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[ERROR] No.26112701 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Okay so I've snowflaked up my elves and dwarfs, just like you advised me to elvengan/tg/entlemen:

>Elves have no ears, but have a 360degree "nature sense" around them that allows them to sense disturbances in local plant and wildlife (like someone treading on grass).
>dwarves have no eyes and are albino, but have a "rock sense" that allows them to sense the nearby composition of any rocks they're physically in contact with and anything that is also touching those rocks.

what do you gais think?

>> No.26112735

why is brother ali so white

>> No.26112739

>>26112701

No ears, how do they communicate

Sign language is dumb

No eyes is just dumb

>> No.26112786

>nature sense
>rock sense

>> No.26112869

>>26112739

but it makes sense for a subterrananean race to go blind over time, like ants, or badgermoles.

>> No.26112871

It's not a bad starting point. Elves would need something other than sounds to communicate, though. Limited telepathy, or something.
Replace Dorf rock sense with tremor sense - feeling vibrations and such. Oh, and give them bat-like ears.

I wrote a version of dorfs way back that were cephalopod-descended blind albino worm monsters with tentacle-beards and masterwork armour forged by their telekinetic smiths.

>> No.26112872

I hate it

>> No.26112893

>>26112701
This is the dumbest shit I have ever heard. You should know better than to listen to /tg/s fantasy hipster crowd.

>> No.26112900

>>26112871
>I wrote a version of dorfs way back that were cephalopod-descended blind albino worm monsters with tentacle-beards and masterwork armour forged by their telekinetic smiths.
So...not dwarves at all.

>> No.26112919

>>26112900
I dunno - short, bearded, live underground, master smiths, a bit belligerent.

>> No.26112926

>>26112869
The moment you make up shit like Rock Sense or Hippie Sense, you dont get to bitch about shit not making sense.

>> No.26112929

>>26112701
These are pretty cool, I wouldn't mind playing in a setting like this.

>> No.26112942

>>26112871
>telekinetic smiths

I'm not sure The Smiths were all that good as armorers. Though obviously a telekinesis enhanced 80s pop band would be nigh unstoppable.

>> No.26112945

>>26112919
You forgot to mention that they are basically the bastard spawn of a catfish and an earthworm.

Also, Artemis Fowl did the antennae beard thing long before you and didn't have to make dwarves retarded to do it.

>> No.26112966

>>26112871
So you smashed together TES and Eoin Colfer in an utterly unimaginative way. Big fuckin whoop.

>> No.26112982

>>26112701

To be frank, I've seen far better snowflake elves and dwarfs that actually make sense as well.

I think you need to sit back and snowflake a bit better.

>> No.26112985

>>26112919
that's not a dwarf though. those are cultural traits that could describe nearly any being, like the ones you made up. 'Dwarf" carried with it a physical expectation that should at least be basically adhered to. I'm all for creative tweaks, but there's no point in calling blind worm monsters dwarfs.

>> No.26113003

>>26112945
>>26112900

>Muh dwarves.

Listen. There's this miracle called fiction. In fiction you can do whatever you want. Dwarves can be whatever you want but it's a good idea to make some relations to precedents. These tentacle bearded worm-dwarves sound awesome and related to precedent.

>> No.26113008

>>26112919
So you made Star-Nosed Mole Vikings. Also, you reduced an entire culture to one personality.

Basically, you're shit all around.

>> No.26113029

OP, this strikes me as difference for difference's own sake. You want YOUR elves and YOUR dwarves to be different, for no real reason than it'd make them different, and it smacks of being particularly uninspired. You aren't trying to do anything with these unique versions of elves and dwarves beyond base differentiating your setting from the norm.

Your own snowflake comparison is apt; "special snowflakes" are often characters that are different for the sake of difference, just as your elves and dwarves are.

Also, vanilla dwarves already have "rock sense." It's called "Stone Kenning."

>> No.26113031

>Dwarves sense composition of rock

This is just too acceptable and right.

>> No.26113045

>>26113003
>These tentacle bearded worm-dwarves sound awesome and related to precedent.
Except not at all. It sounds like he had an idea for an original race and then slapped the dwarven stock personality on it and called it a day.

For reference, both Artemis Fowl and TES had unconventional dwarves, but they weren't some stupid shit like worms-that-walk with a scottish accent. Though, TES dwarves are more of prodding fun at conventional dwarves than anything else, but they're STILL better than 90% of dwarves out there and 100% of what /tg/ comes up with.

>> No.26113051

>>26113008
>you reduced an entire culture to one personality
Not him but are you seriously calling him racist for stereotyping a fictional race?

