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[ERROR] No.25653829 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

I'm sorry, /tg/. I don't ever really come here, but alot of you know more about the 40K lore than anyone I know. I work at a Gamestop and I recently checked out the THQ title "Space Marine". I've played the strategy games years ago too, but like I said. I've never read the lore or even played the tabletop. Out of curiosity I wanted to read more about the origins and where these unstoppable weapons came from. Even though most of you knew this stuff already, I think the 19 implants needed to become a SM are fucking badass.

What are some other really cool facts and trivia from the WARHAMMER 40,000 universe? I want to...learn

>Ossmodula (The Ironheart) - This implant strengthens and greatly accelerates the growth of the skeleton of a Space Marine by inducing his bones to absorb a ceramic-based mineral administered in every Astartes Neophyte's diet. Within two years after the surgery, the Space Marine's skeleton will be larger and exponentially stronger than a normal man's with growth having topped out at around 7-7.5 feet in height with an equivalent amount of skeleto-muscular mass. An Astartes' rib cage will also be fused into a solid bone plate to provide greater protection from injury for the internal organs.

Milk. Does a body good.

>> No.25653858

http://www.lexicanum.com/

>> No.25653884

There's the Halo Devices. They're apparently xenos made, and they grant their owner immortality and near invincibility, at the cost of their sanity and humanity. The best part is absolutely no one knows where they come from, who made them, or what their original purpose is.
http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Halo_Devices#.UcqZEusmbu0

>> No.25653933

Let's start at the very beginning.

OP do you know;
Who/What the Emperor is?
How they Travel Through Space?
Who is your spiritual liege?

>> No.25653950

>>25653884
Would there happen to be artist renderings of long time exposed users of this device? The description sound wretched.

>> No.25653957

>>25653933
1) Yes.
2) No.
3) Wat?

Forgive my ignorance.

>> No.25654004

>>25653957

Three is a meme. Two is Warp travel.

Look up stuff on Lexicanum. Start anywhere, really, that interests you, and click any link in it that you don't recognize. You will no doubt end up spending hours looking at random things and you can start at Space Marines and end up looking at Tau reproductive organs or some other totally unrelated topic just from clicking links.

The big ones I'd start with are Imperium of Man, Emperor, Great Crusade, Horus Heresy, Space Marines.

>> No.25654035

>>25653858
>>25654004

Go to Lexicanum. Keep in mind 40k has been around since the 80s. There's lots of contradictory stuff and consistency is not the goal of the setting. I think the fluff works best if you treat them as all propaganda pieces that suggest, rather than outright state, the way things are in the 41st millenium.

>> No.25654045

>>25654004
B-But now I don't want three to be a meme.
I feel like there actually should be a spiritual liege.
Fuck.

BTW I also played this.
Game wise, don't bother torturing yourself.
Other than that, it got the universe right from what I've seen so far.

>> No.25654046

>>25653957
1) I bet you don't know the full story. Gestalt Pre-Human Voodoo souls.
2) Using a device that tears open a hole in the universe, a vessel enters what can best be described as "psychic space hell". Using a magic-psychi forcefiled to keep demons from eating their hull (and crew) a vessel navigates it's way through space hell using a three eyed mutant using a giant lighthouse powered by corpses to find his way. When they arrive at their destination, they could be there only a few minutes after they left, 1000 years after, or sometimes years before they even started the trip.
3) It's an in-joke about the Ultramarines. One particular codex author had then appear to be more prominent in the setting than in fact they are. A line something akin to "all other marines see robout guilman as their spiritual liege" Guilman of course being the Primarch (Genetic-Daddy-Marine) of the whole chapter.

But yeah, I'd also suggest do as this guy suggests - >>25654004

I will warn you now though; debates about 40K fluff get pretty silly. I wouldn't recommend ever getting into that kind of silliness.

>> No.25654049

>>25653829
There are no wolves on Fenris.

Lion'El Johnson (named after the gay poet Lionel Johnson) is the Primarch of the Dark Angels (named after a poem LJ wrote about homosexuality) and they currently live in a floating asteroid called The Rock (named after a gay bar).

>> No.25654062

>>25653950
I'm not sure, but I think this is someone using one - it's implanted around the throat.

>> No.25654082

>>25654049
The Rock was named after a gay bar...?
Wow. This I didn't know.

>>25653829
On the subject of names, the most powerful Ork Warboss in the Galaxy was named after Maggie Thatcher. (At least his middle and last names, if I recall correctly Ghazghull is more of a title, something along the lines of Big Death Skull or Double Hard Bastard)

Ghazghul Mag Uruk Thraka

>> No.25654097

>>25654046
1) I'm sure I don't. I only started reading but 2 hours ago. It seems like there are days if not months of content.

2)What the FUCK did I just read?

3)Gotcha

don't worry. I'm reading this all for curiosity. I mean, I played all the games through out the years but never gave the actual back story a chance. While alot of neckbeards come into my store, none of them know about 40k anyways so no one to argue with.

>> No.25654111

>>25654062
>typicalImperialadministrator.jpg

>>25654082
>The Rock was named after a gay bar...?
This claim repeatedly appears on /tg/, but never with a reliable source or evidence.

>>25653829
The coolest fact about 40k is that no matter what happens, the Eldar are the real winners.

>> No.25654149

>>25653884
>>25654062

So how the fuck do you actually BEAT these things? You shoot it until nothing is left but ashes and hope nothing tasty touches them?

>> No.25654178

>>25653884
>>25654062
What I like about these things is that you could base an entire critically acclaimed book or tv series around the idea of sanity-inducing immortality devices, but they're just background fluff of some distant, isolated thing in 40K. The damned place is just big.

>> No.25654183

>>25654097
1) Well, in a nutshell...
Long ago in a distant land (Anatolia, 5000BC) a group of the first human psychics started gazing into psychic space hell (The Warp, The Immaterium) and found that there were a bunch of giant nasty things called the Chaos Gods. They were shit scared. So, they did what any sensible group of pre-historic psychic would do. They commited massive ritual suicide to force their souls to be reborn into a single child, a child destined to protect mankind from Chaos. That kid was the Emperor.
Yes, you're reading that right. The Emperor has been alive since 5000BC, created by a suicide pact. Oh, and through his life he's taken on many roles to guide humanity, from Jesus to (possibly) Hitler. 40K is pretty bonkers.

2) Warp Travel, in a nutshell.

3) Cool.

>>25654111
>This claim repeatedly appears on /tg/, but never with a reliable source or evidence.
Well poo.

>> No.25654186 [SPOILER] 

Did you know?
You can only be good at the game [spoilers]if you have a fedora and a neckbeard at least the regulation 2" thick.[/spoilers]
You become unstoppable if [spoilers]the neckbeard also covers your torso down to your crotch[/spoilers]

>> No.25654188

>>25654149
Shoot it with meltas or flamers until it dies then bury it in a very deep grave

>> No.25654189

>>25654149
Well, in a way, you don't really need to beat them. They're relatively isolated monsters, and while they might kill hundreds or even thousands of people over their lives, the Imperium is so huge it'll never even notice those losses. If it's necessary to take one out, dismemberment followed by incineration and careful disposal of the ashes seems like a good police.

>> No.25654192

>>25654111
So, despite how OP Space Marines and everyone like them are, there is something even stronger than them? I'm reading up on Eldar right now.

>> No.25654235

>>25654189
Or just exterminatus-ing whatever planet or ship they're on if its absolutely vital for them to die.

>> No.25654236

>>25654192
They're not that OP in crunch as they are in fluff. In fact, our Black Crusade group consisting of four somewhat regular dudes with medieval weaponry took out five Black Templars, so yeah, not as powerful as one things.

>> No.25654238

>>25654192
There's plenty of things stronger than the spess marines, but the eldar aren't it. They just claim everything is going to plan despite losing all the time because they can see into the future and are supposedly manipulating things for some big victory.

>> No.25654245

>>25654192
Well, for a start there's Chaos Marines.

Not only do they have the same genetics, organ upgrades and armour, but they also have millenia of training and the blessings of the chaos gods.

The Eldar aren't so much stronger, as they are Space Elves. Long lived, highly "magical" dying race in space. Part of their fluff is that they're all dying off and sealing away their souls in magic crystals before one of the Chaos Gods (The one they accidentally created) eats them. When all the Eldar souls are as one, it's said a new god will awaken. But most races gave a similar end-game scenario.

For example, the Emperor when his magic golden toilet breaks is supposed to ascend to be a God in his own right.

>> No.25654253

>>25654192
In fluff, space marines are simultaneously capable of killing an entire planet single-handedly and no stronger than your average ork boy, depending on whos writing what.

>> No.25654265

>>25654253
lol, this.
40K fluff is contradictory as hell.

>> No.25654266

>>25654183

Holy fuck. what am I getting myself into?

>>25654186
I've seen beasts of this calibur when they enter my video-game sale radius. Radar is not needed as you can hear and smell them from a minimum of thirty feet. One approached me at my throne-counter and uttered the demonic ritual words "I'm reserving Disgea, Persona, and Cataclysm."

The Earth as a whole shook that day. Many lives were not spared.

>> No.25654267

>>25654192
Take some of what you read with a pinch of salt. Of late, there's been a bit of a trend towards worfing them - having them being beaten up to make other armies look good. 40k has a lot of fluff, but sadly, a lot of it is a bit badly written.

>> No.25654274

>>25654253
Thatz becos orkz are da strongest

>> No.25654281

>>25654266
40K fluff is a strange and twisted rabbit hole built up over a long long while. It's mental is all I'll say.

I mean, you don't NEED to know that the emperor is made of suicide and pretend to be jesus, but it's a nice random fact about the setting.

>> No.25654288

>>25654266
>"I'm reserving Disgea, Persona, and Cataclysm."

Truly, he must have been the most intimidating of beasts.

>> No.25654299

>>25654192
Basicly the Eldar are the current whipping boys of the writers.

The only victories they're allowed to have a phyrric ones.

Such as the Black Crusade campaign a bunch of years ago. The Eldar did best and won the campaign. Their reward? Their best character got to die.

>> No.25654303

>>25654265
Orks are even worse. Like I said, the bog-standard ork boy is supposed to be equally tough as a space marine and so durable that you can literally give an ork a head transplant or staple a new arm on it with an industrial staple gun and he will be right as rain again and they are only supposed to get tougher, more durable, and stronger from there, yet despite all that you hear story after story of IGs slaughtering orks with relative ease or even a tau beating them in CQC.

