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[ERROR] No.19900228 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Let's clean up Warhammer 40k, /tg/.

Insert one character, from any setting, into it to make it a "happy" setting (in other words, not grimdark).

>> No.19900247

Can it really only be one? I'd really like to put Yakko, Wakko, and Dot in, they work best as a team. Oh well: Freakazoid.

>> No.19900248

> pic related

>> No.19900254

Noblebright 40k already was done

>> No.19900255

an unfathomable pink abomination (kirby) from the other side of the universe finally arrives in the imperium whist the tyranid swarm is at it's peak, decides that he needs a nice snack.

>> No.19900258

okay OP explain to me how one person is gonna turn around an entire setting where things are shit because thats the setting is written?

like ya one guy could probably make things better , but it would still be grimdark because the setting itself would actively pursue the character with grimdarkness in order to equal out. its simple math when you think about it

>> No.19900263

How about Buddha?

>> No.19900269

You mean Nurgle?

>> No.19900272

It's been done.
There's a reason it was forgotten.

>> No.19900284

Gordon Gekko.
Wait no I just made it worse.

>> No.19900285

I don't think Y, W, and D would change things, just fuck with big name characters one by one.

>yfw HELL-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...nurse? at a daemonette.

>> No.19900302

>Dwarf Batman

Things are still grimdark, but there's hope in the galaxy.

Plus he's got dwarf lifespan.

>> No.19900313

it would have to be someone fanatically dedicated to moral faggotry. more dedicated to moral faggotry than the 40k universe ITSELF is dedicated to the grim derp. someone who wont give a shit that the very genre hes wandered into is antithetical to ever making things better.

>> No.19900327

Madoka Kaname.

>> No.19900332

>UBW spamming powerswords.

>> No.19900347

Super-massive black hole. Right by a large planet to promote faster growth. Destroy everything.

Fine, I don't know... Dr. Doom or something. There isn't really anyone who can affect something on the size scale of 40k. Sure, they might make a planet slightly better, but that's the best they could hope for honestly. The setting is too large of a place for one person to actually affect on a large scale.

>> No.19900360

Do you really think that making a Chaos god their Special Friend wouldn't automatically make for a happier universe? Just the mental image does the trick. Fuck, now I need a picture of Dot trying to braid Khorne's hair.

>> No.19900363 [DELETED] 

There's a fair amount of difference between Nurgle and Buddha.

Buddhism is and has been the world's fastest growing religion and it has the most retention among its followers.

It would throw most of the Imperium upside down.

That said I'm fairly sure the other factions wouldn't care, and would merely take advantage and just kill all of humanity.

Without humanity Chaos would turn its full attentions upon the eldar, who would be swiftly eradicated, and then the Tau.

Chaos would die fighting the Tau and Orks. Whether this is because as the last real 'faction' that could be Chaotic, or them just being immune, I couldn't say. But suddenly you'd live in a universe that had nothing that could be corrupted to Chaos.

Only the Necrons and the Tyranid. Death and life.

Death wins, if only because death always wins. As long as there is life, there is death.

And so the Necrons go to sleep after they eradicate every last microbe in the universe, leaving it pretty cheerful, if quiet.

>> No.19900366

Kamina, Rouge Trader

>> No.19900372

Problems solved.

>> No.19900381

I'll do you one better: a guy who doesn't believe in simplistic morality and just goes by his (very basic) moral code as if it's his duty and is immune to daemonic corruption, and a guy who doesn't think anything of morality at all. He's just in it for entertainment purposes, but will play the moralfag game just because it has harder rules and is thus more fun (trolling Tzeentch and Slaanesh at the same time).

>> No.19900418

Kamen Rider, all of the Kamen Riders

>> No.19900462

No universe could handle that much GAR.

>> No.19900466

If anyone could do it...

>> No.19900485

he already was in it.

he just became an objective

>> No.19900495

He's already there, not doing anything though.

>> No.19900500

as an inquisitor

>> No.19900502

you cant make it better. you just gotta stop giving a damn.

>> No.19900523

Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson. Enough said.

