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[ERROR] No.18868593 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Guardsman, I got orks bearing down on our lines, talk of cowards in my ranks and my bolter round delivery has been delayed again.

So you best have a good reason for barging into my tent unannounced, unless you just wanted to see what happens when a commissar runs out of patience.

Well speak up kid, I aint got all day!

>> No.18868621

>>18868593

Y-y-you too!

>> No.18868630

I just wanted to let you know that you have the complete support of me and the rest of the men!

(get it? support? like a bra? It's because she has big boobs.)

>> No.18868650

Warpstorm soon fellow Imperial.

>> No.18868657

This isn't you tent, it's mine, and I don't answer to you, now get the fuck out of here before I put this do whatever I feel like badge to use.

>> No.18868666

>>18868593

Ma'am! I wanted to charge in here and suggest that we attack with a hard, rigid column, hammering down between that massive valley.

>> No.18868672

>>18868650
Oh really? When?

>> No.18868709

Commissar, I am detecting... Noticeable Warp taint in this area.

>> No.18868744

>>18868593
I have an orders from commander-general himself, you and your incompetent bunch are to rendevouz with major-sergeant Hossel and take front line trenches in 2 hours from now. This tent, encampement and a battle zone are assigned to 117th Vostroyan Firstborn regiment. Artillery screen to cover your dislocation was scheldued to start over an hour ago. Emperor guide you.

>> No.18868755

>>18868593

Ar...Are you a failed Space Marine?

Like instead of being a man, you were a woman; and instead of being full of muscle all that potential mass went to your tits?

>> No.18868762

>>18868593
"Inquisitor? Yes, I our commisar is a hideously disproportionate woman, possible mutation in the chest area. I suggest investigation and purging with holy prometheum."

>> No.18868764

guardsmen die in their thousands to protect such glorious breasts from xenos, traitors and heretics.

it is with a smile that the last thing they see is a little jiggle.

After the battle is over, their souls watch down from the Emperor's side as she does the sacred rite of burying each dead man's face (at least those who still have faces) in her bosom for one second, one second and then the souls are consumed by the emperor.

>> No.18868781

I want you to barge into my tent unannounced... the tent on my pants, that is!

>> No.18868796

>>18868762

*BLAM*

Inquisitor? Sir, I profusely apologize for the rashness in my predecessor's actions. No investigation nor purging it required.

>It's Heresy to speak out against those tits...

>> No.18868802

– I-I... I l-love you, Commissar!

>> No.18868842

>>18868796
*BLAM*
Lord inqisitor, the man who previously contacted you gave his life to draw out a traitor whom I have executed, we will need a full investigation here.
I suggest bringing lots of prometheum.
And some macro flagellation engines.

>> No.18868851

Ma`am, the psyker is twitching and mumbling more than usual, I thought you might want to know.

>> No.18868858

>>18868593
A thousand apologies Lord commissar, but we are fighting orks and I notice our Hellhound division has not been deployed. Might I suggest we do so before the warband arrives?

Also, The troops in the trench seem rather calm. I really think that gathering and large feast a few days ago has done wonders for their morale. Food for thought

>> No.18868861

>>18868842
*BLAM*
Most prestigious High Lord Inquisitor, I fear that you are being bothered by a deeply layered web of corruption. The man you were just speaking to was a traitor attempting to weed out another traitor from a separate faction.

All traitors have been dealt with and the glorious work of the Emporer may now continue here. Again, I apologize for your time and reassure you that you need not bother yourself with an investigation.

>> No.18868885

Ma`am, I have a report from- OH SWEET MERCIFUL THRONE OF TERRA WHATS WRONG WITH YOUR CHEST?

>> No.18868901

>>18868885
Simply a gift from His "Eminence" obviously courier. Now what have the astropaths relayed unto you?

>> No.18868907

>>18868861
Considering the sheer amount of treason going on here, we should have an investigation anyway. Just to be safe, if for no other reason.

>> No.18868914

>>18868593

"Sorry Commissar, but I made poopy in my pants"

>> No.18868933

>>18868907

Oh, fuck...GUARDSMEN! Their gonna find out about our Commissar's massive tits!

WE HAVE TO KEEP THE INQUISITOR BUSY WHILE WE HIDE THOSE SWEATER PUPPIES!

Good thing I know just the plan...

