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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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[ERROR] No.22558766 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]


>> No.22558795

I told people not to use your lore in a CSM army listing thread.

Because honestly chief, your lore aint that great.

>> No.22558816

I bow to only one god, and it ain't you.

>> No.22558827

... Donald Pleasance?

>> No.22558861


>> No.22558864

Well, I know have an official voice for Tzeentch.

>> No.22558894


>> No.22558910

As long as you imagine Tzeentch with a voice that pause after every word then you are okay.

>> No.22558916

Almighty Darkseid has no allies, only servants.

>> No.22558921

Right, Donald it is then.

>> No.22558946


>> No.22558973

I was walking back from buying some snacks this evening when I ran into a couple of early teens gathering and doing something out in the yard of one of the houses. Now the two bags of food I am carrying home is for a immense munchies session in my house to celebrate the death of one of my housemates' and my own childhood enemies.

I saw these teens were bored and had nothing to do at all. So I walked up to them and gaven them one bag full of food, asked them if they could help me with something.

They immediately agreed because of the food I gave them. I asked them all to follow me to a house.

So I stroll down the main road to my house with twenty plus children behind me and more younger kids join in behind me due to the curious crowd.

I go to my house which has a big yard and I told them to sit there and share the snacks I gave them.

I go in and tell my housemates about what I did, thye tell me to do a piper. I run upstairs and get a old dingy trenchcoat (Apparently saw use in WWI by a German Oberleutenant. We found it in a garage sale, that is another story.)

Anyway I get my vuvuzela as well and go outside there are more kids there who were texted to appear.

So I tell them all that i am going to take them to a land where there is nothing but happiness and peace and that no one can stop them if they wanted to come. They all cheer as I march through the throng and out of my yard into the yard and roar to the skies!

The kids follow suit.

>> No.22558994

I read berserk all day!

>> No.22559023

Would that fit more with Khorne?

>> No.22559036

We flood into the street and march like a gang, I tell them to be belligerent and start making noise and they oblige, kids left and right are joining in as we walk past a park, parents look at this puzzled, they dont understand any of it.

I keep asking them to be free and do whatever they wanted.

Kids were jumping on cars, teens were kicking gates causing nuisance. I keep marching they keep following. I march toward the train station and the ever growing crowd just follow me.

By now there are some fifty young people behind me as we enter the station platform, just as we enter the 5:35 express to central city(50 minutes away) pulls up.

I tell them that the train will lead them there.

All the children get on the train without a question, I smile as they fill a compartment and the train moves, they wave at me as it leaves the station.

I walk away happy.

I dont know what happend to them or wether the train was stopped or they paid for it or anything.

I just did all this high and I am fucking sketching out about what happend to the kids.

>> No.22559040


But I reached the part of the loli witch! And Tzeentch loves magic doesn't he?

That loli witch is ruining the series for me

>> No.22559055

69,4 kilograms of 'fuck you'. Interested?

>> No.22559064


>> No.22559065

I want to see Slaanesh and Nurgle.

>> No.22559066

I delved into manuscripts so eldrich, that even words here sound like the madman`s whispers. I unearthed the truths that should not be spoken. I tried to found the meaning in the schemes, and found only chaos. And that chaos was Tzeench. Am i a worthy cultist, /tg/?
%%exams are hard%%

>> No.22559073

So i guess Khorne, Tzeentch and Slaanesh are happy you read that?

>> No.22559114

What do you want?

>> No.22559144


>> No.22559164

The fuck do you think I've done?

>> No.22559170

Sure. Hey, how are the others?

>> No.22559182


>> No.22559188


>> No.22559209

Wrong pic?

>> No.22559212 [SPOILER] 


>> No.22559223


>> No.22559241 [SPOILER] 

I was digging around in the old album, found something you might appreciate, a momento of our time together.

Don't you have somewhere you're supposed to be?

>> No.22559245

What...is...this...feeling...i...feel? I...feel...like...awww!

>> No.22559263

Who's the chaplain? Looks like a bro.

