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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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[ERROR] No.24008710 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

>> No.24008784

>>24008710
Continuation of >>24008674

>> No.24008818

>>24008746
I feel confident about this, although this is higher profile than I was lead to believe, but if he goes missing, an entire mob network gets destabilized, at the very least the rival Gith gangs will have more distractions.

>> No.24008844

>>24008815
No. Never thought of that. huh.

BRB . . .

>> No.24008871

Did >>24006689 ever get back, or was there smiting for all?

>> No.24009017

>>24008818
and welcome to the surface

>> No.24010227

>Walking through the woods
>See a hut and decide to peak in
>Orcs, fur suits and one seriously drunk human
>Spin 360 and get the fuck out of there
>My face the entire time
What the fuck did I just see?

>> No.24010248

>>24010227
You saw a chance to get exp SLIP THROUGH YOUR FINGERS.

Fuck, I bet some of the fuckers were prone! Idiot!

>> No.24010251

>>24010248
They seemed to be holding rather large blunt object so I decided against it

>> No.24010259

>>24008710

please explain that gif

>> No.24010671

>>24008871
Well I went to Loli - Ghost and evil spirit guy's place and took care of the evil spirit and then decided to catch a few hours of sleep to help me process things.

So far no smiting just a Turn undead and protection from evil spell. Seems the evil spirit was angry and decided to haunt my nightmares because I used turn undead on him. Weirdest thing at the time. Katarina was in them and every time the spirit tried to turn my dream to a night mare she would apear and drive him off so my sleep was undisturbed.

Needless to say when I woke up she was holding me in her arms purring the word "mine" in her sleep. I think I could get used to that word.

>> No.24011327

stay alive thread.

>> No.24011979

>Work in a computer store.
>Dragon drops off computer due to viruses.
>"Totally not due to porn nope."
>The mother load of dragon porn on this drive.
>Save most of it. Clean the drive.

I now have all of the dragon porn. Life is good.

>> No.24012069

>>24011979
Yo, hook a brother up.

>> No.24012112

>>24012069
I would love to....problem is it was a tb of pics and vids. It'll take a while to get a torrent going. Besides I...OH fuck he is in some of these pictures. Ahahaha...oh god this is amazing.

>> No.24013139

"Good Morning" as the primitive greeting goes, I'm in a predicament, when I looked up hazards, I discarded "young intraining wizards" as a nonfactor, I mean it's just a bunch of punk kids right? Then last night while I slept, they made their rounds and, well.....

>> No.24013357

>>24010259
A rotating map of the demi-planes

>> No.24013507

>>24013357
Oh hey, you got any ideas what I should do about >>24013139 ?

>> No.24013897

>>24013139
>>24013507
Hmmm . . . little out of my area . . . there was a Enchanter on earlier . . . but if that is a drawing of your new form you can either make it work for you, as many people are into the whole tentacle scene or find a good disenchanter. Watch out though, they may have emplaced some contingency spells, so don't skimp on a back-alley mage, find a Guildsman.

Additionally there was an Ilithid on earlier who's staying in LA that might be needing a roommate; I can send you the address of the waystop/tavern where he hangs out.

>> No.24014171

>>24013897
that was me, same guy

>> No.24014308

>>24014171
Oh, shit man . . i mean . . um.
That's what I get for going off and mana harvesting late at night, screws with awareness.

Well, um, well, the advice still applies. Hows cousin Stacy treating you?

>> No.24014365

>>24014171
Wow I thought your species were hermaphrodites how did a gender swap spell work on you?

>> No.24014477

>>24014365
more like gender emphasis/humanization, quite the irritating downgrade, but manageable, my self imposed info gathering plan remains and I still have a lineup of crooks for me to munch on, and SMIGHT!

Sorry for that outburst, my host was a paladin

>> No.24015492

Well, this is awkward. I woke up this morning with a hangover that could kill a balor, listening to the sounds of a small holy war coming from the kitchen. I snuck a look, and there's three bitches out there arguing: I'm gonna shorthand their descriptions to Hornybitch, Featherbitch, and Firebitch. They're all nice to look at, but they're all arguing very loudly and it's really hurting my head.

Who are these people, why are they in my apartment, and most importantly what the FUCK was I doing last night?

>> No.24015561

>>24014308
Was alright, sorry for the delayed responce, I was lost in, how do I put this, foreign sensations. Very discmphorting.

>> No.24015631

>>24015492
Try to interupt and sak maybe?

>> No.24015641

>>24015631
*ask*

>> No.24015728

>>24015631
>>24015641
See, I have one little problem. I have this irrational attachment to living.

>> No.24015900

>>24015492
You know, the person that invents a cure for mana-hangovers will become like a god to magic users everywhere.

>> No.24015938

>>24015728
Start by making breakfast. Just walk past them, ignore their bickering for a bit and make French Toast or something like that.

Once you have the bitches sat down around a table with breakfast you can get your answers from them.

>> No.24015940

>>24015492

Co' mon dude, just throw a little protection from outsiders down and walk in all cool-like and ask for the coffee. If you're lucky you can get past them on shear machismo

>> No.24016096

>>24015938
Well, it'd be lunch. I think I've got some leftover pizza, and I suppose I'm coordinated enough to make some from-scratch pasta to go with it. Maybe a salad. Outsiders eat salad, right?

I suppose all that's left is to see how it goes.

>>24015940
I cannot into magic. At least, not in a way I can control. Don't ask. Just thinking about something that complicated makes my head spin, and with the hangover that'd end badly.

>> No.24016278

>>24016096
. . .urf . . . tell me about it. You weren't at last nights summoning were you?

>> No.24017944

>>24016278
For all I know I could have been. I could have been anywhere in the goddamn world last night and I wouldn't remember.

Still have no idea what the fuck these three are doing here, since they seem to just ASSUME that I know already and refuse to listen to me when I try to explain that no, I really don't remember why a demoness, celestial, and humanoid elemental are in my apartment.

What sort of "summoning" are you on about anyway?

