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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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[ERROR] No.21854602 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Ladies, don't be shy and stat me. I assume you haven't seen a more handsome, stronger or more galant knight then me.

>> No.21854615

I thought "stat me" threads were against THE LAW

>> No.21854630

Some Bullshit Feat That Lets You Use Cha For P. Much Everything.

>> No.21854669

Like you give a fuck.

>> No.21854702


I think I need a close up to "stat" my friend over there.

>> No.21854704


>> No.21854720

High agility
Moderate strength
High skill
Low endurance
power bottom

>> No.21854731

I hear he's been stabbing Lord Brenly for years, and he's not dead.

>> No.21854740

You could actually make any character from ASOIAF in NWoD

>> No.21854753

>Loras Tyrell will never wax your nipples
>you will never be the meat in fine-ass Loras/Marge Tyrell sammich


>> No.21854754

Renly is the top

>> No.21854767

>Renly as the meat in the Tyrell sibling sandwich
>Lucky guy, but you'd think that margery is about as effeminate as Loras, so why the issue, just turn her around and think "balls"

>> No.21854770

Do you suck a cock?

>> No.21854801


You jelly?
I got the princess lalalalala!

>> No.21854846

Do I have to smack you again?

>> No.21854888

>Play Game of Thrones The Boardgame
>Always play Greyjoy

We do not sow

>> No.21854963

Loras is a Dex fighter with high Cha and low Con.

I wanna see some stats for the Clegane brothers, personally.

>> No.21854973


Lets see how your drown god helps you against the fury of the storm!

>> No.21854991


Gregor: LOTS OF STRENGHT AND CONSTITUTION and no Int. Wears the heaviest armour available.

>> No.21855037


If we're using a system that allows it, Gregor should take a bunch of flaws and use them to buy more and more strength and endurance. Chronic pain, drug addiction, uncontrollable rage, etc.

Sandor would be a fairly typical Str fighter, but with a decent int and perhaps a bit of roguery as well.

>> No.21855062

Step aside, EVIL!
Real hero coming through.

>> No.21855092


>> No.21855096

The Iron Throne is mine by right!

>> No.21855121

Go for the eyes, boo! GO FOR THE EYES!

>> No.21855205

Wait, the boardgame?

>> No.21855246

Btw has anybody played battle for Westeros?
Is it any good?
Are the miniature pretty?

>> No.21855266

Yep, came out in 2003. They launched a 2nd Edition when the show came out.

Check it out on Board Game Geek. We actually have more people that play the card game, persoanlly.

>> No.21855324

>> No.21855349

Damn that kinda looks like Axis&Allies.

Speaking of that, I want to start an A&A game here on /tg/. Got the board and errything.

>> No.21855360

Is the guy in the blue shirt smiling at the camera? Because that looks like he's fucking terrified...or trying to scare the piss out of us.

>> No.21855371


>> No.21855435


Greyjoy smiling at us menacingly, while his longships prepare to raid and pillage our lands. Your Lannister isn't nearly blond enough, go and dye his hair golden!

>> No.21855484

Your gaming group looks like a bunch of really nice guys. I am so happy to see people above the age of 22 taking time to play a game together. my friends all got too busy to game

>> No.21855631

You might not sow, but your crest looks like a dick and balls.

>> No.21855649


What do you expect it's an island filled with pseudo-viking rapists.

>> No.21855704

there must be plenty of traumatised squids in nearby waters....

>> No.21855752

Fancy fuck (4)
Another fucking stat me thread (4)
Who gives even half a fuck?(2)

Impolite sage for another fucking stat me thread

>> No.21855863

I would expect the squid to look erected, not limp.

>> No.21856174


Looks a bit more to me like a uterus and ovaries.

>> No.21856201


We do not sow...but we bleed once a month.

>> No.21856460


House Greyjoy: "We do not sow."

>> No.21856479

No... the loops on the the top right and left corner my look a little like fallopian tubes and ovaries, but the loops on the side look like balls, the fins at the bottom look like a knob with the skin retracted, and the smaller tentacles look like pubic hair more than like an uterus.

