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[ERROR] No.20049718 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Stories of Badassery : The Thread
Let loose the tales that clutter your mind on an endless loop, replaying glorious moments of campaigns past. Whether it's something you've done, seen, heard or smelled, I want to hear about it.

All systems welcome.

>> No.20049750

that second frame is clearly not the people soaking that dude

>> No.20049928

Both a bump for OP and bit of advice: your meant to share a bit of your own relevant content first.

>> No.20050000

>4E generic setting
>We get into a battle with some archers in a broken-down village, they have hidden snipers everywhere.
>Entire team is bloodied, and the party's healer (a bard) is currently failing his death saving throws.
>We stabilise him, and regroup behind an upturned cart.
>Most of the team argue tactics as arrows pierce ever further into the cart.
>Half-Orc fighter picks up the bard's lute, grabs my character ( a Gnomish wizard) and tells me to make the party invisible and sneak us away.
>Says he will provide a distraction.
>He dives from cover to cover, getting ever closer, and begins brokenly playing the lute singing a grunty song about how the archers were cowardly cunts.
>The party escapes, and the DMasks us to leave the room for a moment whilst he runs the rest of the encounter with the Fighter.
>We get called in a few minutes later, the fighter's player looks dejected and the party is informed that the sounds of fighting die away.
>We take a rest, then risk returning and discover the Fighter pinned to a wooden wall surrounded by arrows.
>In one hand he has a dead orc by the throat.
>The other arm is wrapped tightly around the lute, holding it to his chest.

>And he died grinning.

According to the DM, he found the archers in a building and pushed a bunch out of the windows, then jumped out and curb stomped them to death. One got up and fired a few arrows at him. One pinned him through his shoulder, and he played dead for a moment. When the guy got close enough, he grabbed his throat and sustained a grab until the Orc suffocated.
On the next turn the Half-Orc followed.

Fucking hell Targrin, we shall not see your like again.

>> No.20050103

>Dark Hershey
>Half of my face was blown off last session, have it stapled together by a half-competent guardsman medic
>Infiltrating a scummer bar to rescue our informant
>I don't speak the local dialect, our scum talks my way in by pretending I am her boyfriend
>Our informant is about to get shanked by a crowd of 20 ganger scum
>Very outnumbered
>Decide to roll an unskilled intimidate check
>GM laughs, asks me to roll.
>Natural 1
>My arbitrator screams completely unintelligibly so hard that he rips the staples out of his face, sending blood flying everywhere as he stomps his way towards the informant and grabs him by the throat.
>GM notes that atleast three people in the bar have shit themselves.
>Drag informant kicking and screaming out of the bar, ganger scum who were about to kill him feel really bad for him.

good times

>> No.20050137


Whilst that is good advice, I only started playing 4E a month ago and have no other experience of tabletop gaming beyond that and the Battle for Macragge 40k boxset my uncle got for me when I was 16.

I guess one cool story is the time my Halfling Rogue ran across the heads of my entire team and landed on a hulking zombie's head where he emptied a bottle of an ethanol-like substance over the bugger before diving off into a pool of water like a stealthy porpoise.

The next time the party wizard used flaming hands on it, the zombie's head burst into flames and it took ongoing damage which eventually killed it.

In this same encounter he also Lassoed a beholder and hung underneath it stabbing away at it's undercarriage whilst it bucked and span trying to throw him off.

When it died he stealth porpoised away again.


>> No.20050157 [DELETED] 

>have a heavy weapons guys in our Star Wars party
>he was named Lord Bearfucker

His achievements include, but are not limited to:
>knocking out a Tauntaun with a headbutt
>killing 3 Jedi with a chair
>destroying a space station inhabited by pirates by fucking with the propulsion controls and making it fall into a star
>succeeding in a ridiculously high strength check that enabled him to pick up and throw a landspeeder at an enraged Rancor
>stopping a Starfighter from taking off by PUNCHING THE FUCKING ENGINES

>> No.20050168

Pathfinder game, single-session campaign because the GM didn't know where to take it with people in our group acting retarded.

