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[ERROR] No.23611437 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Attention! Your attention please!
I would like to call together this meeting of the non-human factions of 40k. Our current main issue is the debate as to whether we will allow daemons into our meetings or not, due to their close association with Chaos Space Marines.

>> No.23611454

I think the joke just died.

>> No.23611469

Oh? We're not invited.
Well....
Chaos is having a tea party!
and you're not invited
>:(

>> No.23611514

om nom nom

>> No.23611524

>>23611454

Can't kill what wan't living in the first place.

>> No.23611562

>nids start eating everything
>orks start fightan everything
>tau start trying and failing to make friends with everything
>eldar start crying and holding each other
>Deldar start raping everything
>crons start yelling at everything to get off their lawn

Meeting adjourned?

>> No.23611617

>>23611562
No no. We only invite the most civil of each faction. Admittedly this doesn't help much in the Ork's case but I digress.

>> No.23611642

>>23611437
U wot m8, wen i meet you irl i swere on my mums i'll wreck you, you dirty codger

>> No.23611671

>>23611642
Go home Kharn, you're drunk.

>> No.23611689

>>23611617
How could any xeno race compare to the civility of the Tyranids? They're a massive psychic hivemind in complete comcert with each other.

>> No.23611720

>>23611689
That's why I'm the leader of the meeting. Though the Tau keep bugging me about wanting the role.

>> No.23611760

>>23611671
no you're go home!

>> No.23611773

>>23611689
>complete comcert with each other.

Yeah, that's why they still have factions arguing with each other and assimilating each other like a bunch of socialist groups on a university campus. "We all agree with the end goal, but our methodology is better than those cunts"

>> No.23611777

>>23611562
how dare you mention tau within three posts of ork.

>> No.23611801

>>23611760
Who even let you in? I can understand daemons getting in but you are clearly human, or at least formerly human now super human. You should have been stopped at the gate.

>> No.23611826

Do we include Daemons? Should we further divide ourselves into Xeno, Chaos, and Human factions? Or should we keep a dichotomy of all that is/was man and not man?

In many cases, that which WAS man bleeds into Chaos, and, in some cases, Xeno. Hench Genestealers. Should subsets of factions be excluded or included in this classification system as well?

>> No.23611828

>>23611777

Orks like fighting to become stronger
Kroot like fighting to eat the dead and become stronger.
Ork and Kroot fight together (with the internecine war strengthening both), both sides are fighters. The Tau pay both with weapons tech. Why wouldn't they be mentioned together. It's like eggs and whatever you like with eggs. A harmonious balance.

>> No.23611851

>>23611826
We do not include Daemons yet. So far, we don't allow former humans, else we would have to let all the Marines in and getting away from them was one of the reasons for forming this group.

>> No.23611891

>>23611801
wot g8 m8? I saw some orks and they said, "fancy a dance u specky grot " so i hooked em in the gabber. There's no g8 left m8. anyone got some more whisky?! for the blood god of course.....

>> No.23611972

>>23611891
Damn it! I knew I shouldn't have trusted Ghaz'gul to guard the front gate. At least the Avatar of Khaine sounds the alarm before he gets killed by intruders.

>> No.23612068

Too. Much. Heresy.

>> No.23612085

>>23612068
Lol U didn't get invite, have fun outside you dirty little codger"!

>> No.23612105

>>23612068
That's why we didn't invite you. Besides, we don't follow the Imperial Creed so its not heresy.

>> No.23612153

>>23611437

Wait, is this the no human or no humans club?

If the later, we can have one, right?

>> No.23612240

>>23612153
Its the no human factions club. And depends on who the one you want to let in is.

>> No.23612245

Tau shouldn't even be here. They have humans all over their empire.


I bet they only get in because of the blueberries.

>> No.23612267

>>23612245
Ah, but they are primarily Xenos and started as Xenos, so we allow them. Its why I get in with Genestealer cultists, and why Orks and Dark Eldar get in with Human slaves.

>> No.23612312

>>23612245
>I bet they only get in because of the blueberries.
Whatever gave you that idea?

>> No.23612363

Hi Guys, Orks reporting in.
All our wargear is getting pretty heavy, is there a palce to put it down? Where did you guys stash yours?

>> No.23612418

>>23611437
>OP clearly xenos
>thread clearly full of xenos

awfully heretical in here....

>> No.23612449

>>23612418
Purge it in flames then.

>> No.23612457

>>23612363
We don't bring Wargear to these meetings. It distracts the Orks too much.
>>23612418
again, its why you aren't invited.

>> No.23612475

>>23612363
Sumfin' ain't roit wit dis git...can't put me finga on wot it iz...

>> No.23612495

>>23611642
WYH SO INTERNET HURT IS TI BECOSE SOMEON BLOWED UP UR PLANETKILLER
OR JUST BECAUSE U R AUTISMAL AS FUCK
PROBABLY BOTH NERD
HOMO SYMPTOMS:
OWNED AT CADIA
OWNED AT CRUSADES
OWNED BY GODS
BUTT DOCTOR VERDICT:
BUTTFRUSTRATED
CRY TO2 WHORUS DIK 5EVER NOOB

>> No.23612575

Uh guys... I accidentally the Ork's brain.