>> No.21856523

Sandor probably has the best all-around combat stats of any of the Westeros folks. Except maybe Brienne. Unlike Gregor he is actually way faster and way more skilled than normal. Gregor's just... not slow.

>> No.21856525


Somewhere in the halls of the drowned god Balon Greyjoy is crying.

>> No.21856532

Crying from getting the squid dick.

>what is dead may never die, but rises again
>harder and stronger

>> No.21856534

>> No.21856570


Maybe a squid dick is actually more useful underwater, since you can't have sex with a mermaid using a normal dick.

>> No.21856581

>not playing House Stark

>> No.21856582

>it smells like squid around here

>> No.21856584



>> No.21856590

No-one with a right head on their shoulders plays Stark.

>> No.21856593


>> No.21856601

Gregor's strength really helps him win in Westeros though, especially during war.
Westerosi knights seem to wear heavy armor and carry shields, which means a lot of how they fight is built around absorbing and dealing out heavy shocks until one guy wears or or makes a big enough mistake that you can take him down.
Issue there is, Gregor fucking ignores matter when he hits it thanks to sheer overwhelming mass, so if you try to block with a shield he shatters it and breaks your arm, try to parry with a sword he breaks it and crushes your skull, etc.
Oberyn was able to fight him for so long because Dornishmen seem to favor lighter armor and skirmishing tactics.

>> No.21856613


People are making fun of me and nobody likes me cause I'm a bastard.

>> No.21856628

Sure. The only people who seem to think they could contest with him are freakishly skilled (and usually pretty strong themselves), anyway.

>> No.21856632

Obligatory Tyrion gif.

>> No.21856640

Pic related is a squid dick. How can it work better than humanoid dick to fuck mermaids ?

>> No.21856648

I still feel like Nathan Jones should've been The Mountain.
He's not English or Scottish or Northern or any kind of United Kingdom citizen sure, but Gregor only needs to growl, be huge, and look scary, and FUCK if Jones isn't scary.

>> No.21856660

It's prehensile.

>> No.21856663

I think the season 1 guy they had was pretty perfect. The season 2 guy was unsuitable but could actually act, did a better voice and shit.

Lots of non-UK actors are in GoT so not sure what you're on about.

>> No.21856670


Le dissapointed face.

>> No.21856681

Not sure if Oberyn was freakishly skilled or not.
He was probably a damn good fighter, but the fight in the book seems to suggest half of it was how Oberyn fought was the Paper to Gregor's Rock.
Though he WAS able to accurately stab him right in the back of the leg with a spear, one-handed, which is certainly not easy.
You generally aimed a spear at the torso.

>> No.21856683

>implying you actually put your dick in mermaids
They lay eggs, and you fertilize them. Trust me, I'm a scientist as well as a sorcerer.

>> No.21856698

Crossbows: all day erry day.
option 1a: composite bows/ dragon bows
option 2 wildfire
option 3 dragons

>> No.21856704

Some species of fish are viviparous though.

>> No.21856708

Westeros seems to not use crossbows or arbalests much, which seems odd considering how common plate is among it's knights.

>> No.21856713


Option 4: Man with no face
Option 5: Samwell Tarly

>> No.21856718

Are you fucking retarded? I didn't say the mountain was unkillable, I said the people in-setting that think they'd have a chance with him one-on-one in close combat are the setting's best physical fighters.

>> No.21856725

It's because it's in a weird mixed-period medieval stasis and Martin doesn't want to think about tactics and analogues and equipment when he could be thinking about food.

>> No.21856727


The Freys seem to use crossbows and I think the Lannister use them as well.

>> No.21856745


Food and Shae/Ariannes'/Goldys'/Cercei/anyotherfemales boobs.

>> No.21856750

Food and banners. Mostly food.
Yeah, as the entire fucking Red Wedding found out. Can't remember where Tyrian got his crossbow...I think he got it from Tywin's room, though I'm not sure why it would be there.

>> No.21856762

And the vag. I'm sure Martin images all that genitalia going on as he types. One-handed.

