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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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[ERROR] No.21952980 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Let's do a "This is how I..." thread. But let's throw in a twist this time. After your "This is how I..." you write out a short quote you would use if/when you play it

This is how I Iron Kingdoms Gifted Arcane Mechanik/Field Mechanic

>Will you be a good little laborjack for mama? Yes you will, oh yes you will. Now sit up and let me have a look at you.

>> No.21952993

This is how I forgery.
>Nailed it.

>> No.21953016

This is how I DM
>Welcome to the D&D Next playtest, where the rules are made up and the rolls don't matter.

>> No.21953055

This is how I gunslinger.
>You bessst be on your way, ssstranger, we don't take kindly to your typesss around thessse partsss...

>> No.21953063

This is how I Paladin.
>Eh, just one more thing. If you used an immovable rod to bar the door on the ghost ship, why did it stay in place as the ship bobbed on the waves?

>> No.21953069


This is how I Half-Elf Cleric going into the Temple of Existential Evil.

>"There is still light within you, greater light than in all the shadows that surround this place. Just let the light pour from you, and no evil will dare lay a hand on you."

Also, goddamn, OP, are there enough tits in that picture?

>> No.21953089

rddt pls go

>> No.21953092


I think a boat gets a significant size modifier to a strength check to move something.

Seeing as, y'know, it's several tons of wood.

>> No.21953099

This is how I wizard.

>I frigging love Otto's spells.

>> No.21953111

You seem to be missing the concept of "Immovable".

>> No.21953126

>why did it stay in place instead of shooting off across space as quickly as the earth rotates?
Fixed that for you.

>> No.21953136

This is how I ranger.
> I swear it skittered over that way, if only I could've hit the damn thing.

>> No.21953137

>But wouldn't the hinges on the door give out, or it would slide to the side or away and let the door be opened.

>> No.21953149


>> If a creature pushes against an immovable rod, it must make a DC 30 Strength check to move the rod up to 10 feet in a single round.

Now if we're talking about a Truly Immovable Rod, then, well... yeah.

>> No.21953153

This is how I Rogue Trader.
>Do you know why I'm certain the outcome of this scuffle will be decidedly favorable to my interests, regardless of the variables you claim to be in your favor, dear xeno? No? Too bad, I thought you could give me a hint.
Maybe not short, but he just loves his own voice.

>> No.21953173

A: it's not earth.
B: it is immovable in relation to the feild of magic on the world that governs it.

>> No.21953182

>Why do any of them stay in the same spot on the earth as the crystal sphere bobs through the phlogiston?
Solution: It is immovable only with reference to one specific object, that being the largest object in a certain radius (probably about twice the average height of a hill giant).

>> No.21953203

This is how I Paladin.

>To dream, the impossible dream. To fight, the unbeatable foe. To try, when your arms are to weary. To run, where the brave dare not goooooooo!

>> No.21953204

This is how I barbarian.


>> No.21953220

What cartoon is this?

>> No.21953225

This is how I magic missile.

>This was the best. Plan. Ever.

>> No.21953226

This is how my players party
>And thats how we became kickass ninja heros

I love these guys, so glad when they try to min/max they get sidetracked by making characters.

>> No.21953259

>"Without a doubt, I owe my life to these two men and their bravery. Those guys came in when they had to know it was a losing battle. There was nobody else left to back them up. If they had not come in, I wouldn't have survived."

>"I never saw where they came from, but they had to come from the rear, otherwise I would have seen them approach. It was a surreal feeling. I mean it was like this awful situation that you just realized you're in is now suddenly over."

>Their actions were professional and deliberate to the point that they looked like they were planning a parking lot. They didn't seem alarmed the situation that we were in. It was just focused on the task, doing what they needed to do to improve our situation, and get through it, get us rescued. Whatever it is they needed to do.

