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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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[ERROR] No.21156229 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

You are a fighter pilot of the 501st Joint Fighter Squadron, and you've just liberated an entire crate of fresh food.

FRESH food. Not C-Rations, or D-Rations, or week-old veggies dragged across the seabed from the mainland, or water with a chicken dragged through it and called "soup." As good as the food is at Barin, compared to the sludge at Eastchurch, really, really good, fresh food is still harder to come by; especially with the island under constant attack after half the brass of Allied Command decided to set up shop there.

You had just parted company with Trude near the hangar, after giving Sean and Sakamoto some privacy, when you saw the L-carts with the supplies still in their boxes. Picking one with a good variety, you decided to aqquire it for Special Purposes.

It occurs to you that you've still got plenty of booze from the Great Booze Run left... in combination, you've got some potential at hand.

>Throw PARTY?
>Gnomes and Witches
>Gnomes and Generals
>you get the fucking idea, vote already

>> No.21156249

>Throw party
>Only Eila
>Final destination

>> No.21156253

Well, Sean and Sakamoto are going to be gone for a while.

Patton and Rommel at least, gents.

>> No.21156258

Fuck Yeah

>> No.21156262


Invite YEAGERS and ROBIN to help us set up, then throw the doors open because I would feel like shit if I didn't get invited to something like that.

>> No.21156266


Throw a party. Invite witches. Maybe Ian and Perrine. I dunno.

>> No.21156280

Well more accurately curse my slow reaction times and not being able to find the right image fast enough

>> No.21156281

Get those SAS bastards, and Minna, and shirley, and our crew. fuck it bring in everyone

>> No.21156282

We can't have a proper party without ice cream.

Say, ain't there a Navy ship nearby? And don't they have ice cream makers?

>> No.21156284

>Sanya We owe Adorable Cossack big even if they burned the evidence

>> No.21156286

Gnomes and Witches, obviously. If we include the brass then nobody can really have a good time.

>> No.21156290



>> No.21156292

have the party be open for all

>> No.21156297

While we're acquiring guests we should find Minna and use this as a chance to get GLORIOUS VENGEANCE on Cupcake together. There's bound to be ample opportunity at a party.

>> No.21156300

No high brass. And get the flight crews

>> No.21156309

Gnomes, Witches, and Rommel.

>> No.21156318

>Make sure family is alive

>> No.21156319

Invite everyone

>> No.21156327


>> No.21156333

AHahah, YES

>> No.21156342

We must hide the potatoes. Quickly.

>> No.21156346

also this. we REALLY need to check this

>> No.21156350

>Throw PARTY
>Open door
>anyone that wants to party can
>except the crew chief fuck him

>> No.21156358


Miyafuji (She'll bitch if she isn't invited)
Allow each to invite TWO people.

>> No.21156370

witches, gnomes and the support crew, no brass however.

Dunno about any parents that might still be around.

>> No.21156389

Invite all less brass and press.

>> No.21156395

>except the crew chief fuck him


>> No.21156403

No! Not Tesla! That celibate cock-blocking bastard! If it wasn't for him, MC would have laid Minna the first time around!

>> No.21156404

Well, as long as we're inviting people. Gotta get all the pilots and other miscellaneous aircrew, because they know how to party. I would caution against inviting brass, since they're likely to have a cooling effect on shenanigans.

>> No.21156431

fuck you! we got to test out shark plane!

>> No.21156437

Witches and pilot crew only

no field staff allowed

>> No.21156455

>implying anon didn't cockblock themselves plenty of time without Tesla or PF's help.

>> No.21156464

>Invite Ian's mom

>> No.21156472


>> No.21156481

No...it wasn't Tesla...



>> No.21156493

This is the best Idea I have seen all night

>> No.21156495

YES, anon is right for once!

>> No.21156497

I stand by my irrational loathing of Tesla!

But sometime, somewhere, we should apologize to Sanya.

>> No.21156498

I like this one.
Also Cupcake.

>> No.21156516

This is hilarious to me for reasons.

>> No.21156524

It will be alright

>> No.21156535

B-but... What should I get her for Valentines day?

>> No.21156542

A pillow.

>> No.21156548 [SPOILER] 


>> No.21156567

I posted in these threads a billion years ago. is
still the theme song?

>> No.21156571

>irrational loathing of Tesla

What, you think you're Edison or something?

>> No.21156574


Just joking, a good di-

>> No.21156650

Silicon-based lube, the Old Faithful, his little friends, beads, plugs, cuffs, rope, a paddle or two, enemas, towels, whine, whiskey, water, fresh fruit, cream, some bread, cheese, oysters and the only key to the room.

>> No.21156656

these. also fuck year swq

>> No.21156664

Invite Gnomes and Witches (with the exception of Sean and Sakamoto who are occupied)

>> No.21156668 [DELETED] 

I don't think your body is ready

>> No.21156709 [DELETED] 

Surely isn't. That's what the enemas are for.
Maybe some amphetamines are in order as well.
I surely have some of that WWI stuff around here somewhere...

>> No.21156724

Invite Luke.
>Wait what-

>> No.21156735

what the fuck....

>> No.21156738

>invite conrad
>convince everyone to yell "you're a gnome!" when he enters (like a surprise birthday)

>> No.21156748

And he go straight for us, know it's our doing.