>> No.21856770

>Food, Banners, Nipples, in that order

>> No.21856773

Who the heck is Goldys?

>> No.21856805


Sorry, I meant Gilly. For some reason her name is Goldy in the German version of the book.

>> No.21856811


>> No.21856830


Joffrey had a crossbow he got from Tyrion and I think some Nights Watch dudes and the whore used them during the battle for Castle black.

>> No.21856836


>> No.21856845

Sounds more German perhaps? I dunno.

>> No.21856851


Hihi..burn fire burn..everybody will burn!

>> No.21856869

Melisandre was amazingly cute-looking, which somehow made her even more disturbing.

>> No.21856873

She didn't want to want it, but she did.

>> No.21856884


>> No.21856893


Well, I'd say her smoking vagina of terror was more disturbing than anything else.

>> No.21856938


The actor who plays Snow will still make all the sexy scenes look completely unsexy by looking like a he's about to start crying.

>> No.21856958

He's Northern, they're all depressing.
And Ygritte was a trillion times hotter then her description in the books.

>> No.21857035


And sadly by Season 6 she'll be dead as Stark. But they did get Brienne right imo.

>> No.21857081

>you will never fight the other boys in your village for the chance to mount 'Big Brienne'

>> No.21857093

Sean Bean was a pretty good Ned, though he doesn't look that much like him.
Robert Baratheon was down-right perfect.

>> No.21857110

>looks like any other dude in the TV-show

>> No.21857117

You fucking kidding? Brienne is not ugly enough. You hit the actress who plays Brienne in the face with a mallet, then blow up he nose like she has that one disease and boom. Brienne in the tv series is hollywood ugly, not George RR Martin Ugly.
Which Stark? Pretty soon everyone is going to be dead.
Some people on /d/ thought that was scary, and others fapped furiously to it.

>> No.21857126


I'd be more worried about the guards protecting the lords daughter then other boys trying to mount Brienne.

>> No.21857174

I thought it was actually quite brilliant to associate the North of Westeros with the North in England, mostly because they have similar stereotypes: working-class folks who live in unpleasant areas fighting little gang wars and being depressing in general.
It's grim up North.

>> No.21857182


Shit, I didn't even notice that he was in the show.

>> No.21857200

oop north*

>> No.21857206


Now I have aquestion: Are the Dornish actually Arabs or Byzantines?

>> No.21857207

Brienne in the series is indeed simply plain, not ugly. This makes her ugly by the standards of the series, where every woman is fucking gorgeous.
Which is funny, because most of the off-hand descriptions of the noblewomen in the books describe them as being fairly unattractive.

>> No.21857221

So, y'know, both.

>> No.21857226

I would say Byzatines.

>> No.21857238

They use straight swords and have knights, but eat middle-eastern-ish food, have swarthy and dark skin.
They're also rather like Moorish Spain.
They also have horsebowman, which is somewhat odd, as I'm not certain if the Byzantines had that.

>> No.21857259

And their women are freaks in the sack.
Seriously, every named female Dornish character so far has been pretty randy. Admittedly, half of them are Obryen's daughters....

>> No.21857275

Persians. They seem similar to classical Persians, especially with the horsebowmen. Well if you crossed the Persians and Byzantines you would get something closer than the turks.

>> No.21857304


Every Dornishmen so far wasn't much better either.
It's not even the named ones who are whorish, remember what one of Oberyns daughter said to Doran when he arrived in Sunspear. It was something about women fucking every men because Oberyn died and they don't even demand money.

>> No.21857314

I'm pretty certain Byzantines used horseback archers. Weren't they all the rage in the Balkans?

>> No.21857331


Yep, they used horsearcher from the Balkans and Aisa Minor.

>> No.21857332

indeed. the byzantine military never didnt use horse archers.

>> No.21857334

Every time I see lines like that in the ASoIaF books I always think of one of the Witcher 2's many glorious lines.
>"In my experience, sex and politics are basically about the same thing: fucking others."

