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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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21169972 No.21169972 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

>be born the son of a minor noble
>duchy I live in is almost always at war
>decide to become a knight so I can kick some arse and earn some riches
>fight in the name of the Duke, every battle I wage is a decisive victory
>continue fighting for ten years
>the Duke still hasn't rewarded me with a fief
>when I met him at the latest grand feast, he mistook me for a stableboy
>tfw

>> No.21170007

>wanting to be a landed knight
>not wanting to live as a knight errant, roaming the lands with naught but your steed and arms, lending aid to peasant and noble alike
People like you are the cancer killing chivalry.

>> No.21170047

You know I've always wondered - how would one become a noble in the first place in medieval society? Did they only need to own something like land or wealth to be considered a noble?

>> No.21170094
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21170094

>1250
>Being a wretch

Have you knaves ever even heard the Song of Roland?

>> No.21170178

>>21170047

Be born in a noble family, basically.

>> No.21170199
File: 147 KB, 324x324, tsk.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21170199

>be a noble, decide I want to be a Sir
>grab some armour, ride off my horse, get anointed by a priest and earn knighthood
>a week later some courier arrives
>tells me that the Prince is going on a crusade in Antioch and wants every able knight available to join him
>mfw

Fuck.

>> No.21170209

>>21170178
But how would that noble family have become noble in the first place?

>> No.21170230

>>21170209
Being ennobled by a regent/sovereign.

>> No.21170260

>>21170199
Cheer up! Antioch is pretty and if you survive you might get a lot of swag. It's a rich country down there.

Oh and the mahometans have some pretty cool shit going around, if you can stand their infidel ways. Some pretty wenches too.

>> No.21170265
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21170265

>tfw Croatian
>tfw your kingdom will never be freed from the iron grip of Habsburg's claws

>> No.21170282

>>21170199
>not cool with going a crusade
>becomes a knight
Dumbass.

>> No.21170319
File: 353 KB, 741x625, Gavrilo_Princip_captured_in_Sarajevo_1914.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21170319

>>21170265

>tfw you try

>> No.21170356
File: 16 KB, 168x280, knight hos.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21170356

>Clearly Blessed By Our Lord Tier
French
Prussian
Aragonese

>Verily Good Champions Tier
English
Welsh
Germanic
Polish

>Hardily The Finest Of Riders Tier
Flemmish
Danish
Magyarian

>Better Suited To Sewing Than Stabbing Tier
Danish
Portugese
Scottish

>Art Thou Shitting Me Tier
Italian
Celtic
Svedish

>> No.21170382
File: 365 KB, 2502x3203, 1347202381920.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21170382

That maiden laughing at me when I dedicated my tournament victory to her really affected me.

I commissioned new armor to reflect my inner feelings.

>> No.21170386

>>21170356
>celts and nords
>having knights
T'was my belief that their ilk were too savage-minded to even know how to use stirrups?

>> No.21170394

>>21170199
Don't worry, the church will watch your land while you're gone!

And then not give it back if you make it back alive.

>> No.21170400

>>21170265
>wanting to leave the HRR's protection
>wanting to be vulnerable to invasion by Turks, orthodox slavs and mongols

>> No.21170426

>>21169972
Good news! The King is currently plotting to revoke the duke's title so that he can give it to the heir to the throne, and you would add just enough plot power to make it a sure thing! If you agree to help, there might be a barony in it for you, or even a county some day. Plus a reasonably attractive female courtier to wed.

>> No.21170428

Who would win in a fight - a nobleman of Castile or Aragon? Both are equipped with arming swords and rounded shields.

>> No.21170436
File: 21 KB, 540x539, Crusader 1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21170436

>>21170199
>gets to go on a crusade
Isn't that good news?

>> No.21170462

>>21170428
The nobleman of Castile.

Aragon was full of french.

>> No.21170498
File: 97 KB, 620x413, mongols.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21170498

Hey, Polish lord here. So I got up this morning and saw a horde of filthy, eastern-looking barbarians surrounding my keep. All day they've been screaming words in their foreign devil tongue while riding around on horseback and shooting my peasants. On and another thing - they all seem to have horses and bows.