>> No.21156757

> Conrad spends the remainder of his time on base kicking everyone in the balls
> one by one

>> No.21156767

As you wheel the purloined cart through the hallways, the squee-squee of unoiled wheels squealing down the rough stone interior of Barin's older, Roman-era hallways, you find yourself feeling a little lonely. You learn quick to treasure alone time in the armed forces, but Sean and Ian almost feel like your brothers at this point; and being apart from them leaves a big, empty hole in your life that should be filled with you harassing the hell out of them. Ian has Perrine, Sean is currently, ah, 'engaged defensive' with Mio, and Minna is... Minna.

Venturing deep into the cellar, you locate the disused side-room where you stashed a truly insane amount of booze. Not all of it yours, but you figure the ground crews won't mind a Donation to the Cause. You brought it here, after all. Having loaded your stolen cart with enough punch-mixing materiel to make it groan, you wheel it back towards the cargo elevator at the "front" of the castle, and the most-used cellar rooms.

As you near your objective, you see none other then Paddy Mayne come 'round the corner, hobbling along on a crutch. You nod companionably as you roll your loaded cart right past him, his head slowly tracking you as you pass. After a few seconds, you hear him hobbling faster to catch up.

You stab the elevator button violently and repeatedly, staring at the indicator lights with intense focus, as if you could impel it to descend faster through sheer psychic concentration. Everybody does that, you realize, but for you it should actually WORK.

It never does.

At long last, the goddamned car arrives and the doors grind open with a prosaic little "ding!" and a blitzkrieg of chibi-tanks comes swarming out to meet you.

>your face when

>> No.21156781

Also, get one of those crotch shields.

>> No.21156785

I wonder if this is in response to anon going full retard with the party stuff.

>> No.21156797


>> No.21156816

>ding!" and a blitzkrieg of chibi-tanks comes swarming out to meet you

oh god the MC cannot hold all his spaghetti

>> No.21156823

Sure he can, he's got a cart.

>> No.21156825

dammit are we asleep again

>> No.21156827

> chibi-tanks
> Our Face When

>> No.21156828

I'm now imagining mini-Minnas on those tanks, reinacting the Minna Blitzkrieg.

>> No.21156838


>> No.21156873


>> No.21156878

Chibi tanks? Wha-

>Goliath anti-tank mine


>> No.21156885

well, commie's troll subs for Girls und Panzer were almost half german
>pic related

>> No.21156893

Gentlemen! I do believe it's time to try going on a stomping spree, as though one of those monsters from those japanese films.

>> No.21156913

Seconding this.

>> No.21156921

>Goliath anti-tank mind

>> No.21156926

Ihr Bauern!

>> No.21156929

The sound of a tank column advancing in miniature, high-pitched squeaks and adorable little clankities echo out of the dark elevator as a swarm of curious little tracked vehicles come clattering out of the spacious freight elevator. They swerve around your legs neatly and go rattling down the hall, a migrating herd of babies not yet grown into tankettes.

You and Paddy exchange a look.

"What, the actual fuck?" you say to each other.

>Well THAT was interesting, lets get going
>How can we NOT investigate swarms of chibitanks?

>> No.21156931

>those subs

I wish I had a picture of that gits dub with bato.

>> No.21156933

Could be worse

>> No.21156936

>Goliath anti-tank mind

>> No.21156946

>How can we NOT investigate swarms of chibitanks?

What did Tesla do this time?

>> No.21156948

>>Well THAT was interesting, lets get going
We have achohol to drink

>> No.21156953

>Well THAT was interesting, lets get going
Sorry, we have a party to plan.

>> No.21156954

>How can we NOT investigate swarms of chibitanks?
Hide the booze first though.

>> No.21156956

>Well THAT was interesting, lets get going

Use the tanks to distract Paddy!


>> No.21156961

Wasn't SW89 supposed to be tonight?

>> No.21156965

Well THAT was interesting, lets get going

party now, investigate later

>> No.21156967

>Well THAT was interesting, lets get going

>> No.21156969

As much as I want to party, need to do this.

>> No.21156971

I liked the Zen thing we had going last time...but the temptation to press the obvious big red button is nigh overwhelming
>pound liquor whilst following tanks, or just party time

>> No.21156973

>Hey man, how 'bout YOU go investigate. I have a party to set up. Tell me about it when you swing by later."

>> No.21156974

>How can we NOT investigate swarms of chibitanks?
I know we're trying not to give a fuck today, but c'mon! Swarm of chibitanks!

>> No.21156976

Thought so.

>> No.21156991

investigate that shit like a Call of Cthulhu PC

>> No.21156994


Moved to Thursday in polite deference to me, which was really nice of him.

>> No.21157003

>old man henderson
>lawn gnomes
...it all makes sense now

>> No.21157012

>well THAT was interesting, let's get going

>> No.21157023

>How can we NOT investigate swarms of chibitanks?

u wot

>> No.21157040

>>How can we NOT investigate swarms of chibitanks?

>> No.21157041

>well THAT was interesting, let's get going
Mechanical things moving on their own? Probably Tesla, he has that shit on lockdown.

>> No.21157045


Adorable thought they may be, don't get too attached to them. They're essentially mobile mines.

>> No.21157051

Wait. Is that really planefag back? I must be seeing gnomes.

>> No.21157052

How do we know this? Keep it period, writefag

>> No.21157063


Also, this:


>> No.21157065

Indeed. Two days' wait won't kill me anyway.

