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[ERROR] No.21876124 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

What's the most awful experience you've ever had at a session?

>> No.21876258

tell me

>> No.21876298

A facsimile of a homo sapiens in my group didn't use the coaster I provided.

>> No.21876311

>>21876298

>> No.21876328

>> No.21876331

>>21876298

>> No.21876343

> be an evoker on the hunt for a criminal
>last known location was some scum tavern
>burst in
>"Good afternoon, gentlemen! Tell me what I want to know or I'll burn this wretched dump to the ground."
>Nat 20 on Intimidate check
>Everyone is ready to comply
>Other player suddenly remembers he is good aligned
>"Sorry folks he can be a little hot headed. We're just looking for this one guy."
>everything ruined

>> No.21876413

>>21876298

>> No.21876460

>>21876298
Good god, what the fuck? I feel for you man.

>> No.21876489

>Stopped at a town.
>Nothing for me to do, leave party to go browse the market.
>DM offhandedly remarks that someone is selling random shit, including a lantern and flask of lantern oil that never empties.
>Decide, hey, whatever, that's useful, the lamp supposedly casts enough light to match the party's best light spell, I'll buy it!
>DM tries to convince me not to.
>What the fuck, why would you include that and then argue with me over getting it?
>Is treating me like I'm greatly inconveniencing him to buy this item he put in front of me to buy.
>Buy it anyway.
>Very first chance he gets in the session, an hour later, I get hit with a fireball in combat.
>My bottomless oil flask explodes.
>It explodes forever.
>Literally an endless explosion that gradually consumes the planet.
>DM spends the next thirty five minutes running calculations, recruiting another player in the frustrated and disbelieving group who happens to be an engineer to figure out just how long it takes the entire planet to be consumed in the explosion.
>What follows is another half hour in which we argue whether or not theoretically the explosion would be able to completely destroy the universe considering that while there is no oxygen in space there is the oil and the oil is MAGICAL which makes it MAGIC fire which might NOT require oxygen.

>> No.21876499

>>21876298

>> No.21876541

>>21876489
>Because the flask doesn't loose it's enchantment when it shatters

>> No.21876553

>>21876489
This must be a troll.

>> No.21876562

>>21876489
your dm sounds well dense
>>21876328
mvq

>> No.21876572

This DM had his dreamcast up with Sonic Adventure 2 in the room where we ran sessions. He got up to take a phonecall, said it'd be like ten minutes, to make ourselves at home.

Remember Chao World? Our bard and our paladin (some fucking paladin) started up that dreamcast and /tg/ by the time DM got back those chao were so fucking abused. Our DM didn't really say anything about it, but the whole session was pretty lame when you had the chao crying noise in your head.

>> No.21876584

>>21876541
It was the DM arguing that the entire setting and universe was obliterated.

Not the party. According to the DM the enchantment made the flask indestructible, but the cork in the flask was not indestructible, and once destroyed by the fire made for an endless fuel source for infinite explosions.

I don't fucking know.

>> No.21876589

>>21876489
This DM, I do not like them

>> No.21876591

The worst experience was when one of our players had a heart defect and nearly died. This was at a games store close to a hospital and he lived, but it was about as fun as FATAL.

>> No.21876620

>>21876489
>>21876584
This is retarded.

>> No.21876622

>>21876591
>It was about as fun as FATAL
>Read this
>Think it's a pun
>Maybe it's not a pun
>Not sure if play on words

tell me I must know

>> No.21876675

>>21876584
>>21876541
>>21876489

In my next Pathfinder Campaign, the Sun is going to be a ball of never ending fire, caused by an endless flask of oil.

The Deity will have the portfolio's of Luck, Sun, Destruction, and Chaos...

What do I name him?

>> No.21876676

>>21876622
It can only be a pun. He said it was the worst experience ever, but FATAL is tons of fun for the whole family. I've only had splendid games with the system.

>> No.21876682

>>21876553

has to be but damn if that isn't a hilarious bad end

>> No.21876693

>>21876675
Thaht'Guai

>> No.21876701

>>21876675
Bridsh Petrahlyum.

>> No.21876732

we played D&D once.
it fucking sucked ass.

>> No.21876799

>> No.21876921

>>21876732
OH SHIT SON.

YOU DID NOT.

IT'S FUCKING ON NOW.

>> No.21876925

I had a bad dm one time. he wouldnt let me make a char or use any premade ones. I had to use one of his to (even out the group). then he made me level 2 while everyone else was level 10. well i got one feat (even though i was a human) and then he said you come in and this is where you are( 5 turns away from the fight.) now they are fighting a Minitar so i said fuck you dm (in my head) and used the one daily ability i got. Heave. I used it to cut straight though a tree and knock it on the minitar and make it hit every player in the game.

hes like no no no. you have to roll strength(the ability says straight through any ) so i rolled a 20

hes like okay no no no roll this. (intellect) to have it fall right. Rolled a 20.
He then was like no no no no no you must roll for luck now. (i finally say you know what im gonna roll 3 dice to shut you up. its was 20 20 20.
I flip shit the other flip shit and the dm freaks out.
The Dm says roll your damage and hands me a handfull of dice. I roll a total of 60 damage and killed everyone in the game.

