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[ERROR] No.20095316 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Hey /tg/ looooooong time lurker here, and pretty much just looking for some advice, critique and inspiration from this thread.

I'm beginning work on, pretty much at this point, a novel loosely based in the 40k universe. And pretty much at this moment I'm just working on fleshing the world and story out.

The majority of the story is taking place in pretty much Sahara/Salt Lake terrain with another good chunk taking place in Urban environments, one of which being pretty much leveled completely.

And saying loosely based in 40k I mean as in no intertwined with everything important, it's just pretty much being used as basis from the story to launch. I'm doing a lot of work to make sure every character is fleshed out and acts how they're supposed to, I'm not planning on having this be like...

"Der hur deh soldersz sturmed into deh bad guize playce and shot dem till ded"

Surprisingly I'm actually aiming for meaningful and well thought characters.

Basically some helpful imagery for what I'm asking for would be probably near-future modern war stuffs, war-torn landscapes, ragged looking soldiers, desert fighting, so on and so forth.

If anybody would really care enough I could lay out the story line and watch as you either love it with minor complaints or rip it to shreds. So um... yeah.

Also. Yes I know it's most likely not going to be published, I'm pretty much doing this on my own time for my own enjoyment.

>> No.20095660

Shameless self bump

>> No.20095685

i care little of 40K or stories but pleas ekeep bumping with them pictures.

thanks.

>> No.20095695

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2180628/Dial-carefully-Meet-Kuratas-million-dollar-robot-wei
ghs-tons-shoots-smile-controlled-iPhone.html?ITO=1490

Here's an article about some near-future tech that looks just like the one in your OP.

>> No.20095773

>>20095316
God that picture is depressing. It's sad that the image of US soldiers in the desert is so ingrained by now that it can go unquestioned as part of near future imagery.

>act how they're supposed to,
So I suppose you've been making a study of the fundamental religious ultra-authoritarian mindset that a typical 40k human would have? Their unquestioning submission to higher authority, no matter how evident its corruption?

>> No.20095990

>>20095773
The 'average' world in the Imperium varies immensely in culture, technology base, and quality of life. As long as you don't get some obvious fucking things wrong (like "Hey guys, let's not giver our pyskers over" or "FUCK TEH EMPRAH") you have a pretty wide scope on the kind of story you can write.

>> No.20095997 [DELETED] 

Perhaps some elysians will be useful

>> No.20096033

have some pics op

>> No.20096055

Btw, I would interested in seeing what you have, OP!

>> No.20096075

>> No.20096084

>> No.20096105

>> No.20096119

>> No.20096131

>> No.20096153

>> No.20096166

you know, it sounds quite cool OP, but if you alter a few things you can make it publishable, just remove the vague/mentioned 40k ties and you're set.

>> No.20096187

>>20095990
>The 'average' world in the Imperium varies immensely in culture, technology base, and quality of life. As long as you don't get some obvious fucking things wrong (like "Hey guys, let's not giver our pyskers over" or "FUCK TEH EMPRAH") you have a pretty wide scope on the kind of story you can write.

They're pretty unanimously depicted as lacking in freedom, though, and being highly religious. It's space dark ages, and you'd be hard pressed to find an atheist (or edgy fantasy semi-atheist I-don't-care-for-the-gods type) in the dark ages, just like you'd be hard pressed to find a secular democratic republic in 900s AD Europe.

>> No.20096259

>>20096187
Not so. Several books (like the 6th ed book and Dark Heresy) mention that government and way of life vary wildly between planets, and the "progressive" socities mentioned in the 6th ed book, as well as the realm of Ultramar are notable contradictions. You may interpret these worlds as a rarity, but they exist nonetheless. Furthermore on frontier worlds (of which there are many at the Imperium's borders), it is depicted as very difficult for the Imperium to exert any meaningful control.

>> No.20096280

>>20096153
C'mon OP, respond!

>> No.20096331

>> No.20096358

>> No.20096404

>> No.20096425

Op here.

>>20095773
>>20095990


And the character's are pretty much going to be at the state of questioning their faith, but not at any point where it's heretical.

