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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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21570504 No.21570504 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

>tell girlfriend and her friends I would like to play some board games
>"Sure! I love board games, what do you want to play?"
>I dunno, how about Catan or Axis and Allies (all 3 versions I own), or Imperialism?
>"Eww, I hate those games, they require thought."
>mfw
>What would you like to play?
>"I love Sorry!"
>mfw redux

/tg/, do you know of any good places to play board games online?

Specifically I would love to play Axis and Allies with some people, but other options are always available.

On another note, anyone play Napoleon in Europe? I had a 3 MONTH game with my father in that game years ago, and we played at least 4 hours every week.

>> No.21570625

>implying you have a girlfriend

>> No.21570716

>>21570625
>implying I don't keep her around just for the tits
>implying the previous statement wasn't a lie and I'm actually in love with her

>> No.21570747

>Sorry

They still make that?
People actually enjoy playing it?
What the fuck.

>> No.21570775

>>21570747

These people are 24-26 year olds as well.

Don't ask me anon, I don't fucking get it. I tell them let's play a game and all they ever want to play is Sorry, Uno or fucking Wii party games.

It's a dark path to suicide that I'm on.

>> No.21570776

>play board games online?
>good

Pick one. I mean, if you're not going to play with people around a table, what's the point? Most local hobby gaming stores host board-game nights, and there are likely a few groups in your area if you're willing to ask around on boardgamegeek.

>> No.21570796

>>21570776

I for one find that Diplomacy actually works better online than in person. That's probably the only example I can think of, though.

>> No.21570816

Consider trying different games out. Sometimes it's small differences that can mean a lot.

Even games that ostensibly seem the same can generate a lot of different sorts of enthusiasm (Resistance vs. Bang vs. Shadow Hunters, or Tanto Cuore vs. Dominion, or Catan vs. Puerto Rico, etc.)

Sometimes a small shift in theme or mechanics makes all the difference. I've got friends say they don't like strategy-heavy games, but they'll happily play Werewolf-style games that are heavy on identity deduction, or co-operative games like Pandemic.

People are not always very precise at identifying what they don't enjoy about a game. Consider trying alternatives.

>> No.21570856

>>21570816
Monopoly vs. Hotel.

>> No.21570875

>dat feel when my girlfriend is an engineer
>dat feel when she is terrible at math but great physics
>dat feel when she's a radical christian who doesn't believe in nuclear decay
>dat feel when I'm a nuclear engineer

My life is a contradiction of epic proportions.

>> No.21570882

>>21570796
>I for one find that Diplomacy actually works better online than in person
That's because you have trouble lying to people's faces and betraying them while they're in the room. It's a character flaw you should work on.

>> No.21570887

>>21570856

Actually, I prefer Acquire over Monopoly myself.

As for >>21570504, the first recommendation that comes to mind is perhaps Incan Gold. It's a fun party-friendly game that's fairly simple.

If they enjoy Uno, maybe other card games might be worthwhile?

>> No.21570912

>>21570882

You don't actually have to lie or make betrayals in Diplomacy to win. You can always word your promises in such a way that they are limited in time and scope, and abide by them (ex. I'll ally with you for the next 3 turns, I'll help you until I get Constantinople, etc.).

>> No.21570920

>>21570875
That's weird...

>>21570887
I prefer Hotel. Somehow it just has a nicer feel all around to it.

>> No.21570923

>>21570875

Your girlfriend has great physics, you say? I wouldn't mind photographic evidence of that, dear sir.

>> No.21570933

>>21570875
>a radical christian who doesn't believe in nuclear decay
Wait, what? What does the Bible say about nuclear decay?

>>21570775
Acquire other friends for boardgaming purposes. Try to strike the right balance between nerdiness and full-on-neckbeardedness.

>> No.21570940

>>21570923
Yes, her physical traits are great

>> No.21570945

Have you tried something cooperative? My wife is hard pressed to play anything competitive but she loves Arkham Horror and Zombicide due to the fact that it's we play together toward a common goal.

>> No.21570953

First, A&A is a pretty shit game, all things considered.
Second, the subclass of person interested in games that take 6+ hours is tiny.
Third, look up Tabletop with Will Wheaton on youtube if you haven't already, it's an awesome show and you should watch it with your gf.

>> No.21570961

>>21570816

My game repertoire is not huge at the moment as I'm not in a fiscal situation where I should be spending money on games.

However, the ones I've tried:

Catan (girlfriend actually likes it, just the friends hate it)
Axis and Allies
A and A Pacific
A and A Europe
Lionheart
History of Empires
Imperialism
Napoleon in Europe
Can't remember the name without going to my storage unit, but it's a hex-based American Civil War game
Fucking Scrabble

They hate Scrabble. There is no reasoning with these people. That's what I've tried so far.

>>21570875

Sir, I have no words for your pain.

>>21570882

Honestly, I just have a hard time finding 6 other people that want to play diplomacy all at the same time. I'm sure you understand.

