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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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[ERROR] No.21179959 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

>> No.21179978

>>21179959
continue

>> No.21179992

Reminds me of my first Pathfinder session.

>> No.21180012

>>21179992
Who was playing the part of the girl?

>> No.21180032

The one on the right is checking her pulse to make sure she's alright.

>> No.21180038

>>21180032

The one on the left is checking to see if she has any identification or first aid materials, as she's clearly lost and in need.

>> No.21180040

>>21180032
They're helping her up after she got drunk and fell outside the tavern. Man, these goblins are such white knights.

>> No.21180041

>>21180032
The one on the left is ensuring all of her supplies are still with her.

>> No.21180042

>>21180012

I don't know which answer I would find creepier.

>> No.21180045

>>21180032

And the one on the left is rifling through her pockets, looking for an Epi-Pen.

Severe allergic reactions are no joke.

>> No.21180054

The middle imps face...

>> No.21180056

>>21180040
Yeah, the middle guy is probably guarding her virtue, which would be sorely tested if they weren't there protecting her.

>> No.21180076

>>21180042

Tell us both, then, good anon.

>> No.21180086

I don't understand the blending of elements here. I mean there's goblins and the town looks midevil-ish, but she's wearing a spandex club outfit right out of the modern age with makeup and those studs that everyone stops wearing when they graduate highschool

Perhaps she's a time traveler?

>> No.21180111

>> No.21180117

>>21180086
She's clearly a Seer, looking into the future to detect cataclysmic events that threaten the whole worl---naw, dog, I'm just kidding, she looks into the future to get fashion and makeup tips 2000 years ahead of her bitchy friends.

>> No.21180135

Aw god. Another rape thread.

>> No.21180141

>>21180111
Quick goblins. Defend that maiden from that foul roughian.

>> No.21180150

>>21180111

"Oh thank god you're finally here doctor, she just collapsed. She has a severe allergy to X but we can find her epi."

>> No.21180155

>>21180135
what! rape?
what thread are you in\?
this is nothing of the sort

>> No.21180161

>>21180111
Officer, help us!

>> No.21180162

>>21180141
>roughian

It's like I'm back in Kansas City again.

>> No.21180167

>>21180111
"Oh thank god another human! Please help she collapsed and needs emergency care immediately!"

>> No.21180179

We moost get to ze bottom of this! Hastings, interview these fellows most green, I shall talk to the lady myself!

>> No.21180214

Look at that outfit, clearly she was asking for it

>> No.21180226

>>21180214
Asking for what?

>> No.21180234

>>21180226
Assistance for locating lost clothes for the ball.

>> No.21180237

>>21180226
an allergic reaction. That's a lot of latex.

>> No.21180259

I say, what a stunner

>> No.21180265

>>21180226
Asking for such fine gentlemen's assistance, obviously. That outfit screams vituous daksel in distress.

>> No.21180280

>>21180226
>>21180234
>>21180237
>>21180265
It could be she caught a cold. I can't imagine walking at night in so little clothing. It would be freezing out.

>> No.21180303

>>21180265
Dank indeed.

>> No.21180310

I just can't get over the terrible 3D. Stretched textures, lack of normal maps, bland-ass lighting. What is this, 1996?

>> No.21180313

>>21180111
>>21179959
Augh!Not the CG!
Not the CGI-ahhh!

>> No.21180336

Was this made in poser or something?

>> No.21180379

Please OP, advance the story! I need to know if she gets the medical assistance she needs!

>> No.21180382

>>21179959
What's the goblin in the middle doing with that rock-on-a-stick?

>> No.21180395

>>21180382
Clearly he's standing watch over her to fend off predators.

>> No.21180408

>>21180382

Hammers are used to check reflex by tapping the knee.

>> No.21180464

>>21180395
>>21180408
I'm not sure what to think of this. On the one hand it's good that he's helping her, since she's clearly in need of it. On the other hand it reinforces the stereotype of the chivalrous goblin medical professional.

>> No.21180520

>>21180464
>Implying all greenskins aren't some kind of medical professionals.

What's next, magic using elves?

>> No.21180534

/tg/
Where a rape cg becomes the story of goblin white knights

>> No.21180558

>>21180534
The OP has left in disgust at the noble story unfolding from the depths of his depravity.

>> No.21180575

/tg/ is best board.

>> No.21180588

>>21180056
Look at him, hes glaring at the camera. Clearly this is the POV of some skeevy pervert and these goblins came to her rescue.

>> No.21180644

>>21180111

The one to the far left is reaching for something behind his back. A first aid kit?

>> No.21180647

>>21180558
Indeed. If there is one thing that frightens trolls, it is chivalrous goblins of such fine character as these. OP has spooked himself!

>> No.21180685

>>21180520
Bah! Elves are too stupid and uncivilized to think of magic outside of their superstitions!

>> No.21180701

>>21180558
Aw, but I want to know if they manage to save this poor woman!

>> No.21180763

>>21179959

If you look closely at their teeth, you'll see that goblins have flat, dull teeth adapted to their completely vegetarian diet. No canines at all.

>> No.21180799

>> No.21180808

>>21180763
Of course! It is a well known fact that all goblins care deeply for the wellbeing of all that lives.

>> No.21180811

Best thread in a long time, /tg/. I don't know where you've been, but I've missed you. Submit to archive?

>> No.21180833

>>21180811

Wait for more images first.

>> No.21180835

>>21180799
more more

>> No.21180837

>>21180799

We'll go fetch the town chirugeon. Keep an eye on her and make sure her breathing stays unobstructed!"

>> No.21180842

>>21180799
It looks as if that pic is taken just before the goblins fight off the woman's attacker. She may have caught them off-guard, but they will surely turn around and save the poor unconscious woman.

>> No.21180858

>>21180799
>Standing on her hand
Well that is just plain rude.