Ah well, I still love em.

>> No.25654304

Now that I think about it, shouldn't we compile a "WH40k For Dummies"? I mean, in short explain what you need to know about every faction and so on.

>> No.25654309

>>25653829
>What are some other really cool facts and trivia from the WARHAMMER 40,000 universe?
Ummm, how about "Your emotions turn into evil monsters in another dimension"?
That's always a good one.

>> No.25654321

>>25654274
I shouldve said clear a whole planet of orks, but the point is depending on who needs to be the hero of the tale determines how tough someone is. Unfortunately thats usually SMs, hence everyone calling them overpowered.

>> No.25654323

>>25654304
That sounds like a worthy project that would never be completed.

>> No.25654329

>>25654304
A combination of 1d4chan and Lexicanum kinda covers that.

>> No.25654338

Even though this isn't entirely related to my thread's original purpose. I totally forgot: Anyone excited for the new 40k MMO being made? Apparently Free to Play users are going to be stuck as low level orks and payers can be other races. Sounds pretty legit.

Here is a good question I'm finding a hard time getting an answer for. What is the point of the Chaos faction? I get that they like carnage and blood, but are they pretty much space marines with a more psychotic blood lust?

>> No.25654361

>>25654338
The development team seem to have the right idea for that, but they haven't made a single good game ever. I'll wait and see how it turns out.

Chaos is split into various factions that all do their own thing. This guy has the gods down pretty well.
https://archive.foolz.us/tg/thread/25483612/#25485651

>> No.25654364

>>25654329
But Lexicanum is crap and almost impossible to get into unless you know what you know what to look for, and 1d4chan does unfortunately contain as much accurate lore as your average melon.

>> No.25654370

>>25653829
>The inquisition can do whatever it wants, as long as it doesn't piss off the inquisition... then it gets complicated

>Noise marines have guns that shoot this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmk2EnwRbDE

>Some people in the imperium actually lead lives exactly like the ones we have, some planets are actual paradises

>You cannot invent anything unless you are a magos of the adeptus mechanicus, and even then yougotta be careful

>The necrons can make any star go supernova at the push of a button

>The tyranids come from outside the galaxy, and they are encroaching on ours

>When orks die, they release spores that make more orks, they are actually weaponized fungus made a long time ago by a race at war with the necrons

>If an ork thinks it works, it works for him. If many orks think it is so, then it is, no mater what, pic related

etcetera

>> No.25654372

>>25654192
The Legio Titanicus finds the idea of an eight foot humanoid bring powerful rather amusing.

The Imperial Navy in turn aren't particularity impressed by the firepower wielded by neither Legio Titanicus nor Centurio Ordinatus.

Necrons and Dark Edlar alike seem to wield star-killers. The tau are trying to weaponise them. Hell, the eldar managed to rip the galaxy a huge new asshole just by throwing the party of the eon.

General trivia: the Silent King of the Necrons has been awake and active for over 60 million years now. The Emperor was born 9000 BC. Khorne, Tzeench & Nurgle were born 8000 BC. Slaanesh is buggered into being in the 31st millennium BC.

>> No.25654390

>>25654338
Chaos comes from psychic sace hell.

The emotions and psychic abilities of all the material races get gathered up in psychic space hell and mushed together. The really big ones like anger, despair, desire for change and hedonism become "Gods".

These gods control lesser emotion-gestalts called Demons. The Demons and Gods alike use mortal hosts and worshippers to become more powerful, and in the case of hosts to wear them like a fine suit so they can spend longer outside of psychic space hell than normal.

That's Chaos.

>> No.25654391

>>25654338
>Anyone excited for the new 40k MMO being made?

The guy giving interviews for it said he doesn't care about making a balanced game. I'd like it to be good, but I'm not holding my breath.

>What is the point of the Chaos faction?

Well, from a fluff perspective, Chaos is one of the biggest threats to the galaxy. Nothing gets the various factions within the setting to stop squabbling and work together for a while like a massive Chaos invasion threatening them with mutually assured destruction.

Mechanically, they do play a bit like regular Space Marines, but tend towards being more aggressive and have a lot of weird, often very random, special rules that can either help or hinder them during gameplay.

>> No.25654395

>>25653829
Read Dune. For WHFB, read some Elric stories.

>> No.25654396

>>25654372
Also, time in the warp is not very linear, so all of the Big Four have always existed, as well as never existed.

>> No.25654400

>>25654364
>Lexicanum is crap
Its pretty decent and if you really wanted to make a compendium of 40K lore you would do better modifying and fleshing out Lexicanum than starting from scratch.
>impossible to get into unless you know what you know what to look for
Which is what 1d4chan is for
>1d4chan does unfortunately contain as much accurate lore as your average melon.
Which is why you skulk around 1d4chan until something catches your eye and then look up the nitty gritty on Lexicanum.

>> No.25654401

>>25654391
>The guy giving interviews for it said he doesn't care about making a balanced game
No, he said that factions were inherently unbalanced and it's retarded to give each similar classes like a normal MMO. I think that's brilliant.

>> No.25654404

>>25654370
God damn it. Orks are smarter than that. They can count up to lots!

>> No.25654408

>>25654372
>The Emperor was born 9000 BC. Khorne, Tzeench & Nurgle were born 8000 BC. Slaanesh is buggered into being in the 31st millennium BC.
I'm sure the emeperor was 5000.
Oh, and don't forget the whole non-linear time thing that goes on in the Warp. Even though Slaanesh was born in the 31st, he/she was always kinda there especially when it wasn't. Same with the others.

>> No.25654409

>>25654400
Solid point.

>> No.25654412

>>25654338
>Anyone excited for the new 40k MMO being made?
Not particularly. Not a fan of the payment plan, but the general idea is at least a decent one.

>> No.25654421

>>25654372

Those eight foot humanoids can in small numbers bring down a Titan Legion.

>The Adeptus Astartes are often called upon to fight against insurmountable odds. Even a single Space Marine is expected to be able to overcome a foe that outnumbers him ten to one, or destroy a foe a hundred times his size without a moment’s hesitation. This indomitable spirit is embodied by the fearless strike forces known as Titanhammer squads.

>Pioneered by Captain Lysander of the Imperial Fists, Titanhammer squads proved extremely successful in the suppression and eventual extermination of the renegade Legio Unctator. Caught off-guard by the treachery of the Titans originally deployed in support of his men, Lysander’s men were easy prey for the guns of the Legio’s towering God-Machines. Thinking quickly, Lysander ordered his Terminator assault squads to split up, gathering all those armed with thunder hammers to his side before ordering his flagship to teleport him and his new entourage back to the bridge. After retrieving the ship’s sole vortex grenade from its stasis field and commending their souls to the Emperor, they teleported planetside again, this time within the void shields of the renegade Titans that were stalking towards their former position.

>Lysander himself flung the vortex grenade into the lead Titan’s path. A swirling field of non-space ripped into existence, the resultant implosion crippling the Titan so that it could not escape. Without hesitation the newly-formed Titanhammer squads climbed onto the massive treaded feet of the God-machine, striking with their crackling thunder hammers at vulnerable ankle and knee joints. One by one, the Legio Unctator’s Titans were caught and brought to earth, the dust of their impact blotting out the sun. Since that day Lysander has ordered his veterans to form Titanhammer squads whenever he expects to encounter traitor war machines, and several other Chapters have followed suit.

>> No.25654430

>>25654338
Chaos is literally DA FORCES OF DAHKNESS! They have about as much subtlety and foresight as your average saturday morning cartoon villain. Not that its a bad thing, mind.

>> No.25654438

>>25654370
>You cannot invent anything unless you are a magos of the adeptus mechanicus, and even then yougotta be careful

This deserves expansion. Invention and progress aren't stonewalled because muh traditions or AdMech being dumbasses but because things can go horribly wrong when you invent stuff.

An example is in Battlefleet Gothic. The AdMech built brand-spanking-new battleships. Unfortunately they had inadvertently recreated a Chaos symbol SOMEWHERE in the ship so Daemons kept breaking in or the ships just plain disappeared.

>> No.25654442

>>25654370
Whoa holy shit about the orks. The sore thing is fucking AWESOME. I thought they just fucked like rabbits back on their home planet. Or had really big females that birthed hundreds at a time or something.

Also. Does it ACTUALLY come true if enough think it or is it only true to them? Are you trying to tell me the mental power of enough orks can alter realities set laws and facts?!

>> No.25654449

>>25654370
>>Noise marines have guns that shoot this
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmk2EnwRbDE
Saints Row 4 does it better
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDJOeCUYIqY

>> No.25654457

>>25654404
>They can count up to lots!
You forgot about more!
>Ey dere, Ork Bob, how much dakka ya need fer yer shoota?
>MORE DAKKA, ORK STAN, ITS ALWAYS MORE DAKKA, GORK ZOG IT

>> No.25654467

>>25654442
Nah, that's bollocks.

Basicly the Waaagh field is something that basicly affects probability. It can't make something possible which is impossible. But it makes things more likely.

A gun is less likely to jam, a vehicle will travel faster, etc.

>> No.25654483

>>25654442
>. Does it ACTUALLY come true if enough think it or is it only true to them?
It's mostly true to them. Mainly because they're not actively attempting it. They just know it works. Their "faith" in the waagh isn't learned, it's innate. The closest thing other races have is psychic powers.

> Are you trying to tell me the mental power of enough orks can alter realities set laws and facts?!
It's a big matter of debate, but based on older fluff, yes. Based on newer fluff, no.
In the old days if a boy picked up a metal tube with a handle and a trigger mechanism welded on, slapped in a magazine of any size bullets and shouted "BANG!" loudly enough, it would be a gun that works. Any other race trying to use it would find it's a pile of useless scrap.
Meanwhile new fluff is closer to this >>25654467

Personally, I preferred the old fluff. So do a lot of others.

>> No.25654485

>>25654442
Most ork weapons don't work if the person holding it isn't an ork.

They're almost mechanically sound, but the quality of construction is completely shitty.

>>25654467
In fairness, they can pull some ridiculous psychic shenanigans too. In Fantasy Battle, they've got a forgeworld unit that's a living statue animated by waagh power.

>> No.25654486

>>25654421
I like how they use their one, solitary vortex grenade to immobile the first titan, and then the rest, uhm, stand still out of sheer sympathy?