What the hell should I do? Pic related, it's a painting of the savages made by one of my artisians.

Please respond quick. They've started loading dead animals into their catapults.

>> No.21170505

>>21170386
There were knights, of sorts, 13th century onward in Sweden at least.

>> No.21170513

>>21170498
Start writing your will.

>> No.21170529

>>21170498
Just stay indoors. You do have several months worth of food stockpiled in your keep, right?

Those rice goblins are terrible at sieges. They'll give up and move on after a while.

>> No.21170534

>>21170498
You have a safe, underground water supply, right? If not, oh boy. Prepare your sabatons.

>> No.21170538

>>21170505
Don't reason with this fool, I bet he has never seen a Bogatyr in all his peasant life.

>> No.21170543

>>21170498
Run.

Run like you've never ran before.

Hide in Rome.

>> No.21170564

>>21170498
Be glad that in order to invade you, they'll end up crossing Russia twice.

>> No.21170625

>>21170498
Cry and wish you were nice and safe murdering your neighbors in Scotland, half a continent and a sea away.

>> No.21170630

>>21170564
Be less glad that they are thus very eager to murder you and take your women and wealth when they do so.

>> No.21170639
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21170639

>have brother who's a knight
>one of the best in the land, wins all the jousting tournaments
>enlists in a tournament being held in honour of a major lord's wedding
>wins flawlessly
>has to declare his victory in the honour of some maiden
>he says the name of the lord's newlywed wife
>mfw

THIS CAN ONLY END WELL

>> No.21170664
File: 535 KB, 1680x1050, Rhodok_Trained_Spearman[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21170664

>implying knights

>> No.21170675
File: 13 KB, 256x256, -YuchiJingde.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21170675

>Be born peasant.
>Have edumacation aside.
>Enter military academy examination.
>Passed motherfuckers
>Military academy learnin' and graduation.
>Officer posting on some backwater frontier as a cavalry command.
>Repel this nomad raid and quell that bandit group.
>Get commendation from Commandery.
>mfw good salary and a small mansion for family in the country.

Centralized military is best military!

>> No.21170680
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21170680

Are the common folk allowed to revel here?

>> No.21170685
File: 215 KB, 936x685, Rhaegar vs Robert.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21170685

>>21170639
Indeed.

>> No.21170695

>>21170680
Common maidens are welcome. A knight can't very well go around bedding noble women for fear of the political consequences if the lord/baron/duke finds out. But commoners? Aww yeah.

>> No.21170699
File: 54 KB, 328x445, 1345195447259.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21170699

>>21170356

>>No Normans

BY ALLAH'S BEARD, MY BOY, YOU FORGET THE MOST FEARSOME OF THE FERENJI.

>> No.21170700

>>21170680
Sure, but when I get you pregnant I'm not legitimizing the resulting bastard.

>> No.21170706

>>21170680
What a whore, showing her hair like that.

>> No.21170709
File: 120 KB, 685x600, YouVeryWereSheEelCloudVeryApeBeeApeWereIAreVeryYou.jpg.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21170709

>> No.21170716

>>21170639
Don't worry, as long as Lance and Gwen are discreet I'm sure Arturia won't mind.

>> No.21170722

>>21170706
Get thee back to Damascus, Saracen scum.

>> No.21170726

>>21170695
>>21170700
Arrogant cockerels! What makes you think I'd want to be bedded by you?!

>> No.21170738

>>21170726
I'm your landlord.

>> No.21170739

>>21170699
>ALLAH
Turks pls go.

>> No.21170755

>>21170664

Grab your glaive good sir, Sarranids are about.

>Sarranids have sieged almerra castle!

Hmmm. Delicious.

>> No.21170756

>>21170738
Oh. Right. Well in that case, how would you like to do this? Should I just wait in your chambers and disrobe myself?

>> No.21170757
File: 866 KB, 540x600, ralphhead.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21170757

>>21170739

No

Normans are bestmens

>> No.21170760
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21170760

>>21170726

>want

>> No.21170771

>>21170757
What are you even going on about? What do normans have to do with foul turks and mooslams?

