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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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[ERROR] No.23094121 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Your character lies on the ground, mortally wounded.
The other party members are all dead, he/her is the last to fall.
The BBEG stands over him/her, ready to deliver the killing blow.
What are his/her last words?

>> No.23094136

Hastur Hastur Hastur

>> No.23094156

Please don't kill me.

He's a social character, it would probably work.

>> No.23094159

Rolled 53

"There will be others. Prepare yourself, villain"

>> No.23094171

"Good game. What are we playing next? I call dibs on Wizard."

>> No.23094176

Pazuzu Pazuzu Pazuzu.

>> No.23094182

Do what you must.
I have already won!

>> No.23094183

My current character would pull out his dick and piss on the villain before being slain.

>> No.23094187

Power word: Kill

>> No.23094197

Guys, no.

The thread ended here >>23094136

>> No.23094205



>> No.23094207

"Your next line is, 'what the hell are you so cocky about?'!"

>> No.23094225

You are aware that the King in Yellow is not the Candyman, right? You can't summon him by saying his name. It's just that if you say his name he becomes aware of you and has the option to show up.

He'd probably just watch you die.

>> No.23094231

"Tau Eta Tau Sigma". It's the activation for that cortex bomb. I told you I was willing to do it, if that's what it took to bring this fucker down.

>> No.23094232


>> No.23094240

"Fool! you think this is my real head?!"

>> No.23094242

My knight
>See you soon.

My paladin who worships the goddess of death would probably just close her eyes. A life well lived.

>> No.23094251

Hastur isn't the king in yellow.

>> No.23094267

"I would like to spend my last fate point now!"

>> No.23094275

...Elaborate please. Why do you say that? I thought the implication was that he was.

>> No.23094285

I use Fivefold Breath to kill us both, so:


>> No.23094287


He would then explode, killing himself and the BBEG

>> No.23094296

hello player one i'd jumop up and down on top of your boobies?

>> No.23094297

"I hope I give you the shits you fucking wimp."

>> No.23094302

Pocket sand.

>> No.23094307

No, the implication is that he's a herald or avatar of his. No more Hastur than your sock is you.

>> No.23094318

No last words.

Smile through bloody and possibly broken teeth. Spit at the BBEG, aim at its face.

Die with a knowing smile.

>> No.23094331

"I regret a surprisingly numerous amount of things."

>> No.23094339

My BBEG wouldn't give me enough time to say something.

>> No.23094349

"Good fight."

>> No.23094354

>you can only summon his sock

>> No.23094372

Would the king in yellows sock be enough to kill somebody?

>> No.23094378

An avatar is the earthly manifestation of a deity, not a separate entity.

>> No.23094381


>> No.23094391

(OOC): I try to charm him
DM being a fucktard: What, okay.
Me: Hey, prettyboy. You're kinda cute. How's about you and I forget about this whole end of the world thing and ride off into the sunset together? .

>> No.23094397

"you forgot, I'm the demolitions expert"

>> No.23094400

Candle jac-

>> No.23094416

my sides are in orbit

>> No.23094430

"Oh bother not again. . ."

>> No.23094431

They used to be white socks, so they'll smell terrible.

>> No.23094454



>my character
"Kiiiiilll... yoooouuu!"
Because if the rest of the party is dead, we're fighting an Essence 8 or 9 thing - probably another Exalt - but more importantly my character's reason for living is dead (hooray for mentally unstable co-dependant super-powered titan-slaying monstrosities!).

So I'd have snapped by now and will be focusing on nothing but the BBEG's utter annihilation until my very last breath.

>> No.23094457

Then the explosives go off.

>> No.23094468

>BBEG then stutters and runs away, made extremely nervous by your advances
>he then goes home and has regrets about the time he tried to ask a girl out that led to his turn to evil and how he will always be too beta to actually get in a relationship
>you get 10 gold and 100 experience, everyone else make a new sheet

>> No.23094469

"You're gonna carry that weight."

>> No.23094493

You're coming with me.

(Goes full kamikaze thanks to that one fire spell)

>> No.23094506

A herald and an avatar are two completely different things. I thought he was an avatar in the guise of a herald.

>> No.23094511

Omae wa mo shindeiru.

