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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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[ERROR] No.23083317 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Unusual/funny magical artifacts thread?

>> No.23083413

What about a ring that lets you see fart clouds

>> No.23083430

Mask of forgetting
(this is something that can only really be used by the PC's)

When worn by a player character, anybody that talks must make a DC 28 will save or forget everything that has happened. They will forget that they saw the PC and assume that they were doing whatever they were doing.
When they see the mask again they will get back all of their memories but will forget them as they walk away.

>> No.23083433

The cloak of visibility; it makes you visible to others no matter what environment you're in.

>> No.23083441

Useful if you are setting up some stuff involving mind reading and Manchurian Agents...

You can make an entire campaign on it!

>> No.23083461

goggles of invisibility
everything you look at become invisible

>> No.23083465

I'm on to you /d/, but I guess there's no harm in giving you the ring...

>> No.23083473

>someone just painted the lenses black

>> No.23083496


>> No.23083515

now all we need is the necklace of flatulence and the butt to face magnet set

>> No.23083522

Briefs of Endowment

They cast an illusion on the wearer that gives him (or her!) the appearance of an enormous schvonstukker. The illusion fades when the briefs are removed.

>> No.23083533

Not to mention the belt of gender change
So a sausage tied to the insides of a pair of briefs?

>> No.23083543

I want my setting to have manchurian agents

>> No.23083556

Sword of Ironcutting

Cuts Iron and other Metals Like Butter but breaks if it hits anything else

>> No.23083570

>not Sword of Robot Killing

>> No.23083581

Sword of farts

Great sword, smells and makes fart noises when used, hilt has butt and fart detailings

>> No.23083596

Ring of metal-phase

When worn, standard materials will pass through the body of the wearer. Even adamantine and mithril will pass through as if there is nothing there.
The trick is to leave a metal block on the ground, the players will fall in. Other players can't destroy the metal block without harming the player, the player cannot remove the ring and they will slowly suffocate.

>> No.23083599

Anal beads of strength, beads get progressively larger

grants strength, requires the insertion of anal beads. Strength bonus increases with number of beads inserted

>> No.23083616

also everyone instantly believes the fart came from the person struck as such they are publically embarressed and humiliated

>> No.23083623

Bra of endowment

Bra causes the enlargement of breasts, and allows the wearer to produce milk that provides 100% ofnutritional needs for 24 hour (ie, regardless of activity)

Can only be worn by males

>> No.23083627

>Be Dr Marbles
>Become the Muscle Wizard

>> No.23083630

Sub-machine gun of thunder...basically a dozen of rod of thunder&lightning bunched up together on a small wooden wheel that can be spinned using a lever...I WAS 12 DON'T JUDGE ME!!!!!

>> No.23083642

Blade of the Conversationalist. Any wound left by this sword becomes another mouth on the victim's body. Mouths speak independently of the victim's will, and are conversant in 1d4 topics.

They never shut up.

>> No.23083647

armband of acute smell

wearer can smell great distances and with great accuracy. They can only detect the smell of farts however.

>> No.23083655

You cut yourself on the sword when you first get it

>> No.23083669

The spectacles of Jojo
Reality itself looks like the Jojo artstyle
You become ridiculously fabulous

>> No.23083681

The Edge

Incredibly powerful sword.

Only works for cynical teenage males.

>> No.23083689

Gloves of great wit

Gloves grants great charisma and wit to a person, however, the functions of their mouth and anus are reversed. The gloves can only be removed after a shit is taken.

>> No.23083695

Ring of Animism

It let,s the wearer talk with objects/animals like they are in a disney movie.

Side effect: Randomly bursting into song.

If you wear it for a whole day you become more visually colorful and get a bonus to dodge.
A week and you become 2 dimensional. And a drawing.

>> No.23083698

My sides. Its like im 12 again

>> No.23083701

A simple silver goblet that removes the alcohol from anything poured inside. It was originally created by a band of temperance wizards to stop people from drinking, but a smart con artist knows it's value for hustling drinking games.

>> No.23083705

What are you implying?

>> No.23083706

remember the more queer you look like the stronger you are

>> No.23083708

It'd be amazing if they were included without the side effects being explained until after their used

>> No.23083730

You got that right

>> No.23083735

Tiara of the Grammarian

A beautiful silver circlet frosted in diamonds, the wearer is granted full and exacting command of a chosen language for 24 hours. While worn, the wearer speaks with perfect grammatical correctness. Only wearable by barbarians.