>> No.26113069

>>26113051
>are you seriously calling him racist for stereotyping a fictional race?
No, I'm calling him shit at culture/race creation.

>> No.26113077

>>26113069
Oh. Carry on then.

>> No.26113080

>I NEED SNOWFLAKE RACES
>"Okay sure"
>I'M GOING TO TAKE ELVES AND MAKE THEM HAVE NO EARS BUT THEY CAN STILL SENSE THINGS
>"Uhhh okay then"
>DWARVES ARE STILL DWARVES THEY'RE JUST BLIND AND CAN SENSE ROCKS

So really you're just giving us dumb superficial changes that you made to their anatomy(that don't even make sense) instead of actually changing anything relevant to the common elf and dwarf tropes.

>> No.26113090

>>26112701
>>Elves have no ears

>> No.26113101

>>26113003
>dwarves can be whatever you want
while yes, it's technically true that you can do whatever you want in your fiction, the point we are discussing is whether it's a good idea. and when you take a well established species like dwarfs, it really isn't a good idea to make them wildly different, for a variety of reasons. Firstly, they carry with them some expectations. dwarfs are such an ingrained part of fantasy that people know exactly what to expect when you describe them. that's why they're useful. Of course you don't need to strictly adhere to this, and in fact I would say it's better if you don't. it gets boring if every setting has subterranean, mastersmith, bearded, drunken scotsmen. tweak these things. but you reach a point where they no longer can rightfully be described as dwarfs. and really, when you have this much creative divergence, you aren't giving yourself enough credit if you can't take the leap and make them your own unique race.
I think a good way to look at this is to replace dwarf with human. it seems pretty silly to say "you enter the human village. the denizens are 12 foot tall molluscs with translucent skin and feathered wings." while this race idea may appeal to you, it certainly shouldnt be called a human.

>> No.26113102

>>26113045

>Worms-that-walk with a scottish accent

Now you're just imposed what YOU think a dwarf should be on his dwarves. He's already said how they're related to precedents. They fit the dwarf niche.

>> No.26113103

>>26112945
>>26112966
Pardon me for forgetting a detail from a children's book read, what, a decade ago now? At least? I'm not really seeing the TES connection - though in retrospect, they were also fond of golems.
>>26113008
I like the way you inferred such a reduction from so little info. I set them up as antagonists and left their culture intentionally vague. Because it was something I wrote in a /tg/ post about dramatically modifying standard races and haven't gotten back to yet.

>> No.26113107

>>26113090

>elves are known for their pointy ears... Now how can I make them different...
>I know! I'll just remove the ears and everyone will think I'm brilliant!

>> No.26113118

>>26113102
>Now you're just imposed what YOU think a dwarf should be on his dwarves.
He straight up said they were gonna all be Gimli clones up here >>26112919

>> No.26113122

You don't need to change their biology to make them more interesting.
Change their culture.
For example, Dwarves in my setting are stupid hill people that are covered in tattoos and use cats (you heard me right, fucking cats) as cattle because they are easy to raise underground and make decent food. Their ancestors lived in mountains but after a lot of shit went down, the Dwarves lost their homes and their old culture and technology to become unsophisticated brutes. They are xenophobic, live in a patriarchal society, and have TONS of ludicrous superstitions.
Different from the average 'hi ho, hi ho, off to work we go' Tolkien Dwarves but still interesting while remaining in effect the same race.

>> No.26113124

better idea for dwarfs have their beards work like a animals whiskers. this could explain their love of their beards and protectiveness of them. make it so they can still see but that in the dark they use their beards to find their way through caves. also you could say that the older the dwarf the better their beard sense because of the longer beard.

>> No.26113134

>>26113118

I don't see Scotsmen up there.

>> No.26113140

>>26113124
>better idea for dwarfs have their beards work like a animals whiskers.
Artemis Fowl did exactly that.

>> No.26113145

>>26113122
I like that.

>> No.26113146

>>26113124
>also you could say that the older the dwarf the better their beard sense because of the longer beard

>> No.26113153

>>26113102
>now you're [sic] just imposed what YOU think a dwarf should be on his dwarves

yeah, thats sort of one of the major problems with this. we wouldn't have this problem if he called them Gnurloms or something

>> No.26113154

>>26113101

This would be true in the case for the humans. They're nothing alike, but if you manage to tailor them to fit into the dwarf niche while still being unique, I see nothing wrong with calling them dwarves for conveniences sake.

>> No.26113161

>>26113122
So, uh, they're like midget Scots that eat cats? Because that's hilarious.