>> No.21170772

>>21170756
What's your character's name on F-list?

wink wink nudge nudge

>> No.21170773

>>21170726
The bit where I'm well above you in social status and you're not even remotely valuable enough to your lord for him to give a shit about anything I might do to you short of murder?

>> No.21170780

>>21170771

I was making the point that >>21170356
didn't cite Normans.

>> No.21170803

>>21170756
You're sitting on a perfectly good bale of hay.

>> No.21170832

>>21170695
>>21170700
>>21170726
>>21170738
>>21170773
In all seriousness, exploiting or threatening the peasants was rare. You really don't want to stir up that hornet's nest. If a landlord DID propose a bit of rumpy-pumpy to a peasant girl, she'd probably leap at the chance, no threatening involved.

>> No.21170860

>>21170832
This.

It would be like an investment banker asking a girl from the projects to fuck. The answer would be yes 99% of the time without any additional threats or offers or reward.

>> No.21170861

>>21170772
Miller's Girl

>> No.21170900

>>21170861
Dammit, site's in maintenance. Now I will never have intimate relations with the miller's daughter.

>> No.21170923

>>21170861
Oh wait, I forgot - no ' before the s

>> No.21170924

>>21170900
I hear the baker has a good looking girl.

>> No.21170965

>>21170230
Yeah, basically, at least after the chivalry got in. Families that existed before that era were part of the elite warrior class employed by barbarian warlords and chiefs, their best and loyalest men.

This is reflected in the core values of Chivalry like physical bravery and loyalty, which were the most important values for the warrior class. As it got codified your social graces got a place, but the classic and important part was being a loyal, tough son of a bitch who wasn't afraid of anything.

>> No.21170981
File: 151 KB, 500x500, feelsbadman.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21170981

>tfw Georgian
>tfw child of Christ in a land surrounded by muslims, pagans and other heretics

I wish I was born in Europe.

>> No.21171046
File: 28 KB, 356x452, smiley - Copy.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21171046

>mfw both the vernacular being used in this thread and the overall content of peoples messages is vastly incongruous with both the things nobles would have complained about and how they would have done it.

I guess doing it in modern English is familiar, but geez, it's clear you people don't know so much about what concerned people in the time.

Read the fucking Canterbury Tales you rubes. Or maybe watch the Seventh Seal too.

TLDR: Clerics are corrupt assholes, Courtly Love is vaguely absurd and the young men who affect that style are giant, sissy boy faggots, gouging millers, cynical squires, etc.

>> No.21171062

>>21170981
>mfw American
>mfw the religion I've always followed is slowly shit on and ground out, as well as being twisted by extremest assholes who just want attention
>mfw I have no face.
Sometimes I wish I were born in Europe too.

>> No.21171070

>>21170900
Site's back up. Still there?

>> No.21171075

>>21171046
You seem to have missed the point of the thread. We're doing the usual "That feel when" sort of greentext stories you see on 4chan, but with a paper-thin medieval veneer on top. You know, for fun.

>> No.21171127

>>21171046
You know the Canterbury Tales weren't accurate depictions of the real medieval world, right?

Chaucer was basically the Borat of his time. It was all satire and exaggeration.

>> No.21171155

>>21170356
>Aragonese knights
>Worth the price of their armour.
NAY YOU KNAVE.

>No mention of the knights of the Italian republics.

>> No.21171163

>>21171046
>Chaucer as an accurate portrayal of medieval life
>Chaucer

It must be fun still being in grade school man. Or just a terrible community college. I can't tell which.

>> No.21171165

>>21171155
So much this.

The Milanese made some of the best plate armor in the world.

>> No.21171192
File: 26 KB, 500x339, wtf is this leaves.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21171192

>mfw the church wants us to honestly believe the Swedes aren't a race of filthy heathens
I swear; one of these days those pagans bastards are going to turn against our overly gracious Papacy. And then they'll regret letting the nords be friends of Europe!