The dm gets pissed and said i couldnt play any more. the other players are making fun of the dm for being a pussy about it. And i find out later they actually broke up the entire group because no one wanted to start from the begining.

But that dm made this epicness a terrible adventure.

>> No.21877035

>>21876799
This isn't even grounds to bitch, the supreme god of the setting has a harem of 7 divine beauties, 2 of which are in a lesbian relationship with each other but do it with him anyway, and his antithesis weaponized inflation fetish pedophilia.

>> No.21877040

>>21876925
Suuuuure

>> No.21877056

>>21877040
no u guis I really rolled 5 20s in a row

>> No.21877151

>>21876584
>>21876489

So the flask was indestructible, wouldn't the flow be limited by the narrow opening? At most you're going to get a trickle of flaming oil, easily extinguished by covering the lid (no oxygen). Your GM cannot into pouring liquids.

>> No.21877240

>playing first rpg tabletop ever
>be idiot 13 yr old
>take two hours to read rules star wars and how to create character
>take another hour to create character
>herp derp wookie fighter cuz fuck you
>in first hour of the game I drown in a river
>fuck this
>don't play another rpg until college

>> No.21877592

My character got shot to death by a laser. In D&D.

>> No.21877829

>>21877035
Right, but over the course of a few game sessions we got to watch the DM and his girlfriend engage in light foreplay while the rest of us did approximately nothing.

>> No.21877866

THAT IS A SWEET FUCKING BED, OP! WHERE DO I GET TO SLEEP IN THAT? ANY ANONS WANT TO SLEEP IN THAT BED WITH ME? SLEEP WITH ME OP!

>> No.21878082

>>21876343
All of my rage.

I know there are way worse fucking things, but every time the lawful stupid dumbass decides to pipe up as the "voice of reason", because intimidation is totally badwrong you gaise, I want to punch the motherfucker.

>> No.21878313

>>21877056
As the DM, I watched a guy roll seven 1s (d20) in a row, switching dice to use my own d20 for the last four rolls.

We were all terribly confused, and his character ended up stabbing himself in the face with his dagger.
Everyone laughed, and we moved on.

>> No.21878363

My current players are retarded

Like licking doorknobs retarded

Like the next thing they do that is retarded im honestly just gonna fucking kill them for it to set an example that you cant just lick magical artifacts

I wish i wasnt being literal

>> No.21878432

>>21878363
Why did you add an Artifact Doorknob?

>> No.21878456

>>21878363

Can't be as bad as a guy who punched a dragon in the face. And apparently before I joined the game, three of his characters, all brothers, died in strange and amusing ways throughout the campaign.

Worst I've had so far is WoW raid style loot drama over a +2 longsword. The player that made the drama wasn't even there for the session too. He got the longsword in the end, cause I couldn't be bothered with extended drama, and got a +2 composite longbow as a gift, cause our gm happens to be a nice guy.

>> No.21878462

>>21878432
This, please.

>> No.21878504

>>21878432
Dude, talking doorknobs are like Dungeon Construction 101.

>> No.21878573

>>21878432
They have licked doorknobs, vampires (if it wasnt for a crit in diplomacy they would be dead), fellow players, and mystic statues of small winged naked demented looking babies needed to bring dark, evil gods into the realm

They arent even evil, just really fucking stupid

>> No.21878597

>>21878363
Reminds me of the time, in my Chaos Warhammer fantasy game, the party SORCERER, inside of a daemon infested city, decided to eat a magical bloodclot

Eat it.

With no fate points.

He died and sulked for an hour.

>> No.21878610

>>21877151
No, clearly this flask was actually binding shut an unstable portal to the elemental plane of lamp oil.

>> No.21878613

I had a DM once decide we shouldn't have the mcguffin sword anymore. He had the party make will saves one morning after camp. Those who failed (most of us) forgot everything that ever happened in the campaign. And, of course, the sword went missing in the night.

That whole campaign was fucked. It was a gestalt 3.5 game. He decided to balance out us being gestalt by throwing level 20s at us and ignored us every time we explained why that's a terrible idea.

>> No.21878622

>>21877035
Generally the DM and player should discuss a potential soulmate NPC out of character before implementing it.

>> No.21878640

>>21877829
It's not that we don't believe there wasn't probably a bad session there so much as that the way you described it is not outside of what you'd expect for Exalted.

>> No.21878644

>>21878363

Maybe you should write magical artifact in your penis and have them lick it

Every game group should also be a casual sex group

This is my fetish

>> No.21878653

Fuck all, storytime about Terrance Caanadian

First off, party is evil, with plans on bringing Vecna into their realm cause fuck you thats why

There are 2 mercs, the cn fighters. One prefers rifles and claw weapons and is a neko. Yeah yeah, but he wouldnt shut up. He got -1 con for +2 spot and listen. The other is a dorf tanky guy

Then a cleric of Vecna who is an undead.

The interesting character is Eribus Shadowwalk, the assassin/bard. Fucking cool, good roleplayer, using everything right, etc etc

Then we have Terrance

Terrance is a elf summoner, completely op, and fucking stupid

Con.

>> No.21878660

>>21876343
>Playing Traveler
>Talking to a guy about transporting some illegal goods for cash.
>Roll really well
>Nobleman in group sees me and walks over, shouting and ranting about things, shoving a beer into the hands of the guy I was talking to
>He instantly doesn't trust me anymore.
>Proceeds to get us stuck on a pirate controlled planet with no fuel.