>> No.22559269


>> No.22559299

I knew you'd say that

>> No.22559302

aaaand I lost it

>> No.22559304


>> No.22559307

I don;t think he was ever named

>> No.22559318


>> No.22559327


>> No.22559338


>> No.22559349

Checkmate, and you don't even know why.

Guess that's game, same time next week, birdfuck?

>> No.22559353

Dat bulge. Unf.

>> No.22559362

Sucks. Do you know the artist of these?

>> No.22559366

Damn, he can even steal Tzeentch's words!

>> No.22559375


>> No.22559385

diss not the name of Mr. Culexus

>> No.22559388


>> No.22559401




>> No.22559428


>> No.22559438

That's kinda also because you're also the god of "WORK HARDER GUYS WE'RE NOT THERE YET", while he's the god of "NAH GUYS, 'SALL GOOD, JUST CHILL".

>> No.22559454

Or are you taking that form because my superior tactics led you to believe it was the best form for the occasion, thus leaving you open for me to imply that you are a birdfuck?

Check-checkmate, you're slipping badly.

>> No.22559471

Maybe...it's...not...the...end...of...the...world...but...i...can't...even...do...that...part...of...my...job...correctly! ;_;

>> No.22559476

Voi shet setrikaten, chowdak ereshet sikjas. Jj’jan fer gath, seyn voi c’shull myok tyed g’har j’den kyh tarejaa fa. Je kyh tarej guhun borosakel, d’kha jehlna, dooktath!

>> No.22559485


>> No.22559505

What? I don't understand you!

>> No.22559522

Of course you don't, because you lost. That's what happens when you use more ellipses than fucking Cable and Batman having an angst off.

See you tonight, sweetie, make sure to wear that skimpy little number I like.

>> No.22559537

>Not speaking the black tongue of chaos

>> No.22559538

Guys, i think Tzeentch is having an existantial crisis.

>> No.22559558

No he isnt. He is lying again. He is keeping you busy from interefereing on his intricate plans.

If you have something beside you that seems out of place knock it down or replace it, be paranoid for the next three days.

Tzeentch is out for you.

>> No.22559580


>> No.22559600


>> No.22559611

So, Creed... I don't know why you hate Tzeentch so much. Can you tell me why?

>> No.22559619

Who cares about Creed? A Grey Knight Chapter Master can have d3 scout units.

>> No.22559634

W..what? Who could have done such horrible changes to rules and completly fucked up the fluff? It would take some kind of spiritual liege to do that..

>> No.22559644

PAPA NURGLE, you are a bro

>> No.22559652

Am I needed? This party is really dull.

>> No.22559675


It's just getting started

>> No.22559677

Where IS Nurgle and the others? Tzeentch is really feeling like crap right now and he did say he has lost the ability to plan!

>> No.22559697

You have no idea Slaanesh... Tzeentch is having an actual existantial crisis so strong he can't plan anymore?

>> No.22559705

Go home Ward!

>> No.22559723


But I just made an army today that I really want to try out!

>> No.22559734

Nah, Ward's cool, he can stay.
A Warddex a day keeps the Cruddex at bay.

>> No.22559735

Oh...Hi. I...guess...you...are...to...laugh...at...the...failure...i...am.

>> No.22559750


>> No.22559755

Just don't cause trouble for Tzeentch. He is not feeling well at all on a emotional level.

>> No.22559757


O come off it, we all know Creed is Tzeench in disguise. And that Tzeench is really Eldrad.

>> No.22559767

You do realize that self-loathing is not going to do anything?

>> No.22559769

And that Eldrad is just a robot controlled by Creed.

>> No.22559775

What army are you talking about?

>> No.22559786

... I dunno.

>> No.22559800

I...guess...you...are...right. But...what...can...i...do?

>> No.22559803

With any luck, my Eldar

>> No.22559828


Show us your dicks.

>> No.22559835

Fuck a Nurgle girl.

>> No.22559838

Hey, Slaanesh? Someone say something in the black tongue of chaos? Could you translate it?

>> No.22559855

I liked you better with the penis.

