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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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[ERROR] No.25899519 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Do you ever feel bad for monsters? and/or try to help them?

>> No.25899548

Generally, if you feel bad for it, it's probably not a monster.

>> No.25899563

you gotta smite all the evil son

even if that means the king and all his knights

>> No.25899596

Oh yeah.

I entirely blame /tg/, the whole party's like this.

Last 2e game the party paladin was jokingly referred to as a pimp because he had assembled a monstergirl mansion..

>> No.25899601

>you gotta smite all the evil son
Word. And dont forget, any paladin who doesnt act as a Detect Evil radar at all times is intentionally allowing the spread of evil and is therefore committing an evil act, meaning that he falls.

>> No.25899607


>Sir Arthur Avery's House of Redemption

Nope, it still sounds like a brothel to me

>> No.25899617

This really only works if the DM is okay with it, otherwise they'll railroad into fighting and everybody will call you "that guy" for trying to force diplomacy. And they'll accuse you of wanting to fuck it (and they're probably right).

>> No.25899624

/tg/ neutral good as fuck.

>> No.25899637

Its a male brother. The House of Redemption is where all monstergirls go to be redeemed on that hot, holy paladin dick.

>> No.25899649

>rehabilitating monstergirls


try redeeming illithids and aboleths and i'll be impressed.

>> No.25899651

>tfw no turned monster gf
even captcha knows this feel

>> No.25899667

If they were meant to live they've not bei n my way.

>> No.25899668


You're damn right it is

>> No.25899683

>try redeeming illithids and aboleths

Is trying to redeem the remnants of the first and last races in the universe really necessary

I mean after all that time it's probably not gonna happen

>> No.25899695

The only Illithid girl I have is 2lewd4tg, so have a Lichtor gal

>> No.25899701

so you're saying you're not good enough?

>> No.25899714

Here's how my player go...

>party in town.. happy mostly carefree, shopping, lovemaking, roleplaying...

>party out in an adventure... FUCKING KILL EVERYTHING...

It's the damnedest thing. They'll give a hobo the shirt off their back, but if they see him in the woods, he's sword food.

>> No.25899726


I'm saying redemption feels so good around my dick, gurl

>> No.25899729

It's only in their nature that they kill folks, but it's only in people's nature not to be killed.
Nothing personal, it's just conflicting interests.

>> No.25899736

Not here, because Medusa was canonically an evil, murderous cunt and this picture is for deviant degenerate "monstergirl" fetishists.

>> No.25899741


Well if he's in the woods he's probably up to no-good

>> No.25899767

>Not having played a character whose main quest was to fuck every type of female monster he comes across
>Not taking a shitload of languages to improve your chance and having such languages come into play
>Not fucking a Swamp Hag and getting super crotch rot as a result and going on a quest to get shit to kill the festering dick blisters

Seriously, I am shocked /tg/

>> No.25899776


Really? Because it looks like it's for Gerard Butler fetishists. Look at that Perseus, mate.

>> No.25899784


Want to, but probably wouldn't do it in games with people I know. After all, some of them read /tg/ too.

>> No.25899790


>Medusa was canonically an evil, murderous cunt

I thought she was turned into a horrible ugly snake-haired monstrosity as punishment for being raped by Poseidon?

>> No.25899817

>Swamp Hag

>> No.25899838


Hey, anything's possible with enough dicking.

>> No.25899850


Yeah, and one of the goddesses out there thought she was raped because she looked to hot, so she got hit with holy ugly stick.

>> No.25899855

Heh. Clever.

>> No.25899867

I try but I have limits.

>> No.25899875

>Yeah, and one of the goddesses out there thought she was raped because she looked to hot

... no, she hit her with the ugly stick because Medusa was her own priestess but had the audacity to get raped in her temple. That inconsiderate buffoon.

Speaking of which, why does Medusa have immortal invincible sisters?

>> No.25899879

>Implying you wouldn't fuck Cthulhu

>> No.25899905

But the party has been doing that (illithids, vohzds, weirder creatures too; never used aboleths, although I've used shoggoth-like creatures) for years before they ever ran into monstergirls.

Its not as if it was intended to be monstergirlcentric, either.

>> No.25899911


That's right.

Fucking Greeks and Romans were crazy as hell with their mythos, man.

>> No.25899914

>Play Paladin/Bard
>Everything is a dump stat but Charisma

Thus opens the story of Sister Grimdowitz, Converter of the Thousand Evils of Goredrench Pass.

>That feel when you can tell the tale of another of your characters to inspire courage.

>> No.25899927

when I DM I always leave the option for diplomacy open.

Most of the time my party has a stand-off for a couple of minutes before the bard sleight-of-hands a throwing dagger into a "baddie's" face

>> No.25899943


>> No.25899944

They were horny bastards who invented the concept of "monster girls"

>> No.25899955

True, true.
I'm pretty sure Zeus tried to bone everything that walked on two legs with a vagina at some point.

>> No.25899957


dude monster girls have been around for as long as humanity has been telling stories

>> No.25899968

But the greeks were the first to say "hey, I could FUCK that..."

>> No.25899975

>and he seduced a princess by turning into a swa-
>Fuck you, Secundus, and fuck your goddamn bestiality fetish. Get the fuck out.

>> No.25899982

I've got a pretty simple routine for monsters. I yell "Hey, don't be a dick, we can talk this out" in every language I know. If it doesn't work, I kill it.

Because sure, they might just speak a language I don't know. But I'm not going to learn it mid battle, and if I try they will kill me. And if they understand my language and attack anyway without talking to me, well, they're a dick.

>> No.25899984


Sometimes, when it becomes clear that the "monster" wasn't trying to hurt anyone when it was attacked by scared villagers.

