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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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[ERROR] No.25094673 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

>Final sessions of the campaign
>Sacrifices must be made
>One or a couple of us must hold the line and fight against an undead army so the rest and the villagers can escape through a portal
>Me and another guy decide to be those brave men (and a couple of suicidal npcs)
>DM says "Well, you pretty much are going to die, so I'll just skip this part and..."
>Us "Why?"
>DM "Sorry?"
>Me "Why you skip it?, let us fight, if our fate is sealed, well, nothing much to do there, but I want to roll a few more before leaving the campaign..."
>Rest "Yeah, after all it doesn't matter, right?"
>DM "Well, it would be time wasted but... as you wish"
>2 and a half hours later
>We survived, using every kind of strategy we could make, and using any obstacle in the fortress in our benefit
>We didn't defeat the army, but we hold it until every body was safe and then we escaped
>DM is clearly upset, looking in his papers if he can do anything

Had you any story like this /tg/?

>> No.25094708

>>25094673
Ugh, that GM.

How much of a dick do you have to be to not even give your players the chance to die heroically, fighting with teeth and nails?

>> No.25094786

>>25094708
he did though. He had shit priorities at first but let the fun of the group come first, even though he didnt seem to get a very obvious source of fun.

And even though it shat on his preperation which he seems to hold too rigidly, he let it pass and didnt throw a deus ex machina bullshit

>> No.25094825

>...but I wanted them to die
Fuck GMs that try to make stuff conform to their internal narrative

>> No.25094847

>>25094673
End of campaign probably doesn't matter but that's a great story in character for your characters to pass around.

>> No.25094920

Happened in Jade Regent. DM threw a Linnorm at us in Book 3 because he knew my Paladin would be obligated to hold it off in the cave. Hell, he put a convenient "unstable ice block" in the tunnel for my dude to break and seal off the tunnel, separating the group from the threat.

I took the bait, gave a stoic "it's better this way" speech and a "the things I do for love" one-liner to my love interest, and caused the block to crash before facing the enemy...

... Although he didn't account for the fact there were multiple tunnels in the cave. After getting some crazy rolls and being completely lame and running, my dude was able to get out of the ice cave and start barreling down the side of the mountain. At this point the DM probably wanted my guy to live, since he had ANOTHER Linnorm show up out of nowhere, essentially go, "This is my fuckin' turf ya git" and had it start fighting the other Linnorm.

Needless to say, this Paladin had more than a hero's welcome when he returned.

>> No.25095049

That's pretty cool.

>> No.25095124

>>25094920

Tell me you snowboarded down the side of the mountain on ice-debris.

Lie to me, if you must.

>> No.25095234

>>25094920
Nice
Also
>the things I do for love
It was wincest?

>> No.25095273

>>25095234
wat?

>> No.25095277

I was DMing a planescape campaign. The group was looking for the avatar of bahamut in a red dragons nest. Most of the dragons were already killed by bahamt himself, so they just had to be careful to stay in the areas hes already cleared. I decided now would be a good a time as any for one of my "save or get royally fucked" rolls, so there was a cave in caused by bahamut's fighting. it was a pretty low DC to get out but the fighter rolled a 1 so he fell and got stuck in another part of the cave. Here he found a juvenile red dragon. He was about lvl 8 at this point. He knew he was screwed so he just stood and fought it.

first breath knocked him from about 80 to 20 health, he got lucky. He had about 8 potions of healing on him so he started drinking one each turn in between swings.
The dice were with him that day. He survived, he slayed the dragon, finishing it off with a critical hit which I said cleaved it's head clean off. Bahamut found him sitting on the corpse of the dragon, and was so impressed that he made him one of his champions.

>> No.25095278

>>25095124

Do boots count? In retrospect I could've used a sheet of ice or my shield for the job, but I was more concerned with getting back alive.

>>25095234

Nah, I chose the Rescued by Koya route. Although I DID model my Paladin after Jaime (light green eyes, golden hair, total hunk, etc.) The love interest was Ameiko, which made the entire thing awkward considering this would've been the *second* time she had a lover get totally eviscerated by a limbless lizard.

>> No.25095346

>>25095273

"The things I do for love" is from Jaime Lannister, who was in the middle of porking his sister when he said it.

Said incest could also theoretically occur if you chose the "Sibling" route for either Shalelu, Sandru and Ameiko.

>> No.25095449

>>25095346
No it isnt you tit
Its a reference to a 10cc song, and it was a saying in its own right long before that

>> No.25095481

>>25094673
Very cool. Well done. I like hearing about exploits like these.

As a movie trope, it's the "we thought you died!"/sudden reappearance/cloaked benefactor sort of thing. Lots of possibilities. I salute you.

Tits.

>> No.25095491

>>25094825
That IS a trap, as a longtime GM, I confess. Internal narratives help drive our inspiration for the story, BUT we MUST remain flexible, otherwise there is no player agency.

>> No.25095507

>>25094708
Ugh, that Player.
You do two hours of mega battle crunching because your PC's want it, and then some douche wants to bitch about how you weren't enthusiastic about it.

Go fuck youself.

>> No.25095531

>>25095481
>As a movie trope, it's the "we thought you died!"/sudden reappearance/cloaked benefactor sort of thing. Lots of possibilities. I salute you.

It's even better when you're character had taken on the role of Party Mentor.

Since, you know, the Mentor always dies (temporarily) in a proper Hero's Journey.

>> No.25095547

>>25095346
"The things I do for love" is old.

Jaime is using it as a quote, and a note of exasperation.

>> No.25095624

>>25095346
>"The things I do for love" is from Jaime Lannister
No it's not.

>> No.25095673

>>25095507
Did you actually read OP's post at all?
It's not about enthusiasm, it's about putting a leash on your players and making decisions without allowing them to try their luck.
It's basically the same as railroading - You force your decisions upon them in order to satisfy your own concept of how the story should progress instead of reaching a consensus.

>> No.25095728

2 hours seem very excessive on both the DM and participating players. Personally I would have taken a nap if the battle was going to last that long.

>> No.25095741

He should have used a bigger and more well armed army that also had stronger dudes.

When you kill a party, use Overkill. Everytime.

>> No.25095763

>>25094786
>>25094786
Thats the tell sign of a good DM. Party does something displeasing but not story breaking, you just go with it.

>> No.25095793

>>25095673
>>25095673
Nobits isnt.

Fuck off.

>> No.25095799

>>25095673
Did you read OP's post? The DM buckled down, sat through the grind, and the PC's pulled it off.

Now he's looking through his notes because he's not sure where to go from here.

DM's are people too anon. You should be nicer to someone that agreed to do an unfun activity for hours because it made his friends happy.

>> No.25095857

>>25095673
>same as railroading

...

>DM decided it would speed shit up
>PC say NO
>DM is like uh ok
>PC get what want
>DM still goes along with it
>PC angry face because DM disappointed things didn't go way he wanted

>> No.25095910

>>25095857
>PC
>Not PCs
For what I read on OP's post, every body seemed ok letting those two guys fight their "last battle"

>>25095799
Also, I understand that the DM were looking at his notes if he could do anything to kill those PCs.

Could be wrong though

>> No.25095935

>>25095857
Well, to be fair, OP PC says his DM is a good guy. Good on you OP.

That other random guy is a dick.

>>25095910
Always assume the best of a DM. They are a rare, endangered creature, and must be nurtured and supported. People like you make DM's like me sick.

>> No.25095981

>>25094673
Why would your DM be upset that you hadn't died?

Unless he wanted his game to end with heroic sacrifice but, really, emerging victorious against impossible odds is just as good an ending.

>> No.25096091

I don't know about your DM's but I get excited when my players come up with creative solutions to a problem I presented them. Then again I always had a knack for getting back on my track.

>> No.25096096

This was a wrap up for a module we were playing, but I had fun the whole way. I played Krod, the half orc rogue... with a flail. Because in pathfinder, just about any weapon can get sneak attack damage. Krod is over 7 feet tall and speaks in the third person whenever he thinks someone is watching (Said to the Paladin: "Krod suggest you look other way while he shopping"). He wasn't dumb, but people never expect the idiot to be running a crime ring.

Krod was a good stealth guy, but he shined in intimidation (+13 at lvl 3). This made for great moments as the game went on. The first time he was sneaking around, I fumbled his stealth roll. I looked at the GM, "Krod rears up and screams at the top of his lungs, 'YOU NO SEE KROD!'". I critted the roll. According to the GM, I stunned all the goblins there except for one who immediately went back to doing what he was doing previously and desperately tried to pretend I was not there.

That was Krod. One of his quotes was, "Only two things see Krod: dead things and things that know better than to admit it."

So at the end of a module, my group is breaking up a local cult and we get caught in the middle of the leadership while trying to steal incrimenating documents. So we fight and against all odds defeat the leadership and their "Mask" golem (it helped when Krodd kneecapped it with a "sneak attack" with his two handed flail). Krod's standing over the cult leader and the guy give his BBEG last words.

