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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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[ERROR] No.22991483 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]


Ye gods, he has arrived.

>> No.22991508

Oh lordy.

>> No.22991849

Everyone in /mlp/ has tried too.

>> No.22992682

We've had a few threads here where fa/tg/uys admitted to fucking horses before. Although I don't believe their objective was to make a centaur.

>> No.22996255

is this a full on story/comic or something? I see it every now and then and am interested

>> No.22996320


It's recurring character that the artist draws.

It's your stereotypical bard.

I always felt sorry for the elf girl.

>> No.22998802


Why? There's no indication she's his girlfriend, she's just a prudish bitch who flips out over someone else having sex.

>> No.22998966

She wants to fuck

>> No.22999068

She should come out and say it.

>> No.22999193

>> No.22999577

Anyone feel like posting the rest?

>> No.22999687

He thinks she's a guy.

>> No.22999798

And that is the major crux of the problem. He will fuck any girl he meets, except her because he doesn't even know she's a girl.

>> No.22999861

>that image is my fetish

>> No.23000747

it is to most of /tg/

>> No.23000795


>> No.23000821

She is too tsundere for it

>> No.23000864

Not really, Tsundere would be denying she likes him
She gets enraged that she's fucking other females
That's plain old jealousy mixed with a little shyness(the one time she thinks he wants to fuck her, see pic), not Tsundere

>> No.23000878

He's fucking other females*
God damn my typos today

>> No.23000880

How does he not know? She looks incredibly girly, even more so than a normal elf.

>> No.23000892

There is one comic where he find out, I lack it.
He is incredibly shocked

>> No.23000925

>Scorpion and Centaur flirting in the corner
Best part of this image.

>> No.23000930

Sooo, can I get a link to all of them, maybe?

>> No.23000943

We're not hopeless, but we're damn close.

>> No.23000950

>"throw her a bone"

>> No.23000965

He is not a clever guy

>> No.23000974

>She looks incredibly girly
As do all elf men.

>> No.23000977


I shudder to think of all the cross-species STD's that bard must have.

>> No.23000978

I don't know, i only like the scorpion girl and even then that giant venomous tail would be quite the boner killer.

>> No.23000991

Cure Disease is a simple spell, he's saved Kingdoms from dragons, he has the money to pay for it

>> No.23000993

She also seems to be lesbians for the centaur, which is a nice touch.

And now I just imagining a scorpion girl and a centaur scissoring. I'm gonna need some brain bleach.

>> No.23000997

most of the images have the guy's elfwood account on them.

>> No.23000998

he obviously put all of his points on charisma

the danger of the enterprise is one of the best things about monster girls.

>> No.23001000

I'm sorry, is horsefucking news now? I must have missed the memo.

>> No.23001009

This, he probably got flirty with an elf man once and then got too scared to flirt with another elf for the fear of dick.

>> No.23001016

Here's the artist gallery where he's posted them:

>> No.23001020

It seems to me more that they are making light of their kids fighting than them flirting

>> No.23001050

Immanent despair.

>> No.23001055

>stroking their hair
>the way the centaur is caressing the scorpion girls tail
>the abashed expression on the centaur
Nah, they're totally in lesbians with each other.

>> No.23001056

I dunno, looks to me like they're getting along pretty well.

>> No.23001080 [DELETED] 

Yes actually. http://whofortedblog.com/2013/02/0man-attempts-create-centaur-fashied-he-sex-horse/

>> No.23001082


>> No.23001097

Behold, how he saved he Kingdom from a dragon

>> No.23001113

Where can I find these bard comics anyway?

>> No.23001123

Behold! The birth of an Elemental!

>> No.23001130

cant blame him though

>> No.23001131


That would be a good one him flirting with a elf guy with the party elf standing right beside him.

>> No.23001160

>that filename
Dont listen to the loliclops! Its a trap!

>> No.23001168


>> No.23001170

Damn glad that's not my fetish.

>> No.23001187


>> No.23001191


What sorcery is this?

>> No.23001202

I've been here for the better part of four years. If it ain't my fetish now, it won't be.