>> No.23094516

Fuck the police.
I'm epic level, you drop anybody to 0 and they come back in like a day. Hell, the Avenger's sword is still up and trying to kill you, look out for that, and like half the party you 'killed' will be fine this time tomorrow.
And now we know all your moves.

>> No.23094519

"I fucked your mother's sister's daughter's best friend's ex-boyfriend's ex-girlfriend's sister's former roommate in the bunghole thirty-five minutes ago."

>> No.23094527

"Well, fuck."

>> No.23094544

If you strike me down I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!

then i roll my bluff

>> No.23094553


>> No.23094557

Me: Hey! Hey guys! We beat 'im!
Guys? Guys, come on, let's celebroooooooooh. You're all dead.
Welp, better go back to town. Promise I'll give you guys a proper funeral.
*Rummaging through their stuff*

>> No.23094569

"This isn't over, you know.
Even if you kill me now, more will rise up to fight you.
No matter how many times this scene happens, it will continue to repeat, for there will always be men willing to sacrifice themselves for others, something you could not understand.
So kill me if you must, good will prevail either way."

>> No.23094607


>> No.23094625

>> No.23094629


>> No.23094647

I die proud, for I die fighting.

>> No.23094700

>Jokes on you i filled my coat with bees

>> No.23094715

>"P-please don't kill me mister, I'll do anything! I was just goin' with them 'cause I wanted to be an adventurer!"

>> No.23094731


>> No.23094739

I regret nothing. Can you say the same?

>> No.23094750

I'm ready for the afterlife. Are you?

>> No.23094780

w0t hivemind

>> No.23094784

If you kill me, 400 armed men will break down this door and murder everyone inside.

My DM told me to make a useless college student for our African adventure. So I did.
>Nothing but social skills
>At all

>> No.23094790

You know what's under-rated? Switching sides.

>> No.23094791


>> No.23094819

Yeah, well, at least I'm not ugly.

>> No.23094820

... I don't get it.

>> No.23094838


>> No.23094840

"Fuck you."

>> No.23094848

Hey, you aren't OP, I'm OP!
The real OP would know that Pocketsand is from KotH!

>> No.23094852


>> No.23094858


>> No.23094870

>I guess it's time to use "THAT"

>> No.23094876

Dude, we just had a moment, there. I was totally in sync with Anon.

Trippy, man

>> No.23094882

>You don't mean, *THAT* do you?!

>> No.23094929

"Well damn, looks like I've failed.
I'm sorry."

>> No.23094940

I cast...*cough*...fireball...*cough..centered on myself.

>> No.23094993

"It's time to shit."

>> No.23094994

This is all actually just an illusion. You were pulled into an epic level spell 3 years ago and have been trapped re-living your life ever since. Imprisoned in your own mind. The only way to make it out of here is to do something that would be entirely out of character for you; thats why no one ever escapes this spell. You must spare me, and kill yourself. Then you will wake back up in reality.

> mfw I have 75 bluff

> mfw I'm level 10

>> No.23095005

He clicks his magic wizard boot's heels and says
"there's no place like home"

Everyone in a three mile radius is vaporized instantly

>> No.23095068

holy fuck, it has been ages since I've seen any Dale Gribble antics. fantastic.

sorry, leftover in autocomplete from a different thread. my bad.

>> No.23095070

Blow my flute of cloudkill

>> No.23095085


>> No.23095154

Who won?
Then set off the c4

>> No.23095163

Launch every shift of power I have and everything I've stored up into a massive fire AoE spell

>> No.23095172


>> No.23095182

"There's...something you should know. That dwarf you killed...he can't die permanently. It just makes him angry. ...You might want to turn around."

>> No.23095183

Those who understand this are awesome

>> No.23095204

It's been fun. My god.

>> No.23095224


"Death is but a door, time is but a window: I'll be back."

I'm probably the last of the BBEG party.

>> No.23095227

>"I guess now would be a good time to vent that 15 overcharge."

>> No.23095234

Fucker, haven't you heard the stories of Lucky Two-Fingers the Deathlessness?
Here's a hint: they don't end with me dying.

