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[ERROR] No.21058837 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

What is the most amazing weapon ever created or conceived by man or god, /tg/?

Any setting. Any period. Any system.

>> No.21058855

The sword is pretty iconic. So many things have been achieved through and based on it.

>> No.21058858

Fear or surprise.

>> No.21058884

In terms of "over the course of all history" I'd probably have to go with polearms.

From a simple sharpened stick from the beginnings of human society all the way up to elegant renaissance halberds and the like.

In terms of just generally bat shite crazy/amazing, then I've got to go with the Gustav.

>> No.21058896


>> No.21058913

The Atom Bomb, I guess.

>> No.21058931

The fire-hardened spear. Honorable mention to the machinegun.

>> No.21058938


A Women's Smile


>> No.21058942


You have to love that they went ahead and tested that fucker even though some people weren't even sure what would happen.

Oh it's okay there's only a 0.00001% chance that it might set all the oxygen in the air on fire and wipe out the planet, go for it!

>> No.21058956

in "1001 sci fi weapons" there is the thanatos device, a floating, upside down, indestructible d4 that when activated kills everything within 80,000 light years

>> No.21058984


It is I! My legend begins in the 12th century, deep in the bowels of down town New York City. It was a warm summer day, when I defeated the Khan. He fought well, even though the cold winter air nipped at our very souls.

>> No.21058999

The sound of a cat's footstep, the roots of a mountain, the beard of a woman, the sinews of a bear, the breath of a fish, and the spittle of a bird.

That about sums it up, I'd say.

>> No.21059033

Gay bomb.

>> No.21059048


Are you kidding. Scientists do that shit all the time.

Biological weapon research, gotta make sure no one else does it first!
Black hole machine under Switzerland, turn that fucker up so we accidentally break physics!
Digging into undisturbed Antartic lakes, lets see what's alive down there!
Genetically modified crops and permanent contamination of the environment, I'm sure wind won't be a problem!
Geo-engineering projects involving pumping global dimming agents into the atmosphere, what could possibly go wrong?

And that's why science is awesome. It doesn't give two fucks.

>> No.21059051

The mind, of course. Able to simulate millions of different possibilities in order to find the best possible path in any situation, able to endure incredible physical and psychological trauma, able to visualize something and utilize it's surroundings to make it reality. Truly the greatest weapon of all.

>> No.21059059

>> No.21059086


Ahahah, well fair point.

There is just a bit more of a dramatic difference between "hey we made this little pot of goop which if released will wipe out all human life" and "we've just set the air on fire...ALL THE AIR."

>> No.21059118

>> No.21059144


Did I ever tell you about the time that I defeated Nazi Germany with one fell swoop of my good friend Teddy?

>> No.21059149


>> No.21059177

speaking of scientists setting all of the everything on fire
"hey man, there are too many fumes down in those caves for us to work"
"lets set it on fire and wait for all the gas to burn out"
i forget, how long has hell's gate been burning

>> No.21059215

I love it. Just got approved to fly until 2028, and there's nothing in the pipe to replace it even then. Not bad for an airframe designed in 1966.

>> No.21059238

it will out live all of use

>> No.21059301

Great example of PC plans that end with "what could go wrong?"

>> No.21059328


>> No.21059344

You're talking about an overclocked monkeybrain whose primary function is swinging in the trees and half the people who have one can barely manage to operate a can opener. I'm not impressed.

>> No.21059363

But yours is dull, since you don't know how to spell very basic words.

>> No.21059371

you do know what CIWS stands for right


>> No.21059389

You clearly took away the wrong thing from that image.

>> No.21059392

A rock is the greatest weapon of all.

Think about it; they're everywhere, and anyone can get one. Realistically, not everyone can get a sword or bow; much less be skilled with one. But as far as rocks go, one person is as skilled with a rock as anyone else. You can use rocks in melee fights, or you could throw them. They can be a great distraction if thrown at the right times, and they are easily replaceable. Rocks are very versatile, and are unlikely to break in crucial moments. Even if one were to break, you could pick up another rock and keep on going.