Grey Renders provoke this a lot, given their tendency to adopt people/animals without permission. The Grey Render just wants to hang out with your dog, guy. Stop freaking out, and don't yell at the dog.

>> No.25899990

> So he turned her into a cow, and -

>> No.25899991

Other ancient legends did it too, but Greece was pretty fucking randy, yes.
Nigga that was straight up rape. Also
>implying any true Greek would yell at another Greek for their fetishes

>> No.25900006

You don't know that, they were just the ones with lasting records that say "hey, I could FUCK that..."

>> No.25900013

Snake girls pre-date ancient Greek society by about 4000 years in Hindu myth.

>> No.25900017


That Secundus ain't right, I tell you what


>> No.25900022

and these are the official myths.

Imagine the smut that didn't make it into today's history books

>> No.25900033

Something tells me those Babylonians were into some kinky shit...

>> No.25900038

My bad, didn't think to look it up first.

>> No.25900050

>Floronius, privileged soldier of the 7th legion, was here. The women did not know of his presence. Only six women came to know, too few for such a stallion.
Never, ever gets old.

>> No.25900059

Not really, their gods and supernatural shit was full nightmare fuel

>> No.25900073

>implying they would be bitching about fetishes
>implying this conversation didnt take place while each of them was both balls deep in some prepubescent boy, possibly the same one

>> No.25900078

Maybe they were REALLY open-minded.

>> No.25900079

> Restituta, take off your tunic, please, and show us your hairy privates
Woah now, Restitutus... tell us how you really feel.

>> No.25900083

in short:

4chan is going to be the myths and legends of the future.

Modern fantasy threads will educate our descendants about lamias and centaurs.

>> No.25900088

And this is what the entire western world based its culture on, ladies and gentlemen.

>> No.25900104

Gonna put MGQ on a flash drive and then into a time capsule

>> No.25900113


... and that kids is how Slaanesh was brought into the universe.

>> No.25900119

Why did abrahamic religions have to ruin all the cool sex stuff

>> No.25900121

You are a good man.

>> No.25900132

>Atimetus got me pregnant

Shit is rough.

>> No.25900139


The Abrahamic religions are full of relatively crazy sex stuff, like super double incest

It's just that we, as a people, got more boring

>> No.25900143

These young Roman men sure liked to let people know where they were banging their girlfriends.
I guess the grand tradition of chiseling your name into the bathroom stall is much older and much more esteemed than I had thought.

>> No.25900150

The only other thing in the drive should be a .txt file with "THIS IS WHAT 21ST CENTURY PEOPLE ACTUALLY BELIEVED"

>> No.25900151

> Let everyone one in love come and see. I want to break Venus’ ribs with clubs and cripple the goddess’ loins. If she can strike through my soft chest, then why can’t I smash her head with a club?


>> No.25900154

All of the Greek gods and heroes are major cunts.

No surprise considering the Greeks themselves are all cunts as well.

>> No.25900155

you are doing the future a service.

Be sure to make a hard copy. if possible.

>> No.25900157

Because the Abrahamic religions are peasant death-cults from the desert. Truly, the shittiest of all possible religions.

>> No.25900162

he's saying he god friendzoned.

>> No.25900164

yeah dude i have a redeemed aboleth that guided us through a water filled cave.

>> No.25900165

godspeed, soldier. Godspeed.

>> No.25900175

Once the DM accidentally made a Kobold act super noble and shit so we decided to not kill him and keep him as a pet.

>> No.25900181


Pro tip: the Victorians were hilariously oversexed in their own fiction

>When she inquired about Berthe, I replied that she had her periods and was nubile. She looked at me with amazement.

>“She stays locked in the bathroom as long as you used to,” I added. Then, watching her closely, I continued: “They sleep together in the same room, if you know what I mean.”

>My sister blushed deeply but said nothing.

>“There is no reason to be embarrassed, Elise,” I said amicably, “I’m no longer a little boy. Besides you must have noticed when we were little and they bathed us together that my prick’s no worse than your Frederick’s.”

>“Why, Roger!”

>“We’ve got hair between our legs now and we know that there’s something better than playing stickfinger.”

>She was as red as a beet, her bosom was heaving, but she was at a loss for words.

>> No.25900190

>keeps sapient creature as a pet
So, uh... was it consensual?

>> No.25900196

putting it on a floppy and a CD as well. If future fags can't figure one of those things out then they're shit out of luck and don't get any delicious monstergirls

>> No.25900205

>If anyone sits here, let him read this first of all: if anyone wants a screw, he should look for Attice; she costs 4 sestertii.
good to know. I should look her up...o wait shes probably dead.

>> No.25900213

yeah, there was that whole Vesuvius thing

>> No.25900215

That's some hot shit right there, really intense

>> No.25900224

Last time I played a P&P instead of GMing I totally tried to be diplomatic, but that's because I was the mighty Gish, of the Sorcadin variety, and had a Code of Conduct to guide my path and shit. I totally asked questions first, and smote later. However, a bunch of our enemies were undead and demons and shit that just straight up opened with hostilities. We rarely got the drop on anything because nobody with good skills and shit bothered to scout around or stay sharp. In retrospect I should have been a druid or some shit, but whatevs. My character was fun.

>> No.25900225

When I put monsters in my game, I make a point to illustrate and explain that they are called monsters for a reason. They are mindless destroyers who exist, for in story reasons, to do nothing but destroy and exterminate the races of men.

They aren't misunderstood uglies, or territorial tribal simpletons. They don't have weak, adorable children that the Paladin must make the decision of whether to kill or save...

They are fucking monsters. There is no civility or culture at work. They just destroy because destroying is what monsters do.

Why do I do this?
Because there's enough moral ambiguity, tough decisions, complex philosophies, and tricky shit to deal with if there are humans in your game. I've got my hands full trying to spin an intricate social web of intrigue and deceit. I'm not about to be a faggot and be like, "the Lamia had eggs! and they hatch just after their mother takes her last breath!"