>> No.23083749

my DM loves to hand out items that are useful , but look garish ridiculous. In his opinion, if his party doesn't look like a hairmetal band threw up on them he isn't doing it right.

case in point, my current weapon is actually the laquered ponytail of a unicorn shaped into a sword. it streaks rainbows when I swing it apparently and produces 1d4 colourful butterflies on hit.

>> No.23083754

Was this today's Oglaf OP?

>> No.23083774

You seem to know exactly what I'm implying.

>> No.23083786

Your GM sounds fabulous

>> No.23083793

>Conan the Grammarian

>> No.23083798

Last time a thread on /tg/ was started with a comic starring that party, this happened.

>> No.23083810

>Conan the Mammarian

>> No.23083821

Bracer Of Mysterious All Powerful Power Of Mysteriousness

The wearer needs to act mysteriously at all times. The effects are only known to the DM and never to the players, but they are powerful effects indeed...

>> No.23083825

Puss Wagon.
A magical wagon full of cats. The cats disappear if removed from the wagon for more than 4d6 hours. The supply of cats is never ending, unless the cart is destroyed.

I'm sorry, but with the way this thread has been, I had to.

>> No.23083830

this is actually good, im gonna place it on my campaing and lets see if one of the girls take it


>> No.23083839

The Halfling Helper

A Small magical staff. When set upon the ground and activated, levitates and unfailingly orients itself towards the nearest source of food and ale.

>> No.23083841

>Implying it wouldnt be great to be Ace Ventura: Adventurer

>> No.23083846

Sword of dragon laying.

Everyone assumes the S just got scratched off somewhere

>> No.23083856

The S was actually moved over next to the D and transformed into an R

>> No.23083858 [DELETED] 


>> No.23083859


>> No.23083862

The Staff of Writers. When you carry the Staff of Writers everything you say is as finely worded as if you had a room full of bards working on each speech for a week.

>> No.23083870

I don't get it

>> No.23083876

>as if you had a room full of bards working on each speech for a week
You say that like it's a good thing

>> No.23083883

Dagon is an asshole who likes to mess with mortals

>> No.23083899

Stick Of Silence

If you touch it you become a mute until you give the stick to someone else. If you drop it without someone else touching it you are permanently mute.

>> No.23083902

>sword of vibrations
you think it'd deal sonic damage, but no it just vibrates all the time. Really hard. In fact, it's pretty uncomfortable to even hold it.

>> No.23083912

Practical Journal

A journal which keeps entries in itself, perfectly recording your adventures and treasure received, adding a new entry any time you receive a new quest, meet a new person, or find new treasure.

It marks each new entry with a loud noise so that you remember to review it often.

>> No.23083917

I like you.

It's a common joke around our table that CHA is the exact same thing as genital length in inches.
This, of course, means that anyone (even chicks) with high Charisma scores have improbably huge dongs.

Now, anyone with CHA of 12+ will basically fall unconscious from blood loss whenever they are around someone else with a high CHA (due to that person being hot, and what not).

There's a joke in there somewhere.

It's probably gross.

>> No.23083923

>The S was actually moved over next to the D and transformed into an R

OK, you're gonna need to explain that to me. Sword of dagon slaying? Swod of dragon slaying? What the fuck?

>> No.23083925

in my game i gave my players a ring of invisibility that turns the ring invisible.
and amulet of dragon detection that works on 3 meter radius
the had a laugh but it never went longer then that

>> No.23083930

Does it improve it's cutting ability?

Can you use the handle for shenanigans?

>> No.23083932

You fabulous, Disney bastard.

>> No.23083934

Cloak Of Dancing

Gives you insane bonus to dodge/hit/jump/etc. but you must dance every second you're wearing or even only touching it. You will lose some constitution for every hour you wear it. it's also addictive. And you will want other people to touch you while you are wearing it so they will be affected too.

>> No.23083935

Not OP. But yes.

>> No.23083936

Holy shit that is really exceptionally useful, yet not overpowered. I love it.

>> No.23083938

I'm playing a 2'9 foot kobold with 18 charisma

>> No.23083939

>wand of evil detection

using it causes evil to detect you

>> No.23083954



>> No.23083958


Just try to stay away from the Bards and you'll probably be fine.

>> No.23083959

Pen is Mightier

A pen that does the damage when swung of whatever weapon it describes, eg, "bastard sword." It can only be used for each weapon once, including ranged weapons.

