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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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[ERROR] No.19140485 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

You are N'oo'p, infantryman specialist Seventh Tent of the 117th SpearPoint brigade, and you are fucking hungry.

The artillery-torn terrain of the terrible marshy shithole of an island Command is so hell-bent on capturing is littered with hastily dug huntyholes, with naught but a few helmeted heads peeking out here and there - even a few tentacles with mirrors, for the more paranoid. There's nothing even remotely like a "field kitchen" and your ride in here was blown into a huge-ass crashing fireball of shitty alloys and human Fail as it plummeted from the sky in exactly the way you'd expect a huge nautical cargo carrier to plummet, from the god-damned sky who even-

- you steady your shaking tentacles, trying not to grasp the neck of invisible Commanders. Your rage is palpable, hot and potent - and it's making you EVEN MORE HUNGRY.

>Scrounge for LOCAL SUPPLY
>Enter the EDMUND FLAMESGERALD and look for your allocated supplies
>Other?

>> No.19140511

PLANEFAGGGGGGGGGGGGG

>> No.19140519

in after panzer

>> No.19140521

>>19140485
>Enter the EDMUND FLAMESGERALD and look for your allocated supplies

>> No.19140525

>Enter the EDMUND FLAMESGERALD and look for your allocated supplies
We need alium shit.

>> No.19140531

>>19140485
PLANEFAG, I MUST SPEAK WITH YOU

>> No.19140535

>>19140485
>Enter the EDMUND FLAMESGERALD and look for your allocated supplies

>> No.19140538

PLANEFAAAAAAAAAAG!

>> No.19140540

>Enter the EDMUND FLAMESGERALD and look for your allocated supplies

>> No.19140547

>Defect

>> No.19140550

>>19140485
Enter the FLAMESGERALD. N'oo' gives no fucks.

>> No.19140551

>>19140485
>Enter the EDMUND FLAMESGERALD and look for your allocated supplies

Week was rough, eh mate?

>> No.19140556

>>19140485
Scrounge.

>>19140531
That's what the IRC is for, innit?

>> No.19140564

[X] Flamesgerald.

This is the only path.

>> No.19140568

>>19140485
EDMUND FLAMESGERALD

>>19140556
>implying Planefag pays attention to IRC ever

>> No.19140575

>>19140556

He's never in the bloody IRC.

>> No.19140577

>>19140485
Go to the FLAMEGERALD, we need our things and the local supplies may be bad for us.

>> No.19140578

>>19140485
Scrounge for local supply

Also, get in the IRC you, you, double email reader

>> No.19140584

>>19140547
We might want to wait until we're some near the humans. High command wouldn't take that lightly.

>> No.19140585

>>19140578
>Planefag
>reading emails

>> No.19140593

Hold on a minute!

Do we still have that unspeakable Bar thing? Either of them?

>> No.19140595

>>19140584
>implying humanity doesn't gun down Martians on sight after all they've done

>> No.19140601

>>19140595

Or cut, if we're Sean or Sakabro

>> No.19140603

>>19140593
No idea. We might have ditched it.

>> No.19140608

>>19140485
>Enter the EDMUND FLAMESGERALD and look for your allocated supplies

Assuming there's anything left to scrounge. Seriously, what're the alium equivalents to brass and assholes? Because apparently they exist, and one of them thought to himself hey, let's fly our landing force across the channel in a flying freighter! There's no possible way THAT idea could go wrong! I IS TEH SMARTEST GENERAL EVAR HERPDERP

>> No.19140609

So, I assume you're busy?

>> No.19140617

>>19140603

UNACCEPTABLE. The Bars are part of our official loadout now.

>> No.19140620

>>19140608

>Implying Brassholes are EVER smart, regardless of species

>> No.19140627

>>19140608
It wasn't a bad idea until some crazy earthlings came along.

>> No.19140639

>Enter the EDMUND FLAMESGERALD and look for your allocated supplies

Oh did I have a feeling that we'd be hearing from N'oo'p this week

>> No.19140642

what manner of sorcery is this

>> No.19140644

>>19140568
>>19140575
Well, neither am, so what would I know?

>> No.19140651

You flumph closer to the huge column of oily smoke that marks your ride into this earthman hell-hole. Salvage crews are still busy slicing apart the ship to feed the autolathes, but deep inside the craft remain cargo bins that might yet be serviceable and un-charred.

Deep into the old earthman vessel you go, sneezing constantly. They used it to move some nasty mineral shit, black powdered rock or something that burns but good. Or so they say. You came here to kill the pasty little bastards, not learn what they cook their barbaric bloody kills with.

Wandering deeper into the ship, you're once again inside the tight passages and bulk-heads of the crew quarters, already cramped for an earthman, but at least designed with their dexterity in mind. Your tentacles have no room to move past each other, and it's a real bitch to sliiide through all the pipes and hoses and whatnot.

Somewhere, deep in the ship, you hear a strange, echoing, tapping. Steel on steel. It's irregular, and rough, but it's there.

>Investigate?
>Just the blown-to-hell ship settling. Move it towards fresh rations.

>> No.19140653

>>19140642
The flaming kind.

>> No.19140657

>>19140651
Investigate.

And I need youuuuu

>> No.19140661

>>19140651
Investigate!

>> No.19140662

>>19140651
>Just the blown-to-hell ship settling. Move it towards fresh rations.

Fuck the rails!

>> No.19140665

>>19140651
Investimigate, but we gotta make sure none of those earth meatsacs are around to kick us in our jorblocs

>> No.19140673

>>19140651
>Investigate
Could be relevant.

Also, when are we going to get to do a thread or two from Hellcow's pov?

>> No.19140677

>>19140651
Investigate. Might be some space cadet that got stuck.

>> No.19140682

>>19140651

Just the hull. Ignore the man behind the curtain.

