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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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21097265 No.21097265 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

You are Sir Daniel, an old hero long dead, or were, until Erik the Lich resurrected you to be his helper.

Fortunately, Erik is the laziest man you've ever known, and only wants to read erotica. But you're a good servant, and want to help your master by clearing the ladder to the top.

Last time you came home from the north, along the way you spent the night with a group of beer pilgrims, traveling to the birthplace of booze.

Then you came back, and helped Meryl give birth.

The emotional scars will never fade.

You, your friends and family then went into the town for the harvest festival to celebrate a good year.

By some strange cosmic favour, the frenemies, Mark, Clarice, and Adrian showed up and joined you for the night.

Your attempted wooing of Clarice further distanced you to her, and the little thing with Adrian was also unsuccessful.

Even your amazing dance skills failed to do it.

Eventually Erik grew tired of your showmanship and commanded you to stop it.

You are sitting in Morts club, the day after the festival, as he cleans up. Everyone but you, Erik and him are passed out from the drinks and food.

Mort is cleaning the bar, Erik has started on another little pocket novel his robes seem to be full of.

What do you do?

>> No.21097285


Previous thread.

>> No.21097296

I see you trying to sneak past Page 1 you slippery bastard.

Is Adrian unconscious? Can we peek and find out?
Also give Mort a hand cleaning up.
Apologize to Eric for whatever we did to upset him last night.

>> No.21097322

this, but lets also ask erik about the next targets, and see if he knows anything

>> No.21097372

Everyone but you, Erik, and Mort are passed out cold.

You go to Adrian to check on it's sex.

Before you can open the trousers Adrian's hand slaps you away, a reflex from sleeping in bad areas to stop thieves.

You offer to give Mort a hand in the clean up, but he declines, telling you his employees will be here soon and he wants to see the look on their faces when he tells them to do it.

>"It's not that you upset me, Daniel, it's that you were being a bit of a fool. I know you're better than that, and while it does amuse me in moderation, molesting a young lady and an elf aren't something Rebecca should be seeing."

>"Still intending to kill off my magical superiors, eh? I've got to admire your dedication. Well, remember what that Mick fellow said last night? About this "Red Death"? Well, I know that Inquisitor. I didn't know he was here, either. He's a cruciamenmancer. Pain magic. No doubt that's what got him the Inquisitor role. One touch from him, and you're in immense agony begging for death. But he wont give it until you give him information. A foul mockery of a man, indeed. As for the rest, their names slip my mind. It's too early in the day for heavy thinking, but I'll find out."

What do you do?

>> No.21097412

See if Mort has any info on the Red Death character, he use to run with a bad crowd, maybe he heard something.

>> No.21097446

Apologize to Rebecca too then. It'll suck and she'll be a shit about it, but it seems like the right thing to do.

Time to start moving everyone back to the manor to let Mort clean up. Take Mick to interrogate about Red Death if he hasn't already told us everything.

Didn't we make a note of the abroad folks left to kill?

>> No.21097486

You ask Mort about the Inquisitor.

>"Oh yes, I knew him. Word spread about me and my necromancy, and I was taken from my crypt by a team of paladin. Next thing I know I'm in some stone cell 40 meters below the surface, in a room lined with rather nasty tool, and the only company I've got is him."

Mort pours himself a drink.

>"He keeps asking me questions, like where I learnt my art, how many I'd revived, and if I had and apprentices, all while using that touch of his. I couldn't tell him even if I'd wanted to, I was screaming too much."

He knocks back another shot.

>"One day he doesn't come in, there's some young lad, a trainee torturer, he actually asked me if he was doing the thumb screws right, I bit his throat out, used the body as a slave, and fought my way out, all while stark naked and my wrists bound. Got the fuck out of there, and moved my base of operations several hundred miles."

Rebecca is also passed out. Little tyke can't handle her tequila.

Mort tells you to leave them, he'll give them a fry up breakfast before they leave.

The paladin's name is actually Mark, Erik is just forgetful/uncaring.

Mark is snoozing with the others, face down on the table in a room temperature puddle of ale.

You didn't look up magicals that weren't on the continent.

What did you do?

>> No.21097567

Can't do much until Erik gets his shit together. Ask him politely to hurry, bones get itchy with nothing to kill.

Leave the bar and take a look around town at any damage from the festivities. Ask around town for any odd-jobs.

>> No.21097603

>"I'll get right to it as soon as these wake up."

You leave and go upstairs, the town looks like a battle field fought with alcohol and food.

There's one guy handing off a roof by his trousers, passed out drunk. The floor is also littered with knocked out festival goers.

The only jobs going at the moment are cleaning, repair, or hangover cures.

What do you do?

>> No.21097620

I like this idea, but if nothings going on we should just head back to the house and research ourselves

>> No.21097622

(sorry if I'm a bit shit at this, I normally just read the threads on the archives in the morning)

Were there any other things to do around town from previous quest hunting?

>> No.21097639

(Everyone starts from somewhere)

You did pretty much all the big jobs, stuff that piques your attention isn't that common in this town, but when stuff comes along, it gets freaky.

What do you do?

>> No.21097657


>> No.21097672

Well if Mort escaped, that means he knew where he was operating out of, albeit less than recently, I say we start there, hunt down this Inquisitor. It took a god to make us feel pain last time, I don't think he's going to be able to do too much with this touch of his..

>> No.21097708

Since he's using magic for it, however, it's possable that we'll feel it just as bad as Mort did. Maybe worse, since we've not felt pain ourselves for so long.