>> No.21878752

>>21878644
Mine too

But some fetishes are better not brought into reality.

>> No.21878753

>>21878613
What are Gestalt games like?

>> No.21878762

>>21878653
>elf summoner
Like, he summons elves?

>> No.21878789

>>21878753
Slightly more unbalanced than normal 3.5.

>> No.21878792

I shared this in a similar thread a while back, but I'll share it here again.

>2001, 16 years old, high school
>D&D 3e was new and exciting
>been playing with a group of highschool friends at 20-something's house, who taught most of them how to play D&D in the first place back in 2e
>talking superheroes with host, tells me he's thinking of starting up a Marvel tabletop game that he and some buddies used to play all the time, invites me
>say yes, because hell yes superheroes
>arrive, it's just host and another guy I've never met before
>new guy has got to be in his late 30s, early 40s, dirty torn jeans, stained wifebeater, handlebar mustache, greasy hair
>seems nice at first, host shows me how to make a character
>while I'm picking powers and writing up my sheet, host and skeezy guy reminisce about previous games
>sleazy shithead starts reminiscing out loud about how his last character raped Jubilee
>in public
>out on the street
>smiling as he says this, makes bouncing motion with his hands
>host gives me worried look, I have my best poker face on
>game starts, sleazy guy gets a call and leaves early
>host apologizes and says he's not going to run this game again
I said this last time I told this story, but holy shit, I still cannot to this day believe that this shithead would talk that way in front of a teenage girl

>> No.21878799

>>21878653
Terrance started out reasonable, hiring our fighters and assbard, then running across the cleric

He takes the tale of the neko and binds our cleric's wrists

I roll to bind. Success of course

After diplomacy and exposition they continue

In a town they are forced to rest for the night, paying for an inn without problem. Then they find a retarded dragon that they instantly adopt. Evil party. Btw, i posted on /tg/ asking for name suggestions because they wanted some. They named it Iggamus

So later on, they decend into a crypt where they stunlock my boss to death (crit after crit on stunning blows, all my bosses have immunity to stun now). They take the artifact (the statue) and leave. Continue on and they find a bear. LOLSWARMCRIT in a forest. Bear is killed to death by squirrels and shit stripping it of all tissue.

Later on, they come across a vampire who was actually a cool guy. Terrance proceeds to piss it off by licking it and asking more questions than a turrets sufferer (i spelt that wrong i know)

Con

>> No.21878819

>>21878762
/facepalm

Elf, who is a summoner

>> No.21878836

>>21878644
>>21878752
that makes three of us

>> No.21878850

>>21878789
Huh. Odd, it seems like a Fighter/Wizard would be handy.

>> No.21878853

>>21876298

>> No.21878866

>>21878836
>>21878752
>>21878644
You guys should get a group together.

>> No.21878935

Worst is the game i'm playing now. Summoner that has a personal realm we sleep in, takes all the difficulty out of everything (due to minmax bs). ranger who whines incessantly about either gold or xp. I've actually punching him in character for being a twat. cleric thats pretty cool, if uninterested. we had a 5th, but he left, how i envy him

>> No.21878940

>>21878799
Another crit is had on a dip roll, and the vamp just tells them to fuck off before he kills them

They leave and head back to the city (called it a town sorry). Next day, there is an invasion of Vecna cultists. Undeads everywhere. They make lore checks, a diety check (vecna communicates mentally with someone) leaves the players untouched, and they meet with the leader of the cultists

They talk, act reasonable, but then Terrance takes out the statue and licks it. In front of the leader. Terrance is to lead the effort on getting vecna into the realm.

Vecna communicates with the leader that he is allowed to hit him when he gets out of line. Leader smacks Terrance. TERRANCE, WITH 8 CHAR AND STR MAKES A INTIMIDATE CHECK THAT NOT ONLY SCARES OFF A LEVEL 5 NECROMANCER/CLERIC BUT MAKES HIM LOOK LIKE A BITCH. So now that another crit has saved them from repercussions, i am now trying to get them killed in the battle to take the city

The end

>> No.21879078

>>21878935
>due to minmax bs
>implying you have to minmax as a caster to be more powerful than the rest of the party

>> No.21879088

>>21879078
i know you don't, this guy did and is beyond proud of it

>> No.21879140

>>21877240
I lol'd.

>> No.21879166

>>21878940
>letting players use skill checks on each other like mind control
>the fuck

>> No.21879717

Every D&D game I've played. Not because of stupid DMs and Player, They were all very good. No.
It's because I almost always land a 1 - 5 on a D20.
All my supposed greatest moments were shattered completely, just because my character forgot how to hold on a rope while being chased by the Kraken.
I almost killed a Balrog, but then I roll a 1, and get flattened by his Flaccid fire-dick.
I almost won a roll that would help me survive from a ship I rammed

>> No.21880568

>>21878799
What the fuck? Asking lots of questions isn't even one of the stereotypes about people with tourettes. Get your stereotypes right, man!

>> No.21880640

>>21879717
this is why in my games, nat 1 is not an auto-fail. Nat 20 is still auto-success however.

>> No.21880914

>>21880640
Standard 4e fan.