>> No.23612580

>>23612495
rite buddy, you best have a good reason to be flappin your chops at me like that. I'd wreck you right now, but your Zimmer frame tells me that you're not worthy of the wrath of Khorne, have fun sucking your lemon throat lozenge whilst we get drunk and make out.... I've been eyeing up this eldar chick for ages, she screamed in terror, it's time for a struggle snuggle.

>> No.23612585

>>23612575
You... what?

The hell's that?

>> No.23612596

>>23612575
You... you what!?! And the hell is that?

>> No.23612598 [DELETED] 

Oh, come now, surely you can make room for us? We can be decidedly inhuman sometimes; the only difference between you and us is that we come from the next dimension over. Plus, it's not just humans we associate with; some of us associate with the Eldar quite a lot as well.

If that's not enough to sweeten the deal, I could always bring cake...

>> No.23612634

Oh, come now, surely you can make room for us? We can be decidedly inhuman sometimes; the only difference between you and us is that we come from the next dimension over. Plus, it's not just humans we associate with; some of us associate with the Eldar quite a lot as well.

If that's not enough to sweeten the deal, I could always bring cake...

>> No.23612660

>>23612596
I guess you haven't heard of us Simulcura, have you?

>> No.23612661

You guys ain't shit.

>> No.23612671

>>23612634
Well, its not just that. Its also that many of our member races, myself included, disrupt your presence. Meetings might be hard if your warp signature is being blocked by the Shadow in the Warp or Necron pylons.

>> No.23612677

>>23612661
STFU, a good merchant can't even make some profit without all you doomsday faggots shitting the galaxy up.

>> No.23612700

>>23612580

I hav neer seen sum1 so pooper peeved u ned to tak chilpil and stop raping your ownasswit with ur dickhands you are the gayest fgt in the eye of terror, no u r the warmaster of fgts lol u troled so fukin hard u wan sum ice for the ASSBURN?

U cry tears of blud and cum eliaphs's penis out your angry butthole gb2 pussybaby land where u git own3d by dick "omg i love sukn dicks and crying to my husband horus" -You ur butt is evaporting cum bcuz it is bein deeped strike by fagdar

SUMBUDY IS ANALLY ANGUISHED its lik u r seeding wit raeg

>> No.23612728

>>23612700
Now now, no need to get angry. Just ignore him. He doesn't even belong here.

>> No.23612738

I don't understand why you can't include our daemon friends. I get along just fine.

>> No.23612739 [DELETED] 

Hey guys, where's the coat rack?

>> No.23612747

>>23612700
I can't year you over the sound of eldar pussy, cya l8r m8.... at least I have a dick m8. I'm busy, I'll get ,my lad to sort you out.

>> No.23612756

Hey guys, where's the coat rack?

>> No.23612775

>>23612756
In the back right corner where it has always been. Now hurry up, our other Necron representative has not been very diplomatic.

>> No.23612782

>>23612747
WHATS IT LEIK BEING MAD AL DA TIME? HAV U BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH FAGGETITUS A YET? MAYB IF U STOPED STEELING BLAK FORKTRESES AND FILLING IT WIT UR STEEMY HERT JUIZE U COULD AFFORD 2 GET TREATED BUT INSTEAD UR ALWAYZ GOING 2 B BUTTSUICIDAL.

I ALMOST FEEL SORYR 4 UR 13 FAIHULED CRUSADE BUT DEN I REALISE UR ALWAYS GOING 2 B BUTTDEVESTATED

>> No.23612794

>>23612677
>hello, stranger.
>what are ya buying?

>> No.23612803

>>23612738
Personally I'm all for it, but some of the races have expressed concerns.

>> No.23612812

>>23612775
OK thanks...

Hey, remind me again, where do you keep the jewelry?

>> No.23612815

>>23611437
I have spoken to the Chaos space marine and he told me he believes in "The Greater God" that is only one letter away from Greater Good, so I say we let them in and with a little persuasion they will be productive members of society.

>> No.23612821

>>23612738

That hardly counts, you "get along well" with everyone.

>> No.23612835

Okay guys, I have to ask a question. Are mimics allowed? Me and my simulcura friend would like to know.
Furthermore, what should we do about the Cryptos? They have to posses people in order to have a solid form!

>> No.23612838

>>23612756
alright bud, could you calm your m8 down, I don't wanna have to grab any skulls tonight, I'm just hear for the banter but it's gunna get heated if he keeps mouthin me off. I can tell you're alright but this guy's just... well there aint no reasonin with him. I'm just here for the good time man.

>> No.23612839

>>23611524

Says you.

>> No.23612857

>>23612835
Mimics are allowed. You only appear human, you aren't actually human.
>>23612815
They said Greater Gods. Thats a two letter difference. And we already agreed on no marines. Daemons are the ones for consideration.