I'm reading your story. Right now.

>> No.21157067

>Looking in history books
>Wondering where all the wee men went

>> No.21157069

See, it's stuff like going after the little shiny things that tend to do the cockblocking in this quest, not a character butting in.

>> No.21157070

Disarm one and keep it as a pet. Or don't disarm it.

We can call it Mini-Minna!

>> No.21157071

even without knowing they're mines, MC'd know that something this crazy could only come from the electric wizard himself

>> No.21157080

Well sure, but that's even more reason to investigate.

>> No.21157082

We have a resident mad scientist on base whom I loathe with an Edison-like hatred. He always comes in with a big scene-grabbing distraction that accomplishes nothing save preventing anon from accomplishing whatever anon was trying to accomplish or prevent himself from accomplishing at the time. I say not this time. The party shall go forth!

>> No.21157097

we have a party to throw. tesla can bring his chibi tanks and use them as serving platters

>> No.21157119

Well thanks! Nice to know, tell are your friends, make sure to comment and all that stuff!

(Actually you can tell me here too I guess.)

>> No.21157134



>> No.21157171

Half way through chapter 2.

You really need to write faster.

>> No.21157193

I'm trying! Part way through chapter 4 already. But my ideas are epic story long and I can only write so fast. Fav it and keep watching.

>> No.21157232

You and Paddy watch the small army of tiny tanks rattle away into the depths of Castle Barin.

"... should we...?" Paddy asks hesitantly.

"Eh," you say. "Something like that's always happening around here. And every time I chase it down, I get wrapped up in some new insanity. Nothing good ever comes of it."

Paddy gives you a lidded-eye look. "Aside from the lightning-sharkplane and sleeping with the hot red-headed German."

"... how did you know-"

"I didn't. Emphasis on 'didn't'."

".... okay, point taken," you say, rolling your cart into a shadowed corner. "But if Tesla's involved, we stay out of it. He's a cyclone of crazy that sucks everybody in."

"In other words, he steals the spotlight from you."

"... it's calmer in the eye of the storm, you know?"

Paddy nods sagely. "I do. You're either the bludgeoned victims, or the lone madman beating soldiers to death with a Bf-109 instrument panel."

"... right," you say warily, evaluating the length and sturdiness of Paddy's cane anew. "Lets get trackin'."

With Paddy clanking along behind, you follow the distant squeaks and clanks through the old hallways a while. After a bit, Paddy takes the lead, moving faster.

"I think I know where they're going," he says. Shortly, he leads you to a hallway you recognize - the one leading to the room where Sanya was sheltered after her psionic 'incident.' Sure enough, a few muted clicks and clanks emanate from inside. You and Paddy stick your heads in curiously.

A woman with long white hair is kneeling on the floor, watching the little tanks as they orderly line up in two parade rows before her. She seems to be focused, and doesn't notice your presence.

>wat do

>> No.21157239

Will do. If need be I can probably set you up with a beta reader.

>> No.21157257

Cough loudly. Ask if mini-tanks make good pets.

>> No.21157262

Smile, nod, and go back the way we came. Party, yo.

Also, mind the Heidlemarie. She spooks easily, and she got someone who doesn't like seeing her spooked.

>> No.21157264

Observe quietly. If she's a witch, we should make nice, and let's not do anything overtly mechanical where she may see it and put two and two together.

>> No.21157272

>"I didn't. Emphasis on 'didn't'."

>> No.21157276

>Heidi using radios to control babby tanks


>> No.21157277

"Cute tanks."

>> No.21157282

Well that's nice.

Back to the starting up that party.

>> No.21157286

Uhm, sure. You could probably tell from my profile that I'm new to writing so I've kinda got an idea what you're talking about but not sure. PM me there, it'll probably be best.

>> No.21157297

We might as well have started screaming 'I FUCKED MINNA" from the rooftops.

Not a bad idea, actually.

>> No.21157299

"Can I keep one?"

>> No.21157300

This brings up the question: Is this white-haired woman wearing pants?

>> No.21157306


Damn it, PF! Answer my PMs as this is going to affect my planned project!

>> No.21157310

Say something appropriately icebreaking and cute.

>> No.21157312






who are you faget

>> No.21157313


>> No.21157324


>> No.21157325

>>sleeping with the hot red-headed German.

Jesus, was it that fucking obivious?

>> No.21157328

..- .-. / .- / ..-. .- --. --. --- -

>> No.21157346

start drinking. observe. damnit people, it is time for partying
news travels fast in the land of the pantsless
also, weren't some of his men sitting outside our closet when that happened?

>> No.21157362

Hasn't Heidi been on base for a while now? We saw her like 30-40 threads ago.

>> No.21157375

She hadn't gotten laid in over a year. Hell, she probably couldn't even masturbate without guilt about Kurt's death overwhelming her.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure she was pretty goddamn loud.

>> No.21157384

think we distracted muhreens with her, didn't we?
-. .- -.-- / - .... . .

>> No.21157388

Planefag was ambiguous on that point.

>> No.21157396

Oh... Oh god

She used the tanks to draw us here



>> No.21157416

Well, she's not Tesla, which is good, since we're avoiding Tesla. She seems to be a witch. We're trying to put together a party, witches invited. Solution: Invite new witch to party.

>> No.21157434

I thought that the walls would have been thick enough to block the sound.