>> No.19900532

>> No.19900552


I don't know a damn thing about anything.

>> No.19900553

in order to combat the Tau ambassadors the Imperium decides to send in their best.

>> No.19900555

But that's why humanity is so crucial to the universe.

If not for us, the battle is already decided. We're the tipping point, the crux, the variable.

>> No.19900557


>> No.19900559

wow, that's a pathetic outlook, I actually got happier when I hit twenty.

>> No.19900573

Nah, Carrot's almost to upright. To deal with a settiing as grimdark as 40K, you need some understanding of the filth and vileness you're dealing with, while still having that strong morale center.

Now, A certain Samuel Vimes on the other hand.

God, I can see it now, Commissar Vimes...


>> No.19900601

I don't think there's anyone Noblebright enough that they wouldn't simply become Grimdark in 40k.

>> No.19900612

Tom Bombadi

>> No.19900625

>Commissar Vimes
Shut up and take my thrones.

>> No.19900629

Jesus Christ. Just when you think Fox News can't get any worse, they go and do something like this. Fuck Fox.

>> No.19900631


>> No.19900635

Zayne Carrick.

The Force does not want him dead. It does not want him happy, but it does not want him dead. He has the kind of luck that swings back and forth like a pendulum, so everything balances out for him in the end, and you can't really tell if his luck is really bad or really good.

He's not a Jedi. He was a padawan, once, but he was framed for a massacre he didn't commit and became a fugitive before being knighted. He was cleared, after a year or so on the run, but he never went back to the Order.

So what do you think would be the effect of an ex-Jedi like Zayne on the 40k setting? Keep in mind, even though things don't work out well for him, he always tries to do the right thing, no matter the circumstances.

>> No.19900636

>Average Buddhist priest
>"Oh no, we're being oppressed. Lets set ourselves on FIRE to protest"
>Chaos Legions approach a world
>deploy, ready for slaughter
>World is just full of hundreds of burning corpses all holding hands
>This is repeated, Khorne getting frustrated, humanity's wiped out

>> No.19900670

>pic related

>> No.19900676

>Kenshiro meets the Emperor
>"You are already dead."
>Emperor reincarnates and fixes his shithole of an Imperium as Kenshiros sidekick

>> No.19900703

A girl who sends people to risk their lives in order to make her money so that she can pay off a huge debt that she inherited. So happy.

>> No.19900706


>> No.19900712

It'd probably be something along the lines of
>swift death

>> No.19900764

Reed Richards, free of a status quo that makes 40K look like the post-Cold War era in terms of advancement.

>> No.19900765


He's been on the run from the law before. He can do it again.

I can see him now on a Rogue Trader's crew, hiding out, right wrongs where and when he can, trying to make the galaxy a better place one happy person at a time.

>> No.19900770

>Take your pick

>> No.19900778

Bill Murray.

just drop him off on any ol planet in the imperium and the setting can no longer be considered grimdark.

because just knowing he is out there somewhere being himself gives hope to every man woman and child.

>> No.19900792

>> No.19900798

Pic Related.

>> No.19900862

Commissar Vimes walked along the path, watching as various guardsmen scurried past, tending their duties. They had their orders from Holy Terra to defend this planet from the oncoming Waaagh!, he had his trusty bolt pistol at his hip, and only the normal, expected amount of heresy was going on, but something felt off to Vimes. As a young guardsmen ran past, Vimes stopped him. The man saluted, clearly nervous. "What's your name, Gaurdsmen?" Vimes asked. "J... Jenkins, sir." came the reply. Vimes looked down . "Been wearing those boots awhile, Jenkins?" A confused, worried look crossed Jenkins face. "Y... Yes sir. I'm sorry if their not up to regulation, sir, but we haven't gotten new supplies in" Vimes held up his hand "It's fine, son, those are just what I was looking for. Here, I'll trade you." Vimes beginning taking off his spotless new boots, fidgeting with them as he hadn't had to learn how the knots worked (he had a man for that now, if you could believe it.) With a satisfied grunt, he got them off, and held them up to a stunned Jenkins. "Don't just stand there, I said, let's trade!" With a look of panic on his face Jenkins quickly tore of his old boots and handed them to Vimes, who put them on and dismissed the still confused and terrified Jenkins with a salute. "Ahhh." thought Vimes, as he resumed walking. Now, here was a pair of boots. So worn through he could tell what part of camp he was in through the soles, just like the old days. Now, he felt like a guardsmen. Now, he was ready.