>> No.23095261

you sunnovabitch...

however, there's so many places that ridiculous rigmarole of metamagic cluster-fuckwittery can break down, not the least of which is the fact that Explosive Spell, even if you COULD get it on a spell that large, would only fling things that have a clear line of effect to the edge, and it only effects viable targets (essentially any "creature" that can't be contrued as an "object" in that it is animate.) anything effected just flies until it hits something, then takes damage as if it had fallen the distance it traveled, not the distance it -could have- traveled. so, in most cases, you'll get things flung a couple dozen feet before they strike something immobile in one capacity or another and stop. think about it? unless you're in wide open terrain, its hard to draw a straight line away from you in any direction that doesn't run into something pretty quickly. I mean, sure, there are certain circumstances that could make it awesome, like if this fight happened on top of a tower or something, but...

I digress. fuck it.

>> No.23095265


>That DM

>> No.23095303

Even if you kill me, you will undo all of reality!

You, me, everything will have never existed!

>> No.23095305

>not actions
Trigger DT.

>> No.23095336


As long as the blood of brave men falls upon fertile soil I will not have truly died.

>> No.23095361


>> No.23095368

"It doesn't have to end this way."

>> No.23095373

At least I don't have to pay taxes anymore.

>> No.23095390

Through his broken glasses, he looks up and extends a shaking, bloody hand.

"G-good... game..."

>> No.23095426


I was really just thinking of the bbeg standing over the hero part. BBeg sent to lower orbit if open sky above. I think this is the best picture i have for villian's face when.

>> No.23095486

"I came in your boot last night while you slept"

>> No.23095504



"All of my moments are now lost like... tears... in the rain. Time to die."

And it turns out party was BBEG all along.

>> No.23095529

I know you have come to kill me. Do it coward, you are only going to kill a man!

>> No.23095572

Well, I tried. See you in hell, motherfucker.

>> No.23095602

That right there was the deepest, most heartfelt like in all of Dead Space.
I wonder if the third one is worth it. The new features turn me off.

>> No.23095615

Looks like I lose again.

>> No.23095658


>> No.23095700

"Well...well done...you've played the part of the conquering hero quite well...hm? That...look on your face...don't...tell me...

Ha...hahaha....HAHAHA! You, you actually believed YOU were the villain? No, no, if anything, you were only playing the part of one to defeat us, the 'heroes'.

That look on your face says you have no idea what the ever living fuck I just said. I suppose that's understandable. You see, we're both nothing but pawns in some high stakes political game the nobles are playing. Truth be told, I barely understand it myself. Basically, no matter who wins, the victor shall be hailed as the hero, with the nobles pulling various strings for their own ends, whatever they may be. So go on, 'villain', and...claim...your....vic..tory...&quot

...I just went into full retard JRPG revelation territory, didn't I?

>> No.23095711

Heres my neck. Don't botch your swing, bastard.

>> No.23095728

It's pretty bad.

>> No.23095732

>I break out in tears

>> No.23095737

I've beaten it. Playing through Classic Mode and a New Game+

It is... flawed. But it is not terrible. It's a decent followup. It attempts to do some new things, some work, others don't. The level design is skewed to the Co-Op, but it's still traversible in SP. The Crafting element is ok, but similarly it's also got a lot of garbage. You just wont know what weapons actually work best when you make them or use them, and the lack of emphasis on tools feels a little bit like betrayal. Also, the love triangle aspect is forced and hurts the character drama.

That all said...

Isaac is still Isaac, and still a category A bonafide badass. There's a lot of emotional depth and great body language conveyed throughout the story, and while some people I know were disappointed concerning the revelation of what convergence is, there's still an awful lot of mystery surrounding the Markers, so I'm satisfied. I don't even find the revelation disappointing either.

The combat mechanics are still mostly the same, but the roll mechanic, crouch, and the fights with human enemies feel tacked on. And the enemy diversity is kinda lacking.

It's still worth picking up, no regrets buying it. But don't expect DS2 again. It's a close followup to DS1 for me, and that's just because DS1 had the best atmosphere to me of all the games.

Oh yeah, fuck snow planets. Goddamn.

>> No.23095775

G-goddammit...I fucked up. You don't have to do this! It can't end like this, please!

>> No.23095787

Snow planets are the reason I never touched Lost Planet. Fuck that.

If it's no DS2, I'm really gonna have to think about it.

>> No.23095792

*Spit blood on his shoes* "Do your worst, you pussy."

>> No.23095800

There are other worlds than this. I'll be waiting for you.

>> No.23095801

Please don't kill me, I'm begging you, you win. I don't wanna die, please no!
This is followed by sobbing and pissing himself.