>> No.19140683

>>19140642

why can't I find bagfight.jpg when I need it

>>19140657

nuuuu

>> No.19140687

>Investigate?
maybe we can eat it?

>> No.19140691

>>19140683
God dammit Planefag, I am writing things and I need your help.

>> No.19140694

>>19140651
Investigate.

>> No.19140698

>>19140691

>> No.19140701

>>19140651
>Nanolathe
I love you
also
INVESTIGATE

>> No.19140704

>>19140683
Does Bagserk help?

>> No.19140708

>>19140651

DESTROY EVERYTHING.

>> No.19140713

>>19140651
Investimigation time.

>> No.19140718

>>19140683

Get in here, or we'll feed you to Hellcow

>> No.19140763

Wait tonight? I thought it said Friday fffffuuuuuu

>> No.19140773

Would trying to get N'oo'p killed count as metagaming? Does this mean he has quantum immortality?

>> No.19140783

Tapping sounds? In the ship? Trapped infantry yet remain! You prepare to flumph forward, human breaker-bar at the ready-

"Wait," you say suddenly. "Wait just a darkness-cursed minute."

The ship creaks and rattles and waits.

"I've seen this cinematic," you say sagely. "Yes. Many times. Best was in 'Out of the Noisy Planet,' in fact. I rush forward, eager to help, and rescue thirty trapped comrades from certain death, probably braving danger and destruction along the way."

You pause dramatically in a silence that can only be called gestating.

"Yeah, fuck you, I'm hungry," you sneer, and flumph down the corridor, no fucks given. Clangy sounds are that way, and food is THIS way. Besides it was probably a trap or something completely unexpected, because "completely unexpected" just defines your life ever since you set tentacle-tip in this oxygenated shithole. So fuck that.

As you finally exit the corridors and find a door leading to the cavernous, still burning cargo bays, you hear a horrendous rending of steel behind you, and turn in time to find an automated Hunter-Kicker droid ripping its way through a bulkhead behind you.

And it looks pissed.

>NOPE
>FUCK YOUR RAILS AND DIE K'LANG K'LANG K'LANG K'LANG
>Other?

>> No.19140788

>>19140783
NOPE

AND I MUST SPEAK TO YOU

>> No.19140789

>>19140783
>Surrender

>> No.19140795

>>19140783

>> No.19140796

>>19140783
Pretend we are french

>> No.19140800

>>19140796
You don't even have to pretend!

>> No.19140802

>>19140783
>NOPE

>> No.19140806

>NOPE
It's what we do best

>> No.19140808

>>19140783
>FUCK YOUR RAILS AND DIE K'LANG K'LANG K'LANG K'LANG

>> No.19140810

>>19140783
>NOPE

Momma was smart on the day she named us.

>> No.19140819

>>19140783
NOPE

>> No.19140821

>>19140783
Nope.

>> No.19140827

>NOPE
We are N'oo'p, of course!

>> No.19140828

>>19140808
Wait, that does mean killing the HK droid, right?

>> No.19140834

>>19140783

Dont they have horror movies on Mars? Really should have NOPE'd out of there.

>> No.19140849

>>19140783
NOPE with the force of a thousand suns.

Food first. Killing annoying Deathbot later.

>> No.19140856

>>19140802
>Chryssalids

PTSDDog.jpef

>> No.19140861

The Hunter-Kicker droid peels the bulkhead back with an annoyed shrug of synth-skin tentacles, like its wrestling with those *fucking* blister packages they sell everything in back home. "N'OOOOOOOOOOOOP," it roars with guttural rage.

"NNOOOOOOOOOPE," you scream back, a bit shrilly, and take off through the cargo hold at a dead flumph. Behind you, the synth-droid rips free of the bulkhead with tremendous power and gives chase. The hold is a flaming maelstrom in many places, but here and there between cargo containers knocked askew are sheltered areas where the flames haven't heated the steel painfully hot. Into these you flee.

"I JUST WANTED A K'RUSSH SAAAAMIIICH" you wail miserably.

>Hide in one of those big cargo containers!
>Find a good spot and wait in AMBUSCADE!
>OTHER?

>> No.19140862

NOPE.

We are the Nopeonion, and this is what we do.

>fellows. irongoa

>> No.19140871

>>19140861
Ambushcade.
WE NEED OUR SAMMICH DAMMIT!

>> No.19140876

>>19140861
>Find a good spot and wait in AMBUSCADE!
It's hittin' time.

>> No.19140878

>Find a good spot and wait in AMBUSCADE!

>> No.19140881

>>19140800

>> No.19140890

>burning ship
>WAIT AROUND
>best_plan.jpg

Captcha, the MGS "!" isn't a word.

>> No.19140892

>>19140861
>Find a good spot and wait in AMBUSCADE!
Let's break us a Hunter-Kicker droid

>> No.19140893

>>19140861

IT'S BOUNCING TIME!

>> No.19140897

and now for something different

>> No.19140903

>>19140861
RUN

>> No.19140904

>>19140897
This one's scarier.

>> No.19140907

>>19140897
>mfw

>> No.19140919

>>19140897
well we can sleep soundly that the soviet union wont fall to the invaders...god help us when the war is over tho

>> No.19140928

>>19140897

Holy fuck, is that Balalaika in a Striker Unit?! RUN AWAY!

>>19140904

A-and REVY?!

...Never mind. Don't run. There's no point.

>> No.19140934

>>19140881
Aww they got vanilla pudding all over the Cossack.

>> No.19140940

We run like little bitch. With any luck the many pitfalls of the area will defeat it. Flawless plan.

>> No.19140943

>>19140897
>>19140904
All of my boners.

>> No.19140947

Thinking quickly, you duck into a crevice between two cargo containers, and draw back your human pry-bar, wishing fiercely that you'd brought that mighty human percussion-cap slugthrower with you.