>> No.19900866

Carrot, though, IS cunning and clever, i'd even put him on Vetinari-level. He just prefers the straightest approach whenever it's possible. In a sense, his cleverness is much more subtle.

>> No.19900877


>> No.19900892

Any Solar Exalt. They can bitch slap the Chaos Gods, reprogram the Necrons, seduce the Eldar, enslave the Orks, and use an automaton army (Necrons) to deal with the Tyranids so that they get no bio matter while being slowly grinded towards destruction. There you go, the entire universe is lost to a weaboo titan slayer. No more grimdark.

>> No.19900983

Glad you liked it.

>> No.19901007

I loved it, anonymous writefag.

>> No.19901011


>> No.19901063

>Implying Marvel Thor isn't a faggot
>Implying the real Thor wouldn't make it grimmer and darker

>> No.19901065

that's from a book.

>> No.19901067


>'Cause why not.

>> No.19901094

Fuck, I need to reread the Watch Novels. Again. For the 8th time.

>> No.19901096

Who's dick do I suck to get an entire book of this?

>> No.19901111

He's already the Emperor.

>> No.19901117

because he's a faggot

>> No.19901123

It's from Terry Pratchett's Watch circle.
Go read it.

>> No.19901143

Arc is the better term.
Start with Guards Guards. You'll never look at mooks the same way again.

>> No.19901145

Er, if you look closely you may notice a few differences...

>> No.19901186

I know, I know. I'm talking about getting a WH40k version.

>> No.19901193

Just name-switching

>apparently GW refused Pratchett when he wanted to write 40k novel for them. How mad are you by scale of 10?

>> No.19901210

The emperor himself

I feel if he woke up from his golden throne he would say something like this:

"All my life, I fought to become a symbol. A symbol of all the things that were right about mankind, all the things I loved. And now, they’re trying to turn that symbol into what’s most convenient, whatever will best serve the agenda of one side or another. I can hear them talking nonstop… the administratum, the inquisition… They don’t understand. It was never about zealotry. It was never about me. It was about humanity. It was always about humanity. But they can’t hear that truth above their own voices."

>> No.19901212

Ciaphas Cain is the closest.
Though it's more "Blackadder IN SPESS".

>> No.19901219


>> No.19901262

Don't mind me, just using the infinite power of machismo and bravado and hope to fuel galaxy sized robots of goodness.

>> No.19901283

Well now, lets jump back a tic, Captain Carrot works because he would be a Sensei or have those been actively retconned?

>> No.19901284

10,000 years of forced introspection changes a guy doesn't it?

>> No.19901295

>apparently GW refused Pratchett when he wanted to write 40k novel for them. How mad are you by scale of 10?

>> No.19901312

>> No.19901315

I don't know bro, Gordon would make a pretty awesome Rogue Trader.

>> No.19901322


>> No.19901330

Optimus prime will bring a revolution to the Mechanichus.

>> No.19901333

>No Shinji

Come on now /tg/...

>> No.19901340

as the writefag who just posted this, I would just like to clear up that this is not from an actual 40K book, it's just one of my favorite fictional characters (Vimes) and re-imagining one of his key scenes and mannerisms into the 40K universe. But no, I did not just stitch the names.

>> No.19901343

Think about it for a few seconds.

>> No.19901351

He's an Iron Man. They'd just smash him for Tech Heresy.

>> No.19901357

All I get are visions of death and destruction. Have you thought this through??

>> No.19901376

I'm used to GW being chucklefucks, I can't even get mad anymore.

>> No.19901388

WRONG, Cybertronians are powered by the most true example of a machine spirit I can think of.

>> No.19901391

Kirby swallows emperor, what do?