Ask Erik if we're susceptible to magic pain fingers.

>> No.21097731

You return to the manor house and gather your things, plus a few books on magical families and notable magic users for the journey.

Your charred armour is filled with the hornets, your sword is buckled on and your shield on your back.

You jingle slightly as you walk the old familiar rode down to the town and to the cross roads.

>"My brother, wait a moment, allow us to accompany you!"

You turn around and you see Mark jogging towards you, a smile on his face at the chance of working with you. Clarice and Adrian aren't so enthusiastic.

>"We wish to join you on this dangerous mission."
>"Yeah, sure..."
Adrian mutters.

What do you do?

>> No.21097763

Lock fists with Mark, Politely greet Clarice and ask how they're all feeling. Did they have a good time?
Ask if they know where you are headed and if not, ask where they are headed.

>> No.21097841

You lock wrists with Mark, an age old greeting between knights.

You give a curt nod and greeting to Clarice.

You don't acknowledge Adrian in any shape or form.

"Do you even know where I'm going?"

>"Of course, to adventure, excitement, danger and glory!"

"No, really."

>"Well, no."

"I'm going to murderise this Red Death fellow."

>"Well I'm gone."
Adrian states before turning to leave.
>"Adrian, return your person to this group. We're going after a monster in human skin, it's for the good of the people."

>"A monster of YOUR holy order! They'll kick you out or execute you."

>"A price well paid to deal with the Inquisitor."

Adrian finally agrees to join the group to deal with the Inquisitor after a good scolding from Mark.

Clarice knows that she's going to end up with you anyway, after the club event.

What do you do?

>> No.21097867

Well now, the Inquisitor is of Mark's order? That makes things easier, especially since he seems okay with getting the boot to end this guy. We show up, Mark vouches for us as his adventuring party to get in, find an excuse to get near Red and send him to the deeps.

>> No.21097907

You tell this plan to Mark, that he should bring you in for questioning and eventually interrogation with the Red Death, then you'll bust out and kill the bastard. If the plan works Mark'll get away with it, might even get a commendation for bringing in a dangerous monster.

He agrees and compliments your ingenuity, telling you he'd of just rushed the place and fought anyone.

What do you do?

>> No.21097925

Give Mark a nod, and tell Adrian to stop being such a faggot.
Ask the group if they know anything that might help us.

>> No.21097943

Well we have a heading and a plan, I say have ourselves bound and brought in.. Balls, maybe leave Adrian on a side-quest, don't want him rumbling the group to the paladins.

>> No.21097967

>"Well, I'm sure he's just an inquisitor that's got some wretched power. Get in close and stab him in the face, that should do it."
Mark's plans are simple, but effective.

>"Whilst I know you don't feel normal pain, I'm not exactly sure how you'll fare against this type of magic."
Clarice departs an observation.

>"I hope he kills you. I really, really do."
Adrian grumbles.

You tell them you'll travel normally for now, until you reach the Order's main temple, then you'll get bound and tied up, and brought in.

Mark and Clarice like the plan.

What do you do?

>> No.21098008


Tell Adrian to watch its tongue or we'll bite it out of its mouth.

>> No.21098031

You put on your monster voice, gravely and deep.

"It's been a while since I've eat flesh, especially elf flesh. Watch that tongue or I'll bite it out."

Adrian goes white like a sheet.

Mark laughs and puts his hand on Adrian's shoulder.

>"Don't worry, Daniel has no tastebuds! He's just joking with you."

This doesn't help Adrian, still pale like flour.

What do you do?

>> No.21098091

Clarice likes it like that, huh? Hot, Ser Daniel is good for it.

>> No.21098130

"Seriously, no taste buds, no flesh, no boozing, no sleep. You ever get asked if you want to come back as a skeleton just say no, it's annoying as hell.

About the only pleasures I got left are killing people who need to die and making sure the people I care about are doing alright. The rush of battle never gets old.

Mark, could you tell me more about the Red Death? Do you know anything about him in a fight, aside from his magic? What type of armor does he wear? Does he have any magic items?"

>> No.21098139

I suppose since we're traveling with a crew already we won't be needing a cover for the road, so let's get to it.

>> No.21098193

>"Come near me with ropes and I'll dump you into the ocean."

"Where my God resides? Where I'm most powerful? Where I can summon a Kraken through the power of dance?"


"I'm unstoppable, lovey. But don't worry, only ask and you can tie me up."

Clarice's face turns red. You've pushed a button there.

The journey to the head church of Iustitiam is boring, to say the least. No bandits or highway men prey upon it, as all the travelers are either mighty paladins, or dirt poor pilgrims.

>"I-I'll keep that in mind."
Adrian says.

>"Oh well, he's one of those 'Devout' types, no armour but his faith, he wears grey robes, usually splattered with bodily fluids. In a fight, he's got a club that he uses to break bones. As long as he gets in close he always wins. No magic items, that I know of."

Mark didn't really associate with the Red Death, or Dolorum, as it says on his birth papers.

What do you do?

>> No.21098236

Well, stop a few miles away from the church to be bound, don't want to cut it too close for chance of being seen walking freely, then;
Tell Adrian to scamper off into the forest and keep lookout for us, it's VERY important that he remain unseen, in case we need rescue.. Wink.

Then head on in.

>> No.21098239

"Does the 'no armour but his faith' thing usually work out for paladins of your order?

Slight adjustment to the plan, if he's just hanging out on some convenient parapet I could just gib him with my siege bow.

Aside from that proceed with the plan as normal."