The sinuous, sliding sound of the HK droid's synthetic tentacles sliding over the steel decking sends shivers up your nervous system, and you tighten sweaty tentacles on your pry-bar in nervous anticipation.

Your blow must be solid.

It must be swift.

IT MUST BE STAGGERINGLY POWERFUL.

You wind up, and with a MIGHTY SWING you plant the crowbar in the kicker 'droid's head. The bar vibrates madly, and you struggle to hang on to it when the 'droid thoughtfully assists by plucking it from your hand.

It pulls back with the bar, pulls waaay waay back up somewhere near the end of the ship, and whips the heavy steel bar down towards your skull with terrible velocity.

You watch your death approach.

>> No.19140954

>>19140934

>Vanilla pudding

hue hue hue hue hue hue

>> No.19140973

>>19140947
Catch the bar with our face.

>> No.19140975

The end of the pry-bar smashes into your skull with a mighty tickle.

You blink.

"YOU ARE IT" the droid states, and then turns and runs like hell.

>How do you feel about this?

>> No.19140978

>>19140934
That isn't pudding...

>> No.19140982

>>19140975
Remain cool, get a sandwich and then play tag with the bot.

>> No.19140984

>>19140975
This invasion is officially the most fucked invasion in the history of invading.

Lets just go find a sandwich.

>> No.19140985

That droid is clearly our brother in Nope.

That's cool.

Let's get that damn sandwich.

>> No.19140987

>>19140978
Ohh than it must be ice cream. That's mean man, you dont splash ice cream on a girl.

>> No.19140989

>>19140975
*ahem*

I believe I can summarize our feelings thus:

"...wat. Fuck it, I'm getting a sandwich."

>> No.19140990

>>19140975
Pic related.
WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK OF PHOBOS?

>> No.19140992

>>19140975
STILL HUNGRY

>> No.19140995

>>19140975
GODDAMIT. Those Quizkids need to work out the kinks on these things

>> No.19140997

>>19140975
>Uh.... what?

>> No.19140998

>>19140975
Scared and aroused.... so a normal day for me.

Get on IRC you aeronautical homosexual

>> No.19141002

>>19140975

>> No.19141004

>>19140975
I feel like we need a sammich.

Same as before, except maybe with the alium equivalent of a dry martini afterwards.

>> No.19141007

>>19140975
Very confused. Fuck it, back to the food hunt.

>> No.19141009

>>19140975
Well we are clearly it now, so we must catch him. After sammitch.

>> No.19141011

PLANEFAG:

I contacted Lord Licorice and he sad he added the tags to the quest threads from last week.

>> No.19141018

>>19140975
Fuck tag.
Acquire food.

>> No.19141022

I come from a feels you may not understand

>> No.19141035

>>19141022
Shit! Alright, everyone stay the fuck back and keep a hand on your wallets. And keep an eye on your kids, so they won't snatch them.

>> No.19141047

Here...here is your food.

>> No.19141048

>>19140987
I don't feel comfortable explaining this to you...

>> No.19141061

>elite hunter killer bot playing tag with people.

I am beginning to suspect that command is going to get us all killed or worse, tossed in some human prison camp.

>> No.19141063

As you watch your own god-damned Hunter-Kicker droid vanish into the flaming, smoke-choked stygian nightmare of an earthling nautical vessel converted to flying troop carrier - with your earthman pry-bar - you can only reach one logical conclusion.

This shit would be a lot easier to tolerate with a sammich in-tent.

Now that you've located the cargo containers, you start going through them one-by-one, checking the markings, until you locate one with general supplies. Cracking open the big access hatch, you manage to drag out a huge crate of delicious sammich, pre-made and ready to munch. Dragging the crate behind you with one tentacle, you munch on a sammich happily as you drag your prize past the charred bodies of your former comrades, huge, raging fires which was once tanks or valuable equipment, and of course pockets of noxious gasses and poisonous smoke, puddling in evil little clouds on the floor near the worst blazes.

But this sammich

is fucking

AMAZING.

Then the 'droid hits you from behind. You stagger as it wraps its limbs all around you and begins the painful, harsh constriction that is the trademark killing technique of synth-droids. As pain floods your body and your vision dims, you can think of only one thing to say.

"TAG, YOU'RE IT!"

The pressure enveloping you vanishes in an instant.

"... FUCK," the bot says, chagrin. "TRAINING MODULE COMPLETED. INPUT ORDERS."

>C:\>

>> No.19141064

>>19141048
What's so hard about explaining mayonnaise?

>> No.19141067

>>19140987
I know man, fucking mean assholes, must be that Kotters asshole too by the looks of it

>> No.19141072

>>19141063

c:\>dir/w

>> No.19141074

>>19141063
>DANCE THE CHARLESTON

Fuck this chickenshit outfit. It's time to go Full-Yossarian.

>> No.19141077

>>19141022
>gypsies

calling bullshit, their outfits match AND fit them, ergo their outfits were made for them, ergo they can't be gypsies.

>> No.19141078

>>19141072

>> No.19141082

>>19141063
Run nope.exe.

Ride the droid off into the sunset.

>> No.19141083

>C:\> go graze grass

>> No.19141089

>>19141048
Y...yogurt then? Is it yogurt?

>> No.19141094

>>19141063
Carry this fuckin' crate as we get the fuck out of this charnel boat. Maybe get another one, too.

>> No.19141096

>C:\> DANCE BATTLE

>> No.19141098

>Return pry bar

And I have nothing else.

>> No.19141103

>>19141047
Fuck, that's dirty.

>> No.19141106

>>19141064
When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much, sometimes the daddy puts sticky white stuff on the mommy's face.

>> No.19141108

So Martians instead o Witches this week? No objections.

And dangit Captcha you better be working right this time.