My players have their hands full trying to decide whether or not the guy who sent them on the mission in the first place had the right intentions or if he was just trying to get them out of town long enough to do something heinous.

>> No.25900228


The only reason the people of Pompeii were caught in the eruption is because they were too fucking busy carving graffiti in the walls to notice

>> No.25900229

>all this nod nod wink wink shit

>> No.25900232

> only 4 sestertii
Damn, and what a steal that would've been too... Only a few generation late.

>> No.25900244

If I had a single-use time machine, I'd go back and chill with these guys

Then I'd call the volcano eruption and spend the rest of my life in a temple as an oracle getting fed grapes

>> No.25900256


He's actually trying to be coy. This is from a little later in the chapter.

>She went behind the lodge. I heard her pissing. I watched her. She was squatting, bent slightly forward with her legs apart and holding her skirt high enough so that I could see her pretty calves.

>Beneath the knees the lace of her panties was dangling. A stream was spurting between her legs. When it stopped flowing, I withdrew, but she remained in a squatting position. She hoisted her skirts above her loins, and slipped her panties down. The buttocks-hole was in full view as well as her firm, spotless cheeks. Her efforts gave birth to a thin sausage which slipped from her arse-hole, dangled an instant, and then wriggled to the ground. A bit of juice followed, then she pissed a trifle more.

Victorians, ladies and gentlemen.

>> No.25900267

Scat: Ruining porn since 1600 AD

>> No.25900279

why are you watching a lady take a shit, guy.

>> No.25900281

I'm pretty sure everything fetishy on /tg/ pales in comparison. Which is way I'm hesitant to call out some would-be That Guys, because hey, he IS emulating classical myths.

>> No.25900285

Yeah, that's about as Victorian as the dozen dick girl threads on /d/ right now.

>> No.25900290

>O walls, you have held up so much tedious graffiti that I am amazed that you have not already collapsed in ruin.

At theres one person who feels bad for the walls.

>> No.25900297

Um... All right...

>> No.25900301

It's more like "walls were always shit, newfags"

>> No.25900303


Nah, it was straight up kidnapping.

>> No.25900311

Son, do you realize how evil it would be to just start fucking fights in public places if you didn't have to? Corral that shit before you confront it.

>> No.25900315


>there’s something better than playing stickfinger.

>> No.25900321

Fortunately, she's probably still lying around as a nicely preserved ash mummy.

>> No.25900332

>combat starts
>paladin in my party: I WOULD LIKE TO DETECT EVIL
>bard in my party: I WOULD LIKE TO DETECT MAGIC
every fucking round

>> No.25900334


Jesus christ. I retract my statement on the Greeks being a bunch of depraved, perverted fuckskulls. These Victorians are even worse!

>> No.25900339


>> No.25900340

I guess.

>Two friends were here. While they were, they had bad service in every way from a guy named Epaphroditus. They threw him out and spent 105 and half sestertii most agreeably on whores.

Good for them, being able to turn around a bad night and make it great.

>> No.25900344

>everybody will call you "that guy" for trying to force diplomacy.
This shit's pretty dumb. How is it "That Guy" conduct to play smart/play moral?

>> No.25900346

> Its_Donkey_Time

>> No.25900355


I like those dudes

>> No.25900369

They also gave us this wonderful invention.

>> No.25900371

you gay, son?

>> No.25900375

victorians weren't depraved. they were geniuses

>> No.25900376

>I.7.8 (bar; left of the door); 8162: We two dear men, friends forever, were here. If you want to know our names, they are Gaius and Aulus.

>> No.25900377

>Grey Render
I didn't know they adopted others. This is awesome. Why are they only considered neutral? This is as close to good as a non-intelligent creature can get.

>> No.25900380

>to you realize how evil it would be to just start fucking fights in public places if you didn't have to
>how evil it would be to just start fucking fights in public places if you didn't have to
>if you didn't have to
>didn't have to
A paladin must ALWAYS do battle with evil!

>> No.25900382

Trust me, we don't want him either.

>> No.25900383

They seem like cool dudes.

>Take hold of your servant girl whenever you want to; it’s your right

I could see this on a propaganda poster.

drawfriends plz

>> No.25900388

They dont have shit on Japan.

>> No.25900396

>spent 105 and half sestertii most agreeably on whores
Considering there was another graffiti advertising a single whore for 4 sestertii, it truly boggles the mind what depths of depravity these two guys must have sunk to that night.

>> No.25900407

nukes do strange things to a country

>> No.25900414

Aren't trying to be good, often do evil instead of good?

>> No.25900416

3 or 4 of Pompeii's finest harem houses

>> No.25900421

Guys, guys, what if all this very thread is somehow preserved for thousands and thousands of years, and one day a bunch of idiots will be laughing over our metaphorical graffiti/stupid shit we wrote...

>> No.25900426

You'd be hard pressed to find a computer capable of reading one NOW, let alone in a century or so.

I'll have you know that is a medical device meant for relieving hysteria, not something as crass as a vibrator.

>> No.25900430

Could have been different quality of whores, or at different times and therefore affected by inflation. Not necessarily ridiculous.

>> No.25900431

They were strange before the nuke. One of their mythological creatures is a dude with no head and an eyeball lodged firmly in his asshole with which he sees. Also, octopus rape and using giant stretched out nutsacks for catching fish.

>> No.25900432


>> No.25900441

wait, tentacle porn has mythological precedent?

>> No.25900443

So we should do something about this.
Like, throw Foolz in a volcano
Oh wait

>> No.25900445

coulda been a lot of whores.

Maybe they even did anal. or Flang.
Anyways, I got curious and looked >>25900256
source up.