Group of four of us, I've told stories from this to /tg/ before. Thing is, so much shit happened in the span of 6 hours it was hilarious.

Anyway, apart from a female human barbarian, a pansy-ass idiot of a halfling rogue, and me being an old-ass human ranger, one member of the party was a dwarf paladin. The rest of us, in response to blatant cheating on the part of the rogue during char creation, had shamelessly given ourselves 3 18s for base-stats to keep up with his 3 18s and 2 16s.

The paladin, however, honest-to-goodness just rolled on the PathGuy chargen until he got an 18 and rolled with it. Upon hearing how underpowered he was compared to everyone else he automatically hated the hell out of his character.

Shockingly it turned out to be the best PC out of all of us. This player always played retarded characters and didn't contribute much to games, but because he was dead-set on killing this dorf he actively charged into combat against skeletal giants and hordes of undead.

He got frustrated with how he was somehow surviving dozens of orcs and goblins and shit, so when the GM set us up with "leave the mountain fortress because there's an army of goblins behind you," the paladin just stood his ground at the gate:

"I'm staying back. I'll buy you time."

He was never heard from again, and replaced with a much less effective dwarven fighter.

Here's to you, Unknown Paladin. You were the best of us.

>> No.20050313 [DELETED] 

The Adventures of Lord Bearfucker

>Heavy Weapons guy in a Star Wars game

Achievements include, but are not limited to:

>knocking out a Tauntaun by headbutting it
>beating 3 Jedi knights to death with a chair
>destroying an entire spacestation filled with scum and villainy by knocking it out of orbit and into a star
>passed a ridiculously high strength check that allowed him to throw a landspeeder at an enraged Rancor
>stopped a fugitive escaping in a starship by PUNCHING THE FUCKING ENGINES

>> No.20050331

The Adventures of our Star Wars groups' only Heavy Weapons guy: Lord Bearfucker

Achievements include, but are not limited to:

>knocking out a Tauntaun by headbutting it
>beating 3 Jedi knights to death with a chair
>destroying an entire spacestation filled with scum and villainy by knocking it out of orbit and into a star
>passed a ridiculously high strength check that allowed him to throw a landspeeder at an enraged Rancor
>stopped a fugitive escaping in a starship by PUNCHING THE FUCKING ENGINES

>> No.20050345

D&D 4e. Players were playing a city-based game, where they were a child thief and some cohorts hired to protect him by his wealthy refugee sister.

The players had recently stolen a shardmind (another player character) from someone's basement. As the player played the shardmind as still learning how to talk, the players had no idea what it was, and wanted some answers. So they set off to the local mage's college to find someone who could tell them, and the best thing they were able to find was the address and residence of the college's resident "Master of Astral Projection and Inter-Planar Communication." Having no other leads, they decided to give the guy a ring.

The wizard had gone mad, as wizards are wont to do, because of plot. However, the players didn't know this, and were perfectly content to sit in his atrium in a designated waiting area until the doors shut, magically locked, and the room started filling up with a deadly red mist that ate Death Saving Throws.


>> No.20050355

Between screams along the lines of "OH FUCK" and "WE'RE GOING TO DIE, PELOR FUCK," the child thief looked for hidden doors as the mist rapidly encroached on the players. He found one, opened it, and the party dove through, running up the set of spiral stairs behind it without much thought.

Reaching the top of the stairs as the mist rose behind them, they found themselves in a tiny room with a single door. Busting it down, the party was suddenly in a scorched, desolate hellscape, a cross between the Martian surface and the top of an active volcano, with red mist slowly rolling in on all sides of them and no visible avenue of escape. The surrounding area had several dilapidated ruined buildings and a single statue, its finger pointed up into the dark red sky. This was a shard of the Nine Hells, which the wizard trapped in his house for his research.

After running desperately amongst the buildings for a good while assembling clues as the mist encroached, they finally figured out there was a single-square wide elevator hidden underneath the statue that lead to a singular point high in the sky. Apparently, this was their ticket out. The mist was close now, and as it closed in on them they knew they would have to economize on time if everyone was to escape.

