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21878588 No.21878588 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

A genie appears and offers to give you 20 ranks in any 3.5e skill of your choice.

Caveats: Knowledge skills like knowledge arcane will only give you knowledge that are applicable to the real world. So you won't learn how to do magic but you will be able to identify hokey rituals and what not that don't actually function.

He also tells you that if you don't choose any skill you don't have to be clever and announce it you can just walk away. He's heard it before and you're not funny and yes he knows he's a dick.

What skill do you choose and why?

>> No.21878638


Iajatsu Focus.

>4d6 damage to any target I can draw down on
>Standard commoners ~ 4HP.

>> No.21878642

>but you will be able to identify hokey rituals and what not that don't actually function.

So, uh, all of them? Wow, guess I've got 20 ranks in Know(Arcane) already!

Serious answer: Probably Profession (something I can do from a computer) or Disguise. The former because it lets me generically "do stuff" for a fair amount of money every week. The latter because taking 20 sets the DC to 40, which would let me disguise myself as a woman so well that the average bloke can't even tell I'm a man after I'm naked (his +10 for Intimate vs my DC40-2 for gender)

>> No.21878662

Stealth. So I can do the creep without being noticed.

>> No.21878676


What was the DC for crawling into a butthole again?

>> No.21878701

Sounds like an Epic escape artist check. So much higher than 20.

>> No.21878710


>> No.21878712

Bluff. Bluff can get you through a shitload of situations, and my natural Charisma penalty won't matter much at 20 ranks.

>> No.21878723

Use rope
Escape artist
Sleight of hand
Move silent
Open lock

>> No.21878738


>> No.21878761

Diplomacy. At +20, I can move anyone 2 stages (3 on a good roll) on the chart of hostile/unfriendly/indifferent/friendly/helpful/fanatical in a single interaction.

>> No.21878773



Anyone is my bro, and if they already like me? Putting on my charm will do wonders.

>> No.21878777

20 Ranks in jump would be insane

>> No.21878806


Mario? Is that you?

>> No.21878827


Is there a skill for performing on a musical instrument? Because that, instantly. I'd go from decent pianist to fucking Richter in three seconds and never look back.

>> No.21878830

Probably sleight of hand so I could steal shit. Or hide, open locks. All so I could steal shit.

>> No.21878839

Perform (Stringed) or Craft (Wordsmithing)

>> No.21878856

Yea you can choose profession then the instrument

>> No.21878865

Perform (Insert instrument here)

>> No.21878871

Perform (Keyboard), it covers everything with a keyboard so I guess you could make electronic and dubstep crap too

>> No.21878891

Act (comedy, drama, mime)
Comedy (buffoonery, limericks, joke-telling)
Dance (ballet, waltz, jig)
Keyboard instruments (harpsichord, piano, pipe organ)
Oratory (epic, ode, storytelling)
Percussion instruments (bells, chimes, drums, gong)
String instruments (fiddle, harp, lute, mandolin)
Wind instruments (flute, pan pipes, recorder, shawm, trumpet)
Sing (ballad, chant, melody)

>> No.21878912

I'm surprised more people aren't going for diplomacy. It's objectively the best option.

>> No.21878934

because diplomancers are faggots and no one wants to be one

>> No.21878937
File: 191 KB, 700x525, 1323952666799.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Diplomacy, of course.

>making friends and getting bitches

Why have skills when you can have friends with skills instead?

>> No.21878960

Diplomancers are only considered faggots because you can't normally roll diplomacy on meta arguments.

>> No.21878964

What this demonstrates is more that the roleplay skills are just broken in scope and ability.

Really, persuasiveness is not the same skill as sincerity, which is not the same as empathy, which is not the same as deceit, which is not the same as bluff.

But no one would want to play a game where you had 7 or 8 different social skills (though, at least, they'd grant synergy bonuses)
So instead they make a single skill, which does all of that, which, like "Athletics" in some systems covers such a broad category that you'd be a moron not to take it.

>> No.21879004

Either Slight of Hand, Speak Language, or Craft: Program.

Possibly Sense Motive.

Now that I think about it, Speak Language.
To bad I can't make checks to learn another language or stuff. One of the things Pathfinder actually improved.

>> No.21879011


>Improve someone's behavior to you to be buddies
>Busk for a few hours half-assedly, making 1d6 gold coin value (~$1000/check) and have a nation-wide reputation.

Yeah. It would be horrible.

>> No.21879025

The obvious choice is Speak Language. I'd speak 21 languages and it would be fantastic.

If some fag says that doesn't count I choose Diplomacy.