>>21570887

I don't like card games nearly as much. It's something I'm willing to try, but with the exception of Pit, I'm not very fond of it.

>> No.21570966

>>21570933
>Wait, what? What does the Bible say about nuclear decay?
Fossils are in the ground and are dated by the decay of elements into other elements. This is called a half life, it is a form of nuclear decay.

She says that nuclear decay is wrong.

>> No.21570968

>>21570923
It's actually an exclamation used by atheist scientists in place of 'Good God!'. In this case, it refers to anon's girlfriend's comely appearance.

>Great physics!

>> No.21570987

>>21570933

>a radical christian who doesn't believe in nuclear decay
>Wait, what? What does the Bible say about nuclear decay?

If nuclear decay is to be believed than carbon 14 dating would invalidate the biblical time frame for creation.

>> No.21571018

>>21570966
>>21570987
Ah, got it. Hehehe, literal readings of the Bible are funny...

>> No.21571032

>>21570987
What I don't get is why religious people can't just handwave it, obviously the dino fossils were put in by god as a practical joke to screw with archeologists.

>> No.21571038

>>21570966
>>21570987
Well actually time itself is measured wrong, and so is our measure of distance.

Atomic clocks work off the vibration of atoms from light waves, and small nuclear force that drives nuclear decay, is the same thing as electromagnetism.

This means that our measure of time is off, which we use to measure distance. 1 meter is 1/(3*10^8) seconds of light travel in a vacuum.

>> No.21571073

>>21570961
You might want to try something that's not an all out war game (or Catan)

>> No.21571113

My girlfriend doesn't like playing with me because I don't play to win, but rather, I play to win while making everyone lose more.

Aint no casual shit up in here.

>> No.21571134

>>21570961
This is not what I call a DIVERSE list of games by any means.

You have 3 reskins of the SAME GAME. And Axis & Allies is only marginally better than Risk, in my book.

The remaining 5 are also historical, conflict focused, area control wargames. You essentially have 8 of the same type of game. Of course they're not going to be interested in any of these, they're all a fairly similar flavour.
They're not being unreasonable - you're the one who hasn't actually given them any different ideas of what board-games can be about; your list severely lacks any real flavour other than variations on the historic wargame theme.

Consider co-operatives like Pandemic, or other Euros with friendly themes like Ticket to Ride, or card-based games like Citadels.

>> No.21571136

>>21571032
They can handwave it... presumably that's why anon's girlfriend is still able to do physics. 'For practical purposes this model I'm using makes sense and is consistent with the data, and I can discover things this way, but really I know that A Wizard Did It'.

>> No.21571144

>>21571113
That's why I'm banned from play anything that isn't a bard and Lawful Good in DnD with my group.

I win DnD.

>> No.21571149

>>21571073

Recommendations?

I just want something that requires strategy and forethought. I hate heavily luck based games with no discernible learning curve.

>>21571113

I like you. I wouldn't want to play with you, but I like you.

>> No.21571198

>>21570961
>>21571134

Since you noted that your financials don't allow you to get a new game, in this case your only real option is to get a different set of players, or find a board-game group where you can pool the games you all own together.
I have a number of friends who own board games, and we're generally in touch with each other about our purchases and try to make sure we don't overlap too much.
Most of our boardgaming interests tend to already be within their own niches (one guy likes off-the-wall silly games, another likes Euros, another has Japanese imports, and so on and so forth), so most of the time we end up owning different games, but at the same time we've got a group of players to play them together.

>> No.21571199

>>21571134

Lionheart and the Civil War one are completely different than the other wargames. They have no resource management and have no overarching strategy, it's all tactics. Furthermore, Imperialism is not a war game. It may have war as a central focus, but it's not a war game.

I'm not saying that's not what I lean towards, I'm simply saying that when our tastes are so radically different, I have no clue where to bridge the gap.

>> No.21571210

>>21571136
She does handwave it, until I proved this>>21571038 to her, and her complete understand of physics unraveled and she FLIPPED THE FUCK OUT

>> No.21571228

>I hate thought!
The sex can't be worth it, OP. It never is. Because even if it's great, it's time lost you could've spent looking for someone better.

>> No.21571232

>>21571198

I can't buy new games right now, but that doesn't mean my girlfriend can't or wont. In addendum, the point of this thread was not to recommend new games to me. That said, I'm not adversely disposed to recommendations.

>>21571210

So why are you with her?

>> No.21571258

>>21571149

Many recommendations have already been given. You can check boardgamegeek for more in-depth coverage:

-Incan Gold (wagering/risk-management mechanic)
-Acquire (abstract stock-management game)
-Hotels (less abstract than Acquire, more in-depth than Monopoly)
-Pandemic (Co-operative; play as doctors trying to stop epidemics)
-Ticket to Ride (build railways over America and become a railroad tycoon)

Some of these games are also proxy-able; in the sense that the original editions are out of print and you can find the rules online. You can make your own components.