Rocks used in conjunction with each other can make for very fearsome traps. One small rock triggers another few rocks to roll down a hill, and those rocks force other rocks into motion. Suddenly, there's a 2-ton boulder ready to flatten your enemies, and kill anyone in its way. This trap is nearly undetectable; most would think that it is simply geological coincidence that these rocks have stopped in strategic points along a hill. They would never guess that the cunning rocks is the key to their downfall. The humble rock is not camouflage; it does not blend in with its surroundings; the rocks ARE the surroundings.

Truly it is a fearsome weapon.

>> No.21059426

I always like finding the off-brand enchanted weapons D&D/RPGs/etc. Really I'm just grassisgreenerontheotherside ing but a runed musical instrument that summons? Forget the swords suddenly I'm interested.

>> No.21059457


>> No.21059473

The Sword of Creation.

>> No.21059533

Amazing ? the h-bomb would amaze me the most.

It was concieved by monkeys, not man or god.

>> No.21059547


>> No.21059558


Did you know that in a series of experiments they proved you can't cause the earth's atmosphere to really ignite. And that they did this in part by producing temperatures that should cause such a thing, and exposing them to the air. And then they went and said, naw you see its an endothermic reaction, clearly it takes more heat to get oxygen to burn nitrogen than the resulting fire causes.

>> No.21059564

I am amazed that no one pushed that rock, even though it's next to a parking lot.

>> No.21059567

Monkeys and humans are both primates. The definition of the genus _homo_ is "tool use." So no, by definition, the use of rocks as tools was devised by humans.

>> No.21059575


>> No.21059586

The big bang.
It was pretty cool, I guess.

>> No.21059589

>Digging into undisturbed Antartic lakes, lets see what's alive down there!

what, when?

>> No.21059593


Actually it takes tons of force, literally tons, to get those rocks to move, they aren't precariously perched at all.

>> No.21059601

Right now, actually. Google that shit.

>> No.21059619

the atomic bomb

a weapon so terrible and powerful it only needed to be used once

>> No.21059621

>muh google is broken
Have some selfrespect and do it yourself.

>> No.21059634

The Pogo-Saw.

>> No.21059639

>a weapon so terrible and powerful it only needed to be used once
Are you shitting me or is this deliberate?

>your education...

>> No.21059640

This suit of "genocide" armor.

>> No.21059645


Also the coldest inhabited spot on the planet. Scott-Amundssen ain't even close.

>> No.21059685

Et tu, Brute!

>> No.21059688

I would see that as using it only once since it was part of the same strike

during no other war or conflict have atomic weapons been used and the fear of its usage kept even the greatest powers from engaging in active combat

>> No.21059705

Apes that do not belong to the homo group use tools, so I don't believe that's the definition.

>> No.21059721

He may just be making some serious political commentary.

It only needed to be used once. Americans used it a second time because we're dicks.

>> No.21059728

>>a weapon so terrible and powerful it only needed to be used once

quite aside from the obvious ignorance, you seem blissfully ignorant of the fact that 2,054 atomic bombs have been detonated in the last 67 years.

>> No.21059740


How terrifying must the chozo have been during their height...

>> No.21059765

Tool working perhaps, taking a rock and making it into a more useful shape.
I dunno, taxonomy can be weird.
There's talk that maybe we shouldn't be a different genus at all.

>> No.21059771

and how many of those intentionally killed people?

there's a major difference between testing a weapon and using a weapon in combat

>> No.21059786


Well the were basically gods at that point in time with a perfect fusion of magic and technology.

>> No.21059798

The reality.
Not only it dropped dead all people that used to live but also managed to crush their dreams .

>> No.21059802

Modern apes use objects as tools but they do not make tools. It's a relevant question: Do we call the animal _homo habilis_, or _australopithecus_?

>> No.21059809


All this argument over my status changes nothing, I will not sign autographs.

I will provide my complimentary mandatory 5 hour story time however.

>> No.21059841

there's some documented cases of actual toolmaking among chimps and related though

>> No.21059842

You're a cheap knock-off made from the remains of Caledfwlch.
You're nothing without your symbolic-uterus anyway.

>> No.21059846

A leash?
How on earth is a leash the bestest weapon ever?

>> No.21059854

Well, that's a different issue then. Rocks don't need to be modified to be used.

>> No.21059861

>implying australopitecus isn't just a frau

>> No.21059868

It's in the hands. The ability to manipulate the thumb is a uniquely human trait. Observe the chimp: His fingers are locked in place. Even if he made tools he couldn't use them. Your ring finger is still the same way as all their fingers. A pressure-sensitive glove hooked up to a computer shows that even making stone tools isn't what requires uniquely human dexterity, it's using the tools you make that requires your fingers to be able to "float" as they do.