>> No.21857350

The cultures in aSoIaF aren't really supposed to be exact copies of historical civilizations. More, they draw influences from several. So when you say "Are the Dornish Arab or Bynzatine?" is sort of a trick question. They're inspired by both, and more.

>> No.21857356

Ah, then the Byzantines then.
Their usage of very western European knights and religious bits combined with middle eastern flavored bits is very Byzantine. Art for Sunspear makes it look like Istanbul all the time.

>> No.21857362


They're Moorish, with the straight swords and more egalitarian culture plus the Spanish type food.

>> No.21857378

Sure, they used them at some point or another. It's just that when you say Byzantines everybody pictures cataprachts or whatever.

Just like Romans are always legionaires although they used wide variety of troops, just like everybody else.

>> No.21857381


Now it's important to find out who will play Oberyn in the series.

>> No.21857396

Or it could be that the author didn't copy any one group specifically, and instead just mixed influences from all around.

>> No.21857409

I'm not sure how I feel about Brienne.

>> No.21857417


Probably that.
But Byzantiums seems to fit better then most.
>Very different culture from the rest
>warm climate
>Knight and Horsearcher
>Yet worships the same gods as everybody else

>> No.21857418

It'll be awhile before he shows up, but he'll probably be liked by all when he does.
What's remarkable about the television adaption is how even if the viewer is introduced to the universe by it without reading the books, I note that they end up thinking the same characters are cool for the same reasons.
When the books came out, everyone liked Tyrion, Sandor, Syrio Forel, and Oberyn and such.
So far people have responded amazingly positively to Tyrion, Sandor, and Syrio in the TV series.

>> No.21857427

But I'd like to see her nude with the kilos of muscles she took for that role.

>> No.21857433

My dick feels very strongly.

>> No.21857445

I fucking love Dorne. I can't wait to see it in the show.
>Dat cultural crossroads.
>Dat god tier food and wine.
>Dat Dornishman's Wife.

On the other hand,
>tfw they're mostly a minor faction, thus far.
>tfw Martin doesn't describe enough Dornish meals, so A Feast of Ice and Fire only had a couple Dornish recipes.
>tfw the Martells get fucked over by everything, everywhere, every time.

>> No.21857453


And I guess everybody hates Joff and Cersei. I think after season 3 and 4 Jaime will become one of the popular characters as well.

>> No.21857478

The Lannisters are actually my favorite characters. Yes, even Jofferey. You know, and Brienne.

>> No.21857494

They're going to start showing up more often in the next book I bet.
With Aegon the Possibly-Not-A-Targayren, Jon Connington, and the Golden Company now in the Stormlands, and with Doran's kid dead by dragonfire, they'll want to back his claim to the throne, since it's the best chance they have of getting what they want.
Alternatively, Connington could fuck up negotiations with Dorne and Dorne bails on them, which frankly would be not unexpected for Martin.

>> No.21857502

Why would you like Joffrey, except for the fact that everyone else dislike him ?

>> No.21857517


Well they have no one to blame but themselves for doing nothing during the roberts rebellion. Which still puzzles me. The Tyrells send their entire army straight against Robert and then besiege Storms' End, while the Martell(who are related to the Targaeryans through marriage) just sit around and do nothing except for sending some knights fight at the Trident.

>> No.21857530

Cersei's a cunt and I was glad when Joffery choked and died a painful, terrifying death.
That said, Cersei's instability makes her a great foil for all the rational characters trying to fix things.
And Jaime is hands-down one of my favorite characters, partially because his life makes him a walking example of Westerosi's tendency towards massive hipocracy in all things, and he's fully aware of it.
And Tyrion's gold, pure and simple.

>> No.21857559

His unabashed cruelty; the fact that he is merely a product of his environment; he gets him some Marge action; the actor that plays him on the show is wonderfully cast, and kawaii as fuck; his death was immensely satisfying.

This guy knows what's up.

>> No.21857560

I suspect there were internal problems.
Doran says more then once that Dornish lords are fiercely independent, even of Martell rule, and the Sworn Sword (Dunk and Egg) shows that violent feuds on a battlefield scale aren't uncommon among them, which seems less common up in the Southlands and even the North (though I'm guessing it's easier to get away with in the North).