>> No.21157441

Her or "Princess"

>> No.21157445


>> No.21157447

"Heidi~ho," you call just as Paddy schmoozes, "awww, can I keep one?"

The reaction is excellent. The white-haired woman - a Witch, judging from her trouser emancipation - manages to leap, twirl, and make it to the corner of the room in one motion. The two rows of minitanks surge forward, forming a line-abreast barricade between you and her in almost as much time.

"Sorry," Paddy says, not sounding very sorry. "Saw the little tanks trooping out of the elevator and we wondered what was going on."

"Ah~" the Witch says, letting a little sigh past the fisted hands pressed against her mouth.

A silence stretches.

"So what's going on?" you ask, pointing at the tanks. "Are you controlling those?"

She nods, not moving her hands. It's a rather odd sight; she's not as young as other witches - sixteen or seventeen at the worst, you guesstimate - and rather tall, too. Her pale complexion contrasts sharply with her dark, almost rubescent eyes... but despite her potentially imposing appearance, she's obviously terribly shy.

>Make a note of this for Sanya and move on.

>> No.21157448

Some sounds can't be blocked by mere 'walls'.

>> No.21157465


>> No.21157467

/i don;t think you're understanding here. MC still has bells ringing in his ears.

>> No.21157472

"Want to come to the party?"

>> No.21157473


>> No.21157476

>>Make a note of this for Sanya and move on.

>> No.21157481

Make a note of this for Sanya and move on. But inform her of the party anyways incase she wants to come.

No point in dragging the poor girl.

>> No.21157483


"Come, there is partying to be done and we can not have a proper party without your tiny tanks. We need you and your tanks if we want this party to be a true success."

>> No.21157484

>>Make a note of this for Sanya and move on.
Parties and such

>> No.21157489

>Make a note of this for Sanya and move on.
Can we use the party to build a massive pillowfort?

>> No.21157499


>> No.21157500

can't we do both?
>adorable cossack commanding legion of chibitanks

>> No.21157505

Want to party?

>> No.21157507

>Heidi has no friends
>Uses radar magic to command robotic "friends"

>> No.21157508


>> No.21157513

Did you learn nothing from the last time social fucktards such as yourself asked for such a thing?

>> No.21157518

Wait, that wasn't the point of having the party?

>> No.21157520 [SPOILER] 

bring forth the hue

>> No.21157523

>little robots...

>> No.21157524


I'll second that.

>> No.21157529

She bring the itty bitty tank committee too.

>> No.21157534

Both sounds good.

>Add to little sister brigade

>> No.21157535


>> No.21157546



>> No.21157550

She CAN bring.


>> No.21157551

That's sad

>> No.21157560

>Make a note of this for Sanya and move on.

>> No.21157575

Introduce self. Invite witch to party.

>> No.21157593


>> No.21157630

We're not inviting the titty monster or spaghetti gremlin, so she shouldn't have TOO much trouble.

>> No.21157657

>Not inviting Charlotte
u wot m8

>> No.21157677

>titty monster or spaghetti gremlin


>> No.21157680

Let's make it a little sister party. That'll be fun.

>> No.21157684

if only ;_;

>> No.21157698

Looks shopped. Also, the Minna on the table isn't circled.

>> No.21157705

>not inviting shirley
What the fuck is wrong with you

>> No.21157707

It is shopped. Several of those picture frames weren't even there in the original picture.

>> No.21157709

OFFER invitation to the party. Allow her a way to gracefully decline.

>> No.21157715

Plus our bros and Minna, of course. And Sakamoto and Perrine, if they insist on bitching about it.

>> No.21157716

pushy people aren't too unusual to her, considering how Princess has a one-sided friendship with her.

>> No.21157724

Don't interrupt her and Sean's "Happy time" (or fucking until it's rape time)

>> No.21157728

>little sister party
>literally a cartload of booze
this will not end well

>> No.21157739

sure it will

>> No.21157741

Seeing the gorgeous, terribly shy Night Witch cowering in the corner, with only an army of cold robotic chibitanks for company, you feel your heart sink with sympathy. You've drawn one shy, withdrawn Night Witch out of her shell, why not another?

You introduce yourself. "And this is Paddy Mayne. Who are you?"


"You're a Night Witch?"

She nods, her eyes darting between you and Paddy, though she manages to tuck her hands behind her back, finding refuge in the familiar dignity of the parade rest stance.

You smile warmly. "I'm a P-61 pilot, myself. How long have you been at Barin?"

Heidi opens her mouth to speak... and lets it hang open as her eyes widen with recognition. You're still processing this as bad news when you notice her pawing absently at her waist, where her service pistol would usually be belted.

Hedi and you reach the same conclusion at the exact same time.


>> No.21157746

Make a note of this for sanya and move on

>> No.21157753

He should know that he's welcome. Maybe his hips are sore.

>> No.21157763

We should have moved on.

>> No.21157764


>> No.21157767


>> No.21157769


why's she trying to shoot MC?

>> No.21157771

What the fuck just happened?

>> No.21157774

No cockblocking someone else; it's bad enough we cockblock young as much as it is.


ANd shit goes down.

>> No.21157777


>> No.21157778


We've been all responsible and shit lately, lets keep it up.

>> No.21157787


>> No.21157788

Ah crap, Minna's right behind us, isn't she?