>> No.21571261

>>21571232
Sex.

She used to be a devote christian girl that wouldn't have sex till marriage.

Took me 30 minutes to get in her pants when we were alone.

She gets more wet than Niagara Falls

>> No.21571274

>>21571149

Dominion is fairly straight forward on that regard but still forgiving to rookies. It's a build-a-deck game that comes with several little bundles of cards that can be combined to make a deck. You have to use cards to gain more turns, to make more money, to purchase victory points.

>> No.21571275

>>21571228
Not being into reasonably complex board games =/= hating thought. I'm sure I could find you plenty of geniuses who wouldn't want to sit down and play Axis & Allies with you.

>> No.21571290

You may also want to try hidden identity games like the aforementioned Bang!/Shadow Hunters/Resistance.

But really, the best recommendation is to find a board gaming group. Get some exposure to different games and what else people are playing before you buy yourself.

>> No.21571380

>>21571258

I go to boardgamegeek frequently, but always get paralyzed for fear of buyers remorse. My version of Diplomacy is home-made. I'll check out Incan Gold, Acquire (which I read about before but dismissed), and Pandemic.

I played Ticket to Ride and had a horrible experience. It will never enter my home again.

>>21571228

I'm not in it for the sex, which is good, but the girl really is great. She's devoted, selfless, has my best interest in mind, loving, responsible, non-clingy and makes good money. She just doesn't have hobbies. Other than that wrinkle, she's the perfect partner.

>>21571261

How long have you been with her? Furthermore, is it really that amazing to stay with her?

>>21571274

I'll check it out.

>>21571275

Well, on one hand you're right and on the other hand he is right. She did say that she likes "mindless games" because she doesn't like to think when she's having fun and relaxing. Whatever the fuck that means.

>>21571290

Word. I'll check them out.

>> No.21571414

>>21571380
>How long have you been with her? Furthermore, is it really that amazing to stay with her?

Since when I made her break up with her ex-boyfriend to be with me, about a month ago. He sexually assaulted her

It's pretty nice, I'm going Dr. House on her and breaking her religion slowly.

>> No.21571437

OP, you should see if there is a FATAL boardgame.

>> No.21571450

> shooting the shit with friends
> begin discussing Frasier with one
> another interjects, ending the flow of the discussion
> "I hate that show. You've gottta think to laugh."

> shooting the shit with other friends almost a year later
> talk'n vidya
> me and another agree that ODST was pretty cool, because you felt more 'mortal.' More limited and vulnerable.
> another friend loudly interjects:
> "ODST is shit man. Seriously, who fucking wants to be made out of tissue paper? It takes like a million hits to kill anything, and you die in like one. It's bullshit."
> I say to him, "we we acutally just saying how we enjoyed those qualities."
> he responds, (very loudly, in the commons) "Wow, what a couple of faggots you must be then. "
We were 23, 22, and 24 respectively.

There is always one I suppose.

>> No.21571482

>>21571450
He should play Dark Souls

>> No.21571494

>>21571414
>breaking her religion slowly
You should rather bring it to a reasonable level, if possible and see where she goes from there.

>>21571380
My girlfriend is similar. Except she's somewhat clingy.
And she would also play games that are not entirely mindless like trivial pursuit. (better than UNO all day long)
She always complains when I wanna watch documentaries, though. "When I come home from work I want to relax and not have to listen to all this shit." ... She was like that during and after school too, so much for "after work".

And then she gets angry when I don't wanna watch white-trash-tv to laugh about those people with her.
And something on topic: OP, what about having a light start with them with really casual board games that even they might enjoy? See where it goes from there.

>> No.21571502

>>21571494
I'm just trying to go for Deist level at least.

First time I dropped it on her, she almost started crying. I'm gonna just slowly break it from now on.

>> No.21571513

>>21571414

Bro, I went through a time I called "The Summer of the Crazy Christian Girls".

There was one that fucked me, "So I could see the light of the Lord."

There was one that lied about not being a virgin and told me that "You need to marry me because you've ruined me for other men."

There are more stories, but those are the highlights. It's not worth it my friend, I promise. The sex might be great but in general Christfags are batshit insane unless they are extremely quiet about their faith.

>>21571450

Those feels man, I know those feels.

Except liking ODST. I attempted to get as many of my friends to NOT buy it as possible and laughed when they felt cheated by a half-assed project. It had potential, but had the depth of a puddle.

>>21571482

Most overrated "hardcore" game I've ever played, in my opinion.

>>21571494

Define these "casual boardgames", please.

>> No.21571527
File: 79 KB, 310x272, police bro laugh.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21571527

>>21570504
>they require thought."

>> No.21571540

>>21571450
> "I hate that show. You've gottta think to laugh."
>Fraser
JESUS FUCK IT HAS A GODDAMNED LAUGH TRACK. IT ACTUALLY PINPOINTS THE JOKE FOR YOU.