>> No.24018062

>>24017944
There was a general multi-planar gateway opened last night, wee meant to just summon some elemental but something went awesome/wrong and half the damn multiverce took it as an invitation to come on in. But most of the mages (including yours truly) were high on mana by then and it turned into a rave to end all raves.

So how was your night?

>> No.24018312

So, I'm kinda stuck in a magical prank war with my neighbor. He's magically cut off power to my... well, my whole block. Power company has no idea what's going on, can't call them because the phone lines are down too. I've got my laptop hooked up to my magical emergency backup battery, trying to figure out what he could've used to do this. Getting close, I think, so I've got one real question:

What do I do to retaliate? I can supply more information about what lead up to this point, if anyone wants it.

>> No.24018550

>>24018062
I wish I knew for sure, but some circumstantial evidence suggests I forgot one hell of a night.

You wouldn't know how to recover memories, would you?

>> No.24018934

Hell of a day so far, had to buy new clothes, any idea how awkward it is for someone like me to step in a surface clothing store for females, VERY, but I've got fiting and dignified attire now, and back on track for this Dog crime lord.

>> No.24019188

>>24018550
Mnemosyne, a brew of purewater and essence of lethe. Not too rare, but a specialty item. try amazon.alchemical.net

>> No.24019219

>>24018312
details are always welcomed dude. know that we might make fun of them if they're stupid

>> No.24019736

>>24019219
Okay, so, I figured out what he did to the power grid. Carved a rune into the inside of the meter box for this section of town that absorbs the energy passing through. Discharged when I dispelled it, almost fried the box. That's taken care of.

As for what happened, well, dude sent his cat into my yard, invisible, and I made his cat a female to keep him from getting any of my females pregnant. He takes offense to that and, the next day, tries to make all of my cats female and regenerates the spayed/neutered ones before trying to set his cat loose on them again. So, I use a little bit of magic to fling his cat out of my yard when he's not looking and herd mine back inside so the spell can wear off.

Next day, as he's setting out for work, I turn him into a female cat. He spends the rest of the day running from his cat, trying to call in to work.

Day after, that is day before yesterday, I start noticing the wards in my yard moving around. I just assume that I have moles and go on with my day. When I get back, they're just gone. All of them were dug up and I got them in the mail as a fine powder yesterday.

Which is when I set up an illusion to cue up as this guy turned onto his road, that made his house look, sound, smell, feel, and even taste, like it was on fire. Fire department got called, their hoses smashed his windows in, they bashed his door down with axes and found a hovering smiley face staring back at them from his kitchen that had, "just playing," written on its forehead. They thought it was him, police wrote him a citation because nothing got broken but his own stuff.

This morning, I wake up and there's no heat, no hot water, no light, and no telephone. Like I said, he'd figured out what section of the power grid I was on, that it wasn't the same as his, and carved a rune into the power box that sapped the electricity from the lines before it got to peoples' houses.

Now, what do I do to this guy for this shit?

>> No.24019805

>>24019736
frigging Transmutation Mages, my neighbor is still trying to shed that damn tail.

>> No.24019823

>>24019188
I think I've got the ingredients: as it happens, I keep a few ingredients that won't spoil lying around.

What's the proper mixture again?

>> No.24019849

>>24019823
17:1 favoring purewater.
Well, seem Miss. Blackthorne was right, paying attention in basic potions pays off one day ;)

>> No.24019879

>>24019805
What kind of tail? A lot of transmutation spells have very specific applications and can't be used for anything else. If I knew what kind of tail it was, I might be able to figure out what spell it came from.

If all else fails, find another transmutation mage and ask to be changed back to your own form.

>> No.24020125

>>24019849
... OH. So that's what happened last night.

Yeah, I think a few of those summoned outsiders you mentioned earlier came through a bar in town last night. There was nearly a fight, and I got involved with a little bit of the old "hey-let's-not-fight-when-we-could" routine, we came back to my place, stuff happened, and some things were apparently said that might have been better left unsaid.

The short of it is, would most outsiders be okay with polyfaithful marriages?

>> No.24020192

>>24020125
Yea, most of them are actually. People shoul get used to it what with all the demons and daevas with nothing to do now that the H&H (heaven & hell) wars are pretty much over.

>> No.24020266

>>24018934
so, you single?

>> No.24020406

>>24020192
Oh, good. Here I was starting to think proposing to all three of them was a mistake. Good to know it wasn't as bad as I had figured.

If I could only get them to quit arguing...

>> No.24020476

>>24020406
its in their nature, if anything their very presence unsettles the others

>> No.24020569

>>24020406
alas, that, sadly, is not as easy as getting engaged. The nature of some just doesn't allow for it. Now, optimally a wood elemental (dryad/wood sprite) hellion (succbus/mara) and a denizen of the Far Realms is what you want. They'd get along fine if my neighbors are any measure. But its more likely similar to that poor guy with the demon and angel fighting over him in the last thread.

>> No.24020667

>>24020406
Hahahaha. You're not going to have any chance of getting them to quit arguing. At the very most you'll get it down to vaguely congenial bickering, at least between the celestial and demoness.

If you're lucky their cute while they're arguing. And they channel that into competitiveness, in bed.

>> No.24020680

>>24020667
they're. Fuck, can't spell today.

>> No.24020760

>>24020680
Probably that mana-hangover HT was taking about

>> No.24020892

>>24019736
No advice for this?

I just don't really know how to get back at him.

How would you even top shutting off the power to an entire subdivision for the majority of a day, just to get at one person?

>> No.24020923

>>24020892
I could psionicly blank his mind, would that help?

>> No.24020971

>>24020892
It's a tough one to beat, especially without leaving prank territory or causing absurd amounts of collateral damage.

I think the solution is subtlety. Let him think he's won, but slowly keep on fucking with him. When he sleeps make it sound like spiders or something like that are crawling in his walls, when he stops paying attention for a bit have him feel a crawly sensation on his back, slowly induce paranoia. Then, when the time is right, hire a spidergirl, fill his bed with little spiders or illusions of spiders, have it set up so a web drops from his ceiling on him, and have the spidergirl come out of the shadows and tell him "Your move."