>> No.23612919

SUCK MY DIIIIIIIICK, I'M A SHAAAAAAARK!

>> No.23612943

Commoraghans reporting in.
Demons should not be allowed in. Both my kin and the silly craftworld kin are not really comfortable with them.

>> No.23612962

>>23612838
Who? Oh, Semerkhet. Haha yea, don't mind him, he woke from the Great Sleep a little... off. His heart's in the right pace but he's a bit overenthusiastic about things.

Nice watch, by the way...

>> No.23612967

>>23612943
Some of us would like the Chaos powers to join us, Eldar.

>> No.23612986

>>23612857
BOOO! Demons have no testicles. How are we going to mass steril---er never mind.

>> No.23613001

>>23612967
Do you even realize what that would mean to the 2/7 participating ambassadors at this meeting?

>> No.23613012

>>23612943
But we don't bring weapons to the meetings. Its not like fights break out too often.
Sides you got comfortable to me and I see you all as a lunch menu

>> No.23613014

>>23612962
thanks man, you're absolutely glowing tonight.

>> No.23613025

>>23612756
I wonder...

Necron Flayers wear human skins and blend in perfectly, right? Does it work the other way round?

>> No.23613041

>>23613001
The Umbra would like to suggest you reconsider your stance. Daemonkind is friend to many of us.

>> No.23613048

>>23613012
It's not as much the weapons as the soul devouring demonettes of She Who Thirsts.

>> No.23613063

>>23613048
If it makes you feel better, they could sit between me and the Necrons. Make sure they don't do any sudden actions.

>> No.23613067

>>23613025
I observed an Ork attempt that once. The result was fascinating. I'm sure he's still in my storage room, somewhere...

>> No.23613092

>>23613041
Yeah I had a bad experience with a demon, this one time a crystal in one tried to corrupt me, so i smashed it. I don't really enjoy people trying to force there opinions upon me, but I'm all for fair discussion. I just don't think they're reasonable when it comes to consultation.

>> No.23613095

>>23613048
Pffft. It's not our fault you guys fucked yourself a new chaos power.

>> No.23613110

>>23613067
WE KEN PUT DIS ORK TOGETHA FASTERER, CHOPPIER, MORE DAKKIER.

>> No.23613111

>>23613048
look, dammit, we let the Nids in. those of us who know this 'souls' business is so much superstitious nonsense find these complaints regarding soul-eating outright offensive when weighted against the body-eating nature of the Nids and the willingness of your kin to alter the flesh just so it has more capacity to feel pain.

>> No.23613114

>>23613092
Wait thats it! We will have Reasonable Daemonette be the Daemon ambassador. That way they can meet without incident.

>> No.23613132

>>23613114
I'd like to have an incident with her, if you know what I mean....

>> No.23613135

>>23613041
With all due respect, sir. I don't mean to offend in any way but it is a safety hazard for most Eldar to be in the presence of a demon.
I suppose I'll have to get myself a Tear of Isha then.

>>23613063
If they start attending the meetings I suppose that would be the best place to seat them.

>>23613111
Fine, by Khaine, then let them join.

>> No.23613168

>>23613135
Alright then, if there are no other objections, the motion to allow Daemons carries.
Any other orders of business?

>> No.23613188

>>23613168
You guys got any projects you're working on? The slaugh on willing to get some genetic grafts done for you lot.

>> No.23613189

>>23613168
yeah, when do we dance?! by Khorne i came to groove and there will be groove!!

>> No.23613205

>>23613063

I say we let them stay. Old Khaine himself is technically a demon and I'm sure that at these meetings we can all civil.

Plus they stopped returning my calls and this seems to be the only place I will get to see them.

>> No.23613206

>>23613189
Well I suppose I need a partner for Lanciers. May I have this dance?

>> No.23613219

>>23613188
Still working on bio plasma exploding ripper Swarms. Its a lot harder of a project than it seems.

>> No.23613234

>>23613205
Well... Cegorach, you are kind of a jerk to them.

>> No.23613248

>>23612671

That is indeed an issue, and most courteous of you to consider it. However, we might be able to find ways round such a problem; the Necrons' own Codex shows that we have ways into their pocket dimensions, and surely yourselves have consumed planets with Chaos worshippers on before?

If nothing else, we could always agree to host future meetings on a Daemon World; we would be happy to have guests. It does mean travelling out to the Eye of Terror, but we'd be happy to recompense your travel costs - or provide a few hundred million slaves as biomass, or something. I'm sure we can work something out.

>>23613048

After all that rape, it seems churlish of your species to want nothing to do with the 'children' you've produced. Come, we only wish reconciliation; we promise not to do anything to your souls that you don't want us to. If you wish, we can offer you slaves as well, in recognition of your... cultural attempts to ward us away.

>> No.23613251

Can I bring my Face-Biter Squig in or do I need keep him outside?
He doesn't get along very well with other pets, poor thing.

>> No.23613259

>>23613189

Damn it, Kharne! Get down from there!

