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19917913 No.19917913 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

What do you think Imperial Guardsman recruitment ads are like /tg/?

>> No.19917920

The imperial guard does not recruit people, it conscripts them.

>> No.19917930
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19917930

I didn't know Nick Cage was in the 41st millennium.

>> No.19917941

>>19917920
It depends on the world, as long as volunteers meet the recruitment tithes then the planet doesn't do conscription.

>> No.19917943

IT IS YOUR DUTY TO DIE FOR THE EMPEROR OR DIE AS A HERETIC. ENLIST TODAY.
uncle_sam_the_inquisitor.jpg

>> No.19917946

"Want a free Lasgun? Then join the Imperial Guard today!"

>> No.19917955

>40k version of this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rAHrHd2lcw

>> No.19917957

>>19917946
You aren't given a lasgun, you are entrusted with one until you die and executed if your maintenance isn't 100%.

>> No.19917963
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19917963

They also put out movies that get you all gung-ho about joining the Imperial Guard.

>> No.19917974

ENLIST OR DIE A HERETIC
JOIN THE GUARD TODAY

>> No.19917978
File: 159 KB, 900x1161, 1328258187817.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
19917978

>> No.19917980

"As if you even have a choice


JOIN THE IMPERIAL GUARD"

>> No.19917982
File: 68 KB, 700x620, just checking in.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
19917982

>Didn't have the luck to be born into a noble family?
>Don't have the metal fortitude to be a Psyker?
>Too much of a pansy to be a Commissar?
>Can't hear the whispers of the machines around you?

>Imperial Guard: We've got a spot for you in the corpse pile.

>> No.19917984

You know how Uncle Sam posters say "We Want You!" ?

Same shit, except it's a comissar saying "We Own You".

>> No.19917989

>Cadia
Immaculately Groomed Commissar: You see that big swirling, purple thing Johnny?
Johnny: I sure do Mr. Commissar.
Commissar: That's called the Eye of Terror, Johnny, and it's full of -monsters-.
Johnny:M-monsters?
Commissar (Slowly but steadily leaning in until he's eyeball to eyeball with a now trembling Johnny): That's right Johnny, monsters, and do you know what they DO with little scholam aged boys like you? They -eat them alive- if you're lucky. Hopefully you don't meet the ones who flay you where you stand, or pull your soul out to fuel their engines of destruction that were ancient when the Imperium was young, or even worse. And they're COMING.

JOIN THE GUARD TODAY!

>> No.19917994

Recruitment? Come on, pretty sure the dog tags come with the birth certificate.

>> No.19917999

>>19917920
Even still then they still probably have ads to remind everyone about their duty to the service.
I would imagine something similar to USA's army ads. Nice and self rightous ENLIST TODAY! WE FIGHT FOR GOD BECAUSE WE ARE GOOD.

>> No.19918004

>Catachan Recruitment Ad

Join the Guard.
Unless you're a pussy.


(also we just got a message from the Tau, they said you're all gay)

>> No.19918024

>Krieger recruitment ad
WHY IN THE EMPRAHS NAME ARE YOU WATCHING PICT VIDEOS AND NOT JOINING THE GUARD?!

>> No.19918025
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19918025

>>19918004

Catachan's get some rather interesting recruits, I hear.

>> No.19918031

>>19918024

Shortly after these were discontinued as the rest of the population was too busy dying in trenches and giving birth to give them a glance.

>> No.19918032

Tallarn recruitment
derka derka emprah jihad

>> No.19918047

Hello Imperial Citizens,

Look at yourself, now back at me, now back at yourself, now back to me.
Sadly, you aren't me, but if you join the Imperial Guard you might live long enough to be as awesome as me.
Look down, now up, where are you? Your on the battle front, defending your people from xenos and heretic scum!
What's in your hand? I have it, it's a lasgun and 2 grenades to throw at things, look again, your weapon is now Plasma! Anything is possible when you join the Imperial Guard!

I'm in a Chimera.

>> No.19918048
File: 1.02 MB, 1600x1200, 1331089486963.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
19918048

I think this would work as a 40k recruitment poster

>> No.19918065

>>19918004
>another
We heard some Space Marines talking and they said the reason they don't recruit from Catachan is because you're all GIANT PUSSIES. Join the guard and prove them wrong.

>> No.19918074
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19918074

>>19918065
>>19918004

THEY SAID WHAT?!

>> No.19918080
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19918080

>> No.19918083

>>19918074
YOU HEARD ME, THEY THINK YOU'RE GIANT FUCKING PUSSIES WHO CRY WHEN YOU FALL AND SCRAPE YOUR KNEE!

>> No.19918088

>>19918004
More like

STOP RAPING THAT BARKING TOAD TO DEATH AND START DISEMBOWELING SOME TAU

SERIOUSLY THE BARKING TOAD RAPE NEEDS TO STOP IT'S BECOMING A PROBLEM

>> No.19918101

Catachan slogan:

"Hell, you've survived this long, this should be easy."

>> No.19918106

>>19918074
Why do I want to see Straken punching an Ultramarine?

>> No.19918113
File: 78 KB, 400x300, IG Joe.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
19918113

Well they likely have a show aimed at kids that shows how AWESOME the Guard is and has a cool theme.