>> No.21171197

>>21171046

>Whan that Aprill, with his shoures soote
>The droghte of March hath perced to the roote
>And bathed every veyne in swich licour,
>Of which vertu engendred is the flour;
>5 Whan Zephirus eek with his sweete breeth
>Inspired hath in every holt and heeth
>The tendre croppes, and the yonge sonne
>Hath in the Ram his halfe cours yronne,
>And smale foweles maken melodye,

Ok, sorry, I can't read this. My eyes are sore already.

>> No.21171261

>>21171197
No shit. It's basically a foreign language.

Ye olde English is about as legible as Latin.

>> No.21171262

>>21171192
The Danish king has build more churches than any other, and has mobilized the church for battle.
To doubt the intentions of the Nord is denying the wisdom of the Church.

We can only hope the Church will still need knights if this continues.

>> No.21171273

>>21171261
Latin is easily legible.
It's just dead.

>> No.21171300

>>21171273
The College Student's Lament:

"Latin is a dead language
It's plain enough to see
It killed off all the romans
And now it's killing me!"

>> No.21171337

>>21171197
Let me have a shot at this.

>When that April, with his
>That dought of march had pierced to the root (Nasty drought?)
>And bathed every vein in sweet liquor (Hot summer?)
>Of which vertu engendred is the flower (Something referring to liquor?)
>When Zephirus eke with his sweet breath (Zephirus said something and he has nice breath?)
>Inspired something something
>Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

Wow. No, that is hard.

>> No.21171378
File: 117 KB, 600x626, cthulhuphngluimhlwnafhcthulhurlyehwagnnaglfhtagn.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21171378

>>21171337

>> No.21171405

>>21171378
The first bit, sir!
And the end.
...
And I guess most of the middle, too.
Please don't eat me.

>> No.21171433
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21171433

>summoned before the Doge
>awarded governance of territory in former Byzantine Empire
>survive arduous land voyage
>ottomans, ottomans everywhere
>wat do?

>> No.21171453
File: 34 KB, 400x310, toweldogispleased.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21171453

>>21171433

>the doge

>> No.21171465

>>21171433
Restore Rome.

>> No.21171475

>>21171433
>Doge
>Not doux

>> No.21171536

>>21171433
Carve out a new empire from the bloated corpse of the Eastern Romans, and pick fights with the Turks. That can only end well

>> No.21171541
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21171541

>> No.21171586
File: 23 KB, 220x285, 220px-Tizian_059.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21171586

>>21171475
That's-a "Monsignor el Doxe" to you, moulignon!

>> No.21171631
File: 98 KB, 444x296, merchant-of-venice-20041122105547290-000[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21171631

>>21171586
>Implying the Doge has any power
You know we merchants control Venice and gave you your job right? Or do we need to oust you like we did your predecessor?

>> No.21171716
File: 23 KB, 220x282, 220px-John_Lydgate.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21171716

> Be born to peasant family in Suffolk
> Get sent to monastery and forced to take vows of chastity
> End up writing Chaucer fanfic with antiwar themes because there's fuck all else to do
> Asshole picks it up while I'm taking a shit, tells me he's going to get it published
> Too beta to tell him that the ending is shit and it's Chaucer fanfic
> tfw you will never get your dick wet and people think you're a poser

fml

>> No.21171753
File: 13 KB, 220x258, marantonio-trevisan.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21171753

>>21171631
I've spent several fortunes gathering a network of spies and assassins that will ruin you. I've made debtors of kings, emperors, cardinals and popes. A single word and I could see any of you humiliated, excommunicated or outright murdered in the street. I am not the man with whom you wish to fuck...That's -why- I allowed you to give me the job.

>> No.21171827
File: 67 KB, 500x600, ChristophFugger.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21171827

>>21171753

> He thinks temporal power means anything anymore!
> laughingalewives.png

Pic related, it's someone with REAL power.

>> No.21171849
File: 39 KB, 460x447, english-cog.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21171849

>Hark fellows! Just bringing some treasures from the Orient. Oh and rats. Did I mention there's some strange malady spreading amongst the foreign lands?

