[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / g / ic / jp / lit / sci / tg / vr / vt ] [ index / top / reports / report a bug ] [ 4plebs / archived.moe / rbt ]

/vt/ is now archived.Become a Patron!

/tg/ - Traditional Games

View post   

[ Toggle deleted replies ]
File: 57 KB, 460x407, lie-great-story-truth.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
22838173 No.22838173 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Everything is boring tonight /tg/. Tell me your horror stories. Your that guy stories. Tell me your greatest triumphs, and your most embarassing failures.

And I will respond with "Well that was entertaining!"

TL;DR: Stories. Horror, That Guy, Awesome, doesn't matter. Bring them all.

>> No.22838256
File: 330 KB, 993x3266, 1307693196721.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Don't have any of my own (no games recently) but have a screencap.

>> No.22838378

I'm running a 3.5 game that I put on suspension.
I have 6 players. Two of them don't have books and haven't read a single shred of rules. Oddly the most well behaved and effective party members. Three of them had been DM before with other groups, seem to appreciate my noobish attempts to run a game and seem to enjoy themselves too much at times. They get thoroughly smashed on cheap wine after the first hour. And that guy.

That guy is a rules lawyer only when it pertains to his character. He takes and takes and takes, but when I put any kind of limitation in place the night ends there. He slams open the rules and reads them aloud. Normally everyone kind of shrugs it off and I ignore him, but it got under everyone's skin this time, he interrupted the flow of the game literally killing it for the night.

Everyone told him almost at the same time to stop being retarded. He got angrier and kept reading the rules over and over. He claimed he felt he was being attacked and would rather just argue with just me and let everyone else stay out of it.

He doesn't comprehend that I'm trying to entertain 5 other people and his shitfit brings the fun to a screeching halt. I tried to let him know how his actions are affecting the flow of the game and he's being selfish. To bring it up to me later when we're not in the middle of something. Why would I stop the game to read out of the fucking book because you want more shit than you even need?

I snapped, I told him I didn't give a fuck about the rules and he shouldn't ever ask me anything regarding the rules if you are just going to contest it. If you know the goddamned rules so well then don't fucking ask other people about them you asshole. Why else are you asking then telling everyone that they are wrong other than that you need attention? fucking prick!
The world doesn't revolve around you and neither does my shitty game.

>> No.22838425
File: 321 KB, 1095x2380, 1307695077760.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>> No.22838469

This is why when players were never supposed to know the rules.

Originally the only things the players needed to know was how to roll up a character sheet and the jist of their magic spells. Players simply dictated their actions to the DM and he arbitrated.

It was specifically stated in the 1st edition DM's guide that the player should never question the rules. Most arguments at the table would be over what would happen according to real life physics (pretending magic existed in real life).

>> No.22838493
File: 194 KB, 1070x1837, Schizo_Tale.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I wrote a thing.

You might not be interested, but I'm going to put it in your thread because oh god help i don't know if i'm doing a good job with this story

>> No.22838499
File: 260 KB, 1059x2402, Schizo_Tale0.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.22838506
File: 81 KB, 1054x1043, Schizo_Tale1.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.22838512
File: 178 KB, 1056x2165, Schizo_Tale2.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.22838594

I'm not reading your shitty wannabe hunter s thompson wank

>> No.22838622

Multiple posts. Had to get this from the archive since I haven't typed it up in a while.

We had a Paladin, who's dad was a super powerful paladin crusader type leader of a holy order. His mother was a super powerful angel elf dragon thingy who descended to earth. Married the dad, first child was the greatest sorceror who graced the kingdom in years. The second son, was the PC. He basically went around getting whatever he wanted, recruiting anyone and everyone, and buying things on credit. In DnD. And repayment never came up ever again. His first encounter goes somewhat likes this:

>Goblin attack village
>Amazing paladin elf chooses to run away and buy armor on credit, put it on, and come back to fight with a 6 foot blade rapier that did slashing damage
>Leaving a level 1 sorceror and a level 1 half-drow barbarian to fight off the goblin horde
>a number of rounds later after the horde had been thinned down to an archer riding a dog the paladin finally arrives
>sorceror gets knocked down in one shot
>paladin tanks a hit failing to do anything meaningful while barbarian operates
>paladin becomes party face and gets all the credit
>never repays debt

More stories coming up.