>> No.23095823

Ok, this might make you feel better.

Roughly the first third or half or so are pretty fantastic. And the Unitologist antagonist gives the cult a face you hate but works really well. It's not DS2, but it's not as disappointing as Halo 3 was to some of us.

>> No.23095828

The Lich proceeds to heed to your advice, and does not kill you. Instead, he uses you as a sex slacv, violently ravaging your butthole with his boner every day. You eventually grow to like it.

>> No.23095876

>sex slacv
>sex slav

>> No.23095884

" Joke is on you, I'm wearing a nuclear bomb suicide vest!"

>> No.23095908

"Do you expect me to beg now? Do your worst, asshole!" And then spit on his face.

>> No.23095925

You are gravely mistaken.

My character cannot die. My character will not die.

My character is Deadpool, and I have broken the 4th Wall. The writers won't let me stay dead for long.

>> No.23095933

You know, it's funny. I was suppose to die first. I was always supposed to be first. You took that away from me, the one thing I wanted. Dick.
I only have one thing left.
Electrode! Explosion!

>> No.23095937

Well, you're forgetting one thing. If I fail to report, 008 replaces me.

>> No.23095942


>> No.23095956

muh dick

>> No.23095972

Goddamn FOEs

>> No.23095976

(Insert god here), grant your disciple strength to face evil for this last time.

>> No.23095999

Dark Heresy character:

Code Magenta. Exterminatus Authorization Gamma Gamma Sigma Omega Ultra Sigma. May the Emperor be with you.

My Ascension character is an Interrogator. Our BBEG is a Chaos Space Marine Lord. Our mission was to kill him, by any means necessary. And I just gave the authorization code from our Inquisitor to destroy this planet.

>> No.23096026

"Th-Thank you..."

>> No.23096045

Ah, fuck.

>> No.23096072

Ah, fuck, I can't believe you've done this.

>> No.23096112


>> No.23096194

the paladin i play wouldn't say anything he's the strong silent type when he isn't winning
the lizard soldier would just be like "can't win em all"
my smuggler would have a cheesy one liner to go out on, maybe some joke.

>> No.23096224

"Dark lord... I served you well, did I not?" *death rattle*

>> No.23096236

Fucking noob bullshit faggots bbeg needs nerf now plz faggot cheap shit fuck this shit im out.

>> No.23096260

I open my journal and show it to him.

>> No.23096283

In the ancient arcane tongues, focused with such intensity that great might is infused to a single, powerful word:


>> No.23096322

Pazuzu pazuzu pazuzu.

>> No.23096333

Those aren't explosive runes.

>> No.23096352

Now you'll never know where I

>> No.23096363

>Death comes to us all. The Gravelord will accept me with open arms, as he shall with you. Death pardons all sin.

>> No.23096387


>>Spend last fate point
>>Kill BBEG and die.
>>Become interred in Dreadnought

>> No.23096401

"If only.... I had... played more video games."

>> No.23096427

"SUCK EXPLOSIVES COCKGUZZLER" And that is when she sets off one of the many bombs she carries on her. That bitch loves explosions.

>> No.23096450

If it's my warforged artificer, the only words I can think of are;

Self-destruct in 1.

>> No.23096464

"Time for round two." Which happens to be the activation phrase for my amulet of teleportation.
Dying's a sucker's game.

>> No.23096529

>All these Power Word: Kills

Meanwhile, BBEG is getting all, "Any last words" with my main Pathfinder character. My Rogue, with prestige Shadowdancer, main character.

>"Any last words?"
"Yeah. Do you know what I am?"
>"A helpless feck?"
"I mean what classification I am, freak."
>"Shadowdancer. Why?"
"Do you know why we're called that?"
>"I have no idea. It's stupid really. You waste your last words on---"
"Because we dance with shadows."

Cue my Shadow rising up from the ground behind him, impaling him with its arms, and heavily strength draining him.

>"Hah! You think this little nuisance can stop me?"
"No. I just needed it behind you."
Roll to sneak attack on flanked opponent.

>> No.23096531


>> No.23096545

Last words, people. WORDS.
Not action/events/activating.
You are all pussies for not just accepting death.

>> No.23096549

I die so that democracy may live.

>> No.23096576

"But I'm not mortal!"