>> No.23083965

>Paladin has huge dong
>Can't use it
>Sorcerer has huge dong
>Uses it to distract his foes
It's all coming together
But I am a bard

>> No.23083974

Can you put adjectives on it, like 'mythril glaive' or 'greataxe of flaming'? How does that work?

>> No.23083975

Horned Helmet of the Last Aria

When the wearer of the helmet sustains enough damage to kill them, they will burst into a swan song, accompanied by an invisible orchestra. The topic of the song can include stuff like regrets, not regretting, fear of death, messages to loved ones, descriptions of how darkness is overwhelming them, etc. This can go on for some minutes, as long as the player can keep on thinking new verses.

If the wearer is healed while still singing the aria, they do not die.

>> No.23083986

Communion Gate

The Communion Gate can only be opened by a group of people if they all touch it at once. Surprisingly the Gate does not seem to care how many people are actually there as long as they all try to open it at once, but it can sense missing members of a party out to a hundred meters.


>> No.23083987

Perfect counter for the Silence.

>> No.23083989


Get the wizard to make you a secondary genital heart so you don't pass out all the time?

This is going weird places fast.

>> No.23083990

>of whatever weapon it describes

What? Do the pen writes on itself?

>> No.23083994

james franco?

>> No.23083995

Marilyn Susan's Ring

while worn makes everyone else feel as though you have no flaws and treat you accordingly.

reduces INT by 1 for each day it is worn after the first.

>> No.23083999

why can't the paladin use it? there's nothing in the code about not having sex. they can even get pretty damn creative as long as they keep lay on hands ready

>> No.23084000

>> No.23084006


>> No.23084013


>> No.23084015


>> No.23084017

>High Necromancer's Robe
>Pockets stuffed with an unlimited quantity of weed

>> No.23084019

that wasn't funny, you suck, we want bender

>> No.23084022

Cursed Idol Of Commanding Words

If you touch it (even only once) from now on each session something you say will randomly happen (DM decision).

The players aren't told about the curse.

For example: Player 1 says to Player 2 "Fuck You asshole!" (IC).

When they wake up the next morning they are told by the DM that they awake in bed together...naked...and one of them is pretty sore...back there...

>> No.23084024

Unless you're a severe narcicist, you'll be fine.

>> No.23084026

Not sure actually.

It's from a comic on the Trojan War. Some kind anon did a storytime dump a while ago. That, specifically, is Castor, I believe.

>> No.23084035


>> No.23084042

That's so cruel.

You're a terrible person.

I'm stealing this right now.

>> No.23084045

>average penis length is now 9"


>> No.23084046


>> No.23084053

i was just remarking on the similarity

>> No.23084064

Binding Pins

A pair of slim silver needles. If two intelligent beings make a pact each holding one of the needles, the needle becomes incorporeal and can be inserted into the flesh.

If either party breaks the pact, the needle is activated, and causes extreme pain in the location where it was inserted for the oath-breaker.

>> No.23084066


>> No.23084069

Centaurs, obviously, have an obligatory +6 to CHA.

>> No.23084079

Deus Ex Machina

Looks like a large chest with a machine inside, can be easily identified, when properly used invokes a God.

God is of unknown origin and name and chastises users to get their shit together and solve their own problems and the chest dissapears.

>> No.23084080

Cursed Ring of Pumpkins

When worn, gives a small bonus to something or other.

Every now and then, the wearer will stumble upon a pumpkin (a vine, a small one, fresh one, rotten one, etc.) at an inconvenient moment.

Occasionally a pumpkin may fall on the PC from high.

The curse can be mitigated by wearing a pumpkin head mask.

>> No.23084089

Because everyone knows Paladins love laying on hands.

Ring of Unwanted Desire: Wearer becomes irresistibly attractive to the opposite sex, but also become completely asexual.

>> No.23084093


>> No.23084096

Ring of Eladrin Grace:

The character must recite a ten minute long prayer to Corellon - in perfect high elven - or he cannot eat.

>> No.23084105


>> No.23084106

>RPG Objects

Orb of Fast-Travel

Teleports the user to any location they have previously visited, as long as you have already paid for the supplies and method of travel needed to get there; travel is seemingly instantaneous, but takes the same amount of time and consumes the same basic purchased resources that would normally have been consumed during the trip. Occasionally fails, but only when something important (some mages argue the word should be "neccesary", but it's up for debate) will happen during the trip to the user or his traveling companions.

>> No.23084114


A surprisingly fitting reaction picture, anon.

>> No.23084124


>> No.23084128

Bag of Holding:

Will get you busted by the city watch....

>> No.23084145

Oh wow.