>> No.21571582

>>21571502
>trying to make people lose their faith
>2012
I'm an atheist, but I recognise it would be pretty cool to believe in life after death, and it would kinda suck to stop believing in it. I say as long as she isn't trying to blow up abortion clinics, live and let believe in crazy shit.

>> No.21571619

>>21571582
I'd rather see the world gain one more person who realizes that one hand working does more than ten million clasped in prayer.

>> No.21571639

>>21571513
Well, considering you like strategy and progression-heavy games, maybe a light version of that?
As was said earlier already, Hotel(s) is (to me at least) a lighter version of monopoly. So a tiny bit of strategy is needed there and some progression.
In that game you can also play no-thoughts-at-all and probably still win. I understand you don't like luck-based games, but it would be a start at least.

Maybe some adventure-like board games?
Or even a trivial pursuit (although they probably dont wanna think...) style game where you have to rack up answers to win.

Sorry, I'm really no board game guru.

>> No.21571654

>Playing Axis and Allies casually

The fuck are you doing nigger?

That shit takes like 8 hours to even get going. You need commitment.

>> No.21571669

>"Eww, I hate those games, they require thought."
I always wondered how the rest of /tg/ got girlfriends.

>> No.21571682

>>21571619
>implying Christians don't work
Do you even Protestant Work Ethic and the Spirit of Capitalism?

>> No.21571686

>>21571513

If you want to be mindless-applicable, you might want to be careful with Pandemic, unless they're okay with being bossed around. From what I've seen, Pandemic is either heavy planning from all the players, or one guy pulling everyone every which way and telling them what to do.

>> No.21571704

>>21571639
>Hotel(s) is (to me at least) a lighter version of monopoly

Dude, I've never played Hotels, but Monopoly is pretty damn light to me. Other than basic property management, it seems pretty thoughtless. So what do you mean by a lighter version?

>>21571669

Meaning?

>>21571654

Bro, It's 6 hours max.

>> No.21571713

>fun mindless games
Why has nobody mentioned Hungry Hungry Hippos?

>> No.21571739

>>21571704
>Bro, It's 6 hours max.
Unless everybody gives up, I'd say the first game is likely to be at least that. And that's still quite a time commitment. It's the entire Star Wars trilogy back-to-back.

>> No.21571750

>>21571713

Or Perfection? Or Operation, Mouse Trap, hell, even 13 Dead End Drive if you can find the original instead of the remake.

Go for kitschy, OP.

>> No.21571758

>>21571713
>Hungry Hungry Hippos
Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots, you filthy casual.

>> No.21571762

>>21571704
It might just that it feels like that for me.

But in Hotels you just have to buy a property (land on the correct spot) and then build something on it (land on the right spot again...) before someone buys that piece of land for half the price from you.
You don't need to have 3 properties to start building, so theres no trading them. You have a plot of land? Good, as soon as you land the correct spot you can build there.

It's basically monopoly with singe-property-streets, without special fields like train stations, without random events. (or at least it has 2-3 possible events on the field.)

>> No.21571765

>>21571713

Lulz. Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots while we're at it.

>>21571758

FUCK. Ninja'd me.

>>21571739

Yeah, it's a commitment, but I think it's a reasonable way to spend an afternoon.

>> No.21571773

If your group's straight outta plebland, try King of Tokyo, OP. Quick to learn and with a cool premise (monsters duking it out in Swaziland).

>> No.21571870

>>21571765
You wanna teach your... less than nerdy girlfriend and her friends Axis and Allies? Nigga, that 6 hours would probably make you want to kill everyone in the room.

That game made MY head hurt.

>> No.21571911

>>21571870

How do you find it difficult to understand? I get it if you don't like it, but you think it's hard to grasp?

It's got something like a 25 page rulebook with 5 pages being detailed examples. Why is it so difficult for you?

>> No.21572016

>>21571911
It's unit management on a large scale, movement, reinforcement. Add the cards and the faction abilities and you've got a hell of a lot more complicated version of Risk.

I never said it was hard to grasp, I said it was a massive pain to learn to play quickly. If you're playing with a game of newbies, you're going to be taking 20 minutes a turn, to your 5. Plus you'll probably be playing for them.

>> No.21572078

>>21572016

Ehh. I'm willing to take that risk (hehe) to expose first timers.

That said, it's not my favorite game by far, it's just something my father and I used to play when I was a kid.

>> No.21572131
File: 114 KB, 620x349, Harper Bitch Please.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21572131

>>21570953
>First, A&A is a pretty shit game, all things considered.

>> No.21572145

>>21570504

Find a good light board game to play with her to ease her in. Something like Ticket to Ride or Balloon Cup. There are plenty of them out there.

If you can get 4 players there are tons of great light 4 player games, maybe a Co-Op like Pandemic.

