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[ERROR] No.23161731 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Gentleman, how do we make Orkz scary?

Not scary as in "Huh, that Cockney Hooligan is really tough" but scary as in "HOLY FUCK PLEASE DON'T EAT ME".

>> No.23161745

Ork Commandos.

>> No.23161756

Gorgutz was best ork. WHY YOU NO BRING BACK THQ? Not that Bluddflagg wasn't also awesome.

>> No.23161767

In what context? Video game, story, tabletop, or RPG?

>> No.23161793

In the books, the orkz are damn scary. Emphasis on the brutality.

>> No.23161801

>how do we make Orkz scary

Two words.

More dakka.

>> No.23161821


RPG mostly. I've sent my group to a garden world that was hit by an Ork Waagh! about two weeks ago. I'm trying to actually make them..well, respect, the Orkz in the way you would respect a very hungry lion that is three feet away from you.

>> No.23161822

What makes Orks funny is their speech.

Remember that most Orks only speak Ork, which humans can't understand.

So for the average guardsman, the Ork has all of the brutality, with none of the silliness.

>> No.23161849


Make them want to eat you.

>> No.23161852


>Holy fuck please don't eat me.

You have the solution right there. Have the Orkz eat humans alive, because they ran out of squigs.

>> No.23161858

My players didn't find orks scary.
Until I ran the first part of Final Testament,

Just them, a few squads, inside the wreck of a dropship. Orks everywhere. With every breach I emphasized the violence the orks had on any guardsmen unlucky enough to be there.

A guardsmen shooting down three gretchin to have the forth stick a knife in his neck while laughing as he reaches out to the pcs for help gasping for air and put the fear of an ork in you.

>> No.23161870

Not only that.
Orks are almost never alone. They are a horde, a scourge.

One ork, yeah, maybe you could take. But five? Ten? Fifty? A Hundred?

>> No.23161879

Kick the accent, that doesn't do anything for taking them seriously. They'll have a rough voice, and a hint of the accent but tone it way down. In fact, since it's the RPG, they shouldn't speak gothic anyway.

Focus on how brutal life as an ork must be. Every day is a fight, every argument decided by physical prowess, preferably with weapons thrown in. Random violence is a part of daily survival, for no reason other than for the sake of it. Orks are the epitome of what all the adaptations of Heart of Darkness are trying to tell us; they're what any sentients would become when they live outside the rules.

Stop glorifying war. Show your players how brutal war really is. Demonstrate how messy it is to kill someone, and not in the madcap or funny way. Show them how utterly pointless their efforts to end another life are, and extend that to apply to everyone in the universe. And then show them that the orks relish in it. Orks are war. Show them how horrifying war is, and you'll drag the Orks down with it.

>> No.23161881

An' more choppy.

>> No.23161934


dont change ork fluff into herp scary orkz

>> No.23161936

Show them how cruel Orkz can be. Have them literally tear other guardsmen in two with their bare hands. Have another guardsmen being swarmed by crazed gretchin that stab him to death.

And Kommandos. Dear god, show them Kommandos.

>> No.23161959

It's a giant wave of armoured angry green giants.
Try to set the tone in a way that conveys that even if they killed this group, there's always still an army more to deal with. And the orks are tough, too, even beneath the aforementioned armour.

>> No.23161968

''How to make the Orks not fun'' The Thread.

>> No.23161992

Orks are fun if you're seeing things from their perspective.

From everyone else's they are scary as fuck.

>> No.23161999

Mebbe sum Choppy Dakka.
That, or make our fungal spores more killy.

>> No.23162012

Make them jovially slaughter in the most brutal ways possible. Laughing in genuine child-like amusement at the violence they cause. Explain in detail the said violence and the fact that orks are hard enemies to kill.

They're only funny to the reader and in Imperial propaganda

>> No.23162017


this is why:
>Not that Bluddflagg wasn't also awesome.

the reason is this

>> No.23162027

isnt Ork evolved from low Gothic? They even looted their language?

>> No.23162031

You know what's fun about Orkz? If you shoot a human in the chest with a bolter, he'll die without any further notice. If you shoot an Ork in the chest with an bolter, he'll laugh in your face before he rips out your spine and strangles you with it.

>> No.23162040

''I will miss this banter once you are dead, Ork''

''Millennia pass, but Ork slaying remains an unchanging pleasure''

-Eliphas the Inheritor

Orks are fun from all perspectives!

>> No.23162048

A bolter can do serious damage to an Ork.

Of course that will just make him fight harder, because he wants to loot your fancy dakka.

>> No.23162059

Oh Eliphas, they sure did turn you into a saturday morning cartoon villain for DoW 2.

>> No.23162061

You give them back their lethality, and make them more of a threat on their own as opposed to the "puppet antagonist" that hides the real threat (chaos), or the go-to beatstick for when some new hero needs to sound boss.

Orks were at their scariest during the 3rd Armageddon campaign, and the Eye of Terror campaign. The latter more for what the playerbase accomplished.

>> No.23162068

hahaha, oh lord I love Orks

>> No.23162075


I want to see at least one story in which Chaos tries to use Orks as their puppet antagonists, and ends up getting doublecrossed and outwitted by some kunnin' warboss or big mek because they underestimated their pawns, then Orks become the main threat.

>> No.23162080

I have to say, the cain books do a pretty good job establishing just how scary orks are.

>> No.23162084

what did they accomplish, asks the noob?

>> No.23162095

>Of course that will just make him fight harder, because he wants to loot your fancy dakka.

Not necessarily. And shootas are just about as damaging as a bolter, just without the explosive part (firing a large bore slug as opposed to a smaller explosive bolt).

There is a story in the 3rd ed Ork codex of an Ork taking a bolter round to the shoulder, it blowing a chunk off, and making him angry. Orks don't bleed out, and are supposed to be immensely tough to fully kill.

>> No.23162104

That short story 15 hours, although it's more about the guardsman protagonist than the orks that he's sent to war against, does a good job making them scary, since it's from the perspective of one confused, frightened raw recruit.

>> No.23162121

Bolters fire explosive shells, and make a lot of noise when they fire, what more reasons do Orks need to loot something and customize it into a more orky form.

>> No.23162124

syntax error

>> No.23162126

Tough my pink humie ass.

A Tau managed to slash an Ork Nob in half with am ordinary spear.

>> No.23162149


That was the most badass of the tau, though.

>> No.23162151

and that's before we even get onto the sheer retardation of a tau having the raw strength to do such a thing, or an ordinary spear not simply splintering long before the Ork Nob's bones did..

Was it a commander in a crisis suit or something?

>> No.23162199

>Was it a commander in a crisis suit or something?

It was a half naked dude with a sharp stick.

>> No.23162200

The Audio Logs from Space Marine gave a good impression of how scary Orks can be to everyone who isn't an augmented psy-conditioned super solider.

>> No.23162212

It's nice to know that every faction has its opportunities for ridiculous fanwank.

>> No.23162222

He used an honour blade, which is basically a sword on a stick, plus the tau was a blademaster who had trained his whole life.

It's been implied they're power/force weapons of some kind, or very very sharp.

>> No.23162244

How are Orkz not scary?

Imagine the Hulk (Minus the ridiculous super power) grafted with mechanical parts, big sharp pieces of metal strapped to him, and wielding a big fucking gun and a blade almost the size of you.

There are also more of them, lots more, and they're fucking mad as all hell. A Nob or Warboss has a mouth big enough to chomp your head clean off.

>> No.23162258

Alright, gather around yoof. It's story time.

This was back during the Eye of Terror world-wide campaign (roughly 9 years or so ago). GW set up the campaign to be a percentage-based campaign revolving around the Eye of Terror region, with each star-system having several worlds of worth. The percentage represented the 'loyalty', or how much the planet was still under Imperial control. Cadia started at like 98%. Whereas piss-ass backwater planets started around 20s or so. Each planet/system also had it's own threshold for how much it was impacted by victories from either side (order/disorder).

The campaign was pretty much geared up as a "Chaos vs Imperial" slug-fest for Cadia. To say other races got the short-end of the stick was a bit of an understatement. Eldar had their own campaign revolving around the webway, and stopping the 1k Sons from reaching the Black Library (cool), but Orks got stuck with "trying to keep the Tau from expanding their sphere of influence". Needless to say, the Ork players weren't happy. While the Chaos player began to organize an effective "sack-Cadia" plan, and the more mature Imperial players tried to rally the younger ones into a cohesive strategy (as opposed to "hurr I register win for Medusa -not being beseiged-", the Ork playerbase threw together a forum and rallied around what they called "the Green Kroosade". The idea was to hit one spot of note, and sack the everloving fuck out of it. They picked Thracian Primus, the setting and major area of note in the Eisenhorn Trilogy. Their primary target was Mordax Forge-World, an astounding 97% something planet that had a super high threshold of loyalty (each victory registered something like 0.5% drop, decreasing as it got lower). The Ork players registered every single win against Thracian Primus, and Mordax. At the campaign's end, GW was appalled to see that not only was Thracian Primus a smoking ruin, but Mordax was would be in the negatives if possible.

