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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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[ERROR] No.22689174 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Dear Abby,

My daughter wants to get cyberware for her 16th birthday. I think she is too young but she insists that many kids her age have been getting them and they are apparently all the rage. I thought I might offer her a car or a new computer but she seems dead set on putting a hunk of metal and plastic in her body. I remember when I was her age and I wanted to express myself in new and bold ways but this seems a bit more serious than the crazy haircuts and tattoos of my days.

One one hand, I don't want to be some old foggy who won't let her try new things or express herself. Its true that many people are getting work done on themselves and the process is relatively safe nowadays. On the other hand I'm not comfortable with her getting something that will be stuck on her for the rest of her life, regardless if she likes it five or ten years from now.

Should I put my foot down, tell her no, and hope she doesn't sneak into a clinic and do it behind my back? Or should I let her get augmented so long as she doesn't get anything too outrageous?

-Beleaguered in Boston

>> No.22689203

You're a pussy, Boston. Why haven't you bought your daughter a full on jar job? She could be a perfect inhuman killing machine, enslaved to drugs and our loving master Lofwyr by now. Instead, she's still meat, instead of a brain in a jar, because you're a bad parent.

Have a teaspoon of concrete and contact your local S-K program representative today. They're awaiting your call.

>> No.22689228

RESPONSE BELEAGUERED IN BOSTON

1111100101010110101001001001010010100101010101010110010101010101011101010010101010101010000101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101011111001010101101010101000010010101010100101010101001011101010101001101010101011010101010101001010101010101010

PUT THIS SCREEN IN FRONT OF YOUR OFFSPRING'S VISUAL ORIFICES.

-A.B.B.Y.

>> No.22689242

>>22689174

Look, B in B, you may not have asked for this, but Teenagers, well...At the end of the day, you have to let them have a little freedom for this sort of thing. If she really wants it, you can hardly stop her. Better you pay for a nice, standard upgrade from a reputable clinic than tell her no, and have her find another way.

One I['m sure you would enjoy even less than having your little girl augmented.

But make sure she starts small...Nothing wrong with helping her ease into this sort of thing.

>> No.22689364

please do not listen to the crazy man OP

while it is fine socialy today to cyber-it-up, there IS still a possibility that your daughter be allergic. you do not want your daughter to sneak in a bodyshop and die on a table, do you?

I would recommend going with her and begin with simple stuff after the allergic check up like implanted communication equipment and maybe simple organ booster like the liver-upper (children her age do begin to experiment with heavy alcool dosage!)

i would discourage full limb replacement, it cost a fortune and do have a psychological impact, mostly if the removed limb was healthy

come visit us at cyberjack's on main and 7th avenue, well see what we can do safely and hip for a girl her generation!

>> No.22689377

Dear Beleaguered,
My advice depends entirely on what kind of cyberware your daughter desires.
If she wants to use prosthetic and hack off an arm in the process, tell her that at her age she'll probably have to go through a costly replacement or two, and it'd be best to wait for college.
On the other hand, if she wants additive cyberware, such as mechadendrites, cyber-tentacles, shoulder mounted rocket launchers, or a shiva modification, remember that it's never too early to start adding new pieces onto someone. Teens have a great amount of neural-plasticity, making your daughter ripe for addapting to all sorts of additive cyberware. I've already added four cyber-tentacles to my three-year old, and my newborn baby is due to be sized up for high-powered lasers next week.

Praise the omnissiah,
Abby

>> No.22689425

>>22689377

Can't forget the most important addition though, can we Abby?

The might DRILL!

>> No.22689426

"Body," ha. Bunch of monkeys in here. (And no, putting on a fancy watch doesn't make you less of one.)

>> No.22689439

>something that will be stuck on her for the rest of her life, regardless if she likes it five or ten years from now

do you even organ printing? I'll be happy to grow her a new arm or whatever.

>> No.22689459

Hate to bear some bad news...
http://www.tmz.com/2013/01/17/dear-abby-dies-dead-pauline-phillips/

>> No.22689589 [DELETED] 

>>22689459
>killed the thread

>> No.22689647

>>22689459
> Implying her brain/head has not been saved in a jar for future cybernetic revival by the true masters of the world.

Bro do you even augment?

>> No.22690094

>>22689174

You should have her try out any modifications in simulation space first to safeguard against buyer's remorse, and to better select something that she feels truly comfortable with.

Sim rentals are dead cheap nowadays, and virtually all reputable augtech companies offer preloaded cyberware 'fitting' sims for potential customers.

>> No.22690205

Greatings, /dg/!
I wish to extend my thanks to you for reading this post. I am a 7th-dimensional nightcreature duke who needs to collekt my inheritance. But I need you to help me! All you need to do is deposit you soule into your internet device so I can wire my inheritance of temporal rights to you as thanks.
Many thanks to you.