>> No.19141110

>C:\> Give me back my goddamn bar

>> No.19141111

>>19141106
Normal people don't just waste whipping cream like that.

>> No.19141113

>>19141063

C:\> I am programmed to be as loyal as a puppy

>> No.19141116

>>19141063
>C:\>Serve the Martian-God referred to as N'oo'p,.

>> No.19141120

>>19141063
Make it our loyal steed.
>>19141064
It's quite simple, insert Rod A into Slot A, can also be inserted into Slot B. Remove Rod A and reinsert it into the selected slot. Repeat until Orgasm.exe is executed. Should you choose Slot A it is recommended you have Anti-Pregnancy software installed otherwise Pregnancy.zip will open and load Baby.file, unless this is what you intended. Be sure to scan for viruses before and after.
I hope this explains it.

>> No.19141129

Name it hellcow

>> No.19141138

>>19141120
Lost me.

>> No.19141140

>>19141120
Magos, I have some screws left over... fucking Ikea.

>> No.19141143

>>19141077
haha oh WOW

>> No.19141155

>>19141120
So, wait. If you intend for Pregnancy.zip to open, it won't?

>> No.19141156

>>19141063
>C:\> SET CURRENT USER TO {ADMIN}
>C:\> IGNORE ALL {NONADMIN} PROMPTS
>C:\> COMPLETE SAMMICH EVACUATION
>C:\> IF COMPLETE THEN AWAIT FURTHER ORDERS

>> No.19141158

>>19141143
All that armor

>> No.19141159

>>19141140
This is a serious error. Go see your local apothecary.

>> No.19141161

>>19141156
This.

>> No.19141175

>>19141063

"Um," you say, uncertain. You are a proud member of the 117th SpearPoint Brigade, a combat demolitions engineer, hull-breacher, and general stormtrooper. Your job is to facilitate dynamically entering the FUCK out of things, places and people, not this tech-y shit.

To say nothing of droids... being droids. They're twitchy as hell, heavily depended on psicraft to properly calibrate, and they've literally got minds of their own, which makes things a lot more touch-and-go when, you know, gigantic ships go smashing into the ground and rock their noggins. Or they go on extended assignment/patrol with only one set of orders and no handlers.

Well, best not to take chances.

"Um, directory listing, slash... double-yew," you command.

"SEE COLON BACKSLASH CONTENTS OF MAIN DIRECTORY SECONDARY DIRECTORY TERTIARY DIRECTORY QUADRUPED DIRECTORY MAIN PROGRAM FILES SECONDARY PROGRAM FILES MURDERED PROGRAM FILES COMBAT TACTICS COMBAT TECHNIQUES OPSMANUAL EXTENDED_OPS_MANUAL PRIME_DIRECTIVES SECONDARY_DIRECTIVES TRAINING_MODES TEMP_FILES CONFIG-DOT-CMD GORILLAS-DOT-BAT MORE_GORILLAS.BAT APHRODITE_BALLZANG-DOT-EXE REGULAR BALLZANG-DOT-EXE LOGFILE.TXT KERNELDUMP-DOT-FNG DEADLY-OPERATING-SYSTEM-DOT-SHELL-EE-EX-TEE-"

"Oh fuck, slash P! SLASH P!" you scream at it, but you're too late. You sit there for another two minutes as the 'droid slavishly recites everything far, far too fast for you to follow.

>Try to activate a follow-the-leader training mode?
>Activate a search-and-detain protocol?

>> No.19141176

>>19141156
Well, if you're gonna be entirely sensible, sure.

>> No.19141182

>>19141158
>An Oscar

Well, *that* poor bastard is a dead man. Might as well send him up in a balloon lawn chair.

>> No.19141188

>>19141138

Well played.

>> No.19141189

>>19141155
Anti-pregnancy software prevents it from opening. To open Pregnancy.zip, simply uninstall it.

>> No.19141192

>>19141143

WELL PLAYED

>> No.19141193

>>19141175
Load gorillas.bat

>> No.19141195

>APHRODITE_BALLZANG-DOT-EXE
Oh lord.

>> No.19141196

>>19141188
>>19141192

Well played.

>> No.19141198

>>19141175
>Try to activate a follow-the-leader training mode?

SEAN HAS HELLCOW

MC HAS PLANE

IAN HAS PERRINE/GUN

NO'OP SHALL HAVE MARSBOT

>> No.19141199

>>19141175
Try to activate a follow-the-leader training mode?

We're going to have a giant droid bot that acts like the martian equivalent of a puppy.

>> No.19141200

>>19141175
>Try to activate a follow-the-leader training mode
All glory to the N'oo'p Alium.

>> No.19141201

>>19141175
Follow-The-Leader. Alternately, get at the OPSMANUAL

>> No.19141203

>Try to activate a follow-the-leader training mode?
>Activate a search-and-detain protocol?

Yes.

>> No.19141204

>>19141175
Display the PRIME_DIRECTIVES.
Failing that,
>Try to activate a follow-the-leader training mode

>> No.19141206

>>19141175
\Delete SYS32

>> No.19141208

>>19141175
Follow the leader. Pimp-bot is go.

>> No.19141209

>GORILLAS-DOT-BAT

Nothing could go wrong if we run this


nope

NOTHING, SO LETS DO IT

>> No.19141216

>>19141206
No, you fool, it's lunix.

That's like linux, but from the moon.

>> No.19141237

>>19141216
"It's a Lunix system! I know this!"

>> No.19141243

>>19141193

"Uh..." you say, uncertain. "Gorillas-dot-bat?"

"LOADING!" the bot bellows. Suddenly, its many tentacles flex outward madly, and from hidden compartments in its rubbery flesh it produces small, curved sticks.

They look a lot like... killysticks, in fact. Inferior to discs in every way, of course, but you suppose more space-efficient for internal storage.