>> No.21059887


>> No.21059895

though Frau Australopitecus wouldn't be bad.

>> No.21059896



My legend begins in the 12th century. Caledfwlch is the name my sweet Welsh lover named me during the Jewish exodus of Egypt.

Yes, it was a cold winter in the depths of Dakota. My children called upon me to get them water. With the slice of the air, the rocks bled that which they desired!

Caledfwlch! Caledfwlch! They cried in admiration of me. To which I replied. FOOLS. I am Excalibur! My legend begins in the 12th century!

>> No.21059917

I think you're confusing use and manufacture. A bamboo stick for use in a termite mound is not manufactured.

It is a similar issue. Even the notion to pick up a rock and use it as a tool is rare. Realize modern chimps have had just as much time to evolve from our common ancestor as humans. And if you do not pick up the rock in the first place, it is hard to imagine a descendant of yours evolving the ability to manufuacture an axe from it, or the ability to use that axe.

>> No.21059930

>Even if he made tools he couldn't use them.
I don't know what you're talking about. They're dexterous enough to open nuts with rocks and to use twigs to fish out termites from their holes.

>> No.21059934

Evidence isn't fraud, it is the opposite.

>> No.21059940

I did see a video of a chimp sharpening a stick on purpose with a rock

which one could take as manufacturing a tool

corvids btw have been documented multiple times to be capable of manufacturing tools

>> No.21059941


Thing I don't get about excalibur is, anyone can use him, its almost that he can't even prevent people from doing it. So all you would need would be a pair of earplugs and to keep a firm grip on him, boom super sword.

>> No.21059947

EX-Calibur. From Calibur.
From Caladbolg.
From Caledfwch.

You still haven't addressed the durable-phallus-enduring-vagina issue. Without the scabbard you're just a pretty-good sword.

>> No.21059952

i think he would still be annoying...cane to face...and probably just talk louder assuming you ignore him.

>> No.21059961

>A bamboo stick for use in a termite mound is not manufactured.
What if they take it from the bamboo tree and tear of the smaller branches and leaves ? Isn't that manufacture ?

>> No.21059969

I mentioned the methodology used. It's from a BBC documentary on human evolution, available on youtube. Using a stone axe produced by _homo erectus_ requires hand flexibility unique to the genus _homo_. Chimps went a different route: Immense strength. The tradeoff for strength is dexterity, and vice versa.

>> No.21059992


But he has no power himself, you could just catch the fucking cane and beat him back with it. I think its entirely possible that arthur just found a way to shut him up.

>> No.21060001

you can't shut him up, you can't drown him out, his voice speaks to your very soul

>> No.21060011

If I don't say it's manufactured, it isn't!

>> No.21060026

>chimp sharpening a stick on purpose with a rock
Neat. It's unlikely our common ancestor did, though. Probably homologous evolution. It is after all an open question why, given the same 3 million years, humans evolved with unprecedented rapidity and chimps didn't.

>corvids manufacturing tools
I'd love to see what exactly they manufacture. That's even a more distant relation. They have a completely different neocortex-analogue. In my experience, they tried to determine whether I could count. I can, and did, and I hope I was a good representative of our species. Any animal that can perform psychological tests on other animals has something profound and wonderful going on.

>> No.21060044

So all we need is a wielder with no soul. Somebody go find us an easy to manipulate /b/tard.

>> No.21060048


>hasn't strangled armies of enemies to death with an unbreakable leash

Keep on being pleb, pal.

>> No.21060058

>it was part of the same strike
No. It was two separate drops with one coming three days after the other..

>> No.21060068

Do you really want to risk Matthew Wardingham running around writing smurfmarine fluff while listening to Excalibur?

>> No.21060070

That's a gray area. Note it does not require much hand dexterity.

That isn't how knowledge works. Scientists do themselves a discredit when they ape priests. I hope we can keep this conversation about problem-solving rather than trolling or pedantry.

>> No.21060073

There was a character in the anime named Hero who loved being around Excalibur and was his best friend, but Excalibur started blowing his nose too often (or something like that) and Hero got sick of him and left him back in his cave.