>> No.22690294

>>22690205
Bro, Avernian email scams are played out. Mostly because you can't actually rip out your own soul and put it in a computer.

Trust me, if you could, I'd be the world's first cyber-lich already.

>> No.22690329

>>22689228

Nice try, but all ISPs have had mandated router-level basilisk obfuscation for years now. That string won't be sending anyone into a recursion coma, and now you've probably been flagged as an infoterrorist.

>> No.22690482

>>22689647

>Saving the actual physical head
>Not uploading the brain-state like a civilized person

What is this, 2044? I mean, all that applied cryonics stuff was pretty neat for its day, but no one has had to be shackled to their original body for a long time now.

>> No.22690716

>>22690294
>implying I don't have my sole backed up
It's on my hard-drive, right next to my fap folders

>> No.22690744

>>22690716
I can't believe you'd pirate shoes. Have you no decency, sir?

>> No.22690984

>>22690744
Dude, it's my shoe. I haven't uploaded it anywhere.
And even if I did pirate it, so what? Ever since it turned out we COULD download cars, everything else was a piece of cake.
Which I got from BiteTorrent, btw. Still don't believe my father when he said that the world used to have a problem with hunger.

>> No.22691032

I am a 11th dimension prince of the warp here, I am representing my mistress Slaneesh, In short I am prepared to offer any augmentations for the simple measly price of a commitment of service for a set period of time. Who wants to sign up?

>> No.22692648

A good 80% of Japan already has cyberbrains by the age of 14, and there's heaps of full body borgs around. A cybernetic arm is pretty trivial.

>> No.22692736

>>22692648
That's hardly a good argument. A ton of studies are showing that even a partial cyberbrain implant before full maturity can seriously whack you out psychologically, down the line.

>> No.22692820

I consider basic sensory feeds and a cybernetic neural interface to be fine for a sixteen year old. Elective limb replacement is the stupidest fashion I've ever seen and last a hell of a lot longer then a tattoo.

So my advice to this fine woman is to give the girl a basic neural interface and see how she handles that. It's a requirement for most more advance equipment anyway and allows for eyes free, hands free data access, something that really will help with studying.*

*Ok, the classic attack here is "if she has the textbook copied to her neural interface's internal memory, dose she learn the material? "

Learning the material well enough to reference the textbook and apply what is inside to solve problems means she knows the material. Intelligence is the application of knowledge, you can drop the library of congress in someone's head, if they are a dumbass they will still be a dumbass.

>> No.22696115

>>22692648
>a lot of people are doing it, so it must be ok
>there's worse things out there, so this must be a good thing
Better check your software, brah. Might have a couple corrupted runtimes.

>> No.22696143

>>22690329
CUUUUUUUURSE YOU GADGET!

>> No.22696201

>>22691032
Three questions. One, bionics or organics? Two, how long is the service? Three, what does the service entail specifically- as if I have to ask?

>> No.22696292

>>22692820
I don't know, man. You don't want her cybering with some creep, do you? Because that's what's going to happen.
Give her the upgrade, but don't pay for the wireless net access. She'll do just fine with a USB port so she can download books.

>> No.22696392

Maybe I'm just from a liberal family (not Japanese, though I wouldn't mind visiting, since I've heard they've managed to preserve a lot of the natural ecology; too bad about the whole "borders closed to everyone who isn't C-level in a corp" thing), but I got a neural interface suite installed as my 16th birthday present. I'd like to think I turned out fine.

>> No.22696639

>>22696392
You're on 4chan, so you didn't.

>> No.22696807

>>22689174

NEAR BELEAGURED

CYBERWARE IS AN ABOMINATION, ESPECIALLY THE KIND THAT INVOLVES CYBERBRAINS. IF YOUR DAUGHTER WAS ONE OF MY THRALLS I WOULD DEVOUR THE REMNANTS OF HER IDENTITY AND SEND HER BACK TO WORK IN THE MITHRIL MINES. UNFORTUNATELY I LEARNED THAT MANY OF MY READERS ARE INCAPABLE OF ENTHRALLING THE FEEBLE MINDED. IF YOU ARE SUCH A READER I PROPOSE HAMPERING HER MOBILITY THROUGH CUT OFF THE TUNNELS THAT LEAD OUT OF HER LIVING POOL.

-ABBY

>> No.22697163

>>22689174
You're one of those cyber-hating bigots, aren't you? Your "humanity" isn't lost with any of your feeble moist flesh-parts. In fact, I think people who choose to remain in the past, refusing to evolve are less human than cyborgs. We've never fought our evolution before, so why do it now?

This message was sent from my iMind.