This was when I decided to have the ethereal monsters that could shift 12 squares burst out of the mist and assault the party.


>> No.20050380

A story I've told a few times before, but here goes:

>Need to speak to a group of mindflayers to gather info
>Get lost in caverns, find random Kobold and convince him to lead us to said mindflayer base
>Oh, by the by, there are 500 of the psychic fuckers
>We get taken to the elder brain, ask it how to control this corrupted artifact that was pinning worlds together
>Surprise surprise, elder brain doesn't want to help us and just wants the artifact for itself
>Which it now knows we have, thanks to reading our minds
>Fuck, we need to run
>DM informs us that anywhere we teleport to the mindflayers will be able to follow
>Anywhere? Perfect
>We zap to a colony of about 15 white dragons we had established an uneasy peace with several sessions ago
>DM's face is pure astonishment as we convince the dragons to fight the mindflayers with us
>Nearly all of whom teleport behind us within seconds

The DM at this point actually had to take a break so he could work up some arithmetic tables for the massive war, but he was grinning the whole damn time.


>> No.20050408

The party decided to send the child thief up first with the shardmind that seemed intent on protecting him (as the child was size small), followed by the party healer.

The last two were a changeling assassin and a dwarf fighter. The dwarf fighter's player wasn't really into roleplaying, he never had been, and had a really tough time getting into character. But he saw the advancing mist, clustered around them with but two squares of clearance, and did what he had to.

Declaring an attack against the changeling who was just about to open her mouth to protest, the dwarf bullrushed her for nonlethal damage onto the elevator, forcing her up into the sky and to safety. This was the last time she saw the dwarf, as he turned to face the mist as his player spent his only action point, sending the dwarf charging into the mist to kill the creatures that lay within, to his literal dying breath.

As the life drained from the dwarf, he saw, in his full bearded glory, Moradin high and large over his head. Smiling the firm and satisfied smile of a father who knows his son has done right by the world, Moradin extended the haft of his hammer from the clouds. The dwarf took the haft in his hands, and ascended into the heavens.

To this day, my players panic a little bit when I pull out my red pens. Nothing good is ever drawn in red.

>> No.20050414

Alright, I'll just get my boasting glasses out. NOW LET ME TELL YOU A STORY ABOUT FUCKING DEATHWATCH, /tg/.

Just before my Kill-team went on a terror/sabotage mission to a world that had been completely invaded by the tau, my customchapterdontsteal Assault Marine, Anselm, got into a pissing match with the Ultramarine Devastator Bellerophon over stains on honor. It was really just a matter of kill-stealing during the last mission that nearly got Anselm turned to a pile of mush by scattered fire from a heavy bolter.

>> No.20050418

>Party in brutal last stand against the law in the Dwarf's Mansion.
>Ogre pounding the door down, sharpshooters surrounding the property.
>Big Bad Evil Constable shouting orders to surrender from outside.
>Work with party to stack casks of fine dwarven brew against the door they're trying to break down.
>Wait for the first spinter that allows sunlight into the mountainhome away from home.
>Ignite the brandy bomb!
>HUGE explosion, masonry and chunks of ogre battering rams rain down.
>Dwarf has rage, have to roll against it. Fail, hard.
>Angrymode, Aged, Necromancer dwarf raises his Blunderbuss.
>Get 19 points of damage with single rifle shot. Which is a HUGE amount for this system. INstagibs BBEG's head.
>Get shot, retreat inside, Escape using epic disguises... Nothing else compared

>> No.20050429


So the Deathwatch landed on this planet in a stealth-cargo crate and the Devastator is the Team Leader. He thought this made him everyone's boss and he started throwing orders like he was some sort of badass. Anselm however smelled an opportunity to scare the populace (the Chapter favored terror-campaigns) so he slipped off from the rest of the Kill-team with a stummer and gruesomely murdered a major tau sympathizer in the middle of the night.

They're not Night Lords shut up.

