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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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[ERROR] No.20876597 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

I need origin stories! Superhero origin stories!

>> No.20876617

>>20876597
he was bitten by radioactive water during a scientiffic bathing holiday and now has the power of water and ice!

>> No.20876675

He fell into some radiation and died from radiation poisoning, but a gypsy cursed him so now he's the Green Ghost.

>> No.20876703

>>20876675
Would unironically use.

>> No.20876721

German soldier who got hit with an irradiated piece of the Berlin Wall when it was destroyed.

Now he has become....The Wall

>> No.20876731

A teenaged internet access who accidentally downloaded a copy of the mythical Necronomicon. Vast magical powers, coupled with raging douchebaggery and other fun traits.

>> No.20876740

>>20876721
>implying it needs to be irradiated

>> No.20876741

>>20876731
Addict, not access... I'm a moron.

>> No.20876749

>>20876721

That shits crazy, yo!

Why would the Berlin Wall be irradiated?

>> No.20876765

>>20876740
Fuck you, there's no way that's actually a thing.

>> No.20876776

>>20876765
Oh it is.

I just wish I had more than these two.

>> No.20876782

>>20876765
It was from the same magazine as these gems.

>> No.20876786

>>20876776
These comics teach the worst possible life lessons to any kids that read them.

>> No.20876789

>>20876782

>> No.20876795

>>20876786
how rude, they're very informative

>> No.20876798

>>20876782
>>20876776

Allmywhys.jpg

>> No.20876799

>>20876795

>> No.20876800

>>20876795

If 4chan Spidey reaction images have taught me anything, it's that Spider-Man would totally take ALL the potatoes because he's a douche.

>> No.20876807

>>20876799

>> No.20876811

>>20876800
Why does he run around doing everything in costume? Did he have to go watch baseball as Spider-Man?

>> No.20876814

>>20876795
>Get an after school job?
>You become a VILLAIN!
>Get bullied?
>No John, you are the villains.

>> No.20876820

>>20876807

>> No.20876824

>>20876799
>Spider-Man was a nice, normal SUPERHERO...
>...until a villain STOLE his POTATO

And so I turned to a life of crime...

...stealing potatoes from black people!

>> No.20876827

>>20876811

Yeah seriously. And why does nobody care that it's fucking SPIDER-MAN?

He can't even swing by a street in the modern ones without the whole block pointing at the sky in amazement.

>> No.20876828

>>20876824
just wait for the SHOCKING CONCLUSION

>> No.20876834

>>20876820
I don't even want to know how much cash the local dealer got from the marvel studios to maintain this level of creativity with chemicals.

>> No.20876835

>>20876740
Let's make this even more /tg/ relevant

>> No.20876836

>>20876820
>Weekly bath
Ew

>> No.20876838

>>20876828
These people are stupid as hell. "And none for me. Hey!"

>> No.20876841

>> No.20876842

>>20876828

Look at the shit-eating grin this fucker has on his face 24/7.

>> No.20876849

>>20876828
the moral of the story is; helping people means you'll get segregated and waste a lot of time

>> No.20876851

>>20876841
>kid picks up someone else's belongings
>PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE, THANOS

FUCK YOU, BITCH, YOU LEAVE THANOS ALONE

>> No.20876852

>>20876842
That's more Sodomy face than shit eating

>> No.20876853

>>20876836

He's clearly a hobo, look at that torn up top hat, it just screams vagriant.

>> No.20876859

>>20876849

You're invited...

TO JAIL

>> No.20876864

>>20876859
No thank you.

>> No.20876865

>>20876849

And of course the black family's not inviting him back; he left in the middle of dinner! How rude of him!

>> No.20876867

>>20876828
I think i've seen this scene in some live action spidey on TV when i was a kid.

>> No.20876874

>>20876849
You can just tell that spidey is going to follow them and brutally kill every last one of them.

>> No.20876880

Why were the Super Stories always so full of puns?

>> No.20876884

You know, because Spidey couldn't have just zwip netted that guy's ass the first time he saw him.

>> No.20876888

>>20876874
When you think about it, both Hank Pym and Spider-Man are set up really well to be a supervillain, but they both try really hard to be heroes, even though they always get screwed. Why is this?

>> No.20876890

>>20876880

OH GOD DR. DOOM BROKE HIS SPINE

>> No.20876897

>>20876888

Because Uncle Ben.