>> No.22838631

>Most arguments at the table would be over what would happen according to real life physics (pretending magic existed in real life).
The only time I ever had this happen was when the person could not adapt to the logic of the setting, versus the logic that existed in their head.
MY THAT GUY TALE, in brief:
I had been dealing with a that guy for some 6 months. After exhausting all other means short of me leaving the group, I quietly brought up my grievances with everyone else, told them I wished for him to graciously resign from the group, and asked how they felt about this.
Cue the greatest shitstorm of my time. Butthurt, arguing, name calling, people wondering who I was going to drive out next, etc. I wanted to keep this quiet, but people blabbed, and EVERY FUCKING BODY, including people I scarcely knew, seemed to know about it. One guy there agreed with me, as he was gm'ing and had seen the issues I spoke of first hand, and was frustrated by it.
Finally, on game night, I had it out, repeated my arguments to the guy's face, and told them that if they wanted him to stay, I wouldn't argue because then the problem would be mine to sort out, not theirs. I also told them that if there was a problem with me and they wished me to leave, then I would leave without spite or grudge held, because they are all my friends and I won't stoop to such knavery.
At the end of it all, that guy said that he would bow out of the group of his own accord because he himself realized that he was creating issues within the group that for reasons or another could not be resolved to the satisfaction of everyone present. It ended the way I wanted, but it leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

>> No.22838637

Continued battles:

Quasit fight
>GM shatters the barbarian's longbow saying it was the largest weapon in the party meanwhile paladin runs up to the quasit (who is flying and invisible) and hits it with his 6ft. blade length rapier because it apparently gives him a 10 ft. reach

Explore the dungeon a bit more and run into these undead abomination things

>pool with a body in it that is clearly spawning them
>kill a few
>remove body
>Paladin throws body of quasit into the pool spawning two more undead
>who one shot the paladin
>these fuckers knock the paladin to 0
>rest of party is gets the fuck out of Dodge because we have a sorceror with no spells and a ranged barbarian with a shattered bow
>paladin regains consciousness and proceeds to heal himself while zombies stand by the door ignoring him
>apparently he got a level while while unconscious
>party comes back to save him

then they have a few small time battles with some goblins and end up meeting NPC's brother who is sorta the BBEG of this arc of the campaign

>meet BBEG
>capture BBEG
>barbarian wants to kill him because the BBEG is an asshole (not surprisingly the Half-drow is evil) and the sorceror concurs
>But no, the paladin being the party leader, decides to arrest him
>then he tells the barbarian OOC that he shouldn't be an evil character because he doesn't do enough evil stuff (the barbarian choosing not to be lolevilrandumb)

Culmination in next post.

>> No.22838660

>introduce new partymember
>a bard

Pretty typical stuff. This is me.

>go to goblin camp to kill goblin leader
>goblin leader is mutant with extra limbs
>end up in a room with a bunch of pit traps covered by wood
>paladin being the genius that he is, charges the goblin and grapples him, slamming him onto one of the boards
>goblin wins the grab
>and apparently there is a 20 ft. drop with a zombie at the bottom
>paladin ignores falling damage because zombie and goblin cushion him
>barbarian goes to get oil and fire (figuring hey, lets just burn it all and be done with this mess)
>while this happens sorceror and bard just chill
>paladin grapples for about an hour irl with both the goblin and the zombie
>paladin continues to argue that the zombie should be dead because the paladin ways a lot and landed on it
>DM gives barbarian x amount of time to get the supplies and return
>rest of party decides to chill in character and ooc irl waiting for the grapple to just end
>DM and paladin wank over grapple for a while longer
>eventually paladin wins, using "rapier of compensation" while in the grapple
>kills the goblin lord and zombie
>barbarian then returns to see the paladin triumphantly climbing out of the hole completely unharmed from the fall

We stopped playing after that because everyone is bored and annoyed. It was basically Paladin's magical journey with the DM facilitating his enjoyment. Any incident negatively impacting the paladin was waived. When brought up to the DM, he just said what amounted to "Oh well, its already happened, forget about it."

>> No.22838812

I have a good story, one that will make you feel like your /tg/ hobbies aren't a waste of time.

I moved to Denver for college, and within the span of two months, met my first girlfriend. As happens when two people develop a relationship, our circles of friends began to merge. I was a pretty solid fa/tg/guy even before I moved out there, with my fingers in all sorts of nerd pie, such as MTG, D&D, Heroclix, BESM, and a bunch of homebrew stuff on the side. My girlfriend and her group of people all enjoyed everything on the periphery of /tg/ stuff, but had never actually taken part. They went to renaissance festivals, but never played D&D. They watched metric tons of anime, but never tried BESM.

A couple months after hanging out with these guys, I decided to pop their roleplaying cherries. I didn't, however, just shove the books in their faces and hand them blank pieces of paper, as was done on my first day playing AD&D. We started off doing 3.5, and over the course of a couple weeks, I sat down with each one of them individually, and helped build their characters. We had quite the party balance going on too. We had a ranger, a rogue, a paladin, and a wizard who was considering multi-classing to druid. Each one of them had a backstory, and reasons for travelling north through a mountain pass stemming from the town of Highfolk one fateful, windy, night.

But I didn't stop there with pampering these newbies. I would let them see any book they wanted to, but I told them "Don't even worry about what ability does what. You all have all of the dice you need, so just roll the ones I tell you to and I'll handle all the math." This put a ton of work onto me, as the DM. I worried about how long I was going to be able to keep up the pace... until we started.