The Orb of Ascension:

Causes whoever holds it to fly straight up, only stopping when the character lets go of the Orb.

>> No.23084151

Elven boots of prancing:

-4 to stealth checks, but you look FABULOUS!

>> No.23084159


>> No.23084164

ring of keys

allows you to push your finger into any keyhole and unlock it by turning your wrist appropriately.

causes you tremendous pain when you do so, as while it allows your finger to assume the key shape, it stil snaps all the bones to do so (but fixes them again afterwards

>> No.23084172

Cowardly Wolf's Axe

X20 damage (magical, applies to any kind of creature, ignores any protection natural and magical)

Bonus only applies if the user is scared shitless aka failling a Will/5 saving throw.

>> No.23084176


>> No.23084183

A sentient magical set of spiked gauntlets +4:

Works perfectly, but screams "Prepare to get fisted!" before every battle.

The Teddy Owlbear:

Not cursed, but scares the hell out of your children.

A +6 Vorpal Sword ... With a +4 Vorpal Handle

>> No.23084184

Scroll of Argon

When read, the reader is compelled to continue to the end, all the while reciting the text out loud so that everyone around them can hear it, roll against a will stat or similar.

>> No.23084198

Kinda like the Grimoire in FF Tactics A2... I like it.

>> No.23084202

Signet Of Carron

This is a magical Tatoo that is painted with mixture of different animals blood and magical ingredients.

Wearer earns (whatever is PC equalivant of Terrorizing Gaze) however player must attack anything that fits a very loose definition of "Metal Box", including any metal armour, houseware, chests...

>> No.23084210

>The Teddy Owlbear
>Not cursed, but scares the hell out of your children.
I am so using that.

>> No.23084216

"WillX5" I mean.

>> No.23084219

Bardic Cymbals: Work Fine, but damn you look silly.

>> No.23084233

Circlet of eternal stupidity.
Once you wear it, you perceive any of your opinions as facts, and automaticly believe other people accept your opinions. Also makes you a sexual deviant(attraction to horses, giants, snakes, etc), causes you to start an argument of the stupidest shit, believing in things that don't exist, and being afraid of anything new.
It also grants 2+ exceptional bonus to str.

>> No.23084243

The Eye of Argon just didn't grip me as much as a lot of other infamously bad works of fiction.

>> No.23084252

Tramp Stamp Tattoo: +4 Charima, -10 Intelligence.

The Pole of Dancing: Allows female fighters "empowered" crits.

Thigh-High Boots of Elvenkind: Self-explanitory.

The Girdle of Giant-Smell

Hat of Dese-Guys: Character now talks in a brooklyn accent.

>> No.23084262

Cursed Boots Of Walking

These boots are made for walking. You can't run or jog, one of your feet must touch the ground all the time.

If haven't walked for at least twelve hours the day you want to take them off, you won't be able to walk for five years and have to run everywhere. Luckily you can just wear the Boots Of Walking whenever you need to walk and change to something when you need to run for five years while waiting for the curse to wear off.

>> No.23084298

Ring of Teleportation: Upon saying the magic words the ring teleports away.

Necklace of Protection: No AC bonus, but you won't get her pregnant.

Bastard Sword: Constantly talks behind your back, refuses to fight for you, steals your girlfriend, etc.

>> No.23084321

Bastard Sword: While under your ownership, cannot concieve a child while in wedlock.

>> No.23084323

What happens if you use Necklace of Protection while you make the Bastard Sword?

>> No.23084336


>> No.23084347

Spider's Silk Robe

A fine silk robe, about your size, of impeccable craftsmanship. Odd to find it in an abandoned cave like this. Too bad about those six extra holes on the side.

Huh, what's that skittering noise above me?

>> No.23084356

Copper Donkey Helmet Of Eating Shit

Cannot be removed. You can now eat anything. Metal bars. 7 trees. A cart&2horses. Anyfuckingthing. It takes time though.

You also now shit platinum poop.

A sect of seafaring White Avianfolks speaking a strange dialect (The Cult Of Donna LeDuc) is now after your poop. They will show up randomly and try to steal your shit. They are prone to fits of impotent anger and shouting.

>> No.23084357

You have sex, knowing she can't get pregnant, but she does anyway. When asked about it, she murmurs about faulty enchantments and asks why your bastard sword hasn't been talking to her any more.

>> No.23084364

The Sword of Furry:

Originally designed as a barbarians weapon, an unfortunate spelling mistake during the creation ritual now turns the wielder into an anthropomorphic catgirl.

