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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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[ERROR] No.21413336 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

It's Macha time!

>> No.21413340

>>21413336
>Not posting her being depressed and forever alone

>> No.21413343

No, dad! No!

>> No.21413347

She is a sad person and I hope she gets some sex in the future.

>> No.21413348

>>21413340
>Implying Gabriel Mangelos hasn't already claimed her and the rest of Biel-Tan
Yeah, he's killed a lot of them, but that just makes him even more desirable

>> No.21413355

She and Festus would make a lovely couple.

>> No.21413363

Which was the most competent Farseer in dow?

>> No.21413366

Eversors dont make good friends

>> No.21413372

>>21413363
Fire warrior bodyguards killing enemies out past the FOW.

>> No.21413377

Why couldn't she just stay an incompetent and melodramatic farseer? Why did /tg/ have to violate her nonsexually?
>>21413363
Probably none of them. They all fail pretty spectacularly. I guess Taldeer at least survived the length of two/three games.

>> No.21413390

Yeah yeah, Macha will never get laid and all that. More importantly however, how are Taldeer and her mon-keigh boyfriend nowadays? Or Callidus? What about Cultist-chan and Commissar Raege? I really want to know how Cuddles is doing. Until all these people have been checked up on Macha will just have to wait.

>> No.21413401

>>21413377
>Why did /tg/ have to violate her nonsexually?

Thats one phrase I never thought I would hear

>> No.21413403

>>21413363
Only one of them is still alive, not counting the FUCKING RETARDED one in Retribution.

Like seriously, can your prophecy be any shittier? Can you not just come out and just say "Hey don't go killing off Biel-Tan they're helping us out"? Why the hell do you leave all the farseeing to the god damn WARlock?

>> No.21413404

>>21413390
Taldeer and her Mon-Kiegh friend are dead.

Thank you Blood Ravens.

>> No.21413408

It's astounding how incompetent all the farseers were in both dow games. They really suck at doing things just as planned, especially considering that they can see the future.

>> No.21413425

>>21413377
Caerys might have succeeded.

>> No.21413426

>>21413408
they can't, they can only see several possible futures.

>> No.21413429

>>21413403
Relic was lazy hence no voice actor.

>> No.21413435

>>21413403
To be fair, Biel-Tan attacked first and they had their entire Seer Council at the time.

>> No.21413439

I like the tsundere autarch in Retribution.

Fucking Relic must have watched a lot of anime.

>> No.21413446

>>21413336
Macha got some sweet abs!

work'em, baby Macha.

>> No.21413455

>>21413425
True kin..

So Tahril isn't the only one believing in the Blood Feud.

>> No.21413466

>>21413446
That's just the armour (which does a wonderful job of holding in all her flab).

>> No.21413478

>>21413466
Macha tried to be like flabby Taldeer. But she got carried away.

>> No.21413485

>>21413435
>to be fair
Nah, I'm going to blame Elenwe for being a lazy fuck.

I mean, at least Macha and Taldeer end up TELLING people what their prophecies are for when shit is about to hit the fan.

>> No.21413486

why are eldars so fucking fat

>> No.21413493

>>21413486
Actually fluffwise they have NO BODY FAT

SPACE BIOLOGY

>I miss chink on /tg/, even if he is a creepy pedo guro fetishist

>> No.21413497

>>21413425
It never fails to entertain me when I see Eldar females with about 40% of their body volume being boobs. The DoW farseers had about twice as much boob as ass.

>> No.21413506

>>21413493
wouldn't they like need to eat constantly then

they should learn to bulk like huegtau

>> No.21413521

>>21413485
>>21413485
The entire Seer Council of Biel-Tan failed. What chances does one mute Farseer have?

She did her duty by dreaming up the Prophecy. It is the other Eldar's job to work with it. You can't throw all the blame on her, man!

>> No.21413535

>Bout to start drawing me some fat macha to mess with y'all
>Roomie bursts in and demands I drive the trash out to the local dump because he forgot to take it out this morning

Aaaaaaaaaaaugh

But I am back. And Macha shall be hueg.