"ANY DOUBT IS HERESY!!~!~11`1!"

Sue me.

I'm really just trying to write up a good story, and pretty much the people of the world pretty much have a generation that was born into the war their fighting and is rapidly running out of manpower to fight it, calling on a pretty large amount of off world volunteers.

The Planetary Government is pretty much been doing everything it can to get as much of the populous into the fight, using such methods of even stripping people's names for however long designated to be replaced by a rank and number until later notified.

In example of the main character: Lieutenant 092947

>>20096166

I'm actually going to have a tough time with that. There is a couple parts which pretty much hinge on it taking place in the 40k universe. I've tried actually to take them out, but to do so I'd pretty much just have to take the time to rip off a good chunk off of the 40k universe and just stamp it as my own with a couple of clever renaming ops.

I could possibly sit down and consider it again but it'd take a while just to adapt this story otherwise.

>>20096187

In the storyline, the planet was a flourishing agri-world and army producing planet, which actually did give freedoms to it's faithful citizens so long as they believed in followed in the Emperor. But since the burning and the war the belief has pretty much been reduced to how... let's just say how an Average American would view Christianity today.

Believe in him, but don't make him integral in conversation. Even probably at a higher level then that. But it is a certain that some people are losing faith, and I'm going to be sure to make this actually apparent in both the stories current and future installments.

>> No.20096430

>> No.20096437

OP still


>>20096259

I am going to confirm it has been a border world from the start.

>>20096280

Hi.

Oh and thanks for the pics, keep 'em coming.

And it's going to take me a while to write out the entire, well, "Before it was burnt" story if anybody is actually interested.

>> No.20096466

>>20095316
Augh, that image annoys me. They're letting the civies get too close to them.

>> No.20096476

>>20096437
I'm a neckbear through and through op, and I've got all the time in the world

>> No.20096485

>>20096259
>Not so. Several books (like the 6th ed book and Dark Heresy) mention that government and way of life vary wildly between planets,
Not at all contradicting the notion that they're usually authoritarian. And they definitely usually are, unless you assume that all the novels and RPGs and codexes and so on focus on exceptionally harsh planets instead of being representative. I could understand assuming that planets featured in the wargame are unusually crappy because that's a reasonable assumption, but that wouldn't work much for the RPGs where characters should be interacting with a stable (but imperiled) environment.

>and the "progressive" socities mentioned in the 6th ed book, as well as the realm of Ultramar are notable contradictions.
Notable exceptions to a general status. I'm not saying everything in 40k is horribly durrrrk all the time everywhere, but societies in a collapsing feudal space empire are generally not going to be ruled by western secular democratic ideals. That OP (you?) says their work is loosely based on the 40k universe doesn't exactly suggest that its characters are going to be atheist freedom fighters, does it? More likely gothic fascists, otherwise there's no point mentioning its basis in 40k because it's not really recognizable.

>Furthermore on frontier worlds (of which there are many at the Imperium's borders), it is depicted as very difficult for the Imperium to exert any meaningful control.
The Imperium doesn't exert meaningful control on most planets anywhere, it extracts its tithes and drafts and offers its support in exchange. Planetary governors control their realms as they wish, and, as we see both in general statements and specific examples, usually do so by forceful oppression, because that's what keeps a dictator in power. That's a core theme of 40k, that this is a barbaric, degenerate time when madmen rule.

>> No.20096503

>> No.20096541

>>20096425
>Believe in him, but don't make him integral in conversation. Even probably at a higher level then that. But it is a certain that some people are losing faith, and I'm going to be sure to make this actually apparent in both the stories current and future installments.

That's a problem, though, if you're trying to depict a civilization being plunged into increasing militarism and despotism. Dark times don't end religious belief. Some people can lose faith, but as the society becomes more oppressive it will head for extremes.

>> No.20096551

>>20096485
OP here.

On that middle part.

Actually you are correct, and it is going to be visible that the Imperial side in the struggle itself is becoming split between two forces, a more strict, fascist like doctrine headed by the planets council of generals, and the more benevolent parliamentary system that the governor has been trying to enforce.