What started as a desperate attempt to piece together a roleplaying group out of some new acquaintances turned out to be my absolute best, most memorable, and longest-running campaign to date. True story.

>> No.22838819
File: 852 KB, 1250x2820, 1307725434831.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

There are people in this world. People who deserve to be slapped so hard it's like reality meets them for the first time. Your GM is one of those people. Not even the paladin, because he might not have been a wank if he wasn't enabled, but definitely the GM.

>> No.22838854
File: 10 KB, 191x234, glee!.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>New SchizoTale


>> No.22839013

>We stopped playing after that because everyone is bored and annoyed. It was basically
>Paladin's magical journey with the DM facilitating his enjoyment. Any incident
>negatively impacting the paladin was waived. When brought up to the DM, he just said
>what amounted to "Oh well, its already happened, forget about it."


I have a cunning plan for you. The correct reaction to this sort of thing is to start playing as Baldrick.

>> No.22839067


Sorry, linked to the wrong post there. I meant this one. >>22838660

>> No.22839100


Got another story with him if you'd like?


Yeah the GM enables him in every campaign I''ve seen them together. Worst part is, its kinda like an unconscious enabling. He doesn't try to enable. Just naturally does. And apparently we have a new campaign soon. A number of invited players have considered all of us running fanwank characters and turning it into an all out circlejerk to see who is most dominant special snowflake.

>> No.22839379
File: 252 KB, 1581x678, 1307725697748.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Go for it! More story ahoy.

>> No.22839422

Oriental Adventures time, Party consists of:

Monk (that paladin player)
Gunslinger (barbarian player)
Swordsman obsessed with speed (likes haste spells etc)
Ninja who pretending to be a merchant
Natural weapon fighter
Some other guy that I don't remember what they were

>everyone awakens in a mist filled battlefield
>no recollection of what happens
>characters have the opportunity to RP meeting each other in pairs
>Gunslinger meets natural weapon with guns drawn and they agree since neither of them knew what the fuck was going on, they would try to find out what the fucked happened
>swordsman meets ninja and holds him at blade point

Now onto the beginning of the main attraction:

>monk sees other guy. Ignores him. And flies out of the campaign back home.
>in all honesty, what happens is he flew above the mist and then to the closest town
>rest of party meets up, and decides to go to the town to ask around
>monk leaves town 1
>party asks around and hears that a monk came from the same area and decides to pursue monk for information
>party goes to town 2
>monk has already left to town 3
>party continues to follow the lead
>town 3 and 4 pass, and eventually the party meets monk at the monk's monastary

And the bullshit begins.

>> No.22839437

Monastary arc:

>Party questions monk
>monk just ignores them and starts digging in the garden and shit
>party questions the monk asking shit like if he awoke in a mist filled battlefield
>monk plays stupid (not sure if playing or just dumb)
>basically dances around questions for a long time
>eventually starts answerring them

Meanwhile a group of ninjas attack a local guard outpost and a nearby magistrate and courier quickly contact the people in the town with the monastary to get them to help fight off the ninjas

>Party decides to help because , this is kinda of odd. Ninjas dont siege places. Possible connection to battlefield?
>Monk refuses to go.
>States that town guard should go.
>Magistrate argues town guard is needed for towns' safety
>Party asks monk to join them
>Monk refuses choosing to stay behind in monastary for training
>GM is trying to use ninja attack as hook to get the party on the road
>Monk continues resistance against all offers of fame, fortune, women, knowledge, possessions
>Monk's master suggests monk go
>Monk argues with master stating that he would rather stay and be trained
>Master says he has nothing more to teach him offering that experience has its own part in the growth of a living being
>Monk indignantly states "why are you the grandmaster then if you have nothing more to teach"
>Monk decides he does not want to be part of the plot and continues to resist joining the party

Now the party OOC argues with him to get him to fucking join so we can play the damn dungeon. Eventually he goes along, stating that he was just "rping". We stopped shortly after because the whole chasing the monk/arguing with the NPCs and players incident took hours and no one was in the mood to play anymore.

Should mention it was a different DM.

>> No.22839595

Why do you even play with him any more?

>> No.22839908
File: 653 KB, 1305x2510, 1307735023024.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Tell me someone went, "Well, if he doesn't want to go, we'll do it ourselves!" because if not, nobody -really- wanted to get on with the plot. There's a difference between productive RPing and just being a twat and bogging everyone down.

>> No.22840902
File: 59 KB, 400x534, why.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

What the flying fuck.

I read that whole pic just dumbfounded. Holy shit.

>> No.22841175
File: 254 KB, 1231x950, 1307963432962.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

In commending anon's lack of WHY stories, I will post 3 more such images. After which I will abandon the internet for the realm of dreams. If this is still up when I wake, I'll post more. Collect as you please.

>> No.22841180
File: 320 KB, 1137x2680, 1307964392512.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.22841194
File: 716 KB, 872x4850, 1307965866337.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

3/3 Note: Not guaranteed to be your flavor of WHY but still enjoyable stories.

