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[ERROR] No.18664675 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

What's the most hardcore thing you ever done in an RPG?

Bonus points if you were not on fire.

>> No.18664696

Plane shifted to Baator (as a lone Bard) to complain that the recurring villain Devil they kept sending against us was incompetent.

>321 caVisma

Actually I had 24 chaRisma, you silly captcha

>> No.18664704

Source?

>> No.18664711

>>18664704
Harvester, an old point&click game from '96.

It is beyond insane.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIToXkiJU-8

>> No.18664722

>>18664675
Cut my own throat after getting mind-swapped with a daemonhost due to hurrperils.

I was a Dialogus.

>> No.18664734

>Fight on a cliff with some mage-type thing
>bodycheck mage so we both go off the cliff
>mage splatters on rocks
>take the damage, stand up, dust off, light a cigarette, heal.

>> No.18664735

>>18664711
Thanks.

>> No.18664738

I jump-packed through a hive-tyrant.
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD.
GRIBBLY BITS FOR THE TECH-HERETIC'S BACKPACK!

>> No.18664746

The most hardcore thing I can remember right now is repeatedly summoning skeletons and fighting them for sword training on my first character in Morrowind before I knew what the fuck was going on.

Otherwise there's the obligatory retardedly lengthy collection quests.

>> No.18664748

I once fought a Paladin golem made of 6 (or was it 8) Paladins combined.

>> No.18664763

I had just read about Skill Tricks in 3.5 and fell in love with the concept, always wanting a crunch way to do awesome flips and shit.

The resulting character with a Swashbuckler, named Drake, we had tweaked to be a rapier crit-whore so he wasn't useless in combat.

However, since I was so in love with skill tricks, Drake bet one of the member's of the guild that he would complete this first mission without 'drawing his weapon.'

The mission involves investigating a town where a bell rings whenever someone is born or dies. A string of random murders has appeared and we need to solve it and find the culprit.

Through all the combat, Drake isn't drawing his weapon and is just running around taunting people into advantageous positions for his other allies. He uses the skill tricks to the best of his ability to leap around and stay out of reach from the enemies.

Flash forward to the end, we tracked the bad guy to being a priest in the church the strange bell was housed in. Turns out he's part of an evil guild that's looking for rings that can control forces of nature. This particular one was housed around the clacker of the large bell and had power over life/death. The evil guild guy is actually an insanely powerful artificer that constructed a mechanical Else-Whale that just brought some of his other toys to the town to attack.

Half the party goes to protect the town, the other half stays to fight the artificer. He's loaded down with wands and it's the sorcerer, the fighter, and Drake. Drake continue to run around, drawing fire as much as possible from the artificer's multiple wand activations a round.

In a big cinematic, the fucking else-whale slams into the bell tower and collapses half of it, bringing the bell crashing down, Drake barely made the reflex save to avoid being smashed.

>> No.18664765

>>18664748
QUICK ALPHA I NEED 6 PALADIN WITH ATTITUDE

>> No.18664772

My 60 year old Adept in Dark Heresy killed 6 armed hive scum with a kitchen knife.

>> No.18664778

Hmm... close run thing between a kobold jumping on an ancient blue dragon and blinding it with flare stakes, or shooting myself in the face to avoid being forced into a faustian pact with an atropal (while also having sufficient measures to ensure someone thought to rez me).

>> No.18664804

>>18664763
And then? That's not exactly a clean wrap-up to your story.

>> No.18664822

I was playing a necromancer and the DM had made the mistake of letting us face the skeleton of a former cloud giant. A spell with no save later, we had a Gargantuan undead buddy in our party. We named him Mockingbird.
After this, we proceeded to conquer the capital city of the kingdom (it was an evil campaign, as you might already have guessed) and just as we were settling into our new home an army came to bring an early end to our newly-born reign of terror.
This army had dragons.
Golden dragons.
Mounted by high-level paladins.
Now we were in the mid-high levels but we had almost zero chance of winning.
So as my small undead army (with some golems to boot) confronted the goody-two-shoes army in front of the castle, we moved the fight to the upper spaces. Mockingbird climbed to the tallest tower of the castle, holding me and my monk buddy/bodyguard as I kept healing him with negative energy.
Then, the paladin and his dragon appeared. I managed to dispatch the Paladin with some SoD spells (it was 3.5 after all) but this enraged the dragon, who charged us ready to breath.
So I ordered Mockingbird to jump and to grapple the dragon mid-air. He did it, being a lovely mindless co-worker. And as I grabbed the monk to fly away from the blast, Mockingbird won the grapple contest too (by a grand margin of 1). The dragon, now unable to fly because of the giant skeleton pinning him mid-air, fell to the ground. The DM described this as Mockinbird performing a Tombstone on the dragon.
This was damn awesome if you ask me.

>> No.18664825

>>18664763

With the bell gone, the ring is exposed to be floating up in mid-air. The artificier starts flying up towards it.

I have a round before he can reach the ring. Through using all Drake's skill tricks and some fucking awesome acrobatics and climb checks he's able to run up the remains of the ladder, navigating across the broken pieces and vaulting himself a few times. At the end of the ladder he leaps off the wall and back-flips through the air, his hand stretched out as he makes the dex check to grab the ring.

Then the con check to not have his arm ripped out of his socket as the ring doesn't move and all that momentum goes crushing into his shoulder.

Drake is now left dangling in mid-air, holding onto the ring for dear life and watching the artificer laugh as he flies up closer and draws out a wand.

The artificer throws twin fireballs at Drake and...nothing. They disappear. It turns out the ring emanates a five-foot Null Magic field.

Unfortunately, the artificer had planned for that and let out a loud, shrill whistle.