>> No.21413597

>>21413521
Biel-Tan's seers were kinda busy, though. And it's likely they told the Exarch "fuck anyone who tries to disrupt this ritual", because, well, it's a delicate ritual in a hidden area. And Biel-Tan doesn't really do subtlety.

>You can't throw all the blame on her, man!
She didn't DO anything though! Farseers are like, micromanaging RTS players. They tell people where to go, what to do, and when to do it. Because when altering the future you need to be very precise.

Telling people "hey figure all this shit out on your own. I'm going to go watch my soaps" and not bothering to give them any further input regardless of what they do is like, the most irresponsible thing you can do. It got an entire craftworld's soulstones sent to Slaanesh, for crying out loud.

Elenwe is the worst DoW farseer.

>> No.21413613

>>21413390
>How is Cuddles doing?
I wanna know this. But first I wanna know who Cuddles is.

>> No.21413618

>>21413597
>It got an entire craftworld's soulstones sent to Slaanesh, for crying out loud.
Khorne, actually.

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

>> No.21413623

>>21413535
thanks anon you are a saint

>> No.21413658

>>21413618
Wait a second.

All Eldar souls belong to Slaanesh by default. Khorne has no claim on them.

>> No.21413674

>>21413658
Khorne does as he pleases. And although if left alone an eldar soul will go to Slaanesh, other gods are perfectly capable of taking them for themselves.

>>21413618
Veldoran's comments afterwards made me think Slaanesh got them. But.. well, I guess he did offer the whole subsector to Khorne.

>> No.21413694

>> No.21413706

>>21413694
hurray

>> No.21413707

>>21413674
>Khorne does as he pleases.

Well, I hope he's prepared to get sued in Warp Court. Slaanesh won't let this transgression slide

>> No.21413724

IF KHORNE WANTS SOULSTONES HE WILL GET SOULSTONES AND NO LITTLE FAGGOT WILL STOP HIM.

>> No.21413740

>>21413707
In the end all they can hope for is that their part in Tzeentch's schemes is a beneficial one.

>> No.21413750

>>21413674
Slaanesh will contest that claim and probably succeed in collecting the souls too.

>> No.21413762

>>21413750
>Slaanesh will contest that claim and probably succeed in collecting the souls too.
Khorne is canonically the strongest warp power now that Slaanesh has gotten over it's initial high. Tzeentch is the second most powerful.

Good fucking luck.

>> No.21413765

>>21413750
Khorne is the most powerful Chaos God, Slaanesh is the weakest.

>> No.21413768

>>21413724
Kyras is probably getting buttraped by Juggernauts ever since he faild so spectacularly, not to mention that he's a librarian.

>> No.21413778

>>21413724
What do you think happens to Eldar souls that khorne gets? I imagine it can't be worse than endless Slaaneshi rape torture. Would they get thrown in the arena?

>> No.21413784

>>21413778
Khorne has some bromance for Khaine, so who knows. Some might even become heralds or daemons.

>> No.21413788

>>21413765
Tzeentch is superior to the other three. He's so good that he has to play against himself in the Great Game just to give the others a chance of winning, which they won't unless it's Just As Planned.

>> No.21413809

>>21413778
They should really flesh out the Croneworld Eldar. Maybe some converted to gods other than Slaanesh over the millennia.

>> No.21413823

>>21413768
Abaddon: The warp trembles with rage... even in death, this daemon's power should not be ignored.
Eliphas: I will worry the day I meet him again... and then, only if his power has increased a thousand-fold!

Dialogue was unused, but it suggests that Kyras's ascension was complete, or at least complete enough for him to be capable of returning at a later date.

Also:

>Abaddon: Very good... I believe Gabriel has fallen on Cyrene. Bring him to me! He is the purest of all Blood Ravens. I must break him! I must offer him to the gods!

>> No.21413824

>>21413788
Tzeench is less powerful than Khorne, but has the most victories because he is smart.

>> No.21413837

>>21413824
So he's superior.He can't really lose because that would be part of his plan, and he can't really win because he'd set it up so he'd lose. And it all amounts to him winning constantly because he just keeps getting what he wants.