Also, Axis and Allies is bad, don't subject her to that. Get Risk Legacy and 5 people instead.

>> No.21572169

>>21572145
>Axis and Allies is bad
No.

>> No.21572195

>>21572145
>Risk Legacy

Seriously? Did you serious suggest that bullshit to me?

On an unrelated to /tg/ note, I live in a house with 3 women. They've been bitching and moaning downstairs for hours now. I don't want to leave my room because they are going to want me to talk to them. I'm slowly starving to death. It's been 28 hours since I've eaten anything other than pretzel sticks and v8 juice.

What do?

>> No.21572213

>>21572195

Of course, it's an amazing unique game if you aren't an OCD faggot.

>> No.21572227

>>21572195

Go, and if they attempt to rope you into conversation, start fake-crying a little and admit it's the anniversary of your dog's/grandma's/favored uncle's death, and that you're very sad and just want to eat some mac and cheese and be alone for the day.

>> No.21572249

>>21572227
They'll wanna talk to you for sure then... too risky

>>21572195
Can you climb out the window? Or if they start talking to you, mention you gotta make a call really fast or forgot something important in your room.

>> No.21572251

>>21572213

I want a game that I can play with more than the same 4 people. I'm sorry.

>>21572227

But they are women. And I can hear crying and someone said something about someone stealing $3. I can't take this shit anymore, man.

>> No.21572287

>>21572251
Start putting man-hormones in their tea.

>> No.21572291

>>21572249

I don't think you grasp how terrifying it is when you spend 90% of your daily interactions with women. It's goddamn exhausting, man.

Has anyone else noticed that when women are upset or try to argue with you, they just repeat the same point verbatim over and over? Christ, it's like there is a Women's Universal Debate Team and that's the only fucking technique they have taught for generations.

>> No.21572295

>>21572251

Alright, when was the last time you showered? Maybe you can do some calisthenics in your room until you properly stink, and if they want anything, you can request stinky man-hugs to make it better?

>> No.21572343

>>21572195
Put your iPod (or other MP3) head phones in your ears. Your ipod doesn't have to be on, and you don't even need to own one. Put the jack to the headphones in your pocket. Go downstairs and get some goddamn food before you die of scurvy. If they talk at you then just ignore them. If they bitch to you about it later then just say you were really into that song (album, artist, etc)

>> No.21572351

>>21572291
Just head out the door as fast as you can and if they try to converse you, say "sorry, Dan's car broke down on the highway, gotta hurry"

Then go eat a giant burger with bacon for me please.


and yes, i know how tiresome women are.

>> No.21572354

>>21572291
yeah, you get used to saying " your beating a dead horse"
and "I thought we had we had resolved that"
and also "yeah but moving forward...."

It's less them being females and more them being humans.

>> No.21572369

>>21572354
or " so wut."
and "yeah, so?"

>> No.21572385

>>21572251

Understandable if you do not have a regular group. But with 5 reliable people, it's great.

I still would not put someone who is not that into board games through Axis and Allies. I wouldn;t even put them through something like Fortress America which is similar and far better. There are lots of other better introductory board games out there, try a few different ones and see which ones she enjoys. Then slowly segway into heavier ones. I wouldn't start with anything heavier than say a Smallworld or Dominion.

>> No.21572460

>>21572295

About 36 hours since the last shower, yeah, I'm starting to build up some musk.

>>21572343

But they wave and get in front of me and "want a guy's opinion".

>>21572354

I've found that with the majority of intelligent males, if you make a well-formed, logical argument that refutes their position, they will accept it, if not necessarily agree. It has no fucking effect on females. None. You may as well tell them to roll for anal circumference and it would have the same result. Once a woman makes up her mind, she ignores all other possibilites.

>>21572385

Can you tell me about Smallworld?

>> No.21572487
File: 6 KB, 200x315, Putin is not impressed.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21572487

Can you bros recommend me some competitive/story based tactical board/story games?

>> No.21572496

Oh, and I can't be a complete dick to these girls as one of them is my landlord and is rather... forgiving about my rent payments.

>>21572351

I would love a meal that I don't have to cook, but such is the plight of the broke man.

>> No.21572505

Get a new fucking girlfriend, OP.

If playing risk is too mentally straining for her then you shouldn't be with her.

>> No.21572577

>>21572505

Where did I say that she couldn't play Risk?

I hate risk because all it is is a glorified dice rolling mechanic. The gameplay is as one-dimensional as possible. I would argue that checkers has more strategy.

And I fucking hate checkers

>> No.21572638

>>21572460

Basically you draft races and special powers and then use your units to take over territories.

It's a fantasy setting.

You score points for each space you control each turn, and more points depending on your race/power, like Humans score more on plains, Orcs can kill other units easier, Elves are immortal, etc.

It has a limited number of turns which keeps game length reasonable, and scaling map sizes so it plays just as well with 2, 3, 4, and 5 players.