>"When you get in a situation like that, I think pretty much without exception, what I've heard described as a feeling of I'm not fighting for my country anymore, I'm not fighting for my paycheck, I'm not fighting for the flag, I'm fighting for the guy next to me. I'm fighting for my comrades. I'm gonna do whatever it takes so that we get out of this alive. And uh, I've heard that said before, and that, that's what it boils down to.
>I mean when I went back in there, I went back in there because I knew the Rangers on the ground needed our help. When Randy and Gary came into my crash site they knew the chances were pretty good they wouldn't make it out alive, but they did it because they knew that if they didn't take action, we were gonna die. And that's why they did it. "

>> No.21953274

princess resurrection.
It's a cute little show about a guy and his sister working for a vampire princess with an android maid and various other classic themed monsters that show up. The dancing redhead is a werewolf.

>> No.21953287


>> No.21953293

>The dancing redhead is a werewolf.
Well. Now I HAVE to watch it.

>> No.21953304

This is how I Malkavian

>Like, I'm just so weird and kooky, y'know?

>> No.21953313

This is how I Chaotic Evil

>I took inspiration from a man called Xanatos. I win, or I win.

>> No.21953318

Rolled 5, 1, 16, 6, 2, 17, 20, 3, 4 = 74

This is how I post humanity
> In my past life I was a panther warrior

>> No.21953321

This is how I ranged combat.

>I never understood the point of "bull's eye". I mean, why bother aiming for it when the whole bull's gonna disappear anyways?

>> No.21953332


This is how I detective.

>Watson, come. The game is afoot!

>> No.21953352

fuckin' captcha

>> No.21953355


Well, someone doesn't know how the order of operations works.

>> No.21953364

The answer is actually 24.

Order of Operations.

>> No.21953365

I believe that would fall under, "This is how I Arcane Archer"

>> No.21953368

Someone doesn't know what a Factorial is, or what it does
>I win, or I win.

>> No.21953369

What part of "chaotic evil" didn't you get?

...I'm pretty sure it might be the former part, actually.

>> No.21953382

Doubles Ninja Strikes Again!

>> No.21953383

Some people need to learn what factorials are.

>> No.21953397

Factorial, bitches!
"4!" is actually "4x3x2x1", or 24.

>> No.21953402

That didnt occur in warpspace, so shut up you damn Squat.

>> No.21953417

Not him, but wouldn't anybody who knew what factorials are, and knew that the answer was either 4 or 24, probably be able to figure out that it was 24 anyway?

>> No.21953424

>>21953397 Exclamation points are a notation now?

Thats fucking stupid.

>> No.21953430

No they are. Look it up. I think they are mostly useful for calculating combinations or permutations or something.

>> No.21953441

They have been since Algebra II in high school.
Do you even math?

>> No.21953468

This is how I Chosen One.

> My father loved humanity and wished for it to be saved from the Great Old Ones who were his peers. He indulged in all the petty human vices of love, lust, marriage and family. When mother died, he returned to his star-body and swallowed the Earth whole, carrying us away like passengers on an incomprehensibly vast vessel.
>Now the children of men flee his awakening peers, and I am their king.

>> No.21953475

>Only learning about factorials in high school
Knew about 'em since middle school, get on my level. Good way to fuck with your teacher.
It's a trick answer, to attempt to lure people who DON'T know what factorials are into saying you're wrong so you can make them feel stupid.

>> No.21953485


>> No.21953498

Oh god, that is evil.

>> No.21953509

This is how I most things

>> No.21953524

This is how I Barbarian.

Disarming me ain't gonna help whatsoever.

>> No.21953531

This is how I NG Dwarf

>> No.21953547

This is how I summoner

>Rule number Pi. "It seemed like a good idea at the time" is no longer a valid excuse.

>> No.21953562

It's a good idea if your enemy is Hastur.

>> No.21953578

This is how a man asssassins.

>"A man shall do as he is bid to do."

>> No.21953610

This is how I bard

I learned abysal for two reasons. First, so nobody realized I had run out of lines and was making things up as I go. Second, to confuse the fuck out of our enemies.

>> No.21953661

This is how I physical adept.

>Hey, you forgot something.