>> No.21098270

Let's get it over with. Killing John will be hard to top for a bit. This might not even give us a boner.

>ofdhImk inches
I'm glad you agree.

>> No.21098290

10 miles south of the order you let them bind you and disarm you. They herd you along, each one holding a rope.

Mark keeps a stoic expression, Clarice is red again, and Adrian loves every minute. You don't tell him that if you so desired, you could snap the ropes like fishing line and destroy them.

>"No, not normally. They try it in battle, and, well, it would seem that pretty much anything is better than their armour. And they don't let him out of the dungeons. People like me, a shining example of righteousness that aids the people, we're on the road showing off how good we are. But Dolorum, well, they don't want the people to know about their dog."

You can see the building rising up out of the ground in the distance. You wonder how much it cost to build, and how much good could of been done instead of building solid gold parapets.

What do you do?

>> No.21098327

Roll our eyes. Look as much like a prisoner as we can. Follow Mark's lead, he knows how to look like he's delivering a prisoner.

>> No.21098336

Hope our reputation doesn't proceed us. Or our fists might have to proceed into people's faces.

>> No.21098406

You have no eyes. But you do look down at the ground on the way. Mark leads you into the building. The inside is like the waiting room for a hospitable, clean, white, and smells like death and chemical cleaner.

>"I have brought in a magically raised prisoner for interrogation on the whereabouts of its master."
Mark tells the desk clerk.
>"Go to room 4a and take a seat, someone will be with you shortly."

This is odd.

You go through several double doors, and take a seat.

The undersized leather chairs prevent you from getting comfortable.

All around are other paladin teams with prisoners. Some human, others not.

One hooded prisoner looks at you and nods, you see his scaled skin and know your comrade in service to Hydra.

These people know your deeds, not name or description. And stories have exaggerated them wildly.

What do you do?

>> No.21098421

Make to look as mindless as possable. The less people think of us, the better. With a little luck, everyone will assume we're just an undead test subject for the inquisitors.

>> No.21098432

Try to look dumb and so on. Keep our expression blank, don't show off the fact that it contorts to make actual expressions.

>> No.21098439

Rolled 14

Rollan for guidance from Hydra, see if Hydra can provide any intel on the other prisoner

>> No.21098447
File: 32 KB, 399x299, 1251520637910.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.21098450

low is a good thing

>> No.21098461

Thought he always said, "Above 70 for guidance"..

>> No.21098470

Rolled 4

Hydra gives no fucks, it seems.
Rollan to negate.

>> No.21098472

You allow your mind to wander, and soon you're called up.

>"Will prisoner number 34a stand and come with me?"
A man in a grey overcoat asks to room.

Mark stands and yanks the ropes.
>"Geddup monster."
You comply and follow him down the hall.

There's rooms to every side, each one occupied by interrogation teams. You can hear screaming softly through the walls.

People who think their horrid actions are approved by higher powers are the most terrible kind of person.

Your prayer seems to have crossed the Retard God's line instead, again.
No luck there, might be the high level of piety for another God, blocking your prayers.

No it is not. Well, unless I specify.

You are stopped at a T-junction, one set of stairs leading up into the higher rooms, the other down into the dark.

No points for guessing where you're going.

Down below, where water drips freely and mildew grows on the floor, you're brought to a little wooden door, the pain faded off.

You're lead inside, and placed in a chair. Then locked down with dead bolts.

What do you do?

>> No.21098474

Rolled 13

Nice job, anon.

>> No.21098480

The howling of the retard god grow ever louder in your mind.

>> No.21098483

Flex a little. See if we can break these cuffs if you need to.
>We can't break these cuffs.

>> No.21098487

Test how strong the bolts and restraints are.

Now that we are underground around water and so on we have a better connection to Hydra so when the time comes we can call him.

>> No.21098489

Rolled 74

Fuck guys, get it together

>> No.21098491


>> No.21098492

Rolled 35

Closer to water is a good thing, but Hydra seems banned from this place, for now... I suppose see if we can't weaken a chain or bolt, rollan for STR

>> No.21098500


>> No.21098514

Roll 1d30.

>"It seems you've found the right number. Don't look like a mighty hero, or they'll come in droves to test their mettle against you. But don't look like a mindless undead, either, or they'll just destroy you."

>> No.21098519

Rolled 29


>> No.21098520

What do you do?

>> No.21098525

Rolled 21

We're not breaking them now, of course. That would be dumb.

>> No.21098530

Rolled 2

Strain against the chains until someone comes, proceed with questioning

>> No.21098532

Wait for the inquisitor to arrive.

>> No.21098540

"Gotcha boss. Look like a lackey, a grunt, undead muscle that knows a bit but not much.

Then explode him."

>> No.21098544

Rolled 30

You. Stop rolling.

>> No.21098552

Rolled 4349

Also, roll to seduce Clarice.
...For later.

>> No.21098558

Exactly this

>> No.21098567

You slowly lift your wrists, pulling the screws out, but then put them back. If you need to, you only have to stand to break through these now broken restraints.

The door opens.

You see him, or his body, as his face is obscured.

Dolorum stands before you, all 5 feet 3 of him.

You expected a bit more from a guy named The Red Death. Oh well.

>"Do you know how this is going to go?"
You nod.
>"Good, I'm going to ask some questions. You're going to answer them, if I don't like the answers, well, you die screaming. Fun for the whole family."
You nod, a bit more frantically this time. Your acting is pretty good.

">Excellent. Now, who revived you from death?"
What do you say?

>> No.21098569

There we go.