While most of the story is focused on the intended main characters and such, there will be some entries focused mainly on the Governor dealing with the panel of general's undermining his power.

>> No.20096597

>>20096541

Referring to the post I just made.

Sure I can see what you're getting at. But the faith really isn't being pushed more the military drive. And while some may become more extreme in their beliefs, sure. The majority of the populace is kind of on a slow decline and is defiantly not adopting an "Emperor first" attitude.

>> No.20096605

>>20096541
(same person here)
Of course, it's fine for your story to focus on the people losing faith in the system, because you'd want characters relatable to your (hopefully) not hyper-authoritarian reader. But it's not sensible for the society as a whole to be losing faith in conventional beliefs. More likely that they'd rail against impiety and deviance and outsiders.

>> No.20096636

>>20096485
40k is grim, yes, and it is dark, yes. But what we think that makes it grim and dark is up to wide interpretation. I don't see how my view of the 40k setting is any less contradictory than yours. (not OP by the way)
>And they definitely usually are, unless you assume that all the novels and RPGs and codexes and so on focus on exceptionally harsh planets instead of being representative.
There is no statement in DH, RT or the 6th ed rulebook that the common government of a planet is, by nature, a harsh dictatorship. In fact, DH goes so far as to say that oppressive planets like Sephris Secondus are extreme in the oppression and brutality.
>Notable exceptions to a general status. I'm not saying everything in 40k is horribly durrrrk all the time everywhere, but societies in a collapsing feudal space empire are generally not going to be ruled by western secular democratic ideals.
Secular? Probably not something mentioned publicly to the tithe collectors, but definitely a possibility for some planets. I don't see how "brootal, oppresive tyranny errywhere" is a prerequisite for 40k stories. That is a really narrow way to approach writing fiction in it, and you kinda miss out on some of the universe's potential.
>The Imperium doesn't exert meaningful control on most planets anywhere, it extracts its tithes and drafts and offers its support in exchange. Planetary governors control their realms as they wish, and, as we see both in general statements and specific examples, usually do so by forceful oppression
The codices and the main rule book don't really make any general statement on how worlds are run, or how qual. of life is. And no number of specific examples can prove that Imperial worlds as a whole are oppressive and brutal dictatorships.

>> No.20096806

OP here with another shameless self-bump.

>> No.20096821

>> No.20096827

>>20096821

>> No.20096840

>>20096636
>There is no statement in DH, RT or the 6th ed rulebook that the common government of a planet is, by nature, a harsh dictatorship. In fact, DH goes so far as to say that oppressive planets like Sephris Secondus are extreme in the oppression and brutality.

>To be a man in such times... is to live in the cruelest and most bloody regime imaginable.

Pretty sure that appears in all those books.

>And no number of specific examples can prove that Imperial worlds as a whole are oppressive and brutal dictatorships.
They sure as hell don't prove the 'typical Imperial world is an okay place' fanon.

>> No.20096849

>>20096636
How about the fact that all 3 books you mention have the "the Imperium is the most bloodthirsty and cruel regime imaginable" bit?

I mean, its hard to imagine a civilization that is not just bloodthirsty and cruel but THE MOST BLOODTHIRSTY AND CRUEL IMAGINABLE, that is still a cool place to live.

Unless its Kharntopia.

>> No.20096900

>>20096840

>To be a man in such times... is to live in the cruelest and most bloody regime imaginable.
Notice it said "a man." Not "a man in the Imperium". Humans live in countless other minor empires (such as the Tau's) as well. And I don't think it would be logical to say that the dudes who are in the aristocracy or live on paradise worlds are having it hard. I'd say in this case that it would refer to the general state of the galaxy, not just a human who lives in the Imperium. That little blurb also goes on to say a number of other statements that can't be really taken literally either, such as the fact that "only war" happens in the 41st millenium. Which is kind of ridiculous, considering people do shit in 40k other than fight each other.
>They sure as hell don't prove the 'typical Imperial world is an okay place' fanon.
Any number of specific worlds, whether complete paradises or horrible shitholes, don't prove the general state of an Imperial world either way. I don't know where you're going with this statement.