>> No.21180871

>>21180799

Egad, you're standing on her hand! You're not a medical professional at all!

>> No.21180876

Good news: I found the "artist's" deviant art account.
Bad news: the rest is mostly your average, boring sadistic poser porn.
The descriptions are pretty funny, though:

"Laney lies comatose near the village center. A posse of imps emerges, jubilant with the amphora of recent victory."

>> No.21180880

>>21180799
...is that vile ruffian flashing the goblins?

>> No.21180898

"OC fails to locate the source of the noise, a small imp with a big stick, swinging from a rope.

Although his intentions are unknown, he swings the shillelagh at OC's exposed skull and connects with a forceful thwap, knocking the poor girl senseless. Her knees buckle and she collapses in an unconscious heap on the street."

Apparently "OC" is an android from Alien, as she has white blood.

>> No.21180906

>>21180876

"Airway's clear and she's in a natural drainage position!"

"Huzzah! Summon further assistance."

>> No.21180915

>>21180799
Aysteengs, you ahre standing on er foot!

>> No.21180927

>>21180906
Acting like the chivalrous medical professionals they are.

>> No.21180932

>>21180898

Look out! There's a poisonous scorpion in your hair!

>> No.21180938

>>21180898
Goblins, confirming their reputation for good, if not slightly too thorough, doctors, this reflex test being a standard practice.

>> No.21180939

"The small scaly creatures remain focused on their task and tediously bind the young heroine. The jostling of her limbs as they are bound rouses her. In-cognizant, Liliane tries to understand her current predicament."

Why isn't this guy a professional author already?

>> No.21180955

>>21180939
As usual, they take care of the sick and tired.

>> No.21180975

>>21180939
Look at them, using their typical goblin medical ingenuity, they have developed a method of performing the Heimlich Maneuver despite their small stature. Goblins are truly the greatest heroes!

>> No.21180980

>>21180939
ever heard of a gentleman called "C. S. Goto"?

>> No.21180997

"Subdued, Lilliane tumbles flaccidly to the pit floor and lies still. A few stray bullets pelt her inert form.

Her attackers descend upon the supine heroine."

>> No.21181011

>>21180939

'Be careful with binding her feet to the stretcher, you don't want to constrict blood flow to the feet! Check for heart rate, make sure it's stable above 180 BPM.'

>> No.21181018

>>21180997
>Her attackers descend upon the supine heroine.
It's a good thing the goblins were there to fend them off, or something bad might have happened.

>> No.21181025

>>21180997
By Jove, we must help this maiden at once! Quick, check her pulse!

>> No.21181026

>>21180997
>Oh no! Shes bleeding!
>Dont worry, I got the surgical tubing!

>> No.21181027

>>21180997
"Oh Gods she fell unconscious! Someone, anyone, call an ambulance!"

>> No.21181031

>>21180997

"Boss, we brought the tracheal tube!"

>> No.21181033

>>21180880
That's "roughian" to you, buddy.

>> No.21181041

>>21181027
le helpful face

>> No.21181042

>>21180939
I don't know what's worse the font of her text being used to show that the Old Tongue is her native one (like women are taught the classics at birth!) or the fact the goblins have started giving her first aid.

It's kind of sad to see how politically correct people are nowadays.

Just once I'd like to see a scantily clad woman NOT recive medical aid from everyone the come across.

>> No.21181054

>>21181042
Yeah, this is such a blatant case of 'benevolent' sexism. Absolutely disgusting, we need a roughian here.

>> No.21181072

Seriously though, it's surprisingly hard to salvage anything from this guy, it's just the same uninspired creepy rape fantasies over and over, with some disturbing snuff thrown in.
There's a few, extremely rare nuggets, though.

>> No.21181085

>>21181072
Whoa, seems like a crazy party.

>> No.21181090

The undead are lousy at CPR.

>> No.21181097

>>21181054

God, do you just spend all day exercising and showering in your attic? Learn to realism, take your ruffian escapism fantasy elsewhere.

>> No.21181104

>>21181072
link to the gallery?

>> No.21181111

>>21181072
What is that skeleton doing? Where is the girls right leg? What the fuck is going on?

>> No.21181114

This poor woman nearly choked on a chicken bone. Luckily, a nearby mind flayer knew Heimlich's Maneuver.

>> No.21181118

>>21181090
Goddamnit she overdosed on powdered bone! Fuck, man she passed out! I don't want to bring her to the goblins, next thing the cops will start poking their noses and shit! Fuck Fuck FUck!

>> No.21181127

>>21181085
Skeletons make the best dancers man, having your bones stuck in place by magic makes it incredably easy to pull off some killer moves.

>> No.21181132

>>21181104

Is this giving you a boner

>> No.21181139

>>21181104
http://bitty38.deviantart.com/

Never say I didn't warn you.
Honestly, this is pretty much standard poser porn. It's bad and weird, but rarely bad and weird enough to be entertaining.

>> No.21181143

>>21180179
>>21180259
>>21180915
Voices in my heeaaad.

>> No.21181156

>>21181132
good lord no, i'm laughing my ass off

>> No.21181159

>>21180939

Silly goblins, that's not how the Konami code goes.

>> No.21181177

>>21181139
NOOOO THAT BOW WILL EXPLODE IN 5 SECONDS THROW IT NOW M'LADY!

>> No.21181242

Someone else will have to take over if you want more pictures, because browsing this gallery is draining my sanity.

>> No.21181255

>>21181242
Good. If you can still feel it happening it means you're still sane.

>> No.21181262

>>21181011
"Egads, no! Humans are far from stable at 180 BPM! Did you even go to medical school?!"

>> No.21181265

"The lead goblin draws a character with his hand on the pit wall revealing a cavern beyond. Lilliane's slack head bucks and sways across the underground floor causing her to stir from her club induced slumber."

