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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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[ERROR] No.19411429 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

"So it says on your resume' that you worship the Chaos gods, would you care to elaborate?"

>> No.19411440

As you are not legally allowed to use that information in your decision to hire me, I do not care to elaborate at this time. Also, why is that on my resume?

>> No.19411445

>> No.19411454

Let me tell you ALL ABOUT THEM.

>> No.19411458

"In my religion, the world is divided up into the forces of stasis and chaos. By making the conscious choice to align with chaos, I've unlocked hidden potential within myself and become more at ease in the fast-moving environments of today's job markets."

>> No.19411459

And that, boys and girls, is how the worst cultist infiltrator ever was caught before he could get a job in the munitorium.

>> No.19411466

My relationship with my Gods is personal and I don't care to shaBLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!!

>> No.19411476

I don't know what you mean. I follow the one true path.

>> No.19411622

>>19411429
"My religion is about how everything is changing constantly, which is the philosophical definition of Chaos. The main belief is that one should always be ready to adapt to the situation and take best profit of any event instead of fighting against the flow.

In the end, it's about being accepting and embrassing change, never resting on past deeds and standing proud and confident when faced to adversity."

>> No.19411632

Well the first thing I do is,
Curse the Emperor
Worship Chaos!
Sacrifice innocents
Worship Chaos!
Skulls for the Skull Throne
Worship Chaos!
Kill maim & burn
Worship Chaos!
Misdirect Fate
Worship Chaos!
Doori Keikakus
Worship Chaos!
Heavy Metal
Worship Chaos!
Cocaine swimming
Worship Chaos!
Vommit Pus
Worship Chaos!
Spooge disease
Worship Chaos!
Nurgle no rubbers
Worship Chaos!
Warp overtakes me
Worship Chaos!
Curse Sindri
Worship Chaos!
Become a daemon
Worship Chaos!
Capture a cruiser
Warship Chaos!
Eat the planet
Warship Chaos!
Throwdown with Draigo
Worship Chaos!
Heart Graffiti
Worship Chaos!
Displease the masters
Worship Chaos!
Time for spawndom
Worship Chaos!

>> No.19411635

No, I would not. My religion has no impact on how I will perform my duties, barring the occasional act of sabotage to weaken the lackeys of the corpse-god.

>> No.19411646

>>19411632
What's the source on that image? It looks like it's from an FFG splatbook but I've never seen it.

>> No.19411713

>>19411632
So, that's an average day for you then? You capture a cruiser and get turn to a spawn?

>> No.19411756

>>19411713
Hell yeah.

>> No.19411772

>>19411713
also, I think you said something about having sex with the god of disease?

>> No.19411791

>>19411772
Nah, that ain't me.

>> No.19411793

>>19411772
Nah man, that ain't me.

>> No.19411822

>>19411772
Nah, that ain't me.

>> No.19411832

>>19411772
Nope.

>> No.19411846

rolled 67, 62, 54, 4, 87, 65 = 339

I need to use up some shit rolls, so that when I later roll the dice some good rolls come up.
Might as well do it in this thread.

Oh, praise Tzeentch.

>> No.19411855

>>19411791
>>19411793
>>19411822
>>19411832
>thataintmemind.jpg

>> No.19411857

>>19411772
Now and then, yeah.

>> No.19411861

rolled 8 = 8

>>19411846
God damn it Tzeentch you ate 1 really good roll and 4 decent ones.
In blasphemy, I dedicate the final d100 in your name, as I know it'll roll really shit.

>> No.19411870

>>19411846
>I need to use up some shit rolls, so that when I later roll the dice some good rolls come up.
This is what heretic fleshlings actually believe.

>> No.19411893

>>19411861
>Dedicate a 8 to Tzeentch
You are soooo going to get spawned.

>> No.19411913

>>19411440
>why is that on my resume?
just as planned etc

>> No.19411915

>>19411861

Oh shit, you just owned Tzeentch

>> No.19412007

>>19411846
>Oh, praise Tzeentch.
>rolled 67, 62, 54, 4, 87, 65 = 339
>3*3=9
Tzeentched.

>> No.19412133

>>19412007
3*3+9 = 18
1*8 = 8
Suddenly Khorne

>> No.19412171

>>19412133
>9+9=18
Still Tzeentch.

>> No.19412203

>>19412133
>3+3 & 9 = 69
>Slaanesh up in this bitch

>> No.19412258

rolled 1, 4, 6 = 11

Brb Magickan don't mind me Tzeentch

>> No.19412282

>>19412007
>>19412133
>>19412171
>>19412203
Making Papa Nurgle sad.

>> No.19412322

>>19412171
>It takes two tzeentches to make a khorne
>khorne is twice as good as tzeentch
Checkmate.

>> No.19412348

>>19412322
Khorne cannae into sorcery.

>> No.19412393

>>19412322
I'm surprised a Khornite could do math.

>> No.19412426

>>19412393
Gotta figure out how much property damage Kharne does daily. Besides, do you know how many people go into RAGE mode over sudoku?

>> No.19412495

>>19412348
Khorne doesn't need sorcery!
Well, he does, but he exports it to third-world sorcerers. We kill them last.

>> No.19412519

>>19412495
>He exports it to third-world sorcerers.
So only to sorcerers who live on the third planet in their solar systems? That explains alot

>> No.19412532

>>19412519
>yfw Earth is in that category
>yfw Earth is controlled by Chaos
>yfw everything makes sense now

>> No.19412563

>>19412393
>Implying Khorne will accept miscounts on your Skull Deposit forms.
We're head taking Berzerkers, not illiterate barbarians. Now fill out the form 864 leave the yellow sheet in box 88 and take the blue sheet to Garlgalax the Bloodfeeder down on row 72.

>> No.19412638

I'ma gonna go all Khorne on my competitors.
I'ma gonna go all Tzeentch on my customers.
I'ma gonna go all Nurgle in someones cubicle after everyone left.
I'ma gonna go all Slaneesh on my female supervisor.

Luckily I worship Malal above all, so I'ma gonna go Malal on your ass and take your job, Mr. Interviewer.

>> No.19412733

>>19412638
You said you worshiped the Chaos gods, not smalltime babygod Malal. You are not hired.

>> No.19416547

>>19412203
I like Slaanesh math.

>>
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