Found some more!

>At the station I was astonished to discover upon the arrival of the train that my sister had blossomed into a charming young woman. Her pretty little feet were encased in a pair of elegant shoes, and she fluttered about with such grace that I found myself growing jealous of her Frederick. I had decided that every female in the immediate vicinity should become a member of my harem, and the sight of my sister only confirmed that idea in my mind.

Just like my animes!

My little sister can't possibly have such cute feet!

>> No.25900457

That's weird, but not sexually depraved.

It would be sexually depraved if those guys raped women with their tentacles.

...oh, right.

>> No.25900463

Nah, but there was an old woodcut of it.

>> No.25900464

>Anyways, I got curious



>> No.25900468


Now I really want to read 'The Last Man' by Mary Shelley.

From what I understand it was pretty much outright banned from publishing for being 'too lewd' at the time.

Of course, if you want to read really fucked up stuff, just check out James Joyce's letters to his lady. Shit makes my stomach churn.

>tfw I will never have as much swag as James Joyce

>> No.25900469


Monsters are just pinatas full of exp and treasure.

>> No.25900475

Rolled 53, 82, 6, 80 = 221

Consistently. I'm playing a pacifist fighter right now. He has (unbeknownst to the party) established a city with all the 'monsters' I've 'killed'. The cleric is in on it, occassionally helps me heal them if they're too far gone to get there on their own.

>> No.25900500

Marquis de Sade - "The 120 Days of Sodom."

The French win.

>> No.25900501


> My love for you allows me to pray to the spirit of eternal beauty and tenderness mirrored in your eyes or fling you down under me on that softy belly of yours and fuck you up behind, like a hog riding a sow, glorying in the very stink and sweat that rises from your arse, glorying in the open shape of your upturned dress and white girlish drawers and in the confusion of your flushed cheeks and tangled hair.

And this is only the first sentence.

This man is beyond perverted. Beyond depraved. He's something else. Something MORE.

>> No.25900508

Everyday of my life.

>> No.25900509


If I was a paladin, I would smite your ass so hard.

>> No.25900512


That's actually lovely

>> No.25900547


Don't read to much of it.

You will never be the same. It is such a massive dose of ungodly and unholy description of perverse acts that it will either make you repel from it so hard that you will become something akin to the amish or you will accept it and become a degenerate even amongst the degenerates.

>> No.25900587


Dare I ask which one have you become?

>> No.25900608

oh boy... this guy.

>> No.25900637

>very stink and sweat that rises from your arse


>> No.25900645

>using giant stretched out nutsacks for catching fish.
i read that's where the super mario power up come from. they changed it from balls to a tail though.

>> No.25900669

>> No.25900671

A lot of things had giant balls in Japanese myth, but the ones you are referring to in particular are Tanuki, and yes, that is where the Tanuki suit came from.

>> No.25900685

Not monsters, but I have felt bad for the enemy a few times.

Poor bastards had no way of knowing that they just tried to mug a coterie of vampires.

One alarmingly high Monstrous Countenance roll later, they managed to get home that day with their lives. Not their health, mind, but they were alive.

>> No.25900715

Can't do evil, though, and it's evil to make decisions that kill innocents, son. Gotta get those third options and shit. Common knowledge

>> No.25900724

Everyone is reading that from the future.
So fuck you, man.

>> No.25900747

No. The fact that they feel pain is good, that means that they can be hurt in retaliation for the suffering their kind has inflicted on my people. Killing rocks because a rock fell on your cousin's head is pointless, rocks don't feel pain or loss, there's nothing to be gained by revenging yourself upon a rock.

The only rational thing to feel hatred for is living, thinking beings. In other words, other people. Therefore, the fact that "monsters" are actually intelligent, thinking beings is not a point against hating them, to the contrary, if that were not true there would be no point in hating them at all.

>> No.25900755

There are moments.

Few and far between but there are moments. We as heroes become removed from the slaughter to which we count ourselves accustom, but the moments that we- if but for an instant can see them for what they are, we are humbled. It is easy to write off the Lich, fueled by greed and desire for eternal life for his own deeds. But what of the quiet creature in the shadows?

His home disturbed by unwelcome guests seeking nothing but glory? In the end they are no match for what lies in the deep of the cave, some great forgotten horror. And now, even the small chambers they take refuge in are invaded by shadowy figures. Some say that it's instinct. That the creatures fight because they feel they must.

If that is so, are we really so different from they?

Did they not also have dreams, hopes desires?

Perhaps lurking in the shadows was a means to an end.

To rob them of that dream, makes us the monsters.

Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

>> No.25900760

What are you, Lawful Neutral? Fucking queer

>> No.25900787


>> No.25900799 [SPOILER] 


>> No.25900851

This was so off topic compared to what we were talking about now in the thread that I was wondering whether you replied to the wrong thread before I remembered the OP.

Oh /tg/

>> No.25901021

Do not pity the monster, for when it is feasting upon your bones it will feel no remorse. Do not come to me and make excuses for its barbarism, for I too have the right to life, and mine has won out. So to answer your question boy, no, I do not try to aid the things in the night, nor do I feel sorry for them. That is simply their lot in life.

>> No.25901123

Most of the "Monsters" in my games are human anyways. So the very fact that they turned themselves into a monster through their actions precludes them to any sort of pity.

>> No.25901163


If they can be turned into monsters, they can obviously be turned back

Even the king of hell started as an angel

>> No.25901169

Yep, I have a hard time murdering anything sapient, especially if they seem to be part of any sort of primitive proto-civilization. I always want to go full Picard and try find a peaceful diplomatic solution so I can get to know their culture and shit--which is why I prefer campaigns which are more about exploration than fighting.