>> No.24021059

>>24020892
not really my thing . . . unless you want a tisane mixed or beings summoned, basically ritual magics, though I did minor in magitech.
What happened to the Necromancer we had running around in here, or that Tehcnomage? They seem like the types to aid in such an endeavor.
.

>> No.24021070

>>24020923
Nah, not quite to that point yet. I think I still have some people that work at the mental health institute if you're looking for a job. They mentioned looking for psions to help with rehabilitation at one point.

>>24020971
This sounds nice. Think snakes would work?

I actually know a lamia who lives nearby. Had today off, missed a long day of being able to lounge on her personal heat rock because the electricity was off, and it was too cold to do it outside. I could even do it from inside my house if I could get one of my new wards onto his roof and get her to sneak some sticks inside.

I never thought I'd get any use out of that old Sticks to Snakes spell. Guess I was wrong.

>> No.24021091

>>24021059
>Tehcnomage=TECHNOmage

bleagh. still working off this hangover

>> No.24021122

>>24021070
Hmm... maybe.

>> No.24021165

>>24021070
Snakes would totally work, I just used spiders as an example as people often have a bit of a primal terror of them.

Remember, the prepwork is important for this one, start small, with hissing noises at the edge of his hearing and the sound of scales scraping against things, weird slithering sensations here and there, once he's good and worked up you drop the actual snakes on him.

>> No.24021190

>>24021122
I think my mom still works at the police, too if you'd rather work at the prison doing basically the same thing.

And, in that case, you might be able to set something up with the warden where he lets you have the brains of inmates that have to be put down. Or maybe even do the putting down yourself while they're strapped to a table for the prisoners that aren't to be executed in front of a group of people.

>> No.24021321

>>24021190
I thought the California Courts declared that 'cruel and unusual' ?

>> No.24021366

>>24021321
California? Well that explains that. I'm not in Cali. I'm out in the boonies in The Glorious Old South, where they'll occasionally march prisoners out into the yard as a peace offering to the local dragons.

>> No.24021632

>>24021366
So that's where those red-dragon cultists keep coming from.

>> No.24021682

>>24008710
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aq8iyXFjM9g

That .gif synchs perfectly to this.

>> No.24021733

>>24021682
its an omni-sided hyper-star, it synches with everything.

>> No.24021739

>>24021632
Entirely possible. We do have a lot of mountains around here.

I personally think that the prison farms in Louisiana have it worse. Swamp = black dragons, and dense forest = green dragons. You can be melted by acid, or poisoned to death.

>> No.24021940

>>24021366
>>24021321
>>24021190
either way if I could get an arrangement with the LAPD to take care of criminals they can't touch, that may be good, it's more practical to have the law with me than against me

>> No.24021980

>>24021739
Ab don't fo'get the crocks sheri

cought tis baby one tryin to sneak in past the bayou gates near Naw'oleans

>> No.24022041

>>24021940
Well, they got Paladins, Black Guard, a couple of those gun-fu guys from Hong Kong and a Lich on staff in Sacramento, so, it's not a stretch for an illithid in LA.

>> No.24023804

>>24020667
Yeah, at least the elemental-ish one is fairly neutral. I think mostly she's just hotheaded and outspoken, which means she pushes the other two's buttons. The celestial is pretty cute about it... does that thing where she beats her wings when she gets flustered. The demoness is kind of a bitch, but from what I've seen backs off a bit right when she's about to go too far.

Whether they get competitive or not remains to be seen, but I'm not entirely convinced I could survive that if it's the case.

>>24022041
>Lich in Sacramento
You don't mean Balthor the Mad, do you? I used to see him at forensics conferences. God, I hate that guy.

For my 27th birthday he mailed me a digestive tract... that was still functional.

>> No.24023924

>>24023804
>You don't mean Balthor the Mad, do you?
yea, hes like that. even weirds-out some of us

>> No.24024234

>>24023924
I mean, I see some messed-up shit as part of my job, but that was just downright annoying. Stomach acid all over the floor... and I'm pretty sure there was a half-digested apple or something too.

>> No.24024611

>>24024234
and none of this served any purpose? it could have least found use as a food disposal unit.

>> No.24024737

>>24024611
Necromancers. Nuff said. (present company excluded)

>> No.24024821

>>24024737
s'all good, no prob man.

>> No.24025096

Any help? I'm fed up with this goddamn "ancient secrets of generations of mystic sages" closed-source wizard bullshit, so I tried to go open-circle and start practicing the Ubuntu school of magic. Pic related's the main circle, any tips on installing it? I've got the circle set up and a photocopy of the Ubuntu boot tome, but I'm having issues getting it to actually cast properly. Last time I tried this I ended up in the hospital for a few days.

>> No.24025162

>>24025096
Are you sure you've properly adjusted for lunisolar inclinations for your location and time of year? School of Linus magic tends to be highly dependent on proper zodaical and astrologic alignment at runtime. Try looking up where the sun and moon should be relative to when and where you install and aligning the moon and sun sub-circles properly. Make sure to use a compass.

>> No.24025180

>>24025096
I'd really recommend that you try practicing Gentoo instead.

>> No.24025215

So my landlord just sold the property I'm living on to an Aboleth. Apparently the thing has bought up all of the the land of the neighborhood I'm in, and is planning on renovating the whole thing. I just got in the mail today a pamphlet from him titled "Aquatic life, the whys and hows of living underwater," and another pamphlet showing the geography of the area, and how my neighborhood used to be a huge lake, until some dwarves rerouted an underground river a few hundred years ago, and how this guy is going to set it back to the way it was. I don't have anywhere else to go, and I don't have enough money to move right now, so I'm kinda nervous about what's going to happen.

>> No.24025272

>>24025215
Uh. That sounds mildly illegal. You need all kinds of permits for major earthmoving projects like that.

Do you live anywhere near New England? I hear the "Innsmouth Look" is in pretty big right now. There's a few biokinesis salons that are offering low-priced makeovers. You could always try that on for a while, see if underwater suits you.