>>club induced slumber

>> No.21181282

>needs more hunks

>> No.21181298

>>21180915
Poirot - buzz off like a good chap, will you? I've got bigger fish to fry.

>> No.21181321

>>21181255
Why are you encouraging this self-destructive behavior, /tg/?
Also, I'm running out of stuff that's not either boring as hell or overly graphic.

>> No.21181329

>>21181265
Wait, so is that towel on her head some kind of parasite that can only be romoved by dragging across the ground?

I tell you, some of these Goblin hospitals you see sure do have some wierd operations- but that is what you get I guess when healthcare is left to the one race that is incapable of even imagining hurting another creature.

>> No.21181337

>> No.21181364

>>21181298
This is a farce, monsieur, a mockery! You cannot arrest these goblin doctors for rape when they did absolutely nothing of the sort!

>> No.21181382

>>21181282
Okay.

Is that skull superglued to his chest?

>> No.21181400

>>21181382
For some reason I read that as "Is that a Superskrull glued to his chest?"

>> No.21181402

>> No.21181410

>>21181382
Here a goblin presents two recent patients, a man with gross muscle abnormalities and mental defectiveness and a woman that had recently broken her leg and is being supported by a nurse.

>> No.21181442

>>21181400
Did someone say SUPERSKRULL?

>> No.21181452

>>21181402
Sometimes sedatives are hard to come by and there's just no time. It takes a real goblin man to be willing to club someone to sleep for their own good. He'll be feeling terrible about it all month.

>> No.21181481

I have no idea what's fucking going on anymore. I feel the warp overtaking me.

>> No.21181498

>>21181481
Poisonous plant, a common cause of nausea.

>> No.21181507

>>21181481
oh no, she is having a seisure from pollen alergy

>> No.21181527

I like how the monster to the left is just chilling and casually watching that random prostitute defend Vampire Jesus as he hangs crucified on an invisible cross.

>> No.21181539

>>21181527
What are the foodstuffs on that shelf and what are the labels on them?

>> No.21181556

>>21181539

I see soylent green tea. Healthy.

>> No.21181571

>>21181539

One says

100% NATURAL!
SOYLENT GREEN TEA

I seriously wish I was making this up.

>> No.21181574

>>21181507
>>21181498
>>21181452
>>21181410
>>21181329
>>21181262
>>21181031
>>21181027
>>21181026
>>21181025
>>21181018
>>21181011
>>21180975
>>21180938
>>21180932
>>21180927
>>21180906
>>21180871
>>21180842
>>21180837
>>21180808
>>21180763
>>21180408
>>21180395
>>21180280
>>21180265
>>21180237
>>21180234
>>21180167
>>21180150
>>21180141
>>21180045
>>21180041
>>21180040
>>21180038
>>21180032

/tg/ - Goblin healthcare

>> No.21181599

>>21181571
I dunno, that's actually kinda funny

>> No.21181603

>>21181574
We are fortunate to live alongside the goblins who so readily offer their medical expertise to all while staying chivalrous in the face of tragedy.

>> No.21181629

>>21181574
Goblins are great, dwarves are solid cheap labour, humans are roughians and around elves watch yourselves.

>> No.21181636

There's no pulse! Quickly, clear!

>> No.21181652

>>21181636
Haha silly skeletons, always so sanctimonious and emotional, look at tha one praying, tears running out of its empty sockets.

>> No.21181659

Sometimes the description is even better than the picture:

"The sorceress collapses after inhaling copious amounts of the noxious substance spewed from a rather large attractive chest. An enterprising young reptile slithers close to the fallen woman, trying to work out the math for devouring the prone victim."

>> No.21181678

>>21181659
Tails Gets Trolled-tier brilliance

>> No.21181686

>>21181636
doth mine eyes deceive me? I do believe I see a vajayjay.

>> No.21181709

>>21181686
Indeed you do, if we are indeed looking in the same place.

>> No.21181711

>> No.21181725

>>21181629
>dwarves are solid cheap labour
Dwarves have officially become mexicans

>> No.21181728

>This entire thread

>> No.21181729

>>21181711
Sometimes...sometimes patients slip away no matter how thoroughly they're treated.

>> No.21181734

This is somebody's fapping material.

And that's why I drink.

>> No.21181741

>>21181728
Your MOM is fucking stupid

>> No.21181770

>>21181725
More like Chinese. They keep to themselves too much to be Mexicans. Fucking dwarves taking getting jobs that should have stayed top-side.

>> No.21181774

>>21181741
BURN!

>> No.21181777

>>21181686
Ooops, missed that when I checked for stuff that's safe enough to be posted. This is seriously giving me brain damage, people.

>> No.21181791

some of these don't even need funny captions.

>> No.21181796

>>21181734
Is it just me, or does the one on the right have a mustache?

>> No.21181801

>>21181791

>> No.21181807

>>21181796
i think you may be onto something

>> No.21181822

I can't even tell what the hell is supposed to go on anymore.

>> No.21181846

>>21181822

This wouldn't be out of place in a music video.

>> No.21181850

>>21181711
"She could have waited, Newbie."

>> No.21181858

The three goblins approached the pale, fallen figure. In the long shadows of dusk, their faces were obscured - except for their sharp, gleaming teeth as they approached the helpless woman, clad in so very little to protect herself against the predations of any who would come across her.

One of green monstrosities approached the fallen maiden, eyes wide. He quickly approached, laying a sharp-clawed hand upon her neck.

"Thank god!" said Krizluk. "She still has a pulse."

"Are you sure this is wise..." said Griglug. "Helping an... elf?"

"She is clearly not an elf - this is a human. Note the ears." said Krizluk with little patience. "A rarer breed and quite separate."

"Hrm... pale skin..... her breathing is shallow though.... from the looks of it, an allergic reaction." said Prid, ignoring his compatriots. "Here, see if she carries an alchemical injection."