>> No.23084369


>> No.23084370

Sword That Has Some Standards

Granted as a gift by an entity outside our time and space, sword kills anyone with a single succesful strike that are not given names by DM.

Upon striking a named NPC or PC the sword will score a hit, but will do little damage and any further attempts will cause the sword give a long, long speech about how its wrong to kill when you can negotiate and if sword is used another creative way to kill a named NPC or PC, the Outsider will take sword back.

>> No.23084380

Duck Tales?

>> No.23084391

Plot Armor: Impenetrable, of course

DMPC's Robes: Makes your character unkillable, which is unfortunate because everyone now wants to.

>> No.23084417

Spliff Mail: Whilst wearing this armour you've always got enough gear in your pockets to roll your own joint.

Belt of Gender Bender: Putting this on does not affect your own gender, but if you wave your arms just right then people near you are changed to the opposite gender.

Gem of Communication: this sapphire-coloured gem is used by placing it into an empty tooth socket. Once in place it allows instant telepathic communication with anyone else who has a Gem of Communication, within 100ft.

>> No.23084437


>> No.23084438

>sir, I think we figured out where gibbering mouthers came from.

>> No.23084470

>terrible candle

Damn thing just won't stay lit. smells kinda funny too.

>> No.23084494

There are nonanthropomorphic catgirls?

>> No.23084500

Plot Chain Mail

Protects from emotional damages that the plottings of your enemies may cause.

>> No.23084501

Sword Of Evil

Not that funny but unusual indeed.

Does double damage and gives a X2 bonus to hit. If you do not kill your opponent you lose half your hit point permanently. If you kill him/her/it he comes back as an undead creature working for you.

After the first undead creation you cannot use any other weapon (if you do it's /2 damage, /2 to hit).

The victims of the undead become undead too and works for you.

If you try to give them "good" commands (save people, not killing, etc.), one of your member will shrivell up and become blackened. Hands, feet, arms, legs, torso, stomach then head. You get a lower CHA, DEX and CON each time.

You are immortal and cannot be killed. If your body is destroyed, your mind goes into one of the undead.

If you are not acting completely evil after having the sword for a year a demon comes to the realm and destroys you, the undead you have and anyone in a 5 mile radius.

>> No.23084506

It also makes inappropriate and dirty jokes. Truly terrible
Cat ears alone make a catgirl

>> No.23084515

Wand of Fireballs: Upon aiming this wand at an enemy and speaking the magic words your testicles become unbearably hot.
Cynics Goggles: Causes you to question everything (What? How can Dragons have SIX limbs, and I really don't think magic has a basis in science, and ...)

>> No.23084518

That could be really REALLY useful in certain environments.

>> No.23084553

Goggles of Night: Lenses too dark to see through.

Ring of Hymen Regeneration

Periapt of Having to Google what the Hell a 'Periapt' is

Halfling Boots: Character can now only take short steps, land speed reduced by half

Helm of Opposite Alignment: Characters butt is now in the front

>> No.23084558

That might make a cool BBEG.

>> No.23084560

cynics goggle: when put on you suddenly see a group of 3-8 overweight neckbeards around a table playing boardgames, not fucking women and generally being massive wastes of human resources.

>> No.23084562

Now I'm wondering if there's magic armor that fills the same function. That looks like a fur bikini with a cat ear headband and tail included.

For research purposes only, of course.

>> No.23084599

Sword Of Reverse Marry Sue

Sword will improve itself wheneve its owner commits a good act and admits he does have some interest in it.

Sword explodes whenever its owner does a selfless good deed. Some of the shards will always go for the eyes of its owner.

>> No.23084609

>We found it in the Tower of Zoloft
That fucking made my day.

>> No.23084616

I'm pretty sure he meant Sword of Dagon Laying, having sex with the fertility god

>> No.23084619

An artifact me and my buddies made in gaming one time.
The Spoon of Painful Wealth.
A spoon created by Mammon, any one eating with this spoon takes 3d4 con damage over 8 hours, if the damage would kill the person, the effect stops until the amount of damage is healed. during this time the person will create precious metals and gems through crying and bleeding. it can produce enough material for 1000 platinum.
This will call upon the Inevitables because of the nature of the creation of the material.

although this seems bad, I made t less /d/-related than the original spoon. (how's pissing and shitting diamond and gold sound?)

>> No.23084638

Ring of Blinking: Character can now blink his eyes at will.

Ranger's Bow: Character must now give tours of the dungeon to NPC's, pointing out the highlights.

Headband of Perspiration ....