Crashing through the sky
Comes the fearful cry
Chaos! Chaos! Chaos! Chaos!
Armies of the night
Evil taking flight
Chaos! Chaos! Chaos! Chaos!
No where to run
No where to hide
Panic spreading far and wide
Who can turn the tide?

IG Joooooooooe! A real Imperial hero
Yo Joe!
IG Joe is there!

IG Joooooooooe! A real Imperial hero
IG Joe is there!
Fighting for mankind wherever there's trouble over land and sea and air!
IG Joe is there!

Can mankind oppose
Deadliest of foes?
Chaos! Chaos! Chaos! Chaos!
Joes will risk it all
To end the evil call of
Chaos! Chaos! Chaos! Chaos!
They never give up!
They never say die!
Walking tall with banners high!
They sound the battle cry!
Yo Joe! Yo Joe!

IG Joooooooooe! A real Imperial hero!
IG Joe will dare!
IG Joooooooooe! A real Imperial hero!
IG Joe is there!

Fighting for mankind wherever there's trouble over land and sea and air!
IG Joe is there!

IG Joe is the codename for The Imperium of Man's daring, highly trained special mission force.
It's purpose, to defend humanity against Chaos-
A ruthless, evil force, determined to rule the galaxy.

IG Joooooooooe! A real Imperial hero!
IG Joe will dare!
IG Joooooooooe! A real Imperial hero!
IG Joe is there!
Fighting for mankind wherever there's trouble over land and sea and air!
IG Joe is there!
Chaos! Retreat! Retreat!

IG Joooooooooe! A real Imperial hero
IG Joe is there!
IG Joooooooooooooooooe!

>> No.19918114
File: 47 KB, 500x358, Empire-Enlistment-Poster-full.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
19918114

someone needs to draw a 40k version of this with Calgar instead of Vader.

>> No.19918124
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19918124

>>19918106
lol. I keep requesting it on drawthreads and it never gets drawn.

but i wanna see Straken brofist Calgar causing an explosion.

>> No.19918162
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19918162

We've just landed here on what the stormtroopers are calling "Big K," currently under siege by a Kraken hive fleet!
It's an ugly fleet, a XENO fleet! A bug fleet hostile to all life as we know it-

>> No.19918168
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19918168

-AAAAAAAAAAH

>> No.19918182
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19918182

>>19918162
>>19918168
Join the Imperial Guard and save the Imperium!
Service guarantees glory in the eyes of the Emperor!

>> No.19918205

>>19918114
except Calgar would be able to do it alone because of herp derp mary sue mat ward

>> No.19918215
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19918215

>>19918162
>>19918168
>>19918182

>> No.19918220

>>19918205
no one ever said recruitment posters have to be honest

>> No.19918237

>>19918101
Join the Guard, at least it isn't Catachan.

>> No.19918254

>>19918237
>>19918101

im starting to think that the guard is more like retirement for Catachans.

I imagine a bunch of Catchan solders deep in the think of fighting talking to themselves about how nice things are like,
"Man, I'm so glad we finally have time to relax and enjoy ourselves!"

>> No.19918277

>>19918254
Ma, I'm going to join the Guard.

YOU LIMPDICKED PUSSY, WHEN YOUR FATHER WAS YOUR AGE HE HAS TO WALK UPHILL, BOTH WAYS, ON A PATH INFESTED WITH DEATH PLANTS AND A DOZEN MURDER KOALAS EVERY STEP OF THE WAY. YOU'RE TAKING THE EASY WAY OUT.

Fine, go, take the easy way out. You're not part of this family any more.

>> No.19918293

>>19918113
And then an Inquisitor gets pissy because it mentions Chaos so he has the entire cast, crew and studio executives burned alive before beginning and multi-planet purge of everyone who has seen the show, might have seen the show, or might know someone might have seen the show.

>> No.19918321
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19918321

>> No.19918340

>>19918321

I fucking lost it.

>> No.19918364
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19918364

Join the Imperial Guard

see distant worlds
meet interesting Xenos
experience exotic cultures

Then kill them for being Xenos and having different cultures than your own.

>> No.19918425

>Cadia
Liked kicking daemons in the dick during your time in the white shields? Join the Interior Guard!

Want to see the galaxy and kick daemons in the dick like your time in the whiteshields? Join the Anterior Guard

>Vostroya
Do you have a penis and are an only child? I have some BAAAAAD news for you

>Vahalla
Might be warmer somewhere else

>Necromunda
They GIVE you free shit, and you get to leave Necromunda, WHY IS THIS A BAD THING!?

>Kriege
You have NO say in this, here is your rifle

>> No.19918428

Here's the better version of OPs question.

"What are recruitment ads like on Astartes controlled worlds?"

For those that don't know, on Astartes controlled worlds the Chapter in question has first pic and full purview over potential Space Marine trainee candidates.
If you told that you don't qualify to for the initial training or survive it yet are found somehow lacking you can opt to join the IG.
Additionally, throughout much of the Imperium including Astartes sectors women/girls (who, of course, can't be SMs can join the IG or possibly apply to the Sororitas.
The Imperium needs meat, it matters not whether said meat had a cock or vagoo

>> No.19918452

Does Holy Terra have a regiment?

>> No.19919098

>>19918452

Probably hundreds.

It's the single most populated planet in the entire Imperium.

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