>> No.25654487

>>25654457
Ya zoggin git.

More isn't a number. More iz like... da ultimate amount. Ya need more dakka, but ya have lotz of dakka. Ya get what I'm yelling?

>> No.25654488

>>25654442
Ork WAAAAGH energy is kind of weird. Think of it as green psychic WD40 or duct tape. An orkish gun should by all means not work as well as it does, but in the hands of an ork it does.

It also does things like make red things go faster and a lot of the more advanced ork tech is completely incomprehensible to all other races.

>> No.25654498

>>25654483
On the contrary, older fluff is closer to normal.

The whole "orks are magic" shit came about in 3rd edition.

>> No.25654499

>>25654483
I liked the idea of ork stuff working because it seems like it should. The empty gun thing is totally retarded for me, but a mek that messes about with enough wires and circuits should be able to build some kind of super laser.

>> No.25654503

>>25654499
They do. Oh lord they do.

>> No.25654510

>>25654485
Not even Anzion said most. He merely said some.

He was also a heretek, and prone to spurious ideas.

>> No.25654511

>>25654442
>Does it ACTUALLY come true if enough think it or is it only true to them?
They cant rewrite the laws of the universe by just thinking hard enough that all humans are now bunnies and make it so, but it does help their guns shoot slightly better, their vehicles move a tiny bit faster, and make all ork tech just generally work better for orks.

But no, orks cant take a rock and call it a grenade and watch it explode.

>> No.25654512

>>25654499
Oh yeah, all their talented professionals are drawing on genetic memory and basically making things up as they go along. They can't even tell you why they made something the way they did.

>> No.25654526

>>25654483
>>25654467

So wait. God damn. I'm going way into deep into this rabbit hole and I don't want to keep you guys from other threads. I know that they scream WAAAGH! ...But I didn't know it actually did anything other than be a battle cry.
Remember, I've only really played the games. They never mentioned (to my knowledge) that the WAAAGH! is basically a type of reality bending mental process for full-retards.

So, despite it being debatable, I have one LAST question. I hope...

>What, in terms of "old fluff" and "new fluff", is exactly WAAAGH!?

>> No.25654527

>>25654511
I'd imagine they could if there was enough of them

>> No.25654534

>>25654526
Orks are psychic. They just can't consciously use the power.

>> No.25654539

>>25654499
They do, but it's not because of any psychic nonsense. It's because ork megs are brilliant. They've got what's effectively a connection to the akashic record, they get an image in their head of "Dis is an awesome gun", then they spend their time building it, by sticking on various bits of machinery and connecting them together until it works.

The actual mechanism is sound, but the idea for it? That's the special bit.

>> No.25654540

>>25654534
Unless they're weirdboyz.

>> No.25654541

>>25654485
>Most ork weapons don't work if the person holding it isn't an ork.
Actually its only a few.

And you also have to take into account the fact that each ork weapon is custom made with its own incomprehensible engineering and mechanical quirks and that orks are born with an instinctual and intrinsic understanding of orkish technology that they probably couldn't even teach you if you tried to learn it. To them, firing a shoota or making a trukk is as natural and easy as breathing or blinking, they have to actively think about it to do it manually.

>> No.25654550

>>25654442
It's a hot debate what exactly the extent is of what the power of the WAAAGH! can do, but it is mentioned in the fluff that their tech is basically useless to everyone but them

>>25654449
Yeah, pretty much the same concept

Here's another fact

>An eversor assasin can and will kill anything and everything with anything, even a minivan, especially a minivan

>> No.25654553

>>25654499
>but a mek that messes about with enough wires and circuits should be able to build some kind of super laser.
Its called a shokk attack gun and it fires snotlings.

>> No.25654556

>>25654498
No, you got that backwards. 3rd ed was when they started reigning it in. Trust me.

>>25654511
If a mek boy handed a boy a rok painted green and said "dis is a grenade", it would work as such. However, the mekboy wouldn't assume it's a grenade coz dere's no splodey bitz.

>>25654526
The waagh is the gestalt psychic field generated by the Orks. They all have it to lesser and greater degrees. The more of them there are in one place, the more potent the power of the waaagh becomes.

>> No.25654564

>>25654526
The Waaagh is the psychic field generated by the Orks when they're all thinking the same way.

It is the communal spirit, their shared goals. It's what it is to be an Ork. The very word "Waaagh" means "We are".

A bunch of Orks together are unbreakable from combat if there's enough of them, because they share goals aims, and because none of them want to chicken out while ol' Skagblat's watchin'.

Because it's what the Orks are, it's also what enough of them are called. As it's been described, a Waaagh is one half migration, one half religious war, one half pub crawl.

>> No.25654568

>>25654553
I was so happy when they released the codex with all the fancy orkgeneering toys

>> No.25654580

>>25654556
>If a mek boy handed a boy a rok painted green and said "dis is a grenade", it would work as such
No it wouldnt. It MIGHT work if he convinced literally every single ork contributing to the gestalt field, but even then ork tech is more a physical thing than fairy make-believe magic.

>> No.25654583

>>25654556
It's when they first did that field shit.

Hell, before that point, they actually used Bolters.

>> No.25654584

>>25654553
Or if you bang it just the right way it will open a portal to the warp swallowing up everything in a 10-meter radius from the target point, leaving nothing but... well... nothing

Much to the disappointment of the mek wielding the device

What good is a shooty gubbin if it you can't even get a decent explosion?

>> No.25654591

>>25654540
Even then, the power uses weirdboyz as much as it uses them.

>> No.25654600

>>25654580
It's more how Feinstein percieves guns. The 'shoulder thing that goes up' and painting an assault rifle black will actually increase its baby killing power, despite making no mechanical difference.

Oh god, the antiguns brigade are orks trying to get everyone to get rid of dakka so everything is more choppy.

>> No.25654601

>>25654564
>The very word "Waaagh" means "We are".
It does...?

>> No.25654609

>>25654584
>Or if you bang it just the right way it will open a portal to the warp swallowing up everything in a 10-meter radius from the target point, leaving nothing but... well... nothing
Yeah, but you still gotta load in the snotling.

>> No.25654614

>>25654580
Yeah, not even then.

It's why the pegleg doesn't provide any bonuses and just provides penalties, despite Doks telling the unfortunate buyer it's really an "ultra-stompy-beekee-kickin' leg" and having it painted red.

>> No.25654632

>>25654614
He's obviously at a disadvantage because one leg goes faster than the other

>> No.25654637

Thanks alot for all the help and cooperation. I'll keep reading the wiki's and checking up on this thread.
I didn't realize so much stemmed past things just killing each other.
Well god damn. Color me impressed with this universe even more. I know I'm not even scratching the surface with some of this. I'm still mind blown at how stupidly I'm ok with WAAAGH! actually being what it is.

I mean...it's so silly and simple...it's gotta wurk.

Rite boyz?
Oy wat da hell is rung wif my noggin?

>> No.25654648

>>25654601
Yeah.

There's a reason why the major ork book is called "Waaargh the Orks"

They originally just called it the Waa-Ork.

>> No.25654675

>>25654486

Obviously they were too dazzled and confused by the Marines' display of might.

>> No.25654679

>>25654236
>four somewhat regular dudes with medieval weaponry took out five Black Templars
I call bullshit, seeing as you'd need to eat through 16 points of armour and toughness to damage them.

Medieval firearms are dogshit, so let's assume you're all super-buff motherfuckers with 40-49 Strength. Using the 2 highest damage dealing melee weapons that a medieval person would have (the Great Weapon and the Scythe), you're be doing 2d10+4 Pen 0 or 1d10+8 Pen 3 (Felling 1) damage.

This averages out to 14/P0 or 13/P3/F1 damage.

On average you would not be able to damage a space marine, if you even hit him, let alone chew through his 20 wounds and True Grit.

On the opposite side, a punch by a marine (1d10+10 damage) would go through Chainmail armour (AP3) and super-tough human body (TB4) doing 8 Wounds of damage on average.

Your GM likes his fiats.

>> No.25654681

>>25654637
>only taking an hour to realise that Orks have the most fun
'e'll go far, dis one. A foocha fulla teef an' dakka an' shiny gubbinz.

>> No.25654682

>>25654614
Of course not. He forgot to toggle the twiddly bit before he yanked the revy chain.

On that note, I absolutely adore Deff Skwadron and especially this little inside look and orkish engineering.

>> No.25654692

>>25654609
whether the poor little shit wants so or not

>>25654637
Go on now young digga, find yer own waaaghs to fight, and grow, you might just one day become a nob, or get zogged, one of the two, it don't matta none

>> No.25654696

Fun thing about Orks and counting?

They've effectively just got a base 5 number system, just with tally marks.

>> No.25654711

>>25654550
>>25654485


Tell that to the Armageddon Ork Hunters.

>> No.25654716

>>25654679
Are you assuming no headshots?

>> No.25654722

>>25654679
No, we had legacy weapons and were at ~45 Infamy and Corruption, a Tzeentch psyker and a Khornate crazy-woman.

>> No.25654727

>>25654711
They always give the same answer "Well you see, they only work then because the Orks see the humans using them, and so believe they'll work, so they do."

>> No.25654729

>>25654716
The marine's head has AP8 on it. His body has AP10.

>> No.25654730

>>25654711
W-what if they've spent so long around orks that they've become orky themselves and that's why it works?

>> No.25654744

>>25654722
That doesn't seem to be "regular" to me then.
>>25654729
His head...?
Unarmoured, his head is nearly as tough as power armour...?
You fucking what?
>>25654730
Digganobz.

>> No.25654750

>>25654722
So you weren't "somewhat regular dudes with medieval weaponry".

You were a psyker (and possibly other somewhat regular dudes) with Lances of Longinus and Mjölnirs.

>> No.25654756

>>25654730
>Wut are diggaz

>> No.25654758

>>25654692
>snotlings
>wanting to do anything
We got Runtherds for a reason

>> No.25654759

>>25654744
It's called a helmet.

>> No.25654769

>>25654744
MY FACE IS MY SHIELD

>> No.25654774

>>25654744
Marines have these things called helmets. Also their heads are as tough as power armour anyway.

AP8 helmet and Toughness Bonus of 8.

>> No.25654777

>>25654750
>>25654722
Still medieval weaponry.

But I guess I should have noted the psyker and the weapons earlier.