>> No.22559871

There was another part to that thought, and that was that a dickless, mono-gendered Slaanesh with reasonable daemonettes that won't rape you with a giant crab claw might get more chaos converts.

>> No.22559880


Start planning more.

>> No.22559893

What does "Voi shet setrikaten, chowdak ereshet sikjas. Jj’jan fer gath, seyn voi c’shull myok tyed g’har j’den kyh tarejaa fa. Je kyh tarej guhun borosakel, d’kha jehlna, dooktath!" means? I don't understand!

>> No.22559901

I liked you better without the penis.

>> No.22559904



>> No.22559930

Look at this homosexual.

>> No.22559935

>prefers the vag to the dick
>is a fag
That's... I like exactly one dick to be involved when I have sex, namely my own. It's called heterosexuality. It's the opposite of being a fag.

>> No.22559940

I liked you better without the tits

>> No.22559950

Are you sure you're on the right board?

>> No.22559956

You have something in a little more of a... centaur, maybe? This whole futa thing just isn't doing it for me.

>> No.22559966

Do you want to be without a penis?
Do you want to be without tits?
Now that's an antique. That's one of the first languages ever spawned from Chaos, before me even. Sorry, no can do.

>> No.22559967

Right now? Yeah. Yeah, I think I am.

I'm the normalfag /tg/ deserves.

>> No.22559970

Yes. Get rid of both, please.

>> No.22559977

>implying implications

>> No.22559979

Rolled 17, 440, 141 = 598

TG needs no normal.

>> No.22559990

>the normalfag
>implying only one
try being the normalfag trying to find the one maledom thread on /d/ not flooded with futa.
It's often one of three threads on all of /d/ that didn't start specifically for futa

>> No.22560003

Try "pic below happens to you" threads. Sometimes they contain real gems.

>> No.22560021

The Normalfag is more than just a man. The Normalfag is a symbol.
Without Light, there could be no Shadow. Without "Normality", you would have no concept of "Deviancy". /tg/ NEEDS normalfags.

>> No.22560029

Can you tell me who might know what it means?

>> No.22560045

Porque no los dos? Two Slaaneshes, one female, one futa. Then everyone can be a heretic without any uncomfortable allegations regarding their orientation.

>> No.22560053


Slaanesh prefers male form, says so in Chaos Codex. Why can't you love a male Slaanesh?

>> No.22560067

Because I do not appreciate having dicks up my ass. Or up my dick. Or whatever Man-Slaaney wants to try.

>> No.22560070

Lets change the subject to something else so we can let the big guy have some fun witnessing some change. Lets start with all our loose change. Where does it go? Where does it come from? What sinister plots does it have in store for us?

>> No.22560072

But not the normalfag /tg/ needs.
>getting rid of most sensitive organs
Alright. You're now completely genderless. However, your skin is now sensitive enough to give you an erection...which you can't get. Denial of any sexual release will make you beg for me to help you.
Ask Tzeentch or Nurgle.
Too bad, that when most people draw Slaanesh they put more emphasis on the femininity. There is no male Slaanesh on the internet. Only herm or female(which is rare)

>> No.22560082

>Alright. You're now completely genderless. However, your skin is now sensitive enough to give you an erection...which you can't get. Denial of any sexual release will make you beg for me to help you.

That's my fetish, meaning I will never want your help. Thanks.

>> No.22560092

Put it in da butt.

>> No.22560095

Nothing that would please you, no.

I actually have a chaos deity, rather than a wannabe pretender.

>> No.22560103


>> No.22560112

Why would anyone worship an ugly sack of shit like you?

>> No.22560115

So, they'll hunt me, because I can take it, and that's not an invitation so don't get clever. Because I'm not their hero. I'm a silent guardian. A watchful protector. The Normalfag.

And I would definitely plow dickless Slaanesh.

>> No.22560129


And while you'll plowing dickless Slaanesh, he'll start ramming a dick through your dick.

>> No.22560138



>> No.22560150


Fear of death, need for love.