>> No.21098570

Rolled 8

I'm sorry. Really. I'm Adrian.

>> No.21098577

"The master did."

>> No.21098578

Rolled 5933

Tell him an elf witch named Adrian raised us from the dead.

>> No.21098586

"He neva told me his name. Just said to call him Masta or Lord."

>> No.21098591

Rolled 8

The dice gods do not approve.


>> No.21098594

Rolled 22

Rollin d100 for bluff, "We never saw his face, just a man in a robe, but we can tell you where he is!"

>> No.21098609

No, that's showing a little to much personality.
We need to think like a machine, here. A machine that holds valuble data, but a machine none the less.

>> No.21098615

"The master did."
>"Well, of course. But what was his name?"
"Neva told me, sur, just told to call 'im Masta, or m'lord."
>"Hmm... Seems reasonable for some egotistical necromancer, thinking they can control life and death."

Dolorum ponders another question.

>"Well, since you're being cooperative, can you tell me where he is?"

What do you do?

>> No.21098620

Rolled 55


>> No.21098628

Rolled 7508

"Kerm, sah. Last I saws, he was in charge ah Kerm."

>> No.21098631

He's right here of course.

>> No.21098632

Do we know the location of any abroad superpowers yet? We could give that away.

>> No.21098645

Rolled 2

Say he was from Kern. There were a lot of undead there, right? With any luck, they'll think we're just the minion of some runaway lieutenant.

>> No.21098646

That's a great idea, shitloads of undead at Kern

>> No.21098652

Shit, forgot to take off the dice. Ignore that.

>> No.21098663

nah, we gotta get em in close, to grip him.

"Masta said we werenta reveal his base, masta won't let us"

>> No.21098665

"He sed he wuz gonna go out to sum lands, spread his 'reign o terror'. I tink I herd him say Kerm."

>> No.21098666

"Kerm, sur."
>"No, I've read the reports, you were taken in the west, near Gallowmere. If you do not tell me, I'll raze the towns around it before personally interrogating everyone there. That should drive your master out."

What do you do?

>> No.21098670

Also, why are we Ork spek?

>> No.21098679

Bit of the ol' casual racism.

>> No.21098688

All in favor of breaking the cuffs and crushing him?

>> No.21098693

Say that our master was driven out when the city fell, and fled to the mountains to recover.

>> No.21098694

It makes us sound dumber.

"Da Masta sed if I ever dun told sumone he'd break ma bones and burn ma soul. I dun wanna burn."

>> No.21098700

We can do that anytime. Lets see if we can get some information out of him first.

>> No.21098701

Rolled 6299

How close is he to us?
If he's close, decompress him to hell.
If not, tell him You were one of Mort's skeletons that wandered off.

>> No.21098716

Stand up, grab him by the throat and blow him apart. This has gone on long enough.

>> No.21098727

Rolled 19

>What do you do?
she and not sure I can tell you what the casle was like the sounding woods but and the road out but this was our first mission out

>> No.21098739

Help help we cannot into english

>> No.21098742

>"Well, that is more likely, lots of caves around there. I'll need to send teams to clear them out."

>"Oh, down here? Burning is the least of your concern..."

He's sitting in his chair across the room.
"Holdsa minute, I rememba a name, Mort, I 'eard 'im says."

>"Oh now that is interesting... Mort was the only one who ever got away, scum killed my underling while I was at a trial. Seems ironic that his thrall is telling me about him. I love a bit of cosmic poetry like this. Anything else, before the real work begins?"

How many sentences did you try to fit into one there?

What do you do?

>> No.21098746

I say we blame our raising on Adrian

>> No.21098752

goad him into touching us and decompress him

>> No.21098754

Ask why.
Just why, like a confused child that doesn't know why they're being beaten.

>> No.21098758

Have you ever been so far even as decided to use go want to look more like?

That oughta confuse him a bit.

>> No.21098765

Fuck man, we can't land poor Mort in the shitter.


>> No.21098766

Because fuck that guy/girl

>> No.21098777

"Why do you do these things, sur?"

>"Well, it's because you're a monster, a non-living creature that's against the laws of nature. It is my holy duty to destroy all of you and your bretherin. Now, I'm going to get the real story out of you."

He stands up and strides across the room, then ungloves a hand and places it on your spine.

You feel a mild itch.


>"Well, this is different. Usually they're screaming by now."

You feel the itch increase from an irritation to a slight stinging.

He lets out an embarrassed chuckle.

What do you do?

>> No.21098788

Decompress him, we're touching him

>> No.21098794

"You shur yur doin it right? Try a bit lower."

>> No.21098802

"It's ok, this happens to a lot of men your age."

>> No.21098805

You calmly lift your hand and put it on his head, you try to decompress him. It doesn't work. There's a little trickle of blood from his nose.

Seems whatever is affecting him is affecting you.

>"You were free this entire time?"


What do you do?

>> No.21098810

You sure you're doing it right? Master always did it to me hands

And then we decompress a mofo

>> No.21098817

Drown him. Or just crush his neck since we've got magical super strength

>> No.21098820

Bitchslap across the room.
Rollan for pimphand from beyond the grave

>> No.21098829

Rolled 20

Stupid dice.

>> No.21098830

"Well, there's something weird going on here. Apparently our connections to our gods or magic is borked.

You're also a dick."

Pick him up by his neck and squeeze. We don't need no fancy magic.

>> No.21098833

Think it might be because I'm a paladin?

>> No.21098847

Your drowning ability doesn't work either.

Your super strength also fails you, seems you've got the strength of a normal man in this room.

