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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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20556148 No.20556148 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

>finish first major adventure in the campaign
>player using a nondescript slavic/russian/something barbarian writes letters home to chronicle our adventures

Dearest Mater,

I find new job, vork at bar and stop trubble with Boss Valin and Boss Vash. Sometime ve make trubble too, ven it is good to make it. Boss and Boss and sneaky man and Corbin are very gud team. Ve go into cave under bar and fite monster fish and ded valky man and stinky lizard men and purple voman that make rock fall from sky. Ve are goingk to find rock and make many gold to kill everybody and take rock, because ve are heroes and take vat is not belong to others.
I send gold to help with farm. Tell Boris he is not to hav it. Boris is bad man, Mater. Bad, bad, stinky man. Tell him I vill kill him if he take it. I am hopingk to hear from you that Boris is dead.

Love from your son,

>> No.20556154
File: 24 KB, 632x467, heavy chickenshit outfit face.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>> No.20556156

>session two goes down
>more letters

Dearest Mater,

Ve take rock, mater. Many of the tiny people try to take it, but ve take it. Ve are heroes and fight blue dog cat thing from rock that fall. They try to kill Corbin, drop tower on him. But Corbin jump out and save girl and ve are heroes again. Perhaps you say a sooper hero. Ve also kill many bad man to take rock that vanted rock to take from us. Ve now run all of bad man’s biznesses.
I am become legitimate bizness man. I am havingk my own arena! Boss and Boss make me Boss, too! I am becomingk very rich man of Riddleport. Sneaky man still is only sneaky man. Ve fight pirates too! Pirates take a girl that vork for Boss and Boss, and ve take her back. I got to kill somebody. Also I send to you vine from Uslav. Please do not be givingk this to Boris, unless it is after you drink it and you hit him with bottel. I am still hopingk to hear Boris is dead and everybody is happy.
Love from your son,

>> No.20556159

So, what's the joke? You're racist?

>> No.20556166


>> No.20556196

I should be terribly offended about this as a slav.
Why i am not?
Also autocorrect is changing slav into slave. THIS is offensive.

>> No.20556234

Because being derpa slav is suffering and it's accurate

>> No.20556268

why should you be offended?

>> No.20556354

There's an actual academic book called 'The Russian Slave Soul', you've got a lot to be offended by.

>> No.20556365

What's the story with Boris OP?

>> No.20556389

Book is about martyrology in russian culture (actually it's common among the slavs, not only russians). There is nothing offensive in this.

>> No.20556414

>First into space

>> No.20556433


>> No.20556438

You have an objection to both or don't, is my point.

>> No.20556454

Not the same guy, but a Slav as well. What is offensive is that the player thinks that a man with such a loose grasp of Common (or however you'd call the language) would send his mother letters in any language other than their native tongue. You don't send letters to your old, dear mother back at home in a language she can't possibly understand.

Plus, choice of words is atrocious even though the ideas behind them aren't too far out for a Slavic criminal aspirant.

Actually, I find it funny that someone took a stereotype of Slavic immigrant as a criminal and turned it into a murderhobo. That's a creative way to be politically incorrect.

>> No.20556459

Even now, hundreds of ex-Soviet warlords and axemen lurk in rotting satellites, waiting to hijack future space vehicles and begin an age of Slavic Star-Barbarism.

>> No.20556464

>Ve are goingk to find rock and make many gold to kill everybody and take rock, because ve are heroes and take vat is not belong to others.

Okay, I chuckled.

>> No.20556480

Fucking German-Americans!

>> No.20556483

You *are* aware that the word slave is derived from "Slav" because the Vikings enslaved so many Slavs that the word became generic for anyone who was enslaved. Robert Ferguson's The VIkings, p. 99

>> No.20556490

Russians are originally Viking though.

>> No.20556492
File: 65 KB, 606x857, 1346427410102.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Can the slav's in this thread translate the letters into slav?
For me?
Pretty please?