>> No.22841212
File: 86 KB, 1259x353, 1307973201236.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

BONUS: Because last one was short-ish.

>> No.22841328

I love it

>> No.22841383

I hope that rogue had some ketchup for all those harsh browns she got served

>> No.22842245
File: 39 KB, 562x437, reactionHAAHWAAW.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Fucking awesome.

>> No.22842286


That seems pretty harsh, yo.

>> No.22842474

>killed another party member
>'abloobloobloo killing her was harsh'

>> No.22842512

>Not being a Paladin and making this defining hated of Evil into a class feature

Shiggym'diggy roleplay

>> No.22842932


Not really the killing her being harsh but the manner of execution that involved killing other innocents. Seems a bit over-the-top with an air of "you are a fool for believing these civilians are worth anything." They could've just stabbed the bitch.

>> No.22843064

Doesn't quite drive the point home that nobody's exactly 'innocent' and what she did was childish.

>> No.22845406


He gives entertaining stories, and he's a decently nice guy outside of gaming. Might try to post more when I get home.

>> No.22846009


Well they were innocent of the situation. Like, the woman wasn't doing anything evil and she got killed for just freaking out. Yeah it had to be done and yeah the player was a bitch but they didn't need to go full "dark lord" in order to prove a point.

Also I thought the point was "don't betray your teammates" as opposed to "all these civilians deserve whatever fate we choose for them"

>> No.22846047
File: 171 KB, 1546x1250, donovan graham.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I've seen this posted a few times and I fucking hate it every single time. Look, anon, we're all about brutal truths, so here it is.

You're a decent writer but that's the most juvenile shit ever, and you need to keep it out of threads where people are looking to be entertained.

>> No.22846266


Kind of this, anon. The writing is alright but it needs more details to really lock the player into the world and the events that are happening. Also the language gets confusing at times and I have no idea what is going on.

>> No.22846567


>> No.22848744
File: 82 KB, 439x400, thumbs_up_large.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


Will do.


>more details to really lock the player into the world and the events that are happening.

Feedback is appreciated, will look into it later.

>> No.22848875

My female friend was the GM for a game, and one of her friends invited his friend along.

He did NOTHING but hit on her (she's a lesbian so it just pissed her off), have his character hit on female NPCs and made unbelievable rape jokes for no reason.

It was her house, and she kicked him out after killing off his character. His friend was really embarrassed and apologised profusely. I think they stopped speaking.

He was an asshole.

>> No.22849258
File: 79 KB, 1661x305, 1307973237878.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I return with yet more glorious tales in picture form. Stories for the story god, screencaps for the screencap throne.

>> No.22849272
File: 127 KB, 1259x1050, 1307973745930.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

One of my favorites, here.

>> No.22849279
File: 18 KB, 735x256, lost_all_the_mice.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>> No.22849286
File: 136 KB, 1135x897, Don_The_Armor.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>> No.22849305
File: 64 KB, 742x411, good_vs_objectivism.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.22849401

Reminds me of the killing blow against IT.

>This is Battery acid. Now you disappear.

>> No.22849939
File: 1.23 MB, 3164x3558, 1307986360709.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.22849969
File: 67 KB, 1065x327, 1310711578125.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

2/3 Bein' a Bard ain't easy...

>> No.22850027
File: 53 KB, 1231x681, 1311138607194.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

3/3 Necromancy has it's ups and downs!

>> No.22850064
File: 46 KB, 550x600, look_at_all_dat_Bane.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Teamkilling should always be repaid with interest.

>> No.22850701
File: 153 KB, 992x1880, 1324615894563.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

More stories here.

When all else fails, you can count on bros and mopeds.

>> No.22850728
File: 61 KB, 720x443, 1326982322685.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

One of the classics!

>> No.22850825
File: 483 KB, 1212x1486, 1330496117768.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

...oh dear.

>> No.22850875
File: 185 KB, 1139x291, gaymarriagequest.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

This is what happens when you play with tumblrites.

>> No.22850914
File: 1.62 MB, 826x3382, 1340297077619.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

/tg/ is fantastic at JUSTICE, lemme tell ya.

>> No.22851694


>> No.22852412
File: 1.54 MB, 826x3226, 1340297166138.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

It has been bumped, and so I shall continue. Stories still welcome.

>> No.22852425
File: 1.64 MB, 826x3490, 1340297225159.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

This guy has the best LARPtales.

>> No.22852447
File: 341 KB, 675x4241, 1340297260763.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

We interrupt your regularly scheduled LARPtales for OH LAWDY

>> No.22852929

I know I've got problems, because I'm mildly jealous of Plouton.

>> No.22853095


Surely there is more

>> No.22853272

So what happened next?!

Was he caught and executed? Did he manage to get back into the game with his same character? How many other people did he freezer-burn before he reached the conclusion?