>> No.21880964

It was a game of Star Wars: Saga Edition.

Everyone else had (predictably) rolled up Jedi. I, on the other hand, wanted to make a scoundrel pistolero kinda guy, not only because I really, really hate the Force-using side of Star Wars, but also because I figured being the guy who can fly the ship and use explosives and computers and stuff would be really useful.

Now, I can't say I'm surprised things went south. The GM that night was a guy who we all really, really don't like in the seat. That Guy DMPCs that are "super mysterious and badass." You all know the drill.

Well, we're on some planet. Might have been Coruscant or something. I don't really fucking care. The rest of the party is off doing Jedi shit, while I have to find something to keep my occupied. So, I ask if I can do some smuggling missions, since, hey, I'm a smuggler and I have a ship with smuggling compartments.

This is where things went bad. So, I'm flying out on my first ever smuggling mission, when suddenly my com goes off. Oh shit, it's the Republic. I keep calm and try to explain myself, saying I was just flying out on some business to another world. They don't believe me, and ask to search the ship. Okay, sure. I let them on.

-cont.-

>> No.21880974

>>21876675

PALOR THE BURNING HATE!

If you don't know what I'm talking about then read this;
community.wizardscom/go/thread/view/75882/19558798/Pelor,_the_Burning_Hate

>> No.21881074

My worst experience as a DM is letting someone play a caster out of the book of erotic fantasy (3e,) the one that can take stat damage to metamagic. Long story short, he one shot two Goristro's in one spell.

As a player, in a RIFTS game that I was allowed to play a duo sider, got man handled by what I thought was a fallen cosmoknight. Even with my +20 to dodge while transformed, he was hitting me with ease, and the rest of the party herp-derped away.

Currently playing a Scarecrow Mind Mage/Shifter that's managed to keep his identity hidden from an anti-monster and a temporal warrior. Signed a pact to gain an immunity to all sorts of fire. Let's see how long that lasts.

>> No.21881075

>>21880964

So, they board, and start searching the ship. No matter, I explained, since my ship had smuggling compartments. Apparently those compartments were the worst fucking thing ever, because they found them in seconds. No roll. No "well what do we have here." Nothing like that. They just find them instantly.

Well shit. I decide to fight back, since, hey, I'm a pretty good fighter. I take cover behind some boxes and start shooting.

I roll a 17 to hit. Not a bad roll, obviously. GM says it misses.

I scratch my head at this.
>Seriously, that missed? I got like a 22 to hit, and he's still flat-footed!
>Yeah, their AC is 23. Even flat-footed.

Now the guy rolls to hit me. Gets a 3. GM says he hits.
>Um, wait a sec. My AC is 20. There's no way a random patrolman would have hit with that roll. He'd need a +17 to hit!
>Yeah, well, that's exactly what he gets.

Okay. Sure. Why not. I guess I can take a hit... At which point the GM rolls him enough damage to kill me. He straight up one-shots me. I am more than a little pissed at this point.
>Wow, you killed me. I'm dead.
>Shit. Well, nevermind, you live. They take you to jail.

So guess what I got to do for the next 4 FUCKING HOURS. I got to sit and listen to the SUPER cool adventures of the bland Jedi duo, while I waited for them to save me. Oh, and of course when they did, he used the actual stats for the Republic troops, and not his god-stats. I wanted to fucking choke him at the end of that night.

>> No.21881167

>>21881074
>Signed a pact to gain an immunity to all sorts of fire
Then maybe you can help >>21876489 out with his problems.

>> No.21881196

>>21881167
Sounds like he needs a pact that allows him to bitchslap a DM that fucks his players over intentionally that badly.

>> No.21881274

>>21878940
Terrance sounds amazing. He survives by virtue of the dice gods. Either he pleased them, you displeased them, or they are loling at you.

>> No.21882294

>>21880640
>>21880914
Now now girls, let's not be catty.

>> No.21882458

What are coasters even about? Swefag here asking, I mean you enter houses without taking your shoes off and you're frustrated about wiping the table after guests? It does seem like you have your priorities wrong.

>> No.21882489

>>21882458
Carpets are easy to clean as long as no one is literally shitting on them.

Table, once fluid has gotten into it and stained it, is that way more or less forever.

>> No.21882490

>>21882458
>I mean you enter houses without taking your shoes off
So I was already scared of visiting Sweden because of the whole feminism thing, but with culture like this, yeah, no.

>> No.21882522

>>21882458
What are you even talking about, it's rude to walk in with your shoes. And some people don't enjoy dirty tables.

>> No.21882526

>>21882458

>I mean you enter houses without taking your shoes off

Coasters are one thing, I can understand why someone wouldn't use them. But I will never, ever, understand how someone allows this to happen in their home.

>> No.21882558

>>21882489
Are you kidding? Just wipe it off as soon as you spill, it's much less effort than vacuuming all the time, and how does a coaster protect from spilled fluids.

>> No.21882576

>>21882558
It is not spills (coasters don't stop spills anyway) it is the perspiration on the bottom of the glass that causes problems.

And if you need to vacuum after your friends are over just because they wear shoes, you live in a far dirtier place than I do (and I live in the countryside). Once a week leaves the carpet quite clean.

>> No.21882580

>>21878850
That was a normal thing in 2nd Ed.