>> No.23613260

>>23613206
What R U gay m8? just kidding, let's boogy. Everyone knows first on first on the dance floor gets the poontang!

>> No.23613271

>>23613048
As much as I dislike this godless heathen I must agree, no deamons!

>> No.23613286

>>23613271
...
You're a bit late, Farseer.

>> No.23613290

>>23613259
How about you come up here, I'll let you craft my world tonight baby....>>23613260 can you tell I've been working out?

>> No.23613296

>>23613248
Well, won't the shadow in the warp cause problems with that? Just looking for you guys.

>> No.23613315

>>23613286
I'm sorry, I've had to deal with psykic visions of the human fucking things up while you were here playing with your dick.

>> No.23613319

>>23613248
How about we all go to a world no-one would care about? Like a human world?

>> No.23613320

Must we always put up with these insufferable Eldar? They are a massive liability to us with their vulnerability to the warp.

>> No.23613333

>>23613290

...

>> No.23613358

>>23613315
Why are you so aggressive? If anything you and I should be looking out for each other, we are after all kinsmen. I was looking out for you when I said "no demons".
Thanks a lot!

>>23613320
I'm gonna pretend I did not hear that.

>> No.23613363

>>23613319
Good idea. I here Cadia is a pretty nice place to visit.

>> No.23613366

>>23611437
Wot if we let dem demon boyz in but first dey gotta give us back Tuska?

I fink eets a good plan.

>> No.23613372

Well shit. Szarekh paged me just now... bustin my balls about procuring this or that whatever relic he needs, so I have to bail. Send me a copy of the minutes to look over later. I'll be sure to bring any input or proposals the other Phaerons have for the next meeting.

It was nice meeting you all, and thanks again for the awesome party bag. So much cool stuff... I can tell you really thought a lot about it, especially this infinity circuit. I mean goodness! I didn't realize you Eldar had enough of these things to be handing them out like this.

>> No.23613373

>>23611801
Hey fucker! I still hate you for eating my race!

Anyrate if we don't let in faggots because they associate so closely with humans how come you fuckers let me in the eldar with the black library, me, those orks who fight as mercs for humans, and the kroot?

And hold it fucker! You say no humans allowed but I happen to KNOW MOST of your biomass is made up of humans, and you have fucked plenty of humans for your precious half human genestealers! A great bit of irony you won't let daemons in because they have human cults when you in fact are porkin em to get some for yourself!

>> No.23613375

>>23613296
The Yu'vath suggest that our good friend finds himself a good corporeal form to posses to circumvent this issue.

>> No.23613396

>>23613373
>implying you're not a high-gravity world human

>> No.23613397

>>23613358
I apologize my heathen brother, you know irritating those filthy humans can be.
>>23613363
Oh I heard they have the nicest beach there!

>> No.23613406

>>23613373
Hey, you guys are lucky I even regurgitatted you to let you take part in this meeting.
And most of my biomass is made from creatures from the 12 galaxies I ate before I got here.

>> No.23613410 [DELETED] 

>>23613333
You're smoking tonight, you can just keep staring or you can get involved. your choice. >>23613372
What the hell you're leaving already, the party has just begun!?

>> No.23613435

>>23613373
Look everyone! A demi-human! If humans are already less than people, this one must be like their pet!

>> No.23613440

>>23613396
The fuck you say to me?

Dems fightin words!

>> No.23613451

>>23613333
>>23613333
You're smoking tonight, you can just keep staring or you can get involved. your choice.
What the hell you're leaving already, the party has just begun!?>>23613372

>> No.23613487

>>23613296

The Shadow does cause us certain disruptions, true. But think of it like a slightly de-tuned pict-channel; with proper boosters, one may overcome the interference. Our kind have several iconic shapes which may be used to strengthen our presence; we would need only to place some around the meeting hall, and that should be enough to guard our safety. Besides, yourselves manage to overcome the Necron Pylon issue for the duration of the meeting without it blackening out your Shadow; I'm sure there are ways we might work round it.

So, see everyone on Cadia next meeting? I'll work on the preparations in the meantime!

>> No.23613488

>>23613451

>> No.23613542

>>23613487
Sounds good. I'll call Creed so he can prepare. So glad our Genestealers got him.

>> No.23613552

>>23613358
(This is me, I figure taking a name will make me easier to recognize when I run out of sweet DE pictures)
>>23613488
Shhh. He won't hurt you, he just wants to dance, you can always say no if he asks you for something else.

>> No.23613561

>>23613271
As much as I hate to admit it, The spawn of the Old Ones are right.

This should be a materium only meeting, however any daemons who want to join should step right into to this tesseract so we can better here your statements.

>> No.23613579

>>23613488
There's no need to cry... here have a human skull, this ones from commissar of one of those drim-dark kriegers, it's got his "name" on it.

>> No.23613582

>>23613561
I think I'm starting to like you.

>> No.23613589

>>23613579

>> No.23613600

>>23613552
>>23613552

You're a faking faker who practices fakeology!