>> No.22853394


>> No.22853445

There is a continuation (which is actually pretty badass), but I don't have it saved on this computer. Sorry.

>> No.22853711

Thanks friend

>> No.22853762
File: 1.69 MB, 826x3432, 1340297276437.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I was caught up in things BUT I HAVE RETURNED for stories.

>> No.22853775
File: 1.90 MB, 826x3333, 1340297322077.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Let's finish this LARPstory, yes?

>> No.22853788
File: 877 KB, 826x1678, 1340297413836.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.22853805
File: 630 KB, 1223x2392, 1340297437285.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Santa's a scary man when you mess with the kids.

>> No.22853824
File: 228 KB, 988x1732, 1340297637249.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

/tg/ has the best real life horror stories.

>> No.22853849
File: 913 KB, 1318x2256, 1340297685660.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

There's crazy. There's boy crazy. And then there's WHOA HOLD UP NOW LET ME GET THE POLICE ON THE LINE crazy. This one's just a little bit of all of them.

>> No.22853874
File: 1.80 MB, 826x3866, 1340297692199.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Aha, part of the LARP saga went awry in my archives. I'll have to organize them. One day. When I have absolutely nothing else to do, for this will surely consume a day.

>> No.22853913
File: 186 KB, 1057x3188, 1340297961164.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

So a wizard cross-classes lawyer and walks into an adventure...

>> No.22853921

Actually, there's a thread somewhere about how that threads bogus, and the injuries displayed are self inflicted

>> No.22853935
File: 172 KB, 867x3932, 1340298038040.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Look, I know he's just the janitor and all, but uh...I wouldn't...you know what, go ahead, push him. What's the worst that could happen?

>> No.22853947
File: 37 KB, 777x654, 1340298446980.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Another classic: Kung-fu action movie gone horribly wrong, or comically right.

>> No.22854320
File: 209 KB, 600x501, 1358179644359.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>DMing a campaign for several months.
> Everything goes smooth. Social and investigation skills are the most frequently used ones.
> Both me and players seem to be pleased with the overall course of story. I let them craft their plot by themselves at this moment.
> One of them suddenly asks me to DM one adventure in my setting.
>He persuades me, saying that it would be just a simple side-story that wouldn't have a big impact over the entire campaign's plot.
> He hit my weak spot. I was getting tired of being forever DM.
> No big impact on the plot or world, he says.
> Two sessions later
> Killed his DMPCs and broke his railroad system

>> No.22855655

Wanted to share this because it's one of my first games I've ever played. I lurk in these threads and finally have something to contribute myself. Makes me kinda giddy.

>Second session of our Pathfinder game
>Playing a CN Elf Gunslinger
>Having already defended a storefront with my CG Half-orc barbarian bro and a LG Paladin, the nobleman we work for wants us to join a raid on the gang's hideout.
>We get there minutes before the assault and get directed at the quartermaster.
>My guy, being kind of a greedy fuck, takes extra potions of Cure Light Wounds.
>Before he leaves his lifts a dagger because "Why the fuck not?"
>We position ourselves at the back of the warehouse to wait for the signal.
>My elf decides he wants to sneak inside to get a "tactical advantage" and disregard the signal.
>Flub the sneak roll and get immediately detected.
>I noticed that the men inside we setting up an ambush so I fire a stray shot across the warehouse and shut out, alerting the guards outside that it's a trap.
>Incidentally, hit the guy even though he was 70+ feet away.
>I sort of screwed the entire plan. But DM tells me that at least I ruined the surprise round from the ambush.
>A few rounds pass until I decide I want to go to the second floor to the Warehouse office.
>However, the stairs are kinda blocked by combat.
>Decide I want to acrobatics my way up there. So I do.
>Run up some crates and grab onto the second floor. DM tells me I just made my DC.
>Archer decides to shoot at me. My AC tells his arrow to fuck off.
>I pull myself up and run to the office, reloading my gun as I arrive.
>Inside a man is burning some papers. Thinking that it would obviously be things of import, I aim to stop him.
>Archer tries for a round two. Arrow still fucks right off.
>Aim and roll a 1. Gun misfires right in my hand.
>Archer is really persistent, but really shitty too. Still no hit.
>Decide I really need to stop the man, so I burst through the window.


>> No.22855718


>Man inside (apparently assassin) stares at me like "What the fuck is he doing?"
>While he's surprised I put out the papers, trying to salvage some info.
>Assassin's turn and he looks into the factory, realizes it's a lost cause, and jumps out the other window, leading outside.
>I sort of say fuck it and jump after him.
>Take about half health from that with an alright acrobatics roll and then chase after hm.
>I run down the street after him, not having time to use grit to fix my gun and reload.
>Instead I try and tackle him a few times.
>Fail twice.
>He makes his way to a busy street where I barely make my perception check to track him.
>Tackle him successfully this time as we scuffle.
>I take out my new dagger and and stab him for 4 damage.
>He takes his turn trying to escape. He rolls a 1.
>Then I roll a 20 and confirm for my next turn.
>With a bit of DM fun I ended up stabbing the guy in the spin, crippling him from the legs down.
>The next turn the assassin tries to kill himself, not wanting me to have any victory.
Screw that noise!
>Barely pass the DC to stop his arm as I tear his dagger away.
>Grab my musket and rifle butt him to the face to knock him unconscious.
>Barbarian bro arrives and looks at me confused.
>I stand up, point to him and then the assassin. "You're the strong guy, pick him up. I did more work than I should have today."
>Barbarian picks him up and we take the man prisoner to our employer for a nice end of session.