>> No.25654786

>>25654730
That's quite the possibility.

It's been floated that Yarrick has basically become as Orky as a human can get, and official models even have his skin take a greenish tint.

>> No.25654788

>>25654759
Kompletely unnesesery

>> No.25654792

>>25654777
Last time I checked, King Arthur wasn't a "somewhat regular dude" when he had fucking Excalibur. Hell, Legacy weapons make Excalibur look like a bitch nigga.

>> No.25654797

>>25654758
They want to revolt against their opressors

>> No.25654798

>>25654730
Thats the joke about Yarrick. Like how orks started telling stories about how his augmetic eye shoots lasers and then all of a sudden he manages to rope a jokaero into making a digilaser eye attachment.

>> No.25654801

>>25654797
Or run bureaucracies.

>> No.25654803

>>25654792
Nonetheless, most of us expected to be absolutely crushed by, well, Astartes bolters, but we survived.

>> No.25654810

>>25654759
Yeah, hence me saying UNARMOURED in the head.

You know, cause Marines go around without helmets all the fucking time. Especially if they were, oh, I dunno, on a Feudal World.

In fact it would make sense for them to be entire unarmoured to not freak out the general population.

Still, you're quite right, they weren't regular dudes.

>>25654769
Nice.

>>25654774
Again, you might want to see above.

Their heads being as tough as power armour is retarded and not supported in the fluff anywhere.

>>25654786
>official models even have his skin take a greenish tint.
You what?
I've never seen that. Are you sure you're not just colourblind?

>> No.25654819

>>25654798
>loses an arm to a power klaw
>gets his own
Yarrick knows his shit

>> No.25654821

>>25654798
I think the exact thing is ''e can kill yer just by lookin at yer!'

I've heard it floated that Gazkull and Yarrick may well be the equivalent of Daemon Princes for Gork and/or Mork respectively.

>> No.25654828

>>25654803
You had Legacy Weapons, a psyker, and 45 Infamy/Corruption. You'd have 3 mutations (some of which are stupid-good) and 4 "fate" points.

Hell, I'd be surprised if you lost.

>> No.25654836

>>25654541
when imperial guardsmen tries to shoot a orkish weapon, it will either misfire or explode in his face

we dont see that happen very often for orkz


get yo facts straight nigger

>> No.25654837

>>25654828
And like 3 armour.

>> No.25654842

I like how this became an impromptu Orks 101 thread. They are absolutely my favorite part of 40K and why I got into it in the first place, so its nice to see a thread like this.

>> No.25654847

>>25654792

When a legacy weapon makes you immortal you can say that. Legacy weapons vary between fairly useless to broken as fuck.


Although nothing quite beats the pleasure of doing this. Get psyker. Next get force weapon. Make it a legacy weapon. Then turn it into a daemon weapon. For more insanity summon a greater daemon to bind it. If by a miracle you're not dead yet you can now beat the fuck out of everything if you get a hit in. Assuming you don't go crazy or something.

>> No.25654861

>>25654836
>when imperial guardsmen tries to shoot a orkish weapon, it will either misfire or explode in his face
Not true. It is MORE LIKELY to misfire or blow up in his face. In RT, they represent this by giving all ork weapons the Unreliable trait in non-ork hands. The weapons are still serviceable enough for an IG regiment to use them exclusive, though.

>> No.25654870

>>25654836
>get yo facts straight nigger
Says the guy who doesnt know about Diggas or Ork Hunters.

>> No.25654871

>>25654842
Orks are pretty much the only part of 40k where the writers haven't forgotten that the setting is meant to be funny.

>>25654836
To be fair, you have to remember the Imperium's attitude towards technology- they understand precious little of how their own gear works beyond the basics, let alone xenos tech, and guard that basic knowledge jealously. Think about how little the average person knows about technology, and now imagine they're literally banned from educating themselves.

>> No.25654877

>>25653829
>Servo skull
A remotely controlled spy drone, repair tool, and occasional assassination tool. Made from the flesh-removed skulls of deceased loyal Imperial citizens and stuffed with electronics.

>> No.25654878

>>25654870
Both of those groups are pretty orky

>> No.25654883

MORE CRAZY ORK ARTWORK!
...
I SAID MORE, YA GITS!
I WANNA SEE DEEZ FORUMS FILLED WIT DA PICTHAZ

>> No.25654890

>>25654842
Everybody loves orks, they were my first army and will forever be my favorite part of 40k too

Even if matt ward DOES fuck over the fluff in the next codex

>> No.25654899

Have Yarrick's backstory from the 2e codex.

>> No.25654902

>>25654861
I think the idea is pretty much that every Ork knows his own weapon for its quirks and idiosyncrasies, while Guardsmen are generally used to mass-produced uniform weapons.

>> No.25654906

>>25654883
okay okay, keep your teef on

>> No.25654912

Humanity tends to use corpses packed with cybernetics rather than robots because robots have a tendency to turn evil and attack their creators.

This has become a recurring theme since way back, when mankind actually had technology that made star trek look barbaric. Robots just turn evil, maybe because chaos makes them do it.

>> No.25654913

>>25654883
ZOGGIT, DO IT YASELF YA SQUIG

>> No.25654919

>>25654871
Even the more serious aspects of ork lore are just metal as hell. A race of fungoid warriors who born knowing how to fight and literally reproduce by killing each other and everything else in the galaxy, giant war behemoths made from scrap metal and the desire to kill being so strong that their very god manifests himself in meatspace and literally stomps on your foes for you.

Just look at some of this art and tell me it isnt rad as all hell.

>> No.25654922

>>25654906

>> No.25654923

>>25654810
>You know, cause Marines go around without helmets all the fucking time. Especially if they were, oh, I dunno, on a Feudal World.
>In fact it would make sense for them to be entire unarmoured to not freak out the general population

>implying Black Templars give a fuck what some unenlightened yokel thinks of the embodiment of the God-Emperor's Will Made Manifest, unless of course these thoughts are heretical or seditious.
>013.M3

>> No.25654929

>>25654877
I see these alot. They are actually collectibles with audio logs in the 40K Space Marine game if you haven't played it.

>> No.25654933

>>25654878
But look at what the guy said
>when imperial guardsmen tries to shoot a orkish weapon, it will either misfire or explode in his face
Kind hard to have an IG regiment based around using ork tech if it blows up in their face every time they use it without fail.

>> No.25654935

>>25654922

>> No.25654942

>>25654902
And that Orks are masters of percussive maintainance.

They just hit their weapon so much it wouldn't even dream of jamming.

>> No.25654948

>>25654883
Lemme post some of what I'm fairly certain is official artwork.

>> No.25654949

>>25654871
>To be fair, you have to remember the Imperium's attitude towards technology- they understand precious little of how their own gear works beyond the basics, let alone xenos tech, and guard that basic knowledge jealously. Think about how little the average person knows about technology, and now imagine they're literally banned from educating themselves.

I'll let Baron Von Evilsatan illustrate the state of knowledge and research in 40K:

"he Mechanicus does NOT have the technology. They haven't been living on some fancy paradise planet since pre-fall. Mars is a fucking anarchic nightmare shithole the moment you leave the safe zones into the kilometres of labyrinthine corridors beneath it full of rogue machinery, self-aware and malevolent AI from before the Fall, and the daemon programs of the Heresy. EVERYTHING in the databases is fucked. The databases are fragmented over the entire fucking surface, to the extent that it would be impossible to see one tenth of the total files in the ludicrously extended life of a Magos even assuming that they are completely safe to visit."

>> No.25654955

>>25654922
>mfw they slapped the chaos gods shit

>> No.25654960

>>25654935
oh yeah here's another fact

>Gaston from disney's beauty and the beast is just an ork

>> No.25654961

>>25654949
"The files have been corrupted into madness by the Fall, and the unleashing of the most potent informational warfare systems ever to exist to defeat the Iron Men. Nearly all of Mars was rendered uninhabitable, what they live in now is built on the top of the ruins. They send archeotech expeditions in to find shit, nearly all of them never come back. The sheer number of rogue war machine running around in there is sufficient to rape the mind. Then came the fucking Heresy, which was not earth-exclusive. Mars as the second most critical planet int he Imperium was the site of fighting nearly as ferocious as on earth, with Mechanicus loyalists and Hereteks fighting tooth, nail, and mechadendrite everywhere. Ancient machines were unleashed, viruses both normal and daemonic unleashed into all the computer systems. Nearly every single stored record on Mars was rendered unusable, and those that survived are half the fucking time self-aware and don't like you, or daemonic and actively try to kill you. If you come back with a schematic, it is almost certainly gibberish, and if it isn’t, it’s probably corrupted into uselessness. If it does come back whole it was probably malevolently fucked with so that instead of a Lasgun power cell it's a fucking grenade set to detonate the second you finish building it. Why do you think they want off-world STCs so damned much if they had them all here? The fucking Heresy is why. Off-world they only have to contend with the Fall's war and its effects on the machinery plus twenty thousand years of degradation with no maintenance. But at least off-world it'll probably just not work instead of actively seeking to kill you."

>> No.25654963

Snakebitez are great, too. Ork purists who think guns and trukks are too modern, so they stick to choppas and squig wranglin.

>> No.25654967

>>25653829
Look up "Squigs" or "Squiggly beasts"

Good for everything from food, to waste disposal to transport, to stylish wigs.

>> No.25654970

>>25654961
"This is why they do not like ANYONE fucking with technology, because it is so fucking rare to find anything that just works it is critical it not be compromised. That, and they do not have the actual knowledge to fuck with it intelligently, just through experimentation, which inevitably leads to slaughter. The entire knowledge base of humanity was lost. Not forgotten, but outright lost. Everything at all, poof. Nobody knows anything because the Fall fucked everything up. To rebuild the theoretical framework needed to design new technologies that don't kill everyone near them would require starting from the ground up."

>> No.25654975

>> No.25654978

>> No.25654981

>>25654970
"This gets on to the point of war and what it does to technology. Someone will parrot that it makes it go much faster. Yes, it makes practical applications of technology go much faster. It also utterly stops all research on the scientific theories behind those technologies. This means that when war chugs along for a decade or two things get done. It means when it goes on too long you run out of theories to turn into technologies, and then you run out of technologies to apply. You stagnate. When you have been fighting in a war for survival in a drastically overextended empire, this is what happens. You are desperate for any extra materiel that can possibly be produced. Half your entire fucking military might went rogue, smashed the half that stayed, leaving you with the tattered shreds of a war machine to keep hold of an empire that was reaching straining point with an army far larger. There is no time for the sort of applied research programs that took Man twenty five thousand years to develop, in a time of unprecedented growth and prosperity.