>> No.20096909

>>20096849
Would you really argue that living in the Imperium is worse than living under the Dark Eldar? Or Orks? Or Slaugh? Or most of the other Xeno races?

>> No.20096940

Op here...

I'd really appreciate if the thread wasn't derailed on this conversation seeing how it's less and less pertaining to the main topic. As interesting as the conversation is.

Just kind of popping in to say that.

>> No.20096958

>> No.20096963

>> No.20096967

>>20096900
>Notice it said "a man." Not "a man in the Imperium". Humans live in countless other minor empires (such as the Tau's) as well. And I don't think it would be logical to say that the dudes who are in the aristocracy or live on paradise worlds are having it hard. I'd say in this case that it would refer to the general state of the galaxy, not just a human who lives in the Imperium. That little blurb also goes on to say a number of other statements that can't be really taken literally either, such as the fact that "only war" happens in the 41st millenium. Which is kind of ridiculous, considering people do shit in 40k other than fight each other.

The most contrived evasions there. The statement is surrounded by references to the Imperium. Even if the statement refers to other empires, it is a generalization of human condition in the 41st millennium and also includes the Imperium. These are dark times for humanity. The nobles and aristocrats aren't subject to the cruelty, but they live in the cruelest and most bloody regime imaginable. They perpetuate it.

Yes, it's not a specific, literal statement. It's an assessment of the state of civilization in M41. The main concern of government is the potential for war (see picture; dark heresy core book). Technology is waning. Common human spirit is largely absent. Science is gone. Progress and understanding are rare. Humanity as a whole is in a sorry state. Again, not saying exceptions don't exist, and you're of course free to imagine the universe however you want, but "the Imperium's actually a decent place most of the time" flies in the face of pretty much everything written about it ever, and shouldn't be posited as "The Truth".

>> No.20096978

>> No.20096998

>> No.20096999

>> No.20097003

>> No.20097006

>>20096940
If the main topic was interesting, then people wouldn't derail it to another topic.

>> No.20097022

>>20097006

Why thank you.

That was very nice. :>

>> No.20097038

>> No.20097070

remember to make tanks look like tanks and not a giant box with a turret (Leman Russ) or a tank hull that someone forgot to put a turret on (Land Raider)

>> No.20097092

>> No.20097097

>>20097070

Considering the main characters are pretty much in a Mobile Infantry company, with a modern look to them. The designs of their vehicles are most likely going to be sleek yet functional.

>> No.20097116

>>20097070
Remember to not spend lots of words describing what your fucking tanks look like. Call them tanks, let the reader decide what they look like based on the atmosphere of the book. Anything else is wasting your time on the exact kind of needless detail that a fan turned author would likely be susceptible to.

>> No.20097119

>>20097070
Or... don't waste words describing a goddamned tank. Unless the design of the tank is somehow integral to the story, I guess... but it's hard to see how it could be.

>> No.20097130

>>20097116
>>20097119
don'tdescribethetanksmind

>> No.20097144

Mother always said angels were watching. I don't think I ever believed her, even when I was very young- not with the nightly boom of the big guns and the daily tales of fresh slaughter. But my sister and I knew better than to puncture the conviction that kept her going after the recruitment team came to our village and our father walked out, head bowed and gun in hand, to save our lives. I've never been sure which of the many factions he joined, but it didn't matter. Angels or no, he wouldn't be coming back.

Of course, he could only delay what had to happen. Mother clung ever tighter to the scraps that she called relics around her neck, and told us how the angels would come down from the sky in a blaze of light and everything would be fixed. And I watched my little sister, taught her how to fight for herself and to never, ever leave our sight. She never knew what our father looked like, so on the long nights when the bombs fell like constant thunder I'd tell her about him, tell her that he was out there, probably a sergeant already with a lasgun in hand and an ever-longer string of victories to his name.

There were no angels when the troops came back- different ones, one of the factions that called themselves loyalists. Mother sent us running into the woods and went to face them alone, still clutching at the tin pieces around her neck as she said goodbye. We stopped at the top of the hill and saw the black smoke curling up from where our village used to be, and I held my sister to me and told her that we couldn't go back and that I'd stay with her as we made our way to safety.