>> No.21953671

This is how I Barbarian

>I'd worship Khorn if he wasn't such a pansy

>> No.21953677

That baby is adorable.

>> No.21953691

>Exclamation points are a notation now?

>Multiple scientists worked on this subject, but the principal inventors are J. Stirling in 1730 who gives the asymptotic formula after some work in collaboration with De Moivre, then Euler in 1751 and finally C. Kramp and Arbogast who introduces between 1808 and 1816 the actual notation: n!.
Factorials have been expressed with that notation for over 200 years now. What the fuck are you talking about?

>> No.21953701

This is how I rogue trader

>> No.21953721

you play like Vaas in a video game that just came out? How does it feel being weak willed?

>> No.21953757

This is how I Eldar Corsair.
>It is only to be expected of something such as you to be awestruck at my visage.

>> No.21953777

That's ironically edgy, I hope.

>> No.21953845

This is how I monk

>Yes I am drunk, but at least I won't have lost to a drunk tomorrow!

>> No.21953888

Dude, the basic gist of his characterization was like... half the E3 video from two years ago.

It also doesn't hurt that he's easily the most compelling character in the game. And that's saying a lot, surprisingly.

>> No.21953904

>implying implications

>> No.21953986

>dat pic
I just got found my next Rogue Trader & Co.

>> No.21954014

This is how I weapon specialist
*fifty appear on the horizon*

>> No.21954036

This is how I GURPS heroes

>You're playing ABC's Heroes, cept for the one in the cape who thinks he's silver age superman. Me and the kid'll handle this one

And then a Kamen Rider rip off and a teenage Rorshac rip off proceeded to fight off an alien kill team while the rest of the party tried to steal laser guns and planned what they'd do after we died horribly.

We didn't.

>> No.21954043

Forgot pic

>> No.21954213

This is how I Guardsman

>I require a battalion with sentinel support and as much napalm as the aquilas can carry. Then I'll be out of my office and you'll have your whole life to think twice about calling the Inquisition to clean up your messes

Really, you could point the character at a single heretical tome in a library that no one is messing with and he'd find a chance to make war just for the fuck of it.

>> No.21954232

But does he have the sheer compelling PRESENCE to truly be worthy of the comparison?

>> No.21954541

"I get the axes, I get the bronze. But daemons? Immortality? Bah, any man that can't bone up to his own mortality is still a Child. And he's gotten so..so...Emo recently. Blood? Rage? BYPRODUCTS. It's not about spilling blood, although there's plenty of that. It's not about rage because many don't get angry in a fight. It's about the FIGHTIN'. It's about taking everything you've got and throwing it into the fray just to see how far you get. Everything else is a distraction."

...yeah, my

>> No.21954557

Barbarian has issues with Khorn

>> No.21954590

This is how I Magician's Apprentice.

>> No.21954632

This is how I Prodigy AT Tactician.

>"You grownups never bothered to warn me about the dangers of synchronization, why act so surprised that I'm returning the favor?"

>> No.21954663

This is how I Rouge

>> No.21954674

The amazing part is that he actually does. A lot of it just comes down to the fact that he's a half psychotic noble who lead a penal legion before the Inquisition picked him up.

My favorite part is simply starting off nice and business like before escalating to full scale war as quickly as you can

>> No.21954713

So you really ARE playing Balalaika with a dick.
Fun fact, "Balalaika" is the name of a Russian stringed instrument. The SVD Dragunov marksman rifle is nicknamed "The Balalaika". So yeah, she's named after both a stringed instrument AND the rifle that she is fucking terrifying with.

>> No.21954719

One of the players sort of figured out what I was going for when I started running shit like a cartel.

Never trust anyone whose operation gets referred to as "Hotel Savlar"

>> No.21954772

Sort of... Sadly there was no Inquisition for Balalika to take advantage of. I think she would have enjoyed using them to finance her plans as much as I do.

The trick is to kill enough heretics that no one minds you lining your pockets with thrones on the side.

It is better to have the devil for a right hand than to be in his path.

>> No.21954800

This is how I Wizard


>> No.21954857

>Die for me yellow
I don't get it.