"PLAYER. ONE," the bot says. Your pry-bar lands at your feet. You pick it up, but the steel is slick with your own sweat and it slides from your tent-tip, clattering to the floor.

"BAD THROW. PLAYER. TWO!" the bot states, and flings a killystick at you with immense force. From about five feet away. Only your involuntary twitch at the loudness of the droid's voice saves you from a smack in the face.

You're not saved from the concussive blast of the stick detonating against the cargo container behind you, though.

SWEET FUCK THEY ASPLODE

>NOOOOPE WITH OUR SAMMICH
>MY KILLYDISK SKILLS ARE HUGE

>> No.19141244

>>19141074
Catch 22 references don't phase planefag. Someone mentioned snowden a while back and he didn't get it.

>> No.19141253

>>19141237

thats a real build by the way.

fuck knows why they would use silly shit like that on the computers that are supposed to be making the dinosaurs not kill us, but there you go.

>> No.19141256

>Gorillas.bat

>> No.19141259

>>19141243
>MY KILLYDISK SKILLS ARE HUGE

YOU ARE HUGE! THAT MEANS YOU ARE HUGE TARGET!

CATCH AND THROW!

>> No.19141262

>>19141243
FUCK IT LET'S DO BOTH

1:Keep sammich in mandibles(???)
2: Rock the orefreighter at killydisk
3: Be moe with food in face

>> No.19141264

>>19141244

I read that book like eleventy billion years ago

I remember Red Badge of Courage better and I read that when I was, like, twelve

>> No.19141266

>>19141243
/END PROGRAM GORILLAS.BAT

And then

>NOPE

>> No.19141270

>>19141243
Killydisk. Skills. They ate. The best.

>> No.19141271

>MY KILLYDISK SKILLS ARE HUGE

This is the one thing we can never NOPE from.

THIS BAR OF MINE GLOWS WITH AN AWESOME POWER

>> No.19141272

>>19141159
I asked Tarkus to assist me with the assembly, but then he just took off with it. Damn Blood Ravens.

>> No.19141276

>>19141243

NOOOOOOOOOOOPE

>> No.19141280

>MY KILLYDISK SKILLS ARE HUGE
We are the greatest

>> No.19141285

>>19141243
/end gorillas.bat
WE MUST OBTAIN SAMMICH.

>> No.19141308

How different can killysticks be over discs?

>> No.19141330

>>19141308
>How different can X be over Y?

this question...

>> No.19141340

mfw robot thinks it can beat us in killystick

>> No.19141345

>>19141330
Distraction Italians.

>> No.19141350

KILLYDISC CHAMPION OF THE YEAR, ALL YEARS.

WE'LL WIN IT SO MANY TIMES THEYLL RENAME IT THE N'OO'P CUP.

>> No.19141355

This is how, two minutes later, you happen to come tearing out of the burning freighter at a dead flumph, sammich clamped in your mouth, crate of sammich in your tents and bar in your free prime-tent as you flumph like HELL.

"N'OOP!" somebody shouts, and you see S'pss and D'rrp being hustled along by an officer and a few weary-looking grunts some distance away. You alter course towards them, unable to scream past the delicious sammich in your craw.

"N'OOP, COME WITH ME IMMEDIATELY OR YOU'RE UNDER ARREEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" the officer's voice devolves into a shrill scream as the 'bot emerges from the rent in the hull behind you, concussive-killysticks flying every which way through the air like a little rain of silver boomydeath. Tentacles and weapons go flying everywhere, and soon you find yourself in a ditch with D'rrp, S'pss K'dt and that officer.

"DO SOMETHING," the officer says as a killystick tosses dirt over him from the rim of the ditch.

"Aren't you good with killysticks?" D'rrp asks desperately.

"Nah, he's a disc player," one of the grunts chimes in. "He doesn't know sticks worth a damn."

Is that so?

IS THAT SO, FAGGOT!?

>> No.19141360

>>19141345
>No Zuccini.
Crix, I am dissapoint.

>> No.19141368

>>19141355
> "He doesn't know sticks worth a damn."

THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY

>> No.19141369

>>19141360
>different unit

>> No.19141371

>>19141360
you are really dumb

>> No.19141386

Great big fuckoff explosions in the quest.
People talking about Italians in the thread.
Nasuverse canon discussions in the IRC.

All is well, children. All is well.

>> No.19141388

>>19141355

FUCK NO! STAND UP!

STAND THE FUCK UP!

LET'S DO THIS SHINDIG!

>> No.19141392

>>19141355
Bitchlunar better back the fuck up. We are THE SHIT at anything killy.

>> No.19141408

Flinging yourself up out of the ditch, ,you wield your pry-bar before you in both hands, and start smashing at incoming killysticks with wild abandon. Striking them side-on, away from the detonator cap, you're soon sending whizzing sticks every which way, including a few dangerously close to that prick of an officer. The steel bar is superior to the usual defense-stick, strong and very light. Fuck tourney-legal. Today, you are STICK-FIGHTING CHAMPION.

And finally, with a mighty blow, you smash a killystick right back at the 'bot. It impacts right in the kisser and sends it skull-over-tentacles backwards, landing in a tangled knot of defeated tentacles.

You rest your weapon across your tent-tops, and slouch back arrogantly.

"I said, I never had much USE for one," you drawl with supreme confidence. "Never said I didn't know how to USE one."

>Go with officer
>Punch bot in skull to establish dominance
>Abscond with your sammiches and fuck errybody
>Else?

>> No.19141417

>Abscond with your sammiches and fuck errybody
Duh.

>> No.19141421

>>19141408
Punch bot in skull to establish dominance

We showed him who the boss it, he will be our loyal companion and steed for the rest of time.