>> No.20876904

This wasn't in a Spidey Super-Story, but related.

>> No.20876909

>>20876897
I guess, but when you get screwed every single time, you would think one old man starts to become less important. What about Pym though?

>> No.20876925

>>20876909
Growing with Pym-particles makes you mad. Also robots.

>> No.20876928

The Uninvited is like text-book example of the lolrandum CN rogue.

>> No.20876930

>>20876888
There was an alt-universe story where Spider Man was an assassin for hire. Pym built Ultron.

>> No.20876934

>>20876925
No, this is my point. Pym is pretty much the perfect example of a mad scientist type super villain. Why is he a hero?

>> No.20876937

Flex Mentallo style.

>> No.20876955

>>20876934
Because he has some psychological safety valves, like becoming Yellow Jacket.

It seems that he would be a perfect mad scientist but he has enough integrity to stop it from happening and just do something else for a while.

>> No.20876961

>>20876740
>builder in a labcoat
>wall fell on him
Whaaaat.

>> No.20876966

>>20876961
Don't you see that he is building a wall in the middle of a chemistry lab?

>> No.20876969

>>20876966
Por que.

>> No.20876970

Angry mexicans can be a match for the Power Cosmic.

>> No.20876972

>>20876934
>implying that isn't the attraction of the character
That said, Richards is often the same.

>> No.20876973

>>20876934

Because he was introduced as a hero and comics will always succumb to the old defaults. Pym would have made perfect sense to be driven to further villainy in an attempt to prove himself, he's already got a reputation as a wife-beater who built Ultron, the Avenger's greatest foe. He could be a terrifying villain for the Avengers.

Similarly, I like the Riddler as a detective who's vaguely amoral but more or less on the right side of the law. Dude likes figuring things out! Being a detective sorta makes sense for him! But lol no he got hit on the head and turned evil again.

>> No.20876977

>>20876937
>not taking out that weightlifting scrub while skinny

do u even MMA?

>> No.20876979

>>20876973
We all know that Richards does the wife beating thing way better than Pym does. It is the one thing Doctor Doom has yet to claim superiority in.

>> No.20876982

>>20876970
>In before Black Panther's wrestling moves.

>> No.20876988

>>20876973
>>20876979

You guys are reminding me of the Venture Bros.

>> No.20876999

>>20876979
Doom actually cares more about the little guy than RICHARDS! which has been demonstrated time and time again.

>> No.20877000

>>20876937

HERO OF THE BEACH

>> No.20877006

>>20876937
I've been trying to find a torrent for that

>> No.20877017

>>20876999
Yeah, I know. Pretty sad when your arch-nemesis is a better scientist, inventor, father to your own kid, and takes better care of your wife. Even worse that it is still Pym who gets shit for domestic abuse.

>> No.20877019

>>20877000

>> No.20877023

Planetary has a fun take on the FF.

>> No.20877024

jesus christ and people wonder why I hate comic book heroes.

>> No.20877026

>>20877024
>Silver Age comics
>FUCKING FAGGOT COMIC BOOK HEROES

Is dis nigga srs?

>> No.20877054

>>20877017

>Even worse that it is still Pym who gets shit for domestic abuse.

Lets just put that one on Loeb's list of stupid things.

>> No.20877055

>>20876849

>Faster than a rolling O! More powerful than a Silent E! That's LETTERMAN!

Is it wrong that I want to make that hero now, /tg/? I think it could be awesome.

>> No.20877064

>>20877024
Because you're a fun-hating shitheel?

>> No.20877065

>>20877024

These comics were written back in the days when superheroes could still do exceptionally goofy shit and carry on like nothing happened in the next panel. I mean, they still do exceptionally goofy shit now, but these days it's attached to something called a "plot."

>> No.20877076

>>20876849
Wait what how that's supposed to teach any kind of lesson?
The hell?

>> No.20877079

>>20877006
http://www.mediafire.com/?bqwexdtfmuby77i

>> No.20877085

>>20877079
Thank ye sir but I meant the actual cheesy exercise routine the image was advertizing.

>> No.20877092

>>20877076
The lesson is to ask for reward beforehand and do a formal contract.

It is actually much more useful one than in many fables (except for Cyberiada but Cyberiada is awesome).