This is also why the Adeptus Mechanicus insists on cargo cultism. It's because when you are dealing with things you barely understand because everything you knew about them was fucking destroyed it is the safest and most reliable option. The rituals do not exists for mysticism, they exist because they are the most practical means of building, repairing and maintaining the equipment they have with the knowledge surviving. You don't understand why pressing that button makes it go, because the manual tried to take over your brain and the copies are all unreadable and the research base that would let you reverse-engineer it does not exist and cannot be built."

>> No.25654983

>>25654960
with this I go to sleep, it's 5 zoggin am

>> No.25654986

It would be cool to see some more varied warbosses, though.

>> No.25654993

>>25654981
"You need an analogy, here.

Build a library, fill it with all human knowledge. You take it elsewhere, but only in temporary storage because you know where the rest is if you need it.

Now that fucking library goes rogue and the maintenance machinery starts killing everyone any-fucking-where near it. Where the fuck did they all come from, you swear to god there weren't this many, and there weren't because they're using the library's information to fight their war. The government fights a battle that destroys the planet against these robots and is destroyed in the process. The library is leveld, cast into flames, every book burned and every computer virus-laden.

Then comes a man who worked there. He talks to the few surviving library workers, assembles their information, and starts rebuilding a city around the library and expanding it as the librarians find little scraps of paper and fragmented bits of files that stuck together just right read something. They rebuild a library from scrap on the ashes of the old.

Then the city turns on itself, kills its master, and the librarians turn to rage. Half of them kill the other half and destroy the remnants of the library because where they're going they won't need science or technology. Everything burns, and the city is left to a scattered few survivors, walls open to the world, with the hungry predators circling.

The Adpetus Mechanicus is the sole surviving librarian, desperately scrabbling through the ashes of paper and splinters of hard drives for anything to help him and the city he needs to survive just a second longer."

>> No.25654994

Have some Bluddflag. Because Bluddflag.

>> No.25654997

>>25654948
Ah, Blood Axes. Best Ork clan.

>> No.25654999

>> No.25655001

>>25654993
"The Imperium isn't grim because things suck by choice and could be fine if a sensible person came along. That sensible person wouldn't survive fifty seconds of the reality. The Imperium is grim because every single shit decision, every single sacrifice, every single death, every single man woman and child suffering a shit life in the worst conditions imaginable, is the absolute fucking best that can be done. It is a study of the worst happening to everyone and what part of your humanity must be sacrificed today just to stand a chance of survival, and all it asks is whether or not it would have perhaps been better to die."

And there you go. Not as exciting as Orkchat (which is pretty zoggin' great), but I thought it;d be interesting.

>> No.25655008

>>25654997
I have a bias for Freebooters.

>> No.25655009

>>25654994
That's not Bloodflagg.

Bloodflagg was a freebooter.

That's obviously a Blood Axe.

>> No.25655011

>>25654994
that aint bluddflagg ya git
>>25654999
this is bluddflagg
>>25654997
pic related will be my new boss


NOW SERIOUSLY I NEED TO SLEEP

>> No.25655012

>>25654967
>Look up "Squigs" or "Squiggly beasts"
Gotcha covered.

>> No.25655017

Who is the smartest Ork?

And who is the toughest Ork?

>> No.25655021

Also a Big Mek. I love these guys and especially how this one has a cyborg squig.

>> No.25655024

Mekboys are great, too.

>> No.25655027

>>25654963
Nah, they use guns as well, they just don't trust those stuck up Meks.

Instead they do shit like having snakes and spiders bite them so they become immune to poison.

>> No.25655032

>>25655017
Whichever ork you ask

>> No.25655036

>>25655009
>>25655011
Whoops, fucked it up. Its is past 4am in my defense.

>> No.25655049

>>25655032
Orks dont pride themselves on intelligence. Cleverness or cunning, sure, but they dont mind throwing you at a mekboy - possibly literally - if you try to bog down their good time with minute logistics.

>> No.25655058

>>25655027
And smoke frogs for fun, apparently.

>> No.25655059

>>25654321
The vast majority of humanity belongs to an organisation known as the Imperium, a vast theocracy scattered across the stars officially led by the God-Emperor on his Golden Throne, but in truth led by a council of the High Lords of Terra, after the Emperor was crippled in an event that left him in permanent life support.
The primary human military faction is the Imperial Guard. There are millions of different regiments, each one containing anywhere from a thousand to ten of thousands of soldiers. These can vary from a standard army to an armour regiment to guerilla forces to disciplined shocktroopers. The variety is endless.
However, the true shocktroopers of the Imperium are the Space Marines, genetically altered super-soldiers that there are only a million of, officially. They're gods of combat, superior to normal human soldiers in every way and are on the verge of being unstoppable. They are capable of eliminating any threat so long as they're in the right place, at the right time.
Finally, there's the Inquisition. This is the shadowy organisation split into three thirds that protects humanity from threats both internal and external. The Ordo Hereticus, the Witch Hunters, dedicated to hunting traitors and rogue psykers. The Ordo Xenos, the Alien Hunters, dedicating to locating alien infestation and pulling it up by the roots. Finally the Ordo Malleus, the Daemon Hunters, dedicated to hunting Daemons created by the forces of Chaos.
Chaos is the product of all emotion coalescing to form sentient superbeings in a psycho-reactive alternative dimension known as the Warp. The emotions of sapient races leak from reality into the Warp and feed these four Chaos Gods. Khorne, god of rage and hatred. Nurgle, god of disease and despair. Tzeentch, god of hope and ambition. Slaanesh, god of excess and desire. Daemons are created when a Chaos God chooses to break off the tiniest splinter of themselves and send it into reality, a manifestation of their will.

>> No.25655061

>>25655036
That's cool. It's just good to remember that Blood Axes are ded 'ard.

>> No.25655068

>>25655059
Long ago when the Emperor designed the Space Marines, he did so in a way. He created twenty clones of himself, each genetically altered to be a perfect supersoldier. However, the forces of Chaos snatched up each of them and sent them through the Warp to distant corners of the galaxy. Eventually, the Emperor recovered these waywards sons and brought them under his wing but the greatest of them, Horus, was corrupted. He turned half of them against the Emperor while the other half remained loyal and ended up crippling him. The loyalists remain to this day as the Space Marines while the traitors have left, hiding in the darkest places of reality and the Warp. They are the Chaos Space Marines, dedicated enemies of the Imperium.
Another enemy of the Imperium is the Orks. They are a fungal race, created from spores that grow into war-like humanoids with a knack for stealing technology and killing everything that stands in their way. Although they are not connected to Chaos, they are a definite threat, an alien race bent on nothing but stomping through the galaxy in a never-ending search for conflict.
Then there are the Eldar. A mysterious alien race with elf-like features, they are passionate, psychic and superior to humanity in almost every respect. They even created an alternative dimension known as the Webway, through which they can safely travel at a speed faster than light. Yet their hubris and their excess killed them thousands of years ago, before the Imperium was truly formed. Their empire was so massive and so decadent that their emotions poured into the Warp and gradually formed an entity known today as Slaanesh. The birth scream of this Chaos God shattered the empire of the Eldar and split them into two factions.
The Craftworld Eldar live on wandering spaceships of massive size known as Craftworlds, living in total discipline and constantly training their minds, bodies and souls. They seek to combat Slaanesh in every form.

>> No.25655071

>>25655017
The smartest was apparently a Mekboy dubbed "Orkimedes" during the third war for armageddon. He was responsible for creating Tellyportahs big enough to move Roks as well as Orkish Submarines. Though the turh may well have been that Ghazghull himself came up with these ideas, either inspired by Gork and Mork or else tapping into orkish racial memory as a result of his head trauma.

The toughest?
Thraka. Without question, Ghazghull Thraka.

>> No.25655077

>>25655068
Then there are the Dark Eldar. These creatures follow the same traditions that brought about the birth of Slaanesh. They are debauched and hedonistic to the utmost extent, desiring nothing but slaves and fodder to drag to their corner of the Webway, an endless city known as Commorragh. There they protect their souls from the thirst of Slaanesh by feeding off the pain and the suffering of their captives. They don't care about conquering anything, only about the continuation of their decadent empire in the form of Commorragh.
Then there are the Necrons. Far older than any other race, the Eldar and the Orks were both created as weapons to be used be used against them, by a mysterious progenitor race known as the Old Ones. Making themselves immortal by imprisoning their bodies in robotic cages, there is no one who has mastered science the way that Necrons have. After their ancient defeat in the long-forgotten war against the Eldar, they fell into hibernation. Only now are they awakening, seeking to harvest the galaxy and reclaim what is rightfully theirs. For this reason, they are a relatively new threat to the Imperium.
Another new threat comes in the form of the Tyranids. A genetically engineered race of ravenous monsters, there are millions of different variants of them and each variant has billions of monsters to its name. They swarm through the space between galaxies, eating every world they can get their tendrils into. They are controlled by a Hivemind with only one desire - to consume.
The newest race of all is the Tau. A young race of short, stunted blue-skinned aliens, they have a tiny empire in a distant corner of the Imperium and are so small they are hardly considered a threat at all. They follow a strange philosophy known only as the Greater Good and are led by a caste that defines and controls what this philosophy is, the Ethereals. They welcome other species into their empire and seek to bring unity to the galaxy.

>> No.25655087

>>25655077
>>25655068
>>25655059
That's roughly everything, written as compactly as I could manage.

>> No.25655093

>>25655061
Oh I know about the Blood Axes and their borderline unorky organization and their mercenary ways, I just saw a hat with a skull on it and made assumptions, a foolish thing to do in Skullhammer 40K. I even had the briefest "Wait a minnit, thats a Commissar hat" thought, too, I just ignored it.

Here, have a closeup of that really happy ork in the shades at the back of the picture.

>> No.25655103

>>25654370

>the inquisition can do whatever it wants, as long as it doesnt piss off the inquisition

Im afraid that is false good sir

The Inquisition cannot order around

a) Space Marines
b) Rogue Traders
c) The High Lords
d) Anyone more powerful than the Inquisitor in question

Its all politics really, Inquisitors are SUPPOSED to be the most powerful force in the Imperium but it all depends on their experience, reputation and status in comparison to whoever they are going against.