>> No.23162280

Actually what you have to do is to make the players realize how much of a threat the Orks are.

Think about it. They are ENGINEERED to be living war machines. They laugh at most wounds. Their Meks are able to make weapons on the spot from the simplest materials with their genetic memory thing. They don't need supply routes, because they bring their whole ecosystem with them. They have food, ammo and fuel right up under their noses wherever they go. They can grab anything and use it against you. And they never, ever give up - and even if they do, they'll come back, probably using some tactic you wouldn't understand.

And now take that into account as you imagine you're a Guardsman deployed on some ass-end of the universe.

>> No.23162300

Ward doesn't tone down the humour, friend.

>> No.23162327


this is awesome.

When, in imperial time did the campaign occur? I guess a long time after Eisenhorn/Ravenhorn, so it wouldnt shine up in those novels, would it?

>> No.23162344


I repped the Sons in the Webway.

We never had a chance. There were way more Eldar players than Sons players.

St. Josamine's hope got 'sploded.

>> No.23162345


In short, Mordax was reduced to 0% loyalty, and over 95% of the victories logged against the region were from the Orks (the Tau went largely unopposed, almost doubling their Empire's size). During the final wrap-up, the lead-40k studio designer (Andy Chambers) did some research as to what happened, and decided to write in a full-scale Waaagh that blindsided the Imperium and sacked that entire region of the Segmentum. It was further declared that the Orks renamed Mordax prime to Mo'Dakka, and that the Warlord lieutenant who took over the planet was a Deathskull of ill-repute, turning the forge-world into a weapons manufacturing facility.

During 4th edition, GW decided to back-pedal and wipe out the Eye of Terror campaign's fluff, and instead leave the timeline "just before". Hence Ahriman was never sealed from the Webway, Camorragh was never brutally defeated and sealed in a pocket-dimension (Craftworld-Eldar were on a rape-train with no breaks), and Cadia was never sacked, but contained by the Imperial Navy. Likewise the Ork codex revisit in 4th never made any mention of the Green Kroosade, though a few follow-up WDs over the years did have articles about it.

On a side note, Eldrad did "die" in the Eldar revisit, but it's not likely to remain in the fluff of the next codex they get.

>> No.23162354


Needs more Mad Mek

>> No.23162361


Yea. I think the Eisenhorn books are set some time around the M750's, after Hive Fleet Behemoth but before Kraken and Leviathan. The 13th Black Crusade campaign was set in M999.

>> No.23162367

>Craftworld Eldar were a rape train with no brakes

Oh, for the days of yore...

>> No.23162368

The Eisenhorn/Ravenor stories are written some thousand years or so prior to current m39 timeline. There's a part in one of the Ravenor books where they come across a "future alien threat that will devestate the galaxy", which happens to be Tyranids. Basically, Eisenhorn and Ravenor take place before the first Tyranid invasion of Tyran.

>> No.23162376

>the Orks renamed Mordax prime to Mo'Dakka

Fuck yes, orkz.

>> No.23162387


So beautiful...

It's a shame that GW proceeded to be, well, GW

>> No.23162393

>current m39 timeline.

You mean m41, right?

>> No.23162395

>Camorragh was never brutally defeated and sealed in a pocket-dimension

What? Really? That happened in that event?

Defeated and sealed by who? the Eldar?

>> No.23162425

>On a side note, Eldrad did "die" in the Eldar revisit, but it's not likely to remain in the fluff of the next codex they get.

Why not? Tycho hasn't gotten anymore alive over the years.

>> No.23162427

I believe they're before even Hive Fleet Behemoth. As in the 3rd Ravenor book, Ravenor and a few of his henchmen get hurled forward in time due to warp shenanigans, and they end up on a Tyranid besieged planet. Ravenor has no information in his database for the alien swarms.

>> No.23162468

Ah yes, you're right, I remember that part now.

>> No.23162508

The Eisenhorn omnibus begins in 240.M41. And I think it ends about 150 years after that.

>> No.23162513

Yes. The Craftworld Eldar were a rape-train and single-handedly dominated the fuck out of the Webway portion of the campaign (going against Dark Eldar and Thousand Sons).

Basically, the Craftworlds did so fucking well that they pushed the 1k Son out of the Webway, sealed Ahriman out and stopped him from ever even seeing the Black Library, and then they proceeded to pummel the Dark Eldar so mercilessly that the ending fluff had Camoragh sealed off in it's pocket universe, cutting off the Dark Eldar raiding fleets left in the webway.

Keep in mind that at the time, the Craftworlds had a few lists that were ludicrously powerful against most armies. One of which was the ever-popular 'Biel-Tan' list that let you run whatever Aspects you wanted as your core-troops. Another was the Alaitoc "Disruption" army that fucked you up immediately after deployment. For the campaign, the Craftworld Eldar also got the 'Ulthwe Strikeforce" list, which was a reaper-spamming fast-response style army full of WS 4 and BS 4 'everything' (as Ulthwe's guardians are an actual trained military, and not a militia force). The Strike Force, while tricky to use, was pretty devestating in the right hands. It played similarly to a 'webway portal dark eldar' army, utilizing reserves and placement portals for which the reserve could come out of.

>> No.23162537

>Yes. The Craftworld Eldar were a rape-train and single-handedly dominated the fuck out of the Webway portion of the campaign (going against Dark Eldar and Thousand Sons).

Not hard considering barely anybody played Thousand Sons or Dark Eldar. And the Dark Eldar actually sided with the Craftworlders over the Thousand Sons.

>> No.23162564

>mfw Blood Feud

Thanks for sharing, anon!

>> No.23162570

As for the language: yes, most Orks don't speak Gothic, but let the PCs realize that the few who do so have actually the necessary willpower and patience.
Since Orks were created long before mankind even existed human language can't be part of the genetically hard-wired package (like mekboy know-wots and stuff) so any Ork speaking Gothic had to learn it the usual way.

>> No.23162576

It's guttural grunts and roars punctuated by physical violence.

>> No.23162579

Tycho is still dead. Some sales rep over the years did a 'what-if' conversion for him as a Dreadnought, but Tycho's official fluff is that he fell (and died) on Armageddon during the 3rd war.

Eldrad was last seen in the Eye of Terror campaign, attempting to take over (or shut off) a Blackstone Fortress. The ending story arc for him was that when he connected his mind to the Blackstone's core, Slaanesh (or some greater servant of her/him) was laying in wait and sucked his soul. Eldrad was going to die during the campaign (indeed the managers of many GW stores knew well ahead of time of it), so it wasn't an event that was 'mutable'. Regardless, the 4e Eldar codex left his death in, though they lessened the finality of it by saying some of his soulstones still faintly glimmered (or something similar to that).

Regardless, with GW's backpedal of the campaign, Eldrad's death will likely be retconned out of the next codex.

>> No.23162583

But they already do that.

>> No.23162597


I've seen some people thinking that "WAAAAAGH" might be a really badly pronounced "WAR". But I doubt that's true.

>> No.23162612


If you ran into them in real life I'm prety sure you'd find them scary OP.

>> No.23162621

There was also that one conversation.
"The orks did this for fun."

>> No.23162623

Yeah, pretty much. Most everyone was busy playing Iron Warriors, or some other side legion. Thousand Sons were just 1/9th of the Chaos fans, and thus the 'webway fights' were pretty lopsided. And there's also the whole bit that the Dark Eldar were working against the Thousand Sons as well, while not being part of the Craftworld's side.

>> No.23162629

No problem. Glad to recount the tale!

>> No.23162634


The Armageddon War wasn't retconned, the 13th Black Crusade was.

>> No.23162636

What about the Necrons?

Also the Tau? Did the Tau players just stand there and do nothing since nobody opposed them?

>> No.23162642

Even when you're reading things from a purely Ork viewpoint, it's not always fun and games.

>> No.23162643

It's a Honor Blade a Glaive/Poleaxe/Nagitana.

>> No.23162665

Yarrick learned to speak Ork. It's a separate language in FFG RPGs. It's not Low Gothic.

>> No.23162674

Necrons acted as Cadian plot armour, were they blew up a black stone fortress before themselves getting blown up and thus Cadia was saved.

>> No.23162675

that fucking filename, bwahahaha!

>> No.23162693

Fun history of Waaagh fluff...

"Waaagh!" was initially "Waaargh!" back in the days of Rogue Trader. The 'r' was dropped. The beginning fluff for "Waaagh" was that the Orks would yell "WAR!" as loud and long as they could, but were too stupid to remember what they were yelling while they yelled it... hence they just kinda trailed off into "aaagh....." Like much of the bad Rogue Trader era fluff, that was dropped off a bridge and left out in later editions (along with the farting marines bit...).