You look around for why, seems you've been put in a magically inert room.
Your pimp hand, is all all your own and don't need no fancy magic.

The backhand is followed by a meaty thwack and Dolorum is sprawled on the floor, his head facing the wrong way around.

Dolorum twitches for a little while, then stops.

What do you do?

>> No.21098853
File: 70 KB, 800x1108, 237218-sdf.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Sir Daniel
>Resurrected from the dead

>> No.21098862

Shit is now real. Break out, free the paladin of Hydra, regroup with the frenemies.

>> No.21098868


Check cautiously if he's really dead.

>> No.21098870

Loot his body.
Check if he's really dead.

>> No.21098872

Isn't it the best fucking thing ever? Author never played medievil though so he doesn't get it.

>> No.21098876

We killed him? Sweet.
Engage stealth mode, find heritical magic stash, comence looting.

>> No.21098894

Rolled 29

Confirm the kill. Loot the body.

See if we can say hi to Hydra in this dark wet place.

"Uh, bossman, something is pretty weird here. Any idea why?"

>> No.21098901

Stomp his skull
If we can't decompress him, splatter his brains the old fashioned way
Double tap and all that

>> No.21098934


This. We can't risk him coming at us later.

>> No.21098946

Rolled 9


>> No.21098950

I hate you, you know that?

>> No.21098954

I did wonder why a lot of people were amused at the names and the mentioning of the "Danhand".

You give him a tap, yup, pretty dead.

You kick the door in, and leave the room. You feel your power return now that you've left the room. It must of been a bureaucratic error, putting you in there.

You check the body, nothing. He's nude under there.

You send off a quick prayer.
Fucking inert stone.

You splatter his last thoughts on your boots.

What do you do?

>> No.21098966

Take his robes.
And hide his body.

>> No.21098970

Free the hydra worshipper, "abduct" the frenemies.

>> No.21098980

Rolled 1523


>> No.21098983

Look around. They've got to have some sweet heritical loot stashed in a vault or something around here.
But first make sure there's not any kind of alarm about to go off, or guards about to walk in and see the mess.

>> No.21099001

You strip the body, then roll him over into a corner.

You kick another door in. Your brother in religion is tied to a table, and having his scales pulled off one by one by several men while asked questions.

What do you?

>> No.21099030

Rolled 6714

Decompress and drown those sons of bitches.

>> No.21099044

Kill them. No brutality, no super violence, nada. They don't deserve the time. Just kill them quickly and free our new bro.

>> No.21099048

Rolled 9


>> No.21099053

Rolled 8

Dance the dance of death.
Hope somebody backs you up with maracas and a spicy beat.

>> No.21099056

Rolled 62


>> No.21099072

Rolled 48

Your rolls are make me sad

>> No.21099081

kill them, and free your fellow worshipper

>> No.21099087

You decompress the closest one, and stab the second. The third, the one who was doing to "Flaying" gets a good old fashioned drowning.

He scratches at your hand around his throat, prying to get free. But your grip is too strong. Eventually his eyes roll back into his head and he stops, dead.

You drop the body, paying no respect.

You free your brother from his restraints.

>"Many thanks, brother. I fear they would have gone for my eyes next."

The lizard man puts on a set of robes and covers his face once more.

>"I'll be seeing you, to repay the favour."
He leaves the room. You follow, but he's already gone.

You look around for some heretical loot.

Eventually you find it in the furnace room, the ones not destroyed on a table waiting to be categorized and incinerated.

What do you do?

>> No.21099112

Loot that loot. "Kidnap" the frenemies so they aren't implicated. The killings with Hydra powers can easily be explained away by the Hydra follower, and we killed the only person who heard us say Mort raised us.

>> No.21099116

Grab the loot, and then go find the frenemies

>> No.21099125

Rolled 7265

Well, first, take anything that looks useful or valuable. Second, go find the frenemies. Third, get the hell out of here.

>> No.21099129

Rolled 18

This. Perfect getaway.
Also, make sure our armor/cloths aren't covered in gore. That would stand out pretty bad.

>> No.21099162

>Cursed sword
>Cursed shield
>Cursed armour

Boring, nothing out of the usua-
Oh hello
>Helm of Hydra
>Notes: Taken from lizardfolk prisoner, found carrying it with a note to deliver to the Dancing Knight, another known undead. Item should be dismantled to discern properties, then destroyed.

You grab that shit.

You bust into the waiting room, ropes in hand, punch the few guards coming over to you.

>"Good Lord above, he's on another murder spree."
Mark notes.

Before the others can say anything you bind them up, Mark and Adrian propped on your shoulders and Clarice tied to your chest like a baby.

You make a harrowing sight for the guards coming in to inspect the noise.

You beat them down while running out of the building.

You jump down the front steps and onto the ground, muddy and wet, below.

What do you do?

>> No.21099175

Run. They tire, you don't. Carry your frenemies to safety. DO. NOT. DANCE.

>> No.21099181

Get some distance, keep on running until we're far away.

Maybe whistle a tune while doing so.

>> No.21099200

Rolled 17

DANCE away. They'll never catch us!

>> No.21099208


>> No.21099211


>> No.21099214

We can't let them know that it was the undead that Mark vouched for that slaughtered their inquisitor. We can't dance, we can't do anything with our normal trademarks

>> No.21099216

You can't get any real speed dancing anyway.

>> No.21099227

You decide against dancing, you're off balance and don't want to calibrate.

You run day and night, and eventually stop to allow your frenemies to rest.