Griglug complied, finding the injection and expertly administering it.

"Thank the gods.." breathed Krikluk. "Think what would have happened if three medical students hadn't been nearby, hmm?"

>> No.21181859

>>21181822
Oppa Skeleton Style!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bqlHdPlHK_s

>> No.21181873

Do a little dance!

>> No.21181881

>> No.21181892

>>21181873
>>21181822
man, those are some smooth moves.

>> No.21181895

The red stuff floating in mid-air is actually poorly rendered and posed hair. Yes, really.

>> No.21181910

>>21181895

Well, that hair model is one of the ones that came bundled with Poser 4. It's one of the only articulated ones.

>> No.21181915

well, you know...
at least it's not scribblekid.

>> No.21181920

>>21181734
go to /d/
drink yourself in a coma

>> No.21181922

Who polished that ork?

>> No.21181931

oh god.

>> No.21181942

>>21181920

I went to /d/ once many, many years ago, when I was exploring 4chan for the first time.
I'm still recovering.

>> No.21181944

>>21181931
I find his face hilarious.

>> No.21181946

>>21181922
"Woo! Spring break!"

"Put that away, sir. The lady and I were sparring."

>> No.21181949

>>21181931
SILENCE WENCH. EMBRACE MY MIGHTY CHEST!

>> No.21181951

>>21181931

>> No.21181957

>>21181942
/tg/ is just /d/-lite.

>> No.21181972

>>21181957
I know, but the madness is diluted enough to be non-lethal.

>> No.21181979

>>21181942
I actually don't mind it that much even though my kinks are rarely covered.

>> No.21181993

>>21181979
what are your kinks? How the hell could they not be covered?

>> No.21182003

>>21181993
>Consensual heterosexual sex in the missionarry position for the purpose of procreation

>> No.21182013

Okay, these are the last ones /tg/. I need some goblin help to recover now.

>> No.21182024

>>21181770
Dwarves are Chinese! We make them do all our mining, and in return....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o87MgkGAqeU

>> No.21182026

>>21181993
Because /d/ only does futa, diapers, giantess, and sissification with the occasional BDSM thread that often devolves into one of the four big ones.
Anything not covered above rarely, if ever, gets a thread.

>> No.21182027

this may be too risqué for /tg/ but i'm posting it solely for the face.

>> No.21182030

>>21181858

Suddenly, a figure loomed over them. Female, of a beautiful, demure looking nature, though clad in rather fantastic looking stockings.

The fair looking elf maiden surveyed the scene.

"Hey, gobbos, piss off." she said harshly. "This was my hume, now back off."

"Good ma'am, this lady is suffering a severe allergic reaction!" said Prid. "She needs to be brought to a hospital, or at least stabilized here!"

The elf narrowed her lovely, exotic eyes, looking at the diminutive creatures before her."

"Dis' hume's my toy, get it?"

Krizluk's eyes blazed, as he drew out his alchemical rod, with a lightning stone embedded in the end, which hummed ominously.

"I will only say this once." he said in a steady tone. "By the honour of the Orcoid Medical School of Gronlar, and all its distinguished members, I will not - cannot! - allow you to take advantage of a lady so incapacitated. You have two choices. You can aid us in taking her to a hospital, or you can leave. Any other options will lead to me protecting her virtue, by force if need-be."

The elf paused, then scowled, sauntering off into the night with graceful poise.

"Hmph." muttered Griglug. "Like they always say - Around Elves, watch Yourselves."

"Now, now, Griglug." admonished Krizluk. "You cannot stereotype a race by but a few members. You must also understand that there are greater socio-economic forces at here in Gronlar, that work against the less civilized, non-Orcoid races. Now, if you would not mind, go try to hail a carriage and we can take this young woman back to the hospital."

>> No.21182031

>>21182003

>> No.21182032

>>21181993
I'm a bit too vanilla since I don't care for futa and mainly get off to BDSM and lesbian stuff. Though I generally prefer the more hardcore stuff. I just browse it for fun tbh.

>> No.21182048

>>21182013

Forgot the pic. I blame my newly obtained brain damage.

>> No.21182049

>>21181822
After stabilizing the patient, the skeletons are doing the Safety Dance, in an attempt to encourage safer behaviour in the future.

The skeleton healthcare system was designed by Robin Williams.

>> No.21182059

this man has his priorities straight.

>> No.21182065

>>21182030

This story makes it worth all the pain, though.

>> No.21182069

>>21182059
is he bleeding out?

>> No.21182074

>>21182032
isn't it just /h/?

>> No.21182075

>>21182059
>I still have enough blood to pop a boner!

>> No.21182079

>> No.21182095

>>21182079

Those skeletons take safety seriously. Not many people would use a running dive tackle to stop someone from running with scissors, let alone swords

>> No.21182096

>>21182079
>CAREFUL! You might hurt yourself with that sword

>> No.21182097

CGI porn only ranks slightly higher than caption porn in terms of absolute shitty quality.

>> No.21182105

>>21182030
10
out of fucking
10

>> No.21182125

>>21182030

This is the best fantasy setting.

>> No.21182150

>>21182030
You are a true scholar to depict goblins struggle to sympathize with those less fortunate as the chivalrous medical professionals they are.

>> No.21182152

>>21182027
That fellow sure does love helping those women in thier acrobatic training! It's so nice to see the kind of support Olympic hopefulls get these days!

>> No.21182164

My sides have achieved escape velocity.

Goodbye, /tg/.

>> No.21182168

>>21182030
Fantastic.

>> No.21182175

So is this archived yet?

>> No.21182190

>>21182030
will you marry me

>> No.21182199

Ach Elves, with their rowdy ways, gang association and loud music quite unfit for a an Orcoid's ear. Only marginally better than the night-elves, but we must remember that Orc-kind is responsible for their plight as until the Emancipation three hundred years ago they were cotton-picking slaves.