BBEG: I should have known you were unbelievers from the start!
K: *Shrugs* Krod always consider self militant agnostic. Krod not really know what to believe. *Hefts Flail* And he is VERY FRUSTRATED WITH THAT!

CRUNCH. Good old Krod.

>> No.25096247

>>25096096
This is so awesome I have no words.

>> No.25096345

>>25095981
The DM was upset that they made him run two hours of mega battle crunch, when he would rather they had just left.

Have you ever run an endless mega battle? It's mind numbing. For a DM, they are the definition of unfun. DM's who plan for PC's the face these are inexperienced. DM's who get dragged into these because of world events and PC choices are just annoyed,

It would have been a favor to the DM if the PC's had just nodded and gone 'okay, we're dead'.

This is an unrealistic expectation to place on PC's, but I can understand why a DM would be annoyed. Now that the battle is over, he's somewhat adrift, going through his notes, wondering what's going to happen to his world now.

>> No.25096424

>>25096345
>DM's
>PC's
>Dungeon Master his
>Player Character his
stop it. stop it. You an everyone else who does this. I've let it slide once because the person who did it argued it was a typo but you do this on purpose. It's wrong and I am stopping you now before you do it again.

You massive cunt.

>> No.25096495

>>25096424
>being this inexperienced
>coming to uneducated assumptions
>having the nerve to actually insult someone else
First day out of /v/, sperg?

>> No.25096516

>>25096424
Listen here, cuntwaggle.

It's a stylistic compromise use because "PCs" and "DMs" looks just plain cruddy.

Everyone knows what it means, everyone is familiar with the kind of shit they're trying to pull and why.

You're they only one with skin this thin.

>> No.25096541

>>25096424
Uwotm8

What are you getting upset about?
>Capcha: About neyneral

>> No.25096542

>>25096424
... How do you propose to stop me?

>> No.25096552

>>25096096
Saved.

>> No.25096583

>>25096345
>>25096424 (This is Mr. Angry.)
>>25096495
>>25096516
>>25096541
>>25096542


Also, before the angry one cries samefag...

>> No.25096585

>>25096541
U avin' a giggle m8?

u pissin' on my parade?

u shittin' in my sandwich?

u flappin' my jack?

>> No.25096594

>>25096424

>I am stopping you now before you do it again.

You're not stopping anything. You're just some random jerkoff on the internet. You can't DO anything toughguy.

I'm not even >>25096345, you just sound like an ass

>> No.25096616

>>25096583

>> No.25096655

>>25096247

Benedict Cumberbatch in a manga?

I've seen everything...

>> No.25096659

I've had a few campaigns head to that final stand of hellfire and death. All of my GM's have been cool enough to always let us roll it out if we wanted to. A few times we even walked away with the win. Had this one time in Rifts that really stuck with me. We had to hold off this evil army from Nxla, from corrupting a second Millennium Tree, the only to ever grow in North America, I know i know they're not supposed to but whatever. GM was like 'Well...you are all probably fucked, don't worry your next chars will get some cool shit for this' and we all decided to just say fuck it and roll it all out. Three 14 hour sessions later half of us are still alive, damn near dead. Our gm was just kind of shocked, he through literally everything he could find at us and we just kept on going, bit by bit we managed to win. Now when I'm running a game I'll let a player roll out their final stand because hell it's fun for me as a GM, they know they're going die, I want to see what tricks they've been holding in reserve and it allows me to stop holding back for a change.

>> No.25096682

>>25096585

>> No.25096748

>roomate wants to gm for once
>he usually throws his fetishes into his characters but doesnt gm
>watch him stare at evil guy books all night long before the session writing things down
>he designs a mindflayer monk that is supposed to be a big boss battle
>tells us to roll level 15 characters
>LOL 15?! ok, dumbshit
>oh guy rolls a ogre with a portable hole on his chest that is permanently enlarged with an enchantment so hes collosal sized and uses a ++sized scythe with some other enchantments and feats to use it
>everyone else makes some pretty decent balanced characters
>doesnt matter, he sit in the edge of the portable hole and have the ogre drive us around
>cruises past the whole campaign, get to the "boss", ogre throws scythe, crits
>mindflayer monk dies from massive damage
>gm throws his hands in the air and we go god hunting

>> No.25096757

I think the DM should've killed them. None of this "they're doing really well, oh no they've killed my army." If you want your army to be intimidating, a force you need to sacrifice people to get away from, then make it near impossible to win. Kill them in a badass way, but for god sakes kill them. Pull a boromir, they fight a ton of enemies in a cool fight but eventually there's too many, they get shot by a ton of arrows, die of a thousand cuts, that sort of thing.

But this is only if the whole sacrifice thing was the player's idea or at least their fault. If you force them into the dramatic stand against an army thing then you're a dick for killing them so easily.

>> No.25096785

>>25096757
I think the DM did do that. Notice that they didn't win, they held the enemy off, then cut and ran.

>> No.25096832

>>25094825
This.
This so much.

It's quite hard to avoid, even for experienced GMs. As both a player and a GM, I've been on both sides of this.


An example of what OP is talking about:
>AD&D
>Be Bard (so like, a druid, but I can steal shit and attack like a fighter)
>Get railroaded into defending this town we care nothing about from some retarded siege
>DM is forcing us to play Legend of Dragoon: Railroad Engineer Edition, by the way (he stole literally everything about his shit campaign from it)
>So, we all know we're going to die
>We have 3 days before the army arrives (somehow)
>Get clerics to raise army of undead (like 200 each day. We had a fuckton of NPC clerics)
>I go out to the forest and befriend 4 bears (Paul, John, Ringo and George), who then follow me, because lol Bards.
>Get wolves to help us
>We build a moat, start digging out safeplaces to sleep
>Fortify the shit out of this town
>GM didn't expect us to do this, thought we'd just run with the villagers
>2 hours of planning from party Wizards and Clerics to set up some magic chant thing that will empower our party spellcasters to like 8th level (or something. I think we were very close to summoning an angel. It was all very retarded)
>DM annoyed by this
>I'm not doing anything
>Get an idea
>Check rules, yeah, Cure Disease is reversable
>Tell party I'm going to use biological warfare against the enemy
>Cast Locate Animal: rats
>DM: "You find no rats."
>Wat
>"Dude, it's a Medieval town. There are fucking rats."
>Nope, no rats.
>Wh-what?
>DM proceeded to have his 3 DMPCs go do some retarded shit
>We eventually won, despite DM's plot armour'd enemy leaders with literally no tactical sense
>Also, our clerics animated a catapult, which we taught how to love.

The game is over now; DM decided the game sucked, and is now making us play one that "totally isn't stolen from a video game", even though it sounds like the exact same thing (yet somehow more retarded).
The Group won't kick him out though.

>> No.25096837

>>25096424
http://afterdeadline.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/04/13/faqs-on-style/

You give grammar nazis a bad name, you miserable sack of shit.

>> No.25096878

>>25096837
>But do not use apostrophes for plurals of abbreviations without periods, or for plurals formed from figures: TVs, PCs, DVDs; 1990s, 747s, size 7s.

>> No.25096883

>>25096837
Not to be a bozo, because I think he's a clownshoes too, but did you even read that?

>> No.25096909

>>25096096
I am now playing Krod.

This is awesome. Good on you, son.

>> No.25096939

>>25096878
The point isn't to ape the Times rules, the point is that different forums adopt different stylistic choices. The NY Times has theirs, /tg/ likes to put an apostrophe after PC and DM. If only because we are all obviously highschool girls pretending to be grown men.

>> No.25096974

>>25096939
>we are all obviously highschool girls pretending to be grown men
>implying

>> No.25097003

>>25096883
Only enough of it to make an ass of myself.

>> No.25097017

>>25097003
On second thought, let's go with:
>>25096939
That's way better than what I was saying.

>> No.25097050

>>25096939
>If only because we are all obviously highschool girls pretending to be grown men.

SHHHHH
YOU'LL GIVE US AWAY!

>> No.25097169

>>25095763

That's not the sign of a good DM. That's the sign of an alright DM.

>> No.25097186

similar story except it went awesomely
>Playing cthulhutech
>my character is a short, constantly drunk, irish engel pilot (basically semibiological mecha)
>party gets recruited by the Eldritch Society (anti-lovecraftian-horror terrorists) to become tagers (shapeshift into lovecraftian horrors to fight other lovecraftian horrorrs)
>This is happening as a giant fleet of enemies are attacking the base we're at
>my character is like "no way. I have a deep emotional connection to my mech, that's sorta how this thing works" and joins the defense of the base
>kills like a zillion enemy mechs before finally dying
>roll a new character
>meets rest of party as they're at a bar drinking to my first character's memory

>> No.25097323

I think this thread is the best place to ask.