>> No.21413848

>>21413837
This. Tzeentch is not even playing the same game as the others.

>> No.21413859

>>21413837
Think about the universe for a second.

>Forget the promise of progress and understanding, for in the grim dark future there is only war.
>There is no peace amongst the stars, only an eternity of carnage and slaughter, and the laughter of thirsting gods.

Khorne's winning. Tzeentch is his rival, but he's definitely ahead of the game.

>> No.21413878

>>21413823
Kyras or Maledictus?

Kyras wasn't alone, remember.

>> No.21413899

Looking through the Retribution campaign scripts again, there was one line that made me giggle.

>Veldoran: The damned are the living Eldar of Ulthwé, slain not by wordless cannons, but the silent Necrons.

>Necrons
>silent

>> No.21413903

>>21413809
Do we even have any fluff that confirms their existence for sure? How does it justify the chaos gods not eating them? Also, what do croneworld Eldar even do?

>> No.21413924

>>21413899
The Necron Legions are a silent wave of death, yes.

>> No.21413932

>>21413899
The Necrons are still silent. The Warriors are mute, and Immortals can barely understand the Lord's speeches, let alone speak to any significant degree.

>> No.21413945

>>21413809
>>21413903
They exist in the fluff, but they aren't actually Eldar.

They are consumed souls of Eldar reborn by Slaanesh to serve him. I don't think the other gods can hold any sway over these slaves.

>> No.21413957

>>21413903
I'm looking at Lexicanum and it quotes 4th ed Eldar and Chaos Daemons codices as the most recent mention of Crone Worlds. It also mentions the Eldar on those worlds being slaves to the Chaos gods and their servants. Apparently the Craftworlders get their spirit stones from there. I really haven't kept up to date with the fluff.

>> No.21413976

>>21413859
Everything that happens is part of Tzeentch's plans. He's not even playing the same game as the other gods.

>> No.21413977

>>21413945
So they're just whiny deamonettes with more brain? Now that's no fun.

>> No.21413984

>>21413957
In one of the books with Inquisitor Czevak, he ends up in the Eye of Terror and meets a few Crone Eldar.

Also the Fallen Phoenix.

>> No.21413995

>>21413945
>They are consumed souls of Eldar reborn by Slaanesh to serve him.
Not exactly.

They could potentially serve any of the gods. Even a lesser god could probably wrangle an eldar soul or two for his own purposes. They're so "at the mercy" of their masters because of their link to Slaanesh. Without the patronage of another, they'll get sucked up.

>> No.21413999

nurgle first chaos god

nurgle be last chaos god

he doesn't even have to play

just wait it out

>> No.21414027

>>21413976
>You've fallen into my trap! It was my plan all along to get my ass reamed by you!
Second best. First loser.

Tzeentch is a busta..

>> No.21414029

>>21413995
Could one field a Slaaneshi army consisting of Eldar without deviating from canon?

>> No.21414033

>>21413932
Immortals are noted as verbally ordering Warriors about on the battlefield - and presumably each other. I wouldn't be surprised if all Necrons that aren't Warriors or Deathmarks can be heard in the midst of battle, calling out to each other, barking instructions, and even crying in pain.

>> No.21414048

>>21414029
Yes.

>> No.21414092

>>21414048
Neat. Now if only there was some fluff about Crone Worlders not being buttslaves to the CSM to legitimize this at my FLGS.

>> No.21414104

>>21414092
They're buttslaves to their patron god, CSM ain't shit.

>> No.21414124

>>21414092
You could always run an all-cultist Chaos army with Eldar as the cultists.

>> No.21414131

>>21414092
>>21414124
Or Dark Eldar.

>> No.21414141

>>21414104
You can read about one of those expeditions in the Path of the Outcast novel.

>> No.21414145

Emprahdammit, now I want some rules for Crone World Eldar. Why will this never happen, /tg/, why?