>> No.23096587

"Kill me if you have to, just leave my family alone. They're no threat to you."

Sure, this ensures most of my family will be slaughtered, but there's always one kid who survives and ends up killing the villain in these stories.

>> No.23096603

"This is for Matilda"

>> No.23096618


>> No.23096631

*Grabs you by the throat*


>> No.23096640



>> No.23096643

>nut using "be not"

>> No.23096649

Beatlejuice Beatlejuice Beatlejuice

>> No.23096661

"My only regret in life is not partying too hard enough."

>> No.23096669


Aw fine. If my character is resigned to death, and there really nothing I can do...

>"Any last words?"
"Only ones to stall you, and I can't imagine that will work. Let's get this over with already, my teacher's terribly impatient, I've been keeping her waiting all these years, she's going to be livid with me. Feel free to make it as painful as you like, I want to be ready for his training again."

>> No.23096670



>> No.23096674

"I'm sorry but,... my time here is ogre"

>> No.23096689

For the Emperor

>> No.23096736


>> No.23096863

With contingency spells, last words and actions are literally the same thing. It's nice to know that if some fuckwit has you down to 0 HP and all you have left is your tremendous spite, you can mutter something like "join me in hell, motherfucker" and then the room will be filled with seven maximized empowered fireballs you placed on yourself over the course of the week. For two spell slots a day it's a hell of a fuck you to any BBEG and the DM. Hell, for that low a cost you could do it all the time just in case and run around with 17-20 of the god damn things tied to you at all times, all keyed to the same phrase. No one could even know they were there until you went off like a god damn nuke.

>> No.23096868

You're STILL not my real mom!

>> No.23096948


>> No.23096951


"This ending is only one of many. While you have been striving for closure on this reality, I have been ensuring mine in countless others. Enjoy your single, fleeting moment of triumph. I assure you, we will meet again."

>> No.23096957

I only wish I went to more orgies!

>> No.23096999

"I wish I had spent more time in the office."

>> No.23097067

"I suppose we know now which one of us has justice on his side...I hope the gods will accept my penance."

>> No.23097082

Rust in Peace?

>> No.23097108

Rest in peace you steel American.

>> No.23097159


>> No.23097190

"Command Code: Armageddon"

As a side note, it was such a fucking bitch to modify that Vortex Grenade so it could be Vox-Operated.

>> No.23097192

GG guys, GG

>> No.23097196

>Liberty Prime was right

>> No.23097206

>pull a mirror out of my pocket, look into it
Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary
>point mirror at my opponenet

>> No.23097216


>> No.23097232


>> No.23097243

"If you only wore a skirt Toots."

>> No.23097265

"You're going to lose. You lack conviction."

>> No.23097281

And then I blow us both up somehow.

>> No.23097325

But OP, I am the BBEG. I wouldn't like murderous hobos standing above me as I bleed out, though.

"Damn hobos, stealing my life essence and shit."

>> No.23097355

>DS1 has the best atmosphere
That was the entire point of the game!

>> No.23097372

That is the only movie that has ever made me cry.

>> No.23097392

Y'know, you really are the best friend I ever had.

Thank you. For everything.

>> No.23097393

Not "So that's what that does"

>> No.23097394

strike me down and i shall roll a new character more powerful than you can imagine.

>> No.23097400

"I never fight alone." A callback to an obfuscated warning I gave earlier in the campaign.

Then I pop my Psionic focus and spontaneously manifest between 4 and 6 Overchanneled, Talented, Transcend Limits'd Anathemic Carapaces. I tell the biggest one to detonate, and the others to fail their reflex saves.

>> No.23097408

You stay.
I go.
No follow."

>> No.23097439

"You cannot stop what I have started."

>> No.23097467

I might die but the idea that men should be free shall never die.

>> No.23097468

Fus Ro Dah

>> No.23097479 [SPOILER] 

"Activate... The Omega 13."

>> No.23097541

"Your father never loved you. Also that helmet makes you look like an obese pitchfork."

>> No.23097549

At most, "P-Please...don't hurt me!"

And lots of sobbing and shaking, etc.

She's kinda timid.

>> No.23097564


>> No.23097581 [SPOILER] 

Hah, didn't expect to lose so fast.
Still, time for plan B.