>> No.19141422

>>19141408
>Punch bot in skull to establish dominance

BITCH IS NOW OUR PET

>> No.19141425

>us
>bad at trowing shit.

you damned mother-tangler! ill show you 'shit at sticks'

>> No.19141427

>>19141386

Nasu? Where?

>> No.19141428

>>19141371
No. Just not canon obsessive as you.
>>19141408
Must assert dominance.

>> No.19141429

>>19141408
>Abscond with your sammiches and fuck errybody

>> No.19141430

>Punch bot in skull to establish dominance
>Abscond with your sammiches and fuck errybody
VGTG

>> No.19141431

>>19141408
>Go with officer but refuse to surrender sammich

If we don't go, they might take our sammiches away.

>> No.19141433

>>19141408
>Abscond with your sammiches and fuck errybody

>> No.19141434

>>19141408
>Abscond

Time to do what we do best!

>> No.19141438

>>19141408
Eat sandwich while going with officer.
Make sure you talk through it. "Shur?"

>> No.19141449

>>19141408
>Punch bot in skull to establish dominance

>> No.19141450

>"I said, I never had much USE for one," you drawl with supreme confidence. "Never said I didn't know how to USE one."

now give the baby back to the aboriginals so they'll save us from the redcoats.

>> No.19141469

>>19141408
>Punch bot in skull to establish dominance

We will have our pet.

>> No.19141492

>>19141450

>> No.19141534

>>19141492

Planefag,

Everyone on IRC is you.

Love,
Demetrious

>> No.19141544

Storming over to the downed 'bot, you stand above its miserable tangle of tentacles and raise your bar high.

"THIS BAR OF MINE," you scream madly, "GLOWS WITH AN AWWWESOME POWER!" You turn it in the meager island sunlight, letting the sunbeams glitter and shine along its blue-black surface. The 'bot trembles as it witnesses the majesty of the simple weapon that laid it low.

"QUALIFICATIONS COMPLETE," the 'bot states, rising to its feet. "FIELD ASSIGNMENT - MADE. INPUT ORDERS."

Well, who are you to argue?

"Follow me."

"AFFIRMATIVE."

"Better yet, tow along that sammich crate. Defend it from anybody except me."

"AFFIRMATIVE."

The officer opens his mouth, one tentacle-tip poised in the air as if making a minor objection.

"Do you think that officer would enjoy having his tentacles rammed up his elimination tube?" you ask the 'bot kindly.

The bot turns its cold, artificial eyes to the officer, whom shrinks back.

"NEG. A. TIVE."

For all their flaws, damn, when they shine, do they shine.

>> No.19141546

>>19141534
>Demetrious
So is PF black? This has been bugging me for months.

>> No.19141552

>>19141546

>> No.19141563

>>19141546
He's Greek. He's probably the one who covered adorable cossack in yogurt.

>> No.19141566

>>19141546
Should that even matter?

>> No.19141567

>>19141544
>Defend it from anybody except me.
Oh god yes.

>> No.19141568

>>19141552
Neat

>> No.19141571

>>19141544
Set Killbot's name t Ah'nld Zchwa'rznegr

>> No.19141577

>>19141546

No, we were just dicking around in IRC

>> No.19141578

>>19141563
>greek
pay debts, planefag.

>> No.19141584

>>19141566
No.

>> No.19141586

>>19141578
Fuck debts, acquire witches

>> No.19141593

>>19141563

>> No.19141601

>>19141584
My point exactly.

>> No.19141607

I love obscure jokes!

>> No.19141611

I'm just gonna leave this here...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xW1Sv29C59U

>> No.19141614

>>19141578

DO I LOOK LIKE A BHANK

DO AH

WHELL DO I

>> No.19141617

>19141601
Were you the guy who got mad at me for saying niggers are obnoxious?

>> No.19141623

>>19141593

>> No.19141626

>>19141611
OH FUCK YOU

>> No.19141628

>>19141593

>> No.19141633

>>19141628
Shut up and save it for later.

>> No.19141653

>>19141611

GOD FUCKING DAMMIT PANZER

>> No.19141655

>>19141614
Oh course not. Banks have money.

>> No.19141659

>>19141623
Someone else asked me to post it.. I forget who it was though

>> No.19141673

>>19141653
I didn't do it! I swear!
http://www.mediafire.com/?dl5jo68valn5t
I only upload shit to mediafire! Youtube is for idiots... And you couldn't handle my canadian accent eh?

>> No.19141675

>>19141345
Good heavens what's wrong with the mouth on...whoever that is on the far right?

>> No.19141685

"... okay," the officer says at length. "Um. Anyways. Command wants to de-brief you."

"Good for them," you mutter through your sammich.

The officer takes a step forward. "You don't understand, they-"

The bot tightens his tentacles around the sammich crate and snarls menacingly, sending the officer scampering away.

"Uh, I mean, they want to fly you out. Of here."

You stop mid-bite. "Ouff off thish shish-hole?" you say with a mouthful of food.

"Yes! Yes!" the officer says hurriedly.

"And I can take D'rrp and S'pss and my new friend and my sammiches with me, right?"

The officer shakes his head. "Come on, you know better then that."

You shrug your tent-tops. "Oh well. Guess I'll stay in this pocket surrounded by earthman armies shelling us constantly until we're all killed, with nothing to lose and a powerful hunter-kicker droid at my beck and call. Fuck, I'm bored. We should play t-"

"FINE FINE FUCK," the officer shouts, flinging his tentacles up in exasperation. "TAKE THEM ALL WITH YOU I DON'T FUCKING CARE!" He flumphs off in a huff, looking extremely pissed.

Well, that went well.

>Actually fly out?
>Fuck da police, stay in the Pocket and go your own way
>If you do that, where/what do?

>> No.19141697

>>19141685
>Actually fly out?

Fuck yes. Lets get the fuck out of here.

>> No.19141698

>>19141685
WE UNLOCKED NEW ZONE?