Generally speaking, Waaagh is now just a warcry for the Orks, and a flexible term used for a massive armada of invading Ork ships, the psychic duct-tape effect that keeps their tech working smoothly, and the most common thing they yell while in the midst of a fight. I think it's still valid fluff that there are some Snakebite tribes that have no other word in their vocabulary beyond the word 'Waaagh!, and communicate only through inflection and tone.

>> No.23162711

WAAAAGH (formerly WAAAARGH) comes from We're Orks.

>> No.23162716

>along with the farting marines bit
Except that part of Imperial Fist training was never retconned.
So it's still there, accidental farting and all.

>> No.23162737

Necrons started springing up all over the place and building new pylons like the ones on Cadia. At the end, they helped drive off or blew up the Blackstone Fortress that ate Eldrad and was about to blow up Cadia. They were a wildcard force during the Crusade, and their victories sometimes helped Order and sometimes Chaos. For what its worth, they were counted as one of the Forces of Disorder at the start of the Campaign, alongside the Tyranids.

Tau victories went to expanding their empire. As everyone (including GW) ignored the Tau, all the Tau players managed to make gigantic inroads into the Imperium and vastly expanded their territory.

Personally, my favourite part of EoT was the Biel Tan force so hardcore they invaded the Eye and started conquering a demonworld from one of the Bloodquest comics. They were actually sort-of succeeding by the end, and had established a beachhead of reality on the planet.

>> No.23162738

Orks are scary.

>Horrible green skinned beasts the size of an astartes, descending on your home in the thousands, in their smoke belching, ramshackle war machines, killing everything in their path.

>As you try to escape the carnage through the back door, it suddenly shatters, a huge iron boot throwing you to the ground in a hail of shattered wood. One of the monsters stands before you, holding some kind of flame projector, and growls out in crude low gothic,

>"Toim ta do da burny dance, you twiggy fing!"

>Not so funny now, is it.

>> No.23162740


The Orks actually do have a unique language that is not a dialect of Gothic. It just sounds like cockney english because of how it gets translated. The Ork language also isn't made up of grunts and growls. They have a full written glyph-based language system, with it's own dialect. It should also be noted that their language is engineered into their DNA, and thus all Orks across the galaxy speak the same language.

>> No.23162753

thq is dead that's why

>> No.23162757

Yes, and that language is a guttural language that sounds like grunts and growls to a human.
And it's punctuated by physical violence.

>> No.23162776


This. Though the DE were put on the side of 'Disoder' a lot of the players went 'fuck that' and fought alongside their Eldar brothers anyway.

Cuz when push comes to shove, we still pretty tight.

>> No.23162778

It was pretty much retconned out of it. Nothing was written to 'overwrite it', but it's still no longer a part of marine fluff (except in the RT dark ages).

>> No.23162781

They are supposed to be horrifying in setting. The most conversation an imperial will have with an Ork is its laughter as it disembowels you or your friends.

All that humorous fluff about them is from the player's omniscient third person perspective or the orkz own perspective. Which make sense because for them, war is fun, and making something suffer before you slowly kill it is fucking hilarious.

>> No.23162790

It's just not mentioned, considering nobody ever talks about Imperial Fist training anymore.
That bit about the Fists inventing honor duels is even still in the fluff. Get over it.

>> No.23162799

They also like eating things. Like humans. Alive and wriggling.

>> No.23162843

Didn't stop the CWE from kicking their asses and sealing the Dark City!

Those Dark Eldar who turned on the side of disorder weren't the brightest guys in the Commragh.

>> No.23162846

An Ork appears spontaneously in the middle of New York's Central Park.

What goes down?

>> No.23162856

No, it is actually a spoken language. The violence punctuation has no basis on the language itself, other than Orks just being Orks. The language is gutteral, rough, gravelly, and grating on the ears of humans. But it is not made up entirely of growls and grunts. There is actual pronunciation, and syllable structure to it. Many Orks, especially Blood Axes, actively learn different forms of Gothic, or even other languages used by other species. In such cases the large tusks orks have impedes their ability to finely pronounce many words, and thus you get the 'gutteral cockney accent'.

>> No.23162862

The homeless population.

>> No.23162869

A monstrous, green, belligerent giant communicating in spastic grunts and physical violence, probably attempting to eat a nearby child? Just another day in NY.

>> No.23162873

The Population in general, as well as several bystanders when the NYPD shows up.

>> No.23162875


>> No.23162878

FFG actually says the violence is part of the language. They're as canon as anyone.
And I said it sounds like grunts to humans, not that it actually is grunts.

>> No.23162885

I have nothing to get over. I'm just saying, it's no longer a part of the fluff. Technically speaking, a lot of the Eye of Terror stuff hasn't been "fully retconned" either, but is otherwise no longer current (valid) fluff. Forexample, the Thousand Sons being sealed out of the Webway forever.

>> No.23162895

Make them psycopathic.
Calm for a while and random little things set them off into blind rage.

>> No.23162900

New York finds the only thing more belligerent and badly tempered than itself. They make put him in office, and make him mayor.

>> No.23162909

The Eye of Terror fluff was retconned because it hasn't happened yet. The shit from Space Marine wasn't.
They ARE psychopathic.
>Calm for a while and random little things set them off into blind rage.
That's exactly what they're like.

>> No.23162920

That's news to me. Likely something they just invented for the hell of it.

>> No.23162943

Thats a really nice way of putting it, i like it

>> No.23162959

According to the Ciaphas Cain novels, the Ork Language is varying kinds of grunts combined with blows to the head of varying strength and angles.

>> No.23162966

Yeah, it says humans probably wouldn't survive the necessary violence.

>> No.23162968


96% of the population is killed and eaten, the rest are put in concentration camps to build guns until they keel over.

Basically a Nazi cannibal invasion on steroids.

>> No.23162992

And technically speaking, Orks still have Bubble-Chukkas, squats are still around, and have Ogryn mercenaries working with them. Just because something was not 'contradicted' by later fluff, doesn't mean it's still valid at current. There is currently no 5th Chaos god of Undivided, per GW's stance on the matter. He was never specifically removed, but GW has effectively abolished all mention of his name. Likewise Tigurius is still technically a half-eldar, as it was never mentioned otherwise later (other than being a marine).

>> No.23163002

>An ork

>> No.23163014


Do you even know how many offspring an Ork produces?

>> No.23163019

According to anyone observing Ork behavior, blows to the head would seem like their method of communicating. Orks are just Orks, and throwing a punch or swinging a club at each other is the same thing as a handshake or nodding in agreement.

>> No.23163027

The fungal or marsupial variant?

>> No.23163033

>Orks still have Bubble-Chukkas
Why not
>squats are still around
According to the 6e Rulebook, very much so
>and have Ogryn mercenaries working with them
Is that something that's somehow out of the question now?
Tigurius was never a half-Eldar at any point. You're thinking of the half-Eldar Astropath who worked for the Ultras named Illiyan Nastase.

>> No.23163041

Not many considering Orkz are not subtle and will run towards a fight and so one ork will be killed really fast.
Same with its offspring if its spore manage to find a place to grow in New York.

It'll disrupt shit, they'll cause havoc. But one ork won't ultimately do much.

>> No.23163042


> Likewise Tigurius is still technically a half-eldar, as it was never mentioned otherwise later (other than being a marine).


Tigurius was never half eldar, eldar and humans are genetically incompatible and marine aspirants are put through rigorious gene-testing.

>> No.23163045

Do Fantasy Orcs also reproduce via spores?

>> No.23163052

Except they often do, specifically with the Blood Axe clan. Which is well known for it's mercenary work, and ability to maintain anything beyond violent interaction with non-ork cultures.

>> No.23163066

>eldar and humans are genetically incompatible
Phil Kelly called, he said you're a faggot.

>> No.23163077

>eldar and humans are genetically incompatible
Wasn't always the case... In fact, I sincerely doubt it's been ever really addressed afterwards.

>> No.23163080


>Except they often do, specifically with the Blood Axe clan.

No, because when they do have dealing with Blood Axes it is done in gothic, not Orkish.

>> No.23163084

But Blood Axes speak Low Gothic.

>> No.23163085


>> No.23163087

Yes. They do now.

>> No.23163093

Jeez. So Warhammer Fantasy world is pretty fucked.

I mean, more so than before.

>> No.23163099


At least I didn't write the latest chaos codex.

>> No.23163104

Naw, not really.

>> No.23163130

There's a half-Eldar in The Chapter's Due, which came out in 2010. She's got blue hair and violet eyes and outfights Captain Sicarius. Then she gets stabbed with a banner.
Phil Kelly said there's half-Eldar in Commorragh in an interview when the Dark Eldar codex came out.