>> No.21857578

I liked Twyin a lot too: sure he's a gigantic asshole, but he's a glorious one at least, and every bit of information we've heard about him suggests he's a brilliant administrator and ruler, not only securing his own power but actually making shit run smoothly.
He's even fairly magnanimous to defeated enemies, though he seems....a tad vindictive at times to those who hurt his pride.

>> No.21857584

>> No.21857590

>Seeing dick and balls
>Not seeing vagina and ovaries

Jus' sayin'...

>> No.21857594


So Aegon failed at conquering Dorne not because of their strategy or skill, but because the were so disorganized that there was nothing to defeat?

>> No.21857597

>Westeros total war


>> No.21857620


A mod for the game Medieval 2 Total War. I just use the pictures because they are nice.

>> No.21857621

Compare to Mace Tyrell, or the Tyrell's in general honestly, who seems purely focused on ego gratification and personal power-building.
His daughter and grandmother are the same way, but probably quite a bit more intelligent.
Loras is a gloryhound, pure and simple.
Garlan "the Gallant" Tyrell I'd like to hear more about: he seems like a bro. He's the only person in the entire series to actually vocally support and admire Tyrion without being a prostitute or also a dwarf. That's GOTTA say something about his character at least.

>> No.21857625

Word. Charles Dance was a fabulous choice, too.

>> No.21857634

There's no uterus, and there's a round thing at the end of the shaft. It think that seeing it as a dick is legitimate regardless of sexual orientation.

>> No.21857636


Did his crippled brother Willem bully him into becoming a bro/galant knight?

>> No.21857647


It should be "Didn't his...."

>> No.21857648

They also had massive terrain superiority, and seem to band together when anyone starts trying to conqueror them.
Fighting through the Dornish Marches would be hell, and then there's the desert. It says when they DID conqueror Dorn, the cost in lives was tremendous, and occupying it cost even more as Dornish lords and skirmishers constantly broke supply lines and murdered people in their sleep.

>> No.21857678

No idea, he just seems to be the only Tyrell that turned out decently aside from Willas.
Plus apparently he's a badass fighter: in one book you see him sparring against three-to-one odds, and Loras actually admits his brother's a better fighter then he is.
Loras, for all his FABULOUS is a damn good knight, so Garlan must be fantastically skilled, and manages to remain humble about it.

>> No.21857702

Kind of unrelated, does anyone have the gif from the ASoIaF General thread the other day with the greentext explosion?

>> No.21857714

Someone posted it on the roll a house thread.

>> No.21857728

Erps, that's not it but go to that thread on here and you'll find it.

>> No.21857741

Not the full version

>> No.21857749

Literally every Tyrell is 'good' as far as the Westerosi average goes. They are an OP family.

>> No.21857751

Version 1.

>> No.21857752

No, but see >>21857714

>> No.21857758

With the sword, anyway. Not a jouster, so opportunities for prestige may be limited outside of killing the shit out of people.

>> No.21857760

Oh, awesome.

>> No.21857766

... and I can't post version 2 because it's already floating around somewhere.

>> No.21857770

No, but see

>> No.21857782

>Implying she actually had a Lancastrian accent in the show
I wish she did. I've been quite impressed so far that, despite the American development, the northerners actually have predominantly northern accents. Excluding the pureblood Stark children, understandably because they were raised by a Tully mother. Jon seems to be more northern-voiced because he's had more contact with the commoners of Winterfell and was raised exclusively by Ned rather than Cat.
It's all very well thought-out. I was sort of hoping for Scottish wildlings.

>> No.21857791


Don't forget about the fact that they have Randyll Motherfucking Tarly, who eats nails and shits swords, and his valyrian greatsword. They also seem to have and endless supply of grunts to fight their wars.