Let us go and liberate their munchies from the horrid earthling oppressors.

>> No.19141700

>>19141685
FLY AWAY NOW

>> No.19141706

>>19141685
Actually fly out

We BEST GET PROMOTIONS AND OR MEDALS OUT OF THIS

>> No.19141707

>>19141685
>Fly the fuck outta here.
>Go back to Normandy.
>Become Supreme Commander on Earth.
>FUCK DA POLIZ.

>> No.19141708

>>19141685
>Actually fly out?
Let's leave this hellhole. Probably to be sent to an even worse hellhole but fuck it.

>> No.19141709

>>19141685
Get the fuck up out of here.

>> No.19141711

>NOPE the fuck outta this shithole

>> No.19141712

>>19141655

>> No.19141713

>>19141685
TIME TO GET OFF THIS SHITHOLE, ACQUIRE BITCHES, AND EAT SAMMICHES.

>> No.19141714

>>19141673

..I hate you. So. Fucking. Much.

>> No.19141723

>>19141714
Why would you hate me? You hate communism? My feeling is crushed....

>> No.19141728

>>19141723
You only had one feeling?

>> No.19141741

>>19141728
Not anymore

>> No.19141744

>>19141741
>Sexualizing both our surrogate little sisters

I hate you

>> No.19141748

>>19141741
Well now you can be a soulless killing machine.

>> No.19141751

>>19141728
It's communism, he had to give the others to his feel-less товарищи.

>> No.19141757

>>19141744
Nope that looks pretty clean to me. You've just got your mind in the gutter, you pig.

>> No.19141760

>>19141741
>Adorable cossack with adopted little sis

Only if they manage a co-op bounce on the MEHREENS shall we bless this union

>> No.19141775

>>19141744

That's Panzer for you. Most of the time he's a good guy, but once in a while...

>> No.19141782

>>19141741

>> No.19141786

I don't know how much it matters, but I still love you Panzer
[nospoileron/tg/]I really just need a reason to noko since I cleared my cookies and cache.

>> No.19141792

rolled 87 = 87

>>19141741
So what was crushed, and which did you find?

>> No.19141799

>>19141786
Get 4chanX

>>19141775
Most of the time he's an attention whore

>> No.19141800

>>19141723
>My feeling is crushed
By lieutenant Hartmann?

>> No.19141817

>>19141800
Would feelings take more or less kg of force to crush than a testicle?

>> No.19141826

Oh and Kotters~

For old times' sake~

>> No.19141829

>>19141817
The tensile resistance of feelings are approximately 123 KGs/cm

>> No.19141832

>>19141826
>Forgetting your trip

Shit Panzer, get it together

>> No.19141835

>>19141817

Depends on the person.

>> No.19141849

>>19141817
I think it would depend on the feeling. Hate would be quite resilient. Love, it all depends on how the force is applied, more than how much.

>> No.19141858

>>19141826
>>19141832

>> No.19141875

>>19141826
Was wondering why I kept getting duplicate fild found

>> No.19141896

>>19141875

Sorry 'bout that. You snooze, you lose.

>> No.19141913

Several hours later, you're crammed into the cargo compartment of a light cargo craft, flying near the Earth out of the enemy island and towards friendly territory on the far side of the big straight. Curled up in the cramped quarters, you grimly munch on another sammich as your new 'bot purrs softly in sleep-mode, recharging its internal biosack-cells or whatever the hell it calls 'em.

"So," S'pss K'dt calls from the front, where he's letting the primary pilot do most of the work. "You've been quiet."

"I'm trying not to think too much," you tell him. "Because when I do I remember I'm thirty million miles from home and surrounded by kill-crazy aliums."

"Don't you want to know why Command wants you?"

"Does it make a difference? They've screwed the sarlacc six ways to sunrise, man. What difference does it make, really?"

"Might make a lot," Sp'ss K'dt replies. "According to rumors, you're the first Martian to stand within six feet of those Earthlings you slammed the door on and survive."

"They were males," you snort. "I thought Command was shitting their pants over those psionic bints."

"PSEUDO-psionic," Sp'ss stresses. "We really don't know exac-"

"Oh my apologies," you cut him off. "They use OTHER psionics. Come on. They fly around with itty bitty units, they summon energy with no other possible source, they block masers and rockets with flashy shields - psionics. Durr."

>> No.19141917

"No, man," Sp'ss says, swiveling his chair around to face you. "They're different. They're really, really different. They say that plane that hit your transport was putting out jamming and ECM like..."

"Like what?"

"Like a Martian."

You lower your sammich, grave-faced. "Like, *proper* psi/electromagnetic-"

"Yeah."

"... captured Martian? Captured tech?"

"Psionic humans?" Sp'ss counters. "And if THEY'RE psionic, then what the hell are their FEMALES using?"

You both ponder that quietly.

>Have YOU encountered them, Sp'ss?
>What's Command's take on this?
>Other question?

>> No.19141922

>>19141917
>Have YOU encountered them, Sp'ss?

>> No.19141926

>>19141917
>>19141913
Shit tenticles, eat sammich

>> No.19141928

>>19141917
>Have YOU encountered them, Sp'ss

inb4 Sp'ss was the ace we dueled.

>> No.19141931

>>19141917
>>Have YOU encountered them, Sp'ss?


Martians confirmed for gnomes.

>> No.19141932

>>19141917
>What's Command's take on this?

>> No.19141934

>>19141917
"Did we... did we ever come here in the distant past and knock up a girl or two?"

>> No.19141935

>>19141913

>sarlacc

Mah nigga

>> No.19141936

>>19141917
Ask Sp'ss

>> No.19141940

>>19141659
>>Have YOU encountered them, Sp'ss?

>> No.19141945

>>19141917
>Have YOU encountered them, Sp'ss?

The fuck you say?