>> No.21954884

Yellow is clearly the name of the party member the wizard has been consistently fucking with/experimenting on. All good wizards save the most painful and humiliating shenanigans for a single butt monkey.

>> No.21954910

The Yellow bastard in Magicka well he's not exactly the luckiest of fellows.

>> No.21954912

This is how I deal with PC deaths

"Get in the fucking bag."
Honestly what else did you expect

>> No.21954926

You're wrong, but I like that idea

>> No.21955165

This is how I gunslinger.
>"I'm your huckleberry."

>> No.21955190

>middle school
try second grade, motherfucker

>> No.21955218


>> No.21955627

This is how I sorceror

"Fireballs solve EVERYTHING"

>> No.21955680

This is how I wizard

History records me as saying "Your knowledge of death is but a pale shadow before me. Now suffer for your foolishness."

History is paraphrasing. What I actually said was "fuckfuckfuckfuckFuckFuckFUCKFUCK"

>> No.21955701

This is how I female wizard.

>> No.21955833


Harry Dresden does not wear a hat.

>> No.21955836

Colonel, you've be drinking, right?

>> No.21955904

Dunwhich horror?

>> No.21955907

This is how I Paladin.

>"You surrender? Lich, I gave you a chance to surrender before I drew my blades. You should have listened."

>> No.21955925

But he does on the covers, which gets people confused.

And in the new book he wears a hat for a while.It's a Cincinnati Reds hat he stole from the Redcap.

>> No.21955935

This is how I Level 20 Shopkeeper

>> No.21955965

Fuckin' protestant bastards.

>> No.21955981

This is how I deal with Chaotic Neutral Rogue

>> No.21956008

>Ever giving anything a chance to surrender EVER
Protestant heathen detected.

>> No.21956029

This is how Barbarian.

>> No.21956058

Not used to actually seeing spoiler tags used to hide spoilers. Fuck. Good thing I don't know the context.

>> No.21956154

This is how I play any minmaxed wizard or int-based caster without any significant ammount of charisma or wisdom.


>> No.21956230

This is how I Feudal World Pskyer

>Everyone else: "So how do we find the missing people?"
>Me: I say we use magic.
>Everyone else: "NOOOOOOOOOOOO"
>Me: You guys never let me use magic
>Everyone else: Last time you used magic the guardsman and cleric switched bodies!
>Me: And I hear they had a simply wondeful evening.

>> No.21956235

this is how i intelligent magic item


>> No.21956238

I just realised this is actually right because of the exclamation mark.


>> No.21956567


This is how i 2E

>> No.21956661

This is how I WoD


>> No.21956740

This is how I BBEG


>> No.21956803

The only context anyone should need: The 14th one is out, it's awesome, go read it. Actually, don't go read it, James Marsters is back and in full quality, so go listen to it instead.

>> No.21956842

>James Marsters is back
If the laws of nature allowed it I would bear that man's voice's children.
>Oh. Oh, it's on the back of his neck. Fuck.

>> No.21956895

Jaegerkin style.

One of these days you've got to tell me the story behind that one

>> No.21956897

I used the knife. I saved a child. I won a war. God forgive me.

>> No.21957064


>> No.21957184

This is how I fire elemental

> From this corner of the continent of the other I shall burn every inch of land. I shall turn civilizations to ash, dynasties to cinders, countries to smoking remains, and marshmallows to delicious burnt goo.

>> No.21957224

This is how I necromancer
>I've got friends on the other side.

>> No.21957244

This is how I chaotic good Barbarian.

"All ahm saying is peace and love is where it's at. But some people, they don't agree. And ya can try, and try to talk 'em into it, but sometimes, it's better to just pull 'em outta the pool before they start shitting it up for everyone else."

>> No.21957351

This is how I Mindflaya.

>> No.21957352

Not vampire. Phoenix.

There is a vampire though.

>> No.21957411

This is how I roll

>Naaaa-nananana na na na-nanana-nana na nanan naaaaaaaaa

>> No.21957448

This is how I magic-using quest-giver.