>> No.19901398

Carrot as Lord General, Vimes as Lord General Commisar, Carrot's command squad would even include a bunch of abhumans too, an Ogryn, a Squat, a Felenid...

but what really interest me is that Vimes would have to answer to someone, and that'd probably be an Inquisitor Vetinari.

>> No.19901422

And then catgirl sex in 40k is canon.

>> No.19901448


>> No.19901451

it wasn't 40k it was fantasy. And it fell through because it was gw in its infancy and either they couldn't afford it, or they didn't want prattchet to have as much liberty with the setting as he wanted and the deal fell through.

>> No.19901452

If we take it up a notch, Commissar Vimes would be a direct underling of the High Lord of the Administratum. Holy shit.

>> No.19901480


>> No.19901503

>fucks over every other dynasty in the sector in a matter of decades.
>he has custom power armor with power suspenders

>> No.19901533

>a perpetual-energy lifeform that can copy and even IMPROVE UPON the abilities of anything it swallows (even energy and bullets), able to develop organic, magical, and even mechanical matter spontaneously to suit its current situation. It can switch between unstoppable firepower and insurmountable defense at a moment's notice, and even harness and unleash the power of atomic weaponry without harming itself
>and it can live forever so long as it has enough tomatoes

>> No.19901602

>> No.19901649

Come on /tg/.

Step it up.

>> No.19901766

Vect is already freiza, it's perfect

>> No.19901945

Haruhi Suzumia.

>> No.19902093

Lost Primarch

>> No.19903875


>> No.19903904

>> No.19903923


>> No.19903945


>> No.19903961

I'm going to have to agree with the people saying the fellows from TTGL.

Boundless idealism and infinite power. I can't see any better combination for saving 40K. Simon would be the prime candidate, though Kamina MIGHT be able to pull it off.

>> No.19904058

>apparently GW refused Pratchett when he wanted to write 40k novel for them.

Swingin' a cactus/10

>> No.19904069


>mfw I drew that

Jesus /tg/ stop reminding me of that. . . "phase" I had.

>> No.19904080

It is really out of place in this thread too... I mean, Kahrn is an active and contributing member of 40K background. How would adding a second one do anything?

>> No.19904088


>mfw I realise we could have read a book about Orkz written by Pratchett

>> No.19904103


>mfw I realize we could have had scenes with Death making dry, snarky comments about the state of mankind in the grimdarkness of the future.

>> No.19904104


Nobody cares.

Hating ponies is just as memetic as liking them now.

It's hard to tell where the bandwagon ends and actual opinions begin.

>> No.19904107


May as well post the rest of the set, then.

>> No.19904108

out of 10.

>> No.19904115

I am literally so angry right now that I broke a knuckle punching a wall.

>> No.19904117


Tada. Actually a bit proud of Lucius on this one.

>> No.19904118


No, you don't have to spam threads with images.

>> No.19904119


>> No.19904121


>mfw Rincewind is the worst psyker in the whole imperium
>The Luggage is a very strange warp-demon
>Constantly gets sucked into wormholes and spit out on various planets
>UU is now a part of the Adeptus

>> No.19904127


>mfw AZRAEL and the other seven old gods would actually work in this setting

>> No.19904140

Christ. Lost Primarchs have really gone downhill.

>> No.19904141


Detritus as an Ork too, I guess. Though that might be a tad bit of heresy.

Not to mention Angua. Shit, Vimes whole swaud just screams HERESY by WH40K standards.

>> No.19904143


>Vetinari as Vect

Granny as a Farseer

With Nanny prattling on about her wild days as a banshee in her youth

>> No.19904154


I saved this for just such an occasion.

>> No.19904156


Detritus would be an Ogryn

>> No.19904161


Ironically Scott Mcneill voices nearly half a dozen characters in the show.

>> No.19904184

I remember that moment when I realized. Holy shit, Thunderhooves is Sindri and Davian Thule.

>> No.19904192

Power Swords are weak shit, even in the 40k universe. Imagine a storm of weapons like Mjolnir, Ifurita's Key Staff, or Samus Aran's arm cannon, especially since the last two were mass-produced at one point in history or another.