Ach, the hopeless romantics, these undead. They cannot into nations.

Ach, such smart gentlemen, these goblins, even if they are physically and sexually found wanting.

Ach, these proud and stoic Orks, such philosophers.

Ach, these hard-working-and-drinking dwarves. Close-minded but cheap.

>> No.21182206

BEHOLD! THE WONDERS OF CROPPING!

>> No.21182220

>>21182030

I keep hearing the goblin's lines in Mordin's voice.

>> No.21182224

>>21182199
Don't forget the helpful mind flayers, always ready to lend a tentacle to those in need.

>> No.21182233

>>21182074
/h/ sucks donkey balls.

>> No.21182239

>>21182233
Really?? That's my fetish!

>> No.21182250

>>21182206
Coincidentally, that's exactly the face I'm making as I'm reading this thread.

>> No.21182260

>>21182250
How do you roll your eyes back that far?

>> No.21182296

>> No.21182334

What the hell is she wearing?

>> No.21182363

>>21182334
A stripper costume?

>> No.21182374

>>21182296
"Do not worry, ma'am. I have engaged in fisticuffs with your assailant and disposed of him quite neatly, if I may say so myself. It appears that your wallet is safe, and--dear Gods! Is that a gun?"

>> No.21182377

>>21182334
Let's see here, from the top down: a hat, a mask, a little cape/mantle, an open vest with chain links connecting both sides, a microskirt and some short boots.

>> No.21182417

>>21182334
It's that colour of red so that when the guy with the Captain Power gun in the back takes his shot, it will register as a hit. He is cheating and not wearing his Power Pack.

>> No.21182438

>>21182239
That makes one of us.

>> No.21182533

>>21182030

Together, the three medical students helped the woman into the carriage back. The driver looked back in concern - well, as much as a skeleton could make a facial expression. Some were concerned with the influx of skeletons into the city. Apparently, the Bonelands had once been a human nation. And of late, strange necromancy had brought many of the dead of this nation of this rare breed back to life. Of course, being reanimated, they had to do something. Skeleton immigration was at a high. A few were rather concerned with the amount of jobs they were taking - a skeleton didn't need to sleep, you see. Some were also concerned with "how something with only sockets" could see. Krizluck knew this was just ignorance - he had studied necromantic reanimation theory and so understood better than the average citizen how skeletal magical senses worked.

Usually skeletons could not talk, relying on a fantastically intricate form of sign language, helped by their flexible hands. Some, like this one, however did have sound-stones embedded to the inside of their skull.

"Oh dear. Is she alright?" said the skeleton, in a reverberating, kind baritone.

"Yes, just an allergic reaction. We have it under control but we desire to take her to the hospital, as quick as you can, my good man." said Krizluk. "I'll pay extra for the inconvenience."

"No, not at all." said the skeleton in his melodious voice that echoed deeply out of his skull. "I would not take advantage of such an emergency for money."

Krizluk could not help but smile at such generosity - especially since, for all he knew, the skeleton thought their passenger to be an elf. Slamming his foot down on the floor-level, the alchemical processes were fired up in the steel-horse at the front of the carriage, and they were off in a flash.

>> No.21182542

Fucking Gobamacare

>> No.21182559

>>21182533

Simply glorious, good sir.

>> No.21182582

>>21182542

>> No.21182589

>>21182533
More of this, this is awesome.

You are a blessing to this board.

>> No.21182663

Tell me this is archived. Please D:

>> No.21182665

>>21182542
The alternative is to be at the mercy of enterprising healers. A lot of the less fortunate couldn't pay the obscene amounts required to insure themselves that they'd get proper healing. This way, at least more can get treatment. It's too bad the elven orderlies fuck it all up.

>> No.21182668

Is this archived yet? I'm trying to do it myself, but I really can't come up with a title and description that doesn't suck.

>> No.21182682

>>21182533

>> No.21182688

>>21182668
Gobamacare?

>> No.21182692

>>21182668

Title it "The Great Gobamacare Derail" and if there isn't a tag for /tg/ turning shit into gold, there should be.

>> No.21182709

>>21182079
EYYYY SEXY LADY

>> No.21182733

>>21182334
This is my next Malkavian.

>> No.21182746

>>21182692

Turns out it was already archived. And yes, this is indeed the finest example of /tg/ turning awful, horrible things into something good that I've seen in a long time.

>> No.21182770

Oh the goblinity!

>> No.21182793

Oh god, that face!

>> No.21182828

>>21182770
>>Shocking Incident of White on Green violence, Elder Shaman Council calls for investigation, recconcilliation.

>> No.21182834

>>21182793
She is obviously talking about her tattoo. See, she had a tattoo of an exes name on her inner thigh, which is why she walks so awkwardly. The goblins were nice enough to not comment on it.

>> No.21182838

>>21182533

The skeleton, being taller, helped the three medical students take the unconcious woman out of the carriage. It had parked in front of the hospital, a gleaming symbol to the dignity of the goblin race. Indeed, their surroundings were much more cleanly and beautified than the part of town they had found the poor girl.

As soon as they approached the door, it burst open. A large, overmuscled humanoid stood, glaring out. His skin was of a dull shade, his features, replete with tusks, making him look like some sort of boar-human hybrid.

"Oh deerie me, laddies!" said the Orc, in a light Orc-ney accent. "What kinda trouble did ye get into now? I thought I was doin' ye a kindness tellin' ye to take some time off!"

"No, no, good Gragstuk." said Krizluk. "We simply came across this human, unconcious, near the edge of they, ah, "Elven District". Even putting it in those terms, rather then the more common "Elftown", made Krizluk feel uncomfortably bigoted.

" 'Ere, let me help you wee laddies." said Gragstuck, taking the girl under the arms as the skeleton took her legs, the goblins being a bit short for carrying a human. As they approached an empty room, going down the clean, well lit corridors, the girl started to stir.