>> No.21414147

>>21413995
>>21414104
Wait, hold up, if souls tones are from the croneworlds and they are at least accessible to some outcasts, why not grab one to protect yourself and run? Are they so tightly monitored by the gods that they burst into daemons as soon as they try?
Also, that description got me imagining a chaos Eldar chopping up soldiers while begging them to run and save themselves, similar to the many in system shock 2. Pretty cool.

>> No.21414149

>>21414147
Why... why would you want to leave paradise?

>> No.21414164

>>21414104
I'd like to know more about how the CSM and the Crones view each other. I know Fabulous Bile set up camp on a Crone World, but I don't think it's ever said if he subjugated the Eldar or if he made a deal.

>> No.21414172

>>21414147
Would they kill themselves and hope someone finds their stone in the future? I'm pretty sure spirit stones can be corrupted by daemons.

>> No.21414173

>>21414147
Cool thing about chaos eldar is you have a huge amount of leeway.

If I ever make a Chaos Daemon army, my heralds will be horribly mutated Eldar. I play exclusively Khorne

>> No.21414198

>>21414172
I'm sure that trying to escape is a risk worth taking compared to a lifetime of being an elfslave.

>> No.21414225

>>21414198
But they don't leave, because they don't want to.

Those who did left with the exodites, or upon the craftworlds thousands of years ago.
One of the hazards outcasts risk when claiming the tears of isha are the residents of the crone worlds, who try to convince or trick you to stay there, in endless pleasure.

>> No.21414228

>>21414198
Still, how is it an escape? They die and are then trapped in an inanimate object for an indefinite amount of time. If they're lucky the stone won't break and they'll be alone for eternity. If they're unlucky a daemon will move in with them. The latter is more likely since they're in the Eye of Terror, and the very fabric of existence can fuck you over.

>> No.21414250

>>21414225
Even they could probably get tired of having their soul raped endlessly through eternity. The DEldar are the closest thing outside the EoT like them and even they don't like the idea.

>> No.21414256

>>21414225
A little piece of information.

Rangers or outcasts who travel to Crone Worlds sometimes return back so broken and wounded spiritually they commit suicide afterwards and seek the solace of the Infinity cycle.

Damn, their job must suck, but hey..it's a living.

>> No.21414258

>>21414250
You think they can tell?

Whatever freedom existed for them has gone, they are entirely the property of she who thirsts.

>> No.21414263

>>21414256
Well it doesn't help that when they're there, they find out what the tears of isha are.

>> No.21414274

>>21414263
And what exactly are the tears of Isha?

>> No.21414289

>>21414274
They're the souls of eldar lost in the fall, crystalised in a rain of ghosts.

So for every waystone a craftworlder or exodite has, it represents not just their soul, but the soul of another eldar that was destroyed to make a recepticle for them.

It also puts a hard limit on the total number of soulstones there could be.

>> No.21414346

>>21414228
No, you misunderstand. The soulstone will keep the dark gods from outright raping them to death for trying to escape, after that they can take the same path the rangers used to go to and from the croneworld. That way they have a chance to get to realspace.
>>21414225
Wait, so they enjoy being elf slaves?

>> No.21414395

>>21414346
Their souls are already forfeit. Besides, the rangers must have ships of their own. Any ship the Crone Worlders might have is almost certainly corrupted by Chaos. But then again, they are already slaves to Slaanesh. There is no way out for them, if they are actually looking for one.

>> No.21414398

>>21414346
Living every day in absolute pleasure, never needing anything?

Yeah, I think they might be liking that.

>> No.21414476

>>21414395
Well shit, sucks to be them then. I thought that the rangers used webway gates in the corrupted part of the webway or some shit to get there.
>>21414398
I'm pretty sure it's not pleasure.

>> No.21414569

>>21414476
Do you know what a webway tunnel leading to the warp is called?
The warp.

And it is pleasure for them. That's the seductive thing, and why the other eldar fear it so much.

>> No.21414587

>>21414569
I see, so we're talking 40k's own CoC then?

>> No.21414620

>>21414587
Pretty much, yeah.

Slaanesh is the eldar's heart, she is the hole in their spirits which longs to be fulfilled. He whispers to them that if they just stopped struggling, if they just gave in and loved her, he would grant them their hearts desires.