>> No.23163145


Damn, that's the sort of thing that makes you feel proud to be a greenskin. I'm tempted to shove a reference to Mo'Dakka into my Ork army as a matter of pride.

Christ, GW really had to be dicks with that campaign, so much cool stuff happened and at the end it comes across like a waste of time, why even bother holding such an event if you just want to retconn it away, other than money of course. Bunch of fucktards. >.>

>> No.23163149

Be anyone who doesn't want to be squashed with rusty rebuilt farming tools like an afterthought.

>> No.23163153

> >.>
u avin a gigle m8

>> No.23163172

Of course there's half-eldar in Commorragh, half the teenager fly around on hovering razorblades, theres likely quarter-eldar too.

>> No.23163175

> >.>

>> No.23163180

I dunno, I would have laughed at his voice before he burnt me to crisps.

>> No.23163181

>does not know how Ork eco-systems work.

Orks shed spores throughout it's lifetime, and especially in great numbers upon it's death. Regardless, the spores settle and begin forming the eco-system. Snotling and squigs will begin to appear first in great numbers, with the Snotlings able to hide and stay largely out of sight... especially in sewers. Squig breeds will do whatever each squig breed is designed to do... The Orks themselves will appear a little later after the emergence of gretchin, and not slowly either. There will just suddenly be quite a lot of them everywhere, with the amount directly tied to how well the Ork eco-system can support them (usually pretty well). Once they've established a sizable area, the Squiggoths begin to appear in limited numbers.

>> No.23163182


You bring shame to greenskinks everywhere.

>> No.23163209

Blood Axes still speak Orkish. Just most of them learn Gothic.

>> No.23163229

Not really. Orks are used even more so as a comic relief faction, and up until their most recent army book weren't even a viable army. They also don't get a lot of the stuff that 40k Orks get.

>> No.23163230

>Orks shed spores throughout it's lifetime, and especially in great numbers upon it's death
>throughout its lifetime
Which in NYC would be spectacularly short even by the standards of ork.

Orkz being fungi would require soil or some kind of nutrient correct? So unless it was killed in Central Park most of the spore would land on gravel and concrete and have nothing to grow with.

>> No.23163238


Lizardmen pls go

>> No.23163248

Well then, there's both half-Eldar and half-Dark Eldar.
Probably half-Harlequins, too, they're said to occasionally perform on human worlds while pretending to, well, not be Eldar.

Only ones I can imagine not existing are half-Exodites. Probably. If there's no invasion that involves Eldar rape and fails.

>> No.23163253

Indeed. It'd be a lot worse if you had!

It's fallacy to think that any given studio designer has 100% control over the codex he's writing. Jervis is the guiding hand of it all.

>> No.23163266

Well, according to>>23162846 the Ork just appeared in the middle of Central Park so...

>> No.23163274

>It's fallacy to think that any given studio designer has 100% control over the codex he's writing.
Which is why 6e is the No-New-Fluff Edition.

>> No.23163288

Well it might wander off in search of a fight. The people in the park would not be good sport.

>> No.23163302

B-but there's plenty of new fluff in just the Rulebook. Even more in Chaos Space Marines.

>> No.23163305


I think the joke went over your head.

Just as well since it was flying on a razor-blade.

>> No.23163308


Alright alright, I had no need for that last emote. Just a damn shame to see the Ork and Elder rape trains get retconned away just because GW had to be themselves and not advance the story much at all.

>> No.23163309

seriously? emoticons?

In any case, pic-related was the "Green Kroosade" banner, which numerous Ork players made banner carriers for during the campaign. It's basically a stark-white flag with a modified green templar cross.

>> No.23163316

Not a common Old World saying: Mushrooms in fall, best reinforce the wall.

>> No.23163321

Was that sarcasm, or does the rulebook really have no new fluff?

Fuck Tourneyfags.

>> No.23163329

They're all just Eldar, biologically speaking.

And there might be half-Exodites. I could see them banging Feral Worlders from time to time, they're the Wood Elves after all.

But he was making a joke. Read 'half-Eldar' as 'Eldar in halves'

>> No.23163342

I got it.
I just get joy from being pedantic and ruining all your fun by taking you at face value. For as long as that face is attached.
Goddamn Hellions.

>> No.23163349

You can come up with lots of reasons, but in my own paranoid fantasy its because the Space Marines did not do well. 12year olds buy the Marines in the most numbers, they contributed most to the Forces of Order side. Coincidentally, they were the reason that the FoO couldn't get their act together until the very end. As of the end of the Eye of Terror campaign, the Imperium was really screwed. Abbadon didn't entirely get his way, but between a new Ork empire, Typhus the Herald and his new demonplanets / zombie plague, strong Tau in the east and Tyranids just happily puttering along things were about to get messy. But that would have meant the Bad guys won, and we couldn't have that.

Again, its my own paranoid fantasy. There could have been lots of reasons for it. Andy Chambers and Pete Haines leaving certainly didn't help.

>> No.23163354

Can you not read?

>> No.23163362

6e has some.
But all the 6e codices (DA and CSM) only adds one or two timeline blurbs.

>> No.23163387

orks are already scary as fuck. they just also have the best humor.

>> No.23163401

No, they really aren't just Eldar.
All the half-Eldar characters mentioned like Drak the Hunter weren't very much like full Eldar. They are, well, like a cross between humans and Eldar.

Exodites are really fucking xenophobic. They'd kill humans that were on their world.

>> No.23163404

>Orkz being fungi would require soil or some kind of nutrient correct?
Nope. The spores are able to settle and groiw in most refuse. Even to the point of taking root in urban areas full of concrete and sidewalks.

In any case it's a moot point. He'd become the mayor of NYC, and lead them on a Waaagh across the East Coast.

>> No.23163417

CSM has the entire thing about the Abyssal Crusade. That was a good bit of new fluff.

>> No.23163425


Each ork that is killed ultimately produces perhaps one or two other orks at most. And you're a damn fool if you think the US government wouldn't be all over spraying the entirety of NYC with fungicides the moment a 40k fanboy brings "Orks reproduce via spores" to their attention. If not just go full retard and neutron bomb the place, possibly after evacuating the preexisting residents.

>> No.23163434

>Orks have not only survived, they have prospered and are more numerous than humanity. This at least is due in part to how they reproduce. Orks reproduce through the release of spores, which grow into a plant-like womb underground that nourishes the bodies of the various Orkoid species. This is the entire basis of the Orkoid ecosystem, producing first Squigs, then Snotlings who cultivate the Squigs and fungus, then Gretchin to build the settlements, and finally the Orks themselves. This means the Orks, where ever they go, will have an abundance of food, slaves and other resources, a moving ecosystem that supports them as they go on their Waaagh!s
>plant like womb underground
That does not bode well for urban environments.

>Orkz start popping up in New York.
herd them into Harlem, nothing will change.

>> No.23163445

That was from the 6e rulebook.
6e rulebook gets credit for it.

>> No.23163466

But CSM expanded on it quite a lot. In 6e it was just a rather hilarious blurb.

>> No.23163476

the spores sometimes stay airbourne for a good while before landing, and keep in mind the amount of spores released

if you play an ork in rogue trader, the ship, planets you visit, and even people on board the ship, should have some sort of issues

>> No.23163479

That's just elaboration on a timeline blurb in the 6e rulebook though. Elaboration != new fluff.
The most we got was Mortarian joining the extremely exclusive club of "Not Entirely Useless Daemon Princes"

>> No.23163506

Well, he did kill the Grey Knight Supreme Grand Master Geronitan. That's a pretty big victory for Chaos. Even if Draigo humiliated him for it.

>> No.23163509

Technically an expansion of something that appeared in the 5th edition rulebook. Though I think it's not so much a lack of new material, but lack of anything particularly interesting/controversial/written by Ward. Things like the Abyssal Crusade and Abaddon's big plan to spread the Eye of Terror to cover the whole galaxy have generated barely any discussion compared to the likes of, say, the spiritual liege line - which wasn't even in the Space Marine codex, yet to this day people are still butthurt about it.

>> No.23163516


I know, my bad for using an emote. But thanks for the image anyway. I'll have to put that to good use on a Waaagh! banner.


Honestly wouldn't surprise me if that was what they pulled, can't have the Space Marines losing after all can we now? Not when so many buy them. Although likely many reasons for it as you said.

>> No.23163520

I once had a Guardian beat a... Justicar? What's their generic HQ called?

Anyway, my Guardian beat him to death. In close combat. With a scatter laser turret.

Of course, these were pre-new-Codex Grey Knights, but it was still a hilarious moment. Bob the Baker, hero of Iyanden.

>> No.23163522

It also made entirely new fluff on multiple preexisting Renegade Chapters, though.