>> No.22560152

>because I can take it, and that's not an invitation so don't get clever
6/10 would giggle again,

>> No.22560153

Where did Tzeentch go, anyway?
Although, all that self-loathing makes me wonder whether it actually was Malal.
You now have a dildo in you butt. Taking it out causes heretical orgasms and slight daemonical corruption.

>> No.22560161


>> No.22560174

Can you help me Papa Nurgle? I was told that you might know how to translate things said in the black tongue of chaos.

>> No.22560178


You look like a swell fellow, my good man. Can I have a trinket to remember you by, like a ring?

>> No.22560193

True, I think Malal got drunk and pretended to be Tzeentch.

>> No.22560206


>> No.22560214

Just as planned

>> No.22560215

I'm actually curious, now... how would Slaanesh try to appeal to a normalfag interested in a loving, stable, monogamous relationship, engaging in safe and consensual sex and raising a small number of children in a wholesome and caring home?

>> No.22560217

Tzeentch, stop dancing about the bush like this and just tell Creed how you feel.

>> No.22560219

What does "Voi shet setrikaten, chowdak ereshet sikjas. Jj’jan fer gath, seyn voi c’shull myok tyed g’har j’den kyh tarejaa fa. Je kyh tarej guhun borosakel, d’kha jehlna, dooktath!" means

>> No.22560241

I think Slaanesh is also a god of love. I may be wrong though.

>> No.22560252


>> No.22560264

A small number of children is an affront to the emprah. Go make more bastard children who will grow up unloved and enlist in the Guard.

>> No.22560315


>> No.22560349



>> No.22560350

I don't think popping out babies with a cultist, daemonette, or chaos god would even be kosher with the big E, let alone putting them in the IG.

>> No.22560384

Every Chaos god has a positive side to them:
Khorne - Honor
Tzeentch - Hope
Slaanesh - Love
Nurgle - Life

>> No.22560397


Somebody didnt read his codexes.

>> No.22560407

Somebody didn't understand what he read.

>> No.22560418

Slaanesh is only the god of self-love. Sure, she can still love other people, but does so more for her sake than for theirs.

>> No.22560422

This is bullshit.

>> No.22560424

Or they combine into the perfect atrocity...

It- it was traumatizing...

>> No.22560438


Slaanesh is more like dedication.

>> No.22560444

they are always dead

also there are 2 cyphers.

one of us is alpha legion.

>> No.22560487

I guess it still fits the original question:
If the guy wanted to be the best dad that ever was, then of course Slaanesh would be behind that.

>> No.22560561 [SPOILER] 

>wanted to be the best that ever was

I knew there was something fishy about this guy.

>> No.22560572

>Slaanesh creates a daemonette specifically to be the tender, loving waifu of some random Guardsman
>Threatens to overrun an entire sector with cultists and daemons should they not be allowed to marry, raise children, and enjoy what passes for a "normal" civilian life in the GRIM DARKNESS of the future
>No further explanation given
>Nobody is quite sure what to do

>> No.22560592


>> No.22560601

Its is a vicious circle isn't it?

>> No.22560614

Irrational over-reaction is kind of the big thing to do among IoM leadership, so the kill the couple, and during the war, the sector.

>> No.22560645

>commits one continual act of heresy to save a sector of Imperial space and the humans living in it
Taking one for the team, I guess.

>> No.22560662

As in:

"Oops, the sector was a casualty in the war to purge 1732 Elm street."

. . . now that is GRIMDARK.

>> No.22560685

No, that's giving in to Chaos demands.
First, it's just one guardsman and a daemonette.
Then, it's two guardsmen and two daemonettes
Then, it's monthly sacrifice to dark gods
Before we know it, Imperium will worship Chaos

>> No.22560699

It would be hilarious if the guardsman spent all his time attempting to figure out when and how the daemonette was going to kill or corrupt him while the daemonette really was created to be honest and loving.