>> No.23084647

Oh, those are his guts. I thought it was just a big red buttscratcher

>> No.23084659

>Pissing Diamonds


>> No.23084732

>Ring of Blinking: Character can now blink his eyes at will.
What happens if you put it on a snake or fish?

>> No.23084753

good luck putting a ring on a fish

>> No.23084772

Ring of Fire Protection

Your body is now totally fire proof. Your clothes, armor, and gear are not.

>> No.23084790

Are you >>23083858 ? Because that's part of the story

>> No.23084799

Wand of Magic Mistletoe: Monster stops attacking, is compelled to kiss the nearest creature.

>> No.23084801

You put it on their fish fingers, duh.

>> No.23084817

Nope. I just use this with my players who abuse bardic knowledge for identifying stuff instead of the spell.

>> No.23084825


>> No.23084853

Moonbow: Turns character into Sailor Moon, no saving throw.

Potion of Heeling: Character must now walk right beside other characters, or is a bad dog.

Goggles of X-ray Vision: Simply Awesome for seeing thru dresses!

>> No.23084862

I did that to my players. They tend to use Unnatural Lust as a that guy Spell, so I added a wand of it in a treasure hoard from one of the adventure paths I was running. Except it is flawed - it inflicts Unnatural Lust spell, but on any target and the wand wielder only. And because it is a cursed wand, it jumps into the player's hand every time he gets into combat.

Be very careful when wandering around the dungeons of the rune Lord of Lust.

>> No.23084884

>Goggles of X-ray Vision: Simply Awesome for seeing thru dresses!

That's the description, somehow the power limiter broke and now you see only skeletons/metals/dense materials

>> No.23084896

Pendant of Posthumous Envy:
At first glance, it's just a normal metal pendant with a skull emblazoned on it. However, if the wearer of the pendant dies, their soul enters the pendant and uses it to animate whatever object it is put on. However, this means direct contact. If you had it on your helmet when you died, your helmet is animated with your soul, though the pendant can be removed with a bit of force and reapplied elsewhere. You are the same as always, except you are constantly jealous of the living.

When the pendant is loose, it's strangely attracted to the phylactery of any nearby lich.

>> No.23084945

And it slowly causes cancer ...

>> No.23084955

It go perfect with the "Gloves of baron Limier" enchanted with "bigby's Bad Touch"

Of course you have to sing the incantation to activate it.

"You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals so lets do it like they do on the discovery channel."

In Latin as usual

>> No.23084994

Potion of Giant Growth: Causes a giant growth on the characters back, character now goes around asking everyone if it looks infected ...

Wand of Cone of Cold: Free Ice Cream For Everone! Yay!

>> No.23084997

Wouldn't it be evil to not use the sword for evil on purpose and just wait out a year in a heavily populated area so everyone is killed by the demon, creating a paradox? Also is the 5 mile radius on you or the undead you have? If its both this sword could potentially be used to end the world.

>> No.23085012

...Are chastity belts standard equipment in your adventures?

>> No.23085018

this is actually reasonable and it is the way i treat this kind of spells with my players, so that they have to get new armor/clothes everynow and then so that they use all the gold from loots

>> No.23085029

Ring of Trapfinding: Can identify the actual sex of anyone, even if they're wearing a disguise

>> No.23085046

you slip it through the tail to the tail base

>> No.23085145


>+4 Judgemental skull
> Becomes incorporeal and follows you around reminding you how bad of a person you are.

>> No.23085167 [SPOILER] 

>> No.23085169

It took me a while, but here it is

>> No.23085183

Marbles of Power
>Glass marbles, which are magically enchanted to be particularly sparkly

Sold by a gnome who can't remember what they do.

>> No.23085190


I love this comic.

>> No.23085267

>Gem of Communication
I see what you did there.
I fucking see it.

>> No.23085303


>> No.23085372


>> No.23085395

>implying that doesn't help you find hidden dragons

>> No.23085449

Robots are very seldom made exlusively from metal.

>> No.23085537

played with a DM that had given all inanimate objects personalities: some were fickle, some not so much, but all either liked or disliked your character based on how well you treated them, the level of conversation you could hold with them, how well you touched them, some were downright perverted.

Ring of Lightness: would lower the weight of all your items, but if you ever stopped rubbing it, to fight off a beast or some such thing, it became weightless but made all your gear weigh more.

Greatsword of Truth: would alert you to the weaknesses of your foes, but if you didn't maintain a conversation with it at all times it would lie to you. also it had a tendency to escape your pack and find somebody 'better looking' than your character to hang out with.