>> No.24025459

>>24025272
I'm down in PA, so it's like an 8 hour drive from there. In a small town in Appalachia.

I've heard the state's tried to fight it, but this Aboleth has all his ducks in a row, hell, now that I'm looking at this pamphlet some more, it's mentioning building a hydro electric dam at the other end of the valley, and using the currents of the underground to fill this place up into something as big as one of the finger lakes.

And now that I look at the Aquatic life pamphlet again, there's a weird circle, symbol thingy on the back that's glowing a faint sort of aquamarine. The text above it says "This pamphlet is all you need to get acclimated to an amphibious life style." So uhh... I think that might be bad.

>> No.24025490

>>24025096
No, that's the problem with all these freemagi systems cropping up, the activation grids and circles get copied so many times the micro-runes on the borders get obscured.

Here, re-etch the circle and add this as an underpinning, if this doesn't stabilize it check your equipment for compatibility.

If i had a nickle every time an Evoker tried to use a Summoner's circles . . .

>> No.24025539

>>24025490
Ahh, I see. Thanks.

With any luck, this'll at least be cheaper than the old MacIntosh shit I used to use. All those damn Celtic squiggles were a pain in the ass.

>> No.24025643

>>24025459
It's probably just a light transmutation glyph, gills or some other water adaptation. That's a new federal law, in the old days your first warning would have been the million gallons of water pouring down on your house. There's also likely an address on the back somewhere, tey don't have to say it specifically but alternate accommodations for special cases, like a fire based creature, are also enforced now. Just ask for the special circumstances exception and the'll probably set you in new place, or get corrosion resistant furniture.

>> No.24025702

>>24025096
we sharing circles on 4chan now?

>> No.24025734

>>24025459
Hm. Could you describe the glyph? You should be able to look at it safely if you wear polarizing sunglasses and look at it in a mirror. There should be some warning text below it or something. I'm a little bit racist, but I still don't trust anything from an Aboleth.

>> No.24025762

>>24025702
Yeah. Based Moot gave us circle-sharing capacity and .mdf support a few months ago; we're not supposed to share anything dangerous, copyrighted, or illegal, but it's not really enforced.

Might I ask what that circle is? I don't recognize the language the inscription is in. Looks kind of like some bastard child of Yuggothic.

>> No.24025772

>>24025734
go back to >>/pol/ you fascist

>> No.24025796

>>24025762
Its a cyber_magic barrierform. need a tech-wizard to use it right

>> No.24025805

>>24025772
Jesus Christ, the "Let's-All-Get-Mind-Raped-By-Aberrations" Act was only in like '02 or so. You can hardly blame me for still being uneasy around the damn things.

I'm serious about the polarizing-sunglasses/mirror thing, though. That's one of the standard ways to view clearly active glyphs safely.

>> No.24025833

>>24025805
the sunglasses mirror thing is true, but i assumed since he has a computator and is on the world wide mana web he knew that

>> No.24025855

>>24025459
Well, depends. Are you OK with body transmutation, possibly some mental stuff? Some people are a little more rigid about this stuff than others. I probably wouldn't subject myself to an actively glowing glyph of unknown function or origin, though. Try the standard safe viewing method and avoid touching the glyph without gloves on. When's your neighborhood supposed to be flooded?

>> No.24025877

>>24025833
You'd be surprised. I worked in Tech Support for a long time, and I've got friends in the Thaumaturgic ward of my local hospital- speaking of which, always make friends with those people, and invite them to parties. The stuff they'll tell you is even funnier than the stuff proctologists will tell you when they're drunk.

But you'd be surprised at just how many people are utterly clueless about even basic magical safety.

>> No.24025914

>>24025877
I could fill a story time thread with the stupid shit I've seen.

>> No.24025916

>>24025643
I don't know if you know this or not, but PA's one of the most backwards states in the US, and there's a lot of laws that don't really get enforced around here, especially in bum-fuck nowhere, where I'm at. The local government cares more about their "national forests," than us townsfolk.

>>24025734
It's a bunch of weird lines, making weird shapes, I don't really know much of the glyph things, never had an aptitude for magic or anything of the sort.

>>24025855
I didn't even notice that thing up until I unfolded the pamphlet completely, well it's stopped glowing now, so whatever it was doing is over now, I think.

>> No.24025917

So, uh... I'm pretty new at this. I tried to make a blood sacrifice, but I thought there was some magic way to stop the bleeding? I didn't realize that this would hurt so much, and it didn't seal up after I said the magic words. And it doesn't seem to be working- it said it was supposed to give me awesome superpowers, but it's just glowing and sort of smoking and my hand REALLY hurts.

What should I do??

>> No.24025925

>>24025917

See what I mean!?

>>24025877

>> No.24025958

>>24025917
Damn it! Get to a Thaumaturgical Ward before you lose you hand, or open a inter-planar gate, or worse!

>> No.24025967

>>24025916
It's stopped glowing? Uh... hm. Did it do anything when you looked at it, or when you touched it? If it's stopped glowing, that probably means it's out of activation phase- it's either charging up, or it's spent its charge and transferred whatever was in the glyph to you.

Did you do anything to "confirm" it? If you just touched the pamphlet or looked at it and the glyph discharged, and there's no other information than what you were given, this is pretty flagrantly illegal and also really, really sketchy.

Keep us posted on whatever happens.

>> No.24025992

>>24025967
>>24025967
Also, if this is a transformation glyph, you're going to want to keep ahold of that pamphlet. Activate-on-touch/sight/reading stuff like this is kind of sketchy and not the stuff you want messing around with your organs, but having it work only partway is even worse. Staying in skin contact with the pamphlet is probably the best way to make sure you don't end up with a botched cast.

>> No.24026018

>>24025958
Oh shit it's that bad? Here's one of the things I was using. Took a picture before it started smoking.

My eye won't stop twitching and my hand won't work. I'm going to call 911.

>> No.24026033

>>24026018
And here's the other stuff I've been doing:

>> No.24026042

>>24026033

>> No.24026070

>>24026018
dam it my hand is shake ting too much to dial the phone. I can only use this thing through peach wreck cognition.