Fairly fun for a second game. Only 20 I got that entire session was that dagger stab though. Barb friend ended up insta-gibbing one of our Guard Lieutenants as well as slaughtering some other random thugs, while I just had a chase scene. I still had fun though.

>> No.22855966

Wow. Overkill.

>> No.22855988

Sounds like 1d20 to me,

>> No.22855992

Not saving someone isnt' teamkilling.

Then again, I'm probably only buttmad because lolfemale

>> No.22856026
File: 180 KB, 1269x602, 1340298818840.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Sometimes, NPCs get -really- badass. It kinda sucks, when they're not on your side.

>> No.22856073
File: 375 KB, 1360x2981, 1340299427158.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

If only we'd raised him as a good, fun, /tg/-loving kid...

>> No.22856103
File: 365 KB, 1266x1836, 1340299754810.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Sometimes, you don't have to be amazing. If you pretend hard enough, it just turns out that way.

>> No.22856173

>Very first game under new DM
>Exploring a sunken dragon worshiper castle or something like that, some pre-made campaign
>Rolling with my new level 2 Warforged Rogue, who was under-prepared because the local town was made up of rather good and lawful folk without any magical fun stuff, so I couldn't get any sort of thieves' tools
>Or my fucking extendable pole.
>Current frustration: 2/10
>Climb in, making way down halls and such
>Hit a locked door
>Ask if I can take a 20 and just pop the sucker open because NOTHING was around us anywhere
>Couldn't even take a 10
>Roll three times with totals of 14, 7, and 24 to unlock this door.
>"The door remains locked."
>The hardest locks on a balanced campaign should be something like 20+character level, so 22 DC
>Suggest that Paladin uses his "push gauntlet" OP magic item to blow it down
>Ranger says the door is locked for a reason and we should just keep looking
>4/10 because that's shitty as fuck logic
>Explore what we can of the rest of this single floor and discover that the only way further in is through that door
>DM mocks us for not using the OP glove to blow the door down
>Blow door down
>Finally get some combat
>Which the rogue sweeps up with her magic longbow of heartseeking which grants some ridiculous bonuses
>All said and done, she adds +9 to hit on each shot and +5 damage per shot.
>Meanwhile we might as well be giving the rats and goblins hugs for all the good we're doing
>Especially myself, because I haven't hit ANYTHING yet due to some miserable rolls

>> No.22856308

>Find kobold who leads us to kobold den or whatever
>Told to retrieve a dragon that they worship
>Find a prison cell on the way there with a gnome cleric inside
>We decide to sleep in the prison
>I roleplay with some goblins, which nets me 100 exp for actually roleplaying
>They come back later and find out I was bluffing out my ass
>I kick the door and throw a javelin
>DM: "The goblins get initiative because they got the drop on you."
>8/10, boiling point
>"No. I kicked open the door, ready to fight, and launched a javelin. I should get initiative, if anybody does."
>DM: "Actually, yeah, that makes sense. Okay, roll."
>Do decent, but the Goblin Sargent dodges and I pin a flunkie to a wall
>We now roll for initiative and I wake everyone up
>I get a 16, which is plenty enough, so it's my turn again
>"I run the Goblin Sargent through with my rapier."
>Nat 20. No confirmation because the DM is a newbie and just went with it.
>And the rapier had x3 critical on a 1d8, and I didn't complain
>24 damage total
>"The goblin bellows a battle cry at you and punches you for (ridiculous amount for a punch that I can't remember) damage."
>Elf Ranger pops out and kills the rest of the goblins and the Sargent, because apparently I didn't kill it
>And I missed two rounds in a row
>Against a target who is skewered on the end of my rapier
>9/10, dangerously angry
>Finally find baby dragon
>return to Kobolds
>DM tells us we either get a magic door key OR the "mystery box" items
>Or we can kill the Kobolds and have a baby dragon as a pet
>0/10, sheer ecstasy, everyone else is getting travelling companions and mine could very well be a baby white dragon
>"As a Paladin, I would have to attack you because it's evil."
>"If you kill these Kobolds, I won't use my charm creature spell thing on it ever."
>The only thing I actually wanted or cared about the whole campaign
>10/10, gave the fuck up, didn't give two shits for the rest of the night

>> No.22856324

In the Paladin's defense, he was making an in-character and completely OK statement and I probably could have bluffed him in to thinking the Kobolds were evil dragon worshippers or something.