It is a fairly light game overall, but there is a good bit of depth behind it.

Honeslty a game I would recommend to anyone with a remote interest in fantasy setting.

>> No.21572676

>>21572638

Oh, there is very little luck involved. You only roll at the most one dice each turn: for your very last attack. So it's a 1-2 point difference a turn at most, when it's possible to be scoring 10+ points a turn overall.

>> No.21572704

>>21572638
>>21572676

I've also wanted to get her into RPG's as well, this seems like a great jumping off point. She likes the LoTR movies quite a bit, but has no fantasy background other than that. This may help expose her to some tropes. Thanks for the recommendation.

>> No.21572818

Ticket to Ride and Cargo Noire are pretty good games.

Both are pretty easy to play but have some good room for advanced strategy.

>> No.21572910

I have never finished a game of Axis and Allies. One side always gives up first.

I keep telling them, "maybe we should play with some of the lesser victory conditions. Get the game over faster"

"No anon, we must play for total victory. TOTAL VICTORY"

It always plays out one of two ways.

1: Axis work together against russia and capture moscow in the opening stages of the war. Britain gets scared and turtles the fuck up with a billion infantry in the home islands. Russia starts bitching and moaning about how he's bored. America does fuck all and never deploys its navy because "if I wait a turn, I can add an extra few battleships." Its like playing that one kid in MtG who refuses to attack until he's assembled an army consisting of every god damn creature in his deck. Allies quit once they realize that the axis will EVENTUALLY kill the infantry faster than Britain can produce them.

2: Britain and Russia realize that russian meat shield + RAF = HOLY SHIT defense. RAF bombing/rockets limit german armor production. German player rage-quits once he realizes that his forces will forever be stuck just outside the gates of moscow. Japan....I don't know what japan is doing. Trying to out-build america? Its not important. Neither one of them deploy any forces before the game dies.

It would help if it didn't take them 30 minutes to take each turn. Its like they don't pay attention when it isn't their turn. Their turn rolls around and suddenly they need to think really hard about what they want to build and what they want to attack. Obviously you need to adjust your plans based on recent enemy action, but 95% of the planning should have been done before your turn ever rolls around.

>> No.21572932

>asking to Catan with your girlfriend
>and her friends
My, you're a bold one OP.

>> No.21572934

>>21572910

With most casual gamers I've played with, that is indeed the result.

>> No.21572946

>>21572932

Or should I just have her be the table?

>> No.21572950

>>21572932
His aura is indeed momentous.

>> No.21572951

>>21572910
>Japan....I don't know what japan is doing.
well there's your mistake. Japan should be outproducing everyone but the US by turn 3 at the latest and bleeding the USSR of its eastern provinces if Germany hasn't taken Moscow by then, all the while threatening the US to keep it from focusing on Europe.
Seriously, Japan is the lynch pin in the Axis

>> No.21572955

>>21572946
Oh fuck, that story.

>> No.21573011
File: 341 KB, 675x4241, strange game of catan.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21573011

>>21572955

>> No.21573021
File: 340 KB, 675x4241, catan.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21573021

>>21572955
you can run, but you can't hide.

your aura is far too momentous

>> No.21573025

>>21572487

Twilight Imperium
A Game of Thrones 2nd Edition
Twilight Struggle
Eclipse
Battlelore
Command and Colours
Memoir '44
Fortress America
Chaos in the Old World
Dune (or the Twilight Imperium-themed reprint, Rex: Final Days of an Empire)
War of the Ring
Diplomacy
The Succession Wars (for added fun, combine with regular Battletech miniatures gaming)

That should get you started.

>> No.21573142

>>21572951
Preaching to the choir here man. I realize that my group is extremely bad at Axis and Allies.

>> No.21573981

>>21570504
OP, nobody has said it yet, but how about trying some fem shit. The chick gamers I know love carcassonne, dominion, thurn and taxis. The chick non gamers I know love apples to apples and dixit.

>> No.21573999

>>21573981
Also shadows over camelot. How did I forget that. It has co-op for everyone, and nifty traitor mechanics to give it beef.

>> No.21574119
File: 27 KB, 512x384, hank hill horrified.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21574119

>>21573011
>>21573021

>> No.21574142

>>21573021
Is there more to this story? Did he go back? Is the girl okay? Holy shit what the fuck

>> No.21574216

>>21574142
>>21574119
Hm...and here I was thinking that everyone knew Do you Catan.

>> No.21574335

>>21574216
Didn't know about it, but Plouton sounds suspiciously like someone I know...

>> No.21574439
File: 8 KB, 150x204, CommunistJimProfit1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21574439

Apples To Apples, best board game ever.

>Shy
>Ann Frank
>lulz ensues

>> No.21574454

>>21573011
>>21573021
Catanmind! Both of you have momentous auras.

>> No.21574486

>>21574142
I choose to believe the story is fictional, but this may be because I've led a sheltered life generally free of really weird people.