I'm sorry, but I run by consensus. Seems they don't want to dance. If you'd rolled higher on the other hand... Then who knows.

What do you do?

>> No.21099232

Walk like a pimp away.

>> No.21099241

Let the frienimies down, see if Clarice can figure out what our fancy new helm does.

>> No.21099246

Brief Mark on what happened. You're going to have to get a skeleton from Mort for them to turn in to explain their "escape"

>> No.21099250

Set up camp, so the frenemies can rest.

Investigate the new helm, see how it looks on us.

>> No.21099270

Rolled 4

I am completely heartbroken. Dance a celebratory dance to let Hydra know we survived and that we saved another follower. And got his sweet helmet- thank him for that.
In dance.

>> No.21099276

Rolled 9

Well fuck you too, Hydra.

>> No.21099277

Ask Mark why they had a follower of Hydra locked up in there.

>> No.21099279

Rolled 12

You motherfucker.
Rollan for non-shit dancing.

>> No.21099283

Rolled 12

Don't be a dick to hydra.

>> No.21099295

Rolled 4

I tried. Hydra must be mad that we didn't dance away- that's the only explanation for these rolls.

>> No.21099297

Rolled 17


>> No.21099300

Thank you dice gods, you are ever wise and considerate.

>> No.21099305

Rolled 13

A little better. Dice Gods, forgive us also.

>> No.21099310

Or hydra doesn't like you for wanting to dance away and blow our cover

>> No.21099330

Rolled 13

Then why did I roll a 17 for that?

>> No.21099338

You put them down for the night, so the can rest.

You get a fire going for them to warm themselves up. It's been a while since you actually set a fire, usually you walked through the night.

You ask Clarice to examine the helmet.

You ask Mark about the follower of Hydra down in the dungeons.

>"Erm, well, I don't like to say, but the current leader leader of the church has declared a holy war on all other heathen religions. And a creature, sorry, racially challenged individual with ethnic ties to your god, that's high on their list."

You dance your thanks infront of the fires for the new helmet, and inform your god that you helped one of his loyal servants escape crazy hands.

You feel your God's gaze upon you.
>"I know you did well down there, loyal follower, and I thank you for rescuing one of my most devout monks."

Hydra's a cool dude and likes the cut of your jib.

What do you do?

>> No.21099346

'twas a test.

>> No.21099360

Thank Adrian for being useless.
"It-it-it's not like I wanted your help anyways."

>> No.21099374

find out about that new helmet

>> No.21099383

Rolled 5

Man, the more we hear about these guys, the worse it gets.
Ask Mark if he's really cool with being a member of such an intolerant and frankly nasty church.

>> No.21099420

Mark follows his god first, his church second. Now, if we could get some divine intervention up in this bitch by having hydra talk to his god and have his god speak to his followers, we might get somewhere.

>> No.21099431

>"I follow the forest sprites, you fool. I'm lucky they didn't get me."

You tell him of the time you beat a forest spite out cold. You feel the rage radiating off of him.

>"You dare presume you assault my gods?! And what do you worship? Some giant snake in the oceans? What good is he here? You're surrounded by my lords, if they so chose they could destroy you!"

"Nah, I'd win. I've got Hydra backing me."

>"Seems resistant to my scrying, you'll have to learn for yourself. It is a God relic, after all..."
Clarice ain't got shit.

>"I was, the High Lord Priest before this one was a very kind and accepting man, he had the same belief as me about other Gods and religions. That Gods were representatives of ideals, and that men need to live by a vast assortment of them in order to develop and change. If we have just one ruling over us we stagnate, and crumble. Our current leader doesn't understand this. I hope these dark days will soon pass."

He seems remorseful of the state of his church.

What do you do?

>> No.21099446

Sit down and meditate.

>> No.21099465

"You were worried about getting caught were you? Let me tell you something. You can die. I can't. And when my parts break, it hurts just as much as it did when I was alive. But I don't have that release. Didn't stop me from sticking my neck out to stop an inquisitor that would have gone after you as well though, did it? Seriously though, are you male or female?"

>> No.21099469

"If being dead has taught me one thing it's that everything crumbles into dust and is built over eventually.

Adrian, I'll note that my God has been rather damn effectual with his blessings, and deep oceans cover a lot more of the world than forests.

Thanks for trying Clarice."

Try on the helmet.

>> No.21099509

"And not to mention I've effectively absolved you of any involvement in that inquisitor's death by staging a kidnapping."

>> No.21099526

You sit down.

"If you were caught at least you had the escape of death, I, on the other hand, am eternal. I'll never fade or feel that release of death. I would of been Dolorum's plaything for the rest of his days, and then for the rest of that church's too. But I went in there and killed the bastard, so no one else would know that pain or the fear. All you do is bitch and moan, but in reality you do fuck all. So shut your androgynous mouth and tell me, do you have a penis?!"


You thank Clarice for trying. Then put on the helmet.

You feel seaweed wrap around your skull inside the full-helmet.

Roll 1d4 for effect.

>> No.21099534

Rolled 1


>> No.21099536

Rolled 1


>> No.21099543

Rolled 3


>> No.21099549

"DO YOU HAVE A PENIS!?" Do you have chesticles or testicles? Do elves even have gender?"

>> No.21099552

Rolled 4


>> No.21099563


>> No.21099573

Rolled 4

"I am GENUINELY CONFUSED regarding your gender. Clear up this confusion for me, beyond a shadow of a doubt, or I'm going to have to keep asking. Wait a second, I bet Clarice knows. Clarice, would you be so kind as to assist me?"