>> No.23001205

Its like that recent thread about watching your lamia daughteru grow up into a singer that all started with this picture.

>> No.23001207

dick sorcery. bards are the only practitioners, it's forbidden to wizards

>> No.23001217

bard sorcery

>> No.23001218

it will be

>> No.23001237

IIRC, the bard's backstory is that some god created god-Viagra and tested it on a mortal (him).

That's what sorcery it is.

>> No.23001240


You mean like this?

>> No.23001242

Animate Objects
6th level spell, on the bard's list.

>> No.23001246

You read

>> No.23001255

And ended up with this.

>> No.23001257


It's not gay if it's an elf.

>> No.23001273


>> No.23001296

And this.

>> No.23001317


>> No.23001321

No, it's more that he actually mentioned hoping the horse would spawn a centaur.

>> No.23001333

...I just got an Idea you know pic related?

>> No.23001340

And some catgirl.

>> No.23001342

you can never know if its a trap or not until you "spring" it.

>> No.23001352

Wow. That's some fabulous boobage.

>> No.23001355

You could quite literally get lost in it.

>> No.23001364

sadly i dont have more Yasuna pics

>> No.23001375

What is derishyas?

>> No.23001377

What a shame.

>> No.23001388

Did some one said, BOOBAGE?

>> No.23001392


>> No.23001404

"I ain't goona lie; I blew a nut in the horse".

I died.

>> No.23001409

>Played several bards in games
>Never once had IC sex, flirted, kiss, etc...

Apparently, I was doing it very wrong.

>> No.23001415

That is adorable

>> No.23001421


>> No.23001424


Cyclops women?
Cyclops Women.

>> No.23001430


>> No.23001439

This one is a bit gross for some, but I think the idea of a man playfully peeling the face scales off of his shedding lamia waifu to be kinda cute.

>> No.23001440

Yes you are.
I played a manwhore Bard once
It ended getting me out of a fight with a Hydra.
Flirted with a mermaid in a huge ass lake we found, she pulled me behind the waterfall.
Hydra pops out of the water and fights the party

>> No.23001456

I prefer the idea of helping to scrub it off in a warm bath.

>> No.23001461

i can get behind that

>> No.23001466

Knew i saved this pic for a reason.

>> No.23001469

No doubt it would lead to that, but you gotta have some casual teasing, too.

>> No.23001477

Did someone ask for an image dump of the bard?!

>> No.23001505

>> No.23001528

If you can befriend a major demon that can kill dragons, seems like that's the wisest idea.

>> No.23001535

>> No.23001543

>> No.23001565

>> No.23001568

got a biggah resolution?

>> No.23001573

>> No.23001581

Rolled 19


Goddamnit, fine. Rolling.

>> No.23001587


>> No.23001591

Can you play a Rogue like a bard?

>> No.23001593

unfortunately, no. So here a halloween one in the same spirit

>> No.23001598

looks like a new fetish

>> No.23001608

Yes, but it's not as cool

>> No.23001625

is your charisma high enough?

>> No.23001627

unfortunately, no. So heres something else to make up for it

>> No.23001630

>dat Mountain troll

>> No.23001646

I find rogues tend to lean more towards serial rapists whereas bards are more conducive of manwhores.

>> No.23001661

My work here is done.

>> No.23001664

thanks mate.

>> No.23001674

No problem my friend

>> No.23001680

>That manga

Zombie girl my favorie now

>> No.23001685

>Aphrodite getting pissy at Zeus for being a cheating manwhore
Fucking hypocrite. She aint even married to him.

>> No.23001696

she has the worst name though

>> No.23001707

And she cheats on her husband all the damn time
For fuck's sake the reason she married him was because
A)He could make beautiful shit she wanted
B)He wasn't bright
C)He worked a lot so she had a lot of time to go out and fuck

>> No.23001713

sadly...still like her tough, Ill name her Rea for the reference!

>> No.23001718

Also, he was the nicest god, and Zeus forced her.

>> No.23001736

I have 16 charisma and a hell of a lot of skill points.

>> No.23001747

The Greek gods were all horrible people, really. Yahweh looks like a saint (heh) in comparison.