>> No.21171890
File: 18 KB, 289x325, machiavelli.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21171890

>>21171827
Best back the fuck up before you get smacked the fuck up.

>> No.21171901

>>21171849
Bah! There's always rats! And any plague amongst foriegn lands is the blessing of god unto us! Now onto those treasures....

>> No.21171923
File: 104 KB, 499x528, 862030_com_moors.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21171923

>Moor Slave
>Wat Do?

>> No.21171936

>>21171890
Oh hey! Look! Its our personal bitch! Say, why don't you write a book talking about how to be a great leader, and make it all about how I rule Florence? You could call it "The King" or something like that

>>21171827
I will see your family dead one day, you scoundrel

>> No.21171942
File: 217 KB, 1032x1400, 1324625040056.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21171942

Hey guys, what's going on in this thre-

>> No.21171955

>>21171923
I certainly don't have engravings in my potter house. Something is amiss.

>> No.21171957
File: 20 KB, 220x212, 1324625134034.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21171957

>>21171849

>> No.21172079

>Be mid-level Scottish knight
>Get told Scotland is fighting England for fuck all reason
>What the fuck, guys?
>Can't we all get along and murder some fucking heathen scum?
>I really hate those Moors. They really rustle my jimmies

>> No.21172111

>>21171942
>Asterix visits a brothel

>> No.21172127

>>21172079
No. And we'll be going after the Irish once we take your lands and your women

>> No.21172157
File: 38 KB, 300x425, My brian is full of moors.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21172157

>>21171923

>> No.21172175

>> 21172127
Uh, I'm not okay with this. Like, seriously guys. There's heathens to kill, pillage from, and we're fighting each other?

Better yet, why don't we both go kill those Irish pricks?

>> No.21172193

>>21172175
Tell you what. The queen doesn't have an heir. You can just send James over and we can oppress the Irish together. All you have to do is accept the Church of England

>> No.21172212

>>21172193

Hmm... What's the Church of England offer that Calvinism doesn't? Plus, if I switch, and I help you guys take over the rest of the Catholic douches, will I get more land and a noble title? James is a pretty legit guy, too. He's not a complete douchemonkey.

>> No.21172217

>>21170716
Fuck Agravine and that bastard Mordred.

>> No.21172224

>>21172212
Sure. Just so long as his son Charles doesn't try and go all catholic on us

>One Civil war and One Glorious Revolution Later

God Save William and Mary of Orange!

>> No.21172235

>>21170382
>this is the actual story of this helmet

>> No.21172286

>>21172224

Only a real jackass would go back to Catholicism.

>One civil war and Glorious Revolution later...
God save William and Mary of Orange!

Sorry about that Charles fucker. He really was kind of a douche.

>> No.21172305

>>21172286
Its quite alright. Now we can go back to fighting the French, copying the Dutch and oppresing the Irish.

God Save the King!

>> No.21172307
File: 102 KB, 684x569, pulleth mine finger.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21172307

Thou thinkest you haveth it bad? My lord thinks himself the jovial and clever man.

>> No.21172356

>>21172305

God Save the King!

>That feel when you know a couple of Jacobites
>That feel when they try to convince you to buy them muskets and uniforms
>That feel when you quietly 'lose' so- actually quite a lot of cash for them to use.
>That feel when you're so fucked if the Hanoverians find out.

>> No.21172359

>>21172307
William the Bastard hath the worst sense of humor in all the lands of Normandy.

>> No.21172364

>>21172127
Feck off, Germans!

>> No.21172406

Hey, uh, 21172193, we may want to oppress 21172364 some more. Someone is getting uppity..

>> No.21172465

>>21171936
It was a satirical piece and scathing critique you douchepiston.

>> No.21172483

>>21171942
I need to know what this painting is called, for research purposes.

>> No.21172919

>>21171827
>alewife

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alewives
Wut?

>> No.21172979

>>21170047
There is a landed noble family in Britain whose duty, whose valiant act that earned them the nobility was washing the monarch's hands.
They still are required to offer to wash the Queen's hands each year. She politely declines.