>> No.21099586

Rolled 1


>> No.21099593

Or I could forget to roll ...

>> No.21099597

Rolled 1


>> No.21099601

Rolled 2

Sshhh. It's okay.

>> No.21099606

Rolled 3

re roll that shit
lets see if we get a new power

>> No.21099618

Rolled 1

I think we're rolling to determine which power we get. Also, there've been a few 4s

>> No.21099621

As long as you are wearing the helm, you gain the effect of water breathing.
(I've got a little table set up in word for shit like this. You got unlucky)

The helm's power is unneeded because you don't actually breathe. But the helmet itself is pretty cool. The inside is coated with seaweed and the face plate is an effigy to your watery God, that of a Hydra's head.

What do you do?

>> No.21099634


I Give up. Just starting to use the mobile app and I can't remember how to roll, it seems ...

>> No.21099638


Ask again for the cunts gender.

>> No.21099641

Can others use the helm? This could be useful in preserving our allies. also>>21099573

>> No.21099657

Rolled 4

guard the frenemies during the night, wait til early morn, like 4m, roughly
then wake them up, and continue til the mansion, being wary all the time
we dont want to bring them to gallowmore
when we get there, we will examine it further, see if we can discover any more of secrets (dice gods and story man allowing)

>> No.21099666

>"I'm an elf! We only have one gender, unisex! We're both, just some have male features other female, but we can reproduce with any other elf, we're tree like in that sense."

"So you're like a clam."


Depends if they want their head covered in slimey seaweed.

What do you do?

>> No.21099674

Rolled 4

lead the enemies (the church) to gallowmore i mean
ive had a bit too much to drink
,but yes, be wary, and head back to the manse, try and unlock the potential from the helm , if i roll 4/4 , or other high rolls again

>> No.21099679

We need a skeleton for them to turn in to Mark's order. Conveniently escaping leaves room for suspicion, a body leaves much less room.

>> No.21099697

I don't buy it, you said that coin landed face up. This is more consistent with "edge." We're asking Clarice about this later.

>> No.21099700


And what features does he/she/it have?

This is important.

>> No.21099704

Rolled 8676


>> No.21099705

....."Well where do half-elves come from then?"

>> No.21099717

No, Adrian is the liar.

>> No.21099729

i rolled 4/4 twice
maybe get a lil more juice from the helm
also, that seems irregular, even trees or plants have identifing characteristics , do you reproduce from live birth? or other systems?

>> No.21099752

".....We can play hardball if you like."

>> No.21099770

>One of the sides faced up.
My exact post.

There are three sides to a 3D coin, heads, tails, and the edge that goes around it.

Sex, of course.

It's like bodily features, are they broad shouldered? Do they have curvy hips? Adrian is a more male one.

>"I have a penis! And a hidden vagina..."

You stare with hollow eyes.

>"Well, when two elves want to have a child, they decide who will father, and who will mother. It's usually the more female looking one, but it can be either. Then they trade genetic information, and an egg is fertilized. The rest, you already know."

What do you do?

>> No.21099774

Ok, lets try this. Open our jaws wide and use the drowning touch on ourselves. See if it sprays water. If so, aim at Adrian. We'll see if there's knockers under there.

>> No.21099798

Rolled 58

"Something tells me not to believe you. Hydra, can you gimme the lowdown on this one?"

>> No.21099819

Rolled 54

Hydra would know, let's go with that

>> No.21099820

>"Fine, if you're so curious I'll show you!"

Adrian stands and drops trousers. You see the wedding tackle, yes, and then it's lifted and you see the coin purse, also.

Well now...

>"Good lords above! Put some cloths on!"
Mark yells at him.

Clarice is blushing.

What do you do?

>> No.21099836

Make a horrified face. Hold it until they leave.

>> No.21099837

Rolled 6043

Wink at Clarice.

>> No.21099842

Drop your trousers. "IS THAT A CHALLENGE"

>> No.21099848

"Well now the mystery is gone and it's boring now. Thanks Adrian, showing off having both while I don't have either any more. Real nice of you. Jerk."

>> No.21099849

Well, it did show us its honor

>> No.21099851

elves are more different from humans then i remember , maybe they were just more effeminate
oh well

>> No.21099857

....Did we ever kill the illusion wizard? We could still be trippin balls and not know it

>> No.21099871

You take off the helmet and show your jaw agape in horror.

You give Clarice a coy wink that no one else sees. She's trying to understand how a skull can wink.

"Well now the mystery is gone and it's boring now. Thanks Adrian, showing off having both while I don't have either any more. Real nice of you. Jerk."

Adrian can't even form a sentence to reply to that.

My setting, my strange creatures.

You decompressed him.

What do you do?

>> No.21099875

no no, the proper response is "Wait, you really do have both? Oh good, you can go fuck yourself then."

>> No.21099891

Wink at Clarice again while implying that you know she's confused as to how you can wink.

>> No.21099898

see if they can march on
i would like to put as much space between us and the dead inquisitor as possible

>> No.21099903

Dramatically throw a tantrum about not having dangley bits, remove your trousers to indicate your point, and disappear into the woods. Return later to retrieve your trousers.

>> No.21099935

"Wait, you really do have both? Oh good, you can go fuck yourself then"
>"Real mature. Racist."

>"Wha-How? You have no eyebrows! How are you doing that?!"
Roll 1d6 SAN loss for Clarice.

>"After this rest, I think we can march on. Leave the fire as a distraction as we head off in another direction."
Mark offers his idea.

You pack up, and march into the woods heading to the manor.