>> No.18868956

>>18868933
Surely you would not cover the "Emperor's finest" Let the guardsmen look on and see the glory that can be theirs should they succeed.

>> No.18868972

>>18868956

Come on, you know how those Inquisitor dicks are! They're gonna come down here, take one quick look at those mounds that had to have been hand crafted by the God-Emperor himself, AND THEY'LL SNATCH 'ER UP!

Just like that! We'll loose our beloved Commissar and our will to fight!

>> No.18868980

Guardsmen, as a high inquisitor, I assure you that oversized breasts are not always a mark of the warp or the dark powers. If you think I am going to execute some random commisar, just because she has massive boobs, you are mistaken about the nature of the inquisition. Now if she only had one massive boob, then there would be purging with holy promethium. In fact, let me go talk to the commisar to show EMPEROR PRESERVE ME! THOSE THINGS ARE LIKE BANEBLADE ROUNDS.

COMMISAR, THOSE CHEST ROUNDS OF YOURS BEST BE THE WAY YOU IMPROVE TROOP MORALE, OTHERWISE THERE IS GOING TO BE SOME PURGING DUE TO FRAUD WASTE AND ABUSE.

>> No.18868988

>>18868956
Those mishappen fleshbags are NOT the emperor's finest.

Let's hope that the inquisitor has a few of the real emperor's finest in his retinue.

>> No.18868993

>>18868972
Then I suppose you will fight to defend her. Why, not show them what she truly means to the troops morale?

>> No.18869012

>>18868980

>My morale goes up everytime my Commissar thrusts her bolter up into the air. Her arm pumping so vigorously...

>> No.18869029

>>18868988
I Assure you I have two sisters in my retinue. Apparently your commisar was blessed by the emperor to improve troop morale in a different way, thus explaining your units meritorious record. The investigation here was initially to see what was causing your unit to preform so well. Now we know. Me and my retinue are leaving, you all continue doing what your doing...

>> No.18869048

>>18869029
Mister inqusitor, could you leave part of your retinue? We hear that the sisters battle prowess and zealousness is legendary and they could really assist us in our up coming battle against the orks!

>> No.18869060

well, I'm glad to see that cleared up.
Now, let's kill some heretics. Who wants to exterminatus a daemon world?

>> No.18869070

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HsGRsDe3iRw&list=FLQ6zJ9heTuDUPVprvqUEyxA&index=2&feature
=plpp_video

Scream to heard, ma'am.

>> No.18869081

>>18868593
Hey, sis, care to show us your template weapons? Orks are just outside and we are all out of flamers.

>> No.18869095

>>18869070
BLAM
HERESY

>> No.18869102

"Well I suppose I should be off before the battle. Need to get my squadron ready. please keep in mind what I said about the Hell hounds Lord Commissar."

>> No.18869104

>>18869048
>>18869081
My Sisters and retinue will stay with you. I got shit to take care of involving this..>>18869070

>> No.18869123

>>18869104
>>18869095

Love you too.

>> No.18869136

>>18869123

Ah Foron you yet live. You should be wary around those inquisitors, no need to show our true colors until the right time. I have a squad of my finest troops prepared to do the work of our lord at a moment's notice. Mayhaps we shall rejoin with your squad on the battlefield?

>> No.18869197

>> No.18869201

>>18869136

Ahh, lets.
But do forgive me, I am entranced by this song at the moment. >>18869070

>> No.18869224

Commisar, I just wantit to say to you I'm the breast there is at surveying the enemy lines, and if mammary serves, they should be holding out at the funbag factory down the road. The artillery guys and me have put our melons together and with the next attack, we could have them by the chesticles, m'am.

>> No.18869231

>>18868593

oh shit I'm sorry

>> No.18869250

TOTALLY HUMAN GUARDSMAN:Oy, hum, eh I mean guardsboyz, me and me guardboyz 'ere are new transfers, where's the pile a' dakka?
HIS TOTALLY HUMAN GUARDSMAN FRIEND: The armry, ya gitz, its called the armry.
TOTALLY HUMAN GUARDSMAN: yeah, that armry thing, where its at?

>> No.18869303

>>18869250
Speak up, you mumble like two idiots, not that it would be different from this planet. Armory is Behind the Motor pool. See the quartermaster on duty for your gear...though it's obvious that you two are probably failed ogryn experiments.