>> No.19141950

>>19141935

>> No.19141952

>Have YOU encountered them, Sp'ss?

>> No.19141953

Suddenly, plot relevant shit in N'oo'p Quest

>> No.19141957

>>19141917
>like a martian
So, men are from mars?

>> No.19141960

>>19141957
PLANEFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAG

>> No.19141964

panzer is a poophead

>> No.19141974

>>19141964
NO CRIX NO

>> No.19141975

>>19141950

NOPE.

>> No.19141993 [DELETED] 

>>19141975
NO SHIRLEY NO! THATS NOT HOW YOU PICK UP A LEETLE SISTAH

>> No.19141996

>>19141957
More importantly, is venus filled with a beutiful all-female race who must be taught this earth custom of kissing?

>> No.19141998

>inb4 its mad gnome skillz on a radio being mistaken for psionics

>> No.19142015

>>19141964
>Looks like you're even less popular than me"perrine sniggers

OH SNAP

>> No.19142025 [DELETED] 

>>19141993
I am going to hunt you down, cut off your balls and force feed them too you. HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO THE ADORABLE COSSACK!

>> No.19142040

>>19141993
JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE FUCK MAN

THATS THE FUCKING ADORABLE COSSACK WHY WOULD YOU

>> No.19142042

what a shame

>> No.19142046 [DELETED] 

>>19141975
Put a god damn bra on! this isn't /a/! We have class here!

>> No.19142048

>>19141996
Give us some sugar

>> No.19142052

>>19142048
That sure is some strange carapace placement.

>> No.19142072

>>19142048
>>19142046
>>19141975

Okay, okay, enough.

>> No.19142073

>>19142052

Her Hivefleet absorbed the biomass of Planet Vallejo X.

>> No.19142076

>>19142048
MAKE IT HAPPEN PLANEFAG

>> No.19142079 [DELETED] 

>>19142048
>>19142042
>>19141975
>>19141964
>>19141623
>>19141659
Mod's are up now. Delete it.

>> No.19142094

>>19142079
>Posting via chant
>Can't delete posts
>Whatcouldgowrong.jpg

>> No.19142102

>>19142079
I wish
I could
Hate you
To death

Signed: Anon

>> No.19142113 [DELETED] 

>>19142102
Get in line.
Mods are waking up soon, since we've got a pony bitching thread going on.

>> No.19142117

>>19142102
>>19142094

>> No.19142141

>>19142102

>> No.19142161

>>19142079
Mods getting involved over pictures of fapfic? Really?
I mean, I know quest threads pull in normalfags and newfags by the dozen, but really?

>> No.19142194

>>19142161
just ignore him

>> No.19142227

>>19142194
I try~

>> No.19142236

I sat down "for just a second" and woke up about twenty minutes later, so I'm bowing to the inevitable and calling it a night. I'll try to run either n'oop or the Quest proper either tomorrow night, or Saturday or Sunday night.

Stay tuned, I guess. My brain s durf.

>> No.19142244

>>19142173
I recall the last time people were saying similar things in SWQ. It ended with my posts being deleted, me being banned for the wrong reason, and a chump driving me out to Brownwood to get lunch.

Not saying I didn't deserve the ban, but the reason was silly.
>post NSFW in SFW board
>get banned for spam/advertising
I'm not making any sense from that.

>> No.19142246

>>19142236
Get on irc you, you double planefag!

>> No.19142252

>>19142236
But I must speak to you!!

>> No.19142254

>>19142236
Alright, planefag, go sleep.

>> No.19142258

>>19142236
Shame. Well, the thread's archived, so you can sod orf.

>> No.19142262

>>19142236
Do you type quests standing up? Thanks for the N'oop quest though.

>> No.19142269

>>19142236

A'ight. See you tomorrow.

>> No.19142285

>>19142236
get some rest airialvehicalsexual

>> No.19142297

>>19142236
Go sleep. Troll Panzer. I'll keep his tears safe for you.

Boo-yah. No archive tonight since it's not SWQ.

>> No.19142301

>>19142236
Night Metallic flying apparatus nonheterosexual

>> No.19142316

>>19142297
That is seriously just the cutest thing. I want a pet sloth.

>> No.19142330

>>19141964
>>19142042

>Making an image from my board
I like you, that's why I'm going to kill you last.

>> No.19142339

Why is this thread so terrible, aside from OP?

>> No.19142341

>>19142297
Ill run TWQ tomorrow unless planefag cockblocks me. I'll start at 8:00 just to be safe

>> No.19142362

>>19142339
Because it's SWQ. It's always like this. No exceptions.

But it's worth it.

>> No.19142372

>>19142339
Go away summerfag, you know nothing of SWQ.

>> No.19142376

>>19142362
Needs more sanya though

>> No.19142388

>>19142372
In his defense, this place has become a bit of a circlejerk. I'll attribute that to anons not caring about N'oo'p though.

>> No.19142402

>>19142316

>> No.19142405

>>19142339
That's how quests normally work. Except when the bloke running it is also terrible. Which is the real norm for quests.

Are you new to quest threads?

>> No.19142444

...

>> No.19142575

>>19142444
What did that PzIV ever do to you?!

>> No.19142585

>>19142575
It's pretty low res.

>> No.19142596

>>19142585
Yeah...

And it's actually a PzIII/IV.

>> No.19142604

HEY GUYS
GUYS
HEY
SOME FAGGOT WAS WRITEFAGGING STUFF ON /d/
IT'S NOT WITCHES BUT I THINK YOU'LL LIKE IT ANYWAY
http://pastebin.com/8YYuG5z7
Times like this I wish /d/ had an archive page that isn't chanarchive. Only half of the first thread is archived (search for jet porn), and everything after that has been deleted by janitors/mods before being archived.
Also author's Tumblr:
http://a-10writer.tumblr.com/

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