>> No.23163524

becoming a daemon prince is pretty much as close as anyone can get to winning, the primarchs didnt really do that much to even become daemon princes to begin with

>> No.23163536

Which if you think about it, presumably means that he was taking on a Supreme Grand Master and Grand Master (future SGM) at the same time.
And killed the Supreme Grand Master.
Which considering that they're the Grand Poobahs of Daemon Slaying is fairly impressive for a Daemon before you consider that they might have had even more support with them.

>> No.23163540

I once had a Conscript kill Kharn the Betrayer in CC. No fucking joke.
I promoted him to Veteran.

>> No.23163555

It should also be noted that few people even noticed (or bothered to inform others) of what exactly the Ork community was up to.

On a side note, later World Wide Campaigns were a lot more of a mess. Storm of Chaos was a badly written fuck-fest of Gav's. And Medusa had the most readily exploitable system, and nobody bothering to moderate it. The 'Green Kroosade Krew' got together again to work on the Medusa campaign and do something epic (namely to save Nazdreg). They wrote pages upon pages of fluff concerning "Ork Salvage Walkers" and such. But the problem the Medusa Campaign had was by then you saw countless 'fake' accounts made designed to skew the results. There were hundreds of "Billy Bob's Bad Dudes" armies, or "Jimmy's Mean Chaos Guys" registered purely to log their maximum 10 wins/losses a day for either side. So in short, the results were horribly skewed in favor of whoever could spam the most false victories. The end result was what you see now... GW abandoning the whole WorldWide Campaign thing. For their effort though, GW did abandon the original plan of killing off Nazdreg and instead let him escape Medusa alive.

>> No.23163565

>500 point game, Eldar vs. Grey Knights [back when they were 4e and 3e respectively]

>Holding one objective with a handful of Rangers
>He's got one objective in his own territory
>Down to last objective. My guardian squad is standing there when his HQ squad slams into it for CC
>Seven Eldar are massacred in the first round, have effectively no Leadership because I fail to confirm any wounds
>Second round of combat
>He rolls shitty, kills two of remaining three Eldar
>Roll to hit with Scatter Laser guy, my last remaining model on the objective
>Roll to wound
>He takes it with his HQ who has a 2+ save
>Rolls a 1
>Eldar Guardian beats a fucking Gray Knight Captain to death with his scatter laser turret in melee
>Since he only had a one-wound advantage, easily pass morale
>Last turn, objective is contested, so it's a tie


I love it when the dice pull that kind of shit in a game.

>> No.23163580

>becoming a daemon prince is pretty much as close as anyone can get to winning
Too bad with very few exceptions, it also dooms you to never leading another successful battle ever again and you apparently lose much of your individuality to your chaos god..
Immortal Daemonhood is the punchline of chaos. Everytime someone ascends the Chaos Gods howl with laughter "i can't believe that chump actually fell for it".

>> No.23163591

Which is why Abaddon, Kharn, and Co. don't ascend. They're the smart ones.

>> No.23163595

Ork Kommandos! Rok rok on!

>> No.23163599

My opponent and I decided that he climbed on Kharn's back and manged to wedge his combat knife in between the helmet and the breastplate. Khorne wasn't even mad, in fact he was impressed.

>> No.23163602

5th edition.

>The judgement of Saint Basillius. Thirty Space Marine Chapters are found wanting. The guilty embark upon a crusade into the Eye of Terror, to purge those worlds stolen by the birth of the Dark Prince.

When I first read it I thought that Saint Basillius, assuming he ordered the crusade itself after judging them, was either extremely stupid even for the Imperium, or secretly a heretic. Turns out I was right.

>> No.23163612

Hey, not everyone is M'kar the Retard.
RIP in peace, by the way.

>> No.23163620

>Each ork that is killed ultimately produces perhaps one or two other orks at most.
Haha, no. Each Ork begins producing spores to lay the foundation for the Ork ecosystem. Killing him doesn't produce one or two more Orks... It produces countless snotlings and squigs, which being producing more, and laying the groundwork for a large-scale production of Orks. The Ork spores don't just 'develop another Ork' when one dies... They first make sure there's an ecosystem to sustain them, and thus being from there.

>> No.23163632

Not everyone, but the vast majority.
I also prefer M'Kar the Why Do I Even Bother?

He reminds me of that bandit from borderlands screaming at people to shoot him in the face.

>> No.23163637

> how do we make Orkz scary?

give them more Dakka

>> No.23163647

>That does not bode well for urban environments.
planter-strips, city parks, even heavily polluted outskirts... all of which is viable.

>> No.23163650


The point is that they're still going to be a pretty minor threat at best before NYC gets nuked or sterilized with fungicide.

>> No.23163651

>give them enuff Dakka
>And enuff choppy too
Now that's scary

>> No.23163661

And how would the spray the entirely of NYC? By evacuating the whole city of people for a long enough period of time to spray the whole place down? Because while it might be one ork, it's not going to die to fast. So it will have to move around and spread its spores. Upon it's death it will release a large amount, so an ecosystem for a greenskin population will already be forming. So any response will need to be fast and harsh.

And the US government is going to follow the advice of some guy claiming the beast that popped up in NYC is the same as his miniatures war game and that they need to kill everything in the city because if they don't the fungi-monsters will overrun the world?

In the end, I doubt the US government would take the necessary actions quickly enough to stop the Orks from becoming at least a major pain in the ass, let alone a full invasion. Not because they're stupid or incompetent, but because they would be too cautious to do anything so extreme to one of the most important cities in the US, probably second only to D.C.

>> No.23163664

Except that Mortarion's sudden activity was just to shoe-horn him in as the punching-bag for a new, more betterer hero than Calgar.

>> No.23163665

>Not mad

But yeah, good times. There was also Brother Ludo.

Guy had three Ultramarine Dreadnaughts, and to make it easy to remember which load-out was which, he'd named each of them. I was playing Salamanders, and between tanks with lascannons and meltaguns, had brought plenty of anti-tank. His other two Dreadnaughts died pretty much immediately. Then Brother Ludo drops in.

He immediately punches a tank to death. I shoot lascannons, two or three into his side armor. He takes one glancing hit, it doesn't even do anything.

I hit him with a melta... and fail to pen.

No matter what I threw at Brother Ludo, he would not die.

He upgraded Ludo to an Ironclad after that game.

>> No.23163686

Same way you spray defoliants.
With a plane.

>> No.23163688

>it's not going to die to fast
Yes it is.
It will by instinct seek out the biggest fight it can. And if it doesn't go to the police and SWAT, the police and SWAT will be called in to come to it quickly enough.

>> No.23163697

>more betterer hero than Calgar.
I didn't know being irrelevant made you a good hero.

>> No.23163716


Even daemon princes suffer from grimdark.

>Yet a daemon prince is just as much a tool of the Dark Gods as his mortal followers; if anything, he becomes even more of an extension of his master's will. Daemons cannot truly be killed, only banished back to the Warp for a time - one who ascends to Daemonhood can look forward to an eternity of servitude at his patron's behest. Even death is no respite.

Also true daemons look down upon them and consider them inferior due to their mortal origins.

>> No.23163724

>no gais! really! he iz are irrelevant now!

>> No.23163759

>Yes it is.
No it won't. It'll be in a 3-piece suit and running the fucking place within 4 weeks time.

>> No.23163760

Well if you think everything a guy does undoing itself by day's end makes one relevant, you have an interesting definition of the word.

>> No.23163764

But he's irrelevant and is incapable of doing anything that matters.
Can you read?

>> No.23163775

its called "faith"

>> No.23163786

True daemons can suck my dick, I'm basically on the level of a greater daemon.
So go ahead and laughingwhores.jpg, daemonettes. I'm spit roasting you both at once.
Right out the fucking mouth.

>> No.23163791

Space Marine did a good job of making orks scary in the datalogs you picked up, as you got a glimpse of how the average human sees them - a giant green monstrosity that kills innocents for funsies and giggles as they eat the corpses of your loved ones. Some guy watched a bunch of orks use his wife as a volleyball or some shit and he knew there was fuckall he could do about it even if he was armed.

>> No.23163803


Like every single mention of the ork ecosystem I've ever read has the process taking place over a matter of years, if not decades. The ork isn't going to be mowed down by a NYPD SWAT team and then have everyone wake up the next morning to a full scale waaaagh building stompa's in battery park. You need THOUSANDS of Orks dying over a very short timespan to have the level of saturation required for that.

Also here's how you spray the city fast enough, Get a bunch of C-130's, load them up with fungicide, and spray the entire city from the air. Take teams of National Guard, SWAT, and regular Army, and have them coat the sewers and rail tunnels.

>> No.23163820

its a trade off in the most extreme case, you get rid of your soul and if you work hard enough, you get the maximum reward

>> No.23163826

So spraying fungicide on a new species of 'fungus' from a plane over an urban center will be sure to wipe out the whole of said fungus population?

And the ork will be sure to take plenty of hits before going down. Orks are tough as fuck and can be missing large parts of their body before dying, including vital organs. I doubt the police will realize this quick enough to stop it from having a small rampage through NYC. Which, like I said, will give it a decent area to start a greenskin ecosystem through its shed spores.