Robb Starks Army: 20.000 men
The Army Willas can call upon in two weeks while their main force is at Storms' End or Maidenpool: 20.000 men

>> No.21857793

I suppose, but Mace is a pompous idiot who's not as competent as he claims, his grandmother's manipulative and is willing to poison children to attain her goals (though Joffery's a little shit who deserved it), Maegary is heavily implied to be just as manipulative, but sweeter about it, and Loras is a glory hound who in Jaime's words "is exactly like me twenty years ago", which doesn't say great things about his character.
Wilas is a humble cripple, and Garlan's a humble knight, so they're vastly improved over the others.

>> No.21857809

And is also willing to arrange a "hunting accident" for his own son. How very noble of him.

>> No.21857827


I didn't mean his nobility but the fact that Tyrells are OP.

>> No.21857830

>A Song of Ice and Fire

>> No.21857833

Martin has stated that the North's full martial might is actually incredibly huge, considering they control a land greater then any other Great House in size, but it would take forever to muster them all, and half might not even come when called.

>> No.21857841

Oh. Yeah, the Tyrell's are basically Medieval France in terms of their fighting strength: lots of fields, hills, good wine, and knights knights everywhere, as far as you can see.

>> No.21857849

There's a few. Granted they're usually short-lived, but Jon is managing to be a decent "ruler" as far as that goes on the Night's Watch, and Dany's so well-meaning that it's actually screwing her over, since she refuses to let an entire culture built around slaving sell slaves.

>> No.21857850

>A Feast of Ice and Fire
>meat and bacon pie

>> No.21857855

Margaery's only implied to be like that in Cersei the paranoid fuckwit's chapters, the grandmother saved Westeros from a psychopathic tyrant by poisoning Joff and Mace is a douchebag, but not really an evil douchebag. Loras may have Jaime's ego and lust for glory but he hasn't been persecuted like Jaime was for slaying the king, so he hasn't had his morals and sense of honour driven out of him by cynicism. Plus Loras wasn't raised by fucking Tywin.

>> No.21857867

I've had beef and bacon pie.
I don't know why people are so down on British foods: half of 'em is baking delicious meats, gravy, and vegetables into a delicious pastry crust.

>> No.21857878

I wouldn't call Jon noble. Just, maybe.

As for Dany, we all know how interesting she is.

>> No.21857879



>> No.21857880


Extremely strong:
>Very large territory
>Produce more food then anybody else
>Giant Army
>Giant Navy
>Lots of knight
>Best military commander in the Seven Kingdoms( Tarly)
>Lots of wine
>Nearly as rich as Lannisters

>> No.21857896

No, Margaery's action in general seem to suggest she's a lot more cunning and manipulative then she appears. Her close association with her grandmother alone is pretty suggestive. Also her making "friends" with Sansa now that Sansa is single.
Oh, marrying her brother would put the Tyrell's in charge of the North technically, wouldn't it?
Yeah, Margaery's a sweethart, but she's no less power-hungry then Mace, and less of an obvious blowhard about it.

>> No.21857901

>Best military commander in the Seven Kingdoms( Tarly)
>Not Stannis
I disagree, sir.

>> No.21857914

Just is better then half of the lords in Westeros really. He's got a genuine sense of noblesse oblige rather then just focusing entirely on increasing his own influence.

>> No.21857920


I think lots of people in the book refer to Tarly that way. I'm not sure how good Stannis is considering the Blackwater disaster.

>> No.21857926

>Best military commander in the Seven Kingdoms

>> No.21857933

One of their key issues seems to be that most of their knights (Tarly being an exception) are relatively inexperienced in actual warfare.

>> No.21857947

Stannis is at least competent. He's inflexible, but he's aware of it enough that he seems to try surrounding himself with people who CAN think out of the box, like Davos.

>> No.21857950


As I said I'm just going by what people say in the books.

>> No.21857957

>the grandmother saved Westeros from a psychopathic tyrant by poisoning Joff
Maybe I had a stroke but didn't Littlefinger poison him?

>> No.21857964


Wasn't Blackwater a disaster planned by Florents?

>> No.21857983

Oh hello, we heard you had some knights in need of examples in gallantry, strength, honor and nobility.