I am DMing for a while in D&D. Now I am planning a major battle, and I am afraid of all these numbers and dice and arithmetics and discussions.

Is there any good RPG system I could use to quick and easily simulate the battle? Bonus points if it offers the players options to do stuff in person beyond ordering squads around.

>> No.25097350

>>25097169
Considering how full /tg/ is of stories to the contrary, I think it's safe to say that an alright GM is a good start at being a good one.

Going off of personal experience, DM's who fit this 'alright' description only consist of me, and one guy who I've met through a friend. The half dozen other GM's have all had their petty hangups in the past.

1/4 being alright means alright is above average, which means they're good.

>> No.25097377

>>25097323
Paranoia that is, roll dice where they don't see them and make everything up

>> No.25097384

>>25097323
I avoid it like the plague. If it comes up I roll for mass units and abstract the results.

But, other people have done stuff.
http://olddungeonmaster.wordpress.com/2012/12/30/dd-wars-mass-combat-rules/

This guy uses Risk
http://rpg.stackexchange.com/questions/432/combat-rules-for-large-battles

>> No.25097425

>>25097169
Good, Alright, Whatever.

More DM's need to learn it is the agreed upon message.

>> No.25097435

>>25097323

ORE's company rules allow for combat between organizations, one form of which is outright battle. It also includes rules for PCs to assist such battles with their skills. It's more meant for long-scale battles of influence and conquest as opposed to a single conflict, though.

>> No.25097476

>>25095935
>Always assume the best of a DM.
No good, I've known too many DMs

>> No.25097512

>>25096832
I enjoyed your story, even the catapult part.

>> No.25097575

>>25097476
Cheeky little Player.

>> No.25097594

>>25097350

Well, sure DMing is full of dipshits, but playing FOR your players is the very first step for doing your "job".

You may cannot know the rules, you may cannot know how to balance encounters, you may suck at building the world, but if you play for the enjoyment of your group, you can still pull off a good game.

But if you play against your players, to crush them with your NPCs and such, you can be the author of the world-acclaimed system, you can play each one of your character with different voices and quirks, you can be the best at everything, and your players will still hate your guts.

So, opposing the PC but giving them a fair chance for their ideas and daring deeds is the bare minimum to DM.
That qualifies you as alright.

World building, story-weaving, rule-mastery, THOSE make you good.

>> No.25097609

>>25096832
>no rats
shouldve asked him for mice, squirrels, flying foxes and bats

I like your group though

>> No.25097631

>>25097384
Those links look pretty great.

>>25097435
I will look into it, but I don't know if it isn't a bit too large-scale.

>>25097377
That's Plan B.

>> No.25097675

>>25097594
And what I'm saying is that an alright GM is a good GM, because being an alright GM is the prereq for having a good game.

What you describe is a great GM.

GM's need more love, if only because they so rarely get it from their players. After all, for every dipshit GM, there's about 8 times as many dipshit players.

>> No.25097855

Something similar, yes. A city was being besieged by a fey army. Figther told the others that they should run away and try to get help from the nearby settlements. Squidperson and Bard disagreed and rushed into the town because "they couldn't let this happen.". The figther, unable to leave them alone, told the rogue to ride to the nearest town to get reinforcements ,while he helped the other two. Bard got oneshotted by a treant at the gates, Squidperson tried grappling it and got tossed down, also one shotted. Figther started getting insane rolls when he was supposed to die and went berserk. Ended up killing everything in the town - Fey or not. It was kind of like an unexpected victory, right?

>> No.25097879

>>25094673

We accidentally destroyed the plane of Ravenloft.

>> No.25097893

>>25097879
>And nothing of value was lost

>> No.25097969

>>25097879
I believe this requires a story.
You may now proceed.

>> No.25097971

>>25097675

Alright, good, great, I think we're discussing semantics.
Don't get me wrong, I'm more than happy to have an "alright" DM.

Too bad it's me (i hope), or another guy in the dozen I met.
And I suck at doing DM homeworks.

Just now we're kinda trying Exalted, with me STing (who knows, maybe if we like 2nd, we'll buy 3rd), and every session is a psycho-nightmare from hell, for me.
Players seem to give good feedbacks, though, even if I stutter quite a lot through rules and narration details.

>> No.25097998

>>25097969

I archived it on suptg. Here's the link.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/19943938/

>> No.25098046

>>25097998
Thank you. I will be back in a while then.

>> No.25098120

>>25096583

No's, no's, no's... you's must's stop's using's those's apostrophe's or's else's.

>> No.25098198

>>25097169
Pray tell, what would a good GM do? What about a bad GM? How is running the story that the players want, even when it makes your job more difficult, the sign of mediocrity?

>> No.25098350

>>25096091

Absolutely, that's where a lot of the fun comes from. What's the point in having people sit around, listening to the DM tell a story without any influence over what happens?

>> No.25098598

>>25096096
Oh Krod had a lot of fun in a short set of campaigns. At one point, Krod is hanging with his group as we travel by river. When the GM notes we are passing another boat, he asked us where we were. I said Krod was in the Crow's nest.
GM: The boat is too small, there is no crow's nest.
Me: ...he built one.
GM: He can't build a crow's nest.
Me: I haven't chosen a craft skill yet. "Krod is carpenter in free time. He enjoy working with hands in way that doesn't require he put down tarp."
GM: *Sigh* you have no tools.
Me: Krod glares at some spare planks and they know better than to not be a crow's nest. I roll to intimidate the wood!
GM: ...roll it.

Krod now has the craft skill: Angry Carpenter.

>> No.25098655

>>25098598
>roll to intimidate the wood
Beautiful

>> No.25098821

>>25097512
Yeah, the catapult was funny.
We realized that the spell would only last like 10 minutes, so we figured that the catapult must be having some sort of existential dilemma.
So then we did the correct thing and turned it into one of the characters from Beauty and the Beast.

>>25097609
I tried. It was pretty dumb.
I was THIS close to stopping the whole adventure and having our party investigate why there were absolutely no vermin to be found.

My DM is the worst part of the group.

>> No.25098878

>>25097323
For anything not related to the PCs, just reduce it.
Eg, you have 200 archers on the wall shooting at 300 invaders.
>Reduce
You have 2 archers shooting at 3 invaders.

You have 400 Infantry and 100 Cavalry rushing out to meet the 800 Imperial Warriors.
>Reduce
Now it's 4 Infantrymen and 1 Horse Rider fighting 8 Imperial Warriors.

Run these sorts of things before hand, but keep a basic log of what happens and how long it takes. 1 Round = 5 Minutes or so. If the PC's do something to muck it up (like summoning a dragon right where the Infantry/Horseman v. Warriors fight is going down) recalcuate quickly for that.

>> No.25098889

>>25098598
You are a god among carpenters, sir.

>> No.25098945

>>25097969
The important part was that we were the chosen ones who were to defeat the great evil threatening all of creation.
After destroying Ravenloft the Elders declared us unchosen. They would leave saving all of creation to someone else.

>> No.25099035

>>25098598
Still, one of my favorite moments was when I had to ad lib a distraction. The group had infiltrated the earlier mentioned cult and were being processed. Our mage wanted to sneak off to check on some enchantment or another and I volunteered to keep their attention. The GM smirks and says, "Okay, what do you do."

Me: Krod tells an entertaining story to distract the Acolytes.
GM: Okay... tell me a story. No roll. Tell me the story.

Challenge accepted.

Me: Okay, Krod gets them talking about themselves and eventually says "Krod had lots of jobs before coming here: Bouncer, bodyguard, gigolo, city guard"
GM: Gigolo?
Me: *Nods* "Yup, Krod was kept man for noble lady. She get off on Krod not being fancy. Krod had to quit though."
GM: One of the acolytes says, "Why did you quit?"
Me: "Fancy pants suitor get mad at Krod for taking his woman. Challenge Krod to duel. Then Krod kill him."
GM: "And she kicked you out?"
Me: "No, Nobel Lady get off on that too. Police get real mad though."
GM: "But duels are legal."
Me: "Yes, but only if you kill man during the duel."
GM: "...you killed him outside of the duel?"
Me: "Fancy Pants tell Krod to choose weapon! Krod choose surprise!"

>> No.25099067

>>25098878
Reducing is a fantastic method, but when magic get involved it gets a little confusing. A single mage could take down droves of enemies, but is only useful for as long as his spells last. Even a (relatively) low level fireball, you'll be hitting at least 8 enemies.

>> No.25099115

>>25099067
Divide the damage by however much you divide the armies by.

>> No.25099134

Well, as DM's, we fashion and believe ourselves storytellers to a degree. So, we try to make the story, within reason,dramatic and powerful and we like to have things happen on occasion that would be dramatic.

If you DO happen to be in one of those situations, it's not like the DM cant just make it happen.