>> No.21177614

>>21171197
Hah, I just came out a lecture on this exact paragraph (no i don't know why we got no bloody further).
Second time doing the Tales, though, so I've got an easier time of it than the rest of the class. Sometimes I think running out of money halfway through the first degree wasn't so bad.

>> No.21177976
File: 17 KB, 271x400, Cheese Jesus.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21177976

>>21170209
That noble family... W-was born to nobles,

Okay, mo serious answer:
> Any large number of people working in tandem needs a leader, whether to allocate resources or urge the men to war.
>As the leader is probably most physically impressive and most highly looked upon, he gets first dibs on all the tribe's stuff.
>His is now the most wealthy family present.
After a while of expanding and learning stoneworking for buildings, origin of all that wealth is forgotten, and the best answer anyone can give for nobles being better off is because their ancestors were just naturally more hardworking than the plebians below them. Cue claims of being descended directly from Cheesus.

This is in no way the *actual* explanation, it's just what seemed logical to me.

>> No.21179219

>>21177976
basically, it works like this
>group gets a good leader, he makes them successful
>they give him good shit because he deserves it
>well whaddya know, the apple didn't fall far from the tree; his son is also good at leading
>maybe there's a pattern? make leader and their descendants king of the tribe
>by the time the inevitable black sheep crops up, the idea of king is too ingraned into the culture, people learn to live with it
>???
>incest
>???
>England loses entire continent to filthy American colonists

>> No.21179236

>>21170199
What, first crusade?

Cheer up, the mohametans don't regroup for a century.

>> No.21179268

>>21179219
>Pig dusgusting sub-49th parallel lands
>Entire continent

>> No.21179271
File: 152 KB, 945x1125, tasili.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21179271

>your wife and son get kidnapped by the star gods
>half of your tribe dissapears
>draw all that shit in the caves so the sons of my great great great grandsons can know the truth
>10.000 years later
>its just an abstract drawing
>god fucking dammit

>> No.21179322
File: 133 KB, 624x443, 1315945349158.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21179322

>the honourable and fair lord of your lands is held prisoner
>his son raises an army to free him
>you're a common-born, simple man who has never been more than a mile from the house where you were born
>Poorly shod and poorly clad, you march away beneath your lord's banners
>Brothers march with brothers, sons with fathers, friends with friends
>You've heard the songs and stories, so you go off with an eager heart, dreaming of the wonders you will see, of the wealth and glory you will win
>War seems a fine adventure
>Then you get a taste of battle.
>For some, that one taste is enough to break them
>you go on for years, until you lose count of all the battles you have fought in
>you see brothers die, fathers lose their sons, friends trying to hold their entrails in after they’ve been gutted by an axe
>you see the lord who led you there cut down, and some other lord shouts that you are his now.
>you take a wound, and when that’s still half-healed you take another

>> No.21179328
File: 3 KB, 84x73, i dont want that feel.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21179328

>>21179322
>There is never enough to eat, your shoes fall to pieces from the marching, your clothes are torn and rotting, and half your comrades are shitting in their breeches from drinking bad water.
>If you want new boots or a warmer cloak or maybe a rusted iron halfhelm, you need to take them from a corpse, and before long you're stealing from the living too, from the smallfolk whose lands you’re fighting in, men very like the man you used to be
>you slaughter their sheep and steal their chickens, and from there it’s just a short step to carrying off their daughters too
>and one day you look around and realize all your friends and kin are gone, that you are fighting beside strangers beneath a banner you hardly recognize
>you don’t know where you are or how to get back home and the lord you’re fighting for does not know your names, yet here he comes, shouting for you to form up, to make a line with your spears and scythes and sharpened hoes, to stand your ground.
>And the knights come down on you, faceless men clad all in steel, and the iron thunder of their charge seems to fill the world …

>And then you break.
>tfw

>> No.21179352

>>21170436

>Opportunity to slaughter infidels
>Immense wealth from looting
>Exotic locales, women and foods
>If you die you go to Heaven, guaranteed
>If you DON'T die you still go to Heaven
>Seen as a hero amongst the smallfolk once you get back home, assuming you don't stay in the Levant for a Crusader State/Military Order.