>> No.24026073

Rolled 17, 45, 85, 5 = 152

>>24026018
Welp, you're fucking dead. Do you have a gun?

>> No.24026122

>>24026018
Oh Christ, that looks like Voynich shit. Never, ever use Voynich shit.

>> No.24026151

>>24026073
Everything is fine. There was no need for alarm. I am sorry for "trolling" you. The light is wonderful and it is a very nice day. My hand is fine and there is no need for alarm. My hand is fine.

>> No.24026172

>>24026122
Speaking of which, did anyone ever find out what was going on with those? They don't really look like magic circles, but I remember some reports of weird shit going down when somebody tried to use them that way.

>> No.24026184

>>24026151
whelp, looks like he's a pod person now, should we do anything?

>> No.24026233

>>24025967
>>24025992
Well, nothing's happening yet. And this sort of shady business happens around here all the time.

You should see the turf wars that take place out in Pittsburgh between the Dwarves, the Derro, and the hobgoblins that used to all run the steel mills. Now that was some shady business right there.

Also I just saw on the local news, apparently the local forest preservation druids are going to be "Walking" all the trees up in elevation from my area tomorrow, out of the flood zone. The reporter also actually talked to the Aboleth over the whole thing, which is my first time seeing the guy, but he said that thanks to his men that dam will be finished in 3 days, and then the restoration will begin.

>> No.24026242

>>24026018
>>24026033
>>24026042
Gods damn it! See? This is the problem with TV show like that Dr. Magus guy, some dome sees an episode and thinks a little cast-it-yourself is perfectly fine.

Well, let me tell you there's a reason we go to school to learn this shit, because a damn television is can just not transmit the manapulses per-second to properly demonstrate magic therum! We are only just now able to store and send glyphs and even then the rune loss rate makes resending dangerous, what makes you think watching some hack on Magical Crime Scene Investigation is enough to do it yourself ?!

>> No.24026273

>>24026233
3 days? Gods, that's just terrible.

I'd recommend just grabbing everything valuable and leaving. The flood damage to your house will make it worthless anyway, and you don't want to stick around to see what everybody else turns into. Drive away, find a hospital out of the flood zone, and get yourself checked.

>> No.24026279

>>24026242
>>24026151

damn it. successful troll is successful

>> No.24026297

>>24026279
>being fooled by what is obviously a posession
>2013

>> No.24026381

>>24024611
Well yeah, it served his purpose of being a dick. That's about it, though. A human digestive system doesn't really get rid of waste, you know. That's not quite how it works.

>> No.24026431

>>24026297
Well, you don't have to rub it in. Have a rune.

>> No.24026472

So, I recently moved into a new house. Just got around to giving a good look around.

I just found some kind of weird symbol on the narrow edge of one of my doors, and I have no idea what it does. There's a matching one on the jamb of the door, too. Well, I say matching, but it's mirrored.

See my shitty MSPaint attempt at recreating it.

>> No.24026496

>>24026472
I can honestly say I've never seen that symbol before. I think it might just be a standard door ward.

That said... how old is this house? Anything odd about the previous owner?

>> No.24026533

So I found this thing when I was walking near where I live out in Oregon. Any idea what it is? Whenever I walk near it there's a weird feeling in my chest, like I'm standing near a subwoofer. I'm a little hesistant to walk through it, but since when has a fa/tg/uy ever backed down from a promise of Adventure?

>> No.24026566

>>24026381
I'm acustomed to a great deal of organic waste

>> No.24026570

>>24026533
Easy; Basic mana circle, that's the power of a ley line being amplified.

>> No.24026593

>>24026570
Ahh. So not so much "Adventure! in the Outer Planes" as "Adventure! in Thaumic Radiation Poisoning" then.

>> No.24026624

>>24026496
It's been around about, maybe, seventy or more years. Same old, last owner was a wizard, built the house himself, "seemed to crop up overnight," story I'm sure everyone's heard a dozen times or more.

Decided to do a little bit of looking into it with a pinhole camera on the end of a wire. The middles looked worn, and I found out that it's because they rotate whenever you close the door, so you might be right.

Went a little overboard with the MSPaint scribble, left is what they should look like if you overlay them, right is what they actually end up looking like, according to my camera.

>> No.24026638

>>24026593
Well, don't stay inside it for 24hrs straight or during any eclipse (or other astrological event) unless you're a magical type.

>> No.24026665

>>24026624
Possibly an old-style magic lock. Try holding a mana battery up to the door when it's closed.

>> No.24026671

>>24026624
Oh, interesting. Looks like a lock. It's almost certainly a ward or other protective widget of some kind. The question is whether it's to keep shit out of the house, or to keep shit from getting out of it. With stuff like that, either one's plausible.

Still, doesn't look actively dangerous.

>> No.24026685

>>24026273
I said originally I don't have the money to leave, and, I just found another nail in my, soon to be sunken, coffin. There's a tiny little paragraph of legal jargon there that I'm pretty much sure says something along the lines of "By opening the next part of this pamphlet you acknowledge what this thing can do to you, so you can't hold my slimy ass accountable for your own stupidity."

And also my right hand just became webbed.

>> No.24026717

>>24026685
Hey, don't worry. The Innsmouth Look is in fashion this year.

What you should worry about is waterproofing your shit so that flood damage doesn't destroy everything valuable in your house.

>> No.24026736

>>24026685
Might want to find a Transmuter before it's permanent which makes it far more costly to fix.

>> No.24026760

>>24026736
Well, if he doesn't have the money to move and his house is about to be literally underwater, it's a good question whether it'd actually be a good idea to reverse it. Long-lasting water-acclimation shit takes more than three days to get used to and it's expensive. He's getting something like that for free, although it's probably just a patch job.

>> No.24026801

>>24026760
With webbed hands? When a simple gill-job would have worked? No it's likely a full transmutation, some type of secondary aquatic template. Mer-folkish I'd guess.

>> No.24026816

>>24026801
Let's just hope it's not into an aboleth. That would suck.