>> No.21157789


>> No.21157790

Planefag, what the fuck conclusion did she reach that she's trying to kill us?

>> No.21157792

Stand our ground like Belgium! THEY SHALL NOT PASS THE MARNE... wait... that was France. Which was attacked... through Belgium.

>> No.21157795

I think it's more an alien or something else threatening.

>> No.21157799

So...wanna come party?
>night witch
iirc we used to fuck with them constantly, being night pilots and all

>> No.21157800


>> No.21157801

what's the AEF?

>> No.21157803

Wait, what did we do that she wants to shoot us for?

>> No.21157804


We should sit down to appear less threatening to her. Who would shoot a man sitting on the floor?

>> No.21157812

No cockblocking implied. He's our bro, and he deserves to know that he can come, even if he doesn't.

>> No.21157814

American Expeditionary Force. Force sent over during WW1

>> No.21157820


Thousands of soldiers huddling on Dunkirk's beach waiting for evactuation.

>> No.21157822


Stand our ground, invite her and her tanks to the party. We have grown up since our Night Witch bouncing days, we take responsibility for stuff, we even apologize on occasion.

>> No.21157823

Allied Expeditionary Force, the guys who got their asses kicked when the Germans invaded France and had to evacuate at Dunkirk

>> No.21157824

I still think it's something else besides us.

>> No.21157826


>> No.21157834


>> No.21157840

We drew a group of Marine's attention to her...while she wasn't wearing underwear.

We *really* need to stop assuming that witches don't have memories...

>> No.21157847

Nothing says "I don't feel tense and threatened" like leaning over backwards from a sitting position.

>> No.21157849

It's not that I can't think of any reason why someone wouldn't want to shoot MC. It's just that there are so many possible reasons that I'm not sure which one applies here.

I vote for standing our ground. If we run, Heidi will be safely out of the tanks' blast radius.

>> No.21157853

neither of these options sound conducive to our continued well being...
...Screw it, may as well go out like Man

>> No.21157856

Not a step back!

>> No.21157862

>AMERICAN Expeditionary Force

Yeah, no.


>> No.21157864

that is assuming she was the victim and not Princess

>> No.21157876

Our legendary ADOS strikes again.

Weren't we throwing a party the likes of which barin would talk of for decades to come?

>> No.21157883

Stand your ground, pilot.

>> No.21157884


The fuck did he do? So much shit has happened I've lost track.

>> No.21157885

We are currently trying to stay alive

>> No.21157895


>> No.21157899

we hopefully still are. don't lose faith yet

>> No.21157901

That was Prinzessin, wasn't it?

>> No.21157906

But the Belgians folded like wet paper in WWII and completely fucked the plans of the French and British by not letting them into Belgium until after the Germans had invaded. The AEF, meanwhile, ran TOWARD the fighting, albeit because everybody else had had two or three years of war by that point to teach them why that was stupid.

>> No.21157907

Planefag doesn't know/care

>> No.21157909



Why stop being responsible now? Sure we could run and live, but we will still have to deal with the comeupance later.

>> No.21157928

The Japanese: No sense of right and wrong (proportions).

>> No.21157932



What's she gonna do, bury us in minitanks?

>> No.21157937


>> No.21157938

With a cacophony of adorable little rattleclanks, ten baby tanks surge towards you as a unified front of shin-annihilating bruiserising. Paddy has a stick, but you have nothing but two good feet. It's time to retreat.

You've taken one step backwards when the horrible, cold truth hits you - you're about to flee an armored blitzkrieg directed by a German. In front of a Brit. If you do this, you will never be able to mock the British's pissweak performance at Dunkirk again.

It is hopeless, and your fate is sealed. But for the good of your fellow soldiers, for the good of AMERICA! you will defend that incredibly valuable pissing-match point or die trying!

As the armored horde advances, you counter-attack, taking huge, bold strides, stomping like a towering colossus towards the puny weapons of the manlings. With a ferocious roar, you leap airborne and come down with both feet on the first of the horrid devices, bellowing with triumph as you connect.

The chibitank, moving at a decent clip by then, simply speeds out from under your feet, flipping you over and landing you on your back.

And then the rest close in.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" you scream in horror as ten clanking mechanical monstrosities begin nudging you from all sides with all their miniscule might.

>> No.21157946

>Minna dresses like this for the party

Make it happen

>> No.21157947

Actually, I just figured it would be easier dealing with her before she remembered where she put her gun.

>> No.21157952

Each of which can carry enough explosives to take out a bunker.

>> No.21157964





>> No.21157967

My sides literally

>> No.21157968


>> No.21157975

And we know that from what? Keep it period, anon.

>> No.21157976

I want this drawfagged.

>> No.21157985

I think we all do.

>> No.21157991

ride minitanks to party

>> No.21157995

Laugh and giggle like we're getting a kick out of it. After all, we've seen worse practically every day at Barin thusfar.

>> No.21158000

Oh, Dan. I'll always miss you.

>> No.21158007


They first appeared in 1942. They aren't some top-secret wunderwaffe; it's easy to believe that reports of the little mini-tanks have popped up in "Hey, get a load of this" pieces in Stars and Stripes.

>> No.21158017

Appearance of Heidi, Characterisation of Prinzessin.

Fuck, I dunno.