>> No.23097597

I've got this burning like my veins are filled
With nothing but gasoline.
And with a spark,
It's gonna be the biggest fire they've ever seen.
Cut me down or let me run,
Either way it's all gonna burn...
The only way that they'll ever learn

We've got to turn it off,

Flip a switch.

Light up the night!

>> No.23097648

"They'd love it here."
> "Who?"
"Mom and Dad. They'd be so proud."

>> No.23097653

'Twas a good day to live, and a good day to die.
Into the Kingdom of Steel I shall ride!

>> No.23097671

"I ate your daughter."

It's probably true. He has the quality Poor Self Control (Compulsive: Eating relatives of people he doesn't like). Silly blood adepts.

>> No.23097686

One last trick to end the show.

>> No.23097718

"H...has anyone re--*cough*--really been far even as...decided to use even go...want to do...look...more...like?"

>> No.23097744

Blade with whom I have lived, blade with whom I now die.
Serve right and justice one last time.
Seek one last heart of evil, still one last life of pain.
Cut well old friend, and then... farewell.

>> No.23097746

The doctor is out.

>> No.23097757

>see filename

>> No.23097766


>> No.23097776


>> No.23097777



...has left the building."

>> No.23097796

"Your mother brayed like a horse when I fucked her."

>> No.23097805


Shit, and this was the first reply too? Well played.

>> No.23097808

"Not again"

>> No.23097832

"I would like the lie now."

>> No.23097833

Kill me. A man chooses... A slave... obeys! KILL!

>> No.23097840


>> No.23097844

>You are aware that the King in Yellow is not the Candyman, right? You can't summon him by saying his name.

You DO know who Old Man Henderson is, right?

>> No.23097853

"And you're next words will be, "What are your last words hero?""

>> No.23097855

"About damn time. They needed a martyr.
Remember me on the gallows."

>> No.23097856

my nigga.

>> No.23097864

oh shit! my other nigga!

>> No.23097865

>tfw Liberty Prime died fighting the last true remnants of the United States of America
>tfw he eliminated any chance for the United States to rise again

These tears won't stop.

>> No.23097883

what episode was this? I always see this pic but I don't recall where I've seen this in the show.

>> No.23097885

Why do people have a hard on for this fanfic garbage? Hastur was fuck all until Derleth made him into a Great Old One and said he was the half-brother of Cthulhu. Seriously? WTF

>> No.23097892

"Gotta... Go.... Fast..."

>> No.23097898

They were traitors to the constitution they were sworn to uphold. No better than the goddamned Red Chinese.

>> No.23097899

the one where he loses his nametage

>> No.23097905

>Why do people have a hard on for this fanfic garbage?

Old Man Henderson is a /tg/ treasure, fuck you.

>> No.23097907

"You might have defeated me,
again you've unseated He,
our followers retreated for now.

But what you've missed,
the inconceivable twist,
Is that the men have taken a vow.

We're all sick of your lies,
all lows and no highs,
slaves like a horse to a plow.

So don't fear for your lives,
Because we'll take you as wives.
We'll keep you alive to kowtow."

> So ends the tale of Fifty Silver, former Drow untermensch, famous singer and male revolutionary leader.

>> No.23097910

Persuasion roll; I beg for my life.

Playing a Bard isn't so useless now is it, fuckers.

>> No.23097926

Our parents will be really pissed about this.
I sent them a nice long letter this morning.
Then I die, and our parents walk in. Cue a monumental shitfight.

>> No.23097927

"I authorize Exterminatus. May the God Emperor forgive us."

>> No.23097933

Unless you stood out as a member of your party, it might actually incline him to let you go. After all, leaving a bard alive means there are stories of his victory to tell. If you were even slightly a thorn in his side though, he will probably still kill you.

>> No.23097942


>> No.23097948


>> No.23097954

>Fifty Silver
I think I love you anon

>> No.23097961


>> No.23097975


>> No.23097980

"Sorry, Miss Nanako...looks like I won't be making it to the beach after all..."

>> No.23097982

I poop myself.

>> No.23097983

Thats some Troll 2 level acting.

>> No.23097999


>> No.23098052

This is literally the worst thing that's ever happened to me, and yet I've still somehow had a worse day.

>> No.23098059

Dog ill suck them toes if you let me lve

>> No.23098074

Many thanks.