Remember, if the DM wanted you dead, your character WOULD be dead. It's as simple as rolling behind the screen, and say stuff like "You get critically hit..."...or "You get hit by disintegrate".

A situation is never outside the DM's hands.
Only a bad dm is ever truly caught of guard? Killed the BBEG? WRONG, you killed his simulacrum! And that was just part of his planned that he wanted to happen ALL ALONG!

FFS, man.You're dm's. Stop letting players think they somehow got the upper hand on omnipotence.

>> No.25099137

>>25094673
>DM is upset that some players managed to survive an impossible situation with quick wits and sheer balls
>Not being gleeful to see how it turned out

Tell your DM to fuck himself for me.

>> No.25099168

>>25099035
I...I nearly pissed myself.

KEEP GOING!

>> No.25099178

>>25099067
This is why you shouldn't let spellcasters into your game.

>> No.25099221

>>25099168
>>25099035
seconding this, and humbly requesting MOAR.

>> No.25099269

>>25099178
Yeah....Spellcasters are fucking crazy in Wars.
What you do is summon monsters and try to get shit that lasts for long while, lots of extended and rituals with creatures that last for 24 hours.

I once DM'd a war and underestimated my players, the 14th level Wizard they had had a fucking LEGION and tons of ongoing, insane effects ready for war thanks to trinkets, spell descriptions and other shit that was while low in power to him, exellent at fucking up low tier units in droves.

Wizards and mages are scary in wars.
It's not the fireball.
It's the Summoned Monsters and mass area fear effects and other crazy shit that worries me.It's the charm person and dominated lieutenant that now is his slave.

>> No.25099299

>>25099269
Damn, why did I pick Paladin in my DM's upcoming civil war campaign?

>> No.25099303

>>25096424
But you're supposed to use an apostrophe for a possessive s!

>> No.25099325

>>25099137
>DM is annoyed that PC's chose to play out two house of number crunching
>Has a headache afterwards.

Fuck you too buddy.

>> No.25099334

>>25095624
You, I like you.

>> No.25099336

>>25095624
myafricanamericanbretheren.jpg

>> No.25099338

>>25099035
>Krod choose surprise!

>> No.25099367

Actually, this just happened about an hour ago.

We were playing Changeling: The Lost. My character was intended to be the social manipulator. She's a Beast; to be more exact, she's a seductive catgirl. She's not a bad fighter (since her base attacks do lethal, she can actually do some serious damage with her claws). She ended up going into the Summer Court, and even though she has few Contract spells (concentrated on getting her attributes and regular skills shit up), she has maximum Summer Mantle, which makes her pretty awesome in combat.

Well, now that I gave that explanation...
>solo session with just my character
>character working at a modeling studio (she's sexy as fuck; it seemed like a good idea)
>her coworker is obviously a vampire but doesn't seem to know the character knows
>end up revealing it because another character (our hammer-loli bronze elemental) has a vampire teacher we confronted; she knows the coworker vamp
>coworker has been trying to get my character to go to a club we know is a vampire hotspot
>talk her into going somewhere else; she gives the address and says to meet her after work
>go there; realize the café is in a basement
>AMBUSH CENTRAL (never trust vamps)
>use one of my basic Contracts to talk to a nearby cat and ask if anyone has gone inside recently
>he says a bunch of shady dudes in suits just went in
>totallynotlegit.png
>decide to leave; run into coworker
>tell her a lie about my mother or something and leave
>see her being dragged into car in my rearview
>FUCK
>Summer courtiers don't back down from a fight when someone's in trouble!
>chase this car through the streets; fail to run it off road
>chase them to a park
>realize I can't take on bunch of vampires; call the cops and tell them someone's been kidnapped and taken to the park
>try to sneak in; run into vampire
>quick fight sequence
>realize I am severely outmatched and book it
>he doesn't give chase
>go into alley, scrounge around for pipe, cloth, and string

>> No.25099370

>>25099035

>> No.25099403

>>25099367
>tie the cloth to the pipe with metal wire
>jam it into gas tank
>use a piece of paper and car cig lighter to light the torch
>hold the torch out the window and slowly drive into park
>find two vampires
>run over one; leave car on top of him as I jump out and threaten the other
>he runs away (vampires are fucking terrified of fire because it messes them up)
>get back into car and follow him (backing over the vamp under my car before running over him again), holding my torch out the window and not caring about putting it out
>find the others and my coworker, who is being held hostage
>re-light the fucking torch
>jump out and threaten the vampires with something like "Release the girl, you bloodsucking bastards, or I'll light you like fucking cigarettes!"
>my Summer Mantle, which I'm pretty sure vampires can at least somewhat sense due to being magical, is raging like the fucking Sun itself because of how hard I am channeling the spirit of the Court
>set ground next to me on fire (it's Autumn and fallen leaves are dry)
>they shit their pants and run
>bring her to my apartment to explain this to the rest of our crew and await next session

>> No.25099424

>>25099299
Well, you probably wanted to be that heroic, stalwart hero of the people that's remembered in song, beloved by the people.

Mages, no matter how great, powerful and helpful...tend to be disliked, persecuted and hated, and at most you would get respected and feared for your power.

It's hard to not be afraid of a single man, who with a few days or hours of preparation, is ready to take on an entire army...and probably win....as you and your men die under the feet of ancient monsters and creatures you've never seen before, with ongoing magical effects that panic, fear and cause your men to shatter like ice being hit by a hammer.All the while a single figure stands there amongst the fire and death, walking slowly, staff in hand...glowing eyes... raising your men, your friends...now as slaves to his power.

If you survive that,and tell it to your mates? It's hard to not know fear .

>> No.25099461

>>25099403
To be fair, the GM took it pretty well that I didn't walk into his ambush and then took on a foe he didn't intend for me to face. He actually thought it was awesome and tested to see if the vampires would be terrified of me instead of fighting.

They were.

I know it's not the best story, but it's all I got for now.

>> No.25099495

>>25099424
>Dat imagery

I wanted to play a Lawful Good character without him turning out like a Nazi. I also wanted to see if I could go the whole campaign without killing anyone. Fuck yeah non-lethal damage!

Is it bad that my Paladin is going to Sam Vimes?

>> No.25099502

>>25099367
>not playing a Fairest Draconic/Hunterheart catboy

Do you even Changeling?

>> No.25099547

>>25099502
Hunterheart catgirl is fine enough. Especially considering that in the session right when we escaped to the human world, I knocked out a guard who found us by trying to seduce him. He lost consciousness and had a mild stroke. We called the medics and he was okay, though.

Moral of that story: don't seduce old men.

>> No.25099591

How about a story of hilarious failure?

>Playing a GURPS post apocalypse game
>We're in the fortress of some bandit king in the company of some guys who claim the fort should belong to them
>There's supposed to be a duel the next day, we stay overnight and attend a banquet
>We came to the place to find and kill some scientist who's experimenting with psionics and stuff, and he attends the dinner too
>Our spy tries to slip him a knockout drug by spreading some on a piece of bread and getting him to eat it
>The plan is to knock him out, then inject him with a nanotoxin that the guy who hired us gave to us
>The guy does eat it, and he passes out briefly, then wakes up again as some medical bracelet injects him with a stimulant
>Spy gets impatient and says he's going to ask if the scientist feels well, then rub some of the knockout drug on his hands and smear it on the guy's forehead pretending to check him for fever
>He rubs the stuff on his hands and passes out almost instantly
>Party fighter guy says "fuck this" and grabs the syringe with the toxin, standing up in a room full of people and stabbing this scientist with it
>The scientist's assistant stands up and pulls a gun on us
>I happened to be carrying a kilo of thermite I had prepared, I announce I'm going to rip open the bag and throw it on the assistant
>Fail my roll to throw, miss and only get a tiny bit of thermite dust on him
>I pull out a cigarette lighter and get Zimbabwe drilled in the chest
>Drop the lighter, the thermite ignites (I know a lighter wouldn't actually be enough, but whatever) and sets the assistant's pants on fire
>Total confusion, I'm almost dead and the spy is still unconscious
>The one party member still standing grabs both of us and runs out of the room while people are panicking
>We're not sure the guy we injected with the syringe is really dead yet

On the plus side, I got to say a pretty decent one-liner. "Let's turn this dinner into a roast."

>> No.25099599

>>25099495
It's really hard to play a DnD game and not kill anyone. Usually, the problem is how do you deal with the DARK LORD or other motherfuckers in court?

I mean, let's say you defeat him in open battle, and since everyone humors you, you bring him back to civilization for judgement. But, the Dark Lord is allowed to take the stand. He speaks, and with a whirlwind of oratory, outrageous lies that cannot be proven untruth otherwise, masterful manipulation and a story that would make the most taciturn dwarf shed a single tear...

Is spared the death penalty, or even set free.