>> No.25655113

>>25655071
Nazdreg was pretty kunnin

>> No.25655132

>>25655113
True dat, but he was aking about smarts.

Though I guess technically because all Ork Know-How is racial memory, all Orks are Equally smart it's just only some of them focus on it... That's a scary thought.

>> No.25655139

>>25655113

I also wouldnt go past Kaptin Badrukk.

Remember he's the one who turned the War of Dakka back on track and is a brilliant tactician (for an Ork)

>> No.25655170

HERETICS MARRY XENOS!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5l7WaCrVrig

>> No.25655175

>>25655103
They technically can't order around Space Marines but they are certainly allowed to declare a chapter of Space Marines as traitors - so long as no other Inquisitor is willing to disagree with them. This means it's wise for Space Marines to cooperate.

This applies to everyone. There is no one that an Inquisitor cannot point a finger at and declare 'traitor.' The High Lords of Terra themselves aren't immune to this. The only immunity comes from other Inquisitors, who can declare him not to be a traitor.

In this way, the Inquisition is oddly diplomatic and frequently gathers in conclaves to discuss stuff like declaring chapters to be traitors and declaring worlds to be exterminated - otherwise they'd all just be running about doing their own thing and killing whoever they please. If an Inquisitor is doing something that would endanger at least one planet, it's common courtesy to let at least one other Inquisitor know and get their opinion on the matter so that your peers don't freak out on your when a world's blown up.

>> No.25655191

>>25655071
To be fair, the existance of Orkimedes has never been proven. The name itself is just a label given to a figure believed to exist by the humans.

>> No.25655196

>>25655103
>The Inquisition cannot order around
>a) Space Marines
>b) Rogue Traders
Technically they can, but if they dont have the firepower to back it up and the chapter/trader in question objects then they are all but fucked.

Also keep in mind the Inquisition is not a single entity. If a single Inquisitor is fucking with a chapter other Inquisitors happen to have good relations with and he mysteriously disappears, then no one will do anything but if a majority of inquisitors have a beef with a chapter, they may find themselves beset on all sides by horrendously accurate ork snipers.

Or in the case of the Yiffs, set adrift. Fenris is pretty much no longer part of the Imperium, if I read the fluff right after the Space wolves killed off a chunk of the Inquisition.

>> No.25655207

>>25655191
>the existance of Orkimedes has never been proven.
Turns out Orkimedes is three grots in an overcoat.

>> No.25655212

All the mutations and whatnot that are randomly happening to humanity are the result of a slow but inevitable transformation to a more evolved psychic endpoint.

Most people don't like this.

>> No.25655215

>>25655191
>To be fair, the existance of Orkimedes has never been proven. The name itself is just a label given to a figure believed to exist by the humans.
Yes, you're right.
I did only hint at that, by suggesting it might have been Thraka's doing instead.
The Armageddon Codex did give a picture of Orkimedes, but that could just as easily have been any old mek as it was just a headshot.

>> No.25655222

Speaking of 40k fluff, is anyone reading the fanfiction Rise of the tau empire? Takes place in the 51st millennium where the fish heads rule the galaxy.

>> No.25655223

>>25655196

With Rogue Traders its a strange relationship.

Technically Rogue Traders are the most powerful force outside of the Imperium while Inquisitors are the most powerful in. So depending on where they stand when this argument takes place either the Rogue Trader or the Inquisitor will have the power. And even then if the Inquisitor doesnt have seniority then he's just blustering and the Rogue Trader can just fly off.

Also Space Marines of more recent chapters can be sorta bossed around, but dont ever try that shit with older ones. They just laugh in your face at best or murder you at worst

>> No.25655235

>>25655215
Not actually OP, that's from another thread. Oopsie.
>>25655207
That'd be funny, but no. It's most likely he was an invention of Imperial Intelligence used to explain away how Thraka's forces had such spiffy new tech.
The scarier notion is that Orkimedes IS Thraka.

>>25655222
>Has anyone been reading fanficiton
Not since I was 12 no.

>> No.25655237

>>25655212
I wouldnt say ALL of them select for humanity's psychic potential

>> No.25655242

>>25655222
>Hai guise, read mah fanfic, is about the tau and how much I loves them!!!!11111
No thanks.

>> No.25655243

>>25654370

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypgltnMSTvw

>> No.25655256

>>25655222
/tg/ actually discussed that before, albeit in a roundabout way. It spawned as a way to make space marines more butthurt, funnily enough.

But no, the closest thing I read to fanfics are the occasional /tg/ writefaggotry.

>> No.25655257

>>25655242
>>25655235
Fanfic has a bad rep but the entire thing has 100+ chapters to it. Primarchs are alive and most of the stuff is taken/heavily implied from the 40k books.

>> No.25655259

>>25655237
That's an adaptation rather than evolution.

The same goes for catgirls, beastmen and those guys with darkvision.

>> No.25655260

>>25655222

>51st millennium
>Tau
>ruling the galaxy

HA! hilarious..sounds like a pretty good comedy

>> No.25655265

>>25655259
>The same goes for catgirls
Pic related is best felinid.

>> No.25655272

>>25655260
It fits their whole spot in the Trinity, though. Eldar get bumped off, Imperium becomes the dying empire, and tau becomes the bloating, stagnating one.

>> No.25655281

>>25655257
I don't know where the idea "more chapters = better" came from, but I don't like it.

>> No.25655284

>>25655257
>100+ Chapters
And? Just because there's a large amount of shit, doesn't suddenly make it less shit.
>But is based on the 40K Canon!!!
That's true of all fanfics.
Even the shitty stories about Ash Butt-fucking Pikachu are grounded to a degree in canon. Fanfiction is grounded in the canon of the setting it's based on by defintion.

The onyl good bit of 40K fanfiction, not incluing the Black Library, is the Dornian Heresy.

>> No.25655287

>>25655256
Originally there was something called Ethereal Dawn, it was planned as a Tau version of Dark Heresy. However, one of the two tripfags working on it basically wanted to turn it into a "the Tau turn the 40K galaxy into a utopia" simulator.

Exalted had a colossal boner for Tau and an even bigger hate-boner for the rest of 40K.

>> No.25655290

>>25655281
Developed, more thought put into it than the average
squad broken fanfic...

>> No.25655301

>>25655272

No..no...

There is going to be no Tau in the 51st Millennium, there is going to be no humanity either..

The 41st Millennium is the time of ending for a reason. The Tyranids are arriving, the Eldar are almost dead, the Necrons are waking up and Chaos has apparently decided to get its collective shit together.

Tell me..if the Imperium is barely capable of holding off all these foes what makes you think a pissant little 'empire' is going to survive?

>> No.25655307

>>25655290
Or it means they have extrapolated on the same half-baked idea for 100 chapters.

I'm with the other guy. Quantity never implies quality.

>> No.25655312

>>25655284
>not caring about advancing the plot line ten thousand years
Alright, whatever suits you man.

>> No.25655314

>>25655272
>Eldar Get bumped off
And Form Ynead.
>Imperium
Lets the Emperor die so he digivolves into a god.
>And Tau
Discover Chaos and get ass raped.

The idea that this is the destiny of the Tau is no more valid than any other racial endgame scenario.

>>25655290
>More chapters equals more developed
FUCK NO.
That's like amateur hour writing.
Less is more.

>>25655312
>not caring about one Tau-Fanboys version of future events that spans over a hundred chapters of mediocrity
FTFY

>> No.25655315

>>25654370
>The tyranids come from outside the galaxy, and they are encroaching on ours
Another fun fact, the tyranid hivefleets are slowly all advancing towards one place. Terra. They are drawn there by the astronomican.

>> No.25655317

>>25655287
It was more of a discussion on what a fragmented, collapsed Imperium would look like, complete with Space Marine fiefdoms completely separated from the Imperium and roving RT pirate fleets who claim to loot in the name of an Imperium some of these fallen nobles haven't been a part of for generations.

>> No.25655321

>>25655314
>Discover Chaos and get ass raped
No way dude, they killed slaneesh *sniggers into palm*

>> No.25655324

>>25655301
>There is going to be no Tau in the 51st Millennium, there is going to be no humanity either..
Yeah, yeah, no need to get all snippy with me, I know how outrageously bumfucked the 40K universe is and the fact that the plot will never progress, all I was saying is that tau are the young upstarts that humanity used to be, so them taking over a hypothetical 50K is sensible.

>> No.25655328

>>25655321
I loved that story.

Was that before or after they decided to Invite a Necron Fleet for a tea party?

Have they sent diplomats out to the Tyranids yet...?

>> No.25655334

>>25655324
>them taking over a hypothetical 50K is sensible.
He's just explained how it isn't.
We don't care about your long ass fanfic.

>> No.25655341

>>25655321
You and everyone like you is a colossal faggot.

They never once thought they killed a Chaos God because they STILL don't believe in gods of any sort, they just thought some dude leading an army happened to be named Slannesh. Its like thinking you killed a random motherfucker named Jesus, not like thinking the random motherfucker you killed was the son of god in mortal form.

>> No.25655345

>>25655324

But it isnt since they wont be alive in 50k , no one will be.

>>25655328

>invite a necron fleet for a tea party

You know that might actually work if they sent it to either Trazyn or that senile Zandrekh .

"Oberyon! the filthy secessionists are calling for a truce! why they are calling themselves Tau these days is beyond me..pack my diplomacy staff!"

>> No.25655348

>>25655334
>He's just explained how it isn't.
I know, I know. Relax, brosef.
>We don't care about your long ass fanfic.
I think that shit was dumb, too. I just said I could see where fanfic guy was coming from, even if I don't agree with him.

>> No.25655352

>>25655345
see >>25655348
Damn, you guys are jumpy.

>> No.25655359

>>25655314
The tau are Necrontyr created by eldar. C'tans are the big bad. Y'nnead is happening. big emps finally dies. alpha legion has infiltrated ulta

muh tau r kewl!!

>> No.25655360

>>25655352

I am?

>> No.25655361

>>25655328
>Was that before or after they decided to Invite a Necron Fleet for a tea party?
To be perfectly fair, that totally worked for the Blood Angels. The Necron Lord the tau bothered must've just woken up on the wrong side of the tomb.