>> No.20097150

> The most contrived evasions there. The statement is surrounded by references to the Imperium. Even if the statement refers to other empires, it is a generalization of human condition in the 41st millennium and also includes the Imperium. These are dark times for humanity. The nobles and aristocrats aren't subject to the cruelty, but they live in the cruelest and most bloody regime imaginable. They perpetuate it.
But the statement is met by numerous contradictions. It is simply too ambiguous, and too open to interpretation in what it means. What the "cruelest and bloodiest regime imaginable" looks like depends on well, who's imagining it. And I could similarly argue that being a human living under Chaos, the Orks, Eldar etc. are worse than being a human in the Imperium. I'm pretty sure despite the amount of warfare the Imperium engages in, the Orks far outpace them in conflict.
> "the Imperium's actually a decent place most of the time" flies in the face of pretty much everything written about it ever, and shouldn't be posited as "The Truth".
I'm arguing that the Imperium is about as shit as many times as it is a good place to live in. With all the variation in worlds given to us by the source books, this really isn't a radical conclusion to make. And I fail to see how this contradicts the feel of 40k in anyway.
>The main concern of government is the potential for war (see picture; dark heresy core book).
But note that most worlds are not engaged in direct warfare themselves. And again, there still isn't anything in the passage that dictates the most worlds have to be brutal dictatorship regimes because of it.
>Common human spirit is largely absent.
Explain.
>

>> No.20097155

>>20097144

There wasn't any safety out there, only mile after mile of war. We stole from abandoned farmhouses and kept to the woods, watching for smoke in the distance and avoiding anything that looked like the military. It was weeks later, as we were scavenging in a village Emperor knows how many hundreds of miles from our old home, that we were swept up in a tide of bloodied, half-crazed refugees from one of the great cities, and as we walked along, keeping our heads down in that great crowd, I turned to my sister to find she was gone.

From that point on my childhood was searching. I stayed with the mass of shattered people, searching endlessly among them for her face, searching for days until tanks appeared and the people broke like a wave and scattered. The unlucky were conscripted while I ran with the rest, ignoring the shots and screams behind us. When at last I stopped there were so few of us, and after looking at every face and asking useless questions I grabbed some provisions and ran from them. This time I couldn't keep away from the people; I headed for the big cities on my impossible search, ducking and running at the sound of gunfire, proving myself among scavenger gangs with acts of bravery and violence. Within a year I had killed my first man, putting a blade through his neck as he lunged at me, and my desperate, wild knife swing earned me the pistol with which I killed my second, third, and fourth.

>> No.20097161

>>20097155

It was then that the angels came from the sky, like mother had always said they would. The gang I was running with scattered as the night sky came apart in a blaze of golden fire, but I knew what was happening and I'd done enough running. I wanted answers. They stood, two of them, watching the boy before them tensed up with a pistol in one hand and a knife in the other, telling them that they were late, far too late, but that if they could take him to his sister, right now, he could forgive them. Then one of them stepped forward and before I could even aim the gun something hit me and I slid to the floor.

>> No.20097171

>>20097161

I'm coming home. Those familiar moons are hanging on the horizon as the craft rushes, burning, through the atmosphere. Many years have gone by and I have changed, but the memories are all intact- sharper, if anything, than when I was a child. It's as if I can take the images in my head and cut them out, turning them this way and that and seeing every detail that escaped me back then. My sister's face, in the moment before she disappeared, appears before me, and I can mentally age her. She'll be older now, much older, and I wonder if she could still be alive down there. In this universe all things are possible. The earth below is coming up fast and I raise my boltgun, checking the magazine and silently going through the litanies one after another. My sister could be alive down there and once, long ago, I would have scoured heaven and earth to find her. But not anymore. Things are different.

Because I'm an angel now.

>> No.20097175

>>20097130
>>20097119
>>20097116

That may be a slight problem for me, because once I actually do start getting down to writing I want the image I'm setting out to be clear, but inviting to the reader's own mind.