>> No.21414643

>>21414620
The part about Slaanesh being the hole in the Eldar nether regions I knew, I just always believed that crone world Eldar were miserable as fuck based on the passages posted previously.

>> No.21414661

>>21414587
>>21414620
Yep, that's why Slaanesh's realms are filled with rivers made out of Eldar Children tears and the music of those realms are the lamentation and screams of the tortured Eldar. Heck, the decoration of those realms are Eldar viscera and gore.

They don't call Slaanesh the nemesis of the Eldar for nothing, you know. It may lure them with pleasure, but it's just a false lure that will doom them to an eternity of suffering.

>> No.21414672

>>21414643
They could go either way based on the miniscule amount of fluff mentioning them.

>> No.21414731

>>21414661
While under her power though, they enjoy that.

>>21414643
To quote from PotO:

They were ghosts, Aradryan knew, but there was something alluring about the invitation that he could not shake. He knew in his heart that he could be content here. To live for eternity by the dying light across the sea was not such a bad fate.
[...]
‘We will make you comfortable here,’ she said, stroking Aradryan’s arm. ‘You will never hunger nor know thirst, and you shan’t tire or be lonely. The children will play games forever, and you will never grow old either. Stay with us. Stay in our home by the sea.’

>> No.21414750

>>21414672

This is chaos we're talking about, and there are numerous Crone Worlds. It probably cuts both ways.

>> No.21414771

>>21414731
I figured that was just temptation, hardly the truth of the matter. I still don't believe that Slaanesh would do any such favors for the spess elfs

>> No.21414791

>>21413995

>> No.21414818

>>21414771
According to the croneworld description here: >>21414104 the Eldar there were spared or recreated.

Sounds like a favour, if not one the others would be thrilled at.

>> No.21414842

>>21414818
The other piece of fluff above your post says they are eternally barred from peace.

It's no favor.

>> No.21414873

>>21414842
Well yeah, but here's a "secret".

No eldar soul finds peace.

The craftworlders and exodites place their souls in an everhungering infinity circuit, keeping them in a half-awake state, forever.

The Dark Eldar don't even have that, they have to rely on trying to live forever to avoid slaanesh getting their souls, eternally cloning their bodies.

The only other option is to turn your soul up to another god. The Exarch-soul-constructs, whose souls are merged together, and who exist forever, until their souls are used to feed Khaine or a Phoenix Lord.
Or the Harlequins, who give their souls to the Laughing God, and give up their freedom for his mad call.

>> No.21414894

>>21413425
Actually, It's stated somewhere, IIRC, that canonically the Imperial Guard won the Kaurava Campaign. At last.

>> No.21414902

>>21414894
Nope, It is just a rumor with no evidence behind it.

Relic did not reveal who won in SS.

>> No.21414907

>>21414894
No, that's just /tg/ fanon.

The only thing we know about Kaurava Campaign is that the Blood Ravens lost.

>> No.21415030

Regarding silent necrons.

Surely a necron lord or whatever order his/her immortals to not talk whilst in combat and use wireless com.

And my fanon for deathmarks is that they don't talk on the battlefield, on account of being fairly smart snipers.

Hey, has any of the roleplay managed to stat up pariahs? They didn't get squated, just not refered to in the lasted book.

>> No.21415057

>>21415030
>Surely a necron lord or whatever order his/her immortals to not talk whilst in combat and use wireless com.
Apparently speech is more efficient.

>> No.21415123

>>21414894
If Stubbs won then the mechanius would be out for his head. No one not even a lord governor militant get away with that.

>> No.21415156

>>21415030
They're used as count-as Lychguards.

I think they have the same stats as them.

>> No.21415206

>>21415123
The "100 BEINBLEIDES" line I tend to ignore, especially given that all the other numbers in the game actually make sense. Really, I'd be more concerned about the Order of the Sacred Rose's reaction to the 252nd attacking and wiping out the troops sent to investigate them.