>> No.20556498

Holy shit it's true.

>into slav

>> No.20556509

>My sides are moving on they're own

>> No.20556524

So were the French and the English, post-Normandy.

>> No.20556526

>He thinks slavic is one language

>> No.20556532

Sure but they aren't considered Slavic. Plus, both of those are originally Celts.

>> No.20556534

can you not into slav yourself?
vat is rong with your edumaction?

>> No.20556535

I know this. Just when autocorrect changes this... It's kind of annoying.
You mean just write it in some slavonic language or write it with Cyrillic?

>> No.20556538

Incorrect. While "Russia" does derive it's name from the Rus clan who settled there, the majority of the ethnic population living in Russia at the time were also Slavs. Essentially, the Viking Rus formed the ruling elite, with the lower classes formed of native Slavs

>> No.20556540

>"Hyuk hyuk Cleetus, sure them Russians are barbarians!"

Дорогие Mater,

Я люблю сосать хуй, соси в баре и сосать член Главного Валин и Ваш босс. Когда-то нас заняться анальным тоже Вен это хорошо, чтобы сделать это. Босс и Босс и подлый человек и Корбин очень петух присоски. Ve идти в пещеру под бар и сосать петух монстра и Дед Валки петух человека и вонючие ящерица мужчины петух и фиолетовый петух voman, которые делают рок падения с неба. Ve являются goingk найти петуха и сделать много золота, чтобы убить всех и взять петуха, потому что нас герои и принять НДС не относятся к другим.
Я посылаю дерьма, чтобы помочь с фермой. Расскажите Бориса он не ВГА его. Борис плохой человек, Mater. Плохо, плохо, вонючий человек. Скажите ему, что я пос убить его, если он взять его. Я hopingk услышать от вас, что Борис умер.

Любовь с вашего хуесос,

>> No.20556542

Dearest OP,

You is a faggot. Ve don't care about Maters, Boris, on stupid campaign.

Go vuck yourself.


Vabletop Gaems

>> No.20556545

My point is that everyone is descended from the Vikings because the raped everyone.

>> No.20556548

>"Hyuk hyuk Cleetus, sure them Russians are barbarians!"
Freezing Siberian tundra ice burn.

>> No.20556551

>into slav
Oh god it hurts, please stop, please. No one can be this stupid,right?

>> No.20556556

I'm just saying that the core, original population of 'Russia' was Viking. Even if there were only a few of them and they oppressed a bunch of others.

>> No.20556569

Is Corbin even a Slavic name?

>> No.20556571

not the same guy, but I think he means whatever your native slavic language, such as Polish, Czech, Russian, Bosnian, Serbian, etc.(please don't be insulted if I didn't mention your language)

>> No.20556572

Add to this the fact that Slavs also raided Viking settlements too and that it was usually a Slav who sold Slavs as slaves (try reading that quickly).

>> No.20556579

Who cares they're untermensch barabrians, hyuk hyuk!

>> No.20556583

Nope. It's not even sound slavic.

>> No.20556598

People are people. Some people are dumb. In America, they're called hicks, or white trash. In the U.K. they're called chavs.
I'm not aware of what other cultures call their stupid people, but they always exist, and other cultures point to them as the most negative stereotype and try to claim the entirety of the populous is like that.

Roleplaying a dumb person with an accent is (usually) not that sort of attack on the nationality though. It's just saying that some people are dumb, and it's fun to do a silly accent sometimes.

The Slav's who find this funny probably do so because they either know someone who is actually that dumb, or because it's so far off it doesn't even make any sense.

>> No.20556600

Should have left out not caring about Boris and signed it from Boris.

>> No.20556603

I give props to Slavic Europe for being pretty much the centre of mankind's first sorts of major technological progress.

>> No.20556607

If you think that this is hard to say quickly...

>> No.20556618

It's gaelic.

>> No.20556624

Filthy Celts.