"Noo, noo, lass." said Gragstuck softly, his Orc muscles handling her easily. "Take it easy, weell get you in ta a bed nice and proper." He carefully laid her down in the hospital bed, drawing the sheets over her.

>> No.21182847

>> No.21182849

>>21182838
"Hmm, a hume, eh?" he said. "Ta clothes look positively... elvish in their immodesty."

"Human, Gragstuk. Human." said Krizluk gently, reminding his close friend of the more respectful, full term. "And her clothing matters little. Different races have a different cultural viewpoint on clothing, modesty and the role of females."

"Aye, yer right." said Gragstuck. "Ye wouldn't see me let my wee lass dressing like that, s'all I'm saying."

"And until she reaches the Gronlar age of voting, that is indeed your choice." joked back Krizluk. "But come, I think the lads are needing a bit of rest after this excitement. You all go ahead, I'll keep watch here."

>> No.21182854

>>21182834
But why did the shave her eyebrows as well?

>> No.21182863

>>21181922

oh those lovable orks and their surprise parties

>> No.21182869

>>21182003
Sick Fuck.

>> No.21182893

>>21182854
She suffers from natural hair loss. Her hair is actually a wig, supplied by the goblins on her request, free of charge.

>> No.21182914

>>21182847
How nice of the goblins to use a minimum of force to restrain that paranoid schizophrenic. Sadly she poses a danger to herself and others if not given treatment.

>> No.21182940

>> No.21182987

>>21182893
She's a recoving cancer patient, fresh from her chemo at a goblin clinic. Her comment was directed at the maligent tumor they'd found during a routine mammogram. Thankfully, due to regular screening, they caught it early and were about to remove it before any secondary tumors were established.
The head goblin worked tirelessly in a eighteen hour surgery to save her.

>> No.21183000

>>21182893
Oh, she didn't need to request it. A band of goblin wives heard about her plight from their caring, sensitive husbands, who were worried sick about her potential mistreatment in a less civilized society where they worry about such things. The women got together and cut their own hair, then fashioned a wig by hand, in that sort of heart-warming display of community spirit which is so common among goblinkind.

I hear that when they presented it to her, she just said "hum." But all goblins know that virtue is its own reward.

>> No.21183014

>>21182940
Quick, warrior princess! Sniff the dust on my finger so you can save your crazed knife-wielding sister from the skeleton she tried to raise!

>> No.21183021

>>21182940
Chiropractic is often practiced in the woods.

>> No.21183029

Dat strut

>> No.21183045

>>21182987
You must have the journals mixed up. She had a tattoo removed >>21182834.

>> No.21183061

>> No.21183075

>>21183000
Such a sweet people. I'm ashamed to admit though, that I can see why she'd be less than enthusiastic about this. Goblin hair irritates the skin of most humans. I'm sure they'd have used elven hair, had any elf offered to cut it for free. It's not the elves' fault though, they are less fortunate in their socio-economic situation than the goblins.

>> No.21183087

>>21182849

The orc and the other two goblins made their way out. The skeleton bowed with mechanical precision before making his leave - Krizluk having to leap after him to make sure he took at least regular fare.

"We'll catch you for drinks later then." said Griglug, looking at his friend with faint concern. Krizluk was by far at the top of the class, and seemed to hold the position with casual ease. But Krizluk's constant crusading for the rights of all races was, while admirable, a bit of an obsession.

Krizluk nodded, taking a seat by the bed. He reached into his pouch at his side, (being summer, he was only wearing goblin-pants, as was the custom) removing a piece of Ghoulish literature he was reading "The Sweetness of Rotted Meat". It was wonderfully poetic - he was thinking about working on a Goblinish Translation.

However, the door to the room burst open. A tall, purplish-pale creature, with sharpened nails, a bony chest, pointed ears and a hideous, skull-like face entered the room.

"Speak of the Ghoul, and one would arrive." though Krizluk, privately chastising himself for thinking of the archaic saying.

"Yes, nurse Margaroth?" he said kindly. Thankfully Ghouls usually went unclothed (to the eternal uncomforting of Gragstuk), since otherwise it was rather difficult to tell gender.

The ghoul sucked in her breath, making a hissing noise. "I wasss told you brought an elf here, no?"

"A human, in fact." corrected Krizluk.

"Hmmph. I sssseeee it is sooooo." said the Ghoul, in a tone that sounded almost doubtful.

"But I alssssso heard that you brought a Sssssskeleton into the hossssspital. That issss mosssst unhygenic!"

>> No.21183126

>>21183087
How do you do it, you singularly magnificent writefag?!

>> No.21183274

>>21183126
He eats his Wheaties™!

>> No.21183355

>>21183274
I'm not sure they sell those in my country. Too bad.

>> No.21183414

>>21183061
"The stone textures, they burn usssss..."

>> No.21183451

>>21183414
It's best not to look too closely, lest ye want to go outside.

>> No.21183578

>>21182838
>orc-ney accent
>ohyou.jpg

>> No.21183735

>>21183075

Goblins have hair? All the ones I've seen this far in these truly artful illustrations have been bald.

>> No.21183758

Look out, there's a shaved bear with wings behind you!

>>21183087

You're a wonderful person.

>> No.21183798

>>21183758
>Don't be like that baby
>I got you some fish
>You like fish right

>> No.21183815

>>21183735
Because they cut it off for cancer patients to wear.

>> No.21183821

I really feel sorry for all these helpful creatures, those human females seem so rude and ungrateful.

>> No.21183889

>>21183087
Krizluk sighed inwardly. Nurse Margaroth was rather intolerant for his tastes - particularly when it came to skeletons. Of course, the situation between Ghouls and Skeletons was rather complicated. The Ghouls had owned the Bone Lands where the Skeletons had suddenly emerged - a situation that put both sides on edge. When the Skeletons discovered that the Ghouls had previously used the corpses of the bonelands for food - well, they were less than pleased. Violence followed, and the Ghouls militarily occupied the bonelands.