A psychic Inquisitor who was backing us up relayed this info to the Kill-team so they could know their homicidal AM wasn't dead or anything, but Bellerophon apparently perceived this as an escalation of the pissing match. Figuring it won't do, he did what Anselm did and went out without telling anyone. Lacking any stealth skills at all he went on a march several kilometers out of the city limits to attack the tau base.

Unfortunately it didn't go so well as he got ganged up on by a Crisis Suit squad that vaporized his foot. He escaped, having alerted the tau to the presence of Astartes and got back to a location where he was then picked up.

During an attempt to survey the damage and perform sabotage, the tau ambushed the Kill-team in the sewer with a large group of pathfinders, fire warriors and a Crisis Commander. Anselm flipped his shit at the fact that Space Marines were now likely to die when the tau sent an extermination force for us, as they knew where we were, so he ran back and punched the tits off the Devastator.


>> No.20050982

Oh fuck are we back? I was playing Space Marine. Anyway.

Bellerophon was unrepentant, unfortunately, in spite of being socked in the face repeatedly and yelled at for being stupid. According to him, there was no way Space Marines could go undetected so the mission objective of "REMAIN UNDETECTED FOR AS LONG AS POSSIBLE" apparently was bullshit to him.

Fuck him, I spent that XP on Agility and Stealth advances for nothing I guess.

Needless to say Belle and Anselm weren't talking. The Kill-team split up to run in opposite directions, with the Tactical Marine taking the squad of serfs the Devastator had arbitrarily brought along to safety. Anselm flew the Land Speeder the Team had requisitioned with everyone else onboard, including one medevac'd Devastator sans a foot.

The pun machine OOC was not letting the foot-thing go.


>> No.20051006


After an insane chase through what was essentially the streets of New York with Hammerheads at practically every corner, the Kill-team lost the tau and Anselm decided to fucking ram the Speeder into one of the upper-stories of a noble spire.

Unfortunately, the PDF's big-whigs were collaborating with the tau, and sent a flight of Valkyries and Vultures after the Marines.
The Valkyries fucking wrecked the area the Speeder had put down in, and the thing blew up. All the while I was hearing nothing but how I should have parked in a garage that may/may not have existed.

Fucking Ultramarines.


>> No.20051011


In and out of character I was fucking pissed by this point. My buttmad was showing at the ~1.5K XP that went into preparing for this mission and making my character not the raging sore thumb for the sneaking-mission. I figured, “fuck it, I’m a raging testosterone-monster, if I’m gonna burn Fate this mission I’m gonna have fun doing it.”

THIS. Everything that follows is what made this the best mission ever. Most of it took place over the course of a single session, but because I went off on a one-player thing here I got second priority while everyone else was herping about.

As a Valkyrie propped itself up to the hole in the building the Speeder’s entry had made, Anselm started screaming like a maniac and charged it. In the process he knocked everyone aboard the Valkyrie out and sent a dozen storm troopers flailing to their deaths 50 stories below. In this anger-induced charge Anselm managed to cut his way through into the cockpit, reducing the pilot and co-pilot to a steaming gory soup.

(Out of character Belle’s player decided he’d try to get back at me I guess, since he had IC justification here) The Devastator used a missile launcher (I think it was a launcher, could be he just started firing his HB) to hit the Valkyrie Anselm was aboard. The Assault Marine gave him that, and just cut his way out and took flight on his jump pack. He climbed up a couple stories and broke into yet another office, and perched there in waiting.


>> No.20051025


I don’t like that jump packs in DW can let you fly for a short duration. It’s not a jetpack, it’s only supposed to be used to leap across the battlefield. But whatever, I used that feature anyway.

When a new flight of Valkyries came by supported by Vultures, Anselm dropped down on top of a Vulture and cut his way into the canopy. The goal was to toss out the pilots and try to fit in there, although I was unaware of constraints for Astartes using non-Astartes vehicles and humans using Space Marine vehicles. Anselm ended up killing the crew and leapt to another Vulture while the Valkyries offloaded more troops. This time, while the gunship jinked left and right in a desperate effort to dislodge the black-clad freak clinging to it, Anselm tore the canopy open and held a melta-bomb out to the pilot.