>> No.20556625

So, what do you consider the FIRST major tech progress?

>> No.20556636

Oh god my sides

>> No.20556638

Go back about 8000 years from irrigation.

>> No.20556642

I am slav and i have no idea what you are talking about.

>> No.20556644


Part 2 for you, written in Slavic barbarian runes

Дорогие Mater,

Ve взять петуха, матер. Многие из крошечных людей пытаются взять его, но нас принять его. Ve герои и борьба синие вещи кот собака из петуха, который осенью. Они пытаются убить Корбин, падение дерьмо на него. Но Корбин выскочить и спасти девушку и нас герои снова. Может быть, вы говорите Sooper героя. Ve также убить много плохого человека взять петуха, который vanted петуха, чтобы отнять у нас. Ve теперь работают все biznesses плохой человек.
Я стал законным человек Bizness. Я havingk моей собственной арене! Boss Boss и меня босс, тоже! Я becomingk очень богатым человеком Riddleport. Трусливый человек еще только подлый человек. Ve борьбы с пиратами тоже! Пираты взять девушку, которая Ворк для босса и босс, и нас взять ее обратно. Я должен убить кого-нибудь. Кроме того, я пошлю к вам из лозы Uslav. Пожалуйста, не givingk этом Борису, если это после того, как вы пьете его, и вы ударили его bottel. Я до сих пор hopingk услышать Борис умер, и все довольны.
Любовь от вашего сына,

>> No.20556654

Google translate:
>I love sucking dick, suck the bar and sucking cock Chief Valine and your boss. Once we do anal Wen also it's good to do it. Boss and Boss and reptile and Corbin very cock sucker. Ve go to the cave under the bar and sucking monster cock and Santa rolls man's cock and smelly lizard men cock and purple cock voman, that make the rock fall from the sky. Ve are goingk find a cock and make a lot of gold to kill everyone and take a cock, because we take the characters and VAT do not apply to others.
I send shit to help with the farm. Tell Boris does not hav it. Boris bad person, Mater. Bad, bad, smelly people. Tell him that I am the village to kill him if he is to take it. Hopingk I hear from you that Boris is dead.

>> No.20556660

First tool use?

>> No.20556675

Pretty much, central Europe had some really prominent Neolithic civilizations. It's a pretty popular theory that written language originated in the Balkans.

>> No.20556687
File: 46 KB, 268x428, apollyon.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

oh my lawd

>> No.20556694

Hakan poster here, Since "Slav" refers to any and each of you at the same time, asking for "Slav" could mean I'm asking for any Slavic language.

Thanks for your time.
I'm not retarded, you guys are just nit-picky

>> No.20556710

Fucking autistic slav bastards, you mean?

Fuck you racist.

>> No.20556714

Yeah but you still need to remember about human migration. Guys that lived in central/east europe in stone age have more to do with modern germans for example.

>> No.20556732

Well, I don't think you can actually claim any 'pride from descent' regardless of migration when it's so far back. I just like the stuff that was around there way back in human history.

>> No.20556746

Trolling aside, have a good day won't you?

I want you to be happy.

>> No.20556747

Actually, by the time of antiquity, most of the Balkins and southern germany was settled by Celtic peoples. These were eventually either absorbed or pushed out by other migrating peoples such as the slavs.

>> No.20556753
File: 20 KB, 457x406, shiggitydiggitydo.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Ahoj mami.

Dnes som sa správal ako teploš. Myslel som, že som smiešny vysielania na / tg /, ale v skutočnosti som bol len byť mrcha ass nigga teploš kurva som s mojím vlastným vtákom. Prial by som si chcel doslova, ale bol som kurva som skončila, že to, čo mám na mysli.

Každopádne mama Myslím, že by som mal asi zabiť, alebo možno kurva kurča. Vlastne kohút. Pretože som gay.

No bye teraz, som strčil kameň do zadku.

S láskou,


>It's Slovak... seriously, translate this.