And as he walks away, the Dark Lord nods at you, the slightest, imperceptibly small smile on his face.

>> No.25099608

>>25099325
Maybe I'm strange for wanting to see stuff like that happen to my players.

>> No.25099653

>>25099599
In a world with actual divine intervention and where 'detect evil' is a thing, I wouldn't be worried about people being brought to justice in front of a court of paladins

>> No.25099671

>>25099599
And that's when I tackle him and dunk his head in the outhouse until he confesses.

I mean, uh, what?

Find evidence.
Plan for this kinda shit.
Also, punch him a lot.

Besides, my DM is retarded and makes us fight Gods and shit that are always 1 dimensionally evil. There ain't no chance of this happening.

>> No.25099714

>>25099608
It's not about wanting to see it or not, it's about the burgeoning mechanical nature of the conflict. Sure, you could just wave your hands, freeform it, and say how it should go.... except, then the players will feel cheated.

I sincerely hope they bought that man a beer, for truly, he bore the burden of the DM that day.

>> No.25099740

>>25096345
>Have you ever run an endless mega battle? It's mind numbing. For a DM, they are the definition of unfun.

>Handwaving player death
>More fun than running an awesome tactical battle for your players
It's time to hang up the shield, you have no business being a GM.

>> No.25099772

>>25099653
The Dark Lord would ask for a jury of his peers to be assembled, not a biased assembly of Paladins or Oracles, and naturally ask for any magical evidence to be removed from the case as it is easily manipulable and forged,which he can easily prove with his own power.

It would be very, very easy for a Dark Lord to win in court.Unless the DM just makes him some evilftw crazy asswipe.

A few hours of oratory, masterful manipulation and imposing his will upon the people, and he will have them eating out of his hand.

The Paladins will eventually grow angry with the courts, try to overturn the legally mandated veridict by the democratic courts, and manipulate the people into believing the Paladins are trying to usurp power, and establish a mandatory lawful state where everyone lives in some mad commnist diaspora where only the Paladins have the power.

A few months later, he's leading a peasant uprising againts the Paladins, and they either lose their Paladin powers by slaying innocents, or they flee. Either way, he is returned to power, and everything worked out...just as planned.

>> No.25099787

>>25099461
Good story

>> No.25099788

>>25099502
Why do you mention catboys in every single thread?
I approve, you're doing gods work. Keep posting spank material.

>> No.25099790

>>25099714
It was cool of him to let them actually play through all that combat.

The thing I took issue with was how it implied he looked through his notes for a way to kill them off. Unless I'm misinterpreting what the OP's post meant, that's mega lame.

>> No.25099803

>>25099714
You whiny cunt if you're going to bitch every time you have to do your fucking job either stop GMing or change the fucking system, Jesus.

>> No.25099838

>>25099740
Sure, just take the five players and Evil Psychic Hate off my hands. Show me how it's done.

>> No.25099869

>>25099370
>>25099338
>>25099221
>>25099168
Okay, but I only have one or two left and I'm not sure I can top the duel...

The group has collected some increminating evidence and returned to town. They've spent the last two weeks going through cult boot camp. And now they're in a bar...

While the leader finds the police chief, we order food and Krod finds a whench and proceeds to whoo her in the third person. One of our group, a cat girl type thing is approached by a waitress who proceeds to pull from her sleeve a live rat, much to the joy of the catgirl.

CG: I love the service here!
Me: "Krod respect service, but worry for kitchen."

The leader comes back and tells us we need more evidence. We have to sneak back into the cult compound before we are found missing. The group isn't thrilled, especially Krod.

Me: *Lip quiver* "But...But Krod have whench! Krod cannot leave whench!"
Leader: "You got twenty minutes."
Me: Krod looks offended. "Krod many things, but Krod gentleman. He need more time than that."
Leader: "You got twenty minutes."
Me: ... Krod roles to intimidate the time space continu-
GM: No he doesn't!
CG: You could roll to intimidate her to finish quicker!
Me: "Krod never bring work to bedroom. He treat whench like the beautiful flower she is when Krod beds her."
GM: She thanks you for that.
Me: "Shut up whench! Krod talking!"
Leader: *Sigh* "Forty minutes."
Me: Krod rolls for acrobatics!
GM: Like hell!
Me: BOOM, nat 20.
GM: God dammit.

>> No.25099881

>>25099772
>This is how I campaigns


GM would have to be a real dick to punish a player for sparing someone's life in character.

>> No.25099888

>>25099790
It's got that implication in in it, but OP didn't state that, and in subsequent posts called his DM a cool dude.

I think he was just looking at his notes because he literally didn't know where to go from there.

>> No.25099897

>>25096345
>Have you ever run an endless mega battle? It's mind numbing. For a DM, they are the definition of unfun.

Go back to your play by post freeform RP.

>> No.25099905

>>25099790
Ok, yes, that is what the OP wrote. But think about that for a second. How does the OP know that the DM "looked through his notes for a way to kill them off?" Do you think the DM said "hold on a minute while I figure out how to kill you?" Do you think the DM pulled out a small paperback volume labeled "How to Kill PCs and Alienate People?" Or do you think the DM looked at his notes, with a hint of a frown, and the OP just decided to make up what he was thinking for the sake of this post? It pays to look at the source, and remember that the OP is probably not a telepath.

>> No.25099950

>>25099787
Thanks. I'm not really cut out for the social character thing. I excel at kicking ass and being a combat guy. I was fucking awesome as the squad Sergeant in our Only War game for that reason, but we decided to shake things up with Changeling. Also the first time I played a female, which seems to have resulted in me flashing my tits every time I need something done.

>> No.25099965

>>25099869
> Krod rolls for acrobatics!

Perfect. You win.

That whole story was great.

>> No.25100006

>>25099881
Can you tell I did that in a campaign?
Yeah, I did once, exactly what I described.
It's why I told that guy it's really hard to be a non-violent/non-killing character.

People forget that villains, characters and other bad guys have sometimes centuries of experience and more connections and abilities and skills than they think they have.They are not 'defeated' until they are DEAD, and even then, they might not so easily lie.

Even IF they are not capable of using their magical powers? They have their cunning, their wit, their decades if not centuries of experience and knowledge, and if you place them in a situation where they MIGHT have a chance for survival or even triumph?

You better fucking believe a well roleplayed evil villain will rise, and perhaps even become more powerful than he ever was before, and even a better leader and tyrant than he ever was!

You fight him with swords and steel, now he will fight you for people's hearts and minds...and the hearts and minds of people are so easy to bend...and they quickly learn to kneel before their betters.

Man, that campaign was fun. Too bad it ended abruptly.

>> No.25100065

>>25096096
Oh fuck you that's great

>> No.25100068

>>25099897
>hey guys I have an opinion different from yours
>hey guys sometimes I think the GM should be appreciated
>"HURR BLURR I HATE YOU GO BE A FREEFORMER GURR BLURR BLAAHHHHHH"

>> No.25100107

>>25100068
We get it, you only enjoy GMing when things are going your way.

>> No.25100128

>>25100107
>implying things I never said

Enjoy putting words in mouths? It's about the only thing you'll ever stick in a mouth, isn't it?

>> No.25100135

Unfortunately, Mega Battle Crunches are NEEDED.
Why?

Because as a DM, you can only create a scenario and make assumptions. You create the rules of what's happening and why, but you're cheating if you're adapting the scenario to bend to whatever narrative you had in mind- and REALLY cheating if that scenario was already challenging, and now just want to railroad.

The problem is that as a DM you DONT know what a player might do to survive an encounter.You can have ideas, you can make assumptions, but one clever idea that didnt come to you, one simple ploy or clever combination of spells, skills and trinkets you forgot he had later, and that challenging scenario or near-impossible scenario is now another legendary feat under that character's belt.

That's why you NEED to do that crunch.
To find out if that inspiration comes. Who knows if the tide can be turned? Numbers sometimes mean nothing in the right conditions...and magic can make the impossible seem acheivable.

>> No.25100154

>>25099881
Are you kidding? That's not punishment! That's a brilliant moral dilemma for the paladin, if a bit of a played out trope.

>> No.25100194

>>25100154
B-b-but muh powah fantasy...

>> No.25100210

>>25100154
I've never seen a story where the Dark Lord is defeated, arrested, then manages to get himself out of danger by using rousing oratory, quick wit and inspiring levels of competence in manipulating people's hearts and minds...

And then over time turns the table on those who defeated him, by uniting the very same people who claimed him as tyrant and warmonger as hero and liberator.

>> No.25100291

>>25100068
There's saying GM's should be appreciated, and then there's making broad generalizations about what I, AS A GM, FIND ENTERTAINING.

Fuck you, I would LEAP at the chance to give my players an epic final showdown and see them beat impossible odds.

>> No.25100387

>>25100210
Lex Luthor did that. He even ran for president and won.