>> No.24026844

>>24026816
Aboleths are kinda overrated, they seem scared most if the time

>> No.24026856

>>24026717
Well, I've read into the pamphlet a bit more, and got a magnifying glass to read some of the stuff, it actually lists the outcomes, it looks like I have somewhere around a 30% chance of becoming a merfolk, 20% chance of becoming a frogman, a 35% of becoming something called a "skum," and a 15% chance of becoming some sort of water fey, though the fey part looks more like it covers "any other intelligent fresh-water creature."

Also, the Aboleth guy had more to say, apparently has a plan for the houses of those who stayed. Showed some illusion explaining it and everything, apparently he's gonna float all the houses of people who wanna stay up onto the laketop with some sort of magic, then anchor the houses closer to the shore. This all looks like pretty heavy magic mumbo-jumbo to me.

Aaaand my other hand is now webbed to.

>> No.24026861

>>24026665
It seems to sag in its frame, about the way you'd expect a door to in a house this old when I do this, like the mana battery's leeching power off of it.

>>24026671
Door opens inward, so probably keeping stuff in.

Saw something weird while I was on the floor dicking around with my tiny camera. The bed folds up into the wall(supposed to be a, "guest bedroom/storage room," according to the real estate agent).

I don't know much about magic, but I recognize a summoning circle when I see one. And this one is a doozy. It's set into the floor and it's built looking kinda... floaty, if that makes sense, like it's modular and can have its target plane changed with a few quick shifts of the face of it. Metal and wood, looks like a custom job.

So, this is probably the room where the old wizard kept his interplanar visitors. Or maybe I should say, "visitors," from the locking rune on the door?

>> No.24026867 [DELETED] 

>>24026816
I don't know, never met one, but deal mostly with the Fae and Outsiders.

>> No.24026897

>>24026816
I don't know, never met one, but I deal mostly with the Fae and Outsiders.

>> No.24026908

>>24026566
See, it's not really a useful step to run something through a garbage disposal that just craps the waste back out when it's done. That, and the smell... oh, god, the smell. Anyway, I have to be at the office in about 10 hours. I need my beauty sleep.

Speaking of beauty and sleep, does anyone know a quick way to enlarge objects? I think I could do with expanding my bed about a foot on the side.

>> No.24026956

>>24026861
It's a magical lock. Someone probably had a magical pet that could open barriers. Look for similar sets on the windows and anything else that opens to the outside.

>> No.24026970

>>24026861
Your bedroom is directly on the focus of a high-end summoning circle with major thaumic locks? That "leeching power" thing shouldn't happen unless there's a MASSIVE power differential between the battery and the locks- there's got to be at least a couple kiloPrime stored up in the locking mechanism.

You should probably sleep on the floor in the other bedroom.

On the other hand, I can think of a lot of really kinky reasons to have a bed built on top of a major circle. If you feel like living dangerously, you might want to try sleeping on it anyway. I'd avoid bringing anything too powerful into the room that might power up the circle, though.

Like, that mana battery. That'd probably be a bad idea to bring in there.

>> No.24026991

>>24026897
speaking of fae, I have a guy that escaped the Hedge trying to sue the true fae, I need help.

>> No.24026993

>>24026970
Also, with the effects you describe with the sagging door and all that, you probably just struck an arc when you put the battery up to it and flared off a whole assload of mana into the air. Do you feel lightheaded or anything?

>> No.24027005

>>24026970
Oh come on, that's just a bit paranoid. That's incredibly unlikely unless he got the place from a Summoner or some-such and the realtor agent is required to make that stuff known.

>> No.24027016

>>24026991
>Escaped from the Hedge
>Trying to sue
>the fucking True Fae

Pretend you never saw the guy. He cannot possibly win this court battle, and everyone he knows is probably going to be caught in the backlash from how much a stunt like this will amuse the Fae.

>> No.24027029

>>24026991
Is he a half-breed or a victim?

>> No.24027056

>>24027005
Well, he did just say it's definitely a summoning circle under the bed, and a really nice reconfigurable one at that- metal, too. A good silver-bronze circle with custom rearrangement like that is awfully expensive, and they tend to be only used by high-powered professionals. Judging by the story of its building, there's a whole lot of Wizard Shit going on in this building's history.

Also, the house is from the Eighties and it was one of those built-in-a-day types. That circle is probably horribly poorly shielded. Shit in the Eighties was built really, really irresponsibly.

>> No.24027083

>>24027029
What am i saying, either way he hasn't got a case. "Supernatural beings can not be held accountable for acting within their natural drives and instincts." Its been part of the Good Samaritan laws since they added the Heroic Clauses.

>> No.24027129

>>24027056
Maybe im just too optimistic.
Could be a power focus, some outsiders like to absorb power while they sleep, the locks could just be there to keep the power in.

Whatever it is, it can be removed by a Thaumaturge for a basic fee, that's first year apprentice stuff.

>> No.24027157

>>24026970
>>24026993
Well, it's the guest bedroom, thankfully, which means I don't have to deal with it until I can get someone in here to tell me whether it's safe to put people in there or not.

As for light-headed, yeah. Feels like being electrocuted, but without the pain. Just sorta... disorienting.

>>24027005
>>24027056
>Eighties

Seventy or so years ago, actually. The twenties or thirties. They probably don't even know half this stuff is here to tell anyone about it.

>> No.24027159

>>24027083
>>24027083
This isn't even about the laws. The Fae win every damn case no matter what. Trying to beat the Fae in court is like trying to sue the Joker, or maybe Lex Luthor - no matter your case or the law, it's not going to have any real effect, and they'll just think it's funny and fuck you and your family over.

Also, if he escaped from the Hedge, he's technically a criminal, although any sane man on the street would side with him and not the iron-haters.

>> No.24027192

>>24027159
>although any sane man on the street would side with him and not the iron-haters.
whelp as a good person It's my job to try

>> No.24027203

>>24027157
Wait, seventy or so years? So this thing might have been built in the Golden Age of Irresponsible Magic? Before, like, 80% of modern safety procedures and shit?

I guess that makes the "built in a day" story make more sense. That sounds more like the times.