The point is Excalibur can be wielded by Anyone, but No one can stand him. If you wield him it's because he's just stopping the charade long enough to make a difference and get people's attention.

>> No.21060076

let's see...

got a few that i can think of:

1: Vulcan pistol: a 3-barrelled Gatling pistol (the magazine is worn on the belt.)

2: Tokamak cannon: a massive particle accelerator that accelerates a slug the size of a Volkswagen beetle to near light-speed then directs it down a long magnet-lined chamber and out the barrel. commonly used as orbital artillery.

3: hellblade: a dagger once used by demons to torment the damned. it will burn through almost any material you cut with it.

4: hunter's hatchet: always returns to the thrower.

5: cluster launcher: special bazooka-type man-portible missile launcher that can launch up to 6 missiles simultaneously, or in quick succession, or in semi-automatic form.

>> No.21060082


Well, I guess the only solution is to lock him in the book of Eibon. I'm sure the faeries would invite you to their party if you were to do such a thing.


You can't use his power if you don't have a soul, soul resonance is the basis of basically all demon weapon powers in soul eater. And excaliber has never shown that much in having his own power, just swinging him around won't really do anything.

>> No.21060095

Except that the leash broke, bub.

>> No.21060104

>implying words have objective, context-free meanings
This thread was already derailed, I only illustrate it's follies.

>> No.21060105

>corvid neocortex-analogue
Ref? I can't into corvid neuroanatomy.

>> No.21060123

It's right in the name.

>> No.21060124

corvids have been capable of manipulating metal wire into complex shapes that would aid them under testing conditions

several documented cases had the corvids, after learning by trial and error how to use the wirehooks and other shapes they created to escape from their cages

>> No.21060147

There's a story here.
Please share.

>> No.21060175

>1: Vulcan pistol: a 3-barrelled Gatling pistol (the magazine is worn on the belt.)
so... a super machine gun with even more moving parts? where's the motor kept?

>2: Tokamak cannon: a massive particle accelerator that accelerates a slug the size of a Volkswagen beetle to near light-speed then directs it down a long magnet-lined chamber and out the barrel. commonly used as orbital artillery.
>3: hellblade: a dagger once used by demons to torment the damned. it will burn through almost any material you cut with it.
sounds kinda emo

anything else?

>> No.21060202

The brain.

>> No.21060214

It's basically implied that he along with death, asura, and that thing in the book of eibon are all essentially elder gods. Really, I just think he fucks around with people because he enjoys it.

>> No.21060227

The pointy bit of metal/stone tied to a wooden haft
Life span time immemorial-1600's

>> No.21060255

>What is the most amazing weapon ever created or conceived by man or god, /tg/?

>> No.21060275

This is a paradox of language: Words must have finite meaning, and they must have fluid meaning. Compare to the engineering issue of steel for swordmaking that must be simultaneously hard and soft. Like any paradox, claiming it cannot be solved is the worst of all possible answers. There are swords after all. There are words that help humans in the search for knowledge.


Then the quest is on to find the analogue for the dexterity of the human hand. The dexterity of the bird neck, perhaps?

It's oldest incarnation didn't even require the haft. Humans still fashion rocks in that pattern. Pic related: The handaxe made by _homo erectus_ for a million years and more. They even made ones that survive to the present with no wear and tear. Something about this shape resonates deeply with humans, for obvious reasons.

>> No.21060299

>What is the most amazing weapon ever created by man or god? /tg/.

>> No.21060315

corvids are still a bit limited in their dexterity. It is good enough to pick simple locks and they can operate simple human-build machinery but its a limit
(the machinery part is where a guy managed to get a murder of crows in his city to get food from a vending machine he built, using actual coins they picked up all over town)

they also managed to adapt very efficiently to city life, something in which they are alone among the sapient animals (not counting humans of course)

>> No.21060351

IT'S NOT A FUCKIN' BOOK! IT'S A WEAPON. A weapon aimed right at the hearts and minds of the weak and the desperate. It will give us control of them. If we want to rule more than one small, fuckin' town, we have to have it. People will come from all over, they'll do exactly what I tell 'em if the words are from the book. It's happened before and it'll happen again. All we need is that book.