>> No.25655370

>>25655341
>They never once thought they killed a Chaos God
Yeah, they did. It was in either their first codex or a white dwarf that came out at around the same time.
One Tau Commander bragged about how he personally killed Slaanesh, believing the leader of a Chaos Warband to be the being in question.

It illustrates their inability to see the bigger picture in the galaxy.

>>25655345
I guess a Newcron teaparty might work at that...

>>25655348
>I just said I could see where fanfic guy was coming from
Yes, he went with one out of the countless endgame scenarios that have been discussed over the years.
I can understand hypotherical musing on it.
But 100+ chapters...?
Jesus, kid needs a hobby.

>>25655361
lol, point.

>>25655359
What are you getting at here...?

>> No.25655372

>>25655359
Oh god, so much stupid I can't see straight anymore

>> No.25655376

>>25655215
Yeah, it's also in shadow.

It's pretty much the Imperium's attempt at rationalising some form of super ork to make their propaganda work better.

Waaagh! Ghazghkull was one of the two most dangerous Ork Waaagh!s the Imperium's faced, and it did reveal a lot of details about the Orks, although the idea that the tellyportas were invented by him is unfortunately for the Imperium, not true, since later investigation shows that it's impossible.

>> No.25655379

>>25655359
forgot, ethereals are powered by the void dragon who made a device to make the nids go back to where they came from, the golden throne is actually draining big emps made by the mechanicus cult who are corrupted by the void dragon

>> No.25655384

>>25655372
>thinking 40k made sense in the first place
your in the wrong hobby son, flames of war is that way

>> No.25655385

Are the Eldar white?

>> No.25655397

>>25655370
>One Tau Commander bragged about how he personally killed Slaanesh, believing the leader of a Chaos Warband to be the being in question.
Read what I literally just fucking posted, dipshit. They never once thought they killed a Chaos God, they just thought Slannesh was normal, run of the mill human name and the name of the Warband leader since those crazy fucks kept shouting it for some reason.

It is a nice illustration of just how big of a pond the little fish that is the Tau Empire is in, but at least get your facts straight you little shit.

>> No.25655400

>>25655385
They've got a decent range of skin tones. Dark Eldar tend to be pale, because of their enviroment.

>> No.25655403

>>25655384
Are you even reading this drivel?

>> No.25655404

>>25655370
>I can understand hypotherical musing on it.
Yeah thats all I was saying. I in no way am advocating the writing or reading of baf, long winded fanfiction.

>> No.25655407

>>25655400
Dark Eldar surgically modify themselves to look however they want. Some have tails and wings because they think its fun.

>> No.25655410

>>25655397
Dude, chill the fuck out. The Tau are retards who don't get the big picture, ok? Can we at least agree on that?
>>25655404
Gotcha.
Personally if I was to have time to write 100 Chapters of 50K, it would be all about the fragile alliance between Gentlemen Orks and the Dappernids.

>> No.25655413

>>25655397
In his defense, it is a misconception that needs to die.

>> No.25655415

>>25655359
>>25655379
So it's all written by some Necron/Tau fanboy who doesn't care how hard he rapes the universe?

>> No.25655423

>>25655407
True, a few Craftworlders also do that when visiting webway cities.

>> No.25655424

>>25655400
Are they weaboo?

>> No.25655427

>>25655359
>>25655379
Wait, these are all plot elements of the 50K TauFic...?
Wow.
That shit really is "Ash Buttfucks Pikachu" Tier.

Or Goku Meets Anne Frank Tier.

>> No.25655428

>>25655410
>Gentlemen Orks and the Dappernids.
>implying Orks arent the mastas of More Dappa.

>> No.25655433

>>25655427
I thought it was just some guy trying to shitpost a strawman about how dumb the average tau fan is, but it could be that.

>> No.25655439

>>25655370

>newcron tea party

You've gotta admit it would be amazing to watch

>Necrons land on T'au
>Water caste diplomats waiting
>"Greetings good sir I am.."
>Zahndrek cuts him off and delivers an eight hour speech
>Finishes by welcoming them back to the Necrontyr empire
>Before they know whats happening the Tau Empire are vassals of the Sautekh dynasty
>Oberyon just watches with quiet resignation over the fact that his boss is a loon
>"Do not fear, you no longer have to use this primative homemade technology"
>Zahndrek says as he looks over their riptides
>Tau gain Necron tech as part of the 'reformed Empire'
>Zahndrek leads his reformed brethren onto a glorious campaign for the Necrontyr!

>> No.25655440

>>25653829
Kroot defecate through their skin. It's an oily, pungent substance that can mask their body heat. They can also see into the infrared spectrum.

>> No.25655442

>>25655424
Noooot so much. Craftworlder design incorporates Japanese ideas, but also a lot of egyptian and other mediterrainian stuff.

>> No.25655446

>>25655071
>Thraka. Without question, Ghazghull Thraka.
The Beast was the toughest, ya git.

Well, the toughest known to humans anyway.

>> No.25655452

>>25655415
Havn't even finished it yet but it has a lot of readers on warseer. Suposedly he is still writing. Its more about humanities last raging hard on more than tau/necrons loving.

>> No.25655457

>>25655440
Aren't the kroot supposed to have developed super tech then thrown it away to be shit eating savages?

>> No.25655461

>>25655428
That's what the fragile alliance is about. They both have a respect for the other, but the unspoken argument is that one is far more dapper than the other. Their battles mostly consist of meeting up in elaborate tea cermonies, each side waiting for the other to make a fau-pas.

"Aha! You slurped, and spilled a millitre of tea on your saucer!! Let's get this going then, Marquis of Quensbury, you cad!"

>>25655446
>Was
He can't be that tough if we're talking about him in the past tense.

>>25655452
>it has a lot of readers on warseer
A mark against it if I ever saw one.

>> No.25655468

>>25655461
>He can't be that tough if we're talking about him in the past tense.
He had the biggest waagh and was killed at the expense of a LOT of space marines

>> No.25655478

>>25655457
I always saw it more as them being scavengers. The Kroot Warsphere for example, I'm pretty sure is just tech they stole.
>>25655468
>Was killed
See, not that tough was he?
Thraka's still kickin.

>> No.25655484

>>25655468
>literally his entire fluff measured up in one sentence
Heh.

>> No.25655486

>>25654372
Legio Titanicus? I believe you mean the Collegia Titanica, boyo.

>> No.25655492

>>25655442
Like what kind of Mediterranean/Egyptian stuff?

I'm actually fairly interested

>> No.25655499

>>25655457
I think it's more along the lines of the kroot being just another predator species on their planet, 'til a bunch of explorers came along and one of them got eaten by a kroot, which helped other kroot eat other explorers until they were all dead and there was suddenly a bunch of intelligent kroot, who managed to reverse-engineer the alien spacecraft.

>> No.25655513

>>25655492
I can't speak for the mediteranean beyond generic greco-roman helmet plumes, but the Egyptian stuff should be pretty obvious. All their shenanigans involving treatment of the dead, their pantheon of gods, etc.

Actually, now I think on it, I too would like to hear more about this topic.

>> No.25655517

I haven't checked on this thread in CLOSE to two hours since I left it around the time I was understanding what WAAAGH! is. And it's still standing!
You fuckers make me proud. Holy shit.

>> No.25655523

If a tribe of kroot just ate themselves, would they regress to an earlier evolutionary level as their adapted traits got weeded out?

>> No.25655535

>>25655523
They are masters of their genetics. They chose what goes on and what does not.

>> No.25655558

>>25654679
> Super-tough
> One point above average toughness bonus
> Not starting the game with at least 50 toughness
> Not increasing toughness like a motherfucker
> Assuming 'medieval weaponry' also means 'medieval armour'

Man, you suck.

Not that there's any reason ever not to play a space marine in BC.

>> No.25655568

>>25655440
So...they sweat poop and piss?

Are you sure this isn't a southPark parody or something?

>> No.25655572

>>25655535
To a certain extent, but unwanted shit slips by otherwise kroothounds wouldn't exist

>> No.25655582

>>25655492
Icanography mostly. Eye of Isha, their statuarry (such as the icon that comes with their dire avengers).
The old wave serpent is designed to resemble a phoencian ship.
Their chief god is named after the Asurya.


Of course a lot of the names are based on celtic names.

>> No.25655583

>>25655568
It may well be. You have to remember that 40K isn't supposed to be taken super seriously. At least, that's how it used to be.

>> No.25655607

>>25655568
It's justified that they have such a super-efficient digestive system that only this thick sweat is left (they also hack up larger undigestibles the way owls do).

>> No.25655610

Whats the deal with the hive mind have they ever disclosed what that is? Why are blood angels not a corrupt legion?

>> No.25655615

>>25655484
>>25655478
I don't think you quite get how much damage The Beast did before he was taken down.

The space marines (not a chapter, all of them) were crippled as a force for centuries after that waagh.
It was a clusterfuck on par with the shitstorm that formed the Sisters of Battle.

>> No.25655624

>>25654082
Ahahahahaha

>> No.25655634

>>25654442
It used to be able to.
Ors used to be able to make bullets come out of painted bits of wood if they thought they were guns.

As of 6th edition it's pretty much just probability altering, because of quantum mechanics however, if enough orks believe, then anything can still happen

>> No.25655636

>>25655615
>Sisters of battle
>shit storm
So, the grey knights had a collective mind orgasm?

>> No.25655641

>>25655568

Kroot are avian so they have a liquid poo like pidgeons and biards.

They also have penises on their palms.

>> No.25655645

>>25655610
>Whats the deal with the hive mind have they ever disclosed what that is?
It's a mysterious force that may or may not be under the controll of some mysterious greater power in a mysterious galaxy far away.
It's a mystery.

>Why are blood angels not a corrupt legion?
Because their primarch was the prettiest princess and the most badass mutherfucker at the same time.

>> No.25655647

>>25655634
Got a source for that first bit?

>> No.25655655

>>25655634
Always thought orkz were warp spawn, not demons. But children of the warp to think things and it happens.

>> No.25655664

>>25655636
>So, the grey knights had a collective mind orgasm?
I'm talking about the Age of Apostasy which was a galaxy-spanning event, not the Bloodtide which was just one fight against one heretical army.

>> No.25655668

>>25655655
They're clearly not, since they were genetically engineered by the old ones

>> No.25655677

>>25655645
>deep strike mishaps across horus's armor
Because setting yourself on fire, screaming with the voice of a thousand angels charging at the warp gods champion tends to make a bad first impression on the warp when using it to transverse distances.