>> No.23163831

>that ork on the front left
Straight edge faggot ork detected.

>> No.23163859


>Vote 'Eadbitah '24
>Or I'll krump you good ya gits.

>> No.23163866

>farting marines

Im new, here, what is that? Sounds hilarious!

>> No.23163888

It's in Dawn of War by C.S. Goto. Go read it.

>> No.23163893

Space Marines farting in the fluff.
old 40k fluff could get very Dare You Enter My Magical Realm.
Protip: Grey Knight Psycannon bolts have two sources: ground-up children of the emperor, or the emperor's shit.

>> No.23163902

That's psyk-out in general, brah.

>> No.23163910

>C.S. Goto
>Go read it

>> No.23163915

orks make a lot of spores, so the fungicide wouldnt actually work due to sheer reproductive capability and the orks loving to shoot flying shit

>> No.23163918


Exactly, being a daemon prince is like being a muh diking nigger on /pol/, forever

>> No.23163936


Well then some suit in the administration makes the hard choices and NYC and the surrounding region turns into a nuclear fireball ten minutes later. Your move, orks.

>> No.23163942 [SPOILER] 


>> No.23163945

Except daemon princes can actually follow through.

>> No.23163971

Are we discussing how the overwhelming majority of Daemon Princes are failures at everything they do.
Because there's nothing to discuss, the overwhelming majority of Daemon Princes are failures at everything they do.

>> No.23163977

like that would hurt an ork, you would have to burn the entire area around the blast site with as much napalm and white phosphorus as you can, other wise the airborne spores are going to just spring up 20 miles south of there all fat and happy

>> No.23163997

If it's come down to thermonuclear answers, then the Orks have already spread well beyond the viable radius to be handled by a nuclear bomb. Unless of course you wish to an-hero us all... in which case you're just handing a smoking-rock over to a race that is quite capable of handling hostile, radiated regions of land.

>> No.23164004

there is also an overwhelming majority of daemon princes not named, a lot are happy ruling over their own world, watching their subjects grow more powerful, a lot like a loving father (or mother? is there a daemon princess?)

>> No.23164017

The other thing to think of, is that an Ork infestation is a lot like a flea infestation. You only see the top 10% of the problem.

>> No.23164031

daemon princes of tzeentch love politics

>> No.23164047


>daemon princess

The highest position a female can hope to ascend to is the status of a personal plaything.

>> No.23164083

the animal and fungal combination makes them very very tough, the fungal part of the anatomy would probably eat the radiation to keep the animal part healthy, also they have a lot of medicinal squigs and fungus to stay alive

they probably wouldnt even notice the radiation, they would notice the bomb and would just take cover to keep their massive bulk safe

>> No.23164088

There was one in Ben Counter's "Daemon World" and one in Bloodquest II: Into the Eye of Terror. Most of the ones you see in 40k were once Marines though, so it does mean that there are fewer shown in the fluff than were once girls.

>> No.23164095

Just how long do you think this would take, exactly?

The average citizen doesn't know what an Ork is. It will be confused reports of a rampaging man or beast, responses from NYPD will likely be insufficient, and the longer the ork rampages the further afield it spreads.

Serious, actionable evidence would be required before any nuclear response, and by then it will certainly be too late to stop every spore. In fact, the situation can easily be made worse by the pressure wave from the blast blowing airborne spores further afield.

>> No.23164103

a lot of females have become daemon head honchos, they just take a different approach to account for -4 str

>> No.23164138


IIRC theres one either in the Black Crusade core book or Mark of the Xenos for Death Watch. Some chick who spontaneously ascended to daemonhood when Slaanesh realized she had basically spent the last three centuries binding Keepers of Secrets to her soul and burning through them in about fifty years as power boosts for her psychic abilities.

>> No.23164143

imagine cuddling a female daemon prince, you cant leave, because she will kill you

>> No.23164146

Yeah, such as +12 to the Blood God.

>> No.23164180

there was that one in the black crusade book on that water planet, the really powerful psyker chick that just left by building a ship

>> No.23164182


I'm talking about the point where NYC is full of Orks and about to fall. You can bet your ass that the US Government would cross the nuclear threshold if it came down to a choice between that or letting themselves be overwhelmed by orks. Can't be impeached or voted out of office in the next election if you're dead after all.

>> No.23164195


She was ascended in part due to her supreme self-centeredness and partly as humiliation to the greater daemons who failed in their possessions of her.

Since daemons consider mortals inferior, that should be particularly galling to a Keeper. A daemon prince may still be considered inferior but it's got power too which makes it even more insufferable.

>> No.23164200

thats still a +8 compared to a beserkers +30

>> No.23164234

Considering Orks happily settle and create thriving worlds out of overly toxic, pollution filled wastelands... I think they have no problems with radiation. Hell they even turn the worlds they take over into pollution-filled spheres of toxic death to anyone other than fellow Orks. In BFG campaigns, Ork-held world are worth the minimal resource value for everyone but other Orks. This puts it on par with 'Barren' for it's value. EVEN TO TYRANIDS!

>> No.23164240

This crazy, OP?

>> No.23164249

And that's my point. By the time it has reached that thresh-hold, it's already too late. There are going to be airborne spores drifting everywhere, probably already in the jet stream or other major currents. A nuclear blast will cause massive surface damage, but burrowed, radiation-resistant spores will likely survive not far from the epicenter. Incursions will happen, with increasing frequency.

Thus is the ork menace.

>> No.23164254

Orks are fat and happy, it seems easier to just give the orks a tithe from a forge world for dakka and just tell them to go there vs trying to lead tyranids to them

>> No.23164265


Ok yeah, she's in the Core book for Black Crusade. Ax'Senaea the Thrice Possessed, the Executrix Primaris of Laodomida.

>Few beings in the Screaming Vortex can claim to have impressed the Lord of Dark Delights with their conceit, their vanity, and their hubris. Those who do typically earn the jealousy of Slaanesh, not admiration, as such things are beneath the god of indulgence and self-obsession. However, one being caught the eye of Slaanesh and received a nod of true admiration. In her struggle for self perfection and vainglory, Ax’senaea, called the Thrice-Possessed, damned her people to eternal anguish and impressed even the Prince of Excess.

>Long before the days of the Angevin Crusade, while the Calixis sector languished beyond Imperial control, the planet of Laodomida spun its lazy orbit around a star in what is now the Drusus Marches. A system far from any other, Laodomida was an isolated place of planetary intrigue and politics. A world consumed with its own extravagance, the intrigues of the ruling class were usually harmless enough, occasionally devolving into dynastic assassinations and scandals, but rarely all-out warfare. Into this world was born Ax’senaea, last born child of a minor noble family.

>> No.23164283

slaanesh is funny like that

>> No.23164302

There's a difference between them being funny as a concept, and how unfunny it would be to actually face one, or a whole mob.

That's part of what makes them special. I think they can definitely be scary within a campaign without ruining howutterly bonkers they are

>> No.23164305


>By her third decade, the woman who would end her world had spent her entire life among the courts and war-rooms of her powerful kin. Oft-ignored in favour of her more aggressive siblings, Ax’senaea was left to turn inward and ponder the darkest regions of her own soul. Seeing her position, forgotten among her rivals, as little more than a matter for self-improvement, Ax’senaea quickly rose to power by mercilessly removing her competition. In only a few years she had decimated her dynasty and seized control, while keeping its holdings intact. It was not enough for the newly-minted Executrix Primaris, though—she still had too little control over her world, her own psyche.
>Believing them to be manifestations of her own skills and knowledge, she collected a court of learned sages and strategists, putting each to death after she mastered their knowledge. Among these men was a secret sorcerer of Chaos. Hoping that it would end in her death, the sorcerer taught Ax’senaea the process by which to bind a powerful servant of Slaanesh to her own soul. His plan—that the despotic woman
could not hope to command such a creature—was foiled by her overwhelming will and self-obsession. Though the ritual was long and exhausting, Ax’senaea was able to crush the daemonic entity beneath the weight of her indomitable will

>> No.23164306


Ork infestations spawn snotlings, squigs and grots first, and feral orks after.

In a world with modern-day tech level those will easily be detected and killed before they become a threat worse than your average serial killer. In a higher tech world they are even less of a problem.

Of course 40k is batshit and even hive worlds like Armageddon had huge jungles full of angry orks after 1st war because no one goes out of the hives.