>> No.23001748

greek NTR

>> No.23001750

>Google returns nothing


>> No.23001756

Aphrodite is a huge bitch. News at 11.

>> No.23001761

And a low Fort save. Gehehehe

>> No.23001780




>> No.23001784

>take no damage during sex
That sounds abusable

>> No.23001794

Not really. The only improvement Yahweh had is that he was just sadistic, not hedonistic.

>> No.23001798


all the chapters here

>> No.23001815

It was errata'd to taking no damage from your partner(s), so you can't just shove a faerie down your pants and be damage immune anymore.

>> No.23001821


A 15ft tall bishonen Pugilist Cyclops wishes to join your party.


>> No.23001830


Well she did bring that one guys statue to life for him

>> No.23001833

I multi- classed into Fighter. My fort is a solid four.

>> No.23001842


>> No.23001852

Yahweh put the fear of God into the jews. Jesus came, and made Judaism friendly, with the threat that Yahweh has outsourced his shitslapping to the Devil.

>> No.23001868

The wolf and maybe the horse.

>> No.23001884


whats the worst that could happen?

>> No.23001894

Fort, Will, s'all the same to me.

>> No.23001919

What ever... I can be the best Non-Bard there is!

>> No.23001985

What kind of moron wants to be a fucking bard when they can be a rogue?

>> No.23002019

There ya go.

>> No.23002025

Someone who likes being useful in combat?

>> No.23002027

Rogues tend to be that kind of shady guy you see at the end of the bar while a bard is more approachable.

Bard's can just turn on the swag and make the women come to them, while rogues actively have to seek out women. They're two sides of the "seductive badass" coin, but honestly being a bard comes with the benefit of MAGIC.

>> No.23002056

>Not useful in combat situations

>> No.23002123

>see at the end of the bar
>Not sleeping underneath the bar stealing ale.

>> No.23002137

Have clearly never played a Martial Rogue.

>> No.23002139

>Being that fucking cheap

>> No.23002150

Don't get me wrong, there are good ways to build a bard, but Bards can get full casting with employment of shenanigans.

>> No.23002171

>not following a goddess that requires you to steal all your possessions

>> No.23002183

>Not being that fucking cheap

>> No.23002184

I've never played a rogue since there's always that one faggot who wants to play the rogue no matter the group.

I prefer paladins, anyway.

>> No.23002190

>Following a god

>> No.23002199

Whats wrong with rogues

>> No.23002203

It is time to put aside your foolish fears, and embrace the adventurer your adventurer could be,

>> No.23002232

You can't be that edgy, can you?
Sneaky bastards with no cool magic.

>> No.23002245

I always multiclass.

>> No.23002255

It attracts the same kind of people Drow do.

>> No.23002259


>> No.23002275

Why is it that everyone that does this is edgy as fuck. I just don't want to be ruled by some unseen force.

>> No.23002291

Why is he such an irresponsible father? Surely there is some alchemical or magical contraceptive he could be using.

>> No.23002294

My idea of adventure is being so awesome that I can steal a girls panties, while she's wearing them.

>> No.23002302

>martial class
Yeah, methinks no one with the intelligence required to operate a computer takes any martial all the way to 20.

>> No.23002332

That man was not a rogue.

>> No.23002336

after being force fed super viagra by a goddess? I think not!

>> No.23002343

Had a rogue in my party that managed to con a woman out of all her clothes and ran off. Amazingly, nobody noticed it until five minutes later when the woman started screaming her head off at the realization she was in the middle of the street, completely naked.

>> No.23002353

Rogues should not be edgy and brooding. They should be a nice balance of cynicism and smartassy along with some dark humor
>pic pretty much sums it up

>> No.23002371

Man, if we weren't allowed to play things that dumb people sometimes play, we wouldn't ever not probably be able to play things we play now or did so previously without making sure none of the past statements I just made are not true.

>> No.23002378

Look at your girl.
Now back to me.
Now look at your girl.
Now back to me.

I'm fucking your girl, while you're holding her panties. However, if you were a bard, we could eiffel tower this bitch.