>> No.21882591

>>21882580
Yeah, but it isn't in 3e, so I was wondering how it is broken.

Well, actually, I can see how, if you made a Wizard/Cleric while you friend made a Fighter/Truenamer or whatever.

>> No.21882638

>>21882458
It's not for tables that just need to be wiped, it's for wooden tables.

>> No.21882644

>>21882558
Condensation, bro.

>> No.21882647

>>21882591
Well, it was quite a viable class in 2nd Ed..
With Gestalt in 3.x it depends a lot on the classes involved. If you combine two high powered classes things can get pretty rad, since you get the best of both.
Normally you don't multiclass in Gestalt games, tho, and the enemies might be gestalt, too, so it might not be that big of a deal.
It's not necessarily more game breaking than efficient multiclassing.

>> No.21882652

>>21882558
>Just wipe it off
This motherfucker obviously doesn't have no teak.

>> No.21882658

>>21882558
>it's much less effort than vacuuming all the time
>Swedes don't vacuum.

>> No.21882738

>>21882458
they are the one thing that separatesus from.....let's say, a nazi, lol

>> No.21882804

>first game
>3.5
>me, 2 friends and the dms gf
>they roll up a elf ranger half elf rogue and a elf druid respectively
>try and roll up half orc barb
>"nope half orcs are ugly and people hate them roll up a human
>human barb and the 3 elfy whores go into a cave
>Giant door
>push and they only slightly budge
>"i kick the door open"
>"roll strength"
>"13"
>"you break your ankle"
>elf druid pulls the door and it swings open easily
>3' thick stone door magically sealed to only open outward
>they leave me behind because none of them can carry me
>get left out of the battle
>get none of the loot cause "barbarians are dumb and cant into money"
that was the last time i played a barb and i still havent ever played a half orc

>> No.21882855

>>21882804
>that was the last time i played a barb and i still havent ever played a half orc

you still played with those assholes? also there are merits to not automatically breaking down doors

>> No.21882858

>>21882804
Are you still playing with that group?

If so, why the hell are you?

>> No.21882882

I once played in a game alongside Touhoufag.

>> No.21882894

>>21882855
>>21882858
God no, i literaly walked out after the dm said i dont get any of the loot because not only did he not participate, he also wouldn't understand the concept of gold and currency.

>> No.21882934

>be playing some Dark Heresy
>me, my brother, and two other friends (one being GM) are in a situation in which we were being shot at by Orks
>take cover, end up getting pinned down
>my brother wants to lay down suppressing fire, that's something you can't do pinned
>our GM was like, "Dude, they went dakka dakka on you, you can not fire back"
>my bro tries to argue semantics about "No, I can fire blind, and my Jaded trait helps me get back on my feet, why won't you let me play"
>as him and the GM argue, he finally decides to quit mid-game, being angry that we decided to follow pinning rules and not his bullshit
>we end up feeding his power gaming, because we can't advance without coaxing him back into the group

This isn't the first time he's done this either.

>> No.21882943

>>21882882
yea he is fun to talk to not to play wth really though

>> No.21882971

>>21882882
>>21882943
Stories? What's he like to play with?

>> No.21883013

>>21882971
he is a legitimately autistic person

>> No.21883034

>>21883013
That doesn't tell me much, people have said the same about me, elaborate.

>> No.21883088

>>21883034
just think about what you know about touhoufag

he is a power gamer
he is kind of a weaboo
he is autistic

>> No.21883149

Racist Nazi whore girlfriend of another player apparently thought everybody would allow her character to walk all over theirs. I was an engineer (in a fantasy/medieval environment) and she stole my alchemist's fire, taunted me with it, then threw it at/back to my character even after I told her what it was and pleaded with her to be careful with it. Luckily it didn't break, but she thought it was really funny. Why did her character do this? No reason. Just because she was a haughty bitch that she thought the world revolved around. It's not like there was any conflict between our characters (or between the two of us, at least not at that point).

Anyway, after repeatedly being a cunt like that, and putting our party at constant risk by doing stupid shit (like running screaming through the tower we were trying to stealthily infiltrate after we were threatened--not too seriously, mind you--by a few enemies), she finally went full retard. Another player had a secret mission that we didn't know about and this put us at odds with him. Basically, there was a stand-off over some magical altar we had agreed to leave untouched, but which he went back to in order to perform some ritual. So there's a tense standoff that should've just been a setup for some good roleplaying. Anyway, the bitch decides to take ritual-guy's side (for no real reason, I might add) and pulls a knife on us. I pull my musket on her and tell her to put her knife away, and quit threatening our leader with it. After shit talking us a bit, she announces she's attacking our leader.

Her: I throw my knife!
Me: Bang.
Her (maybe realizing that she pushed it too far): ...at his hand!
Me: I just see you throwing your knife. Bang.

>> No.21883168

>>21883149
Since my weapon did massive damage upfront (it just took a while to reload), the odds were three-to-two in our favor, and nobody else really wanted a bloodbath, the fight was over before it really began. Unfortunately, the GM let ritual-guy shield the bitch from some of the damage, so she got to stay alive. Ritual-guy made nice with the rest of the party, and all was good... except that we had to figure out what to do about the bitch. No way I was exposing my back to her (and ironically, I was the easy-going team-player of the group until she pushed me too far) so after a long argument, she was expelled from the party. This sent her crying into another room, while her boyfriend brooded angrily, telling us we shouldn't have excluded her, while being unable to be truly blame us, considering how far she had pushed things.