>> No.21060381

the katana

>> No.21060437

>not counting humans of course
Not all humans are adept at city life. That's why so many live in rural areas. I say that to say this: Adapting to a city is impressive. It shows incredible mental dexterity. Learning what money is took 6 weeks for monkeys in one test, and they were being taught. The corvid physical dexterity you describe is impressive, but it appears inherently limited by their physical bodies. They have two bills, two feet, and a tongue. It looks like that's what's really holding them back. You can only go so far with that, like dolphins inability to make fire underwater.

>> No.21060487

>that's what's really holding them back
So if we took a crow brain and put it in a robot?

>> No.21060524

They'd have to learn/evolve to use the new body.
Probably a step too far.

>> No.21060534

Like any brain in a giant robot, it would run for President.

>> No.21060535

one of their, in my opinion, most impressive adapations to city life is the usage of stoplights

in various cities around the world corvids have, indepdently learned how stoplights function, taught this to their offspring and learned them how to use the cars at stoplights as, in essence, a canopener

by waiting for red light, landing on the pedestrian crossing (they figured out somehow it is a safer area), placing a hard to crack nut or other shell around their food, waiting for the cars to crush it during green light and picking it back up at red light

there's various other known instances where crows are using human made machineries and conventions to their own benefit and teaching it to their children who then expand upon the knowledge

>> No.21060551

Any bludgeoning weapon named the power of knowledge

>> No.21060553

I wish they would just ask. I'd open a can for a crow if he asked me to.

>> No.21060562

Yeah we are aren't we.

>> No.21060586


On the other hand, corvids have been show to possess a fairly mind-blowing bit of mental dexterity. In one test, a corvid was able to construct a tool in order to manipulate a second, remote, tool. A scoop to remove food was affixed to a pivot on the side of a food box, placed inside the larger experiment box. A corvid constructed a wire armature to _hook around_ the 'handle' end of the scoop and used it to lift food from the food box, recovered the wire tool and reworked it to retrieve the food from the experiment box.

If you can make a tool which allows you to manipulate a tool which allows a manipulation you are not usually capable of then the level of complexity you can achieve is pretty much only intellectually limited (consider the gramophone, for example, which is just a mechanical tool.)

>> No.21060630

good news crows can learn to speak and understand basic human language

to the point some of them (taught in captivity) have been known to correctly use abstract english words in understandable sentences.
An interesting example would be a crow, who had not been taught the word apple, but was taught several other fruit names, that asked for a iirc Banarry. Because he wanted the fruit that looked like a banana on the inside and a cherry on the outside

>> No.21060641

What really gets me is they're so intelligent but we can't communicate with them. Mathematical analysis indicates they have syntax and grammar, and recordings show they have regional accents, but we haven't cracked their language yet. At least with dolphins, they can be taught what human words mean. That indicates that if we can't decode dolphin, maybe dolphins can be taught English and then help us decode their language.

>> No.21060651

didn't a crow also use this new found skill to escape from its cage and destroy the researcher's computer out of spite?

it was caught on camera

>> No.21060655


Ok well then it's an issue of teaching the crows English and them teaching us their language.

>> No.21060668




the only reason we cannot communicate with crows as extensively as we can with apes or dolphins is mostly related to the fact that the discovery of their intellect is fairly recent and the number of dedicated researchers is extremely low

>> No.21060680

Yeah they're spiteful bastards, like primates.


>> No.21060688

assuming you'd get their support. Crows are known to hold grudges and have knowledge of terms such as revenge

captive crows might not be to willing

>> No.21060759

That we have to use the same bioethics as with human subjects says something profound about ethics.

>> No.21060818

>Black Hole Machine

Except no physicist worth his weight in PhDs thought this.

>Geo-engineering projects involving pumping global dimming agents into the atmosphere, what could possibly go wrong?

You make it sound like they've actually done this, they haven't.

>Genetically modified crops and permanent contamination of the environment, I'm sure wind won't be a problem!


>> No.21060875

why am I suddenly imagining a mad scientist torturing a crow yelling


>> No.21060899


>> No.21060955

The atomic bomb.

It can burn whole buildings if someone is careless.

>> No.21060980


>> No.21060991


>> No.21061175

Hah, reading all these weapons and BAM excalibur jumps in. made me laugh, thanks

>> No.21061301

Can we still awards internets to people?

>> No.21061319

Not without bankrupting the interconomy.