>> No.23613621

>>23613552
Can I call you skrillex? I'm gunna call you skrillex, or do you prefer skrill?

>> No.23613651

>>23613600
Okay... maybe he will rape you the second you dance with him, hell if I know.
But seriously though... You gotta start to trust me and maybe I won't raid that Biel-Tan warship in a few cycles time... I think I said too much.

>>23613621
...
I guess I prefer Skrill.

>> No.23613676

>>23613600
I hear your still a virgin Macha. Eldrad wanted me to remind of that fact.

>> No.23613677

I detect hersey, anyone here being heretical?

>> No.23613691

>>23613677
Nope, no heresy here, boss.

>> No.23613698

>>23613676
It's a good thing you did, or else thousands of Eldar would have died. Probably.

>> No.23613713

>>23613651
I like you skrill, you're alright, can you teach me how to dougie?

>> No.23613720

>>23613676
I don't see what that has to do with semi-political matters. I guess that could be fixed easily but that's not what we are here for.

>> No.23613753

>>23613676

I WILL FUCK YOU WITH A RAKE!

>> No.23613760

>>23613713
No, not even if Vaul himself threatened to chain me would I teach you how to dougie!

>> No.23613761

>>23613691
>>23613691
Alright, just making sure before i call in something you all regret, Good day then to you inquisitor.

>> No.23613769

>>23613677
Like said you aren't invited to the meetings, its only for cool kids.

Now go back to your corpse god and your decaying empire and we can go back to having fun.

>pic related: fun

>> No.23613777

>>23613760
Those are some big knives you've got there. Compensating for something?

>> No.23613789

>>23613769
This guy gets it!

>>23613760
What do you not know it? that's disappointing what do you know? Watch this robot man!

>> No.23613817

>>23613552
>>23613582
>>23613651
>>23613720
>>23613760
Man, whenever I see the new Dark Eldar I just think 'sith'. These guys would make the best sith lords ever.

>> No.23613819

>>23613720
Oh come on space vampire, virgins aren't any fun.
>>23613753
Says the thousand year old virgin.

>> No.23613862

Is there anything else we need to discuss?

>> No.23613882

>>23613769
Necron scum, i patrol these threads for Hersey and you being here is enough to limit an exterminatus on this thread. Do not question me again or face the wraith of the imperial guard and the god emprah!

>> No.23613887 [DELETED] 

>>23613862
where'd you get that sword? It looks great.

>> No.23613898

>>23613862
where'd you get that sword? It looks great.

>> No.23613899

>>23613769
speaking of, brothers.
A stable cease fire would ensure their destruction within the setting and make the game more interesting as we fight of dominance over their corpse.

I think we're all a bit bored fighting one chapter or another and I know if I see another Cadian regiment I'm gonna short circuit.

At the very least the variety of our conflicts will increase and we can go back to having fun when we go to war and not have to worry about the same bass ackwards hairless chimps killing our fun with monotony.

I swear if I hear another argument about who was the greatest primarch I'm gonna flip.

>> No.23613904

>>23613862
Whose turn is it to pay for drinks?

>> No.23613913

>>23613882
>Hersey
That sounds like it could be the name of a West Coast city or something. Bizarro-New Jersey, maybe.

>> No.23613939

>>23613898
I bought it along with the armour from an incubus.
Thank you for noticing, I spent an hour or so polishing it before going to this meeting.

>>23613904
I believe it is my turn.

>> No.23613997

>>23613882
Whats the matter Cain, scared?
I know for a fact you fear us more than any daemon or xenos.

Also good luck exterminatusing this planet the our orbital defense is the greatest in the galaxy and unless you have the authority to bring the full might of terra upon us we aren't going anywhere.

Now shut up and you and your other Imperial faggot friends go home so we can enjoy ourselves without the worst and most boring part of our galaxy trying to interject themselves in our conversation.

>> No.23614021

>>23613753
Do you want to come along too and get some drinks? Maybe we can hook you up with some nice Eldar.

>> No.23614039

Right, you're all frigid and all boring and there's no blood or skulls. I'm going, Kharn out.

>> No.23614192

>>23614021
Oh good, she isn't going to end up like some mutilated monstrosity is she?

>> No.23614226

>>23613997
>>23613997
Scared? No im not scared of you, no you may be living in a planet far from us. But you seen how strong we can be when have to get shit done, we brought the might of a million worlds under our banner. Destroyed thousands of planets, killed untold billions if not trillions for the sake of some xeno looking at us the wrong way. You shall see, in due time in the battle for your planet. I shall ram my sword down your throat and you better hope when you see your brethren die all around by the might of armies before we even commence an exterminatus. I shall amass the greatest fleet in the history of the imperiourm to bring down your disgusting planet, so sit down you filthy dog, you may have ruled the galaxy before us but it all went to shit cause you couldn't keep well away from your own pleasures.

Now i must go and talk this through, next time you see me. I will be raining fire down on your planet and your eyes will grow at the sight of my blade as it pierces your heart, good day to you filthy xeno.