>> No.23002383

> I ain’t going to lie, I blew a nut in the horse.

>> No.23002386

UA variant of a rogue gets the bonus feats of a fighter instead of sneak attack, these feats happen to stack with bonus feats from actual fighter levels.

>> No.23002398

I'm not saying I hate rogues, I was just telling you why people have a kneejerk reaction to them. Rogues tend to be broody, edgy little cunts.

>> No.23002443

I'm aware of the hijinx available to a martial rogue, but that still means you're multi-classing in order to take advantage of the overlap.

>> No.23002454

I would make it my life's mission to be the best father ever to this child.

>> No.23002462

If it wasn't for his magic use Constantine would be a good example of a rogue.

>> No.23002471

That's because no one wants to play the happy rogue that does what he does because it's fun.

>> No.23002498

Help yourself.

I did that shit. Died in the second encounter, but in the meantime had me some fun-ass fun.

>> No.23002507

Other then the for fun part you just described my groups rogue.

>> No.23002511

How to play a rogue the fun way also every rogue should come reequipped with pocket sand.

On a side not I have this funny idea of a rogue teaming up with a dragon to scam money out of people like in dragonheart 1. The rogue would use the the dragon's hoard has sort of bank and hideout while the dragon enjoys more gold and scamming nobles, and maybe tsun tsun for the rogue/

>> No.23002524

Plenty of people due, but as a regular player of the lawful good, my PCs tend to get at odds with them.

Paladins make the best straight men to rogues. Without the straight man, a funny man is worth half as much.

>> No.23002531

I could go just UA Rogue and get normal feats, but having a killer archer that has no business running around with nine feats specifically for shooting people from really far away is just too tempting. That, or quickrazors. Best thing gnomes ever made.

>> No.23002547

Can't play a gentleman thief? A bored noble? Circus performer? Or even... gasp! The charming rogue?

You know what a bard is? That douche who brings an accoustic guitar to a party and knows two chords.

>> No.23002553

I've never seen someone play a broody rogue, oddly enough, thought granted I've only encountered two.

One was a Tengu trying to get a newspaper going and used their abilities to gather interesting info, and the other was a Chaotic Evil Kender that worked to genocide his own race because he hated the shit out of his own people.

>> No.23002557

ouch, but you had fun.
then he's not doing it right.
Too True.

>> No.23002576


>class that heals and enhances party members and produces the finest music around


>> No.23002578

I never have, nor ever will play a bard for that reason.

>> No.23002584

The artist has his own webcomic I believe, well the style is familiar.


>> No.23002587

And how exactly does one do it right.

>> No.23002598

I don't think you were playing a bard. You were probably playing a sorcerer with ranks in preform or something.

>> No.23002607

Naw dude, that's a rogue leaning on his bluff skill. The Bard is the guy who knows how to play about five instruments, and doesn't get why other people don't as well.

>> No.23002620

Oh wow you buff people? That totally makes up for being the guitar douche.

>> No.23002634

Be sure not to step on her in her younger years.

>> No.23002652

You're still taking what's going to be of similar effectiveness to a fighter all the way to 20. I'm not saying you can't do that, but it sounds terribly boring. At least with the overlap you spoke of, you have enough feats to carve your own class features out of an otherwise drab package.

>> No.23002653

Have fun.
And steal the impossible.

>> No.23002662

You sing, you kick an insane amount of ass (if, say, a dragonfire bard or a 4e twinstrike bard), you do everything (except generally bards don't use instruments), and you do it with style.

>> No.23002671

How do you guy's play your rogues

>> No.23002672

Gray Mouser is a good example and I'm sure the majority of /tg/ should be familiar with Lieber's duo and Jack Sparrow is pretty much what happens when a rogue puts all his points into luck.

>> No.23002688

That was sarcasm. I knew I should have posted the picture.

>> No.23002692

Very True. And god I love the quickrazor!

>> No.23002744

Isn't using charm magic to get into strange monstergirls' pants rape?

>> No.23002785

Are we seriously having a "which is better" argument regarding Bards and Rogues?