I also have a big thing for noble versions "evil" creatures. Had a major thing for the Drizzt shit when I was younger, obviously, and nowadays I can't get enough of redeemed demons and the like.

>> No.25901239

They chose this path, just like I chose mine.

>> No.25901320

what... no phyrexians?

>> No.25901327

Persia pls go

>> No.25901347

Out of curiosity, do you believe that there is a god who created the world?

Because maybe she/he/it is the one you should be hating.

>> No.25901349

>I also have a big thing for noble versions "evil" creatures.
>I can't get enough of redeemed demons and the like.

Holy crap, are you me?

>> No.25901523

>DnD Business 101
>Location! Location! Location!

>> No.25902021

>> No.25902028

>> No.25902039

>> No.25902056

>> No.25902057

Depending on the character, detect thoughts and telepathy are both things.

Basically any nonevil, nonracist character I play with an Intelligence and/or Wisdom score 10 or greater (or the equivalent in whatever system my group is playing), does everything they can to diffuse situations before it comes to violence.

>> No.25902063

>> No.25902072

>> No.25902093

Had a chance to murder a few lizardfolk, they weren't evil and I love lizardfolk. We incapacitated one and the other fled. I saved its life because LG I guess and it helped out with some diplomacy down the road.

Felt pretty good man.

>> No.25902311


>> No.25902341


This is fucking adorable.

>> No.25902350

A theological question for the ages, however, I tend to opine that a god, lacking cattle to slaughter and children to kill, is more akin to a rock than a man, and so any hatred directed at it would be innately impotent.

Of course, you could set about killing his followers and burning his temples, but history has shown us that only weak peoples do this, and they are ultimately always defeated and converted. Cultureless and sterile, their descendants are quickly assimilated into the far superior stock of the people they 'conquer,' and soon they are nothing but a memory, mockingly aped by their descendants.

If one hates a god, then the proper course of action is to get one of your own, who is stronger, and convert everyone around you on the edge of a sword. That way, in a thousand years, the grandchildren of your enemies will weep to think that they were ever descended from heathen scum, and will willingly defile the tombs of their forefathers, and spit upon their names.

>> No.25902377

>He's never had all his shit destroyed by a rust monster faggot

>> No.25902388

Only if they are girls

>> No.25902478

My xenophilia tends to kick into overdrive when it comes to beastfolk, especially ones that don't fall into the "proud savage warrior race" cliche. Kobolds and ratfolk are particular targets of my pity/affection because they always seem so hapless (at least compared to a typical adventurer) and overly-excitable. The idea of minotaurs as misunderstood gentle giants gives me warm feelings, and I would love to good-naturedly bully a pissy lamia or harpy.

Really, mythological creatures are pretty awesome in general--it's always bugged me that almost no settings really flesh them out as major races instead of just sticking with the typical "human+exagerrated trait" races (elves, orcs, dwarves, halfings).

>> No.25902490

>especially ones that don't fall into the "proud savage warrior race" cliche

But that cliche is SO GOOD

It's almost as good as the "quirky murderous survivor race" cliche

>> No.25902523

>James Joyce

really shouldn't have read that

>> No.25902560


He did warn you

>> No.25902582

>Kobolds and ratfolk are particular targets of my pity/affection because they always seem so hapless
Then you have never faced real kobolds or skaven style ratfolk.

Either that or, judging by the rest of your post, you have a Napoleonic complex and need to overpower and have control over your partner - if such a word could apply to such a one-sided relationship - in some fashion in order to feel satisfied.

>> No.25902593

I feel like a rust monster would be a great animal companion for a druid, assuming he sticks to wood or stone weapons.

Also, that comic was fucking adorable.

>> No.25902600

>Paladin as fuck
>spend whole 7 level game saving up for masterwork mithril fullplate
>get it
>rust monsters everywhere
God almighty.

>> No.25902602

>>That point where you realize the waves of 'monsters' trying to kill you are the direct result of the massive damage to the world you've inflicted over the course of the campaign.

Well gee fellow murderhobos, why NOT burn down the forest to kill those gnolls?

>> No.25902621


That's as may be, but you're an ambulatory green explosive penis

>> No.25902632



>> No.25902677

I remember that one time, when i put my players to a hellish dillema. They needed to get an item from a medusa who lived in the same cavern with a hydra.

Talking to the hydra the players found out that the item they needed to save people would only appear after her death. It took a whole fight and a special moment, the rolls helped a lot actually, to show t othe players that the two of them were actually in love...

Generally, i view nothing as a monster. Everyone is entitled to a chance to prove who they are, what they are, and what beliefs they bear.

>> No.25902682

We build mighty civilizations in spite of your best efforts.

>> No.25902691

Well my current characters consist of a Lasombra, a Noise Marine, a Dark Eldar Incubus-Haemonculus, and a half-giant viking berzerker.

So no.

>> No.25902704

One of our first quests was to capture a Rust Monster for a private zoo.
We were given the location of a near by cave system where they dwell.

As we progressed in, there was signs of there once being lots of metal, leather from old armours stashed away by bandits, strips and wood from swords and pole-arms Long forgotten from old wars.
However, no Rust Monsters.

We went deeper and deeper, contending with old traps, the odd monster or two and no Rust Monsters.

Eventually, at the far end of the cave there was seam of hematite only partially mined out and a sickly looking Rust Monster trying to scrape any of the life-giving oxide out for it to survive on.

As we knew what we would be hunting, the only metal on any of us was my sword as I had no alternate back-up weapon (Alchemist-Apothacary, I mostly carry the potions and poisons).

So one lost Sabre later, we had a slightly healthier Rust Monster which we didn't even have much trouble securing, it followed me like a lost puppy.

I come an visit it on occasion. With a new sabre for it every time.

>> No.25902707


Nature gave us opposable thumbs instead of the ability to explode on contact

Is that really something to be proud of

>> No.25902723

It does make group survival a possibility.