>> No.26113167

>>26113122
>cats

>> No.26113174

>>26113140
well i dont know what that is and was being a smart ass so... ok sure why not.

>> No.26113178

>>26112701
>Dwarfs now live in the AIR in cities built like giant whirligigs with intricate mechanics. To them flying is AWESOME.

>Elves now are all SEAFARING who love MOTHER OCEAN. They almost entirely live on tropic islands.

>Halflings are hicks from the SWAMPS AND MARSHES that are quick to kill outsiders. They ride alligators.

>Gnomes are from secret societies that all live behind WATERFALLS and make crazy BUBBLE based systems.

>Orcs are obsessed with building and crafting BIG TOWERS. They want to build a tower to the moon. They all live in towers and castles and obsessed with building taller structures. They have a fierce dwarf rivalry to see who can get taller faster.

>Humans live in the barren plains and deserts, favoring travel and hating stable life. There's very few humans and most are adventurers.

>Fey are now from space. Specifically the moon.

>> No.26113179

>>26113122
>stupid hill people
>and use cats (you heard me right, fucking cats) as cattle because they are easy to raise underground and make decent food.
>Their ancestors lived in mountains but after a lot of shit went down, the Dwarves lost their homes
>xenophobic
>TONS of ludicrous superstitions

So you made a post-apocalyptic version of Dorf Fortress?

>> No.26113184

>>26113122
I think this is one of the best suggestions. if you want different flavour, change the way they act, not the way they look. It's a way to subvert tropes and get a nod instead of roll'd eyes.

>> No.26113190

>>26113161

Yes.
They're boisterous, rude, smelly, and critical of those that don't want to eat steamed cat guts with a side of cat bacon.

>> No.26113192

>>26113167
>>26113122
>they taste like my cat
>THEY TASTE LIKE EVERYONE'S CAT!!!

>> No.26113207

>>26112942
>>26112942
its okay anon, i laughed

>> No.26113210

>>26113122
>Different from the average 'hi ho, hi ho, off to work we go' Tolkien Dwarves
You mean "Don't worry, Dale-men. You're our greatest allies in the fight against Smaug, so you can trust us with these piles of gold and mighty fortress overlooking your capital."

>> No.26113218

>>26113178

>> No.26113221

>>26113154
but the entire convenience of calling them dwarfs comes from the pre-formed notions about them. If they are nothing like traditional dwarfs, I would argue calling them such is in fact INconvenient.

>> No.26113241

>>26113178
I like it. I like it too much.

>> No.26113249

>>26113221

This. I mean, if you make something wildly different in most every way fron traditinal dwarfs, why call them dwarfs in the first place? All it's going to accomplish is to confuse people.

>> No.26113250

>>26113178
this is pretty awesome, and a good way to demonstrate proper creativity in terms of already established species. As was said before, change culture, not biology.

>> No.26113254

>>26113080

To be fair, elves already had some dumb fucking shit;
>they have pointy ears
>therefore they also have dark sight

What was that all about?

Personally I'd get rid of both lots of extra senses, give bonuses to elves for spot checks, bonuses to dwarves for listen checks, then have humans be defined by their possession of both sight and hearing but have to deal with the primarily sign language based "high cities of the elves" and the primarily dwarfish speaking dwarven underwarehouses and fortresses, meaning they have to spend more skill points on having both languages, and maybe the "trade language" of overly complicated handshaking.

then have the lizard people communicated by changing of temperature patches on their faces that only they can see with their IR pits, so no one realises that the lizard people can communicate at all.

>what's that angry lizardman who's pointing his sword at me saying, telepath translator NPC?
>"I am [personal name] [family name]. You killed my father, prepare to die."

>> No.26113258

>>26113221
this, but also:

dwarves and elves aren't called that because they are the usual fantasy races that are like that. it's because of folklore and shit. 'elf' means forest spirits and 'dwarf' means short people

>> No.26113271

How about you come up with something new, instead of clinging to elves and dwarves like a braindead 12 year old?

>> No.26113273

>>26113250

I'm pretty sure anon got it from a random generator though.

>> No.26113282

>>26113273
all the more impressive.

>> No.26113290

>>26113250

What, take random race x and assign random trait y plus habitat z, with no rhyme, reason or underlying logic to them?

>> No.26113294

>>26113254
>dark sight
elf eyes can see super far and probably through mist or whatever and magic too. they're demigods.

unless you mean not tolkien elves. fuck that, then.

>> No.26113297

>>26113290
This is what passes for creativity in fantasy.

>> No.26113304

>>26113178
Make the elves brown and give em parrot familiars and I'm sold.