>> No.24027232

>>24027192
Haha, yeah, you're fucked.

The Fae hold more power than the law can possibly touch, and the judges know that. No case with real importance against the bastards has ever succeeded, and nothing good ever happens to anyone who tries to go against them.

>> No.24027269

>>24027159
Dude I don't know what demi-plane you live in but the fae around here got their shit together a long time ago. Sure some of the more powerful get restless sometimes but they respect the laws. Heck, they helped write some of them!

Or are you talking about Wyld Fae? Like denizens of the Madness Beyond?

>> No.24027296

>>24027232
Cynics

>> No.24027319

>>24027203
Apparently. So, not touching the summoning circle. Which is locked to the material plane currently, anyway, if the books in his study are anything to go by.

Might just go through the box of keys that the real estate agent handed me, find the one for that door, and just, kinda, reach up and lock it from the outside too, so no one goes in there by mistake until the Thaumaturgical League gets someone out here to have a poke at it in two weeks.

Their words, not mine.

>> No.24027348

>>24027319
finally a sane person. letting the right people do the job

>> No.24027365

>>24027319
Aww, come on. Don't you want to have some fun? This thing's from the Golden Age of Irresponsible Magic, and it's built by a major wizard. I guarantee you there's something awesome in those books you can summon into that bed, if you know what I mean.

>> No.24027389

Beginning Court
>Where on this doll did the fae touch you?\
>Here *points to my hand the one holding the doll*
the fuck?

>> No.24027434

>>24027389
Oh boy.... I am not exactly what you primitives call empathetic, but you have my pity

>> No.24027481

>>24027348
On the one hand, yeah, sane and wary and safe and not mentally dominated or ripped to pieces by something from beyond this plane.

>>24027365
On the other hand, I did just find his personal journal in a locked box under a loose board, with details on how everything that he built is supposed to be used.

Which includes a list of some kind of ingredients and mentions a thaumic furnace in the basement?

Is it weird that the first thing that popped into my head wasn't to question that he had a thaumic furnace, but to question that his house has a basement at all?

>> No.24027492

>>24027389
Sounds like he's referring to the animating force behind his actual body.

You know, his soul.

>> No.24027510

>>24027481
It's got a secret basement? Hell yes. Basements are FANTASTIC storage space and workshops- they don't build them here in Cali, what with the earthquakes and shit- and secret basements are the coolest basements.

Also it's got a thaumic furnace? That's... wow.

Well shit, nigga. Dare you enter his magical realm?

>> No.24027517

I have a twin bed, two guests with wings, and a third that has fire for hair.

... how the flying fuckberries am I going to do this?

>> No.24027520

>>24027492
Oh.

Wow. That makes a whole lot of sense and is also really disturbing.

>> No.24027546

>>24027517
Would any of the winged ones prefer to sleep upside down hanging from your coat rack?

If so:

Remaining two girls share the twin bed.

You sleep on the sofa.

Trust me, it's better this way.

>> No.24027585

Just checking, but how uncommon is it for a werewolf to have different genders in the animal phase than the human phase?

I need to know this for reasons.

>> No.24027591

Oh God what!? Why is the Judge treating my client this way, is it because he's a Fairest? is it because he's no longer human? What sort of Judge is this?

>> No.24027606

>>24027517
Are we talking literal fire for hair, or just metaphorical fire?

Basically the question is are you going to be woken up in the middle of the night by a fire alarm when she sets fire to the sheets.

>> No.24027618

>>24026844
This one seems pretty confident, but then again, I just did some google-fu on him, and turns out the guy's (it's apparently a he), used to be some big-shot mage-overlord thing of the caverns around here, he got knocked off his post by the dwarves routing the river that fed his lair.

Anyways, turns out he's also my county's mayor, through some sort of "unfortunate accidents," or something, but then again he seems about just as slimy as a normal politician for my area.

>> No.24027619

>>24027585
Never, stop thinking with the lower head

>> No.24027628

>>24027618
They always freaked out around us

>> No.24027633

>>24027517
Two of the girls get the twin bed.

One gets the sofa.

You sleep in the empty tub, on some towels for padding.

Alternately, if the fire-haired one is a literal fire hazard, she sleeps in the tub.

While I appreciate that sleeping with a smoking-hot Outsider sounds like a fantastic idea, just trust me, it's a horrible idea.

>> No.24027660

>>24027591
it's because the defendants are true fae

>> No.24027662

>>24027546
They're not bats, so no. And since one of them is a succubus, I'm pretty sure sleeping on the couch is out. She'd just come out and find me anyway, then the celestial would follow her, then the half-elemental. It's kind of like that.

>>24027606
Fire-fire. As in the hot stuff that cooks your food and makes bad people go away. Admittedly her hair doesn't burn her, me, or any objects... or at least it hasn't yet. Precautions, though.

>> No.24027681

>>24027662
Okay, so it's metaphorical fire. Good to know.

>> No.24027704

>>24027628
Huh that's weird. And, I'd figure I'd ask since it seems I am becoming amphibious of some sort, you got any recommendations for moisturizers for being out of the water.dry environments? Like hell I'm gonna let this thing stop me from my normal job.

>> No.24027713

>>24027704
Coconut oil's a pretty good one. Alternately, just carry around one of those mist fans.

>> No.24027742

>>24027704
they sell rings that can keep you feeling fresh from a warm shower while in the gobi desert, also, very much enjoying showers, much nicer that the underdark's mucus scrubs

>> No.24027784

>>24027510
>Aqua regia
That's acid, right? Seems tame enough.

>Rosa Infernis
I recognize that from alchemy. Infernal rose, right?

>Juncaceae Aspis
Isn't that an Asp Rush? Really poisonous?

>One ingot of hell-bound steel, weighing no less than two pounds and impregnated with the animating influence of a score of men who are counted among the damned
...

>Combine the Aqua Regia with the ground remnants of both Rosa Infernis and Juncaceae Aspis which have been transferred from the mortar to a decanter.

>When the mixture has finished reacting, decant the oil from the top of the remnants of the aqua regia; this oil is to be used throughout the tempering and forging process of the blade.