>> No.21574550

>>21573011
This is probably my all-time favourite /tg/ pasta. It's properly well-written.

Also
>yfw when you realise it actually says 'monumentous', not 'momentous'

>> No.21574653
File: 6 KB, 150x155, apple.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21574653

>>21574439
Aw hell yeah.
That game is hilarious!

There is always one player in the group who actually tries to play the game seriously

>> No.21574681

>>21574439
Naw man, play Cards against humanity. It's Apples to Apples if the designers hadn't tried to make it family friendly.

>> No.21574792

>>21574681
some of the cards against humanity cards are alright, but far too many of them a lame sex jokes. It cheapens the game and makes it feel like it was made by that weird pervert kid from highschool.

>Pac man uncontrollably guzzling cum
^That is seriously one of the cards. Who thinks that is funny? /d/?

I'll stick with the PURE WHOLESOME HILARITY of apples to apples.

>> No.21574829

>>21574439

Not sure how Apples to Apples is a board game, but I digress. Best session I've ever played ended in a draw.

The prompt was Useless.

2 players played Anne Franke and Helen Keller.

We had to call the game.

>> No.21574852

>>21574792
I dunno, playing the 'holocaust' card on a jewish guy who'd played 'how I will die' just made it. Some are a little goofy, but hey. Better than apples to apples, where 80-90% of the cards aren't offesnsive at all.

>> No.21574855

>Flash Duel.
It's short, easy to get into and you can play several rounds in, like, 15 minutes.
Also cutesy characters.
>Cash and guns (4+ people only)
It doesn't require thinking, it's short, it's fun.

>> No.21574903

>>21574792
>>21574792
Some cards only work with certain other cards so it cheapens the game. Some of the cards also get somewhat juvenile as you've said (it's aroused, not amused for /d/). Honestly, it'd be nice if I could order custom cards for the production version since I don't really want to use the blanks for hobbyist reasons

>> No.21574938

>>21570504
cont. >>21574855
also i think the problem isn't "it requires thinking". All your board games are grand strategy ones and some people just don't have patience to play them for fun.

>> No.21574962

>>21574852

>Better than apples to apples, where 80-90% of the cards aren't offesnsive at all.

But that's the whole point; Playing Apples to Apples "offensively" is far more rewarding and hilarious because that's now how it's meant to be played.

Cards Against Humanity just feels like it's trying to hard to be edgy and cool. Kinda like Family Guy.

>> No.21574969

>>21574938

I've been gone for a few hours and just got back. As I said earlier in the thread, I like games with strategy and planning. I'm not saying that's the best niche or that they should all like what I like. The "I don't like thinking" were her words, not mine.

>> No.21575101

>>21574969
well, sometimes you got to compromise. Huge 8+ hours strategy games are pretty niche.

...for similar, but easier approach try smallworld maybe?

>> No.21575460

>>21575101

I think I am definitely going to give Smallworld a chance.

Why can't I like things that are popular?

>> No.21575518

Me and my friends love small world, but we changed the rule about waiting one turn between declining one race and choosing another. makes the games more fun.

>> No.21575566

>Ctrl F
>Board game online
>0 Results

Seriously guys? I hope one of you cocked up the name, because fuck Im not reading this thread
But for your benefit
Its an online game that simulates the crazy bullshit that happens in games, alot of fun too


http://www.boardgame-online.com/

>> No.21575574

>>21575460
Because many popular things suck, because their popularity is due to their appeal to the lowest common denominator rather than quality

>> No.21575591

>>21575566

Thanks.

>>21575574

Wisdom.

>> No.21575675

>Catan
>Axis and Allies
>Thinking

Don't make me laugh. Try playing Agricola, Dominion, 7 wonders, Puerto Rico, Power Grid, Race for the Galaxy or any real game.

>> No.21575856

>>21575675

Negro, you misunderstanding the thread. This isn't trying to nerd-off, it's trying to get girls into moderately skillful games.

>> No.21575897

>>21575856
I stand by my statement. The games op listed as "thinking games" are barely better than sorry. To the extent that there is strategy, luck easily has a larger impact on the result of the game. They just take longer to play. If you're going to play a game for awhile, and put in the effort, you might as well go for the game with the more rewarding experience.

I've had tons of success getting non-gamers (yes, that means girl non-gamers too) playing agricola, carcassonne, and other games with me. Not wanting to play a ponderous, luck-based wargame or glorified monopoly isn't something I'd fault anyone for.

>> No.21576199
File: 45 KB, 468x417, Hipsters... And Linkara.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21576199

>>21575460
Hmm, are you wearing glasses? If so, are they prescription?

>> No.21576421

Any other suggestions for "games to get plebs into traditional gaming"?