Breatplate of Power: would either playful pinch your nipples, crush your rib cage, or a combination of the two depending on it's mood

backpacks would spew up items if they got drunk (filled with arcane tombs), forget where some items were if they were high (enchanted gems) and would abuse particular items if they were horny. my bottomless backpack particularly enjoyed molesting boots, something about a foot fetish, all my footwear hated me.
had another bag that kept eating my food.
it was a strange campaign.

>> No.23085547

Fun fact: Bluetooth was named after a Viking king or something who had blue teeth because of his diet. The Bluetooth logo is his initials in Futhark.

>> No.23085572

Cirklet of the student
grants +5 wisdom but with the drawback of taking away your critical thinking, you will now believe anything your party members tell you no matter how ridiculous

>> No.23085580

>get this
>take levels in paintester

>> No.23085753

I would use these gauntlets.

>> No.23085882


>> No.23085905

And I thought it was a stylized B.
You learn something every day.

>> No.23085935

>I'm selfschooled SO EDGY

>> No.23086039

>> No.23086271

That was the point of it, it was joke we made when we did the tomb of horrors that one of sick jokes the lich pulled.

>> No.23087084

Belt of support.

It keeps heavy pants up.

>> No.23087114

>reading to much into it
>getting mad at your own assumptions

>> No.23087272

The Green Clarinet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a86nmwHj8

>> No.23087560

Rock Bands

Wearer becomes deaf

>> No.23088030

How about the 'Codpiece of Victory'?

Chestplate of Wrack?

>> No.23088089


I wouldn't say counter, more "leads to hilarious encounters with"

>> No.23088095

It's sad considering that was a good conversational point for the state of public education.

>> No.23088201

The Ring of Answers: contains a nigh-omniscient spirit that will answer any question. The spirit is bound to do so in as unhelpful away as possible. We tried to get it to do something helpful, but it was mostly a joke item aside from that one time it outed the NPC "priestess" traveling with us by answering "how should we counteract this trap?" with "Buy Alexis some pants."

The Amazing Gloves: Clapping three times would make a trained, friendly and immortal elephant appear beneath the user. The Elephant wouldn't attack enemies, but our wizard liked flying up and clapping a few times at the start of a fight.

>> No.23088440

I guess you could say you're talking out of your ass.

>> No.23088870

Yes. It isn't human at all then. So it's a female feline.

>> No.23089282


>> No.23089631

A wizard did that, I'm sure.

>> No.23089819

everyday i'm shufflin'

>> No.23090839

But a dead body is by definition an inanimate object, so wouldn't the body of a man killed whilst wearing it immediately reanimate?

>> No.23091472

>Starts with Olgaf
>Not the dwarves

>> No.23091493


>> No.23091512


>> No.23091842

Hoodie Hood

A otherwise unremarkable leather hood, if you wear it you have a 50% chance of finding a safe refuge stocked with recreational supplies and food in every town.

The refuge is inhabited by 2d8 friendly CN NPCs with a darker-than-normal skin

Removing the hood cause the NPCs to become either unhelpful or hostile

Also, -5 INT -3 CHA +5 STR to the wearer and shitty rap music is costantly playing in the background

It was a lot of fun though

>> No.23091979

If it was on their skin, yes. If they wore it on their armor or clothing, that piece of armor/clothing would be reanimated.

>> No.23092274 [DELETED] 

like you wouldnt be fucking amped to hang out with gogol bordello all day

>> No.23092327

The Perplexigon

It's a key to a specific door, taking the shape of a tile of an unusual stone. No player character can perceive it's specific shape, just that it is polygonal and has a number of equilateral sides numbering between 3 and 10. Any attempts at discerning what shape it is will fail. It is used to unlock a series of doors with polygonal keyholes of specific shapes, and will fit perfectly into all such keyholes, but will not fit into openings of the exact same size and shape that are not keyholes meant for the Perplexigon.

>> No.23092471


I dunno, after the third Take a Shit Rondo and a full hour of The Ballad of Trying Like Crazy To Sleep (But Failing), I'd probably fucking kill someone.

>> No.23092502

Not particularly original, but in that nwn Infinite Dungeons module I found an Amulet of Darkvision.
It was an amulet that granted darkvision. And shed light.

>> No.23092509

Cursed Rings of Perpetual Cheetoh Fingers

>> No.23092673

Am I to understand that you have Penis Mightiers?