Let me break it down. Rogues do if from behind, Bards do it from the front, and the Wizard casts Fly to get access to the face.

It's called Party Synergy.

>> No.23002786

A unherioic pragmatic bastard who's convinced that he's going to die doing something in the name of the greater good. As such he's made it his mission in life to steal everything he takes a fancy to and curse like a sailor without failure.

>> No.23002798

Being supernaturally charming is hardly rape. Even Charm Person isn't rape, as it doesn't make them do anything they would adamantly not do.

>> No.23002829

He's full of "love potion" which here means Viagra. He's just very willing to risk his life in the persuit of nookie.

>> No.23002840


Dare not tread such a path, /tg/, for it leads off the topic of this hallowed board.

>> No.23002841

So it's kind of like a lot of alcohol?

>> No.23002845

>Talking about starting a new 3.5E campaign with friends
>Roll up characters using a generator
>Half Orc, high str, dex, int
>Like 6 points in charisma, minus another 2 for being a half orc
>"What the fuck is that, why would you want to play something like that"
"Nah, what if like, his low charisma made it hard for him to make friends. So he spends his time reading books on his own instead."
>Discussion goes on, talking about how he read books about brave adventurers, and daring rogues who stole from the rich and gave to the poor.
I am now in charge of Krög, the most tragic half-orc rogue. What do?

>> No.23002853

Hell, that was the ideal end game for my Kobold Rogue, except he was going to use his adventuring earnings to fund a fake dungon crawl to take the spoiled children of rich ex-adventurers through...

...You can only loose so many to their own stupidity before you need to rig the game...

>> No.23002861

A lot of alcohol is rape.

>> No.23002869

...that is a god tier rogue.
and that's why it's an awesome spell.

>> No.23002897

Polymorph into a sexy (possibly female) elf?

>> No.23002903

Nope. Alcohol impairs your faculties. Charm doesn't. It does, however, depend on your natural Charisma to work.

>> No.23002904

Hey, let's not go on this line of thought.

A good Bard wouldn't use Charm Person in the first place. You use skill, not magic, unless it's to enhance your own performance.

Mind affecting spells are murky.

>> No.23002906

Kind of just your judgement isn't impaired.

>> No.23002907

Two rogues who passed their bluff check on entire society passing through.

>> No.23002925


Fight the power.

>> No.23002949

Cross-class into Artificer and become Tony Stark/Batman?

>theirlog present
If you say so Captcha...

>> No.23002988

>Not a no fucks given people really act like this cynic who can't buy heroic adventures anymore.

>> No.23003171

>Half-orc Batman
Fuck yeah

>> No.23003262


>> No.23003417

>Not bright
Dude was a genius who invented robots to help him around the forge! He was a cripple, though.

>> No.23003486

He doesn't sound like that bad of a GM if he allowed him to do all that.

>> No.23003676 [DELETED] 

>Not bright
Dude was a genius who invented robots to help him around the forge! He was a cripple, though.

>> No.23003987

is Goku getting head from an army of Lisa Simpson clones?

>> No.23004194


so do they have sex after that?

>> No.23004264

Nah, that sort of thing leads to a long term relationship and a good bard knows not to shit where he sleeps.

>> No.23004289

Otherwise, a little shit elemental is born.

>> No.23004317

Maggie, actually. His tiny Japanese dick looks like her pacifier.

>> No.23004338

Surprisingly no.
Honestly I'd totally read a web comic about this guy's dick shenanigans but it seems all that was posted is all there is.

>> No.23004374

Bitches & horse

>> No.23004383

I'm pretty sure, at a minimum, bards are gonna be quite willing to use Bardic Music->Fascination->Suggestion. Its not a spell, its them being supernaturally skilled.

>> No.23004557

Depending on the description of the abilities, that's fine. It's just a bit weird to have anything involving a will save involved in a sexual proposition.

>> No.23004634

Will save: sex drive and Bard's suave vs knowing he will disappear, may not get you off, and chance of pregnancy/std.

>> No.23004652

Remember that its not Charm Person, failed will->sex. Its Charm Person, failed will save, and THEN opposed charisma check to see if they will do something out of the ordinary.