>> No.25100420

>>25100291
Nah, man. I'm not even the original dude.

What I'm saying is that I find it annoying how one person expresses his take on the matter and is met with such hostility. What the fuck are we, /v/?

>> No.25100539

>>25100420
My post here >>25099897, I didn't intend that with hostility so much as disdain, so thanks for putting words in my mouth.

>> No.25100569

>>25100210
The problem I see with it is that in a medieval fantasy setting secured rights, democracy, and fair trials are all very rare things. My autism always flares up when I see somebody made a setting with swords, sorcery, and complex political thought. The ideas inherent in the social contracts of modern societies are very recent things, with the oldest dating to the 17th century. I simply find it hard to believe that a society has surpassed Voltaire but can make no inroads in architecture or medical care.

>> No.25100592

>>25096659
I can't help it. I see his eyes looking in different directions. They look like goddam googly eyes.

>> No.25100633

>>25100569
That is kind of right.
Old school law and order was someone bringing you before the bailiff or lord of the land and he decided if you got your head chopped off.

I dont tend to run my medieval fantasy THAT old school and low fantasy.

I like it high fantasy with slight...SLIGHT levels of steampunkish flavor. Just a dab....like a spice.

>> No.25100638

>>25100592
CANNOT UNSEE
I R RIDUCK KILLER SUPREME

>> No.25100659

>>25099869
I haven't been signing my name like an idiot. Ah well. Here's Krods last story.

Krod had a merry time at the cult. The first time Krod talks out of line the GM says "Your instructor bops you in the head saying 'No talking!':
Me: Krod very slowly turns and glares a hole in the man. "Bop...Krod...Again..." I roll intimidation.
19 + 13 = 32 for intimidation. Krod is lvl 3 at the time.
GM: ...He never makes eye contact with you again.

Ahh, but Krod was not always so lucky. At one point, he's elected to map out the compound and sneak to the top floor in disguise. He gets up the stairs and a pair of magic doors stops him.
GM: The doors are twelve feet high and engraved with scenes of decadence in many forms from orgies to feasts.
Me: "Krod is struggling to remember why he is against this holy place."

Problem: Krod kind of forgot to put a lot of points in pick lock. He's average at best. And he rolls shit. He gets frustrated after getting hit with an ice blast twice in the face.
Me: "Stupid enchanted portway. Why you taunt Krod?"
GM: The silver doors do not reply.
Me: Wait... the doors are made of Silver?
CG: They're silver plated right?
GM: The Module just says silver.
Me: ... okay, Krod rolls to pocket the doors.
GM: No.
Me: I'm not leaving without these.
GM: How are you going to hide twelve foot doors?
Me: Krod's wearing robes and he has a skill for holdout or whatever.
GM: NO.
Me: Krod rolls Angry Carpenter on the doors!
GM: They're made of Silver, Angry Carpenter only intimidate's wood.
Me: Damn. That's true. Well, I can't get them open. We'll settle this later.

So Krod leaves dejected but not beaten. Multiple sessions later, we clear out the leadership of the cult and the group knows we're done. The GM is moving and this is a nice stopping point. As we're cleaning up the bodies, I remember those accursed doors.

Me: Hey *Wizard* I need your help. Help disenchant the doors. We're stealing these.
GM: You won't let this go will you?

>> No.25100701

>>25100659
Me: No. "Krod never leave job half done, whenches half loved, or stuff half stollen. It matter of pride at this point!"
CG: "And gambling debts!"
Me: Krod nods "That too".
GM: Fine, but you get those doors on a nat 20 and you get them past the guards in town on the same.

You know, I don't recall the name of the class that gives himself and teammates luck bonus, but with his help and a poorly worded module, well, Krod retired a happy Orc.

And that’s the story of good old Krod.

>> No.25100731

>>25100659
>GM: The doors are twelve feet high and engraved with scenes of decadence in many forms from orgies to feasts.
>Me: "Krod is struggling to remember why he is against this holy place."

>Me: ... okay, Krod rolls to pocket the doors.

>> No.25100836

The question is: could Magic Hitler really orate himself out of a war court?

>> No.25100844

>>25099591
You win a prize. Well done.

>> No.25100898

>>25099035
That made me laugh. Good on you, sir.

>> No.25100963

>>25100539
>disdain
Ooh, now someone's too GOOD for everyone else? Just leave.

>> No.25100966

>>25099591
>Zimbabwe drill

>> No.25100991

>>25100963
>guy making sweeping generalizations

Deal with it.

>> No.25100993

>>25100659
I love you.

Can we get more screen caps of Krod?

>> No.25101057

>>25100701
Yup.

Krod is my next character. This is going to be so fun.

You're hilarious, sir.
Can we have more stories, even if they aren't about Krod?

>> No.25101098

>>25099869
>She thanks you
>Shut up wench!

I lost it

>> No.25101152

>>25099869
>Me: ... Krod roles to intimidate the time space continu-
>GM: No he doesn't!
Oh god, I lost it so hard here.

>> No.25101686

>>25096096
>>25098598
>>25099035
>>25099869
>>25100659
>>25100701
Screencap for future hilarity.

>> No.25101835

>>25101686
Hey thanks! I feel like a dick copying my own stuff.

>> No.25101908

>>25099599
>implying games of DnD will inexplicably have settings where the legal system follows ideals that weren't present in the real world until the Enlightenment

What.

>> No.25101931

>>25099772
>given the right to a jury of his peers
>rules for the admittance of evidence
>allowing the accused to take the stand

Well, I'm glad to see that your campaigns all have the American legal system.

>> No.25101957

>>25101835
As you should. Never screencap your own shit. It looks bad, and you look like a douche saying "HEY LOOK AT ME I MADE A FUNNY POST NOW LAUGH AT IT!!1!"
I swear, anytime I come across someone like that, I want to slap their shit. Don't screencap your own shit; let others indicate it's funny enough to be worth screencapping.

>> No.25101979

>>25100006
You're a dickbag.

>> No.25101981

>>25095624
mah nigga

>> No.25102030

He seriously didn't give you the final stand? I mean, you gotta be joking, we all know how it ends but it gives you a chance to kick some ass. Pic related is something that happened to my only war players and they made it out alive, through fucklucky rolls and a lot of burned fatepoints mind you.

>> No.25102040

>>25102030
*pic related

>> No.25102109

>>25101957
Yeah, that's why I don't do it.

>> No.25102197

>>25102109
And that's a very good thing.
Stay cool, man.

>> No.25102201

>DMing a DH game.
>Players have tracked and hounded a Psyker of Tzeench into the depths of a Hive World.
>Players have tracked him to a dive-bar in the lowest levels of the hive.
>Describe the numerous twists and creatures that inhabit the bar.
>One player passes a Forbidden Lore test, realizes a majority of the women working the bar as whores are actually Deamonettes.
>The Cleric immediately hucks a grenade at the stage where an unnaturally attractive woman is dancing.
>Huge fight breaks out.
>Five PCs vs. 8 Deamonettes and 5 bar patrons.
>Five rounds into the fight, the Cleric, Scum, Imperial Psyker, and Adept are dead/dying.
>Guardsman is still standing.
>He sees the cultist they were hunting down bolt down the stairs and run out the door.
>Tries to take a shot and misses.
>He goes down.
>They all burn a fate point and I say local police come in, break it and save them from death.
>They wake up in a prison cell, now being shaken down for assaulting a bar.
>Group proceeds to say I'm railroading them and it was an unfair fight.
>Me: "Yeah, cause I forced you to throw the grenade in the bar where you knew there were a minimum of 6 deamonettes as well as criminals."
>mfw the group implodes and starts screaming at the cleric.

>> No.25102397

>>25102201
You should've just flubbed some rolls.

>> No.25102403

>>25102040
>no biotitans
0/10 would not be killed by

>> No.25102496

>>25102397
I don't believe in letting players off the hook when they make stupid decisions. They had every chance to not get involved or attempt to stop the fight, but every round they continued to fire their weapons off.

Besides, they get fate points for a reason.

>> No.25102817

>>25102201
>be surrounded by daemonettes
>first instinct is to herp a grenade out of nowhere

You know, come to think of it, it's not actually that difficult to see why so few acolytes ever make Inquisitor. In fact, I sort of feel like the big =I= needs to step up its recruitment game.

>> No.25103027

>>25100539
distain is hostility for douchebags, proven fact

>> No.25103067

>>25103027
You're a pleb.

>> No.25103400

>>25100569
To be fair, there's no reason medicine needs to advance that much when you can have people point at a wound and heal it like it was never there.

>> No.25103680

>>25101931
One assumes that the comment was made by someone in America. Most Americans are American. Therefore, they are most familiar with the American legal system.

>> No.25103682

>>25102109
>>25102197
>TFW the only story of mine people have screencapped was my /d/ Quest Thread


Okay....