>"Take chances! Make mistakes! GET MESSY!"

>> No.21957465

ah god-damnit . . . final got that song out of my head and then you had to go post that

>> No.21957470

This is how I wizard

>I see u checkin' out my sack.

>> No.21957493

This is how I GM.

>Go ahead, let's make that 18 a 20, it'll be our little secret.

>> No.21957499

I love you.

>> No.21957542

This is how I rogue.

>Suck gas, evil doers! I am the cheese that falls out of your sandwich. I am the rain that falls on your picnic. I... AM THE TERROR THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT!
>aren't you supposed to be stealthy
>go away kid, ya bother me

>> No.21957571

This is how I Paladin.

>Anyone who truly seeks redemption deserves the chance to do so, perhaps you will realize this someday.

>> No.21957577

I want you in my life.

>> No.21957608


>> No.21957611

This is how I Skilled Rifleman/Ranger.

>“I did what I was told to as well as I could.”

>> No.21957632


>> No.21957660


>> No.21957673

This is how I bard.

>Nothing can happen till you swing the bat.

>> No.21957679

I hate you

>> No.21957706

This is how I party healer.
>"I am here to teach you how to heal yourself, sharing the secrets the Religions do not want you to know!"

>> No.21957709

This is how I Paladin in post-WW1 Pulp Europe

>"Look doctor, I don't need to know how it works. You tell me it'll set a Nazi on fire from fifty paces and blimey, that's jolly well good enough for me."

>> No.21957729

It would technically be -4 if using a standard PEMDAS order of operations, but using factorials its right.

>> No.21957774

this is how i barbarian

>I find your wolfish grin... unsettling.

>> No.21957781


>> No.21957787

The Lich was christened as a Catholic. He didn't have a choice in allowing surrender.

>> No.21957799

You are my friend.

>> No.21957846

Pillows thread?

>> No.21957853

This is how I craft 'Disturbing Mental Image'.

>> No.21957878

This is how I Nurgle Cultist.

> Pustu... pustul... pustulant day folks.

>> No.21957896

"azula, would you like to know why they call me the dragon of the west?"

>> No.21957909

This is how I Knowledge and Destruction Ardent

>"I don't want you to die just yet, I want to see how you react. I want to see your insides moving as I take them out and beat you with them, for the sake of science of course."

>> No.21957912

Oh I'd be happy to let you tell me all about it.

>> No.21957938

This is how I Lawful Good.

>> No.21957985

This is how I BBEG.

>> No.21958009

Funny, that's how I Cleric.

>> No.21958028

Holy crap you're right. I never realized just how much of a Paladin Iroh is.

>"Jhou! Anything you do to that spirit, I'll unleash on you, ten-fold! LET IT GO!"

>> No.21958110

This is how I Kobold Magus.

>"People ask why me not sneaky like other kobolds, why me rush at big mans with sharp sword and magic. I says I is sneakiest, because I fooled even me into thinking I is tough. If you wanna try and out-fool a kobold....is your funeral."

>> No.21958140

THIS is how to BBEG.

>> No.21958179

Thats some Ork level logic right there.

>> No.21958202

This is how I kobold.

>> No.21958250

... is that an Army of Darkness reference?

>> No.21958253

So THATS why Kobolds are evil fucks, because their god is a useless bitch who spoils them.

>Lawful Good for life, ya hear?

>> No.21958285

>Iton Obokakgos, Fish Cleaner cancels Weave Thread into Cloth: Needs 15000 collected rock thread.
>Weave Thread into Cloth: Needs 15000 collected rock thread.
>Needs 15000 collected rock thread.
>15000 collected rock thread.
>collected rock thread.
>rock... thread...

I'm sorry what?

>> No.21958303

>And you wondered why they were so motivated

>> No.21958325


>> No.21958328


>Live in holes in the ground, forced to use leather scraps for armor and slag iron for tools
>Live in a sprawling city growing fat on the spoils of a dozen conquered nations

Murderhobo detected.