>> No.18869415

>>18869303
TOTALLY HUMAN GUARDSMAN: Failed ogryns, that's us, betta get to that dakka

>> No.18869424

This thread really shouldn't be on the front page. There's nothing I can do about it, though, so I'm just going to sage it, report it and hide it and hope it goes away.

>> No.18869462

>>18869424
HERESY!
*blam*
...
*blam* *blam* *blam*

>> No.18869468

>>18869424
Good for you, mysterious defender of /tg/, you're making a difference.

>> No.18869474

This, AGAIN?
Op, seriously, why?
Same thread with same words.

>> No.18869485

>>18869224
It appears you have some sort of speech impediment guardsmen.

>> No.18869505

You wanna know what I think?
I think you're some kind of deviated prevert. I think the Inquisition found out about your preversion, and you're organizing some kind of mutiny of preverts.

>> No.18869659

Have you had your moo juice yet commissar?

>> No.18869671

Anyone else find it ironic that the most masculine-looking woman in Galaxy Angel has the biggest tits?

>> No.18869697

>>18869505
It's a pity you won't live long enough to tell anyone your theory.

>> No.18869710

>>18868593
Tha...that is just grotesque.

How could the Gue'la find this attractive?

>> No.18869717

>>18869485
Wez ogryns, ya insentativ heretic!

>> No.18869719

>>18869710
Of course the Tau wouldn't find it attractive, after all she's not even wearing a diaper.

>> No.18869742

>>18869697
You try any preversions and I'll blow your head off.

>> No.18869747

GUARDSMAN? HA HA HA, GOOD ONE, COMMISSAR. NOW STAND ASIDE, MY BROTHERS AND I MUST MEET THE ORK MENACE IN GLORIOUS COMBAT!

>> No.18869775

>>18869747

TOTALLY HUMAN GUARDSMAN: we'z right behind ya with all of blasty dakka. Don't worry about us ransacking your huts as soon as you go off and attack.
TOTALLY HUMAN GUARDSMAN'S TOTALLY HUMAN FRIEND:Cus we sure won't do dat
TOTALLY HUMAN GUARDSMAN: nope, not schemin that at all.

>> No.18869835

>>18869775
BEHIND US? COMMISSAR, YOUR SOLDIERS ARE AS DIMWITTED AS THEY ARE WEAK. LISTEN HERE, CANNON FODD- ER, SERVANT OF THE EMPEROR, YOU CHARGE AHEAD WHILE WE GO DO IMPORTANT STUFF.

>> No.18869907

TOTALLY HUMAN GUARDSMAN: Got it boss, CHARGE
TOTALLY HUMAN GUARDSMAN'S TOTALLY HUMAN FRIEND: wait, dey told us to charge in the udder direkshun
TOTALLY HUMAN GUARDSMAN: well, that's where da boyz are, ya gitz! We charge dis way, the oomies charge da boyz and we hit from behind
TOTALLY HUMAN GUARDSMAN'S TOTALLY HUMAN FRIEND: You sure is smart, Mork would be proud

>> No.18870892

>>18869907
Imperial Guardsman: By the Emperor! We are being attacked by our own men! To arms!

>> No.18870909

>>18869747
>MY BROTHERS AND I

More like, bed-brothers. Fucking flaming canon-stues. The only thing you and your brothers are good for, is drawing fire with your obnoxious color schemes that give away your entire force 3km's out.

>> No.18870930

>>18869835
Whu-Je, But i was going to oggle the comm-
This is So Unfair.
Have to affix bayonets and charge stupid orks and stuff.
This would be different if i was a Sargent I bet, could get like a chainsword, but nooo, I wanted to be front line infantry.

>> No.18870932

>>18870892
I only have one arm sir.

Ork ate the other.

>> No.18871160

>>18870909
>bed-brothers
I you implying that there's something wrong with the Most Glorious Buttsex in the name of the Emperor?

Because that's heresy.

>> No.18872290

>>18869070
Such sweet music to my ears.

You have pleased me, I reward you with a unit of Daemonettes

>> No.18872454

>>18869070

>Serbian Film

I really, really wish I could hate people to death. Kurojepci.

>> No.18875957

>>18872290
>I reward you with a unit of Daemonettes

I-Is that a good thing...?

>> No.18875973

Ooh, tits.

>> No.18875984

>>18875957
Yes.... in bed

>> No.18875986

>>18869070

>> No.18877459

>>18875957
Depends

>>
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