>> No.23004719

To be fair, I'd rather stat them as bards.

>> No.23004747

Because they can sing?

>> No.23004763

Because they suck at stealing things.

>> No.23004803

I'd rather stat them in a classless system.

>> No.23004832

Ms. Smith is best monstergirl.

>> No.23004872

Put your trip back on Fire Lord Azula and then get out.

>> No.23004884

Not in the physical sense mind you.

>> No.23004996

... Good Point.

>> No.23005269

Mountain Troll... for days.

>> No.23006079

I liked this too much not to.

>> No.23006135

I always enjoy a good bard thread.


>> No.23006323


your not the only one friend.

>>and just think, if we were bards we could eiffle tower that bitch

>> No.23006345

Or we hire a sherpa and do her like the himalayas

>> No.23006548

>You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals....

>> No.23006562


>> No.23006590

Cheech & Chong.

>> No.23006605

>I do know the difference between the truth and a lie.
I like how they made him specify this. Probably wanted it on the record so he couldn't say "obviously that was a joke, sex with a horse doesn't make a horse man" later.

>> No.23006634

In 5e that's the best way to play a rogue.

>> No.23006692

You mean, it's not gay if you beat them afterwards...

>> No.23007892

>what he should have said

>> No.23008645

By being dashing, and daring. Courageous and caring. Faithful and friendly, with stories to share.

>> No.23008657

That's called a ranger.

>> No.23008679

But he was also the darkest (complected) of the Greek gods.

>> No.23008712

Rangers fuck bears.

Rogues fuck bitches.

Bards fuck everything.

>> No.23008757


I thought rangers fucked trees?

>> No.23008773

Druids fuck trees.

Barbarians give no fucks.

>> No.23008861


What's his INT, 4?

>> No.23008896

>Outsourcing punishment
This is way funnier than it has any right to be.

>> No.23008933

I don't see a single monster there I wouldn't sex.

A-am I Bard material? Should I begin training?

>> No.23008942

this thread

>> No.23008953

Go on...

>> No.23008973


>> No.23009072

I'll just leave this here:

>> No.23009079


Thought druids fucked their animal companions.

>> No.23009083

If you want to be Iron Man, look into Pathfinder's psionics.
Aegis/Soulblade(Soulbolt archetype)+Metaforge to recover most of the power lost from multiclassing.
You're now a weak normal person with a suit of power armor that turns you into a beast.

Alternately, Megaman.

>> No.23009086

Goddammit /tg/

>> No.23009107

>Pathfinder's psionics.

Wait what when did this happen?

>> No.23009122

>Warforged Bard

>> No.23009137

>implying that isn't Mega
>implying Proto isn't a Warforged Ranger

>> No.23009148


>> No.23009156

well, that depends. Would you have sex with a zombie?

I would, but then again, I am a Necrophile

>> No.23009163

Because exotica is awesome?

>> No.23009195

Got the wrong image there, buddy.

>> No.23009207

So you just roll to grapple and fuck whatever you're fighting.

>> No.23009285


It's third party, but well-made enough to be usable. The only GMs who are against it are ones who still remember broken psionics from earlier editions and have a knee-jerk hate of them.
That whole section is still being given new content from the recent books.
I am dying to play an Aegis(Aberrant) loli who is like pic related in her monster form.

Mah nigga.

>> No.23009300

Yes. This is my fetish like you would not believe.

>> No.23009357

Oh god, I've looked for that Doujin for a long time. You don't happen to have a link or something?

Also, there is no better feeling than fucking a Dead Woman. Trust me, I know.

>> No.23009443

Well, to you maybe.

>> No.23009465

Just when I think /tg/ has run out of suprises......

>> No.23009482

aw, c'mon man.


>> No.23009492


It's apparently ridiculously common in the morgue/mortuary business. If you meet someone that works extensively with dead bodies in privacy, chances are they're a necrophiliac... supposedly.

>> No.23009496

No idea on the doujin, sorry. If you find it, do let me know.

My interest ends at a consenting consciousness. See: >>23008973

I'm a classy gent, and not interested in something like that.