But I do tend to have difficulty with that, with either, in my opinion over or under detailing surroundings and objects. It's a problem I've had pretty much the entire time I've been writing but I've never had anybody really confront me on it.

>> No.20097183

>>20097150
>I'm arguing that the Imperium is about as shit as many times as it is a good place to live in.
Ouch. 50% of the population is having an OK time in the setting for which the word grimdark was coined? I can't dig that.

>> No.20097187

>>20097097
Functional first. Why is it sleek? Because its better armored? Good logic, no make sure that there's no shot traps, flat faces or weakpoints.
How the hell are the crew going to use it? Does it have tow hooks, light, vision ports, crew stowage, adequate weapons? Track guards? Does it look like it can get dirty? Is it dirty? Well, if its actually being used, YES, its dirty! Fuel spills, mud, dirt, grime, chipped paint; tanks get dirty fast. Make sure they aren't fragile. Also, comms gear.
Leopard 1 because of sexy.
Oh, and for the love of fuck, PUT FOLIAGE OR CAMO NETTING ON THE TANK. It helps!

>> No.20097203

>>20097187
Um... this is good advice for someone who's drawing tanks. But where does it fit into a novel?

>> No.20097217

>>20097130
It seems I disagree.
Whatever you do, PLAN IT OUT.
Consistency is gold! Have it make sense!
And if you're in a military setting, good fucking god you're going to be doing technical things to describe it.
Oh, and I'm not reading all of the thread, I just really like tanks, and want to share my love.
M60A3's are beautiful bastards, aren't they?

>> No.20097237

>>20095316

>>and pretty much just looking
>>on, pretty much at this point
>>And pretty much at this moment
>>taking place in pretty much
>>being pretty much leveled
>> just pretty much being
>> I'm pretty much doing this

And this is just in your opening post, it looks like you've used it pretty heavily in your replies to this thread too. I hope you've got a good editor, OP.

>> No.20097245

>>20097203
Fuck if I know.
If you're talking about tanks, and you want to get technical, I think I can pretend to be your guy.
Leopard 2. Because FUCK YEAH SWEDEN!

>> No.20097252

>>20097150
>With all the variation in worlds given to us by the source books, this really isn't a radical conclusion to make.
You mean like in the Dark Heresy material, where they give us an endless succession of horribly oppressive, perpetually violent systems of rule, some of which are noted to be exceptionally horrible, but most of which aren't?

>And I fail to see how this contradicts the feel of 40k in anyway.
Maybe you should read more 40k. Picture related.

The picture isn't my ideal version of 40k, though. I, for one, prefer older material in the 40k setting, which presents Imperial cultures as invariably being what we would consider backwards, but doesn't make such a show of it. Dark ages life is normal life for one who lives in it. On Necromunda, you grow up young or not at all. That's just the way of things. And so on. It's a big universe, but most people stay where they started, never see the true horrors, and just deal with the constant inconveniences of being a space serf.

>> No.20097253

Don't mind me, just posting sexiest tanks ever.

>> No.20097255

>>20097187

So far as in vehicle inspiration, MBT's I'm probably going for a Leopard 2 look. (to be honest I'm surprised you hit the nail on the head)

And the APC/IFV they'd be using would be some what of a mix between the British Warrior and Stryker.

It's a cross country unit which is going to be crossing a lot of ground in a short distance, so they're packing as much as they can while still being able to operate in any scenario they could perceive, meaning their also packing extra fuel, repair equipment and other necessities for a mobile formation.

And as to camo netting, I mean of course. What's a mobile unit without a good amount of camo netting eh?

>> No.20097261

>>20097245
And before someone asks (Actually, I think this is just a clever excuse to talk about tanks more) yes, that is a FUCK YEAH SWEDEN, because as you can see by the filename, its a Strv 122, which is what the Swedes call their Leopard 2's, which they got from the Germans.