>> No.26113308

>>26113290
I guess when you put it like that, it's not so great. but it's certainly better than take random race x and make it into new random race y with entirely different physical chracteristics, but call it random race x still.

>> No.26113312

>>26113290
it says something when most people are doing worse than random choices.

>> No.26113317

>>26113290
>no rhyme, reason or underlying logic
>logic
>race lives and works in hot and humid mines all day
>ALL OF THEM HAVE GIANT BEARDS

>> No.26113319

>>26113312
IT says that they're trying way too hard.

>> No.26113323

>>26113221
So much this. In fact, if you call a NOT!dwarf a dwarf, you will have to fight all the preconceived notions about dwarves every step of the way, like in this very thread.

Same goes for elves. Stop making NOT!elves and calling them elves.

>> No.26113329

No.

If you are going to change races that much, create entirely new races.

>> No.26113333

Alright, to clarify- I called the things dwarves because that was the point of the thread in which they were formed, and as a deliberate nod to TES and its unconventional dwarves. I had an invented name for them (Umbraten) that was more commonly used.
And yes, I agree that changing culture is more effective and the examples given are pretty cool, I changed the biology based on habitat and selection with intent to fill in the blanks/more research.
With that out of the way, anyone want to see the actual writeup for the damn things?

>> No.26113335

>>26113290
Its better than pull shit out of your ass with no rhyme or reason and then call it an elf.

>> No.26113343

>>26113317
Indeed. Short and stalky works well at higher altitudes as well, due to less oxygen up there.

>> No.26113348

>>26113297
well when you get down to it, it's all that really needs to or can be done. can you imagine the work that would go into making a single campaign, if, after the whole geography of the world had been created, hundreds of entirely unique species, each with biologically sound reasoning behind their anatomy, had to be designed, placed, and given unique cultures? forget hundreds, even tens of these would take a ludicrous amount of effort. Now I'm not for laziness, and proper creativity is still important, but to make it so that games can get underway with out years of initial preptime, it is better to take standard races and tweak them for you purposes, and generally it satisfies all involved.

>> No.26113351

>>26113254
>What was that all about?
"Tell me Legolas, what do your elven eyes see?"

Thats where it came from.

>> No.26113353

>>26113308
No it isn't. At least changing what the races are requires some level of design creativity. It takes absolutely no thought whatsoever to go "elves are now pirates, orcs are now ancient chinese, ogres are now fantasy cowboys, etc. etc."

>> No.26113358

>>26112926

>Hippie sense

Lol'd hard.

>> No.26113361

>>26113333
>and as a deliberate nod to TES and its unconventional dwarves
Then you need to study TES better because this is less of a nod to their dwarves and more spitting in their fucking mouth.

>> No.26113372

>>26113351
Legolas was a mary sue though.

>> No.26113375

>>26113333
TES dwarves are elves with a different culture and funny name.

anyway, if your dwarves are short there's no reason not to call them dwarves and if your elves are rare and magical there's no reason not to call them elves.

>> No.26113376

>>26113273
Actually it comes from a series of threads about 3 and a half years back on /tg/ that was basically about the same thing this one is.

>> No.26113378

>>26113353
Why does everything have to be original and creative? Why can't people just stick with a random idea that seems like it could work regardless of the effort that went into conception?

>> No.26113385

>>26113358
Just read it again
>allows them to sense disturbances in local plant and wildlife (like someone treading on grass).
Either this guys elves are constantly having a seizure because they can literally feel every last insect on every last leaf and blade of grass, or op meant that they sense "intruders of nature" like some kind of hippie faggot.

>> No.26113388

>>26113375
Well, there are a million things that are rare and magic and a million things that are short. Why not have the gnomes be dwarves and the Illithid be elves in that case? Because it's dumb, duh

>> No.26113391

>>26113353
atleast the use of interchangeable tropes allows a game to flow rather than slowing it down to a grinding halt.

>> No.26113396

>>26113372
The guy asked a quest and I answered it. Your feelings on Legolas are unrelated to that.

>> No.26113399

>>26113361
How so? Literally all I did was suggest the term dwarf was an anachronism dating from some earlier culture that doesn't seem to fit with what is currently known of them.

>> No.26113407

>>26113385

I love how they portray elves in that game.

>> No.26113410

>>26113375
This just in, dwarves are kender and elves are beholders.

>> No.26113421

>>26113388
it would be perfectly reasonable to call every magical being an elf

>> No.26113429

>>26113348

Yeha but the real design philosophy should be the rule of cool ("is this element cool?"), not the rule of special snowflakes ("Is this element unique and special").