I also kind of want the story behind that statement, but I also really don't.
Tell me before I lose my nerve.

>> No.23009507

Oh, pardon for any misunderstandings here. I'm not the guy with the doujin.

>> No.23009510

oh, c'mon. at least I'm not Fucking animals. Only dead women.

>> No.23009520

I'm starting to feel really bad for my dead grandparent.

>> No.23009532

I enbalm by attaching the needle to my dick and inserting it.

>> No.23009534

Here's the zombie fucking manga.


All it took was seaching for a manga with zombie as the key word and then looking at the 6 thumbnails that popped up.

It's only 4 pages, but far as I know that's the whole thing.

>> No.23009537


Why is Tsundere the go-to trope for women on /tg/?

>> No.23009547


Fuck, it's in the wrong language. You've still got a name to work with. Forgive me for being a tard.

>> No.23009549

You're a bro.
Saved like the first of the north star.
She passes the Harkness test, so this is my fetish.

>> No.23009560


Well let's just hope that necrophiles don't get turned on for ANY dead body just like heterosexuals don't get turned on for just any member of the opposite sex.

I mean, that's probably how that works. Right?

>> No.23009570



That one should be English.

>> No.23009571


It's ridiculously easy to portray a tsundere personality by using the most shallow version of the character archetype.

>> No.23009589

awesome artist. weird and hilarious always.

>> No.23009596

ah, apologies.
well, indeed I will tell you, good sir. but in Greentext;
>be 19
>get hired as a night watchmen in the citys Morgue.
>It's a small city, so no surveilence, other then me.
>second week on the job
>go into the morgue
>there's a dead woman there
>she was white, with long blonde hair. pale as all hell.
>I got a stiffy ( pardon the pun)
>gave her a kiss and startled to caress her breasts and pussy
>Get hornier and Stick my dick in her
>fuck her roughly for about 20 minutes
>cum inside her

Thank god there was no bruising, or I might've been found out. But that was three years ago. I still work there. I still fuck corpses

an that's my story.

>> No.23009611


>Worked in small funeral home to pay off debts to get the fuck out of a small town break down

I don't think you understand how a dead body feels, and how utterly unarousing a corpse is as a sensory experience. The penalties for necrophilia in the community are severe, and anecdotal evidence =/= statistical fact.

Now bringing home a bunch of body parts set for disposal and scaring the shit out of a landlord is another story.

>> No.23009614

thank you anon, you are the best.

>> No.23009624

Well, for what it's worth, my interest in the undead is more an aesthetic thing anyway. There's a certain elegance to a creature not shackled to life as an institution. Immortality has allure.
I've got a thing for transhumanistic evolution (aesthetically, obviously) for the same reason.

Don't... don't you worry about the moral implications? ...he asks, already knowing the answer.

Is... is that a thing you've done?

>> No.23009626


Uh-huh. Too bad that most of the anecdotal evidence comes from practicing necrophiles like >>23009596

>> No.23009657


That's like asking a dog fucker if fucking dogs is a good idea, and expecting a rational and unbiased answer.

>> No.23009684

Well, At first I was devastated. I mean, I fucked a dead 14 year old, of course I would be morally destroyed. but after some heavy thinking, I said to myself that; "hey, life's to short to not enjoy it. Besides, they're dead, so as long as I hide it and ( somewhat ) respect the corpse, It should be fine."

Been as happy as a clam ever since.

>> No.23009694


It's not whether it's a good idea, it's whether it's common. Guess what, it is.

>> No.23009719


Are you suggesting practicing necrophiles are a common thing?

>> No.23009726

>respect the corpse, It should be fine.

Fucking a dead 14-year old in a morgue is probably the least respectful thing you could do.

>> No.23009735


>Believing this

It's alright. Most /lit/ majors read the story. It doesn't make it true. Plenty of weird in the funerary industry, but if you think that you're getting sweet corpse pussy in your work there you will be sorely disappointed.

We had an applicant who had such leanings, the obvious signs. The owner, having seen one in his time, hired the guy and prepared the next few corpses. A dick full of needles bleeding over a corpse is a tough thing to explain.