>> No.21857989

Oleanna Tyrell arranged it at least.
The poison used were the "pearls" in that headdress she "lent" Sansa.
Littlefinger probably helped...probably just because he could and it fit in with his plans.
It's becoming increasingly obvious that Littlefinger DOESN'T plan out absolutely everything in advance, but is really fucking good at working out new plans on the fly to fit new information.
He was in on it with Varys (probably even with the Aegon thing), and worked with Oleanna too I believe.

>> No.21858003

Oh yeah. They teamed up to do it. Now I remember.

>> No.21858007

>Speed of lightning, roar of thunder! Fighting all who rob and plunder! Underdog, Underdog!

>> No.21858016

Petyr's only weakness appears to be Cat, though that's since transferred to Sansa in a totally-not-creepy-at-all way at this point.

>> No.21858032


She has already bloomed and by westerosi standarts she is an adult woman!

>> No.21858034

Littlefinger provided Sansa's hairnet. Olenna (right? Can't quite remember if that's the right name) quite pointedly fussed with it at the wedding feast.

>> No.21858039

She got the hair-net-thing from Littlefinger's man, not Oleanna's.

>> No.21858042

Loras plz go. Weren't you maimed or something anyhow?

>> No.21858048

It's creepy in a "Well, I might as well fuck her kid" way, not in "she's not old enough" way.
Olenna Tyrell, the Queen of Thorns.

>> No.21858062


Shot twice with crossbow and had hot oil dipped over my head. And I am still fabulous.

>> No.21858069

They keep saying that in the books, but I've noticed that the things people keep hearing rumors about are usually the things that they're wrong about entirely in Martin's books.

>> No.21858075


Since when was Littlefinger not creepy anyway.

>> No.21858078

Got no confirmation on that, sir.

>> No.21858087

He's charming sometimes. And funny. And witty.
But everything involve Cat in any way is just creepy.

>> No.21858098

Also, apparently he has teleporting powers now, since he seems to magically show up halfway across Westeros all the time in the television adaption, going from Harrenhal to Renly's camp in the Stormlands in like, three days.

>> No.21858119


Let's not forget great rumors like:

Sansa kills Joffrey and turns into winged wolf and flies away.
Lord Tywin shits gold.
Brienne killed Renly.
Quarth got burned down by dragons.
Robb turned into a Wolf and tried to kill Walder Frey.

>> No.21858156

I like how NOBODY in the North is dumb enough to buy that shit.
Lord Manderly was a big, silly fat guy, but goddamn, he baked this dude's kids into a fucking pie and fed it to him straight-faced, holy fucking shit.

>> No.21858178

Oh my bad: he didn't just feed it to them with a straight face, he also laughed about it, made his minstrel sing a song about a cook who makes his guests eat people, and happily dug right in to the pie along with everyone else.

>> No.21858181

Best 'soldier' in Westeros, yet Randyll Tarly almost got smashed when he ambushed Robett Glover and Helman Tallhart at Duskendale with Gregor's troops in tow. Sure they wiped out a Northern force (that was being undermined by Roose Bolton anyway) but they apparently took 'heavy' losses in the effort despite outnumbering and out-maneuvering those poor guys. Which is one of the reasons I put Robett Glover and Helman Tallhart in the list of northern badasses who are either never described doing anything or die very uninformative deaths.

I swear he only has that reputation for bloodying Robert's nose in the rebellion in that not-even-a-battle battle and just 'cause he's a fucking asshole.

At least Stannis beat the Greyjoys at their own game and still almost won at Blackwater if not for Florent incompetence and Tyrion.

Also, what he did at the Wall was pretty badass but given that the free folk aren't really much of an organized army it's not too big of a deal. All I'm waiting for now is for him to beat the shit out of Roose Bolton at WF because he deserves it and I want Manderly to live.

>> No.21858204

It's a whole thing in Westeros: nobody's as awesome as everyone says they are, and they tend to be called awesome because they have very rich friend helping them get famous.

>> No.21858208

He didn't eat it himself. It was the only meal he didn't take part of, if i recall correctly.