Occasionally a special snowflake might be cool, but not all cool things are special snowflakes.

>> No.26113431

>>26113378
>Why does everything have to be original and creative?
Because it's fantasy.

And frankly, nothing turns me off of a fantasy setting more than cookie cutter race concepts.

>> No.26113432

>>26113407
I love that game in general. I also love how when they had dwarves in the first one, it was utterly impossible to parody them since dwarves are already a walking parody of what they used to be. Or as the game put it, an angry, beer-soaked beard with legs.

>> No.26113434

>>26113178
I remember this. The dwarves and the halflings were the coolest part of the setting.

I especially liked the cajun-mafia, casually necromantic Halflings.

>> No.26113442

>>26113429
This guy gets it. The dwemer are so beloved because they are interesting and cool, not because they're a unique take on dwarves.

>> No.26113445

>>26113421
>Implying Eldritch Horrors like Cthulu aren't elves

>> No.26113446

>>26113431
So because you don't like it?

>> No.26113451

I like the rock sense, expand it to metal and make them play a mean guitar.

>> No.26113452

Rolled 3

>>26113385
>>26113407

What game is this?

>> No.26113455

>>26113407

>I love how they portray elves in that game.

As retarded potheads?

>> No.26113457

>>26112701
The best "snowflake" dwarves I have seen would be the ones one of my mates made up for his setting. Hive minded dwarves that live in geodes. The more powerful dwarves are able to control large geodes to move around the rock and dirt and eventually they get curious and decide to drive a few geodes up to the surface. The Geodes themselves are made of magichandwavium which allows the dwarves to craft wands and other magical items which only work for other geode dwarves who are "keyed" or born to the geode. While the dwaves can drive large house sized geodes there are larger ones - as big as cities which can no longer move.

>> No.26113458

>>26113445
I guess we could exclude gods, demons and such

>> No.26113461

>>26113442
Of all the races of Tamriel, the Dwemer (Deep Folk) or 'Dwarves' are the weirdest. The Khajiit might have 24 different forms dictated by a magical, biological connection with Tamriel's moons, and the Argonians no doubt enjoy, at least psychologically, the most alien sentience on the planet, but the Dwemer are still WEIRDER. Why? It's simple, really. Elves in popular fantasy literature have always been ciphers for humans, almost always of that special breed known as Paragons on the Decline. They are not the Other (as lizard people and cat people must be) but rather the Another, that which has qualities similar enough to humans that we can relate to it but also possessed of a certain cultural outlook, religious tradition, or scientific method so skewed that the relationship is strained almost to the breaking point. In "Lord of the Rings" the aspect of the Another was immortality. In Tamriel, and specifically the Dwarves, that aspect is what I can only call Heroic Abrogation of Everything, a complete and utter refusal to accept what everyone else experiences as the real.

That's why the Dwemer are the weirdest race in Tamriel and, frankly, also the scariest. They look(ed) like us, they sometimes act(ed) like us, but when you really put them under the magnifying glass you see nothing but vessels that house an intelligence and value system that is by all accounts Beyond Human Comprehension.

Dwarves were the ultimate Bartleby's of the universe: whenever it asked something of them they simply 'would rather not.' Let me take this a step further and say Dwarves regularly practiced the perception of acausal effects. Dwarves knew that phenomena (that which can be perceived by the senses) and noumena (that which is the thing-itself) were both illusions, with the second one just being more clever. Dwarves could divide by zero. There isn't even a word to describe the Dwarven view on divinity. They were atheists on a world where gods exist.

>> No.26113463

>>26113391
If that's your reasoning, you might as well just stick to standard pretty wood elves and scottish miner dwarves. There's already a hell of a lot of precedent for them, and no obviously shoehorned in "creativity" to complicate things.

>> No.26113473

>>26113385
>awareness implies overload

>> No.26113475

>>26113458
No, I was just joking because "Eldritch" means "Elvish" in its original usage.

>> No.26113479

>>26113475
Well, Elven. I guess I'm a retard.

>> No.26113481

>>26113429
That guy here.
I totally agree with you. I'm not for special snowflakes at all, and I'm sorry if what I wrote came across that way.I simply mean to say that being insanely creative and perfectly logical isn't always a feasible way to create a setting

>> No.26113487

>>26113442

They were actually quite typical dwarves.

Trying to be atheists in a world, where gods are very real.

Digging too deep

Inventing overcomplicated amazing machinery specifically designed to murder continents of sentient life

Designing overcomplicated robots specifically designed to murder sentient life.