>> No.23009776

Most offensive thing about it: "I ain’t going to lie"

>> No.23009803



>> No.23009817

>Plenty of weird in the funerary industry, but if you think that you're getting

So, wait, just because I believe something happens means I want to partake?

Sir I find your logic highly questionable and your intelligence suspect.

>> No.23009892

I know it's disrespectful. Hell, I've tried quitting more then once, but I just seem to return to the corpses. The only other women that get's me all hot and bothered, are Amputees and Midgets. and trust me, it ain't easy to find either one.

I intend to stop sometime in the future. But when? I don't know.

>> No.23010031

How long have you been fucking corpses?

>> No.23010070

since I was 19, so three years now.

>> No.23010096

>14 year old
I... what?
Please tell me you're just messing with me here. I can't deal.

Preparing a corpse-vagina full of needles is even more fucked up than just fucking a corpse, somehow. That's really twisted and disrespectful.

Fuck, remind me to never die, ever.

>> No.23010126

or be cremated

>> No.23010140

no, I'm not messing with you.

We have gotten in some younger girls, between 8 - 13, but I..I just can't bring myself to do anything to them. I may be a pervert, but I'm not a monster, I guess.

>> No.23010161

The same people cremate bodies.
I'd end up being given an asshole full of needles, a mouth full of semen, and THEN I'd get set on fire?
That sounds like the worst ending EVER!

You fucked the corpse of a 14 year old girl. You're prettymuch a monster.

I mean, jeez, I though I was a horrible person for being a severe lolicon with a wandering eye, but you've actually done it in the worst way possible.

>> No.23010181

14 is legal in my country.

>> No.23010194

>in my country
And what country is that...?

>> No.23010208

Oh shit, then that makes it totally okay to desecrate the corpse. Carry on.

>> No.23010216


>> No.23010237

I never said that it makes it okay, I just said the age of consent.

I know it's wrong, I really do. I've tried stopping, but...you know.."Those who are dead, they give the best head"

>> No.23010415

Oh geez man I gotta say I'd expect a higher moral standard from a Swede than that shit.

Guess everyone else is making up for you, huh?

>> No.23010462

>Higher moral Standard
>From a Swede

may I ask why? I mean, fuck, I live here and trust me, moral standards aren't really that high here.
Hell, if I recall correctly, the law for not fucking animals was only passed in 2009 and even then, it have severely big loopholes.

>> No.23010618

Better than Denmark, who allow you to fuck animals in certain instances as long as they aren't hurt.

The harkness test should be obligatory in those laws.

>> No.23010627

I thought the legal age of consent was 16? Also fucking a corpse, really now? Jag är fan lite avundsjuk att du kan leva ut dina fetischer.

>> No.23010677

>Keen vision
Depth perception, anyone?

>> No.23010681

Noen ting horer kanskje best til fantasien.

>> No.23010682

agreed on that
Man mår ju lite psykist dåligt, men det känns underbart. Lite kallt, lite fuktigt, väldigt skönt.

>> No.23010834

I think that's the joke.

>> No.23010835

Despite having no interest in doing this, i find that less legislation is better in this area if it's not backed up by some kind of solid science research. "We think it's icky" is a pretty bad argument.
What they DO need is to slap people with animal abuse charges if there's even the slightest reason to.

We institutionally kill animals and eat their remains or wear their skin. Often, they're transported or kept in ways that we'd never come close to finding acceptable for humans (chickens in cages cramped up together) and other things.
I eat meat and i have no political invovlement in any kind of eco shit, but i really am just trying to kinda give you some perspective here.

Animal abuse is animal abuse. If people do weird shit bordering on animal abuse, they either get hit with animal abuse charges or they don't.

>> No.23010949

so this is what happens to threads that hit the bump limit

>> No.23010974

Has it? I thought the bump limit was increased on all boards to 500?

>> No.23010993

i've been off the hook with this kind of stuff here in /tg/ but i remember it was 300 posts back in the day.

>> No.23012014

>We have gotten in some younger girls

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