>> No.21061426

Disappointed /tg/. Clearly the only right answer is
pic related.

>> No.21061463

>not the cut-down version uploaded >>21057687
Stock is always bad.
You can't even kill a man with that piece of shit.

>> No.21061468

>also posting this because it is simply beautiful.

>> No.21061493

I do like a lever-action...

Can't believe this has yet to be posted.

>> No.21062341


>> No.21062395

on a material base

otherwise, maybe language or religion

>> No.21062405

Oh lord, it's hidious. Take it away.

>> No.21062686

Project Pluto and the Supersonic Low Altitude Missile.

Let me paint a picture for you.
Three conventional Liquid Fuel Rockets ignite upon liftoff and carry this thing up to cruising speed/altitude, at which point main propulsion kicks in and the LFEs are jettisoned.

In this case, "cruising speed" is several times the speed of sound, "cruising altitude" is about treetop level, and "main propulsion" is a nuclear-powered ramjet.

The shockwave alone from this thing would be sufficient to level buildings, and whatever was left would be massively irradiated by its exhaust.

Then this thing would fly out over the ocean, and just kind of circle. Since it was nuclear powered, this thing could wait in a "holding pattern" for months before they give it the code to go after its targets.

It carried a payload of thirteen nuclear bombs which were launched upward, metaphorically throwing them over its shoulder as it screamed by. By the time the bomb hit the ground, the missile would be halfway to its next target.

Once its payload was expended, it would crash-land somewhere in the ocean. That's assuming that High Command wanted to be merciful. Assuming not, then the missile could be sent to kamikaze itself into a final target, presumably leaving a giant radioactive skid mark where there was once a city.

Wrap those nukes in Cobalt, and you have a weapon that could single handedly render the majority of the planet unfit to sustain life.

God. Damn.

>> No.21062779

>Wrap those nukes in Cobalt, and you have a weapon that could single handedly render the majority of the planet unfit to sustain life.

>> No.21063526

Disregarding the three-day difference, they were intentionally separate events. The first nuke scared Japan into debating peace; that wasn't enough, so America nuked again to make them conclude on peace.

>> No.21063657

there was evidence that japan was already covering up the first bombing before we dropped the second, but with the small time period between them, we will never know.
But we DO know that if we didn't drop any of them, we would have list a buncha people invading japan, and it probably would have been divided up like germany.

>> No.21063669

Wow, /tg/.. I'm truly impressed! Really. Some great answers.

What impresses me most is how many unusual terms, euphemisms, and new ways you have all found to say "Gunlance". Actually, it's a little bit baffling, if you ask me, that you need so many different words for Gunlance, but I can't fault you for creativity.

At any rate, I agree. The Gunlance is the greatest weapon ever for all evers.

>> No.21063690

There's also the issue of having two radically different technologies (uranium gun, plutonium implosion) to test.

>> No.21063877

you realize that ur comparing a 30mm canon developed in 1970s to a 20mm cannon developed in the 1950s as well as the fact that those are for CIWSs and not for CAS vehicles.

>> No.21064166

Gods, you say?
Well, I don't know how gods wage war, but the greatest inspirations to war thanks to god(s)?
add in the simple fact of limited resources and lovely things like starvation, and these are why EVERY war EVER was fought.
God(s) is/are (a) dick(s).
>Strategic nuclear weapons have the advantage now, with honorable mentions to claws, teeth, sticks and rocks, because they were some of the earliest weapons.

>> No.21064395

Humanity has developed weapons that can slay men with ease, destroy cities in an instant and even render our planet a sterile ball of glass.
None of these, however, are the ultimate of man. Since the dawn of mankind, man has killed man with his bare hands. This will be true so long as humans exist in a recognizable form. No matter how far humanity goes, no matter how advanced we become, men will still kill men with their fists.
It is the weapon all men are born with, and all men can use in some capacity. Without being taught, man knows how to hurt with his fist. It's written into us.

>> No.21064476

It's pathetic compared to other primates. The same is true for the bite instinct: It's still there, but the canines are pathetic, and the muscle disappeared to make room for the brain. Not only are human muscles specialized for fine motor control over brute force, but the human hand is specialized too. Chimps can devastate humans in a fight because they retain the ape strength of our ancestors. Humans can't even punch each other in the face without breaking our hands.