The Ranger, however, was full bitch mode.

In retrospect, yeah, I was pissy that night, however literally everyone else was getting good rolls and being able to benefit the group, and I felt like I could do absolutely nothing at all.

>> No.22856338

>Killing a baby
What a shitty paladin.
>Not making your ranger a monster hunting badass

>> No.22856376

We didn't kill it, we just gave it back to the Kobolds. Which could have been as good as killing it.

And there's a difference between a natural ranger monster killing badass and a magical bow that grants something like +5 to-hit and +5 damage. At level ONE (when she found it. Fucking other DM)

>> No.22856398

I know you didn't kill it, but threatening to kill it is still a dick move for a paladin. All in all, sounds like a boring experience. I try to put rule of cool before everything else when I DM.

>> No.22856438
File: 59 KB, 353x340, 1249626902016.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

OH, now I get it. I meant to say that he said "As a Paladin, I would have to attack you because [attacking innocent Kobolds to steal their dragon] evil."

But yeah, it was boring and frustrating. And all of the fun things we tried to do were either rendered pointless or completely disallowed.

EX: At the beginning of said campaign...
>Outside chasm
>Pillars strewn about from balcony where building was before it fell
>Friend and me want to push a pillar in
>Ranger looks at us like we're retarded
>DM puts head in hands
>"What do we roll?"
>"A D20, strength mod."
>14 and 16, with mods 16 and 18
>"Okay, now roll d4s"
>1 and 4
>"The pillar budges slightly on Rogue's end, but immediately settles back in to place."

>> No.22856595

Did'nt someone turn that into a comic?

>> No.22856680
File: 500 KB, 724x1024, assassinscreed_broken_manga.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]



No they did not.


>> No.22856683
File: 421 KB, 724x1024, assassinscreed_broken_manga0.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.22856689
File: 223 KB, 724x1024, assassinscreed_broken_manga1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.22856696
File: 252 KB, 724x1024, assassinscreed_broken_manga2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.22856701
File: 406 KB, 724x1024, assassinscreed_broken_manga3.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.22856708
File: 441 KB, 724x1024, assassinscreed_broken_manga4.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.22856714
File: 597 KB, 724x1024, assassinscreed_broken_manga5.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.22856721
File: 250 KB, 724x1024, assassinscreed_broken_manga6.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.22856724
File: 227 KB, 724x1024, assassinscreed_broken_manga7.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.22856729
File: 279 KB, 724x1024, assassinscreed_broken_manga8.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.22856855
File: 476 KB, 500x264, 1349259762691.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Twilight of the gods! That is rather tragic.

>> No.22857061

Gah! Demonspawn of... I'm not sure, but SOME Chaos god must have had a hand in this beast! Grab the flamers!

>> No.22857087
File: 540 KB, 744x750, 1340435225895.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Fun times with old group, if not slightly murderhoboish times.
>awesome but anal gm doesn't want to play with them so despite still hanging out he decides hes just going to awkwardly ignore them.
>despite all attempts to reconcile them the gm continues to awkwardly ignore.

>go months without a game
>finally get with a group we know from old friends.
>Fun times at first with old gm gming.
>they make a dozen other games in their time
>decide to cut things down to one game, our newbie gm friends game.
>at first game has direction but then we lose it again, newbie gm afraid to do anything remotely close to railroading.
>combat grinds to a halt as the two people generally *faster* than me take forever on their turns
>the *Protagonist* complex Directly Below me in order always tries to rush me through my turn to get to his
>Protag haranges me with rules related stuff even if im just trying to describe my actions
>in general no sense of teamwork or tactics,
>once combat is over whatever magic made us happen to all be there at once fades and everyone returns to not interacting with the rest of the party.

>eventually everyone makes more games anyways Despite our agreement, receive invitation to 1 of 5 of them anyways, it sucked. Old Gm isn't able to start a new game with them
>refuse to learn new systems so every single game is some form of 3.5 romp

>Old GM Agrees with my sentiments
>still decides to hold whatever fucking grudge hes holding against old group anyways and refuses to play with them despite this.
>wished old gm would just get over his overprivileged ass and realize old group has been letting him and his older brother stay at their tiny house and show some fucking humility.

>MFW I Realize I keep company of that guys.
>MFW I try my hardest to keep them at least stable
>MFW I Think it would sometimes be best to just let those assholes finally tear each others throats out and be done with it

>> No.22857345
File: 259 KB, 1305x1118, 1340300192023.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Evil is a patient thing you know. Waits 'til you're distracted. Unwitting. Thinking better of it. And then when you least expec-hhhrhrrrrggllblbkl

>> No.22857398
File: 262 KB, 1602x808, 1340310631426.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Paladins shouldn't just be warriors of light. They should be people whose faith in the good of others is so strong that it can bring forth that very good, be it through words or action.

>> No.22857399

God damn it.