>> No.25902728

Yes. We can make better explosives with thumbs.

>> No.25902737

I still find the myth of the minotaur achingly sad.

He's born a monster through no fault of his own, but rather because Poseidon and King Minos were dicks. Then, he taken away from his mother, locked underground, and the only thing he's given to eat is human flesh. He wanders the darkness, alone, killing the few humans he sees because they're the only source of food he gets and because nobody ever taught him right from wrong. Then his own half sister helps some guy she has the hots for to murder him, all to screw over King Minos.

And nobody even calls him by his name. "Minotaur" was a cruel joke, a nickname that meant "Minos' bull." His mother named him Asterion, before he was taken from her.

>> No.25902752

Wonder how he would have turned out had he not been taken away from his mother.

>> No.25902761

What the greeks were actually trying to teach us is that the gods are huge dicks and shouldn't be trusted.

>> No.25902763


Probably pretty chill

>> No.25902765

God damn it, now you made me more sad than i expected to be.

>> No.25902783


That's what every one of their later myths is about

It's like you can pinpoint the exact time when the greeks, as a civilization, collectively had their hearts broken

>> No.25902794

>it has a pressure gauge and a small boiler

>> No.25902801


>> No.25902803


>> No.25902812

>>play catfolk fighter
>>gleefully murderhobos his way through anything that doesn't fit in his definition of polite society
>>transportation magic send party to a continent that has never heard of catfolk
>>locals be all "eek a monster"
He mellowed out considerably as that campaign rolled on.

>> No.25902826


>> No.25902847


He stares at a horizon he has no word for, thinking it is the entirety of the world, ignorant of anything that lies beyond. His hand grasps the broken bird, caught as it tried to take wing because the sudden flurry of feathers dazzled him so. He didn't mean to kill it, but latter he will eat it anyway.

What thoughts go through his head as he stares at the setting sun?

>> No.25902873

Someone screencap this, because i don't know how, please?

>> No.25902875


"I wonder if I can fuck it"

>> No.25902876


>> No.25902888



Your keyboard has a frigging print screen key

>> No.25902938

>Hit Print Screen
>Open MS Paint

>> No.25902939

>Every nine years nine men enter the house so that I may deliver them from evil. I hear their steps or their voices in the depths of the stone galleries and I run joyfully to find them. The ceremony lasts a few minutes. They fall one after another without my having to bloody my hands. They remain where they fell and their bodies help distinguish one gallery from another. I do not know who they are, but I know that one of them prophesied, at the moment of his death, that some day my redeemer would come. Since then my loneliness does not pain me, because I know my redeemer lives and he will finally rise above the dust. If my ear could capture all the sounds of the world, I should hear his steps. I hope he will take me to a place with fewer galleries fewer doors. What will my redeemer be like? I ask myself. Will he be a bull or a man? will he perhaps be a bull with the face of a man? or will he be like me?

>The morning sun reverberated from the bronze sword. There was no longer even a vestige of blood. "Would you believe it, Ariadne?" said Theseus "The Minotaur scarcely defended himself."

>> No.25902942


Because you aren't going along with the spirit of the game; if the DM isn't on board, then you're massively slowing down the game and preventing your party from what they want to do, along with what the GM wanted for them. All for nothing.

>> No.25902974


Wasn't it a sacrifice of nine men AND nine women?

>> No.25903011

When the campaign starts.

everyone is level one.

Rats everywhere.
I always try to save them.

>> No.25903071


Of course, he wouldn't know what men were, he'd never have seen a bull before, and he wouldn't understand human language. It'd be like if you locked a person in a dungeon as a child and left them there for thirty years, occasionally dropping food in.

I wonder, how did he make the food last? Do you think he'd kill some people and leave the others to wander, to eat rats and survive for a while, so the flesh wouldn't spoil if he killed them now? Did he follow them, wondering why they were shaped like him, yet different, picking up little human gestures mannerisms? Did he wonder if their strange noises had meaning? Did he ever try to communicate with them, or spare them for a while to see if they would make sense?

>> No.25903103

>> No.25903110

I don't know. Maybe Borges thought Minos kept the women himself, for reasons

>> No.25903131

>Of course, he wouldn't know what men were, he'd never have seen a bull before, and he wouldn't understand human language. It'd be like if you locked a person in a dungeon as a child and left them there for thirty years, occasionally dropping food in.

Kaspar Hauser with horns.

>> No.25903137

Maybe the maze didn't have a roof, had a dirt floor, and grew grass. He was half cow, he ought to be able to eat that.

>> No.25903143

Hnnnng. My heart.

Never trust them fucking silver-tongued bards, man.

>> No.25903147


>> No.25903183


And cannibalism.

>> No.25903197


Pretty sure the labyrinth was supposed to be subterranean.

>> No.25903210


Maybe it was subterranean grass


>> No.25903218

Mushrooms. Like the dwarves eat.

>> No.25903229


Undergrass. I don't know why, but I love this word. I am stealing it.

>> No.25903232


I thought dwaves only ate beer.

>> No.25903252


Where do dwarves even get beer they live underground

>> No.25903255

No no no, they drink beer and eat the mugs.

>> No.25903288

They mine it


>> No.25903289


UnderBarley and Dire Hops?

>> No.25903300


>> No.25903307

Fuckin' bards.

Makes me want to play as a savage, naive halfdragon.

>> No.25903317

it's biofluorescence makes it a staple in ever subterrean settling. ground up it also makes for great warpaint.

>> No.25903330


>> No.25903349

I made a bard that wanted to eat food made from almost every type of monster outside the humanoid types.

>> No.25903383

this happens and that guy the one with the shield... He is about to suffer from an arrow in the head syndrome. Fatal I believe. While I make a small fire and dress the wounds of this poor creature.