---===END VOX TRANSMISSION===---

>> No.23614260

>>23614192
Not that type of hook up... I'm not a haemonculus. I meant get her drunk to the point where she won't divine the fate of the guy we hook her up with so she won't have to worry too much about eventual broken hearts and sad futures until the morning after.
Yeah, I studied the farseers of the craftworlds. I find them intriguing.

>> No.23614357

>>23614226
>The might of a million worlds
>thinks that makes them unique powerful or important

Lol, humanity will never truly except how small they are.

> you may have ruled the galaxy before us but it all went to shit cause you couldn't keep well away from your own pleasures

Who the fuck do you think you're talking too?
Do I look like an Elf?

>> No.23614455

Why would you not invite me, the cruelest creature in the galaxy?

>> No.23614463

>>23614192
...Maybe...

>> No.23614475

>>23614455
Because you are in the big league and we didn't think you'd care about us, oh Overlord of Evil.

>>23614463
Oh... hello. Are you the new Ambassador for She Who Thists?

>> No.23614500

>>23614475
...Uh... sure... let's go with that...

...So I hear you've got some virginal Craftworld Eldar here?

>> No.23614514

>>23614475
Clearly you doubted the supreme evil.

>> No.23614530

>>23614500
I think she left when I asked her out for drinks *sniff*

>> No.23614534

Oi! I say, we all get tagetha and go crump dem spiky 'umies! Den dem majick gitz can join us cuz they ain't part of no 'umie group!

>> No.23614569

>>23614530
Ugh, males...

>>23614534
Hold your tounge Greenskin!
If you kill all the humans, from whence shall all the babies flow?

>> No.23614622

My personal opinion on the matter is that the supplicants of the Chaos Gods are far too untrustworthy to admit to formal strategic meetings, human or monster. I do however maintain their usefulness in the field of battle as cannon fodder between your valuable troops and the enemy lines. Although I would like to move that the Tzeench daemons be avoided at all costs, due to their manipulative and conniving nature. Of course I am quite guilty of those vices, but at least I will shake your hand before drawing my blade on you.

>> No.23614661

>>23614622
Agreed, it's like those damn bluebirds have some kind of chronic backstabbing disorder or something...

>> No.23614669

>>23614569
Wutz a babiez? Is them those small, runty 'umies dat ain't no gud fur nuttin? Why'd we wants ta keep dem around? Dey ain't no gud for foightin'!

>> No.23614694

>>23614669
Because they grow into more humans, and the birthing process is very Slaaneshi...

>> No.23614722

>>23614694
I think it's weird we still worship your kind through our acts but not in our words.
How do you do it? Tell me how you can be so manipulative.

>> No.23614770

>>23614722
Idunno...
We're pretty much the manifestation of your psionic resonances, so it's more like we're the result of your actions rather then the cause...

...Sort of like sex and BABIES...
...Could do without the penises though...

>> No.23614791

>>23614694

There is nothing Slaanesh related in the biological birthing process. Animals of all sorts have been squeezing out infants since before even my mighty people were clever enough to scratch two rocks together and make fire. There is no genuflecting ritual involved in forcing a small copy of themselves out of their fragile pelvises, it just happens.

>> No.23614820

>>23614039

>Kharne

Go home you fuck, you're drunk.

And look at all these neat gifts from all these xenos....

>> No.23614822

>>23614770
Well some guys like that... You know women with an... extra appendage.

>> No.23614834

>>23614791
And when was the last time you were pregnant, HUH?!?!
When was the last time your tombs knew the joyous sounds of skittering little Necron feet?

>> No.23614879

>>23614834
Harsh man.
You know they can't reproduce properly.
Ouch.

>> No.23614881

>>23614834

We perform extensive studies on the biological creatures of this millennium.

And just the other day one of my Transmogrifier Neophytes was tinkering on a design for improved Scrabs, so actually my halls have been quite full of exited skittering, thank you very much.

And now that I think of it, how did you get in here? This meeting was supposed to be private.

>> No.23614887

>>23613997
>tau scum

I hope you realize your folly when your race starts getting ass-raped by daemons, and only then will you realize the Imperium is right

>> No.23614898

>>23614822
Oh please, why have some blood-filled ridged rod that wants to be thrust in everywhere?
Sounds too damn Khornate to me...

No, PREHENSILE GENTACLE VAGINAS are the true Slaaneshi sexual organ!

>> No.23614919

>>23614881
There was mention of virginal Craftworld Eldar, I FOUND A WAY!

>> No.23615007

>>23614898
Wanna get out of here?

>> No.23615013

>>23611437
OKAY......

Why do the Tyranids invite a Xenos conclave?

WRY????

they don't like ANYONE..they just can't ally!!!

it's fluff supported too, your either a true breed, a geneseeded cultist, or you're Fuckign Food!!!!!

>> No.23615033

>>23615013
Quiet, you. Genestealers/zoats are back.

>> No.23615042

>>23615013

You forgot God-Emperor worshipping badass in there

>> No.23615046

>>23615033
This isn't about ALLYING you daft idiot!