Shit man, what's not to like?

>> No.21179353

>>21171337
It's april.
I'm thinking "Draught" as in beer or in this case spring rain.
Stuff is well watered.
Shit's starting to grow.
It's windy.
Kids are playing.
Birds are singing.

>> No.21179368

>>21179328
>>21179322

That was one of the few times GRRM was able to actually make a profound statement that actually holds water in the real-world (at least, Medieval Times.)

Septon Meribald was a badass.

>> No.21179393

>>21170356
thou knowest that the first king to go crusading was norwegian?

>> No.21179425
File: 14 KB, 900x600, malta-flag.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21179425

Malta here!

Please, Europe! Fuck me some more!

>> No.21179476
File: 28 KB, 150x249, strong bag.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21179476

>>21171433
W-what? Your doge? What are you talking about? I'm Strong Bad!

>> No.21179625
File: 37 KB, 500x500, 51CEC6EBKEL._SS500_.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21179625

>>21171197
Ah the Canterbury tales.

I recommend this: http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0393925870/ref=oh_details_o02_s00_i01

"presented here in the original language but with spelling and annotations for modern readers. Sources and background information are included for the General Prologue and for most of the tales, enabling students to understand them in the light of relevant mediaeval ideas and attitudes. Nine critical essays are featured, along with a chronology and selected bibliography."

Essentially it's the tales made readable but without fucking them over with modern language and bowdlerization.
if you're seriously interested in actually learning about the Canterbury tales, there's your start point without having to take courses in history and language.

>> No.21179827

>>21179625

>can't into Middle English

Get on my level.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s000I5AGUjbL

>> No.21179914

>>21179393
And the crusades were such marvelous victories

>> No.21180122
File: 458 KB, 250x289, 1349652726743.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
21180122

>>21179827

This knygga.

>>21171197

> Whan that Aprill, with his shoures soote

(When April, with His sweet showers)

> The droghte of March hath perced to the roote

(The drought of March have penetrated the earth to get to the roots)

> And bathed every veyne in swich licour,

(And washed every root of the plants with sweet liquor)

> Of which vertu engendred is the flour;

(That makes the flower tall and strong)

> 5 Whan Zephirus eek with his sweete breeth

(When the West Wind each with his sweet breath)

> Inspired hath in every holt and heeth

(Fills every grove and heath)

> The tendre croppes, and the yonge sonne

(The crop shoots and the young sun)

> Hath in the Ram his halfe cours yronne,

(The Ram - Aries - is halfway across the ecliptic)

> And smale foweles maken melodye,

(And small birds make pretty songs.)

It's all very beautiful, and the Tales themselves are actually pretty deep. You should try reading it.

>> No.21180158

>>21170209

Being rich and fighty when manorialism was the latest craze.

>> No.21180584

>>21180122
the Cantbury tales are absolutely amazing and hilarious. They inspired me to write poetry in the same style, just because it sounded so GOOD. My poetry is obviously not good, but hell, the fact that the inspiration existed is impressive.

And, if course, they're quite humorous.

>> No.21180655

>tfw Anglo-Saxon
>tfw we spend our blood and tears to drive out the hated Danes, only to get conquered by their bastard cousins

>> No.21181046

>>21171197
wikitionary helped with anything I had no idea about and a google search helped with 'heeth', but then I have a wide vocabulary and enjoy delving into etymology

"When April comes with his rains"
the drought of March withers the roots"
and bathed every vein/vine in such liquor"
of which virtue engendered is the flower"
>something about a woman's chastity, I think
"When Zephyr also with his sweet breath"
>spring? Zephyr is one of the four winds
"Has inspired in every hill and hearth/home"
The tender crops and the young son"
Has in the Ram his half-course run"
> reference to the middle of a zodiacal alignment, no idea of the meaning of the Ram in Spring
"And small birds sing"

I can tell you this, it's going to wind up being a baudy sex joke.

>> No.21182977

Please Europe, come and get some. Especially you Austria, do you want to lose more land? And Russia, you tired of not being as cool as us?

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