>> No.21879059


>Choose a skill available through Rosetta Stone and not being lazy
>Not becoming epic rock god, master craftsman, slick con artist, ultimate liar, man of 1000 faces, or punch through a ribcage with a set of keys

Oh poor, silly anon.

>> No.21879075


If I can convince other people to use their skills to my ends it's like I have all the skillz.

>> No.21879083

>Instantly learning 20 languages, like Ancient Sumerian, or Ze-Volah.
>Becoming the most famous person ever in Linguistic Archaeology circles.

>> No.21879098


>Not being able to verify what you say because no one else knows them
>Not having the ability to read/write said languages

You're just some dude who speaks gibberish. Good job!

>> No.21879109

Bitches swoon when I flirt in Sumerian.

>> No.21879123

Use rope, everyday.

>> No.21879128

>"What does that mean?"
>"Oh, I want to spray my water of life all over your clay strewn garden"
>Slap to the face, kick to the garden hose

>> No.21879134

Unless you're a barbarian, you automatically get the ability to read and write the languages you get with the skill.

>> No.21879156

>Speak Language includes the ability to Read/Write the languages you know.
A number of people know them, we just don't know what they would sound like. We can assume that skills given by a magical genie would use the original, but even if not, you still choose some standard modern ones and get a nice job as a UN/whatever interpreter.

Also, grab a few programming languages to round out.

>> No.21879159
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>Believing we playing D&D
>Oh no, no, NO.

>> No.21879192

The OP specified 3.5e.

d20 Modern is not that.

>> No.21879194
File: 59 KB, 433x650, Thatcher.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>d20 modern is 3.5e

>> No.21879239


Yes. And by the rules of the game we're playing you receive exactly 20 ranks in one skill.

Choosing Speak or R/W language would net you 40 ranks, breaking the rules behind the wish.

>> No.21879271

The OP clearly states that you are granted 20 ranks in a 3.5e skill, not in that you receive 20 ranks in a skill and then translate it into the nearest d20 modern equivalent.
Plus, we are obviously playing nWoD.

>> No.21879281

You're kind of dumb, aren't you?

>A literate character (anyone but a barbarian who has not spent skill points to become literate) can read and write any language she speaks. Each language has an alphabet, though sometimes several spoken languages share a single alphabet.

It's not two skills, it's one.

>> No.21879302


But you're still receiving 'ranks' in one or the other skill.

And receiving your skills from the most dickish creature in the game and expecting no interpretation that doesn't fuck with you?

>> No.21879337

It's not two skills. It's one skill that gives you the ability to speak, read, and write a different language with each rank you purchase.

>> No.21879341


Guys guys guys.

You're all faggots.

Choosing to be the greatest linguistic expert in the world is great and all.

But making millions of dollars, having every person you meet bend to your knee, having Olympian levels of jumping, or laughingly climbing Everest with your bare hands tops all of your semantic faggotry.

>> No.21879354

Yes, but the Skill isn't the d20 modern version, otherwise it would be "Any Skill from d20 modern."
It's from 3.5e.

Also, you aren't receiving ranks in one or the other skill, you are receiving ranks in one skill as described by 3.5e, not d20 modern.

>> No.21879371
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>gain 20 ranks in diplomacy
>actually win arguments on the internet

>> No.21879383

>>actually win arguments on the internet
Everyone knows that's a DC 200, anon.

>> No.21879398

>Craft: Program.

Fucking genius
Craft - Magic ritual
Perform - Technomancery

These are good ideas

>> No.21879426


>Believing he is not a classless barbarian by the standards of Bob the Genie
>Believing that people who cannot even agree over known translations of texts without epileptic fits would believe "guys, I know ancient Sumerian!"
>Wasting gifts from the Powers That Be to be even more nerdy

Oh /tg/. Never change.

>> No.21879430

Would Craft: Program give you the ability to write programs though?
Or would you have to already have the linguistic skill?
Or I suppose you could just randomly type and take 20, to craft programs of astounding daring do.

>> No.21879449

>Believing he is not a classless barbarian by the standards of Bob the Genie

He knows how to read/write english
So even if he was he'd still have spent skill points to do so

>> No.21879452


There's the big problem, nobody in the academic community will believe your knowledge came from a genie, and I don't think you'd be able to make claims for uncovering meanings and words out of thin air no matter what you do.

Best to take diplomacy and use it to diplomance girls into threesomes.

>> No.21879472

Could you diplomacy mothers and daughters into threesomes?