>> No.25103699

>>25100006
Man, I really wanna play this scenario out. See how it'd be addressed. Cool idea.

>> No.25103739

>>25100638
http://five.flash-gear.com/eye/eye.php?c=e&id=476648&k=9524453

>> No.25103980

>>25099035

>> No.25104047

played a children of gaia, guildmaster type named heart-of-gold

four horseman of the apocalypse come in sucession

won a bet with the sun to not look at the moon for a month by ripping out my eyes and not regenerating for a month

right after that before i started regenerating
we find fucking antichrist fetus gestating in a castle mega defended

use moonstone from our destroyed caern and sun stone (gift from the sun) as eyes to headbutt antichrist

i get obliterated but he dies too

sun so impressed that he remake me as a spirit of the sun and money: golden sun

become new caern totem, i had a good death

>> No.25104075

>>25096345

I'd say it depends on the DM.
My uncle has told me tales of converting the Pool of Radiance game into module format and he did the massive Kobold battle.
How long did this massive combat last? He says about a month. Did he enjoy himself? Yes; so as I said it depends on the GM.

>> No.25104157

I dont understand GMs like that. I'd flip my shit with joy if players managed to beat something that was unbeatable. That doesn't happen like...ever.

>> No.25104252

>Dming a 2nd edition game
>PC Fighter has 62 hit points
>Fighting a Mind Flayer Knight on top of a large tower
>Mind Flayer Knight telekenetically blasts him off the tower
>PC fighter takes 40ish damage from this fall
>Runs back up the tower, drinking healing potions along the way
>Mind Flayer telekenetically blasts him off the tower again
>37 damage this time
>Runs back up the tower again, drinking healing potions
>Repeat; 45 damage. Mind flayer mentally whispers to him "I could eat your brain human, do not disturb me in my important work, lest S'helthorath, That Which Lurks Below comes into our world and ends us all."
>PC fighter gets up to the top of the tower again and says "I am too tough for gravity!"
>Player gets shit eating grin and says "maximum falling damage is 60. I can't be stopped from stopping him!"
>Mind Flayer Knight beats him over the head with a plank for a round (lowering PC's health) and then blasts him off the tower again, finally incapacitating him.
>Player says "That's no fair."

>> No.25104311

>tfw you let a guy who doesn't DM because he sucks DM a game.
>tfw you try to ask a question in regard to the scene he describes after he stops read, then he starts reading again and tells you "i'm not done".
>He constantly just talks over the players instead of answering questions.
>Tells players "you wouldn't do that" when they attempt something he didn't expect.

John, I love ya man, but fuck. Getting tired of mistaking your five minute pauses as "I'm done with the description" moments.

>> No.25104352

>>25104252
In my RT group that I'm a Missionary in, the guy playing a Kroot was taunting the DM with his Hyper Gland ability that lets him get additional reactions in combination with Step Aside.

Then he bitched and moaned when he fought another kroot and it used the gland and Step Aside to get 3 dodges one round, saying its unfair if the DM does it.

>> No.25104410

>>25099599
Shouldn't he have just done that in the first place and forced all the PCs to be his henchmen?

>> No.25104447

>>25104311

Last session I had last week everyone had finished their character sheets and I was trying to set the scene. This is how it went down:

>"Ok guys lets start..."
>Players A and B start to talk about something
>Player C tells them to shut up; Anon's trying to set the scene.
>"...So, you've all gathered..."
>Player C and D start to talk about something.
>Player A tells them to shut up; Anon's trying to set the scene.
>"...the kingdom you're in..."
>All players bar one start talking about something; Player E just looks at me concerned. I look back at him, shrug and reread my notes until they quieten down. Finally.

This went on for half an hour; mind you they were talking about the current game, character background, and inter party relations (how they know each other) but man...
Maybe it had somethign to do with having to get up really early and bus it to the place on a cold morning (for Straya).

>> No.25104662

>>25104447
Oh god, I know this feel, so fucking badly.

Sometimes I take a smoke break. That usually gives them the hint.

>> No.25104772

>Always wants to run huge setpiece battles, like "Man the doors of the cathedral against a warforged horde" and "Fight off an army of goblins by directing the townsfolk"
>Always rolls for each piece individually
>20+ rolls on a d20 for minor warforged mooks
Every time
EVERY TIME

>> No.25104837

>>25104772
Shhhh, if you don't like it /tg/ will tell you to go play freeform.

>> No.25104887

>>25104772
My group instituted a groups rule for these situations.

Basically you group everything into similar units, and roll one die for all of them.

>Your Archers get to attack. Roll for them.
>The Enemy cavalry makes an attack. DM rolls.

Things go so much faster.

One DM I played RT with was demanding the players do a game of 40k Table Top to determine the outcome of a battle. We asked him what army we get and what are we against.
>You guys get a 1000pt Imperial Guard army.
>I get a 3000pt Ork army.
We noped so fucking hard.

>> No.25104919

>>25104837
If he wants to play a tabletop wargame, I'd be happier if he didn't take the six five-hour sessions the warforged fight took and the seven five-hour sessions the goblin fight took to do it.
Just go to the lgs and inflict that on the regulars there.

>> No.25104955

>>25104919
Hey, I agree with you. But as pointed out in this thread, apparently not wanting to roll for every tiny little goblin in a combat crunch means you 'hate fun' and shouldn't be a GM.

I don't get /tg/ somedays.

>> No.25105066

>>25104955
But /tg/ is the home of warhammer and other tabletop games about mass warfare?

>> No.25105096

>>25104919
>>25104955

Sorry guys just had to put the pic (to try and have a laugh).
There are mass battles rules out there that you can use to simulate battle rather then spend ages rolling each creature.
As I said here >>25104075; sometimes there's groups who'll enjoy a big-ass battle without using a different rules set for it; but I see no reason why a GM should force his players to do such a combat.
I'd also say the mass combat rules are for army-to-army battles - say the characters raise a militia and other similar. Pitting a single PC against a platoon from the mass battle rules is not that good.
Although, regular play can continue if there's a large army for the characters (in fact a few AD&D and OD&D modules had such battles).

>> No.25105229

>>25100006

Exactly. That's why you never, ever take the villain alive.

I mean, just check out Osama and Christopher Dorner. Letting them have a day in Court would be a joke. Just kill 'em, and save everyone the trouble.

It's like, no good would come of due process in those instances...And I say it as a lawyer.

>> No.25105261

>>25105229
>Exactly. That's why you never, ever take the villain alive.
In modern day. I'm sure you quite savvy with medieval equivalent law systems where nothing like anything he described would happen.

>> No.25105264

>>25105096
I'm just fuming a bit because someone told me to never be a GM when I said I felt bad for the DM of this party.

Clearly the case was closer to one man versus an army then it was actual mass combat. I've got alot of experience under my belt, and know how to make a meat grinder go quickly... but a new DM wouldn't. I've been there, and I know the guy probably had a headache afterwards.

Different folks stroke different yokes and all.

>> No.25105290

>>25105264

I'd be interested in a few pointers if you've got the time. I just don't see why people don't look towards the mass battle rules out there. Sure; a lot I've seen aren't for 3.x, 4e, or whatnot but at least it could help.

>> No.25105363

>>25105264
He is pretty new, but this is like, campaign four or five, and this happens at least three times a campaign.
We've told him to roll stuff as a group, or to go on averages, or to do any number of things, but every few months he just derps and throws 3872 orcs at us.
And I've only been around for the last three times.

>> No.25105365

>>25105261

Mediaeval law is as arbitary as hell, though.

>> No.25105399

>>25105365
Exactly, it's going to be whatever the person in charge wants to happen, not some rigid system that seems to be modeled after current day American or European Justice systems.

>> No.25105479

I'm going to DM a 3.5 group pretty soon and I feel like I'm setting myself up to fail. I have a lot of ideas about a very cool plot and things that I want the PCs to do, but I'm worried it'll feel forced.

Where do you guys start when you start a campaign? Do you just make a world and then come up with some problems? Do you start with a plot or some encounter ideas?

How do I get a party to want to complete a goal beyond getting loot?

>> No.25105484

>>25105363
Yeah, no, your guy is weird.

>>25105290
I'll put some stuff up.

>> No.25105568

>>25095793

You'd make a horrible DM.

>> No.25105664

My DM once had us preparing for about 6 months in game (2 sessions otp) for a mega battle with 20 to 1 odds. Then at the last minute turned it into a kaiju battle instead.

>> No.25105683

>>25105664
>>(2 sessions irl)
I really hate smartphones.

>> No.25105710

>>25099838
That... That can't be real. The picture, it's... It's got to be a fake. A RUSE, SIR, A RUSE!

PLEASE TELL ME, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, TELL ME THAT IS NOT A REAL PERSON'S REAL THOUGHTS

>> No.25105711

>>25105290
Alright, the important thing to realize is that with every roll of the die, you want it to matter. If you're just rolling because *things are happening* then you are, in fact, wasting your time, and your power as a DM.