>> No.25655683

>>25655664
>heretical army
>not virus that will kill everything ever
What about that one time the space wolves shot down a sisters ship and raped them?

>> No.25655701

>>25655683
>What about that one time the space wolves shot down a sisters ship and raped them?
Well, Space Wolves were always dickbags. Less so as the legion gets older, but still dickbags. With furry undertones.

>> No.25655703

>>25654266
40k fluff is both at the same time real and propaganda.

>> No.25655710

>>25655683
I need a citation for this. Like, right about now.

>> No.25655727

>>25655710
I think he's confused. I know the Spess Yiffs pulled that shit on some Inquisitors who wanted a sample of their Gene-Sperm.

>> No.25655754

>>25655641
I'M SORRY...

Can you repeat that last part?
It's almost 6am and I don't think I read it right.

>> No.25655770

Is it true SM's don't have dicks? I heard this somewheres I can't remember where/when.
I can see how it would help them on the battlefield, but you know...damn

>> No.25655784

>>25655770
Nope, they're never stated to be lacking penises. It may be that they're sterile, since none of them have any kids, or that their extreme brainwashing just makes it impossible for them to get it up to anything but heretic slaughter

>> No.25655786

>>25655770
Not really.
They get hypnotized into not using their dicks, but standard doctrine doesn't include castration.

What individual chapters decide to do with their initiation rituals is another matter.

>> No.25655812

>>25655784
>since none of them have any kids
Salamanders. Though how many of them have kids AFTER being made a marine is debatable.

>> No.25655819

>>25655784
>>25655786
How are they brainwashed? I mean...they still have testosterone in their system. Something has to give in.
Does one just wake up from stasis with a several year morning wood and get scared of it? I mean, if none of them know what sex is...what happens when one DOES get a boner?

I'm 110% serious with this question and I realize weird fanfics will have answers.
I'm just so confused as to how they thought this was a good idea. Is it because lust leads to men doing stupid shit?

>> No.25655824

>>25655812
I thought the salamanders liked to adopt

>> No.25655851

>>25655786
>>25655819

They don't get hypnotized they simply don't give a shit about sex.

Some chapters like Minotaurs do literal mental conditioning though since the only way to quickly churn out marines with absolute loyalty is to brainwash them instead of raising them from youth in the chapter for decades.

>> No.25655854

>>25655819
It's not really a simple matter.

By becoming a space marine, a man is turned into a weapon. In the process, the man is consumed and lost in the psycho indoctrinations and surgeries. What comes out is a manifestation of the Emperor's fury, purpose-built out of man, flesh, machine, faith and bone to deliver his Wrath.

Sex just kindof gets lost along the way.

>> No.25655871

>>25655824
No, they go back to the families they already had before being "marined". Or perhaps they adopt a family. I'm sure it varies. Much like their skin tone depending on who's painting them...

>>25655819
Well, it's not so much brainwashing as it is breaking open their psyche and rewriting it. The shit we do to brainwash someone is nothng compared to what a marine endures. Many who would survive the physical process don't survive the mental process.

>if none of them know what sex is...what happens when one DOES get a boner?
They pray to the emperor to make it go away, but the prayer itself is a a kind of mental exercise to help them control bloodflow.

>I'm just so confused as to how they thought this was a good idea.
Pent up agression.
I think.
why did they think calling the precious liquid that makes more marines "genesperm" was a good idea...?

>>25655851
>They don't get hypnotized
yes, they do. Though this being 40k they call it "Psychoindoctrination"

>> No.25655888

>>25655871
So they basically want a qt3.14 wife to cuddle and kids to spoil?

The salamanders are supposed to be the most 'human' space marines, right?

>> No.25655892

>>25655819
>Is it because lust leads to men doing stupid shit?
Yes


http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Daemonette#.UcrKL9jfJvA

>> No.25655905

>>25655888
I think the idea of it when Vulcan used that idea for his chapter/legion, was that it helped keep the Salamanders in touch with the people they protect. Rather than pulling a Guilleman and ruling over them like a mini-empire.

>> No.25655929

>>25655871
The brainwashing varies by chapter. All of them use a lot of hypnotic training to teach them to use inhuman abilities, like spitting acid and learning by eating brains.

Games Workshop has never really said much about marines and sex. Some authors have had them capable of the act, some fluff suggest they aren't, with the normal being that they are disciplined and focused and too busy for love, making the question if they are neutered or not moot.

Chaos Space Marines are, by cannon, capable of sex, but that could just be LOL WARP.

>> No.25655931

>>25654564
>a Waaagh is one half migration, one half religious war, one half pub crawl.

150% percent is roight orky dere, but its could use another one half choppa and another one half dakka.

>> No.25655941

>>25654600
Soooo snakebite klan orks?

>> No.25655956

>>25655941
Nobody needz all dis dakka

Fink of da runtz dyin every day in indeskriminate shootins

Ban kombi shootas now

>> No.25656025

Can someone explain in a short and sweet way what the Horus Heresy is? I see it mentioned alot through these wiki's but there is never a link which is odd.

Wasn't it something like. the Emperor had two sons and one betrayed him?

>> No.25656073

>>25656025
The emperor had loads of 'sons' which were gene altered clones of himself meant to lead the space marines - the primarchs.

One of them, Horus was a real daddys boy who got corrupted by chaos and started a civil war that tore the imperium apart, killed most of the marines, most of the primarchs and put the emperor into a deathlike state, which is what lead them to put him on eternal life support.

It's basically why everything is fucked.

http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Horus_heresy#.UcrP1tjfJvA

>> No.25656080

>>25654442
Orks have a psychic gestalt akin to greasing the wheels of a machine. Ork tech all works (just not safely or reliably),but Iit all worworks BETTER for orks, and not just because they're more familiar with it.

>> No.25656082

>>25656025
The Emperor made test tube cloned mega-babies on the moon, Chaos Happend and the mega babies got scattered over space and possibly time. Two were MIA forever :(

Empy goes to find his mega-babies, who are now all grown up and all kinds of fucked up in the head. One thinks he's Batman, one might be two people, one's a bit sick, one was a blone fag with wings etc. One of his Mega Babies was awesome though, the empy liked him best of all, his name was Horus.

Empy made Horus the man in charge of all his armies, and then fucked off back to earth for a bit. Chaos used it's evil powers of evil to make Horus, you guessed it, Evil.

Meanwhile, the Mega Babies had become Mega-Daddies to all the Space marines. When Horus went Evil, he took half the Mega Daddies and their Space Marine kids with him to go an fight teh Emperlord on Earth.

SHIT GOT WILD.

Then at the end of it all, The Emperor killed Horus but was hurt so bad they had to put him on Golden Life Support. Many of the Mega Daddies got lost, or dead, and the Bad Guy Marines who sided with Horus went back to psychic space hell to plot their revenge.

Teh edn.

>> No.25656098

>>25656082
Oh yeah, the reason they got mad was that empy cancelled his crusade to sit in a basement and build a magic space chair intended to let everyone teleport but for some reason didn't tell ANYONE that he was doing this

>> No.25656121

>>25656082

Also Iron Warriors are the most sympathetic legion

>> No.25656129

>>25656098
And if you try and call him when he's working? Oh boy are you in trouble...

"Yo Dad, Dad, Horus is doing some wild shit!!"
"I told you not to call me Magnus, especially not with Magic!!!"
"But Daaaaaad!!"
"FUCK OFF!!"

And so Magnus joined Horus cause Emperor-Daddy made him mad.

>> No.25656133

>>25656121
They troll almost as hard as Alpha Legion

>> No.25656155

>>25656133

They do.

Their Iron Cage was just beautiful

>> No.25656162

>>25656129
>And so Magnus joined Horus cause Emperor-Daddy made him mad.
To be fair, there was more than that, but yeah.

>>25656133
Fucking Honsou.

>> No.25656176

>>25656162
Well, yes.
But there was also considerably more to the Horus Heresy than this >>25656082

But I did want to boil it down to key points... And use the term "Mega-Babies"

>> No.25656188

>>25656121
"Building is so boring, I wish I could be out slaying heretics"
"Shut up Peturabo, you're the best at building, now get on with those fortresses"
In sidles in Rogal Dorn
"Sweet building there bro, shame it's nowhere near as good as my defences around Terra"
"Fuck you, it's not like I'm having fun here"
"Your homeworld is under attack, but you can't go save it until you're done building fortresses"

And that's when they decided to devote all their time to blowing shit up

>> No.25656191

>>25656082
leik dis if yuu crie erry tiem

That was beautiful. Much better than "that guy".
Psssssh he even gave a link to source it.
>loser >>25656073

>> No.25656224

>>25656188
Ha! Neeeeeerd

>> No.25656227

>>25656188

Gotta love 'em

But..I always thought Peturabo loved building and designing? its just that he was the best at tearing buildings down and his legion never got any credit for the gruelling warfare they engaged in and were then being split up to garrison worlds?

>> No.25656251

>>25656227
He was really good at building stuff, just like an autismal kid but took way more joy in tearing it down.

None of the other kids wanted to play with him because he acted weird, so they stuck him in the corner and told him to play with his blocks.

>> No.25656268

>>25656251

Still feel bad for the guy.

Hell I feel bad for a lot of the traitor primarchs, its the fault of assholes like Guilliman and Dorn that they turned

>> No.25656271

>>25654583
That is some streight up Dorf Fortress artifact shit, including nob(le)s wanting expensive and useless things.

>> No.25656279

Just reread about the corruption of Horus by Lorgar.

Supposedly he realised at the start that the guy giving him the trippy visions was an imposter but still decided the shit he was being shown was true.

How thick would you even have to be to do that?

>> No.25656304

>>25656279
"I am the mystic ghost of some chucklefuck, your dad plans to kill you all and become a god"

"Seems legit lol"

>> No.25656337

>>25656279
This is your brain on chaos.jpg

Horus got smacked by a demon sword that and then spent a while recovering in a heretical warrior lodge. All that stuff messed up his mind.

>> No.25656362

>>25656337
So, using their Evil powers of Evil, the Evil forces of Chaos made Horus Evil?

>> No.25656367

>>25656362
Sounds about right.

>> No.25656420

>>25656367
Why that's... Evil

>> No.25657422

And another promising 40k thread ruined by space morons.

>>
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