>> No.21415222

>>21415206

>Vyasastan
>Kaurava

Soulstorm was Space India

>> No.21415227

>>21415206
>Imperial reaction to the infighting in the system

IG : ZEALOTS

Sisters : HERETICS

Blood Ravens : Hahaha...morons.

>> No.21415285

>>21413694
Hueg Macha is best Macha? I'm gonna need a pic of Hueg Macha an Hueg Tau fighting or something

>> No.21415481

>>21414894
>release game with multiple endings
>shit it up with canon ending

would've been so easy to say 'warpstorm'

>> No.21415860

But what about Taldeer, LIIVI and Lofn?

>> No.21415906

>>21415860
Rapetortured by Kyras.

>> No.21416023

I hope Company of Heroes 2 sells well... If it does, Dawn of War 3 might surivive, and thus, Relic, and thus HomeWorld 3 might get made.

Dawn of War 3 is reported to be Dawn of War base building, but instead of the generic Space Marine Captains or Farseers you could build, you get named heroes akin to Dawn of War 2 which gain level and loot. So, imagine Dawn of War: Soulstorm but with Dawn of War 2 graphics, loot system and level system. That would fucking rock. Not to mention the Dark Mellenium Online which is being turned into a singleplayer game (which is rumoured to be Space Marine 2) with a proper loot and level system and multiple areas/locations... Exactly what SM was supposed to be. Not that it was bad. Anyway....

I wonder if the Blood Ravens will return in Dawn of War 3 and Gabriel will be one of the heroes... With Cyrus as another... Tarkus as another... Dunno who else though. I know Retribution canon ending was Gabriel survives and becomes Chapter Master and are no longer Renegades.

Eldar will probably get a load of new killable characters and Orks will be awesome like they were in Retribution. I like pirate Orks.

I just hope it gets released....

>> No.21416068

>>21416023
>named heros in multiplayer
that better be a rumor. In fact, scratch that, I don't want any loot or level ups outside the campaign. That shit is annoying. As for DM, that's not gonna be SM2. That plotline is dropped indefinitely. I still hope it's an RPG of some kind with shooter elements. Pirate Orkz are indeed wonderful.

>> No.21416109

>>21415285
WROOOONG
/fit/ Macha is best Macha.

>> No.21416350

machabump

>> No.21416442

>> No.21416517

>>21416442
You know, if we accept this headcanon, we also have to consider the implications of it on the entire Eldar digestive system. Likely it means they have very strong epithelial tissue around their anus and in their intestines. To shit glass, they would have to have the most solid ass in the galaxy. Either that, or shitting that out becomes deadly if it is jagged.

>> No.21416532

>>21416517
>shitting that out becomes deadly if it is jagged
which is why they have to master the path of pooping.

>> No.21416573

>>21416532
But that takes time. What happens to the Eldar infant who can not walk the path yet but whose anus is already letting off fully automatic fire that can rival a splinter cannon? Is this one of the causes for the Eldar dying out?

>> No.21416605

>>21416573
doubtlessly

>> No.21416620

>>21416517
>To shit glass, they would have to have the most solid ass in the galaxy.

Note to self: fuck an Eldar in the ass.

>> No.21416627

>>21416620
alternatively, maybe their ass is pretty loose.

>> No.21416644

>>21416627

Nah they'd have to have good control if they've mastered the path of the anus (which they'd need to do to avoid killing themselves when they poop).

>> No.21416646

>>21416627
>Craftworld Eldar
>Not tight-assed to the max
Yeah, right.

>> No.21416655

>>21416605
I am beginning to understand why they are so depressed. Imagine being the Exarch of the Shitting Oxen shrine and having one of your children die of splinter diarrhea. Hell, just imagine teaching your kin the art of shitting in general. At least it works as an analogue to space marines spitting acid. Get out of captivity by shitting splinter cannon fire.
>>21416620
You'll get splinters. Make sure to give her a forced enema first to avoid this and make sure she has no ammunition for her devious xeno sphincter.
>>21416627
It's tight enough to crush crystal, the problem is getting it in first.

>> No.21416664

Did anybody save the pseudoscientific crap on raising an Eldar I farted onto this board one night?