>> No.21958336

>spoils them
Yeah tell yourself that next time we go all Vietcong on you and your buddies in one of our tunnels bitch.

>> No.21958372

>Dwarves are about same size
>Also live underground
>Welcome in civilized society due to their intelligence and virtue.
>Refusing to believe that Kobolds can join civilization at any time, they just have to JUSTICE the fuck up.

>> No.21958436


Dwarves, Halflings, Elves, Gnomes, and Half orcs and Half Elves all have one thing in common: They look kind of human.

>TFW you realize that fantasy human justice is a thinly veiled justification for rampant speciesism.

>> No.21958447

this is how i hide

>> No.21958470

KIDF, plz go

>> No.21958475

>First I don't get it.
>Mfw I notice.

>> No.21958478

>Metallic dragons, Angels, Warforged, Devas, and even motherfucking Tieflings are somewhat welcome in human society.
>Still thinks I'm just being racist.
>Haha no.

>> No.21958490

This is how I artificer
The video basically is the quote.

>> No.21958491

This is how I ranged fighter.

>"Pop pop pop, watchin' wizards drop."

>> No.21958549

should have spoilered that...

>This is how I saving throw

>> No.21958570

Metallic Dragons and Angels are accepted in the sense that they could destroy a township without effort and the former in fact has a goddamned aura of fear. Warforged and Tieflings are "accepted" like blacks were accepted in 1920s America. Devas look like very pretty humans with odd skin tone. Try again.

>> No.21958598

>this is how i wild empathy check

>> No.21958618

And yet Kobolds aren't even accepted as second class citizens? The reason they don't join society has nothing to do with their small size or fuckugly appearance, tons of other races are short or ugly. Hell, even an Orc is a somewhat welcome member of society if he does something useful and doesn't spend his time muccin about. The reason most kobolds aren't part of civilization isn't because of their appearence, its because most kobolds are thieves, cheats, liars, and killers.

The existence of just kobolds being welcomed by society disproves your argument entirely. To prove it, here's a kobold paladin.
>Hero of Civilization.

>> No.21958637

This is how I Bard

And my quote is this video

>> No.21958651

This is how I Deadlands

>"Well, it ain't gonna be me!"
Death of the entire party soon to follow.

>> No.21958695

This is how I BBEG as a bard
>his music video has been viewed, since release, over:
>43,592,159 times per week
>259,477 per hour
>4,325 times per minute
>73 times per second
>fascinate + Mass suggestion = greatest BBEG ever
>Oppa Tyrant Style

>> No.21958827

This is how I get through DMing.

>"Really? You want to roll to seduce the queen, in front of the King, while taking your pants off and beinging to thrust your hips... Ok."

>> No.21958939

This is how I DM.

>> No.21959708

Such potential, wasted. I think it was rushed development or something?

>> No.21959759

this is how I wizard


>> No.21959777

It has it flaws but it's still a wonderful game. The real tragedy is the company closed down so no sequel.

>> No.21959792

>See cover art.
>Hear main-menu theme in my head.

>> No.21959794

Hey, that game was alright!

>> No.21959832

I never said the game was BAD. It just could have been so much more!

>> No.21959923

This is how I Swashbuckler

>Unhand me, Sir.

>> No.21959940

This seems to be how I face, I don't know what that says about me.

>Wont you please let me look at the secret weapon?

>> No.21959957

This is how I Chaotic Neutral.

>And they called me CRAZY!

>> No.21959977

This is how I DM CoC

>here is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call the Twilight Zone.

>> No.21959987

>Temple of Existential Evil.

Not Elemental Evil?

>> No.21959990

>that manga

This is how I bard.

>> No.21960627

Osborn is clearly the Rogue Trader in that pic, but who are the others? The guy on his left is definitely the psyker, but who are the other guys?

>> No.21960639

I had to look that up too. apparently its a real thing.

>> No.21963919

This is how I warlord.

>Inhuman? Son, humans didn't get to the top of the food chain by holding hands and singing kumbyah.

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