>> No.21576473

>>21575460
I own small world and fell in love with it. Can use as little as 2 people and because of the scaling map size and depending if everyone knows the rules games reliably last 40-80 minutes

>> No.21576684

>>21575897

Your reading comprehension is negligible. I said I like strategy games. SHE said she doesn't like to think. That doesn't necessarily mean that the games I like are "thinking games". It doesn't mean the opposite, either.

Just because A isn't B, doesn't make it C.

>> No.21576694

>>21576199

I wear contacts with glasses only occasionally. My style is non-existant and I couldn't give less of a fuck about vinyl.

>> No.21576813

>>21576684
Generally, most people think strategy games = thinking games AND nonstrategy games = nonthinking games. I was simply informing you that the strategy games you play have all the baggage and none of the payoff that the genre can provide. The girls are right; those games make you think, but they don't give you the payoff for doing so. You'll excuse me for not being a fucking pedantic idiot like you.

>> No.21576833

>>21570796
Hanabi works much better online too.

>> No.21576838

>>21576813

The "payoff" or enjoyment of any game is found completely in the player. You're absurd for suggesting that you can determine which games are "more valuable" from an entertainment standpoint. I see no one being pedantic here. I disagree with your argument, seeing it is based on statements I never said. That is all.

>> No.21576896

>>21570504
Games for non-gamers:

Apples to Apples
Cards Against Humanity
GeistesBlitz
Dixit

>> No.21576932

>>21576838
No, what I said is pretty objective. The payoff I was referring to was having a strategically fun experience with the game, versus some other type of fun (flavor, friends, setting, etc). If you strategize well playing agricola, you will be rewarded for doing so. If you try to strategize during monopoly, there is no payoff. The games you mentioned (Catan, Axis and Allies) give you the option of trying to strategize, but the dice are the most relevant factor in the end. It's very frustrating to do all that thinking for so little gameplay relevance (what I referred to as payoff before). If you're going to do all that thinking, it might as well have an impact on the game.

>> No.21577012

>>21576932
I guess what I was getting at: You're asking them to play games that are way rules heavier and clunkier than the ones they're used to. They have terrible mechanics. If you want them to play strategy games with you, then pick strategy games that hold up mechanically (and are actually, you know, strategy games).

Try Carcassonne. It has around 3 rules, and is surprisingly deep. It's even a bit similar to your area control wargames, without all the terrible aspects.

PS you're still a pedantic idiot for trying to pick at the difference between "strategy" and "thinking" game.

>> No.21577229

>>21572676
>very little luck involved in smallville
Unless someone gets a luck-based race or trait like Berserk (allows you to add dice number of armies to every single one of your attacks every turn)
That guy who gets 9+ armies free from rolling high with that kills the fucking game oh my fucking god.

I enjoyed smallville, but if I buy it I'm removing the luck-based cards from the game. You could have what, 20+ races and 20+ traits even with luck BS removed.

>> No.21577355

>>21576896
>Apples to Apples
ffuuu I hate that game.
Playing Apples to Apples with generic LOLSORANDUMB people is hell itself.
They vote for any words that amuse them no matter how related they are to the word.

The topic may be "Peanut Butter" and they'll vote that the "Michael Jackson" card won... because "they like Michael Jackson"... ignoring anything logical or anything funny like a pun.

>> No.21579151

>>21576421
GURPS

>> No.21579344

>>21576421
Fluxx and all of its variations. Especially this over Munchkin. Such a godawful game. Yes, it requires no thinking, but it takes two hours to play with 4 people.
7 Wonders doesn't take too much though and can be quite simple.
Dixit has been mentioned already
Most Dexterity-based games will probably make them interested. Specifically things like Bunny Bunny Moose Moose or Ugg-Tech.
King of Tokyo or Smash Up are also quite simple
Shadow Hunters is another simple one if you don't mind the animu art and like Special Identites and powers.
For an alternative to Clue, try Inkognito.

more boardgames: boargamegeek.com

>> No.21579407

>>21577355
I've won games off of
>Touchy-feely
>Helen Keller

>> No.21579429

>>21570504
http://kdice.com/

fast paced and simple Risk

>> No.21579455

>>21571762
you forget who ever buys the boomerang first wins
fuck that game

>> No.21579483

>>21579151
As much as I love GURPS (whole my group switched to it and never looked back), I wouldn't suggest it as "babby's first RPG".

I've seen some pic with more fitting games, and there wasn't even D&D in it, so I suppose it is good list. Can someone post it.

>> No.21579660

>>21571682
Protestant work ethic is a fallacy created by Anglo centric Historiographers, Capitalism was way more developed in staunchly Catholic Italy, and spread from there to the Netherlands then from there back to England and the puritans. Because Wool was the oil of the late renaissance. Also Capatalism more devloped from the Fractious nature of Europe than anything Religious the Chinese would have had it way before hand if their government had been more lax in its attitudes toward Confucian ideals.

>> No.21579936

>>21576896
you forgot munchkin, that game is fucking great for average people.

>> No.21580438

>>21570504
>implying Catan or A&A take thought

oh u

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