>> No.25903397

>> No.25903407

No, they'd have to trade for that with the elves, as they can't make it themselves, not having access to farmlands where they can grow the wheat and barley. But they do make a wonderful whitecap stew

>> No.25903415 [DELETED] 

>> No.25903422

>> No.25903451

>> No.25903455


>mfw dwarves actually have no tolerance for alcohol at all due to being a subterranean race with no fruit or grain to ferment into alcohol

But they all buy it anyway to get shitfaced and their economy selfdestructs as a result

And then the humans take their lands and shit

>> No.25903466

Who's the one on the left with the tail?

>> No.25903487

If it has tits, I will almost always try to help them. Even in cases where helping them often leads to my death.

>> No.25903488

>> No.25903504

>If it has tits, I will almost always try to help them

I bet you almost got Clementine killed a bunch of times just because she didn't have tits

>> No.25903513

don't know who that is

>> No.25903525

>> No.25903530

>don't know who that is

Clearly because she doesn't have tits

>> No.25903532

>> No.25903538 [DELETED] 

>> No.25903557

however I must say, I am okay with helping those who have the potential for tits in the future...

>> No.25903583

This guy's art has always weirded me out.

>> No.25903619

It's from his webcomic Pawn.

>> No.25903624

That picture always gets me. That Medusa's tail is far too short for it to be of any actual use to stand or otherwise. She'd literally have to drag herself around with her hands to move anywhere, so I don't really see how she could of escaped him.

>> No.25903638

Me too
I thought I was alone in this.

>> No.25903650

A cameo character from that artist's webcomic, I think.

Actually, Fredrik KT Anderson draws a lot of monster-sympathetic stuff that would be relevant to this thread. Complete with a bard who can't keep it in his pants when it comes to monstergirls.

Gallery link: http://andersson.elfwood.com/

>> No.25903678

It must be the feeling of weird harem furry shit it puts off.

>> No.25903695


Maybe because it is, in fact, weird harem furry shit dude

The faces in particular have that weird pseudoanime feel that characterizes the works of people like, say, Jay Naylor, or Chris Chandler

>> No.25903724

Did someone say Chris-chan?

>> No.25903732

And the whole
I'm no stranger to sexuality, but goddamn sometimes you just got to carve up the hot female monster into a couple pieces and go to bed alone that night, you know?

>> No.25903800

Christ yes. Sometimes you just need spell components, people.

>> No.25903819


This is true.

>> No.25903866

this is why we slay wizards

>> No.25903870


Everybody is.

Its just more noticeable when you flaunt it and people are likely to get more crazy invested in it emotionally when they have to hide it and be ashamed of it.

>> No.25903891

Those names.

>> No.25903926


Always nice to meat a fellow Tzimisce.

>> No.25904041

Yeah, when am I gonna see some ugly ass sods bumping the uglies?

>> No.25904118

>not using ECONOMICS! and missionaries to make peaceful godfearing folk out of monsters

>> No.25904161

>creating a stable, peaceful society in which adventurers like you will be unemployed
It's like you have no long-term view.

>> No.25904165

>Always nice to meat a fellow Tzimisce.

hehe "meat".

>> No.25904232

I remember that thred.

Fuck. been here too long.

>> No.25904246

>implying I've not been wanting to retire my entire adventuring career
If things would just stop exploding, catching on fire, and releasing ancient evils for just like, ten fucking minutes, I'd be greatly relieved.

>> No.25904330

Epic answer is epic.
Thank you.

>> No.25904407

>that comic
I remember finishing the baldur's gate campaign having only slept twice.

My party had walked from one end of the sword coast to the other, investigating every single cave, tree, bush whatever there was in the wilderness, gone into every house, talked to every person. Effectively eliminated all adventuring possibilities for a 1000 square mile region for at least a decade, if not more, all within a 20 day forced march.

>> No.25904428

Theophilus, don’t perform oral sex on girls against the city wall like a dog

>> No.25904537

i don't have "hairy" fetish....

>> No.25904554

>Herculaneum (on the exterior wall of a house); 10619: Apollinaris, the doctor of the emperor Titus, defecated well here

There's so much graffiti about shitting in the street, I'll never take my plumbing for granted again.

>> No.25904572


The thing is, the Romans HAD plumbing, even at Pompeii.

They were just shitting everywhere else because they were fucking Romans

>> No.25904610

Aw jeeze, the weird demented cow-version just makes it sadder.

>> No.25904639


My first encounter with the story of the minotaur was in an illustrated greek myth book for children with full colour paintings

Except they went with the manotaur look

So he had the head of a man and the body of a bull

It was amazing

>> No.25904680

>Speaking of which, why does Medusa have immortal invincible sisters?

She just did. It was never really explained.

Not being immortal and invincible herself, she went and got that job being a priestess, and then shit went down, and she had to move back in with them.

And they never let her forget it, believe you me. Worst roommates ever. They probably told Perseus she was there when he came knocking on the cave door, despite her hiding around a nearby tunnel entrance waving her hand in the universal gesture of 'tell him I'm not in!'.

>> No.25904683

Athena was angry that Poseidon had sex with Medusa in her temple, so she turned Medusa into a hideous gorgon.

In one version of the myth, Poseidon actually raped Medusa. She wasn't even a monster. Turning people to stone was just a side-effect of being ugly as fuck. Perseus killed her in cold blood. She didn't deserve to die.

On a side-note, I really like that pic. I found it like 2 years.ago and made it my phone wallpaper for a while.

>> No.25904685

A manotaur seems like he'd be a pretty cool bro, but you couldn't take him anywhere he'd never fit inside buildings.

>> No.25904703

>Perseus killed her in cold blood.