>> No.23092806

I don't exactly remember how this worked, because it was my first time playing a tabletop and my last time playing 4e, but I ended the session with a Paladin who could lay on hands 3 times. We used to joke that there was one for each boob and a third for the genitals. Had a joke about where the third hand game from. Led to my paladin laying his dick on people when he used his third lay on hands

>> No.23093466

>implying any player cares if their character feels pain

>> No.23097278

I'm playing in a shitty "1st Edtion" game (I put it quotes because its really free-form based around parts of 1st Edition Shitty DM likes. We have discovered one magic item so far - a wand that spews out butterflies non-stop, which we had to abandon before we drowned in butterflies, and were given an item from a DMNPC (of which we have run into 3 in two weeks) that gave us a never empty teapot.

>> No.23098150

They may take penalties to awareness or something while in pain, it would be really easy to make pain a crippling factor in campaigns.

>> No.23098289

For years a running gag was the Fork of Deliciousness. It would literally make everything it touches Delicious. At one point one of the characters ate shit with it to survive in the desert. He never lived it down.

>> No.23103253

A British version would be for chavs.

>> No.23107208

But health issues!

>> No.23107402

So, is your GM a pretentious teenager or something?

I refuse to believe anyone who was around since 1st ed would give their players such ridiculously overpowered items.

>> No.23107744

You'd use those?
I'd be too afraid of running into a very disgruntled melee only character that gives the stink eye and says
>Throw one more god damn butterfly

>> No.23107795

how bout you just stab him with a wooden spear?

>> No.23107865


Agreed. Two items that instantaneously -- and without any sort of additional effort -- break thermodynamics over their metaphorical knees. Even the tiniest nudge from the characters make them even more broken. The phrase "Polymorph Butterflies to Shadows" springs to mind.

>> No.23107892

>ring is made out of metal

>> No.23108084

Good lord that would drag on the ground

>> No.23108611

This anon gets it:

Giving the players something so ridiculously broken is a recipe for disaster.

>> No.23108714

Just use DM prep time to shove it up their asses when they try to use it.

>> No.23109215

Ring of Slipperiness

Removes the effects of friction on your skin, meaning you will probably fall down a lot without boots and can't hold a weapon without gloves.

Particularly nasty variations will also apply to your clothing and equipment.

Gun of Zack

Said to have been used by the legendary adventurer/shadowrunner (adjust to setting) of the same name, this gun is inaccurate when fired, and has a 25% chance of jamming on every shot. However, it has massive bonuses to accuracy and damage when THROWN at enemies, and has a chance of an automatic knockout on hit.

Reverse Sword and Reverse Shield.

On their own, these items act as, respectively, a mundane longsword and a mundane roundshield. When both are wielded at once, a shield bash with the shield has the accuracy and power of a +3 longsword attack, although it deals bashing damage instead of slashing, and the sword, when used for parrying, grants the defensive bonuses of a +3 roundshield (even against ranged projectiles)

>> No.23109244

A lump of (un)lucky Pyrite.

If you have it, you're more likely to come across gold, silver, gems and all other kinds of precious things. Any adventurer that possesses such a stone will quickly become much richer than their peers.

However, the catch is that you become awful at keeping track of your money. You could have your money pouch on the middle of a blank table, sweep your gaze over it a dozen times, and STILL miss it.

You could be asking your party where you put your coins, because fucking seriously I put it down SOMEWHERE and now I can't bloody find it, while you have it IN YOUR HAND the entire time.

>> No.23109456

The Sword was made to Slay Dagon, a demon Prince, but the enchantment is focused on the inscription on the blade. So, when it was made to say "dragon laying"... Well, you sohould get it from there.

>> No.23109907

Bag of hafling housing complex:
This bag houses numerous rooms all of which are inhabited by haflings that act like they're from Little Italy.

>> No.23110110


>> No.23110212

So, does someone start a new thread for every oglaf strip?

>> No.23112007

Just his face

I'm gonna need a youtube link or something

>> No.23112363

I read that as "Last Asia". I had to reread your post three times, trying to figure out what the hell you were talking about.

>> No.23112487

So it turns you into a Republican?

>> No.23112600 [DELETED] 

I think you're looking for these guys:

>> No.23112659 [DELETED] 

I think you're looking for these guys:

>> No.23112788


>> No.23112805

Your DM sounds awesome

>> No.23112900

I believe your looking for these guys:

>> No.23114193

More or less. This'un's a bit late.

What can we say, it is funny and usually /tg/ relevant.

Anyway, an hourglass that counts down until the next time you flip it.

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