>> No.21879485

Pssh, who the hell pays for language learning material when there's enough of it for free in the hands of shady Uzbeks to last a hundred lifetimes? http://www.uz-translations.net/index.php

Besides, many polyglots who aren't savants report taking at least 3 months to get a handle on a new language. You lose 5 years of your life to study and that is assuming you have near perfect focus.

Yeah, it's obviously far from the best choice and 21 languages isn't setting any records (UN translation chief has something like 33 under his belt) but I could think of worse things to pick.

>> No.21879518


I'm the guy who posted about Speak Language first. I already speak English. Here is what I would get:

Norwegian (most mutual intelligibility between scandanavian languages)
Squamish (native language from Vancouver, BC, which is where I live. Could help some cool natives not lose their language, plus I would get all the hot liberal arts bitches once they hear I spent 'hours' studying up on this practically dead language)

>> No.21879532

You guys realize it's only 10 languages because each language requires 2 skillpoints to learn right? Not 1 point to speak and 1 point to read. 2 points to learn at all.

>> No.21879540
File: 499 KB, 500x375, feel like dancing.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>Language Skills
>Not learning Use Rope and being the greatest rapemancer of all time
>mfw reading "the indestructible cable had to be removed through use of the Jaws of Life

>> No.21879552

>Not choosing forgery and literally printing money.

>> No.21879553


>> No.21879569

I would cut some of those European Languages, since once you know Latin and two or three others, it's a walk in the park, mostly (Entirely subjective of course).
Grab another 'native' language, and a programming language or, better yet, Binary, just to fuck with yourself.

>> No.21879571

>forgery opposed by forgery
>You could take 20 on forging a document with someones name on it, they can read it and go. Huh thats my signature

>> No.21879606
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>Not realizing Speak Language is a cross class skill

>> No.21879609

Most knowledge skills would lend themselves to a successful path in at least one interesting career, so probably one of those.

Profession, Craft, Speak Language, and Perform are similarly practical.

If I were in a more daring mood at the time, though, I'd totally take something Survival, or maybe even Sense Motive.

>> No.21879611

The genie straight up gives you 20 ranks though.

>> No.21879614

Now that I think of it though, you might be able to score a cushy translation job at the CIA or a similar intelligence agency. The CIA apparently teaches 16 separate languages and you've already picked a good bunch of them, just swap out for the rest and you could teach the translators for secret agents. Have fun knowing state secrets and having the power to spill the beans to 16 different factions in exchange for huge sums of money and living your life on the run.

>> No.21879642


>> No.21879649


Why would they give the teachers of their languages secrets? Seems like you'd just be doing normal teaching to a select audience who are trained to never, ever tell you anything about what they're up to.

...seriously, why is this linguist general? Diplomancy!

>> No.21879666

I just realized that 20 in Sense Motive would make a damn good lawyer.

>> No.21879674


>Fuck your girlfriend's sister in front of her
>Spend one minute talking
>Everything's find
>One more minute

The man makes sense.

>> No.21879675

Sure but 20 in diplomacy would make a better one if we're talking court lawyers.

>> No.21879687

I originally didn't have French or Portuguese in there, but I legitimately couldn't find many others I wanted.

Okay I take out French and Portuguese and replaced with Uzbek and Vietnamese.

>> No.21879688

Diplomacy. It just so fucking helpful.

>> No.21879690


>even having to stop fucking the other girl instead of just winking and beckoning her over

>> No.21879705

>20 in Sense Motive would make a damn good lawyer.
You're thinkin' smalltime.
With 20 in Sense Motive, you just need to learn a foreign language and get the clearance, and you can be an analyst for the CIA. Pick a language spoken in a country whose television you enjoy, 'cause that's what analysts spend most of their time doing. Watching the TV, reading the magazines and newspapers, that shit.

>> No.21879706


Diplomacy is difficult when you're in a threatened space.

>> No.21879725

Autohypnosis (Wis; Trained Only)

You have trained your mind to gain mastery over your body and the mind’s own deepest capabilities.

The DC and the effect of a successful check depend on the task you attempt.
Task DC
Ignore caltrop wound 18
Memorize 15
Resist dying 20
Resist fear Fear effect DC
Tolerate poison Poison’s DC
Willpower 20
Ignore Caltrop Wound

None. Making an Autohypnosis check doesn’t require an action; it is either a free action (when attempted reactively) or part of another action (when attempted actively).
Try Again

Yes, for memorize and willpower uses, though a success doesn’t cancel the effects of a previous failure. No for the other uses.

Oh hi /tg/ Psionics here again, Why dont you join the psionic master race?

<spoiler>Man PSionics are so OP!