>> No.20556785

'Slavic' includes at least 8 different languages, and is about as vague as saying 'Germanic'.

>> No.20556791
File: 141 KB, 363x337, 1344408269917.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>mfw I understand this shit without translator.

>> No.20556796

Is this some google translate shit?

>> No.20556845


>No bye teraz, som strčil kameň do zadku.

Well bye now, I put a stone in the ass.

>> No.20556881

> ass nigga kurva

Pretty self-explanatory.

>> No.20556888

All Slavs hate russians please do not associate the rest of us with them.

>> No.20556904

So are you inserting any more TF2 characters into your game?

>> No.20556908

Pieprz się! Ja lubię rosjan. A rosjanki jeszcze bardziej.

>> No.20556943

I liked russians too when I was in primary school.

>> No.20556974

I thought it was funny. You eastern europeans sure are serious business when it comes to where you come from.
Of course, when your favourite pasttime is to kill the other slavs over the hill over nothing, I guess it's important to belong to the right tribe.

>> No.20556987

Nasty trorru...

Also the Balkan Wars are simple to understand, really.

>> No.20556990

Maybe i am stupid and all... But why all this V? It's a thing among the slavs? They say V a lot?

>> No.20556994

You owe me 40 years of progress you dirty squatting mongol bolshevik

>> No.20556996


Here, have a loosely translated polish saying:

"Where are 2 Poles, there are 3 opinions."

>> No.20557011

Pierdol się. Rosjanie nic nam nie są winni. Są takimi samymi ofiarami tego szaleństwa jak i my.

>> No.20557044

oh slavic europe is in modern-day iraq?

>> No.20557049


Fakt, ale to nie przeszkadza ludziom ich nienawidzić.

Poza tym, u ruskich i na Ukrainie masz Dzikie Pola.

>> No.20557057

Only with shitton of laungueges and less sand and oil.

>> No.20557061

Why do you defend the Russian scum ?

>> No.20557077

>dzikie pola
>to parcie na wschód

Po chuja, panowie, po chuja?
To wszystko bagna i stepy i bida, nie warto.

>> No.20557094

Bo nie lubię jak z kogoś polaczkowatość wychodzi. Wstyd nam przed światem przynosisz rodaku. O ile nim jesteś? Potrafisz coś po polsku chociaż powiedzieć?

>> No.20557201

Suddenly poles. Poles everywhere.
Seriously are polish people everywhere? Just waiting to surface?

>> No.20557233


Yes. And they're more butthurt about eachother than the whole rest of the world.

>> No.20557251

You really thought they moved to your country just to be cheap labour? Really?

>> No.20557272

Are poles try to take over the world?

>> No.20557277
File: 86 KB, 350x350, 134469606727.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.20557325

So... do you play any games in Poland? Or just hate russians all day?

>> No.20557360

We hate Russians all day, it is only thing on TV or newspaper. Sometimes German, French or Yank. Hate is good. We are working on converting hate into fuel.

>> No.20557364
File: 62 KB, 456x735, vonmackensen.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Race traitor culturally british slav here, loving this thread.

I have to applaud that barbarian's player for not just making a Conan clone and
>implying that there are human cultures in the setting beyond generic medieval european 'human default'.

10/10 would laugh again.

>> No.20557466
File: 179 KB, 1261x826, riddleportsblotxp2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

So OP, playing the Second Darkness Pathfinder Adventure Path? How're you enjoying it?

>> No.20557591

I'm in America, so race stuff gets real funky. I'm like half German, half Czech, but the actual percentages get really weird from 5 generations of mixing around with germans and czechs.

>> No.20557619


Try being Australian. Half of us are the really DULL version of that.

"Oh yeah, I'm Scottish/Irish."
"Oh? Irish/English!"

Every fucking time.

>> No.20557640


And the other half is mostly full blooded wog. Not that that's a bad thing.