I suddenly do not want to go anywhere near the basement.

Like, at all.

I'm just gonna go sit in the master bedroom, maybe come out to eat every so often, and just wait until the people from the Thaumaturgical League get here.

>> No.24027817

>>24027784
...I retract encouragement to fuck around with his stuff. With any luck, the master bedroom won't also be full of ohgodwat.

>> No.24027822

THIS ISN'T COURTROOM IT'S A FUCKING THREE RING CIRCUS AND THIS JUDGE IS THE CLOWN!!

>> No.24027839

>>24027628
>aboleths scared of illithids
They were here when your species came onto this plane. They remember what your species did to theirs. It wasn't pretty and it lasted generations.

They're still scared, yes.

>> No.24027875

>>24027713
I think the mist fan might be a little much, but prolly go with the coconut oil.

>>24027742
That ring sounds kinda expensive, and truthfully, with the changes that I'm going through right now, I think I might need to look into a landwalking ring first.

>> No.24027920

>>24027875
Ahh... going full deep on I see.

>> No.24027948

>>24027817
The only creepy thing in the master bedroom is a tasteful painting of a succubus over the head of the bed. And that's only because, "Tasteful," and, "Succubus," don't really belong in the same sentence together half the time. It feels weird saying it.

Hopefully there's not a safe behind the painting, because I'm taking it down.

Of course there is. Big motherfucker, too. Like, a room-sized safe with the painting covering the part of it that comes up from behind the bed.

>> No.24027978

Rolled 54, 55, 86, 41 = 236

>>24027948
DO NOT fuck with the safe. Judging by the rest of the house, it's either got OHGODWHAT inside, or has heavy wards on it. My advice is to stop fucking with anything and sleep in a hotel until the Thaumaturgical League guy gets there.

>> No.24027983

>>24027633
Again, not happening. Though apparently the half fire-elemental might not be a fire hazard after all. Magical flames and all that.

Is there some kinda simple spell I could use to expand the bed? Cause so long as the two winged outsides slept on their stomachs, the issue is more of a space thing.

>> No.24027984

>>24027948
It's full of magic sex toys. Calling it now.

>> No.24028035

>>24027984
Magic sex toys are just the worst. I mean, they sound awesome, but all the one's I've tried fuck with the nervous system something fierce. Like feeling the same things my one-night stand does for a week afterwards. Just bizarre.
Maybe I've just been using shitty sex toys, but I'm certainly not going near the things.

>> No.24028045

>>24027920
Is that another name for merfolk? Cause I think that's happening to me. I moved my laptop into my bathroom, and am now sitting in my tub, drinking water from my shower hose every few minutes, god I'm getting really thirsty. My legs seem to be shrinking, and I think I'm growing a tail, now too.

Also, I looked up some stuff on freshwater merfolk in the US, apparently the North-Easter Freshwater Merfolk fall under the national endangered sentient species act.

>> No.24028056

>>24028045
Nah, the Deep Ones are different. Be very glad you're not going full deep one.

Are you completely losing your legs? Because that sucks.

>> No.24028105

>>24027704
HT recommended a Vaseline product as i recall

>> No.24028135

>>24028056
Well, they are definitely a foot shorter than they were a few hours ago, and I got the beginnings of a tail growing down, and pretty much enveloping my waist. Also, my skins starting to get a sheen to it in spots, and turning a yellow brown color around my hands, with an off white on the palms. I recognize this color pattern from something I've seen, too.

>> No.24028150

>>24027948
>>24027784
>>24027481
You know, its sounding more and more like you should just move out till the mages get there.

>> No.24028180

>>24028045
>North-Easter Freshwater Merfolk fall under the national endangered sentient species act.

only caus the bribed someone to get on the list and for sentients its more like being an native american

>> No.24028194

>>24027978
I am naturally curious, and it explains what the numbers in the bottom of the box of keys were.

>>24027984
Damn, this thing is fucking complicated, especially for a twenties-era safe. It's got the number dials for that era of safe, like you'd see on suitcases, but with keyholes underneath them, and off to one side, there's a dial like you'd find on a newer safe, for another combination. And of course, there's a handle.

Comes right open, though. Same locking symbols from before on the inside of the door, but there's four of the damn things, one on each bolt and inside the housing that the bolt slides into.

Looks like there's a bunch of boxes, a light that looks like it's been on for years and a trapdoor down to the basement that I'm not touching with a basilisk venom-proof pole of any length.

Boxes are marked; "Pottery/Vases," "Paintings," "Personal," and, "Artefacts."

I'm just gonna put everything back where it was and go sleep and eat and work out of the greatroom for the time being.

>> No.24028210

>>24028194
probably a good idea. keep us up updated

>> No.24028232

>>24028194
Probably wise.

But, you know, Adventure! Think of that fa/tg/uy last week who successfully gave the weird white woman who'd stalked him since childhood a ruby, and the D, and lived to tell us about it.

>> No.24028288

>>24028210
Done and done. Going to bed.

>>24028232
I'm kinda adventured out for now and, unless that basement's full of whores, I don't foresee this ending in me giving anyone the dick.

>> No.24028291

Ok, i'm back and . . . >>24028194 >>24027948 >>2402778 >>24027481 . . . Oh my . . that just got real interesting.
Sweet, i may get to use my minor in Magitech after all. Suck it professor Mangnus the Red.

>> No.24028350

>>24028288
Alright, then. Good night! Try not to get murdered by a horrible death curse from the Great Depression.

>> No.24028395

well good night, sleep helps me ration my need for brain food.

>> No.24028411

>>24028291
>Sweet, i may get to use my minor in Magitech after all. Suck it professor Mangnus the Red.
Right, so basically someone thought it be a good idea to try an replace the cruise control on their car with a runecast totem. Obviously it failed.
More importantly, I get to ride shotgun with my partner who drives like a bat out hell and dodge super-heated rubber as she swerves over all four lanes just cause she can, AND try and get to the animating spirit node which is now behind a (literal) firewall.
Gods I love my job.

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