>> No.21064509

In criminology, most unarmed combat between humans is nonlethal. It only rarely ever ends with a fatality, and that is usually do to preexisting conditions. You have to use something extra for that: The curb, a rock, karate. The instinct is there but it's atavistic. Whereas a chimp can drop a man in seconds with a single punch, let alone if he literally rips the man's face off with his bite. The fact boxing and MMA matches don't end in 10 seconds with one or more fatalities indicates the human animal is pathetic at unarmed combat.

>> No.21064553

>written into us
Ever seen video of untrained fighters instinctively flailing away? It's more of a posturing thing than a killing one.

>> No.21064596

Chimps do the same thing, but the "flailing" is devastating because they are immensely strong.

>> No.21064609

You mean to say that you *don't* bite your opponents' faces off?

>> No.21064621

Alright, I'll admit I was romanticising it, but you have to admit, there isn't a single person on earth who doesn't know how to ball up a fist and throw it. They may suck at it, but the instinct is there. A poorly thrown punch that happens to hit a weak spot can send you reeling. Getting sucker punched sucks no matter who does it to you.

>> No.21064644

Samuel Colt made it under the light of Haley's Comet and only a handful of bullets...only used it a few times.

Gun can kill anything.


Or are the brothers Winchesters the greatest weapon ever conceived by G-d?

>> No.21064658


Have we agreed that I am the legend that began this tale?

>> No.21064672

get back in the hole

>> No.21064695

>there isn't a single person on earth who doesn't know how to ball up a fist
That's actually pretty novel. Being able to ball your fist isn't something other apes can do. Their hands aren't flexible enough. As for humans, they tend to be stupid, and do things like put their thumb on the inside of the balled fist, or scratch and slap.

>> No.21064699

The general low lethatlity in unarmed fights is generally due to the fact that most people don't have the stomach for the level of brutality involved in killing with your bare hands. Most times the goal isn't actually killing the other person. The average fistfight between two people is usually about dominance or proving a point. If you were to knock someone down and start repeatedly punching them in the temple, back of the head or throat you could very easily kill them. Hell, in MMA and boxing, a large part of the referee's responsibility is to stop the fight in the event that continuing it poses a mortal threat to one of the fighters.

>> No.21064735


That hole is my humble abode, where I single raised my wife and our two children. Ah yes, it was a bitter fight against the Roman Legion that summer.

>> No.21064866

Uh huh. Any more?

>> No.21064895

I know this is fucking trollbait, but for fuck's sake, that's not how swords are tested. That's not how swords strike one another.

Katanas aren't godly, but for fuck's sake, who the hell thinks it makes any fucking sense to test a sword by bashing it against another blade that's been bolted to a table?

>> No.21064988

I personally enjoy the Vorpal Blade or Crissaegrim, a sword that once swung sends tens of lethal blades of razor-sharp air/energy forward. Just something so very posh about gently waving a sword at someone and then watching them burst into ribbons.

>> No.21065016

Worked out pretty good for the longsword when they did the same thing.

>> No.21065041

The longsword and the katana are funamentally different weapons in every conceivable way other than being sharp metal with handles.

>> No.21065051


And all that proves is that longswords are better at hitting solidly bolted down lumps of metal.

Which isn't surprising considering katanas were designed for slashing through flesh and maaaybe some light armour, while the longsword is designed fo...

Why the fuck am I even wasting my time.

>> No.21065054


Basically it was a test of which weapon could chop through a stable steel bar.

Which is not what swords are for godddamit

>> No.21065257

The Internet, Its consumed more lives than anything and changed the world.

>> No.21068096

You, Sir, have poor taste.
It is one weapon for every situation.

>> No.21068130

Would you know about "fists" without having seen someone else do it?
I think it's more likely you'd go for a nails-claw technique instinctively.

>> No.21068228

Nothing in nature strikes with a closed fist.

The proper way is to use the heel of your palm, with the shock absorption of skin and muscle and the rigidity of bone behind it, driving it into the nose, the throat, or the ear.

Or you know, use literally anything else because the human body is soft and weak. Even a rock or a stick works better.

>> No.21068238


Of course, high calibre explosive rounds never hurt.

>> No.21068239


>Bitches don't know about our toxic bites.

I've always heard that a human bite is laden with tons of different diseases.

>> No.21068252

That is all.