>> No.20877103

>>20877092
Oh man I love Stanislaw Lem, he's one of my childhood staples.

>> No.20877139

>>20877103
>>20877092
I sensed that someone mentioned one of my favorite science fiction books ever. Lem is so damn underrated.

Now I want to base a setting on it...

>> No.20877144

>>20877055
No, it would be cool.

>> No.20877148

His parents are dead, and/or from space.

>> No.20877157

>>20877139
Run Paranoia but with bots only?

>> No.20877158

>>20877148
those two are the best pair

>> No.20877161

Some of these don't make whole lot of sense.

>> No.20877169

>>20877161

>> No.20877175

>>20877161
>>20877169

I think the lesson here is that if you are in a superhero universe, you need to be putting a lot more prozac in the water supply.

>> No.20877178

>>20877175
I was thinking more along the lines of cyanide.

>> No.20877198

>> No.20877200

>>20877161
>>20877169
To be honest, wacky concepts do work. Look up say, Arkham Asylum: Living Hell for a story that makes them work. Humpty Dumpty is absurd in terms of character concept, but as a character he works. Doodlebug, Death Rattle, Junkyard Dog, etc. fit the same mold.

>> No.20877218

>>20877169
>bus pls stop

>> No.20877231

>>20876597
What comic is this?

>> No.20877234

>>20877178
I don't that is necessary.

>> No.20877243

>>20877198
>children's book writer
Oh lord, I would buy that book.

>> No.20877252

>>20877231
String Theory.

>> No.20877263

>>20877198
It is even funnier when you remember that the original Wolverine's origin story was even sillier.

He was a mutant wolverine cub.

>> No.20877267

>>20877198
Ineedthesourcerightnowplease.c'mon.C'MON.NOW.DOITDOITDOITDOITDOIT.FUCKINGDICKSHITSALMONFLAPPINGWITHE
AGLEWINGSINABURNINGKFCINTHEMIDSTOFATLANTIS.

>> No.20877277

>>20877252
Thank you.
>Captcha entsbCnt Called
they want their bCnt back

>> No.20877281

>>20877267

Sorry man. Iunno. I grabbed in... What I think was a Mutants & Masterminds thread, a couple months back.

>> No.20877291

>>20877178
But that would make you a supervillain then?

>> No.20877296

>>20877281
Godfuckingdamnshitburstingoutofafrozenyogurtmachineinapostapocalypticchicago...

>> No.20877335

>> No.20877342

>>20877296
>>20877267

When B&Hammer didn't get the sauce for the image he saw...

He got very angry and turned to crime. Dressed as the great 4chan hero, Moot!

>> No.20877363

>>20877342
Forever ravaging threads for his demands for sauce the normal posters cowered in fear of his mighty rage.

>> No.20877367

>>20877169
>great French hero, Napoleon
If by "hero" you mean "universally reviled cosmic douchebag" than yeah.

>> No.20877372

>>20877335

that made me laugh

>> No.20877390

>>20877367
>In this age, in past ages, in any ages, Napoleon.
He was a pretty interesting guy, and an amazingly successful military commander.

I am guessing you are American or British.

>> No.20877409

>>20877390

Why would Americans hate Napoleon? Napoleon and the events immediately preceding his raise to Emperor are pretty much the only reason they're an independent country.

>> No.20877418

>>20877409
Nonetheless, a lot of Americans seem to regard him as an awful person.

>> No.20877423

>>20877390
>>20877418
Really? I am American, and most of us seem to regard him pretty well.

>> No.20877438

>>20877390

Hell, I'm a Brit, and I think Napoleon was pretty cool.

Sure, he was at war with us. A lot. But he did a lot of good things, and was a pretty stellar commander.

>> No.20877439

>>20877418
Not that I'm aware of. Far as I can tell, everyone just knows him as "that really short french guy".
>noone knows he was 5' 6" in french feet, which are slightly longer then ours.
>sigh.

>> No.20877561

When one looks at the reforms Napoleon made to his conquered territories, he was the closest thing to the benevolent dictator as possible. His only major flaws were trying to invade Russia and pissing everyone else off.

>> No.20877611

>>20877409
Because we hate all imperialists other than ourselves. Especially the ones who are obvious about it. And boy howdy, was Napoleon obvious.

Kind of facetious but also completely true, sadly.

>>
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