“Do what I say or I blow you up with this.”

The pilots became very compliant then. A thunderstorm and heavy rain had blown in during the fight, which prompted me to set my playing to Two Steps From Hell the rest of this mission. Anselm ordered the crew to blow up the Valkyries, and sure enough given they were facing Intimidation Tests rolled against a modified Skill Characteristic of 112, they obeyed.

With that dealt with, Anselm then demanded they give him a hand-held vox or whatever they had available so he could start spewing threats at the PDF commanders in spite of the noise from his jump pack and the Valkyrie’s engines.

brb log-rummaging. Gotta find the spur-of-the-moment Araghast speech Anselm gave.


>> No.20051042

Hey Staffen, tell them about the time I disarmed the warboss.

>> No.20051065

In a minute, Bills. That pun still haunts me to this day.


Here we go. I don’t know of Space Marines using the words “whore” and “mistress” in this manner, but I was adlibbing like crazy.

"Know me and know death, disloyal whores! I am Knight-Brother Anselm, Lord of Silen, bane of Tau, slayer of Tyranids! Death has grasped me and I have made it my mistress!
“You stand against he who spat in the face of the greatest xeno-atrocities and destroyed them from within themselves!
“You face damnation! To deny the God-Emperor is to meet the executioner's axe! Surrender and repent, and you may yet live!"

(The previous mission Anselm had gained fame and awards for leaping into the mouth of a tyranid Norn Queen in order to blow its otherwise-impenetrable form from within. Okay, he actually got swallowed trying to jam a giant bomb into its maw, but still.)

I then rolled Intimidate in the hopes that I’d be able to frighten the PDF into surrender or something. It was a long-shot but I did it anyway. A sort of “I warned you” kind of thing for later.

Rolled pretty crappy. Didn’t even meet my base-Strength characteristic on the Test, though it was still a moderate success of something like 3 Degrees. The opposed Roll was, like, 45-ish so I figured, “fuck, with all modifiers included that probably failed.”

There was a pause then, partly because the GM had gotten everyone into combat in the main group, and the other Marine who’d split off when we first ran like roaches was apparently doing fucking hilariously awesome shit of his own. After the GM got back to me it was revealed this delay had been in real-time in-game, for the people on the other end of the line had been so terrified by what Anselm was screeching they had to pull some intern in from the hall to tell me to stop being a jerk.

>> No.20051076


Anselm didn’t get this though, and figured “well they wanna fuck with me they’ll get fucked hard”. He ordered the Vulture to strafe a battery of Hydras that were firing on the rest of the Kill-team as they ran through the spire, which the pilots obeyed in the face of 6 DoS Intimidation Test.

Unfortunately they got shot down, so Anselm bailed and landed on top of a building on the other side of the spire.

This now is the second session of Crazymania. I’d had a week to meditate on where I was going from here and figured I had a shot if this was the best the PDF could muster against me.

Anselm went after a lone Leman Russ that was parked on his side of the nobles’ spire. After landing on top of the thing, he began pounding on the hatch like a giant troll. It turned out the tank was manned by a loyalist crew, but Anselm could hardly discern that, so he just threatened them with death and snatched their vox, which was apparently connected to the rest of the tank network.

One somehow-successful Intimidation Test later, suddenly half the PDF’s armored forces had pledged loyalty to the Throne. Anselm then heard an explanation for why the planet had fallen and why the loyalists weren’t more actively in uprising. Thereafter he was pointed to a grouping of tank squadrons parked outside the spire that still remained disloyal.


>> No.20051099

So, he did more jumping around like the goddamned Batman, and after taking part in an armor ballet forced the crews to surrender by cutting off a commander’s head and sticking it on one of his helmet’s horns.

No, I’m serious you guys, he’s not a Night Lord.

A lone tank was then sent to deal with Anselm, apparently the only one in the PDF that remained with the tauist faction. Anselm had the decency to clear the rest of the tanks so their loyal crews wouldn’t get hit by his insanity and, figuring this may very well be a Fate-Burn here, charged the thing. Unfortunately, it was nearly a quarter of a kilometer down the street, which made it out of range of a charge, even a sprint.