A fucking weather machine. How the fuck do you even do that?!

>> No.26113489

>>26113446
Yeah, I don't like generic, lazy efforts.

If the argument has boiled down to "mediocrity is fine because it's too hard to be creative", then I don't think I have to keep pressing my point.

>> No.26113497

>>26113452
Overlord 2.

>> No.26113501

>>26113497

Ah. Always meant to give those games a run. Never got around to it.

>> No.26113507

>>26113461
they look like bored assyrians.

>> No.26113518

>>26113489
If the argument has boiled down to you deciding what can be called creative based on what you consider to require "creative effort", then yes, I would appreciate it if you stopped.

>> No.26113519

>>26113481
>being insanely creative and perfectly logical isn't always a feasible way to create a setting
Why the fuck not? Do you need to design a brand new setting every single game you run? Why shouldn't you agonize over the details, and try to make it the best you possibly can?

>> No.26113521

>>26113463
Generally, I think that works well enough and is a good idea for a casually constructed setting.

>> No.26113524

>>26113487
Dwarves typically arent psychic hiveminds who ascend to godhood/hack themselves out of the universe by turning a gods heart into a giant robot

>> No.26113530

If you're tired of Tolkein-ish races, look for other settings like Glorantha.

>> No.26113536

>>26113497
Shit, if I had known it was that awesome I would've bought that years ago when I first saw it.

>> No.26113537

>>26113487
that's just TES. everything in it does things like that.

>> No.26113550

>>26112701
Why would you bother calling them elves and dwarfs at that point?

>> No.26113551

>>26113519
I didnt say you shouldn't, in fact you probably should. it's better to be really creative and detailed when you can be.

I said "not always feasible" meaning it can't always be done. there are plenty of constraints preventing people from doing this when they make a setting.

all power to you if you want to do it. I'm simply saying people aren't bad because they can't always do this.

>> No.26113570

>>26113537
...Wrong quote?

>> No.26113584

>>26113524

There's still debate on whether they "deleted" themselves out of existance or simply warped into another dimension.

>> No.26113601

>>26113530

Glorantha dwarfs are probably the best example of something that is still recognizably dwarfs, but still different enough to be really cool and creative.

>> No.26113611

>>26113584
They became the Brass Flesh-Divinity of the First Numidium, Walks-Like-Brass.

>> No.26113620

>>26113530
>Glorantha

Naw man. Naw.

>> No.26113625

>>26113611
are you sure about that?

>> No.26113628

>>26113550

Coming from a player perspective, even if they're altered like this, a new name for the races is very likely quickly going to be replaced by "Elves and Dwarves" or "Not-Elves and Not-Dwarves"anyway.

That said, changing the names here would definitely be more justified than, say, a setting where elves are regular elves, just called Aeldun or something that's TOTALLY FANTASY GUYS.

>> No.26113656

>>26113601
Well yeah, and of course it helps that what most people know as dwarves are well, like the runts of the litter. The ancient races of dwarves all got wiped out, and now you've got these guys who were made for numbers, not skill, having to pick up the slack.

>> No.26113659

>>26113620

Yeah, man, yeah.

>> No.26113666

>>26112701
Lets jus switch the two around

>Elves are fat stocky and short all have beards.
Why? They live in bountiful forests and can practically tell the fattest bugs to walk into their mouths.
The beards is for extra hippy, also they stink terribly.
Average hearing because the forest is full of noise and hearing it even harder ain't gonna help you.

>Dwarfs are thin lean and have big ears
>only have very thin hair on their head they're also gracious as fuck
Why? Living underground doesn't give you loads of grub.
Having hair that can get in the way is anathema.
Being able to be agile and shit is important for living with the threat of your roof collapsing having great hearing essential to listening to the stone and find water and shit.

And for some reason they're the bests of friends.

Humans: http://www.slate.com/articles/sports/sports_nut/2012/06/long_distance_running_and_evolution_why_humans_can_outrun_horses_but_can_t_jump_higher_than_cats_.2.html

>> No.26113667

>>26113620

Why'd the dwarf have to spoil that group shot by pulling a duck face?

>> No.26113692

>>26113667

Don't fuck with the ducks, man.

>> No.26113694

>>26113667
He'd just been given the bill.

>> No.26113715

>>26113601
Really different. You know the Myth of Lhankor Mhy and the cage? Have you ever heard the Mostali version of the myth instead of the Storm Tribe version?

>> No.26113728

>>26113667
Beware the ducks, man.

>> No.26113729

>>26113715

Do tell.