>> No.19904225


It's not just thunderhooves

Gustave the Griffon. Mulia Mule. Caramel. Rover. Flam. Not to mention all the monster noises.

Hopefully he'll return with something new come s3

Maybe use his dinobot/bale voice.

>> No.19904263

Replace the High Lords of Terra.

The Head of the Administratum is now Lord Vetinari.
The Mechanicum is now led by the Doctor.
The Ecclessiarchy is now led by Mr Rogers.
The Inquisition will now be led by Batman.

Kamina will be a representative of the Custodes and will also personally oversee the creation and training of new Space Marines.

>> No.19904265

Stories of how Dark Gods became nothing more just an old history differs one by one, much of the truth was lost.
Still, we can know for sure that it was the story of a simple man who tried to protect his beloved one. When he failed he set on the last Great Crusade of the humankind with nothing but his bare hands, a ladder and a baby.

>> No.19904299

Rumours soon start circulating around the Imperium of a colourful survivor of the Squats who seems to appear at random across the galaxy, only to save entire planets from destruction.

>> No.19904310

>This is how I buddy movie a Space Marine and Commissar.

>> No.19904314

Don't forget, Princess Celestia is the voice of Macha.

Now, if you actually replace a major Eldar character with Princess Celestia, then the Eldar suddenly become a lot more reasonable. Even their anti-Necron cred is retarded with the new Necron codex retcons.

>> No.19904334


And this is big mac


>> No.19904345

>Commissar Colbert
>Putting all the universe's Orks on notice.

>> No.19904381

The only saviors that universe could ever accept.

>> No.19904399

Some of these are hilarious, but I don't think their characters could change the galaxy, even if they make whatever sector they're assigned to a much better place.

In fact, I think we could do with a lot of top heroes dumped across the galaxy at once.

>> No.19904454

>Lo, from on high did Brian Blessed descend upon Holy Terra. He lumbered to the doors of the Emperor's golden palace and on their own accord the doors spread open for him, as if to invite him home.
>The Custodes stepped aside as the massive man strode to the Golden Throne and ascended the steps.
>That was a day that all mankind will remember.
>The day that all mankind was connected by the bellowing laughter of a man who's only shadowed by the Emperor himself.
>The day that a warm laugh woke the Emperor.

>> No.19904490

I love how people are shitting on the eldar for now, but with the current trend of taking everything back toward 2nd ed, the next eldar codex could be the return of the elven super rapists. 48'' D-cannons and heavy 8 starcannons for everyone, and lets not forget the clowns

>> No.19904536

I'm looking forward to it.

Because right now, the Eldar just look like jerks. Not in a cool way either. Their now-irrational hate for Necrons just because 'cultural reasons' makes them look like huge dicks.

>> No.19904621

Probably because all people know are biel-tan and Ulthwe which have higher concentrations of dicks that /hm/ and /y/ put together. Saim-hann and IIyaden are bro tier and alitoc were too busy failing at life to be worried about. But thats all about to change, Irillyth is back and shit is about to get done! Aspects long lost shall be recovered. Dead craftworlds shall be revived, and the lost found.. The Nihilistic prophecies of Ulthwe will be torn down and fate rewoven. SHIT WILL GET DONE! Isha will be rescued by the hands of her loving children, Vaul shal be unchained and with his anvil and isha's life KHAINE SHALL BE REFORGED.

>> No.19904990

Wait so there was never one with typhus?

>> No.19905017

Even amongst Terminators, he has a case of the serious fatass.

>> No.19905059


>> No.19905365


Dr. Doom would be pretty good actually.

He is a bad guy in Marvel but would be pretty damn nice by comparison to most 40K characters.

He would even fit in nicely with with a lot of the culture even.

Doom is Pro-Doom, then Pro-Latverian then Pro-human, somewhere there is no Latveria he would probably create himself a new playground to rule.

>> No.19905395

This is our new Rogue Trader

>> No.19905434


>> No.19905459

a relatively unknown necron overlord

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