>> No.23164324

there is a few female daemon princes in that core book, i think as a way to make normal people seem viable for play vs a marine powerhouse

>> No.23164364


>Now possessed of the power of a Keeper of Secrets, the vain woman murdered the sorcerer and slew the remainder of her cabinet. She used her newly acquired warp-sorcery to exert more direct control over her subjects and her enemies, twisting their minds to her will, driving them mad with desire or jealousy, or eviscerating them with a thought. She continued to abuse the daemon within her for decades, draining its essence to fuel her ambitions and maintain her youth until she consumed its power, banishing it back into the Warp and binding a new Keeper of Secrets within. Over the following century she consumed a second and third daemon entirely, and plunged her world into utter chaos and conflict. She corrupted the souls of the ruling class the world over and spurred the populace to acts of subservienceand adoration, sacrifice and murder, all so that she might prove the control she had over what she saw as her own psyche, her own body and mind.

>When her world was entirely under her own control, she spread to the other in-system planets, conquering, dominating, and commanding the countless billions touched by her influence. When the third daemonsoul withered and vanished within her, Ax’senaea performed the ritual yet again, hoping to devour the power of a fourth greater daemon. It was then that Slaanesh granted the woman daemonhood, both out of disdain for his most powerful servants and in adoration of the woman who had twisted the minds and souls of billions with her dark perfection.

>> No.23164392


>Pulled into the warp by the possessive jealousy of Ax’senaea herself, its puppet-populace living out her every wicked excess, Laodomida now spins aimlessly through the warp, a world re-formed daily by the fickle whims of its insane mistress. Despite the gifts of the Prince of Pleasure, Ax’senaea remains mad, consumed by her own self-obsession and solipsism. Her deranged mind has now turned to the beings of the warp, and to her mad eyes they are simply rebellious aspects of her nature, needing to be controlled as much as any world in realspace.

>> No.23164413

>In a world with modern-day tech level those will easily be detected and killed before they become a threat worse than your average serial killer.

So, how many large rats living in sewers have you 'easily detected'? Do you have any idea if there's anything actually alive inside that dumpster of trash? When was the last time you opened up a storm-drain and found the carcass of a racoon?

We can't even 'easily detect' the small animals that inhabit our urban areas with us, and you think that a small snotling, barely 1.5' high who will naturally seek out something like a storm-drain network, is going to be "easily detected?"

>> No.23164420

>Of course 40k is batshit and even hive worlds like Armageddon had huge jungles full of angry orks after 1st war because no one goes out of the hives.

Yeah, nah... you're spouting bullshit.

Orks weren't involved in the 1st war.

>> No.23164434


To be fair, normal people do have a lot of advantages compared to Marine McBrickhouse. Actually being able to pretend to be something other then an xbawk huge feral world barbarian or a ogryn chief among them.

>> No.23164437


Snotling itself is bigger than a stray cat which are much much easier to detect than rats. Considering the potential threat much more effort would be used on detecting and exterminating them than on cats or rats too.

When it get to grots and orks...

>> No.23164439

Imagine GW was like the guys who run EVE online. Allowing players to really shape the universe. That would be cool as fuck

>> No.23164447


Got me there, meant obviously 2nd war.

>> No.23164478

You're still spouting bullshit, because people DO go out of the hives! There are entire warbands of roving ash-waste gangers, and shanty towns out in the ash-waste. Hell there are settlements AROUND the hives.

>> No.23164492

Only if it began before they had made their colossal push on selling marines.

As it is now, you'd just end up with everything but marines getting squatted, and the resulting game looking like some crayon-infested mess drawn by a kid with ADHD.

>> No.23164502

You could always play a bit of DoW:DC for Eldar rape-trainyness.

>> No.23164503


Yeah, the only ones who go out are 2000AD hobos who don't bother to take care of feral orks in the jungles between 2nd and 3rd wars. Not exacly realistic.

>> No.23164520

We STILL cannot 'easily detect' stray cats in our urban areas. Do you have any idea just what a labyrinth your city's storm-drain is? And god help you if they're using Stormtech facilities under parking lots...

>> No.23164537

They made a push on selling Marines because Marines were what sold, even when they offered a gajillion different options. Not pushing Marines would've been stupid of them.

>> No.23164544


Stray cats could be eliminated from urban areas with some effort with current modern tech. And would if they started mutating into rabid tigers which would be more analoguous with the Ork situation.

>> No.23164559

I guess that's true. Some level of interactivity would be great though

>> No.23164584

There are still large populations of humans outside of the hives, even after the 3rd war. And especially after the 2nd war, as Necromunda showed. There was an entire campaign setting set around vehicle warbands in the Ash Wastes that was essentially "Gorka Morka, but with humans in Necromunda". People live outside the hives. A lot of people. They just usually live a life full of respirators, filtration cybernetic implants, and short life expectancies (due to squalor and pollution).

>> No.23164689

It is arguable whether a connection between the snotlings and squigs infesting the sewer/storm networks was even recognized as being connected with the barbaric aliens we'd be fighting a war with. Think of it like Half Life 2 in a way. This whole other ecosystem of invasive species would start to occupy our world, and our primary concern would involve the war we're fighting first and foremost. No one's going to have time (or the desire) to go on a 'stray cat hunt through the rape sewers' and try to exterminate every last squig with a flame-thrower. Because you will need a flame-thrower to keep them from spreading more spores upon death. And you're in a fucking enclosed sewer with a tank loaded full of combustable fuels, a respirator (because you're sure as fuck not breathing air in a sewer), and hunting rabid squigs. Think of it like that scene in alien, when he's craling in the ducts. Except you're not crawling. And there's thousands of the fucking things. And the rest of your team's been ripped apart and overrun already.

>> No.23164818

but compared to a sorcerer a normal dude is only so useful

i do like that gift of chaos that makes you seem normal, no mutations and even before becoming an astartes, but anyone who can see the warp sees right through that illusion

>> No.23165056

>fungi don't grow on cement
That's not true all a fungus needs are moist and dark areas.

>> No.23165627

I don't think people are properly respecting the fact that an ork is going to run rampant in modern society until at least the national guard is called in.

Anything short of 20mm is going to accomplish nothing beyond alerting the ork to where the next fight is.

The thing is that orks feed on conflict and violence. How many people will he have killed before the army shows up? How much bigger, stronger, and more well equipped would he be? We're acting like we'd be fighting some low level boy, but by the time the police and national guard get their shit together we're looking at a nob that's working his way to mega-armored nob.

No, the best chance we have is a drone strike. An immediate, accurate drone strike before it has time to up-armor and crank the skullfucking up to 11. But we all know there is no way the drone strike option comes to the table until that thing has shot, chopped, and smashed at least half of the NYPD.

As for the people suggesting nukes, there were humans that survived hiroshima and nagasaki. The fuck is a nuke gonna do to an ork besides slightly impress him? Oh yeah and fungicide? Fucking really? Do we happen to have enough fungicide to cover the greater NY area that we can confirm even works against ork spores? Because we have fluff of ork spores evolving at the cellular level to counter tyranid shenanigans. But hey some shit that kills ladybugs will totally work on a genetically engineered galactic bioweapon.

Y'all aren't accepting that this is 40K. It's RIDICULOUS. There's no fucking way earth would survive in the long run if even a single ork wound up here. How many lasers do we have capable of the energy output of a lasgun? Because lasguns are about the shittiest gun in 40K, and we can't even touch that.

>> No.23165805


>> No.23165938

But we wouldn't. One ork, appears in the park? He's gonna punt someone into a wall, maybe chop him in half, take a 9mm hollowpoint or two - don't want to risk overpenetration of your target in an urban area - then his instincts will kick in and he'll go to ground. There'll be a weird story about some big guy in an elaborate costume - probably from a convention - all pumped up on PCP and bull shark testosterone violently attacking some woman in the park and then fleeing from an officer attempting to bring down a violent lunatic.
They'll go through hospital admissions looking for admissions with gunshot wounds, not find the important one, and probably either shuffle it under an already bloated caseload, or pin it on someone else with a history of similar. No one will go 'GOOD GORK AN' MORK AN ORK!"
And that's when you know things are gonna get really bad... New York starts to SHINE. In the next few months, garbage starts to disappear. No one's actually commissioned more trash collection, or slated more community service for the jobs, but you can be damn sure someone's gonna take the credit for it.


>> No.23165961

The Ork attacks everything in it's way and tries desperately to make some bicycles "Orky". He eventually runs off after killing some NYPD. In a temper tantrum the NYPD kill 25 civilians and detain 50 more. Bloomberg levies a tax on green things.

>> No.23165984

Then the stray animals start to disappear, and for the first time in history, New York doesn't have a rat problem. Again, someone's gonna be taking credit for this.
Then the homeless... just aren't there anymore. You don't see them, but then, you're not supposed to notice them to begin with. The mayor will probably make a big show of opening a soup kitchen and flophouse and again, credit will be taken for the new era of a clean and prosperous New York City.
Then, what do you know, it's a new art renaissance. There's weird graffiti popping up under overpasses and over over underpasses and on the buildings, from artists no one can identify. Strange and stylistically beautiful in their simple brutality, it truly encompasses the spirit of man.