Well, he needed her dead

>> No.25904778

No, he needed her head.

>> No.25904805

Perseus - patron saint of the murderhobos.

>> No.25904840

Rolled 10

Nope, I Kill them alllll day

>> No.25904880

His story was quite literally 'Perseus, go kill this person and bring me her head or else' 'sigh ok'

It was GTAIV in ancient greece.

>> No.25905103



>> No.25905328

>The Minotaur's Mother, Pasiphae named him "Asterion."
>Asterion means Starry or "Ruler of the Stars."
>The Minotaur's Mother named him after his beautiful starry eyes.

The idea Pasiphae gave birth to the minotaur and upon seeing him and having him in her arms and just, "Yes. I'm okay with this. You are my son and I love you."

And then he's just taken away.

>> No.25905370


To be fair, he grew up to be an honorless, back-stabbing, team-killing fucktard.

>> No.25905395

Are we talking about the same Minotaur? One might say he never grew up, because he never had a sense of right and wrong to go off of.

>> No.25905410

You are the worst tripfag, dragging in 40k to a good thread.

>> No.25905412


You're talking about the mythological minotaur, Asterion.

Shas is talking about the douchenozzle Chapter Master of the Minotaurs Space Marines, Asterion.

>> No.25905430

Well get the fuck out then.

>> No.25905438




>> No.25905454

Minotaurs were better in the old fluff before Forgeworld fucked them up with all this High Lords shit. Deal w/ and also this is not a 40k thread. Sage for obviously sage goes here.

>> No.25905473

>implying sage does anything
>le down vote

>> No.25905510

>good thread
>Hurr I wan 2 fuk a monstergirl

>> No.25905538


cool armor though.

>CAPTCHA: Henry emmeror

(Ok I'm imagining thats one of the names Da Emprah took when he was laying low on pre 30K Earth.)

>> No.25905545

We were talking about Greek mythology and how sad it truly is.
3/10 for the reply

>> No.25905562


I love this kind of misunderstood tragedy. Have you ever considered doing a bit of writefagging now and again?

>> No.25905705

uncultured swine, stop making 40kfags look bad.

>> No.25905758

>You can pinpoint the exact moment the Greek's hearts break

>> No.25905774

Anyway, we were talking about Asterion the Minotaur.

>> No.25905776

Voice of Man
You're a fag
That is all.

>> No.25905780

>bitches about Human+ monsters
>whilst gargling cocks about how great ratmen, scaly ratmen, and a human with a bull head is
Hypocrisy, ho!

>> No.25905801


Also keep in mind That Pasiphae personally breast Fed the Minotaur.

You realize of course that she didn't have to- she was royalty, she could have gotten a wet nurse or somebody else to do it.

But you don't name your Baby "Ruler of the Stars" and not have hopes, aspirations, and love for your child. If anything I bet the Minotaur was thrown into the Labyrinth because Pasiphae fully intended on raising him to become the next prince/king.

And we all know Minos wouldn't have ANY of that.

>> No.25905814

Same here. I just never spoke up because of the inevitable chorus of LOL U GHEY SON I expected to follow.

>> No.25905819


>> No.25905845

It's his own damn fault.

>> No.25905869

Ehhh. I appreciate the effort.

Seriously though, what little humor there is in those comics is lost on the umpteenth repost.

>> No.25906456

You all should be ashamed. Play Dwarf Fortress at once! Underground ecosystems await.

>> No.25906525

Is it as fun as their site says it is?

>> No.25906676

It's the most complicated and difficult to pick up game in existence.
That said, it's mind-blowingly deep and open ended.
It makes you want to roll your eyes when someone brings up how innovative and complex minecraft is.
Boatmurdered makes for good reading. If you really want to tackle the game, I recommend you watch the first 10-20 tutorial videos on youtube.

>> No.25906712

Thanks. People think minecraft is complex? World full of retards.

>> No.25907485

>I.2.20 (Bar/Brothel of Innulus and Papilio); 3932: Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men’s behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!

What the fuck...as an eastern brownie I find this kind of wrong.

On a side note the area I am originally from is infamous for its pepper trade and a couple of years back we found roman and greek coins dated to around 120 BC-34 AD in the abandoned well near a rumoured old temple of saturn. The property is near the lip of the sea and Muziris was supposed to be somewhere nearby.

>> No.25907508

>VIII.2 (in the basilica); 1882: The one who buggers a fire burns his penis

>> No.25908752

Felt bad for this one goblin..
>PCs sneak into goblin camp
>Start slaughtering
>Goblin wakes up
>Without clothing himself first looks out of his shack
>Immediately set on fire
>Runs away, manages to escape
>His precious +1 leather armor is taken
>Later the party goes on with attacking the goblins homes
>This burned goblin also in the fight
>Wearing a barrel to cover his shame
>Critical, barrel shattered
>PCs tactical retreat, goblin survives this one barely
>PCs come back, big fite, kill goblin king
>Naked goblin couldnt join fight in time, runs away after king dies
>Swears revenge for deaths of his people, burning and maiming of his body, theft of his precious armor

The party had also let some imps free in a trade for information earlier, I'm thinking of a soul-selling pact between them.
Have these impish fellows stalk the now lvl 3 party and shenanigans it up.

>> No.25909163

>not founding a militant paladin order
>not kicking in doors nationwide to cast detect evil
>not dragging the evildoers outside kicking and screaming
>not beheading them in the town square
How do you expect to eliminate evil if you let it fester in the very bosom of society?

>> No.25909203


To be fair, some versions of the myth say the Minotaur showed cannibalistic tendencies even as an infant, and the reason Minos had the labyrinth built was because the minotaur was becoming too dangerous, yet he didn't want to kill his wife's son.

>> No.25909385

These are from 1907.. not victorian by a mere 6 years sorry

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