>> No.21858223

*dish, not meal

>> No.21858239


You retard...those aren't rumors, those are mostly sayings and blatant propaganda in which not a single noble of westerors would believe.

>> No.21858240

Robb's army also started to turn into werewolves during the Red Wedding with the Freys and Bolton barely protecting themselves.

He SERVED the food too, danced around like a fabulous fat faggot because his last son was safe. He wouldnt pull that shit if Tywin was alive, and even said that, but now that he is, All bets and pants are off. Bolton distrusted the shit out of him

>> No.21858250


Does anyone else think Roose Bolton is awesome? Evil as fuck, but his scenes in ADWD were my favorite in the book, especially any scene with him and Ramsay. I laughed out loud when Ramsay goes IF I SKIN HER TO MAKE A PAIR OF BOOTS WILL SHE ABIDE ME THEN and Roose calmly explains that human skin is inferior quality leather. Also "I am not a man to be undone, ser" is a badass line.

>> No.21858267

Yeah, Manderly wasn't very subtle about what he did, but Jesus Christ that is easily one of the most vindictive things done to someone in the books so far that didn't involve rape.
>"I hope you enjoy the feast Lord Bolton. I know I will!"

>> No.21858297

Roose Bolton is a fantastic villain.
I like it when Ramsey was all "Nuh-uh, I don wanna" and Roose just give him the "It's funny how you think you have a choice in this" speech.

>> No.21858306

No, he ate every bite from everything.
Bolton watched him the entire time, and Manderly Knew.

He's awesome yet a complete ass. Walked around the woods, saw a fine honey, Killed her husband and raped her there. He liked her moxey when she came back with his bastard in court, paid her and gave her Reek.

>> No.21858319

Also, he gets away with wearing pink and nobody says anything to him about it.

>> No.21858370


And whispering at people all the time instead of talking normally so they have to lean in just to hear what he's saying. And being constantly covered in leeches. This guy is so scary that it literally does not matter how much of a creep he is, no one is calling him out.

>> No.21858409

He seemed pleasant enough while Domeric was alive. I wonder how different things would be if his actual son was alive ;_;

I really wanted him to be the 'token evil bannerman' of the North that still remained loyal no matter what.


Wonderful villain though.

>> No.21858434

He seemed pleasant because he didn't seen any opportunities to do some good back-stabbery.
He's basically an opportunist and a sociopath: he sees a reasonable and actually plausible chance to seize power without too much risk, and he takes it.
He was loyal because then it was most profitable to be loyal to Robb Stark. Now it's most profitable to be loyal to himself and the Lannisters.

>> No.21858601

And if he's not really really dead soon, he'll try to snivel up to Petyr when he crowns the like, 4th King of the North? The Vale goes to war, MAYBE.

>> No.21858930

>Randyll Motherfucking Tarly

I laughed so hard I had to put the book down for a minute while i was reading that part. Imagining a beat up Dresden enthusiastically singing that theme brought tears to my eyes.

>> No.21858948

Bear in mind it's also pretty easy to read that Mace and Oberyn poisoned Tywin before his death. They had motive and opportunity, the crossbow just got to him first.

This'd potentially clear Tyrion's name if it came to light.

>> No.21858959

Stannis' ice castle of death is going to be pretty great, no lie.

>> No.21858976

Littlefinger is so fucking dead. Too much shit invested in his creepy Sansa thing, too many people also invested in Sansa.

Shit he even hired a mercenary knight looking for her and has no fucking idea about it.

>> No.21858984

Entirely possible it's just a ruse, although I dobut Martin would miss the chance to main his glorious knight. It's basically a metaphor for the series.

>> No.21858998

Manderly's going to die regardless of who wins that battle, even if he survives that battle. Something wrong in his gut bro.

>> No.21859025

It's essentially implied he's exactly the same as Ramsay are far as sadism (masochism too, though, the leeches) goes, he's just better at keeping a lid on it. Think he ever really stopped flaying?

>> No.21859669


God that looks like Leon...

>> No.21860001

Thanks for delivering, /tg/.
>curious nyshar
House Nyshar has a cool ring to it.

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