No one is here drawing up battleplans with Tau outflanking for dark eldar!

We are here to simply discuss non-human issues.

Any prior allegiance of affiliations is unchanged. That would take commitment, and more importantly change the metaplot.

>> No.23615050

>>23615013
Because they want to at least TRY being diplomatic...

...And we of the Daughters of Peace would like to try to teach them about renewable farming techniques!

>> No.23615056

>>23615042
>corpse worshiping fool

Fixed that for you.

>> No.23615062

>>23615013
As much as I loathe to be the one to come to Iash-Uddra's defense, anyone can call a summit to discuss how to wipe humanity away from the galaxy. Had I called it, I don't believe the Eldar or the Rape Elves would have bothered to make an appearance. Mindless beasts cannot align themselves with others, but the state you have seen them in is only a shattered fragment of their true destructive power. I prefer to curry favor before the planet-fall, if you don't mind.

>> No.23615090

>>23615056
Dammit Necoho, who let you in?

>> No.23615108

>>23615056

>corpse

Well that corpse made you run with your tails between your armor back to the eye of terror

>xenos

Ready to accept your one and true master?

>> No.23615109

>>23615090
It certainly wasn't a god.
Because they don't exist.

>> No.23615146

THOOOOMP

>> No.23615150

Great way to improve the plight of Xenos everywhere...


KILL MAT WARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

/thread.

>> No.23615167

>>23615150
You can't /thread yourself

>> No.23615178

>>23615109

Tzeentch go home you're drunk

>> No.23615190

>>23615150
If only it were that easy...

And don't /thread yourself. It makes you look like a faggot.

>> No.23615230

>>23615146
Bah, small time bio-mecha, did you ever even leave the Galaxy?

>> No.23615239

>>23615178
Oh boy, back to the day job.
>implying tzeentch exists
>implying if he did he would manifest here
>implying I exist
>implying you exist
>implying I can't stop drinking whenever I want

>> No.23615273

>>23615230
The reapers live in the space between galaxies

>> No.23615283

>>23615239
You do have a serious problem with the drink though. For starters I've been swapping your gin with liquid petroleum for the last two weeks.

>> No.23615369

>>23615283
I honestly can't tell the difference.
In fact I doubt it, maybe gin was always tar black and caused my insides to ignite whenever I smoked. You're all just mixing them up.

>> No.23615384

>>23615273
No, they live in Dark Space, AKA the space beyond the fringes of the Milky Way Galaxy...
Were there ever any implications that they had expanded outside of it?

>> No.23615415

>>23615384
>>23615273
>>23615230
THOOOOOMP!

>> No.23615460

>>23615384
I don't think so.
There main purpose was to stop advanced life from evolving in the galaxy

>> No.23615470

>>23615384
Nope. They were just mucking about just outside the galaxy.

>> No.23615472

>>23615415
Oh nonexistent false gods stop making that noise.
The petroleum already is giving me a headache I don't need this.

>> No.23615475

>>23615415
Oh look, he's glassing... what is that... a few acres of land?

Jeez, did you have some weeds you needed to get rid of?

>> No.23615494

>>23615415

>reapers
>being anywhere near advanced to even the tau or the Imperium

Enjoy getting your ass kicked by the entire 40k universe

>> No.23615560

>>23615494
To be honest, if the reapers existed on the 40k universe they would have exterminated those races long ago
Chaos and the nids on the other hand...

>> No.23615573

>>23615472
>>23615475
THOMP!

>>23615494
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZd_LWAs3Xs

>> No.23615587

>>23615560
How often do they do their culling?
How long did it take for Mankind to go THROUGH the Dark Age of Technology?

>> No.23615665

>>23615587
Every fifty thousand years
Though they would probably be fighting the tyranids constantly

>> No.23615717

I'm back. Sorry had some business to take care of. Some Noming buisness.

>> No.23615739

>>23615717
I think some reapers are trying to crash the meeting
Might want to do something about that

>> No.23615777

>>23615739
Again? How many times do I have to tell them this is 40k races.
>>23615665
Actually we are the best of friends. After all, we don't make AI so they have no reason to kill us.

>> No.23615791

>>23615665
>Every fifty thousand years
50,000... Warhammer 40,000...

...Son do you even Math?

>> No.23615850

>>23615791
That's 40,000 AD though. Don't forget the BC time.

>> No.23615886

>>23615850
So when in BC did Empy do his Shaman Gattai thing?
Because I'm pretty sure the Reapers didn't cull races of barely sapient hunter-gathers...

>> No.23615933

>>23615886
No idea. What do I know of human history?

>> No.23615971

Wait a minute, organic machines, hate of all life, super advanced tech, remnants of an ancient race...
Are reapers necrons?

>> No.23615981

>>23615971
I think they might be cousins. Maybe the C'tan meddled with another race in a different galaxy?