>> No.23165997

And then come the real orks. See, that first one, he just ate a few of bums in abandoned tunnels. No one noticed, what's a few less bums? No bones were found, the ork ate and digested them too. Who's gonna notice a big pile of shit in a sewer full of big piles of shit? There's some weird fungus growing down there now, but shit, I've seen weirder things in smaller sewer systems. Then the snotlings came, and snuck around picking up anything they could eat and not need to scrap over - all the garbage and litter and collected refuse of the greatest city in the world. The gretchin showed, and started to hunt for REAL meat. Stray cats, all the rats in the sewer, roadkill, snotlings that don't run fast enough. Maybe a couple more bums that are isolated and can be killed and dragged off without risk of a real scrap. Then come the orks, proper big ones, and there go all the bums, all the vagrants, all the runaways and drug addicts and anyone you see. Up go the colours, as the orks prepare an offensive to claim this new land. But while all that was happening, the infestation has flowed out of the sewers and storm drains into Jersey, all of New England, and the Atlantic. Half the eastern seaboard is already well on the way to being colonized, and no one noticed.

Now 'oo's de kommando, ye stupid gitz.

>> No.23166014

>go to ground
>because he got shot with autogun rounds
u wot git

>> No.23166059

I think this could make a really good black humor film, how the ork invasion gets bigger and bigger, and in the end they rool da world

>> No.23166061

>what is zone cauterization

40k is built around carefully ignoring MAD doctrine. Mostly, it succeeds, thanks to wacky interstellar logistics, cultural inefficiency, and ritualism.

But put it up against a civilization without those cultural or technological handicaps and 40k is in for a surprise. Dune, for example, is a post-MAD interstellar society.

On a tangent, lasguns are roughly equivalent to a .50cal. That's an awesome infantry weapon, but it's no gamechanger, because infantry weapons are basically irrelevant on the scale of a major war.

>> No.23166072

>go to ground
>because he's outnumbered one v. 20 million in the immediate countryside and it's more effective to have fun murdering transients while waiting for reinforcements

It's like you don't even understand WHY it's next to impossible to eliminate an ork infestation, once it's established.

>> No.23166095

or there ends up being different clans from all cities in the U.S to busy fighting eachother to notice the rest of the world

>> No.23166099

This makes me want to read ork fanfic about a cyberpunk world where a lone ork kommando is stranded, and how he eventually plants, fosters, breeds, and grows a full blown terrorist insurgency that boils over into all out war

Like if an ork commando got stuck on a shadowrun mega-city or whatever they're called.

>> No.23166159

The last 30 minutes of the film should be a documentary about gang life in inner city NYC and feature interviews with orks and diggas sporting different klan colors while everyone else goes about their life as if nothing changed.
I also just realized
Diggas are ork wannabes
Wiggas are black wannabes
They are one letter off

>> No.23166217

I forgot to add the part where New Jersey is functionally unchanged in pre- and post-infestation comparisons.

>> No.23166239

Orks are NEVER too busy fighting each other to go scrap some 'umies.

>> No.23166261

Well their governor would probably be the same size. Just green.


>> No.23166304

well ok too busy to invent boats, I mean its not like they'll eventually figure out there are 'umies on other continents amirite?

>> No.23166305

New Jersey actually becomes more productive because orks actually make things from time to time and have their own culture.

>> No.23166322

>ork backing down from a fight because he's outnumbered and outgunned
u wot git

>> No.23166345

MAD is irrelevant, nobody is gonna nuke New York with a single ork running rampant. Nukes are not going to eliminate the spores. Nukes weaken us as a species, and have no impact on orks as a species.

They don't give a fuck about radiation, about eating irradiated food, they don't get cancer. Meanwhile we are completely eliminating vast swathes of territory that holds the ability to produce resources.

the ONLY thing MAD accomplishes is to remove our industrial capacity and agricultural production ability and severely limit our strategic and tactical options. The orks will not give a fuck, the explosions will scatter a billion spores into the upper atmosphere. MAD is the surest and fastest way to an ork victory. Sure, if we can all sit in our space ships and nuke things from orbit then we win, but we can't.

You can't bring 40K into the real world. Reality has no chance. Reality having no chance is the entire purpose of he whole setting. IDGAF what anyone says, it's a ridiculous notion. It doesn't matter what happens to that one ork, there is literally no way we would survive. Even the people suggesting flamethrowers don't get it. Flamers in 40K use prometheum. That shit is basically liquid thermite. Napalm doesn't even come close, our flamethrowers are like matches compared to a 40k flamer and that shit STILL doesn't always work.

>> No.23166444


You're more ignorant about nukes than a twelve year old with 5 minutes on wikipedia.

Radiation goes away fast. Hiroshima was green and populated again in less than a decade.

Nuclear heat, OTOH, is far hotter than thermite. It's millions of degrees dispersed as a pulse of light. it doesn't matter how tough a spore is when the heat breaks molecular bonds.

>> No.23166478

>ork not drawing out a fight for as long as possible by being ded sneaky until more boyz show up and make it into a right proppa WAAAGH

>> No.23166603

And as a previous poster mentioned, because this heat is emitted in straight lines, there are many inter-spersed objects in an urban area that can provide a relative shadow to this heat.

It does matter how tough a spore is, because that heat is emitted in an instant with little convection. So an ork in the open? Dead as a doornail. An ork inside? On the right side of a building? Just far enough away? They'll make it.

>> No.23166621


And anyway, there's more than enough worlds in 40k with imperial humans and orks in them to prove feral orks and their spores are not much of an issue.

Even an entire ork world can be purified of the beasts with proper equipment.

>> No.23166630

Blood axes and kommandoes in general are seen as downright unorky gits.

>> No.23166676

All Clans view the other clans are downright unorky gits. Most notable of all, are the Goffs. Who eschew everything except a full-frontal-assault, preferably on foot, with stompy walkers, and with a shit-ton of nobs.

>> No.23166690

Not much of an issue to an Imperial world with Imperial understanding of what orks are and how they operate, and with Imperial technologies to conduct such purges.


>> No.23166728


Goffs are also the iconic Orks, with the most important special character being a Goff and Goffs being in the lead in most important Ork events in canon, the Armageddon Wars.

One could say they are the Black Legion or Ultramarines of Ork.

>> No.23166763


40k not only ignores MAD when convenient, it ignores air superiority and a thousand other things most importantly proper surveillance and basic strategy.

>> No.23166765

This makes me want to WRITE such a fanfic, really makes me miss the old Black Library forums where people posted such things. Fucking GW, man....

>Day 1: Da bitz went squiggly an I herd a buzznoise. Ends summat green-grey place. 'Umies. Got me a roight base, gunna git me dinna. Den thinkin toime.

>Day 2: Dese 'umies ain't arf bad. Stinky 'umie for brekkers, savory but 'e don't run so good. Boyz'd loik it 'ere. Gunna troi a dakka 'umie lata, see if dey's stronga or bigga.

>> No.23166838

>GW decided to back-pedal and wipe out the Eye of Terror campaign's fluff, and instead leave the timeline "just before"

this is AGAIN yet another reason to hate games workshop.

It's amazing how player-unfriendly this business is. It rustles me still, and I haven't spent a dollar on their vomit in years.

>> No.23166926

on this topic, does an ork need food to grow? Seeing as they grow larger when they win fights (?) do they need to feed for this to happen, or is it waaaagh related?

>> No.23166943


That Tau has a Weapon Skill superior to a genetically enhanced, surgically modified and trained from childhood super soldier.

I think we can let him pass on killing one Ork Nob.

>> No.23166994


Yeah, as Yarrick's example shows a WS5 S3 guy can successfully kill even a warboss in melee.

>> No.23167037

Presumably yes, but considering that Orks can and will eat damn near anything (including smaller Orks in a pinch) it rarely becomes an issue.

>> No.23167099

Stella Artwaaagh
my sides
please dont tell me im the only one who gets this?

>> No.23167138

as in stella artois, yeah we get it

>> No.23167143

Pretty sure you're not alone.

>> No.23170187


I had a Stella the other day. It was delicious.

On-topic, the high points have already been hit. One Boy is going to start a scrap, and he's probably going to take some gunfire. That will end one of two ways: he can scarper and go to ground. That ends in eventual ork infestation.

Option two, he kills some cops and triggers a serious ramp-up. NYPD won't need National Guard, they have enough paramilitary shit to eventually bring him down with weight of lead alone. Spores are spread, and the wheels of bureaucracy turn.

The government's gonna go apeshit at sudden appearance of a rampaging alien monster. All sorts of panic switches will be flipped, everyone will go on high alert... and nothing will happen. There's no follow-up invasion.

Then six months down the road, you get snotlings and squigs, and don't you think for a second that (A) people won't make pets of them, even if banned in the strictest possible manners, and (B) you even have a single chance in hell of cleansing the spores now.

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