>> No.22857410
File: 101 KB, 1216x449, 1340310841475.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Good RP, or absurd dickery? You decide!

>> No.22858374


True, that part put me on guard, but it was still shitty. If it helps, many, many men have been that dickish while playing rpgs.

>> No.22858817


Yeah but you come to expect it. Society thrives upon aggression and rewards dominance. Even if it is a bit dickish. So you kinda come to expect that shit from guys. Where as society doesn't hold the same branch to female aggression upfront. So when they play behind the scenes as normal, it doesn't strike us as off or quite as dickish. More petty. The moment they go upfront, that's both unexpected, directly understandable contempt (as opposed to the stereotypical less discernible nature of female interaction) and rather threatening from a male perspective as you can't let a female top you at your own game that has basically been fed to you all your life so the dick move is exaggerated in nature of viewpoint.

>> No.22859696

Dr. Drakken?

>> No.22859918
File: 661 KB, 1236x4000, 1341651983398.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I return once more! With one of more legendary horror stories of /tg/...witness BBB! AND TREMBLE! Or go insane and puke somewhere. Y'know, whatever.

>> No.22859933
File: 648 KB, 1264x1384, 1342493233461.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

The DM doesn't need to throw a dragon at you, you know. One well placed goblin. That's all it takes to ruin a party's reputation and make their lives a miserable hell.

>> No.22861345

Sad, but awesome.

>> No.22864717

I haven't laughed that hard in a looong time.

>> No.22867509

Haven't read this in a few days. Bumping.

>> No.22868038
File: 116 KB, 1188x687, tgseducesameteor.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.22868084



>> No.22868491

I've got a That Guy. I really hope they read it, too.

>Playing a LOTR-themed game
>Make my character an ex Rider of Rohan turned mercenary
>Buddy is an elven scholar who's talented with a bow
>Another player rolled a hunter who loves the woods
>Later find out they basically made Kaitness Everdeen from the Hunger Games...

>My merc meets the hunter in a pub, she asks for help dealing with nearby brigands and thugs
>I agree, fight through the camp, but later take an arrow in between two ribs
>Hunter basically kills my character trying to remove it


>Woman starts falling for my mercenary
>Sure, why not
>My character admits he thinks she's attractive, she plans a wedding
>Alright, fine, whatever
>Somebody makes an OOC joke "Hey, what about that elf girl he slept with?"
>Hunter ICly gets angry, accuses my character of cheating, and puts an arrow into his ankle
>Now he's limping
>"What the fuck was that?"
>Some bullshit about how rumor spread to her
>She gets over it, they get married (yippie....)

It only got worse

>She gets possessed by a wight
>Wight of Angmar (because there's millions of those taking over idiot hunters) took control of her when she went to Annuminas
>Angmar and Annuminas aren't even close to each other
>Whatever, new storyline that involves freeing this person
>She powergames her way past everyone's attempts, says only my character can do anything
>Fine, fuck it, she's free after an hour of doing nothing

At this point, I had my character killed off so I didn't have to deal with it anymore.

>Build a Ranger of the North. He has a daughter (another player), a bastard son from his escapades, and a Gondorian adventurer for a wife
>Plenty of storylines are made and completed, some of which I DM'ed and my Ranger was a NPC
>Really liking the character
>That Guy says the Ranger should meet Kaitness
>What? No... No no no.
>They meet in a forced RP in the Prancing Pony

>> No.22868612

>Elven scholar bro advises not speaking with the crazy woman
>My ranger (chaotic good) thinks that there's good in everyone, so he talks to her
>Mourning her dead husband, she has an eyepatch now
>Getting OOC messages about how angry they are at me
>Like I give a fuck
>She gets drunk, another elf walks over
>My buddy's in tears at this point
>I ask why

The new elf was saying he was Legolas' brother, and that he was among the wisest in the town. Meanwhile, his grammar was awful and he kept misspelling things.

>Two elves begin exchanging words, soon turns into an argument
>My Ranger is trying to calm them down while keeping That Guy from venturing off, drunk, into the woods and getting killed
>So much switching between Sindarin and Westron
>Finally give up, woman walks off into the woods, I follow because I'm not dealing with another death ICly
>She's stumbling all over the place, eventually falls into a lake in which I hoped she'd drown
>Nope, stands up and continues on
>Mistakes my Ranger for the Mercenary, says how she misses him
>Think for a moment ICly, my ranger decides to play along
>"I'm fine. Move on, it's all you can do. I'm waiting for you on the other side." And that bullshit
>She starts crying, then sobers up and punches my Ranger in the face
>I say fuck it, both OOCly and ICly, and leave.
>Elf bro is laughing his ass off

That's it. I tend to avoid this player at all costs. They're terrible in RP, and keeps trying to drag me back into that terrible storyline that they first had going (well maybe your Ranger is the mercenary undercover!) God, I hate this person.

Name (leave empty)
Comment (leave empty)
Password [?]Password used for file deletion.