Somehow, its heavy bolter sponsons failed to hit. SOMEHOW, its lascannon missed. SOMEHOW the battlecannon overshot.
And Anselm managed to score a grievous hit on the front armor that tore the lascannon off. After futilely attempting to damage the treads, he just went “fuck it” and jumped on top of it to try and access the crew hatch.

To show off I decided I would just roll Strength to rip the thing off instead of hack it open with a power sword. I rolled a fucking 1 to take off the hatch, if I recall.


>> No.20051124


This happened:

[23:39] <antoine> You rip off not only the hatch but the entire top half of the Leman Russ turrent, the metal is torn from the rest of the chassis, rivets useless against your augmented strength.
[23:40] <Anselm> [Give me a moment, I need to figure out how I'm going to react to that.]

After digging into the interior like a power-bladed gopher, Anselm then proceeded to go flying to the spire again…

Aaaaand the rest of the mission went something like this. Anselm went to the planetary parliament, ranted at them, met a lone Arbites assassin that was trying to avenge his Precinct for the Emprah; they killed the entirety of the two-hundred people in parliament like chattel; Anselm then mowed through tau that were desperate enough to fire on one-another’s vehicles in order to kill him as he clung to them…

And somewhere along the lines Bellerophon never really got why it was that the guardsmen in the lower areas of the spire suddenly became complacent.

And frankly, there’s just too much to cover. Meanwhile, everyone else was expositing-expositing-expositing-expositing plot-plot-plot-plot-plot and being shockingly low-key for superhumans who supposedly can’t do stealth.

("ahaha ohwow," indeed, captcha)

>> No.20051141


Sinbad, the Marine who went off with the serfs – oh god. He sang Disney sing-alongs to feral orks in order to gain their trust and trick them into killing themselves.

But this is how I think Space Marines really are. A single one of them, aptly-equipped can bring a well-organized planet with standard tech-level to its knees if he plays it smart.

All of our campaign was logged, and I can provide links. It was the most fun shit I’ve ever played.

If you’re interested, /tg/, after I've divulged the antics of the Kill-team's Space Wolf being a Space Wolf, I can also tell the story of how our Techmarine suplexed a Bloodthirster of Khorne, and the vicious beating that followed.

Our Deathwatch campaign really was a source of some of the most amazing and lulzy shit I've ever seen.

>> No.20051151

>Deathwatch campaign with Staffen
>fighting an avatar of Khaine
>everyone is forced to make a morale test due to the giant fucking lava man
>the majority of the squad fails except for my Kreiger companion who rolled a fucking one

Kant was a man amongst men.

>> No.20051173

first DnD mission with our group starting at lvl5, im a goliath with a 20strength. he is always happy and LOVES to eat, so we go up to the bad guys hideout a spooky lil house on a hill boarded up front door, team is wondering how to get in, they are talking about walking around back, look at them. "you wanna go in? lets go in." SMASH the motherfuckin door down with a crit, bashing 2 people out of the way, and fucking the entire group into a fight we weren't ready for.

>> No.20051317

I bet you Kant ended up being used as a gene-template for Krieg afterwards.

Now, the other Assault Marine in our Kill-team was Balmung, an old Space Wolf with the experience of a Long Fang but -- this being DW -- a pragmatic preference for jump packs. Until he got his Terminator armor, anyway.

Our final mission in Deathwatch, I'd gotten so sick of playing a raging bundle of death with more swords than limbs that I just said "I'll play this Librarian who's been skulking in the background."

The final mission sent us to catch a crazy Inquisitor who'd gone and created Norn Queens using the genetic goop that Anselm had been covered in after his unfortunate experience with vorophilia.

The Inquisitor, however, fucked up horribly and managed to get stuck on a death world filled with orks. In order to get to her, we had to kill an small klan that turned out to be... what was it, Goffs? I think Goffs.

Balmung ended up being the second most frequent Kill-team leader, and he also lead that mission as well. I am not going to mention Wolfy right now also.