Shortly thereafter, the adventure fell apart due to effectively losing half our players. Tensions continued to grow within the gaming group, and eventually the bitch and her boyfriend narked on the rest of us for smoking pot to our parents (I was in college at the time and just coming home to visit, while some of the others were seniors in high school). Why? Well, the boyfriend genuinely disapproved and he let his anger (and his girlfriend) talk him into it. As for the bitch, I think it was part vindictiveness and part power grab. She seemed to believe that this would cow us and leave her holding the reigns. Needless to say, none of us wanted anything to do with them ever again, so she miscalculated on that last bit.

>> No.21883171

>>21883088
>he is a power gamer
Could be worse. Could know nothing about the game and ask which die to roll every time.
>he is kind of a weaboo
Could be worse. I don't think I need name the worse communities that exist on the internet.
>he is autistic
Could be worse. Could be ADHD.

>> No.21883172

>>21878610
I like this idea. FUND IT!

>> No.21883197

>>21883171
combine all 3

>> No.21883230

>>21883171
>Could be ADHD.
Hey now, ADHD isn't that bad.

>> No.21883234

>>21883149
By the way, that flag looks really snazzy. It's too bad the Nazis couldn't just stick to flag and uniform design. They seemed to have a real knack for it.

>> No.21883238

>>21883197
I was hoping I could hear what such a combination would actually be like, instead of making guesses based on nothing.

>> No.21883254

>>21882458
To be fair, I only use coasters because a few of my dumb ass friends will put drinks right on the fucking edge of the table, which often results in spills, the coasters are there simply to remind them to put the drink further from the edge.

>> No.21883265

>>21883230
Well, I didn't really comment on how bad it is...

>> No.21883359

>>21881075
You should have. Death is the greatest teacher.

>> No.21883384

>that moment when your DM goes full /d/m

Hell, i knew he was furry when he introduced perfectly in harmony with nature, best at ANY magic race of anthro foxes. Whatever. I don't mind furries and i don't mind mary sues as long as it's a throwaway quest.
Then the reward for quest came.
Apparently normally these foxpeople eat only berries and other stuff like this as they view every life as sacred. Except, well, rare occasions. Such as their freedom from untimely deceased Necromancer McEvil.
And so our characters were presented with apparently delicious live fairies.
Our characters looked at each other IC.
We exchanged glances OOC.
Long story short, this story ended with ritual site on fire and our characters trapped unconscious in crystals "because we don't kill, lol, so think about your behavior for next 1000 years!". The game kinda fell apart after that, even if DM kept begging us to play as premade foxrace characters "who would move these heinous criminals to the capital".
I admit, it was a bit of overreaction, but for fuck's sake, DMs. If your fetish is clearly /d/, AT LEAST HAVE SOME DECENCY TO WARN YOUR PLAYERS.

>> No.21883419

>get asked by a buddy if I want to join his buddy's homebrew game
>sure why not?
>we are allowed to create whatever character
>group is a half-angel, a half-vampire and two human dudes (buddy and me)
>first part isn't really that bad actually
>we're on a ship and get seized by pirates
>we manage to defeat them and find a treasure map amongst the loot
>it describes the way to a dungeon
>decide to travel there
>manage to find it, but ...
>dungeon is a colossal woman and she is fat
>gm tells us where the entrance is
>stand up, gather my stuff, do a 360° and moonwalk out the door

>> No.21883534

>>21883149
Had something similar happen several times.

Our token fat kid back when we were in high school always played mighty wish-fullfillment characters, since he was very insecure and pathetic irl.
Most of the time that meant clerics.

We we're told to stop an uprising of undead that gathered in an ancient tomb a few kilometres from the city.
Shortly after we discovered that an ancient necromancer had freed himself from his imprisonment and was severly pissed.

Of course our power-hungry cleric decided to side with the old necrodude.
So what do we do?

We wait at the tomb until dusk, because we found out that the undead can only walk at night and positioned us hidden left and right of the main archway.

So the undead stupidly walk past us and as soon as the necromancer and his new pal come in sight we clobber them.
Since Rolemaster tends to be a lethal system they're both dead on the spot and the undead army crumbles with the fall of their lord.

The cleric player immediatly starts to bitch and whine how we shouldn't kill player characters and shit so the GM decides to show mercy and let him live.

He immediatly starts throwing fireballs at us.

>> No.21883570

>>21883534
Did you kill him again?

>> No.21883631

>>21877040
I was okay with it until he decided to roll three dice instead of one and they all got 20s.

>> No.21883659

>>21876489
>Implying that wouldn't fry the stopper off of a decanter of endless water.

>> No.21883686

>>21883570
Better.

We told him to ease down and overlook what happened.
Went adventuring again and acted like everything was fine.

Secretly my buddy and me told the gm that, while the others do their usual stuff, we sneak into the woods and search for a cave.
We parted the cave in two rooms and outfitted them with a holding cell each.

Then we went back to the tavern, disguised ourselves and in the middle of the night. knocked out the cleric and our three other companions and brought them to the cave, the cleric in one the rest in the other holding cell.