>> No.21158019


>offer alcohol as peace offering'

>> No.21158041


>> No.21158044

Play this with as much (comedic) drama as possible, complete with dying speeches and everything. If we make her laugh she might just forget to castrate us with couple hundred Kg of mini-tanks.

>> No.21158050

Best damn character in the show.

>> No.21158059

After a while, the insistent nudges stop, and Heidi herself towers over you.

"Well? What do you have to say for yourself?"

"... I liked the stripes better," you say honestly.

Heidimarie squeals with impressive volume, shoving her shirttails between her legs belatedly. The chibitanks advance once more, and this time they keep going, crawling over you. Even one is about the size of your torso, and none too light, and soon you realize Heidi is trying to bury you under a stack of them. You're just summoning the last of your strength for a final, desperate gambit, when a thump and a moan drift over from the doorway.


"What - what's wrong!?" Heidi says, the tanks suddenly halting their assault as her attention is diverted.

You manage to shove one tank off you and sit up, looking around. Lying sprawled over the threshhold is Paddy, a grimace of pain on his face... and a dark red splotch seeping through his faded uniform pants.

>.... clever girl

>> No.21158064

>you scream in horror as ten clanking mechanical monstrosities begin nudging you from all sides with all their miniscule might.


>> No.21158082


>> No.21158085

>>.... clever girl

>> No.21158086


>...clever girl

>> No.21158088


>> No.21158090

>Squaddie Young has panicked!

But seriously call the medic. Even if he's faking, it's more distraction to save our hide.

>> No.21158091


We should probably get medic to sew him up again. Or a medi-witch!

>> No.21158092



>> No.21158094

We fucked up the Heimlich, we don't got this. Let's hope it's Miyafuji that hears.

>> No.21158095

ok ill bite.


>> No.21158096


Why do you think he was walking with a cane, man?

>> No.21158097

>"... I liked the stripes better," you say honestly.
You know, I was reading Maid Quest last week for lack of anything better to do. It impressed me how much the Main Character managed to be simultaneously a good person and a complete and utter dick, simply by the author knowing when to serious the fuck up. It really helped the tone of the whole piece.

Planefag, you remind me very much of the guy who ran Maid Quest. If you haven't read it, I'd suggest it.


> I GOT THIS (with a side of ...clever girl)

>> No.21158105



Remember what happened last time we tried to help someone

>> No.21158108


>> No.21158109


>> No.21158110


>> No.21158112


Ah, that's not good, he could bleed out.


while giving first aid.

>> No.21158113

>.... clever girl

>> No.21158124

meant to link there

>> No.21158125

To be honest, he didn't have much competition.
Aside from Wheels. Wheels was awesome.
>.... clever girl

>> No.21158126


I was with Maid Quest from the very first thread. Goshujin-sama is my waifu forever and ever.

>> No.21158127

Because Luke broke his leg?

>> No.21158131

>Does Planefag know about MAIDquest.

>> No.21158133


He may have so knowledge of it.

>> No.21158135

Who Heidi? What if she's already taken?

>> No.21158139

>he didn't have much competition
Even so.

>> No.21158143

Hey, I never said I finished it.

Though, good to know. I'll read that in full when I get there.

>> No.21158150

guilty crown. an anime...most of it ain't worth watching, but one character, Dan Eagleman, was an American liason officer with the JSDF. Best character in the show he pushed vertically-launched rockets on their sides to shoot at a ship, and punched a dude because he threatened a girl with a gun. manly
>...clever girl

>> No.21158154



>> No.21158166

>Dan Eagleman
>Miko Katana-tan

I love it

>> No.21158177

People love their robots.

>> No.21158178


>> No.21158187

That's irrelevant. We'll impress her with our MANLINESS and she won't have any choice but to come to the party.

>> No.21158207

We must know SOME basic first aid.

>> No.21158210

The archive is up. Please go vote for it in case Gap An Elf goes for a second thread tonight.

>> No.21158220

dan eagle... are we talking about the boxer in hajime no ippo?

>> No.21158233

The only things Young can do right are: be a big brother, troll, romance redheaded german witches with dead boyfriends, and screwing up epically.

>> No.21158239

MC's reaction to Ian swallowing a cigarette was punching him in the stomach and shouting "I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING!" His first aid skills are clearly prodigious.

>> No.21158241

"Oh, shit," you say, fear striking you. Paddy's a great guy, and from the position of the wound he could easily have a major artery leaking out. If Paddy bleeds out from pulling his stitches in some cellar, you'll regret it for the rest of your life, right up until the moment Sterling&Sterling baste your nuts in honey and bury you upside-down in an anthill. "Paddy, you need a medic!"

"I... ahh," he grunts, sitting up. Beads of sweat break out on his brow, muscles in his jaw tensing violently as he bites back a yelp of pain. It's the kind of stamina you'd expect from the SAS Commando.

"That last drop... took a round right in the meat," he grunts through the pain. Heidi adroitly leaps over the little vehicles to kneel at his side, studying his wound closely.

"I can't see," she says. "I need..." she pats her pockets and pouts in frustration. "Shoot! You have a knife?"

Paddy, supporting himself on his bad-leg side with one arm, makes a cursory pat-down of his pockets with the other. "Sorry."

"... there MUST be," Heidi says, her face coloring ever so slightly, shuffling closer to Paddy to pat down his pockets personally. As she does so, his supporting hand shifts, letting weight shift to his wounded leg again, and there's a swift blur of motion. A metallic 'ting!' sounds against one of the mini-tanks, and you look down to see a long, thin knife resting against the side.