But Balmung, in order to buy the rest of us time to drag the Inquisitor and her scientists out of a cave, challenged the Warboss to one-on-one combat through a series of very angry power axe thrusts and grunting. Not knowing the world of hurt he was about to get himself into, the Warboss complied.

>> No.20051333


So they fought, pretty standard fare but over the top in how dangerous it was - the Warboss was big and strong enough that one swipe from his power klaw had the potential to kill even a Terminator armor-clad Space Marine. Balmung did really fucking well fighting that thing.

I can't recall off the top of my head the specifics, but I think Bal mmmmmay have actually gone into Crits during that fight. Nevertheless, when he got an opportunity, he put his axe away, and grappled the Warboss.

There was something absolutely amusing about it but I was too absorbed being an arrogant psyker fag. Balmung rolled a Strength Test opposed to the Warboss's Toughness, and was so successful, he ripped its power klaw arm off completely, killing it thereafter. The orks fell into in-fighting immediately afterwards and we got our opening.

Being that Deathwatch takes place around ~820.M41, Balmung preempted Yarrick in doing this.

Talk about a trendsetter.

>> No.20051363

The warboss landed one blow and my storm shield field absorbed it.

>> No.20051461

Antoine here, you guys are jonesing for me to finish the fucking mission summaries arn't you?

>> No.20051519

YOU BET YOUR ASS WE ARE! Hurry up and get over your Australian super flu and get those things up.

>> No.20051540

Shut up, it's more dramatic if you got hurt. Shows the stakes.

Hell to the yes, you kinky bastard.

But Bills's next character was the noble assassin Petrus Cain (presumably of no relation to a certain other Cain), who is the second of the two nobles from my Dark Heresy campaign's starting group. There are now a total of four nobles in the party, which equals me lapping my lips with glee at the potential for buttfuckery.

Cain fancies himself a big-game hunter. I'm not sure if Bills means to just use the Assassin career as a way of accessing this, or if it's a character quirk and he's a genuine Assassin, but still - he has asked me to allow Followers Advances so he may get a pigmy manservant.

>> No.20051553

Well I friend my comp (heat sink troubles I think) so no gaming. I might as well finish the post campaign stuff for each character and then I will go back and do the summaries.
>Pic related

>> No.20051611

So far Petrus has bagged some pretty big game so far, a Guncutter and then the Bronze Malifect both with one shot each.

>> No.20051612


But anyway, new story. During a home-invasion with the intent to kidnap a big-time businessman, Cain snuck into a Scintillan aristocrat's ballroom party in order to have a sniping spot to back the rest of the Acolytes up the next day. When the kidnapping went down, things spun downhill fast after a guncutter appeared and dropped commandos into the businessman's estate.

Cain opened fire on the droptroops and drew its ire, which forced him to retreat back into the ballroom, where he met the extraordinarily mary-sue owner. The nobles decided to work together in taking down a military-grade gunship for no reason other than "it shot my house up".

The nobleman, now revealed as an ungodly hunter with no better reason to be than "I liked General Castor", took this bolter-sniper thing that I saw while leafing through Into the Storm. Cain received a vintage Nomad rifle (and jizzed everywhere subsequently). They went up onto the roof of the nobleman's estate to get a good view of the guncutter strafing the rest of the party as they carried the morbidly obese corporate exec. to safety.

Cain got initiative over the nobleman, and lined up his shot on the exposed canopy of the guncutter.

He fired.

And rolled a 1.

The rules for Accuracy make me cry.

So he did sufficient damage that, quite frankly, he probably could have blown a hole in the thing's armor. With the pilot's brain matting the cockpit, the craft spun out of control and detonated on impact with the ground.

Some disappointment from the group over not being able to steal the guncutter for themselves aside, that turned out way too well.

And now the BBEG is thoroughly convinced he needs to do something serious in order to rid himself of you guys.

>> No.20051765

In all seriousness you dudes, thanks for giving me the funnest experiences I've had in gaming.

Shit's so cash. I'm scared to think of where we'll go next.

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