>> No.23615992

>>23615933
Wow you all are so young. I remember it like it was yesterday, all those little apes worshiping animal gods and fucking with things they had no idea about.
I remember the Emperor came into existence around 8,000 BC. after some weird warp bullshit that made my house vibrate for a few seconds.
Humanity was still basically cavemen so even with the Emperor around the Reapers would probably pass them over.

The Eldar on the other hand would have to fight off the weird space cuttlefish, and probably win as this was pre slaaneshi times.

>> No.23615993

>>23615971
Tyranids are organic machines. Necrons are just machines.

>> No.23616019

>reapers in 40k

those squids are seriously fucked. they may be an apocalyptic thread in the mass effect universe, but i doubt anyone would bat an eyebrow if they showed up here. If only because the average Chaos frigate is far, far worse than any reaper.

>> No.23616027

>>23615992
So yeah, the entire history of the Imperium happend in the time it takes the Space Squids to get off their asses again.

>> No.23616030

>>23615992
I'm not young. I've just been in different galaxies. Do you know how long it takes to cross a galaxy?

>> No.23616112

>>23616030
Yeah, you were still gobbling up Glorthians at the time.

Ha, Glorthians. Those were a fun bunch. One of them even managed to summon me once and try to be a Necohian cultist, so I implied his house out of existence and he got eaten by a few gaunts. Its what you get for trying to believe in the god of atheism.

>> No.23616132

>>23615850
They don't harvest pre-industrial civilizations, it seems. That's the explanation for why none of the currently dominant species know of them; they were all mucking about with rocks when the Reapers did their last drive-by.

>> No.23616230

>>23616132
Are there any synthetic life-forms in the 40k universe? If not, the reapers probably wouldn't care and just move on

>> No.23616272

>>23616230
I have no idea about Machine Spirits and Logic Engines, but Necrons are pretty sure to qualify. However, the Reapers would get stomped by pretty much any of the major factions in 40k, so they're really not that much of a problem.

>> No.23616290

>>23616230
Well there is the Necrons and the Tau robots.
The Men of Iron tried to pull a geth uprising and kicked humanity's ass until getting eventually destroyed. I think there are a few left but they just sit in old libraries.

>> No.23616297

>>23616272
I wonder how indoctrination would affect the 40k universe.

>> No.23616321

>>23616297
I don't think it's worse than their average psychic dickery and Chaotic corruption.

>> No.23616336

>>23616297
Its probably pretty weaksauce compared to the whisper of dark gods whenever you get a boner.
Anyone suspected of indoctrination would probably get immediately blammed just like anyone who would dare stop thinking about the glorious emperor. There wouldn't be any Sarens as any bit of suspicious activity leads to summary execution.
Mass Effect is noblebright compared to 40k.

>> No.23616364

>>23616336
Well, keep in mind they would have been doing this for fifty thousand years
And fifty thousand years before that

>> No.23616435

>>23616364
They've been doing it for at least 37 million years. They're not that good at it, it would seem. Many of their ships get trashed by what they state to be technological primitives.

>> No.23616592

WE HAVE INTERCEPTED A TRANSMISSION FROM SOME REAPERS REFERRING TO A "MEETING"
WHY HAVE WE NOT RECEIVED AN INVITATION

>> No.23616612

>>23616592
Because I said 40K races, 40k races!
You guys are awesome though.

>> No.23616635

>>23616592
Honestly? Because we didn't bother to make this place wheelchair accessible. And don't start yapping about that trick you do at parties where you look like you're floating in the air.

>> No.23616647

>>23616336
Right, because Radical Inquisitors get blammed all the time before doing anything suspicious/bad. Oh wait, nope, no they don't.

>> No.23616720

>>23616297
Not much. It's no worse than what they've been dealing with for the last ten thousand years.

>> No.23617431

>>23615981
Well that is how you got here, endless swarm.

>> No.23617512

>>23617431
Shhhhh... We're keeping that on the down low until the C'tan/ Tyranid secret alliance's plan can come to fruition.

>> No.23617561

>>23617512

>> No.23621092

>>23611469

Oh did we "forget" to invite Typhus the Smelly Bastard again?

>> No.23624579

>>23612475
What mod is this?

>> No.23624588

>>23624579
Ork butthole mod

>> No.23624611

I sure do hate the Imperium! Now lets talk about secrets...

>> No.23624613

>>23624579
Why would you care? Orkz are the shittest 40k race. Eldar rep

>> No.23624623

>>23624613

In Dawn of War at least...

>> No.23624630

>>23624611

>> No.23624632

>>23624623
tabletop too

>> No.23624642

>>23612700
>Warmaster of Faggots

WHY, WHAT AN EXCELLENT IDEA!

>> No.23624646

>>23624630

I'll get it.

>> No.23624655

>>23624632

Eldar aren't very good in the tabletop(on a competitive level)

>> No.23627055

>>23612812
Left pocket. It's the one with the chocolate in it

>> No.23627088

>>23624655
Not anymore. Hell most armies that aren't marines of some kind, or IG, are currently sub-par on a competitive level.

>>
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