>> No.21068255

I went for grapple-pin-bite as a toddler.

We know this because my parents owned a cat, which decided it disliked me.

Emphasis on "owned".

>> No.21068262

You heard wrong. Our mouths are dirty, but we've got nothing on the major predators and scavengers, and the Komodo Dragon makes us look positively sterile.

>> No.21068275

Nothing in nature's got shit on these mad weapons we've got.

I'd like to see your precious nature top this baby.

>> No.21068283

That fat guy in front of the thing, his swagger is enormous.

>> No.21068287

At one point in time it was, now we eat cleaner food and have better oral hygiene in general.
Hobos still have dirty mouths, but the Average Joe isn't anywhere near as bad.

>> No.21068288

The human body is actually pretty damned versatile.
We've got stamina like mad cunts, a lot of strength, etc. We, however, have to actively seek out the potential of our bodies, because we don't use it as much. We don't need to.

>> No.21068291

We use this to fight dinosaurs.

>> No.21068298

Yes, all true, but then you're leaving out that I didn't say "Weak" I said SOFT.

And we are soft, we're fucking squishy. There isn't a properly rigid part of us, let alone sharpened. We have no natural weapons. Our natural weapon is whatever's laying around.

>> No.21068302

We used it back in they day before we had tech, but yeah. Imagine ancient humans with access to martial arts like krav maga.

>> No.21068315

Martial arts are only useful against other humans.

True that.
We can withstand a lot of punishment, though, if conditioned for it.
Our natural weapon is plenty good to beat the shit out of crocodiles or whatever. It's been done.

Wasn't there that one 70-year old who beat the shit out of a croc to save his dog?

>> No.21068322


>> No.21068330

I don't think she needs fire.

She's already plenty setting my heart ablaze

>> No.21068374

Black Barrel from the Nasu Kinoko work Notes. It can only be wielded by a perfectly normal human due to it being destructive and hostile to immortals, and it does extreme amounts of damage to anything that is an immortal. The 'more immortal' you are, the more powerful it is.

How powerful? The Ultimate One of Venus was taken down in one bullet fired by Gun God. Theoretically, it could easily kill Arcueid.

>> No.21068383


>> No.21068458


>> No.21068472

I finally see where that came from!

Fuck, it's so obvious now that I think about it

>> No.21068519

Fictional weapons are so boring, they almost always fall short of reality. Especially when we can look at all the truly horrific toys we've developed over the last couple of centuries.

>> No.21069400

are you kidding me?
I am super skinny, and my elbow is hard and pointy as shit. People have related getting hit with it to a really dense stick.
I mean, we don't have exoskeleton or anything, but if you look hard enough, you can find rigid, sharp bits.

>> No.21069472

37 years.


>> No.21069615

Wasn't expecting that.

>> No.21070106

It's not piercing though, just more pointy than a fist.
And any force you apply is applied right back at you, so if you hit too hard you've broken your own elbow.
When you learn unarmed combat techniques you're making the best of a bad situation. It is always better to have a weapon, even if that weapon is someone else's bone.

>> No.21070267

The poleaxe.

One of the very, very few weapons capable of defeating plate through brute force, while still being an excellent tool for unarmored fighting and grappling.

Also, elegant as fuck.

>> No.21071986

It's not the gas.

They lit the coal seam on fire too, by accident.

>> No.21072229

Musashi (prolly among others) discouraged a warrior to have a preference of any weapon over another, as it clouds our decision on choosing the one best suited for a given situation.

Personally I think the longsword. The medieval sword being perhaps one of the stronges symbols of western culture (It also includes the cross (; ) Other medieval weapons have significantly less material written on them, although making a distinction between the swords we see in goliath fechtbuch and marozzo spada di due mani or montante may seem artificial.

But still I prefer the flow, feel and spirit of longsword fencing over other weapons, even though I still suck ass in it.

hema kicks ass.

>> No.21072259

The Culture.

A galaxy-spanning weapon that uses black holes as focuses and suns as ammunition.

>> No.21072313

Hand-and-a-half swords. If you have to ask why, it means you are a faggot who is terrible at both history and analyzing combat application.

>> No.21072388

GAU-8 Avenger.

>> No.21073702

nukes? those are small time. I want a weapon that can take down alien battleships while they're still in orbit around Saturn!

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