Due to this, many Ghouls and Skeletons in Gronlar did not get along well, bringing their conflict across the sea with them.

>> No.21183892

>> No.21183910

This thread reminds me of 90's videogame CGI cinematics.

>> No.21183947

>> No.21184012

Ah, the rare Horriblus Texturies. What a beautiful creature.

>> No.21184040

>>21184012
It seems as if they are trying to awaken the unconscious women. That's Horriblus Texturies for ya, always trying to help out.

>> No.21184095

>> No.21184119

>>21184095
"I'm sorry lady, but your beauty leaves me speechless"

>> No.21184156

>>21184095
"D'aww...."

>> No.21184219

An andrewsarchus as a companion? That would actually be pretty awesome, if it wasn't for the fact that this "artist" has no idea what an andrewsarchus is. He just thinks it's a wolf (one could argue it looks nothing like a wolf, but you have to remember that Poser users are completely oblivious to what *anything* looks like).

>> No.21184259

>>21184219
Must be cold to walk around in the mountains in only your fetish wear.

>> No.21184308

>>21184259
And the armor rating is awful. No wonder the women in these picture get knocked out every other minute or so.

>> No.21184320

>>21184308
Thank the gods that the chivalrous goblins are around to help them recover. Their medical expertise is invaluable.

>> No.21184334

>>21184095

"Oh dear child, you appear to be lost. Please, do come in and warm yourself. I've made scones."

>> No.21184354

>>21184320
Yeah, it's no wonder humans are such rare creatures. As we've seen again and again, they're so stupid and clumsy that they would've gone extinct long ago if it wasn't for the kindness of other, more advanced species.

>> No.21184363

>>21184259
It's a Northerner rite of passage to go into the wilderness with minimal clothing to reaffirm their connection to the spirits and ancestors.

It may seem odd to us, but we have no right to judge. Though the goblin clinics are overrun at this time of year by Northerners with frost bite.

>> No.21184385

>>21184354
It's not their fault that some of them are less fortunate in terms of socio-economic factors.

>> No.21184814

This thread restored some of my faith in /tg/. You're good people sometimes, deep inside.

>> No.21184861

>>21184814
Sure, just don't tell any of the other boards. It would ruin our painfully cultivated image.

>> No.21184864

>>21183889

"Skeletons are entirely hygienic." he said with the weariness of someone giving an oft repeated speech. "Just because they sometimes emerge from the ground does not mean they do not know how to polish themselves, as it were."

Nurse Margaroth gave another low hiss. "Ssssstill. It isssss not ssssafe to let them into public buildingsssss. He could be a terrorissssst. Planning to blow ussss up!"

"Not all Skeletons are terrorists." continued Krizluk. "Yes, I understand that there are radical groups who did use alchemical bombs to attack your capital - and while I by no means agree with their methods, not with the concept of revenge, you must understand the trauma in discovering that the Ghouls had used the Bone Lands to harvest marrow."

Nurse Margaroth scowled, which did nothing for her countenance. "I preferred the bonesss better when they did not walk. And when they did not desssstroy my home."

And with that she stalked out of the room. Krizluk frowned. He disliked Margaroth's bigotry, but he did understand her position. Her home and workplace had been destroyed by Skeletal Terrorists. She had been forced to emigrate to Gronlar because of this - only to find Skeletons arriving en masse not long after."

>> No.21184883

>>21184864
He put that out of his mind as he watched the human girl with sympathy. Humans were a luckless race. They had used to have a powerful nation, back in the past. But something had happened - all that was left was the haunted Bone Lands. Humans had been scattered. Indeed, there were likely more dead humans walking around as Skeletons than there were living ones at this point. In most cities across the world, even in this civilized nation of Hrakon, even in this shining city of Gronlar, humans were still marginalized, often living in isolated communities and falling prey to (sadly often Elven) criminals.

The biology of humans also appeared to have been damaged in whatever had ruined their nation. Human males had become more rare, and were often sickly, or suffered from maladies - most commonly blindness, loss of hair or worst, loss of sanity.

Human females thus had to make up lots of the workforce - and they were often ruthlessly exploited, their poverty meaning they rarely got a higher education, which was such a key to success. Most had to scrimp and save in any way they could - this being seen in human fashion - generally wearing as little as possible to save on fabric. That was likely why so many flocked to Gronlar - one was unlikely to freeze to death here.

But worst for these poor human girls were the Elves. Perhaps bitter at their own low status, they ruthlessly took their anger out on these hapless women, taking advantage of them in any way they could. But in his heart, he knew that the Elves themselves were but victims of persecution.

>> No.21184899

>>21184861
Don't worry, if they ask I'll just point to edition wars and lolicon quests.

>> No.21184921

>>21184883

It's like I'm watching the best hospital soap opera ever.

>> No.21184941

>>21184899
That's my fag.

>> No.21184990

>>21184921
>goblin hospital drama
"Krizluk M.D."

>> No.21185023

>>21184921
It would be a revolution in television! First there'd be Green's Anatomy in primetime. A daytime show, The Died Young and Still Restless, about zombies who get up to have affairs and get into crazy adventures. And then we'd get a few of those junkyard/pawn shop shows, but with gnomes selling crazy contraptions and halflings struggling to move heavy furniture out of abandoned storage lockers. Then a gold mining show with dwarves squabbling amongst themselves, and an unscrupulous elf jumping in and stealing their claim just as they've hit paydirt. The next Iron Chef would be an actual iron golem.

>> No.21185334

>>21184883

Krizluk was broken from his thoughts as he saw the human woman stir. She suddenly sat bolt upright, gasping.