The vast majority of combat, unless being directed by PC's, can be assumed, with a die roll every round or so to get an idea of general trend of the battle. You don't need individual rolls, this is not a war game.

So what's the scenario? Is a meat grinder pit? The threats within it should be treated as an environmental hazard. Player makes a reflex save, or roll against AC. If your number beats his number, whichever numbers you are using, give him some damage. The amount basically relates to how much focus he's drawing, and how much your number beat his number.

You don't need to roll for 20 longswords.... If he's plowing through lesser men, roll one attack, give a big bonus. If it beats his AC by 1? He gets hit by one sword. Beats him by five? Hell, two longswords. You should be able to get a feel for what is appropriate.

Is this a him vs. them thing? Again, you don't need to roll for each individual unit. Found out what his plans, decide what the enemies counters would be, and roll for general gist. Remember, the d20 is just a computing device to help randomize results, and the rules are just there to give you a frame. If his number is higher then your number, then he is beating the opposition. If your number is higher then his? He's losing. What exactly these mean all pertain to what he's facing, what he's doing, and what he wants to accomplish.

I use this same approach in smaller scale conflicts. Once I know that PC victory is assured, I might roll small bits of damage to dump on the PC's, and then declare them the victor. I don't need to know how many crits they would roll on the goblin that has nowhere to run. I don't want to spend fifteen minutes watching them beat to death some monster they have locked down through ingenuity.

>> No.25105743

>>25105711
The biggest point, and it bears repeating, is that the die should only be rolled when there's a solid reason. The die represents chance of failure, the die represents randomization. The die is not to be rolled for every fucking action from every fucking hobgoblin, unless the PC is personally engaged with every single one of them. Go with your gut, play for fun, and don't be a dick. That's how you have a good campaign.

>> No.25105866

>>25101686
Thank you. I was hoping someone would do that. I hav yet to figure out how to do it myself (bad with computers and new to 4chan).

>> No.25106005

>>25105683
I love how many times you must have typed OTP.

>> No.25106022

>>25106005
To be fair, they are close on a standard keyboard, even more so on the miniature cellphone ones

>> No.25106153

>>25099772
You, sir, just gave me a great idea about what to do with an entire faction in my up coming campaign. I salute you.

>> No.25106182

>>25106005
Yeah, I'm from /co/...it comes up quite a bit.

>> No.25106272

>>25105710
I'm sorry but, it is.

>> No.25106346

>>25105664
I ship those two sessions.

>> No.25106507

>>25103682
Post it, faggot.

>> No.25106876

>>25106507
It's got root beer futa, transgender transformation, straight shota, and robot maids.

Very NSFW.
Make a thread on /d/ or something, and I will post it for you there. I don't want to get this thread deleted.

>> No.25106965

>>25106876
Talking about that shit won't get you banned, but posting images related to them will.

>> No.25106969

>>25106876
>>root beer futa
That is an oddly specific fetish.

>> No.25107001

>>25106965
The screen cap has images in it.
>>25106969
It was a Choose your Own, they chose it.

Iguess this thread has run its course anyway.

>> No.25108050

>Had my DM once go and pull out every single 'enemy' npc to fight me, each NPC ment to solo-combat one of the other PC's
>Due to his homebrew stuff, I maintain and survive thanks to a small part of magic item bullshit and a large part of magic rules being removed bullshit
>Realize it's been 3 hours and I've succeeded in only scratching the boss, and he has only killed me twice out of 10 times I need to die.
>Simply succeed in a teleportation spell, and tell him I'm going to leave the fight here at that, running from impossible odds. He begrudgingly accepts after a short bit of reasoning.

A pretty bland way to end the campaign, but I was one of two who showed up for that end of a train wreak game, and I'm not sure if it was because of the time he scheduled it or how bad it got by then.

TL;DR though, he fully intended on me dieing. When I didn't he pulled out some bullshit characters to help. Then more when THAT failed. And I still got out alive.

Like your DM, I'm almost certain he derives more fun by killing and defeating players than seeing them succeed, the only time I see him get invested in our successes is if we are doing it in a comedic way. If your DM tries something like this and is looking annoyed OP, just succeed it by doing something either hilarious or stupid, and it will distract him from the pain he feels from you surviving.

>> No.25108076

>>25094786
>>25094708
Because this action forced the rest of the group to more or less just sit and wait for two and a half hours.

The gm should have said "There is no way to escape this, if you think there is, tell me and I will tell you why it is wrong."
"Now let me tell you how you died"
(Tells a story of heroism and a bloody death)

>> No.25108096

>>25094920
>"This is my fuckin' turf ya git"
I'm just picturing a linnorm saying that.

>> No.25108101

>>25108076
It depends really, his group very well may have wanted to see how it would turn out, I for one would have waited and watched the sheer craziness of it all at least, and according to OP they weren't against the idea. If they complained, then yes that would be a different story.

>> No.25108176

>>25097476
Would it help if I gave you my word as a spaniard?

>> No.25108226

>>25099067
Just assume that there are spellcasters supporting every unit.
Rendering them unimportant.

>> No.25110497

>>25099461
that was a cool story. Didn't know that vampires can sense your mantle. My pc is currently at 2 in Autumn, trying to increase it

>> No.25110756

>>25097998
That was great man

>> No.25111341

>>25096516
I'd also say that it helps establish that the "s" isn't a part of the acronym.

>> No.25111366

>>25111341
It's actually the only correct way to make an acronym possessive. It's not a contraction.

>> No.25111388

>>25111366
Possessive OR plural. You always add an apostrophe before an "s" added to the end of an acronym that is not actually a part of that acronym.

How are we this uneducated, /tg/?

>> No.25111455

>>25097594
>playing FOR your players is the very first step for doing your "job".
You are a shining example of everything wrong with the entitled dipshit players on /tg/.

>> No.25111458

>>25096655
really have you seen a man eat his own head?

>> No.25111503

>>25098598
>>25098655
I've never got why "players misuse skills to do retarded nonsensical shit" is always so well-received.

>> No.25111569

>>25095763
i stoped planing ahead months ago. now i just keep a list of people and towns the party have killed/razed

>> No.25111578

>>25095277
damn you're smooth

>> No.25111611

>>25098889
That's not really something to brag about. Look what happened to the other guy.

>> No.25111627

>>25094673
Why the fuck didn't all the PCs stay and send the NPCs to cart off the peasants? Then everyone would have been there to fight and you might have routed the army and everyone could be badasses.

>> No.25111664

>>25099803
>have to do your fucking job
Unless you're paying your DM, you can fuck right off.

>> No.25111686

>>25096832
> taught a catapult how to love
>DM still anally devastated
how can you still be mad after that?

>> No.25111715

>>25096832

Not going to lie, I would fucking love to play a campaign based off of LoD.

>> No.25111778

>>25108096

Dragons become immensely more amusing when you imagine them with cockney accents.

I figure Wyverns would sound Australian.

>> No.25111907

>>25099591
>Zimbabwe drilled
>in the chest
Good sir, you appear to have gone full retard.

It's call the Djibouti Shooty, and it's in the chest and the head.

>> No.25112458

>>25096757
>Kill them in a badass way, but for god sakes kill them. Pull a boromir, they fight a ton of enemies in a cool fight but eventually there's too many, they get shot by a ton of arrows, die of a thousand cuts, that sort of thing.
Boromir died because he succumbed to the lure of the Ring. It wasn't "badass", it was a classic tragic end.

There's nothing wrong with making a last stand against overwhelming odds and succeeding.

>> No.25112609

>>25108076
>"There is no way to escape this, if you think there is, tell me and I will tell you why it is wrong."
Wow that's kinda shitty right there, and probably would have resulted in OP complaining about his railroading GM.
A better statement would have been "I don't think there is a way out of this, if you can come up with a reasonable one, how about we abstract that so the rest of the table doesn't have to wait while we do a massive combat?"

But "lol no way out, and if you try to be creative you're wrong." is shitty GMing, even if you are fully justified in wanting to not run a big combat for just a fraction of your party.

>> No.25112760

>>25108076
In the GM vs. player arguments here on /tg/, I end up siding with the GM about three-quarters of the time, but I'd pitch a fit if a GM insisted on killing my character "off-screen" without even giving me the opportunity to play out the fight, if I wanted to. I understand not wanting to split up the party and make other people sit around and watch while I do shit, but we're talking about my character's life. A player has the right to "be there" at his character's death.

>> No.25113140

>>25111458
>mfw

>> No.25113212

>>25112609
That is what I meant, as well.
I didn't mean for the gm to say it outright like that, but I think he should have done just that. If they come up with something that would fail after some time he tells them.

>> No.25114409

>>25108176
Forgot the picture. :l

>>
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