>Make that fucker dissapear

>> No.21158243

sorry what?

>> No.21158244

last time we tried that, we punched Ian in the gut
and fly planes

>> No.21158247

>piloting not on the list

>> No.21158253

Get cloth/bandage
Use to apply pressure directly to wound
Use minitank as self-propelled ambulance cart

>> No.21158272

>>Make that fucker dissapear

>> No.21158274

Ahahahahahahahahahah!! Paddy, you dog.
>Make that fucker dissapear

>> No.21158275

...Make that fucker disappear.

Let Paddy get felt up by a pretty witch while we go make a party.

>> No.21158283

>Make that fucker dissapear
He helps us, we help him.

>> No.21158289

FUCK! we have paddy's knife

>> No.21158292

>Make that fucker dissapear

Go back to forming party.

Mouth "YOU OWE ME BIG, MOTHERFUCKER" as we do so.

>> No.21158297


>> No.21158298

make that knife disappear, then go party. pour one out for your fallen comrades

>> No.21158299

>Make that fucker disappear
Well played, Paddy. Well played.

>> No.21158302

>Smooth criminal

>> No.21158306

>Make that fucker dissapear

>> No.21158311


>Make that fucker dissapear

Must have party and Paddy could use some sympathetic Witch sex.

>> No.21158312

>Make that fucker dissapear
And leave some booze for him. He deserves it.

>> No.21158314

>Make that fucker disappear

>> No.21158316

>Make that fucker dissapear
Let's help him dig his grave.
And then we can help Heidi fill it!

>> No.21158323

Knife? What knife?

>> No.21158324

but that would involve not taking Heidi to the part.

And that's terrible.

>> No.21158337

So Paddy's coming the the party, right?

>> No.21158341


I think Paddy and her could have their own little party...

>> No.21158348


>> No.21158349

Heidi must suck the venom out! Give her the knife!

>> No.21158361


>> No.21158362

>Make that fucker dissapear
DO we still have Dave Stirling's knife? Either way, artifact get.

>> No.21158378

...I don't know about you, but I'm pretty damn sure that a shy-as-fuck witch isn't going to be THAT much of a loose woman.

I think you have her confused with Cupcakeski.

>> No.21158383

If there was any intercourse it could only be called rape.

>> No.21158396

But, but TITS!

>> No.21158409


Did I mention intercourse?

Oh wait guess I did.

Anyway, Paddy' not in shape for sex now. Should have said get him sympathetic witch healing/possible girlfriend

>> No.21158426

it's /tg/, if it has tits, they'll try to fuck it. It's a miracle that Minna hasn't been cheated on yet with these fucktards making votes/comments.

>> No.21158437

please leave and never come back

>> No.21158443

Umm, about that...

>> No.21158447

...um...anon, I think you should sit down for this...

>> No.21158448

>It's a miracle that Minna hasn't been cheated on yet

>> No.21158450

Shamefru dispray?

>> No.21158458

Why? If you look at it I've credited planefag in every chapter. Or at least I should have.

>> No.21158459

luckily it seems that PF's hiatus has rid us of some of the derpy posters

>> No.21158461


>> No.21158464

Hedi glances up at the metallic 'ting!' just as you fling yourself bodily upon the damn thing, hiding it under your body.

".... tripped," you say. Heidi gives you a poisoned glare, before turning her attention back to Paddy. "We... we have to get this off..."

"Ah," Paddy says, nodding and gritting his teeth in grim anticipation. Or just anticipation. Lifting his rear off the floor with his hands, he nods at Heidi.


Paddy's arms start to tremble, and the blood dripping from his leg makes a slight, but audible pit-pit-pit on the cold stone floor. That decides her. Heidi visibly swallows and undoes Paddy's belt-buckle, before sliding his pants off.

When you see Paddy's wound, you suck in your breath. His entire thigh is wrapped in a huge bandage, and it looks like a small hole in his leg has been completely stuffed with gauze. The bandage is completely soaked through; it was close to needing a replacement before Paddy fell on it and pressed the blood through the top layer, you guess. Feigned fall or no, it's no love-tap.

"Mein Gott," Heidi says, her voice and hands a-tremble. "That's bad. You need it changed."

Paddy shrugs noncommittally. "Makes more sense then bleeding here on the floor..."

Heidi gets her arm under Paddy's, and helps him stagger up on his good leg. Leaning heavily on the gorgeous Witch, they stagger towards the door. Just before they disappear around the jamb, Paddy glances at you, behind Heidi's head, and sends you the biggest shit-eating grin his face can possibly muster.

>> No.21158466

Go write Tank-Witches

>> No.21158468



>> No.21158472

> It's a miracle that Minna hasn't been cheated on yet

>> No.21158475


>> No.21158484

now for BOOZ

>> No.21158485

>biggest shit-eating grin his face can muster
I'm gonna count that as a win.

>> No.21158486


You sir.

Paddy, sir, you mah nigga.

>> No.21158491

that bastard

>> No.21158492

Paddy you sly dog

>> No.21158497

Paddy is alpha as fuck, god damn.

>> No.21158498

You can't let Heidi stay with that lecher

Party invites must be given.

>> No.21158499

well played Paddy.

>> No.21158500


paddy, you beautiful bastard.