>> No.20557650


>Mom is Irish/Polish/English/German
>Dad is Dominican
>I just tell people I'm Dominican because brown skin and america

>> No.20557698

You are polish. You might not know this but deep inside you there is a small pole. And he just wait to burst some day to spread chaos and cheap booze. You cannot do anything about this.

>> No.20557724
File: 56 KB, 225x220, dfgdfg.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.20557733

Meanwhile, we Irish are saying;

'What the fuck, Americans? You are Americans. You are not Irish; you've never even been to Ireland. You think bagpipes are Irish! Just be American, Americans, you sound so silly."

Same goes for Britfags, but in a different accent.

>> No.20557765

let's see...
I'm part Irish, part German, part French Canadian (Different enough from plain French), and very small part Native American.

>> No.20557780

But the thing is, Americans are those guys we massacred and run our casinos now. So we're everything else.

>> No.20557789

Oh. I'm also part Unknown (Probably Welsh or English). The only thing I know about that part of the family is that there's a tiny bit of Native American.

>> No.20557797


I can't stand that shit. The reason I hate it is because I knew maybe....6 people who identified as irish when I was growing up.

Suddenly, around the time I hit 19, everyone I meet (and 90% of people I've known since primary school), think that just because they've discovered alcohol, they're some small part irish.

>> No.20557807

Consider yourselves naturalized. You're culturally American - or should it be Statist? Unionist? - and the genetics don't mean a damned thing.

>> No.20557854

My ancestors came to this country from Scotland during the Civil War to slaughter the native redskins. After the war was over, they took to raping many of the breeds, and here I am today.

>> No.20557858

I can't tell if the butthurt on all sides in here is genuine butthurt, good natured ribbing, or a strange sort of trolling.

>> No.20557868

If your ancestors lived in America, and if you were born in America, you're an American.

>lol at "native American"
>implying your ancestors are more speshul because they walked here and mine came on a boat

>> No.20557892


The slavic butthurt is genuine. Everything else is good natured.

>> No.20557900

Dad Irish, Mum Polish, no differences, all is good.

>> No.20558018
File: 6 KB, 281x215, 1344958542052.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Its not hard to be polish, really.

Get drunk, steal some shit and puke into someone else`s boots all the while yelling " Kurwa kurwa ja pierdole kurwa ja pierdole".

Still I`m counting at least 3 or 4 poles in this thread what kinda.. makes me the fifth or so. Welp.

>> No.20558073

But anon, you aren't American! You're just a mongrel invader with no right to the land you exploit! Is it not obvious from seeing how you subject the noble Arabic peoples to the same treatment right now, for the sake of their wealth and lack of strength to defend themselves?

>> No.20558110

The same way that europeans are invaders in europe. Ask Neanderthals.

>> No.20558135

But anon, don't your American schools teach that there are no neandernthals? The world is only 4000 years old according to the bible, afterall! Or are you a commie homo traitor nigger? You shouldn't say such things aloud, they might hear you...

>> No.20558169

I'm having trouble discerning what this thread is about. Ethnic backgrounds? If so, Canadian with Scottish/Irish background - Blue-eyed black-haired master race reporting in.

>> No.20558176

Step it up Australians.
>Canadian, English, Scottish, Irish, Welsh, Danish, Swedish, Finnish, Norwegian, Polish, Hungarian, Romanian, Ukrainian, Bulgarian.
First generation American all up in this bitch.

>> No.20558196

Considering that "America" was not what the natives called it, yes he is an American. Whether he has a right to the land or not is irrelevant, its pretty hard to debate that the United States doesn't exist as a political entity.

Also being born in a land that your ancestors are native to doesn't make you a better person.

>> No.20558203

Not all live in America. I am still in my beautiful shithole.

>> No.20558247

You should just say:
"I'm a convict!"
"Same here!"

>> No.20558327

>Trace back family tree over 900 years
>Pure-blooded English all the way

You silly mongrels and half-breeds.