>> No.21879787
File: 56 KB, 617x409, Hey sexy lady.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Perform (K-Pop)

Hey, sexy lady...

>> No.21879810


Oh fuck.

Everything about that fad only makes sense if he found OP's genie.

>> No.21879819

Dunno. Maybe you'd be a department head. That guy I mentioned at the UN is more or less the head of the translation staff and is privy to state secrets. Shouldn't have mentioned the teaching thing except to indicate that you'd be extremely qualified and could possibly get to lead the department.

Anyways, I never said I picked languages, I was playing the devil's advocate for why it could not-suck - fucking autohypnosis is where it's at. You get to be goddamn Rasputin and RESIST DYING.

>> No.21879820


>Able to memorize a couple pages of text
>Not making thousands of dollars/day or manipulating world culture through your speeches

Psionic master race? Truly?

>> No.21879838

It's a catchy tune with a good beat and an English-language chorus, of course it caught on. It's also a biting social satire of the vapid lifestyle of the residents of Seoul's Gangnam district, but that flies right over the heads of the average American listener.

>> No.21879886

Also, the video is hilariously over-the-top, whether you catch the social satire or not.

And it's a dance craze that I can actually do.

>> No.21879910

>Not being able to do Thriller
Hand over your 'murrican card right now, faggot.

>> No.21879948


There's no denying it's an incredibly well-crafted song/video. I'm just saying the level of craftsmanship might have a genie behind it.


>not being able to do the Dinosaur

>> No.21880001

>Implying I can't

>> No.21880126
File: 3.04 MB, 320x240, challenge presented.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


I implied nothing.

Without further evidence, I, an Anonymous person on the Internet, refuse to believe you can do the Dinosaur.

Balls in your court.

>> No.21880408


I'll be the best doctor ever born. My name will go down in history as a master of medicine, surgery and psychology, and one of the most important figures ever to live. Before I die, I would revolutionise medicine. Cure cancer, cure aging, cure every genetic disorder, and then, when I am old, with years of experience and have earned the respect of my peers, I'll gather together the people who I have worked with throughout my life, masters in every field, and we'll cure death.

>> No.21880474


>Believing 20 ranks in Heal does shit beyond curing some simple diseases with patients under your care.

Remember, you have to do the work. Even if you were Best Cancer Doctor, it is you (not your tools, writings, etc.) that do the work.

You have the most skilled bedside manner in history.

>> No.21880559


Good luck during the apocalypse suckers. I'll be living like a kind in the deep woods and hunting men like rabbits.

You throw a cigarette butt out your car window I know where you are and what your traveling speed is.

>> No.21880578

There is no knowledge(medicine) skill, so I figure heal includes knowledge of how to treat diseases and ailments too.

Current cancer survival rates are basically dead on 50%, right? Assuming everyone counts as a level 1 commoner, which means it must be a DC 10 check. I have 20 ranks, which basically means I have a 100% survival rate in my treatment of cancer patients.

We can in turn deduce that I know how to cure cancer from this.

>> No.21880604

That's something of a stretch, but then again >>21880474 is an idiot who refuses to actually look at the skill being discussed before spouting his opinion.

>> No.21880617


You can assist with the treatment of a disease.

But you never, ever gain the ability to actually pass that information without training 17th level Physicians.

>> No.21880646


Part of the game here is the application of these skills to reality, divorced of the 'game' as it were.

It stands to reason that a team of medical researchers watching his techniques for a few years could deduce something new.

Alternately, it could be that he administers standard anti-cancer treatments and in his hands they all just work like a charm.

>> No.21880673

>You know how to cure the disease but you can't explain it

This is bullshit. If I have a 100% surefire way of curing disease X, why can I not tell people how I do it?

>> No.21880686


So by studying the practice of an application you can become as good as the observed magically enhanced man?

The ability to perform that skill is tied to the character using it. Otherwise I could just sit at the orchestra for a few years and then play all of the instruments.

Heal just covers an individual treating the illness/injury.

>> No.21880705


The debate is whether that is the result of a new technique (which could be deduced by researchers) or simply incredible skill (and a bit of luck) at applying existing treatments.

Even if the latter proves to be true, that Anon would still save countless lives. Kinda makes me feel bad I went straight for diplomacy.

>> No.21880717

Sure, because you've just spent several years at an orchestra and gained some ranks in perform(Instrument here).

>> No.21880720
File: 30 KB, 445x300, tom-cruise-laughing.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>people not saying Perform (act)

>> No.21880751

Is locate:mineral an option?

If so, I'm going gold-sniffing.