>> No.21158506

Well... We're keeping his knife

>> No.21158513

Now can we get boozed?

>> No.21158517

Have you even read it? I freely admit I took the background and probably some elements. But it's not going to copy this. I've got like three chapters anyway.

Planefag if you're paying attention, I stole lots of your history and your idea. Sorry if that offends

>> No.21158522

>implying he WON'T get her into a room with peer pressure AND alcohol existing in combination

>> No.21158523



>> No.21158526

The assassins are already on their way...

...I'm sorry

>> No.21158529

That naked two, right?

>> No.21158535


>> No.21158537

A SWQ/IS crossover fic? SERIOUSLY?

Please commit sudoku.

>> No.21158540

...So, do we still have Rommel's lighter?

Because we're about one more find away from starting a collection.

>> No.21158541


Back to party-planning. Let's round up the little sister brigade.

>> No.21158552

>little sisters
this is a good idea amirite?

>> No.21158556

They're old enough to fight and die, they're old enough to drink.

>> No.21158561

Imagine the bouncing that will ensue

>> No.21158564

euphemisms ho!

>> No.21158569

Lucchini is twelve.

>> No.21158570

Of course it's a good idea. We can hand out pants and give them drunken life advice.

>> No.21158574

Is ok, not you're fault.
I might Sudoku is pretty fun.

>> No.21158577

And yet she still puts her life on the line. Don't tell her she can drink, don't offer it to her, but you leave it where she can get it, besides a little booze never hurt anyone.

>> No.21158581


No one can blame us if we just spike the punch.

>> No.21158583

just know you died doing what you loved

>> No.21158587

Fight. And. Die.

Also we gave Chris a beer, and she's nine.
MC is long past giving a fuck about the legal drinking age.

>> No.21158597

On the other hand, giving then booze will require us to babysit them for the rest of the night to keep them from doing anything stupid.

>> No.21158598


>> No.21158600

A beer isn't too bad on the booze scale, not like gin, rum, etc.

>> No.21158607

jungle juice for all!

>> No.21158609

So we stick an icebucket full of beer bottles in the middle of the table, problem solvered.

>> No.21158611


>> No.21158614

pls go

>> No.21158631

I'd think that some of the more mischievous ones would manage to find the harder stuff...Robin and Zucchini slugging moonshine like it's going outta style

>> No.21158633

They've earned their fun. We can watch out for them.

>> No.21158637


>> No.21158643

Can you assholes stop bitching at each other? We've got a party to plan.

>> No.21158651


All writers steal. ALL writers steal. I do it every two minutes. It's all in the execution, not the idea; ideas are a dime a dozen.

The only thing I - well, um. You don't need to "credit" me at all. Really, it's fine. You don't have to have my handle anywhere on that page or that story. Anywhere. At all. Totally cool with that.

>> No.21158664

ok dude shut the fuck up! you are pissing me off!

>> No.21158671

Please just stop replying to them.

>> No.21158678

Well this thread took a turn for the worse.

>> No.21158679


It's already there. You want me to remove it?

I'll do that if you want.

>> No.21158680

this, please. I am enjoying the calmer tone of these threads

>> No.21158684


>> No.21158692

>You don't need to "credit" me at all. Really, it's fine. You don't have to have my handle anywhere on that page or that story. Anywhere. At all. Totally cool with that.

Pretty sure that's politenese for "I don't want to be associated with your story at all, thanks."

>> No.21158705

This is the 1940s, the legal drinking age is "second trimester".

>> No.21158709

Time for waifu wars. We should totally go after Luchinni, plenty of time to raise her into a "proper" wife.

>> No.21158722

You. Are disgusting.

>> No.21158724

Get booze to LOCATION
Find witches and flightcrew

Get booze to LOCATION

>> No.21158737

>Pet Lynne's kitty

>> No.21158738

way to put words in a guy's mouth when he's perfectly capable of saying them himself, if he wanted to.

>> No.21158739

We'll get the martians drunk then.

>> No.21158743

Go for it.

>> No.21158745


you have good taste but It's pretty clear the course of action that is being taken

>> No.21158751


GOD, no.

Maybe, MAYBE we can push her towards Chuck, since she already gropes his sister constantly. But that's still more along the lines of "I do not want the 12-year old having a crush on me, and you're the nearest target I can divert her to" than anything like romance.

>> No.21158752

Chris is gives you even more time. Plus you get Trude wanting to join in.

>> No.21158761

oh god, you don't have the autisms do you?

>> No.21158764

>Chuck x Shirley x Lucchini

>> No.21158766

Are we posting aged zucchini, now?

>> No.21158768

I'll be waiting in tofusaur.

>> No.21158772

....this topic has gone full retard.

>> No.21158777

We are pilot, we are not waiting better part of decade to get laid.

>> No.21158785

I could not give less of a fuck when it's true.

>> No.21158791

Guys, we already have a perfectly good Minna.

Anything that happens with the little sister brigade is for purposes of hooking them up with friends.

>> No.21158798

>implying we don't exist in that state perpetually

>> No.21158810


You've lost me

>> No.21158812

No, it's incorporated into the training regimen as an invaluable skill for a proper wife.

>> No.21158814

NEW THREAD >>21158787

>> No.21158815

the usual state is partial if not situational retard, hardly full on "makes /b/ look smart" retard.

>> No.21158818


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