>> No.26113732

What's with this obsession with keeping elves and dwarves in everything? Why don't you just take baseline humans, and then if you want to add some traits that you would have stuck on say, elves to make your elves "different", just apply those traits to a particular race of humanity?

>> No.26113741

>>26113140
>Actually reading Artemis Fowl
Either youre a masochist or a dumbass.

>> No.26113757

>>26113741
I remember the first one or two of them being good, as a teenager.

>> No.26113775

>>26113741
I read em as a kid. They were lying around and not so bad. I only really read the first three, though, and by the synopses online, they get full retard after that.

>> No.26113782

>>26113729
This is the Mostali side of the story of how Lhankor Mhy came to be trapped in a cube by the Stone People.

Maintenance Log for Unit 118NK0RMH, a class Y processing node

This node performs preventive maintenance upon the Machine by absorbing leaks of essence class Y. It then classifies, separates, and recycles those leaks, restoring them to their proper places in the Machine. It has been malfunctioning. The scavenging controller has allowed the unit too much latitude, resulting in inappropriate absorption of raw materials not designated for recycling.

Manufacturing defects in the node are not possible; it is a first generation component, designed and assembled by Mostal. A defect in its programming must have been introduced through sabotage by an external agent. The defect is most likely viral in nature, creating further defects in programming, and is probably associated with the disorder rune. Defects of this nature have been classified under the moniker "Curiosity." The defect caused the intake of contaminated materials, which altered its programming to seek out more contaminated materials. The alterations include the original defect itself.

Repair on the unit was attempted. First a team of Gold and Silver mostali located the defective unit and specified the diagnostic procedure. This was repeated several times due to the ambulatory nature of the processor. That nature and its wide scope of operations necessitated the use of a special tool for the containment and isolation phase of the repair effort. A Complete Altitude-and-Girth Encincture (CAGE) was carefully placed around the node by the supporting B38 squad prior to the diagnostic effort. Unfortunately this tool suffered a failure due to manufacturing defect as detailed below.

>> No.26113788

>>26113782
Elemental forces associated with disorder acted in resistance to the diagnostic effort and most of the unit was assigned to neutralization and cleanup. Unfortunately presence of these forces triggered another change in the unit's programming. It provided a set of new instructions to squad B38. Since the unit's instructions did not include a handler for the type of interrupt provided by the defective unit, the squad experienced an error condition and halted to await diagnosis and repair. This halt affected the latch of the CAGE unit, resulting in a breach of containment. All progress towards the repair was lost.

The viral nature of the defect creates further obstacles to repair. Any and all units in contact with the defective node may have been contaminated by "Curiosity" and must be retrained at a minimum. Optimal repair requires removal and recycling of the affected components. Fortunately squad B38 suffered severe disorder at the hands of the elemental forces leading to their disassembly. Great gains in efficiency have thus been realized by proceeding directly to the recycling phase! However complete repair requires removal and recycling of the following additional components:

1. The gold and silver mostali involved in specification and planning, including the unit composing this review.
2. All tools, programming, instructions, and other written material related to the repair, including this document.

>> No.26113820

>>26113782
>>26113788
I think I like the Storm Tribe's version better.

>> No.26113830

>>26113820
Well yeah, but worshipping malfunctioning components of the world machine causes problems.

Eventually it might lead to plants.

>> No.26113833

>>26113782
>118NK0RMH, a class Y processing node

That's actually pretty funny.

>> No.26113845

>>26113830
>>26113830
>Not converting to Vegetarianism

>> No.26113846

>>26113782
>>26113788

Oh lawdy, this is fantastic.

>> No.26113856

Completely dysfunctional malfunction in unit >>26113845 detected. Recommend recycling procedures effective immediately.

>> No.26113860

>>26113820
Something to be remembered about the Dwarves is that they don't see the world in quite the same way.

To a Dwarf, everything's a post-apocalyptic hellhole that needs to be repaired.
Elves are mutant plants that want to grow to cover everything.
Trolls eat eveything.
Humans are childlike scavengers using tools they don't understand and are going to blow their faces off.

Your average dwarf group seen on the surface are recoverers of dwarven secrets, using firearms, and wearing armour and masks to protect against hostile spirits.

>> No.26113871

>>26113782
Best thing about that image?

Those Dwarves are wearing clothes they associate with fancy human clothing. That's what they think impresses humans.

>> No.26113893

>>26113871
I'm more impressed by their legendary tubes that breath fire and death.

>> No.26113913

>>26113856
>>26113845

One great thing about the dwarves is every single one of them is actually dysfunctional, just in different ways. They're kind of like the groups from Paranoia that hate mutants, even though EVERYONE is a mutant including them.