After we had taken all their stuff and stripped them naked.we began to talk about how the cleric had paid us to kidnap the three and what terrible things we ought to do with them.

We bound their hands and feet just so much that they could still walk and set them free in the woods and told them to run.

We bound the cleric in the same manner but also tied a sword to his hands, clad him in armor so the bonds don't show, stuffed a potato in his mouth and set him free shortly after while the others were still in sight.

Of course the cleric tries to shout at them and goes after them.
They think he came to kill them and run for the city.

(Neither of them knew what the fuck was happening because the gm and players always changed rooms for each scene.)

In the end the cleric was clobbered by the city guard.

>> No.21883691

>>21883570
I hope they did.

>> No.21883694

>>21882576
>>21882644
what the fuck? Condensation is literally distilled water, the purest fucking thing there is. The only possible residue in it is from out side of the glass. There is no way it could affect any wooden table unless you let it sit there for a week.

>> No.21883697

>>21883659
I have a suspicion that DM thought that real world operates like Michael Bay movie. Therefore infinite oil = infinite explosions.

>> No.21883703

>>21883686
That's brilliant.

>> No.21883707

>>21877592
>My character got shot to death by a laser. In D&D.
Oh, like that's never happened to anybody else.

>> No.21883749

>>21883703
Actually there was more to it, but it's too much to tell.

It also involved the angriest dog in the world which later killed the big snake familiar of our group`s mage in a combat pit we also dug.
We made quite a fortune with the bets since everyone thought the big ass snake would win.

>> No.21883838

>>21883659
oh shit nigga
just imagine a planet split down the middle, one side a gigantic flowing ocean and the other a sea of living fire. In the middle there is an extreme buildup of cloud formations from all the steam , creating immense thunderstorms.
Fuck...

>> No.21883910

>>21878866
all of one guy there

>> No.21883915

>>21883384
Did you call the DM mean things.

>> No.21883979

>>21883707
Fucking Veggypigmyes and fucking Aerobic android.

>> No.21884027

>>21883694

> Societal and cultural norms don't make sense to me, therefore I don't need to acknowledge them

Jesus, you're a fucking whingebag. He asked you to use a coaster. It's his house. Use a fucking coaster.

>> No.21884160

>>21876489

>> No.21884179

>>21876675
Solaire. Just replace the OJ with oil

>> No.21884191

This is both as terrible experience and the time I lashed out for been forever GM.

A friend of mine who's a furry brought shard round and said "You like rpgs, can you run a game now?"
In my mind I'm guessing he ust wants a furry erp. "Ok, Who's playing?" I ask the group, 8 people want to join. I see this is going to be a train wreck as 3 of them want p&p to be vidya. So I decide to do something that was wrong to do, but felt so right.
I dragged each player through an uncomfortable and miserable furry fetish human trafficking one off.
No one asked me to GM for awhile and shard has never been brought up, but it took awhile to actually get a game with them again.

>> No.21884367

*Bump check*

>> No.21884378

>>21884367
Goddammit I'm new.

>> No.21884437

>>21876489

Next time I GM, this is going to be an artifact sought after by the BBEG to bring about the destruction of the universe.

Which the ensuing explosion causes the birth of a new universe aptly termed 'the big bang'

>> No.21884487

>GM sets up long a tedious labyrinth
>Actually have draw a map on a piece of paper just to get anywhere
>After like 45 mins of guessing we get to a Minotaur boss
>We beat it way to easy
>Go through door in the back of Minotaur's room.
>Magical fireblast kills all of us
>"You had to find the magical immunity potion in the labyrinth."
>We leave and never play with him again

>> No.21884699

>>21884487
posted this story but before but fits well here:

>DMed a 3.5 gladiator one off with 2 regular players (Werewolf ranger and elf druid) and a friend who wanted to play but struggled to engage and role play (human fighter)
>One regular can be a bit of a mary sue but the games stay fun so were ok with this (he's the werewolf)
>The friend starts moving from roll playing to role playing and his 2-handed master fighter starts becoming more of a rough cop
>The game is turned from a hack and slash to a detective story by him role playing and wanting to know
>Game goes great and he wants to carry on, I agree and so do the other 2 players since it was so fun.
>Next game starts
>If the plot isn't about the werewolf, game doesn't move
>Haven't been able to get my friend to join a game ever again

He's a damn good player when he got into role playing.
I hate the guy that played the werewolf.

>> No.21884702

>>21884487
I'm doin that next time I DM.

>> No.21884783

>>21884702
Don't even joke about it

>> No.21884889

>>21876298
What's the big deal? Fuck's sake man, it's not like your furniture is high dollar stuff anyways. Relax, brah.

>> No.21884897

>>21884889
>Not using a coaster in someone else's house.
You, neckbeard. Get the fuck out and never return.

>> No.21884920

>>21876489
This kind of shit happens more often than it should.
>Hey player, look, a cool thing!
Really? I want one!
>Really, are you sure?
Yeah really, it looks cool!
>Well I don't allow it anymore
What, three seconds ago it was fine!
>Not anymore though
Bullshit, that thing was cool, I want one!
>Fine, fine, you get your thing but now its cripplingly useless
>What? Fine, whatever, at least I got it. Now hand it over.
>Sure here you go OH SHIT NOW YOU'RE DEAD BECAUSE OF IT WHY DIDN'T YOU LISTEN TO ME, PLAYER?!
GODDAMNIT GM!