>> No.20097283

Really, really, don't describe the tanks in detail. It will maybe make your book appeal to people who want to endlessly debate science fiction tank design on the internet, it will absolutely make your book a shitty book. It's okay if you have Sergeant Brickchin rattling off some technical statistics as part of his schtick, but you don't need to be mentioning mechanical details as part of your prose, like, ever, unless characters are directly interacting with whatever part.

>> No.20097286

>>20097237
OP here

I'm just doing as best as I can to get enough information out with out drowning you guys, I'd rather not be pouring out details, I'm just trying to get the basic idea forward.

>> No.20097295

>>20097261
>>20097245
It is unwise to speak the name of the devil, or else he might appear in the thread.

I speak of course of the Swede. Such grotesque untermensch do not bear mention.

>> No.20097296

>>20097253
Norwegian Leopard 1's must disagree.
>>20097255
Now, problem. Things like fuel, spares and repair equipment aren't carried with a formation when its on the move, because they're vulnerable. You know what carries the fuel? A big, unarmored fuel truck. Which is a liability.
Oh, wait, you meant extra fuel on the vehicles themselves? That hasn't been done since...wait, actually I'm pretty sure the Russians still do it. Go for it.

>> No.20097328

>>20097217
always preferred the T-72 myself, dat low profile and kontakt-5

>> No.20097358

>>20097252
>they give us an endless succession of horribly oppressive, perpetually violent systems of rule, some of which are noted to be exceptionally horrible,
Cyrpian's gate is sure violent and oppressive.
And Reth.
And Dreah.
and Landunder.
And Spectoris.
>Maybe you should read more 40k. Picture related.
Maybe you should stop making assumptions. Unless you want a comparison of 40k shit we own?

>> No.20097367

>>20097283

If I do go into detail on say a tank it'd probably be, unless, yes for example the characters themselves were going into the internals, a description of it's appearance.

>>20097296

I didn't plan on just having them go all out right off the start barreling across the landscape. There is actual refueling and retooling stations that are going to be on the Companies path towards their objectives.

But none the less they're carrying a good bit of fuel with them encase it would ever be needed.

>> No.20097374

>>20097283
personally when i write sci-fi I always like to make details regarding equipment, even if I dont put them down I find it helps to maintain consistency but thats just me

>> No.20097455

>>20097283
Not OP, but the guy who's in love with tanks.
I know that, what I'm arguing is that when people do interact with them, its best to have the technical stuff well thought out and consistent.
And, technical details can seem poetic.
"The deep roar of turbine engines grumbled between the trees near his position, as the armored hulks of the tank platoon stalked the night. Through his infrared goggles, he saw glimpses of sloped prows and protruding gun barrels tracking glimpsed targets. A gun position hidden in a nest of foliage spat fire, striking the lead tank. Light flashed as the ERA tiles detonated, blowing personal gear off with a thunderous crack. Responding in unison, the platoon swung their guns to the target. Within armored hulls, gun breaches slammed home, and 140mm HESH rounds tore out of muzzles and barraged the position like the hammer of an angry god. The light from the explosion lit his foxhole bright as day, and he ducked to avoid the tanks attention himself."
Okay, so that wasn't a good example of technical stuff, but I felt like writing it. Sue me.

>> No.20097515

>>20097374
It's great to have it in your mind, but it's terrible to ever for a second mention any technical detail that isn't truly relevant. If a character steps into an APC, you don't need to describe anything specific. The space is dark and crowded, the seats are uncomfortable. The squad squints at the light pouring in the doorway.

Implications build up over time. That the space is crowded will mean the seats are narrow as well as uncomfortable. If one character's knees touch those of the guy across from him, then you get more of an idea of how close the space is.
If at another point in the novel you mention that squads are six strong, then the reader will know without you having to tell them that since the tank fits a squad, a squad is six, and the space is so densely packed, fits exactly one squad of six, their gear, and all their discomfort and dread.

>> No.20097561

>>20097515

Op here

And since a good amount of the story is going to be taking place in the back of an APC, I'm most likely going to go into a decent amount of detail, seeing as how I'm going to want to make the space have an almost homely feel to the characters near the stories end.

>> No.20101178

>>20097561
OP, it's brilliant so far, i still don't see why it has to be 40k though...

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