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24073787 No.24073787 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Elegan/tg/entlemen, i have a problem i need assistance with

While speaking with a friend of mine, she complained about her laptop playing up. I, jokingly, suggested she appease the Machine Spirit.
10 minutes later, we are discussing the ceremony when she asks what to say if her mother walks into her room during the 'ritual'

Her mother is a copper. good excuses would be appreciated, my friends.

also, general AdMech/IRL stories

>> No.24073872
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24073872

>Her mother is a copper

>> No.24073889

Throw air at her so she'll oxidize.

>> No.24073907

Funny
Brit-slang for Police Officer

>> No.24073915

Throw zinc at her.

Galvanize that bitch, bitches love galvanized copper.

>> No.24073927
File: 109 KB, 221x219, One moooore thing!.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
24073927

This ritual must contain the phrase "Yu mo geh gwai fi de chao, yu mo geh gwai fi de chao..."

You have no choice in the matter.

>> No.24073959
File: 305 KB, 1000x1250, 1350464048956.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
24073959

Just tell her you're trying to create a new religion to fuck people in the future over.

>> No.24073976
File: 391 KB, 798x1138, prayer_of_the_omnissiah.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
24073976

Tell her to lock the door, the Omnissiah does not take kindly to fleshlings interfering with his processes.

>> No.24073977

Why would you even need an excuse?

>> No.24073980

Just tell her it's a joke you pleb.

>> No.24073994

>>24073927
"Magic must defeat magic." is a great bullshit justification for lots of things.

>> No.24074003

>>24073976
her door has no lock, hence the excuse

>> No.24074046

>>24073994
>lots of things
Does that include trying to put a voodoo curse on the wiccans next door?

>> No.24074051
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24074051

>>24073889
>>24073915

>> No.24074074

>>24073977
This.
>>24073980
And this.

>> No.24074159

i dont need an excuse, she wanted one.
she hasnt heard of 4chan, let alone /tg/ so i thought i'd ask the fa/tg/uys for some

>> No.24074181

Made some AdMech gear for a LARP - including a skull shaped speaker that sings hymns to the Omnissiah. Had some fun trying to sound exactly like a dalek reading from the Uplifting Primer. Also included excerpts from the Book of Armaments, because Monty Python is always good. Oh, and Gregorian chants pushed through the dalek filter.

>> No.24074193

>>24074159
Allow me to rephrase. Why does she need an excuse?

>> No.24074205

The way you put "ritual" in quotation marks makes me think you're just going to trick her in to having sex with you.

>> No.24074217

>>24074193
her mums police, her dads hardcore ultra-catholic, shes a bit of a wild-kid, she just wanted a normal, acceptable excuse for why she's chanting over a laptop surrounded with lit candles and sigils

>house freeksal
> you got it, captcha

>> No.24074244

>>24074217
I don't think there's any excuse for that which would qualify as "normal." Losing a bet, maybe.

>> No.24074264

>>24074217

Tech support told me to do it

>> No.24074266

>>24074217
Well first thing you do is tell her it's a goddamn joke. Second, it's not like she's doing anything illegal so her mom being a cop is completely irrelevant.

>> No.24074281

>>24074217
Why does anyone do anything?
>"I thought it'd be amusing."

>> No.24074297

>>24074244
good idea, chgeers

>>24074264
also good

>>24074205
been there, done that
didnt work out, friends4lyfe

>>24074266
I.m not there, dude, we were talking on the phone

>> No.24074303

>>24074217
There simply isn't one

>> No.24074343

>>24074297
>I.m not there, dude, we were talking on the phone

That matters why? "Yeah you know that thing in which you pray to a fictitious spirit that resides within your laptop? It was a joke."

>> No.24074398
File: 130 KB, 1200x900, 1361116547790.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
24074398

>>24073976

That's fucking beautiful man, where did you find that?

also, those of you who know of the teachings of zerthimon from planescape, do you think their religion would evolve into this after technological advancement?

>> No.24074448

>>24073787
OP you should feel terrible. This girl was obviously raised catholic and as such she is not only nevi but desperate for something else to believe in. People like this will grab onto anything that seems spiritual that counters their upbringing. They wan't to be able to say "No! this isn't the work of the devil, it's the work of the true god! You were wrong all along!" And what form of salvation have you given her? A religion from a game that doesn't even take itself seriously? shame on you OP, shame on you.

>> No.24074521
File: 40 KB, 720x479, 1365017821384.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
24074521

>>24074448

>> No.24074585

>>24074217
Have her explain to her parents that the problems with her laptops have gotten to the point where she is worried that it was possessed.

Have her use it for an excuse to get a new laptop.

>> No.24074778

Mum walks in "What are you doing?"
> stuff.
"Why?"
> internet

>> No.24074837

>>24074448
Ignoring the fact that this is likely a troll post, let's think about this seriously for a minute.
What ARE the core teachings of the Cult Mechanicus?

>> No.24074865

>>24074837

Technology is radical.

Try not to piss it off.

>> No.24074908

>>24074837
The Mysteries of the Cult Mechanicus

Life is directed motion.
The spirit is the spark of life.
Sentience is the ability to learn the value of knowledge.
Intellect is the understanding of knowledge.
Sentience is the basest form of Intellect.
Understanding is the True Path to Comprehension.
Comprehension is the key to all things.
The Omnissiah knows all, comprehends all.

The Warnings of the Cult Mechanicus

The alien mechanism is a perversion of the True Path.
The soul is the conscience of sentience.
A soul can be bestowed only by the Omnissiah.
The Soulless sentience (i.e. Necrons) is the enemy of all.
The knowledge of the ancients stands beyond question.
The Machine Spirit guards the knowledge of the Ancients.
Flesh is fallible, but ritual honours the Machine Spirit.
To break with ritual is to break with faith.

>> No.24074909

>>24074837
>likely a troll post
true, but I've meet people where this could apply. I know a guy who believes planescape is real.

>> No.24074918

>>24074343
>fictitious spirit
>heresy
>m41,013

>> No.24074940

>>24074837
The best way I can put it is "Enlightenment by installment", the goal is to become one with the glorious lord of machinery and technology and ascend beyond your meager organic beginnings
Worship of technology as proof of the Omnissiah's miracles worked through man is part of that

>> No.24075841

>>24074398
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ecvLRxb3MU#

>> No.24077054

>Not demanding the smallest mutual respect of knocking before barging into someone's private chambers

Tell her to teach her parents some common etiquette.

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