>> No.21880755

>Implying Tom Cruise has any ranks in Perform (act)

>> No.21880761

And I am safe from muggers as long as my silver tongue is usable.

>> No.21880798

Diplomacy. It would give me the power to actually change the world. I'll make it better.

>> No.21880810

Forgery has too many conditional modifiers. Also, a lot of it has been worked around by technology.

>> No.21880816

Forgery is opposed by Forgery.
Nobody takes Forgery.

>> No.21880828


>take forgery
>immediately forge a note from the genie's boss saying to give you rank 20 in every category

>> No.21880835


I'll become a spy/assassin.

>> No.21880846

Perform : Sing

Ever see Queen of the Damned?

Remember how Lestat walked up to that band and was like, "I'm going to make you famous."

I'd fucking do that. Exactly that. I would make god himself weep at the beauty, sadness, wrath, or love in my voice. If I'm in studio I think I effectively take 20, so... 40 + check on studio albums. Everyone will love me, forever.

If I recall correctly, a DC 20 or 25 was all it took to garner the attention of outsiders in DnD, so my voice would be too beautiful for priper expression.

Aliens could invade and I would sing them into peace, for a culture and people that could produce something so amazing should never be harmed.

Just sayin'.

>> No.21880865

Craft: Programming
Craft: Graphical Design
Perform: Guitar

Either of those would be fine because I could make a fuckload of money with either of them. Its not like I would need to be good at stealing, disguising myself or anything like that if I had that much money and Knowledge is something you can pay for others to have for you.

>> No.21880867

>Ever see Queen of the Damned?
Yes and it's shit.
Like, the books had gone downhill by that point, but at least they were still readable, but that movie. Fucking hell.

>> No.21880887

like all the other alternative "medicine" people out there? Without being able to explain it, noone will belive you except for the few people you actually cure - and they will be written off as wierd people who dont know what they are talking about, just like any other person who ever claimed a faith healer worked

>> No.21880899


We Pawn Stars/American Pickers/Antiques Roadshow/Comic Book Men/Storage Wars/Toy Hunters now.

>> No.21880907

Did you even the rest of the post?

It's a reference to a single scene for some mental imagery, not some QotD worship. I mean, if you're gonna refute my post, read the whole thing for Krishna's sake...

>> No.21880954

I'm already a medical intern though.

If every patient I treated suddenly started getting better, even from terminal conditions, eventually (Probably pretty soon, though nobody would expect the lowly intern to be the cause) somebody would notice, even if I didn't draw attention to it.

I just want to save people, anon, stop poking holes in it. I've already seen too much death.

>> No.21880968

Spot. I would notice everything.

>> No.21881019
File: 26 KB, 410x432, 1334604623989.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.21881066

Any sort of crafting/profession. With 20 ranks, you're basically a legend at whatever it is you take. I'd probably go with luthier and make violins, 'cause artsy bitches with nimble fingers love dem fine violins. Also, I'd be raking in the cash.

>> No.21881184


We neurosurgeon now.

>> No.21881213
File: 26 KB, 318x300, Inspector Heinrich Lunge.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Oh really...

>> No.21881273

Perform and languages are nice options. You've pretty much saved yourself tens of thousands of hours in some skills that are still in modern use, some of which even pay well.

Looking through 3.5's skill descriptions, Survival is actually fairly cool if you've got a guaranteed 20 ranks in it. Never get lost and always know where true north is. Automatically able to hunt, shelter, and find safely drinkable water, so much that you could feed at least five other people too. Accurately predict the weather 2-6 days in advance (that alone would make you among the best weathermen on Earth). And with a little training in tracking, you'd automatically be one of the best trackers on Earth too.

>> No.21881300

> We neurosurgeon now.

Hmm. I notice this scenario only grants skill ranks, not any of the tools of the trade, formal educational degrees, or legal certificates required to practice them.

>> No.21881305

>It is better to be feared than loved.

>> No.21881321

Decipher Script

DC 30 for translating "intricate, exotic, or very old writing"

I can take 10 to translate Gilgamesh perfectly.

>> No.21881383
File: 173 KB, 660x495, tenma.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>implying I can't pass medical school with 20 fucking ranks in Heal

Seriously, cut me some slack here.


>> No.21882488
File: 26 KB, 274x305, grimmer.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Both of you rule.

>> No.21884428

Monster is overrated tripe.

>> No.21884478

insightful, useful, peaceful - all in all a post full of virtues.

>> No.21884580
File: 26 KB, 300x235, nekki.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Nekki Basara, log in please.

>> No.21885014

>20 ranks in Tumble.

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