> "It's because I'm black, isn't it?"
> Mysogonistic hip-hop culture is now the overcompensating by abused former slaves
> He sings rhyming verse common to the Drow underclasses
> Absurd artist names are now degrading identifiers given by the women
> Support groups where liberated drow men try to integrate into surface society and practice not flinching every time a woman raises her voice.

"Hi everyone, I'm Exhibit. I've left the Underdark behind me for five years now. Now I have a job at a bakery, and I enjoy making pastry scrolls for children. Today I was talking to my female supervisor, and indicated to her a problem with the oven. Despite how my life underground has taught me to behave, I didn't cry or grovel. I held my head high, and spoke like an equal to - to her!"

>> No.23098078

>My character laughs and begins fumbling with his tactical vest
>He presses a button concealed in the pouch and rips open the vest to reveal a square metal package
>The package begins to beep
>It beeps faster and faster, a timer going for five seconds
>Then it opens up to reveal a set of speakers
>This begins drifting from the speakers


>> No.23098101

Well played

>> No.23098109

That's actually a good question because I faced that today. I just turned around and asked for a last question concerning an item that scared the living shit out of some dragons.

The dragon didn't got to finish me off because I got saved by the time entity I had some shenanigans with but still that even gave me one more catchphrase

>> No.23098133

"Sic em' Schmetterling."

Then my pet basilisk eats his face.

>> No.23098161

All these posts with their speshul back up plans are so pathetic.

>> No.23098168

Except this one. This back up plan is not pathetic.

>> No.23098175

I can go out in a blaze of glory if I want to.

>> No.23098178

"Tell our children I love them"

>> No.23098188

That shot gun seems flawed

>> No.23098195

I must also mention that on an earlier ocasion I threatened to kill myself if the dragon that was attacking me and friends would try to kill one of them. We're all parts of a seal keeping Tiamat ded for good and that dragons was allegedly on Bahamut's side.

>> No.23098205


>> No.23098287

See it was reversed for me. I was playing an evil warlord and the party that came to kill me was all paladins and clerics. They stompped the floor with me and as I lay there dying on the ground their leader began his heroic speech, "You have been beaten dark lord, your armies scattered and hold burned to ash. I ask you now in the light of Pelor and the just gods, why you committed these sins? You burned whole cities, sacrificed women and children, set about a dark crusade that will take hundreds of years for the people to recover from! You unleashed ancient evils and devils to torment the land! You impaled hundreds of thousands merely to make yourself known and feared! Why have you done this monster? What say you?! WHAT SAY YOU?!"
And I calmly looked up at him and with my last breathe I gasped and said, "The.. Aristocrats." before finally succombing to my wounds.

>> No.23098290

>pic related

>> No.23098301

I begin to laugh, "You have given me the honor of dying in battle, something you will most likely never feel. You shall grow old, you will feel the power leaking out of your body and the rising enemies around you waiting for your fall. Your death shall be rejoiced as one rejoices the falling of a tree, you will be collared in your old age by someone greater than you. Though I may have fallen, I fall to one stronger than I and have no regrets."

>> No.23098328


yes, finally, FINALLY!

>> No.23098338


>> No.23098342

Asmodeus Asmodeus Asmodeus

>> No.23098344


>> No.23098367

If you strike me down, I will arise again; stronger than you could ever imagine.
>Kills me
>Doesn't realize my phylactery is the recently dead body of my dragonkin comrade
>And then I was the one-armed half-cyborg dracolich

>> No.23098369

"You'll never find the antidote in time."

>> No.23098371


I don't even know where The Aristocrats joke came from.

>> No.23098402

You're still the ugliest wench I've seen.

>> No.23098417

Fuck off alucard

I love you anon

>> No.23098534

>Naive Paladin character who only cares about protecting her friends

*turns her head and looks at the dead party* "I'm so sorry...." *single tear*

>Absolutely fucking insane rogue that creates her own throwable traps
"Boom." *demented gnomish laughter, fireball from chest*

>> No.23098575

As dear Caligula said,
"Ad huc vivo!"

>> No.23098594

What's the worst that could happen

>> No.23098660

You hit like a 6 year old halfling girl.

NE Law of the Jungle type druid with a 5 cha.

>> No.23099497

I love you man.

>> No.23099553


>> No.23102667

I just hand him this ring and ask him if he'll make me the happiest man in Hell.

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