>> No.21884952

>>21884889
Someone get this chimp off the computer before he starts talking about eating babies or hurling shit.

>> No.21884962

>>21884889
You don't get to decide that for other people. If someone goes through the effort of hosting, show them a little gratitude. You are entitled to nothing.

>> No.21884967

>Be an half-orc 2h fighter
>Fighting a lesser demon of miniboss power
>Critical miss, DM crit deck leaves me with a fumbled grip so 4 turns of nonlethal
>Basically useless for 4 turns
>Next turn swing anyway
>Critical miss, crit deck rolls a shattered sword
>No weapon and still doing nonlethal

>> No.21885013

>>21876489
You know that doesn't make sense, like at all. Even in the stupidest scenario the flask would turn into a infinite flamethrower, with finite range.

Explosions only happen when there's pressure involved, if the flask doesn't break there's no explosion, if the flask breaks, there's a small explosion followed by a river of never ending fire, which consumes at the same speed as is created, so neverending fire lake.

>> No.21885017

>>21884920
Our DMs problem is that he gets a cool idea for a homebrew item then gives it to us and then once he realizes how overpowered it is instead of nerfing it or taking it away from us he tries to create an even more overpowered item that he uses to try to deal with which invariably falls into our hands.

I.E. He gave a great sword that attacked as a touch attack, did stacking wounding damage based on the targets alignment (From 2 for LG to 12 for CE), the wounding damage couldn't be healed or stopped by anything short of a caster level 20 remove curse followed by a heal spell or a wish / miracle. So, swing once and a CE target takes 12 damage every round. Forever. Twice and it's taking 24 damage every round. Forever.

His solution to take it from us? A crown with Dominate Monster at will. His intention was to dominate the person using and take it back. Unfortunately we killed the creature with the crown and now have the crown and the sword.

>> No.21885052

>>21883838
look up anaximander

>> No.21885054

>>21876799
Ugh... Even the NPCs in Exalted are masturbatory wish-fulfillment.

>> No.21885069

>>21884967
4 turns of nonlethal, just what the fuck kind of crit miss table was he using?

>> No.21885083

>>21885069
Critical fumbles on attack roles are the stupidest homebrew mechanic a DM can employ.

Melee classes are shafted to begin with without them getting becoming even more likely to suck more as they get more iterative attacks.

Any DM who thinks it's a good idea needs to get their head checked.

>> No.21885105

>>21885017
Okay, that sounds kinda funny.

My group has to deal with bullshit plot developments that don't make any sense that are covered with "if you continued playing you'd see it was an overarching plot and sinister scandal that causes it" really? Like he's secretly the bad guy? "Exactly." Well whatever, call me if you ever want to do a campaign with airships. "But player, that's exactly what the campaign was going to turn into, really!" What? "Yeah! Spacejammer, ever played?" No, but then why did you let me roll a druid if you were going for spacejammer? Wouldn't it be useless? "Well, yeah, you'd have to roll up a new character."

And then you give the DM an idea you want to try for a character some time. He rejects it because "it'd take months of playtesting to see if it was balanced or not." Talk about some fluff behind it, suddenly he's interested and wants to do it. Great, I'll make the paperwork for it and you can read it over when I get a rough draft. Turn in the draft and he totally changed his mind even though he loved it a day before. Talk again, he loves it again. Continue process, he suddenly hates it again an hour after we're done talking again.

>> No.21885114

>>21884967
>Being an elf 2 weapon fighter lvl 6
>DM puts a trap that divides the group
>One team is me
>The other is the rest
>I'm in a room with two Trolls (he meant to use Ogres, but he's a fucking cunt)
>They eviscerate me
>Because it was his error (using trolls isntead of ogres) he agrees to reincarnate my character with a npc Druid
>Now I'm a Troglodite
>Lose every feat ever
>Until I reach dex 15 again
>Being now a Troglodite with dex 11
>Also LA+1
>DM says now I got no reason to complain, my PC is alive

>> No.21885116

>>21877866
I'll do it

>> No.21885118

>>21885069
He just had a crit deck and it was 1d4 turns of nonlethal.

I got really unlucky that fight.

>> No.21885133

>>21885083
I've only used one once, and that had crit fails for both ranged and melee, it was mostly to change things up and see how it went, but it never went as stupid as be useless for the next 4 turns, you were mainly getting things like, -2 to your next attack roll, or pick up your weapon again.

>> No.21885154

>>21878792
Gender Equality, Amigo. Them's the brakes.

>> No.21885194

>>21878792
you gotta problem with all that equality

>> No.21885267

>>21885194
Equality is a lie.

>> No.21885342

>>21880914
Natural 1's were never automatic failures in 3.x. That was an optional rule.

>> No.21885477

>>21883419
>360°
So you spun in a full circle and walked through the table?

>> No.21885511

>>21885477
Stepped all over the table to spite him, more likely.

>> No.21885513

>>21885477
>moon walk out of the door
it's like you couldn't even read

>> No.21886467

Bump

>> No.21887859

>>21880640
laughingfakegeekgirls.gif

>> No.21887907

>>21882458
Dude, its a running gag.
Look at the filename of OP's pic.

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