>> No.20558345

900 years of poor dentistry.
How does it feel knowing you and your descendants will never have good teeth?

>> No.20558356

Your ancestors were probably a Romano-Celtic-Saxon-Viking rape mix.

>> No.20558395

Enjoy your mutations inbred.

>> No.20558642

Let's see. Part Russian, part Belorussian, part Portuguese, part Lithuanian.. and that's all I know. Can't trace my family more than 4 generations since all the documents got destroyed during WW2
and polfags please don't be butthurtб this shit happened a long time ago, so no one cares
as a Russian I lol'd at the thread, don't really see it as offensive because everyone loves stereotypes

>> No.20558752

Greetings from the land of Lech. We are not REALLY butthurt. Being butthurt is just our tradition. Especially on September 1 (you know war and shit).

>> No.20558840

>Post this hours ago
>Just give you two shitty letters from my campaign

...Jesus, /tg/. I didn't even try.

>> No.20558867

Don't be a pathetic little bitch with control fantasies about an anonymous imageboard now OP.

>> No.20558896

>descend from german and norwegian nobles
Yep. I'm so aryan I shit reichs

>> No.20558916

Oh no, I didn't plan for this. I just wanted to share some shitty letters.

I'm just shocked.

>> No.20558950

Shocked by what?

>> No.20558956

This thread lives.

>> No.20558967

This is /tg/. Even the stupidest shit gonna be discussed here.

>> No.20558990

Congrats on being inbred? You do realize mutts are much healthier and much less subject to hereditary diseases than "pure-breeds" are, don't you?

>> No.20559009

So OP, where is your character from? Irrisen?

>> No.20559041

You do realize the "hybrid vigor" is not really an universal rule, yes? If you breed two shitty mutts, you will get a very, very shitty mutt, just because it's mutt suddenly won't improve it's genetics. By the same token, two purebreds that do not suffer any genetic disorders will almost certainly produce equally healthy offspring (random mutations etc. nonwithstanding).

>> No.20559043

I'm not asking to be hard on you or anything, but, y'know, maybe he's practicing his Taldan and speaks Skald as a native language.

Also all you people who were getting butthurt about racism are being stupid. The fact that he even write anything as a barbarian (are you playing 3.5 Pathfinder or the Pathfinder system itself btw) is something.

>> No.20559070

I enjoy doing accents and impressions, so each of the characters I play is a ridiculous caricature of some nationality or group of people.

For the majority of the year I've been getting drunk at every weekly session and roleplaying my fucking heart out as a Russian barbarian who only knows how to measure out justice, kill wizards with cooking pots, and stage puppet shows with the heads of fallen enemies.

It was to the point where sometimes I'll slip into the Russian accent if it's too soon after a session.

Now, however, I'm playing as a sheisty Irishman wizard who prefers to fasttalk his way around rather than use spells. The party doesn't know he's a wizard, only that he won't shut the fuck up.

>> No.20559127

I used to love doing accents for different characters, especially based on race. After a while I've started to consider it too cartoonish for my own tastes.

Here's a question for you guys. How easy is it to come up with a unique accent not drawn from a real-world accent? For instance maybe I want a specific accent for dwarves but don't want to do Scottish/Russian/etc etc for them, but an accent unique to their world.

>> No.20559138

Russian does not have the English W sound, so the stereotype is that they use V instead.

In the second later, the player slips up and uses articles, so the perfect stereotype of the Russian-speaking-English was ruined.

>> No.20559159

>Mother: lineage from Saudi Arabia, family immigrated to Colombia, South America, mother born in Barranquilla.
>Father: lineage from Guangzhou, China, father born in Lima, Peru, family moves to Tegucigalpa, Honduras. Chinatowns, Chinatowns fucking everywhere.

They met in college.

My pals call me Colombasian.

>> No.20559167

This can be really simple or really hard. You can for example accent specific letters, or say them longer or shorter than you should.

>> No.20559186

You are citizen of the world dude.

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