>> No.21416676

>>21416627
Eldar are an engineered species. Everything will be tight.

The old ones clearly made them for more than just war, considering their heightened sensitivity, erogenous ears and bags of sand (despite supposedly having no bodyfat whatsoever)

>> No.21416698

>>21416655
>Make sure to give her a forced enema first to avoid this

... You mean some people DON'T have enemas (enemae?) before taking it up the butt?

>> No.21416699

All this talk about eldar crap inspires and excites the diaper fetishist within myself, but how exactly would those biological specificities lead to Macha (since it's her we're talking about) to incontinence?

I see some potential, but I can't quite put my finger on it.

>> No.21416717

>>21416676
I am absolutly unsure wether this was mention in anyway whatsoever before, wether by GW or some writefags, but I faintly remember Eldar being based on human DNA that the Old Ones tempered with, while leaving humanity as a whole alone.
Anyone know if this is true?

>> No.21416736

>>21416699

Jagged splinters tore the sphincter muscles, so now clenching is almost impossible, and incredibly painful. On the plus side, it's easier to clean out, and fuck, her ass. Assuming that ever happens, of course.

>> No.21416737

>>21416717
According to the main source that claims that Eldars are like this (the 3rd ed necron codex), humans were created 60 milion years ago by the Old Ones to fight the necrons as well.

Which is bullshit.

>> No.21416742

>>21416699
Failed on the path, tore sphincter, now it all just falls out.
>>21416698
maybe. I don't know your kinks, but remember to not let your Eldar kill you with her poop.
>>21416717
They were engineered, but the bit about the humans I'm not sure of.

>> No.21416743

>>21416717
I seriously doubt it's true.

>>21416699
The Eldar body is too efficient. It's not going to happen.

>> No.21416767

>>21416442
Well, it's relatively plausable, the body processes most of the material in their food, leaving mostly urea as waste product, which becomes crystaline.

>> No.21416771

>>21416743
Well, Macha is not the most efficient eldar.

>> No.21416790

>>21416737
They weren't created to fight the Necrons.

>> No.21416809

>>21416699
Maybe some greedy Rogue Trader could capture her and feed her laxatives so as to harvest her precious excrements. She might otherwise clench her ass to death simply to spite him.

>> No.21416847

If Eldar poop crystals, does it mean that they fart very fine crystal powder?

>> No.21416863

>>21416847
it's called glitter dust

>> No.21416886

>>21416737
>humans were created 60 milion years ago by the Old Ones

''Primates are remarkably recent animals. Most species of living things had become extinct long before the first monkeys and their prosimian ancestors evolved. While the Earth is about 4.55 billion years old and the first life dates to at least 3.5 billion years ago, the first primates did not appear until around 60 million years ago. That was after the dinosaurs had become extinct''

Tell me again, why is it stupid?

>> No.21416892

>>21416699
As an alternative to total sphincter destruction which, with Eldar tech would be no problem to fix, how about an ambarassing malfunction of the nervous system which, in case of sexual arousal, causes the large intestine and rectum not to suspend peristaltic waves but instead initiates defecation as a reflex.

>> No.21416904

>>21416886
Let me also add that the Old ones didn't create the humans.

They created our ancestors ''Comical tree creatures''.

>> No.21416960

>>21416892
Well, it sounds like an anomaly that's not messy enough for eldars to try and fix it (they shit crystals, not crap) but still rather shameful.

And then again, failing on the path of defecation should not be covered up.

>> No.21416993

>>21416904
I'd kind of find it funny if we're the descendents of an isolated population of Jokaero.

>> No.21417004

>look over thread
>my first post
>Why did /tg/ have to violate her nonsexually?
>my latest posts
Well fuck. Such is the nature of the fa/tg/uy.

>> No.21417059

>>21416892
It would also explain her lack of success with her fellow eldars: Not only is she unable to hide her arousal, but she also manifests it in a very embarrassing way.

naughty, dirty little Macha.

>> No.21417132

>>21417004
Not everyone is a hypocritical faggot, just you.

>> No.21417406

Bump for the Cirno of Biel-tan.

>>
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