Of course, then it turns out that Slaanesh's real plan was to get a human-daemonette hybrid of great power that would be used to wipe out half the sector and three exodite eldar colonies, but that happens later

>> No.22560711

>Reasonable Marines say go for it
>Pretty Marines write poems about love in the midst of adversity
>Angry Marines say fuck it, let's blow up the entire planet
>Grey Knights agree, try to purge the whole sector
>Space Wolves throw ships at the Grey Knights in a drunken fury
>Inquisition sends in Sororitas
>Some Grey Knights turn some Sororitas into body paint against an "incursion" by ONE daemonette
>Because that's apparently their SOP
>Sororitas decide they've had enough of the Grey Knight's shit and join the Space Wolves
>Full-scale civil war
>The Guard and Daemonette aren't even on that planet anymore
>They're actually chilling with the AdMech, who just don't give a fuck about their filthy, fleshy desires
>Nobody knows who started what
>Tzeentch and Eldrad both try to claim credit
>Creed tries to claim that Tzeentch and Eldrad fighting over who gets credit was his plan all along

>> No.22560717

>this is what imperium actually believes
Does Imperium even true love?

>> No.22560722

Just be a tactical genius and promote the Guardsman to ambassador to the Tau (since he is a man capable of understanding thoughts unapproved by the Imperial Creed), move them to Tau space (or to a borderworld nobody cares about) and see what happens.

>> No.22560726

"In the new war for Cadia, all hangs in the balance as a mere guardsman must co-habatate with Daemon. Can he do it? Can he betray his empire to save it?"

Watch the thrilling story this fall: Nightmare on Elm street: 40,000

>> No.22560728

>Cegorach planned it all just to get Tzeentch, Eldrad and Creed in direct competition

>> No.22560746

>Across time and space, the Emperor of Mankind smiles mysteriously, as if silently giggling
>Nobody in the palace notices
>The Imperium will never know

>> No.22560750

I'd watch that show. "Grab your dick and double click for porn, porn, porn..."

>> No.22560764

I am now picturing Cegorach and Emps fistbumping in some hidden sector of the warp.

>> No.22560772

>Somewhere out there Slaanesh sees this and faps, while shlicking.

>> No.22560777

Compromising with the Ruinous Powers is a heretical act, no matter the circumstances. Heresy, even if committed with good intentions, is still heresy. Heresy committed in the name of the God-Emperor is an affront to Him and all His faithful and it will be purged from existence, because such is our duty.

>> No.22560781

Yes, they just don't trust chaos gods.

I personally see it as just a little experiment Slaanesh cooked up on a whim. Just to see whether true love can occur across warp and realspace.

>> No.22560790

The Emperor, the Eldar Gods and Goddesses, and the Chaos Gods are actually kind of tired of all this shit, and get together in the Eye of Terror for weekend poker games.

>> No.22560809

Actually, calling the Emperor a God should be considered an affront to him as well. He himself tried to teach people that there were no gods, only living beings. Admittedly powerful, but mortal and finite.

>> No.22560812

Honey, if you can't use some random act I've done recently to help your plans, you ain't the Chaos God I thought you were.

>> No.22560818

Slaanesh revived a bunch of Eldar gods ages ago, they just haven't told the Eldar yet because it's funnier this way, and Eldar aren't really at risk of extinction yet

>> No.22560863

>heretic detected
Yeah, you're obviously not a pious servant of Mankind's benevolent Lord. Someone will stop by to BLAM! you, in short.

>> No.22560875

It's not in his name, even. It's to protect human lives, which is somethign eh big E would appreciate.

Besides, he hesitated when it came to killing Horus, even after Horus himself had killed Sanguinus. Even he TRIED to be judicious when he felt the need, only slaying his son when he realized exactly how fucked in the head he was.

>> No.22560883

>in the GRIM DARKNESS of the future, the Gods are still jerks.

>> No.22560912

Which is why my penis has been disappearing recently. "She who is forgiven" and all that.

>> No.22561063

>50 kids on a train to gods-know-where and an awol leader

I... am.... pleased...

>> No.22561112

I was gonna say that.

>> No.22561130

You catholic?

>> No.22561169

such much heresy, so little time

>> No.22561233

Hello, commissar! How nice of you to join us. I call one of my daemonettes to give you a drink.

>> No.22561251

Lillithmon get out of here. No one wants to see a Necron's wetdream.

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