The dawn comes and lights the way after a few hours.

You know the mountains and landmarks around, you're close to town.

After another hour of walking you enter the borders of the town.

What do you do?

>> No.21099958

Rolled 4

Crazy in the head, crazy in bed. Wink again.

>> No.21099985

Rolled 3

"I don't have a penis either Clarice."

>> No.21099988

dont head directly to the mansion
i have a gut feeling, i may be worring, but this was too easy, head toward the square, then towards the apprentices farm
see if we can see anyone following us, on the road or the sky

>> No.21099995

By the amount I normally got san in coc, she should have another 16-18 points left.

>> No.21100006

Rolled 4

>this guy

>> No.21100059

>"But-How? There's no eyebrows... HE HAS NO EYEBROWS! HOW DID HE WINK AT ME?!"

"I don't have a penis, either."
You wink.
She laughs hysterically.

You head over to Steve's farm. So far there's nothing, but after an hour there's a knocking upon the door.

You send Adrian to answer it.


>"This is the Inquisitorial Service of Iustitiam. We want to talk about those undead tilling your crops."

>"Hmm? What undead?"

>"Those ones."

Roll 2d20 for Adrian's bluff, and for his honour.

>> No.21100085

Rolled 4, 1 = 5


>> No.21100090

Rolled 1, 8 = 9

goddamn ad-rain, wrecking the parade

>> No.21100096

Rolled 16, 7 = 23


>> No.21100100

Rolled 3, 12 = 15


>> No.21100131

Rolled 19, 9 = 28

well, that was terrible
lets try again

>> No.21100158

>"Wait! I know that skeleton! That's Daniel the undead! He's been plaguing these lands for a long time! Thank goodness you're here!"

>"Sir Daniel?!"

>"Yes! Look at his head, it must be him!"

>"Oh yes, I see it now. Brothers! Destroy it!"

The robed inquisitors charge the skeleton doing some light weeding.

They gang up on it and use an assortment Smites and Dispel Evil, then finally grinding the bones to dust.

They return to the door.

>"Fear not, ma'am, we've destroyed the foul creature for good. These lands are safe once more."

>"Thank you?"

>"No need. Men!"
He turns around to the others behind him.
>"Today we have slain a great foe! Let us return and be merry!"

The idiot brigade walks off back to where the came from.

What do you do?

>> No.21100172

Rolled 13, 6 = 19

You're fucking useless, Adrian.

>> No.21100187

"OH ADRIAN, MY HERO." Move in for the graveworm kiss. The things with lady parts love that bit.

>> No.21100204

Adrian nimbly ducks under your attempted kiss. Screaming at you to get away.

What do you do?

>> No.21100214

Rolled 6

Roll to grapple

>> No.21100221

Good job, ma'am.

>> No.21100222

Rolled 2

This, our hero gets its reward!

>> No.21100227

Rolled 20

Does this mean Adrian grapples us?

>> No.21100238

I don't think Adrian really wants to get his/her reward.

The screaming and all.

>> No.21100239

Rolled 3

oh god why

>> No.21100252

Rolled 4

It's clear. The dice gods are sick of our rape attempts.
Let's stop for a bit please.

>annoyance hightbo
See? Captcha is tired of it too.

>> No.21100258

Rolled 18

I think Adrian's going to take that reward

>> No.21100266

More extreme sexual harassment than rape. We don't have a penis.

>> No.21100273

No, that means you bull rush him down to the floor and deliver the grave worm kiss.

Adrian pushes you off, gags out the graveworms that seem to live in your mouth, and calls you a cunt.

Before you can lay another one on him, Steve runs into the room.

>"Daniel, Sir, it's Erik, he's summoned a demon in the library and doesn't know how to get rid of it! It's got Gary!"

Thread archived. 'Night.

>> No.21100278


>> No.21100325

Damnit Erik, I knew you'd get power hungry. Unless he summoned a succubus. Thanks for the thread OP, you are not a faggot.

>> No.21100330


How did you know?

>> No.21100340

Because its Erik.

>> No.21100345

Lucky guess, it's Erik.

>> No.21100348

When is this happening again?

>> No.21100354


>> No.21100355

Tomorrow. This is daily, unless I want to sleep a night off.

>> No.21100361

>perv lich
>demon summoning

Oh please. Don't insult our inteligence.
Or our perversion, come to think of it.
Anyway, goodnight, story man. Great thread as always.

>> No.21100367


Same time?

>> No.21100376
File: 166 KB, 576x440, I saw that.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.21100377

It starts from 8:30 - 9:30 PM GMT. Just be browsing /tg/.

>> No.21100385

Just because we didn't try to stop seducing Adrian when we found out it had a penis doesn't mean we're a bunch of pervs. It just means a hole is a hole.

>> No.21100395

You can't see anything Mr. Akoogly eyes.

>> No.21100498

Excuse me, but we're officaly tsundere for a futa elf.
We've become /d/, guys. What have we done! WHAT HAVE WE oh wait that's nothing new anyway. Carry on.

>> No.21100526
File: 22 KB, 370x250, Slaanesh.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


In all seriousness I don't really do the sex or relationships in stories. Seems a bit crude.

But the courting leading to it, that's entertaining.

>> No.21100632
File: 123 KB, 599x405, A billion hours in paint.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I have no idea what you're talking about.

>> No.21100750

Rolled 10, 9 = 19

it happens daily so far as ive seen. Story man will usually announce if there is going to be a significat break. this is the 2nd time ive missed the thread. got to be a better way to track them lol. the thread archive is at suptg at this link:


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