>> No.22697209

>>22696807
Neo-luds Shitting up the board again. I am sick of this slide happening. i got my shit kicked in by these bastards and all i have is a couple of light tats.

>> No.22697255

>not recognising Abby the Aboleth
>the year of our lord, 2013
>we shiggidy

>> No.22697275

>>22696807
>>22697255

>> No.22697423

>>22697163
>he bought Apple cyberupgrades

>> No.22697474

>>22697423
>not using superior Mondas upgrades

>> No.22697483

>>22697474

>> No.22697502

>>22689203

Abby just hasn't been the same since FOX bought her column.

>> No.22697550

>>22689174
No offense, but I think people who augment are rejecting their own humanity

>> No.22697561

>>22697550
Is that supposed to be something negative?

>> No.22697645

>>22689174
B in B

As a fellow mother of a young girl I ask you to examine the positives. My girl got a new cybernetic hoo-ha a few months ago and I am loving it - let's just say the I/O can be controlled remotely if you have even a basic understanding of hacking ;)

Just make sure you get the user codes before the procedure

>> No.22697670

>>22697423
W-what are you trying to say? Apple offers the best cyberupgrades on the market! They put real love into their products... they really care about you! Ever since I had my iMind installed everything has been so clear and simple to me. The world makes sense now. We were all meant for Apple. We all deserve Apple. And Apple deserves us.

This message was sent from my iMind.

>> No.22697675

>>22689425
Kamina was a shitty hero.

>> No.22697771

>>22697670
I'm laughed so hard at this iFaggot I spilled my drink.

Fortunately as a Linuxian I have been assigned to live with my brothers in the sewers of the megapolis, so it didn't soil anything further and there were plenty of 'refills' nearby

>> No.22697774

Just fucking let her. As long as she isn't already fucked up in the head nothings going to happen.

>> No.22697850

Dear Abby died you fucks.

>> No.22697910

>>22697850
On the off chance you're actually serious and not just making a weak-ass attempt at trolling, her daughter took over writing the column years ago, so it's still fair game for comedy.

>> No.22698021

>>22697910
Yeah well she was like 94 and she died two days ago asshole. Have some fucking respect.

>> No.22698035

>>22697850
Someone hasn't seen the Dear Abby threads where Abby is an Aboleth.

>> No.22698052

>>22698021
Man is mortal. Deal with it.

>> No.22698057

>>22698021

>Respect for the dead
>On 4chan

Out, vile beast

>> No.22698188

>>22698021
Either everything is alright to make fun of, or nothing is.

Do you believe in censorship, anon?

>pic related, that anon

>> No.22698218

>>22698057
Sorry I thought /tg/ was better than /b/ or /pol/

>> No.22698243

>>22698218
It's you that is pulling us down to that level. Before your shitposting, there was an amusing thread about /tg/-related questions being sent to an advice column.

>> No.22698275 [DELETED] 

you should be sure she's gone through most of puberty (considering she's a girl she likely has)

if she hasn't the changes to her body could turn the cyberware into a significant discomfort in a few years, possibly resulting in a necessary removal or replacement which is still quite dangerous

I'm all for upgrading your body and personal liberty, as long as you keep it safe. Every time I see some 12 year old kid with an implant I wince a bit knowing what'll happen in 4 years

>> No.22698288

>>22698218
The dead are dead. Maybe we should look after the living?

>> No.22698311 [DELETED] 

>>22698052
I don't know man, I know this guy who's got a brother that works at one of them big biotech companies and he's dropped some hints they're getting very close to stopping cellular aging
Its all classified course but considering some of the crazy medical applications we've seen in the past few years I think there might be some truth to it

>> No.22698737

>>22689174
this is why I just copy/pasted my personality imprints into my child

>> No.22702137

>>22697645
What's she think about that then?

>> No.22704376

>>22698737
Isn't that... illegal?

>> No.22704484

>>22704376

Only if you get caught.

>> No.22704890

Dear Abby,
I was running some routine maintenance on my robot assistant (let's call him "George") yesterday. I needed him to say a few words so I could see if his vocabulator was functioning properly, and he asked "Mister Anon, is this unit alive?"
I didn't know what to say! I was so surprised - and, admittedly, scared - that I turned him off right then and there, and haven't brought him back online since.
What should I do?

>> No.22705485

>>22704890

DEAR NERVOUS,

ROBOTS ARE SIMPLY METAL THRALLS FOR NON ABOLETHS. I SUGGEST YOU USE YOUR PSYCHIC CONNECTION WITH YOUR THRALL TO PURGE ALL SENSE OF LIFE OR DEATH, LEAVING IT IN A STATE OF LIFELESS SERVITUDE.

-ABBY

>> No.22705522

>>22697675
He wasn't the hero, he was the mentor. Do you even heroes journey?

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