>> No.26113942

>>26113871
are you saying you aren't impressed?

>> No.26113966

>>26113942
They look like ducks.

Now, this is impressive >>26113893 , even if terrifying. It's not about the weapons, but look at all that Iron. That's more iron that exists in all of Sartar.

>> No.26113968

>>26112869
I don't know what it is about this gif but I could watch it for hours. And you're right, that's a logical outcome for subterranean races.

>> No.26114015

>>26113966
>They look like ducks.

Compliments will get you no where.

>> No.26114021

>>26113966
Also, it's fun that they calculate exactly how many of your people they will kill, and warn you.

>> No.26114071

>>26114015

That has to be the world's smuggest duck.

>> No.26114103

>>26114071
You'd be smug too if you thought you were the only people who got the myths right, and everyone around you was a moron too dumb to realize it.

>> No.26114112

>>26114071
Man in the corner is the best part

>Is dis nigga for SERIOUS?

>> No.26114138

>>26114071

>> No.26114159

>>26114103
>>26114138

Oh my god, it all suddenly makes sense...

>> No.26114187

>>26114103
do they really fuck you up in a fight? i have read on /tg/ about the ducks of doom in Glorantha and how you should treat them well

>> No.26114190

>>26113507
You know it, son.

>> No.26114232

>>26114187

The ducks themselves can fuck you up in events, but they're weak in battle.

The problem is that the ducks have got buddies down south.

>> No.26114254

>>26114187
Well, in straight raids they're kind of weak, but stronger than you'd expect from a bunch of ducks.
However, they also have an abnormal amount of Humakti in their clans, and if they want to duel you they will kill the fuck out of almost anyone you send against them.

The REAL issue though isn't the ducks themselves... It's their much stronger friends.

>> No.26114276

>>26114187
Ducks are tough. Instead of sending out expeditions to only keep down undead infestations, they settle down right in necromancer territory. They strongly favor Humakt, God of Death. Ducks don't just raid, they fight to kill.

>> No.26114319 [SPOILER] 

>>26114187
Your continual torment of the ducks has finally paid dividends in blood. As the beastfolk emissaries warned you, the beastfolk have risen up against your clan. Bringing a force of ducks, minotaurs, and centaurs against you, supported by fox people and wasp people, they virtually destroy your clan. Almost all of your combatants are dead. Half of your non-combatants are slain or were taken as thralls. The victorious beastfolk destroyed your fortifications, drove off most of your livestock, and looted your steads and clan hall. Many ring members were slain fighting the enormous beast warriors. In short, the future looks bleak for your clan.

>> No.26114653

>>26114276
Well, to be fair, they did get kicked out of a lot of their territory.

>> No.26114837

>>26113461

One of the better posts I have read.

Thanks.

>> No.26115084

>>26113140
Artemis Fowl did your mom.

>> No.26115525

>>26113524
Speaking of that Dwemer hivemind stuff; were they?
I remember reading one of the books that said Nerevar was bros4lyfe with Dumac the dwarf-king(and as far as I know just the king),
both working hard to make sure their tenuous alliance lasted, Dagoth Ur finding out Kagrenac the high not-priest was building a giant golem in secret, and when Nerevar brought an army demanding explanations Dumac, outraged, told him to piss off because he didn't know anything about no 'Numidium'.

>> No.26115600

>>26115525
>were they?
Yes, no, maybe so. Can you repeat the question?

Just about all the specifics of the dwemer are LOST TO THE ANNALS OF TIME and not even the last living one really sheds any light on the subject, as he was too busy vacationing in another dimension when everything went down.

>> No.26115637

>>26114071
>no one's posted THAT FUCKING DUCK from Wakfu yet
You're slipping, /tg/

>> No.26115687

>>26115600
Touche.
I just never heard anything about a hivemind except on here.

>> No.26115765

>>26115687
Some books talk about how some ancient texts >imply there might have been a psychic connection, which is how they were able to mobilize their armies so fast or how the dude pretending to be a golem that the dwemer gifter to the chimer was able to relay the information he gained whilst spying back to the dwemer without ever leaving his golem armor.

>> No.26115872

>>26115765
What if they aren't psychic, they just had walkee-talkees and the other races were too primitive to realize what it meant?

>> No.26115962

>>26115872
Exactly, no one fucking knows. Also of note is that even though dwemer golems all have soul gems in them, they arent powered by the soul in the soul gem. Instead, the dwemer used the heat soul gems radiate to assist in the golems functions in ways researchers still don't understand.

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