"There, there" he said, easing her back down onto the low bed. "Take it easy. You have had a rather severe allergic reaction ma'am."

"W-where..." she said, looking around, confused.

"Orcoid Medical School of Gronlar" said Krizluk.

"How..." she murmured.

"My friends and I found you passed out in the street, Ms...?"

"Name's... Chloe" she said, giving a typical human name.

"You can call me Krizluk." he said. Krizluk Oggorazk, at your service."

She seemed a little non-plussed by this Goblinish courtesty.

"I was passed out?"

"Yes - it seems you had an allergic reaction."

She nodded. "Yes. I'm allergic to nuts."

"Oh... oh, I'm so sorry." said Krizluk with honest sympathy. Nuts were near-ubiquitous in the Elven District. The Elvish religion had them be strict vegetarians. And their favourite food was nuts. It was rare to go long without finding an elf with nuts in its mouth. Thus in Elf Town, with its low cleanliness policies, nut dust and byproducts were common. For such a girl to have to live in such an environment would be torture - taking her life into her hands just going outside.

>> No.21185401

>>21185334
You just can't go anywhere these days without seeing an elf holding a small twig with a couple of nuts hanging off it. Poor girl.

>> No.21185457

>>21185334
"Look..." said Chloe. "I'm sorry I've been so much trouble. I'll leave..."

"No, no, not at all!" said Krizluk. "It was no trouble."

Chloe nodded, swinging her legs out of bed. "Well... I'm good now." she said, standing up. She opened the door and left, clearly a little uncomfortable with the surroundings. "I'll have to be getting back."

"Back?" said Krizluk. "We've seen that living in that... nutty place is bad for your health."

She turned for a moment and shrugged. "Where else do I go? Look Mister. I'm thankful that you helped. I really am. But you really didn't need to. My life is mine."

Krizluk was a little taken aback at this and nodded as she began to walk off down the street.

>> No.21185512

>>21185334
Goddamn you, and your nuts.

>> No.21185526

Fuck this shitthread turned into a winthread. Only on /tg/ I say.

>> No.21185658

>>21185457
He watched her walk away. Suddenly a carriage pulled up in front of him. It was not pulled by a alchemical horse. A figure, of a dull greenybrown, polished to a sheen, vaguely goblinish in appearance was drawing it. The figure was naked, but had no indication of gender. A young grinning goblin sat atop the carriage.

"Need a lift sir?" he said. "I can get you there for half the price."

"Your carriage... it's pulled by a Golem." said Krizluk in shock.

"Sure, sir. Hell of a lot cheaper than trying to buy a mechanical animal."

"But look at it - it's straining! You have a collar around its neck!" said Krizluk, shocked. Golems were artificially created, true, the greatest achievement in Orcoid alchemy - but still!

The young goblin shrugged. "What of it? Not like its people."

>> No.21185664

>>21185658
That one phrase froze Krizluk. Not people. No. That was the sentiment - only Goblins were real people, hmm? Maybe Orcs and Ogres too. Not Elves. Not "Humes". Not "Skellies" or Ghouls. He looked up and down the street. There in an ally, two elven youths were gambling, rolling balls around, their mouths filled with nuts. There a Skeleton and a Ghoul were being pulled apart by an Goblin Police Officer (Well, really more by his Orcney helper.) And there, walking down the street, was Chloe, walking back to - to what? Likely a squalid tenement, filled with nut sacks. Perhaps to a cruel Elven mistress. He felt the fire in his heart that he had felt since all that time ago. No. No, she would not!

"Excuse me good sir." he said indignantly to the goblin youth aboard the carriage. "The government may allow Golem Slavery - but not for long! Not if I have my say! But until that day, good sir, please - go insert your own genitals up your rectum!" (That was about as foul as he got as a medical student.) The young Goblin looked shocked as Krizluk turned and ran down the street, grabbing Chloe by the hand.


"Hey, what are you doing?" she said.

"You are coming with me." he said, hailing a non-Golem carriage, damning the extra cost.

>> No.21185676

>>21185664

"Wha...?" she said.

"I am not going to let you die, choked because of nuts." he said firmly. "You are going to come with me to my place until I can find you somewhere sanitary to live."

"What the hell?" she said, as she was dragged into the carriage (Krizluk was remarkably stronger than he appeared). "Why are you doing this?"

"Because I want to help." he said, still feeling the burning within him. "Our city... so more civilized then the dark corners of the earth - and yet with such injustice still within it?"

She scowled. "Oh, is that it? Take one human girl away from nuts and you figure you can clean the whole nation up?"

"No." he said, staring at her directly as the carriage started. "No, but its a damned start."

>> No.21185699

>>21185676
And thus ends the first chapter in the Surprising saga of Krisluk Oggorazk, Medical Doctor, Social Critic and Champion of the Downtrodden, as he begins his crusade to right the wrongs here in our most glorious Orcoid Capital.

>> No.21185700

>>21185676
This suddenly became my next PC concept. My group is going to be so confused....

>> No.21185732

>>21185699
Glorious indeed. Thanks Writefag.

>> No.21185774

>>21185699

You did well, and you should feel good about yourself.

>> No.21185800

That was amazing Writefag. My sides are moving on their own and all that.

>> No.21185801

>>21185700
You better bring back some bloody stories, now.

>> No.21185820

>>21185699

Does that mean you're going to continue this tale? God I hope you continue this tale.

>> No.21186021

>>21181321
That image reminds me of this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRZ2Sh5-XuM

>> No.21186084

>>21186021
But the man in that video moves much, much more naturally than anything in this thread.

>> No.21186522

this thread is good, and you should feal food for it /tg/

>> No.21187156

>>21181072
These skeletons learned to fight from watching the original startrek series.

>> No.21187718

>>21185699

>> No.21188108

>>21187156
Fighting? No, no, those Skeletons are just taking part in a friendly aerobics session, clearly.

>>
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