The mechanical Else-Whale was still lodged into the tower and hadn't fallen down. It's mouth opened and a golem stood there holding two items.

A Bag Of Holding.

A Portable Hole.

Fuck.

The golem leapt down and put the items together, the DM actually rolled in front of us and it worked, a hole to the Astral Plane is ripped out and sucks in the golem, the ring, and Drake's entire left arm.

He fell a good 100 feet and slammed into the stone floor, the damage bringing him down to 0 health. The DM said Drake could have one action.

Drake stuck up his right arm and flipped the artificer the bird, then stated "I only need one arm to defeat a toy-maker like you!".

>> No.18664871

I... I never did anything hardcore when playing an RPG.
Either I had definitely un-hardcore characters, or when I did, the DM was of the "PCs canNOT get shit done" persuasion and never let me get away with what I tried to do.

;_;

>> No.18665026

>>18664763
>>18664825

Got another story from a recent session.

>Playing a gnome Alchemist from another dimension where he was an explosives expert for the military.
>Name's Stan
>In the current world gnomes are repressed and many are being turned into mindless robotic servants.
>The dimensional jaunt has fucked with Stan's head, bringing out his latent pyromania.
>Party is riding towards the swamps where the next MacGuffin lies.
>Wagon breaks down in the middle of the road, blocking it.
>A procession of the religion that specifically hates gnomes is coming down the road, one of the high priests leading the way.
>Stan frantically tries to activate his glammer stone that would make him look human.
>Roll a 1 on the skill DC
>DM loves critical skill failures, so the glammer stone crackles and the glow dies away as it cracks. (The balance is critical skill successes are fucking amazing.)
>The procession stops at the wagon and commands the rubble be removed from their presence.
>They spot Stan not succeeding his stealth check.
>The high priest recognizes him as being part of this world's revolutionary force bent on freeing the gnomes. "The Mad Bomber", they called him.
>High Priest marches up to Stan with chains in hand and demands the party assist him in capturing the fugitive gnome.
>Stan grabs a bomb from his bandoleer and slams it into the ground separating him and the priest. Thanks to the Precise Bomb discovery, the blast doesn't hit Stan.
>With the priest on the ground, our elven archer leaps forward with a ready arrow and stabs the priest in the jugular.
>Stan calmly walks up, places another bomb in between the priest's teeth.

>> No.18665048

>>18665026

>"I kind of like the name 'Mad Bomber'... It's the kind of name that once you say it...you might get a bang out of it."
>Kicks the priest's lower jaw and blow his entire head off.
>The rest of the procession runs like fucking crazy.

>> No.18665060

>>18664772
areyouspetsnaz.jpg
http://rt.com/news/man-stabs-invaders-tula-586/

>"They just pounced on us and began to beat the baby. A seven-month baby! They held a pistol to his temple. They started beating up a seven-year-old girl and two three-year-old boys too. It was just…horrific!" recalls Sargsyan’s daughter-in-law, as reported by Channel One.

>After turning over all valuables and money, Sargsyan said he had nothing more to give, but the robbers would not take “no” for an answer. "They demanded [more money]. They had a knife and a gun… They stuck a gun in my mouth," Sargsyan said. However, the man allegedly managed to break free from their hold and dashed to the kitchen, where he grabbed a kitchen knife.

>“One of the attackers chased me, he did not see me straight away,” Sargsyan recalled. “I stabbed him in the stomach.” He stabbed the second one in the head, but the most important thing, he says, was “to knock down the one that held the gun. The rest was easy.”

>Sargsyan says knife fighting is a skill he acquired while serving in the army, as well as during the many years he has hunted.

>> No.18665085

Not me, but another player in a game of mine. GREENTEXT:

>D20 modern spec ops campaign
>Be driving away from people that are trying to kill us, who have stolen a police cruiser which is faster and basically better than our shitty sedan
>Efforts to shake them off our tail (grenades, automatic fire, and impending flamethrower) have failed
>Tech expert with 10 dex who hasn't succeeded in passing check the entire session except an irrelevant knowledge roll
>Leans out the window, shoots at driver
>17
>goes right through the window and pegs the driver in the forehead, causing the following car to go into a roll and gib everyone inside
>all of our faces when

>> No.18665095

>>18665060
>“I stabbed him in the stomach.” He stabbed the second one in the head, but the most important thing, he says, was “to knock down the one that held the gun. The rest was easy.”
>"The rest was easy"

>Sargsyan says knife fighting is a skill he acquired while serving in the army, as well as during the many years he has hunted.
>as well as during the many years he has hunted.
>knife fighting learned during hunting

>> No.18665103

>>18665095

>knife fighting learned during hunting

>> No.18665114

>Still a noob at D&D at the time of this, playing a level 5-ish Half-Orc Fighter
>Party looking down deep hole into the maw of a giant sand worm monster, shooting at it with arrows and magic
>Consider shooting at it, decide against it because I fucked up how to calculate damage for a crossbow and I didn't want to take the time to look through the books and delay combat for everyone else
>Instead, opt to leap onto the monster's face, screaming, and hit it with my ax.
>End up killing the damn thing while standing on it's face, somehow managing not to get eaten
>Proceed to drag the remains back up to the rest of the party so they can do knowledge rolls on how a giant sand worm monster got into this cave

>> No.18665148

>Playing Star Wars d20
>Cragmoloid scout that only uses primitive and simple weapons
>First mission, get mugged in alley and have my favourite sword stolen
>After regaining consciousness I track down the thief to a nearby merchant stall (Sword was about as big as this guy so he wasn't going far with it)
>Come up behind him just as he asks "How much will you give me for this?"
>Take sword from his hands and bellow "ABOUT 5 BROKEN BONES"
>Proceed to pick him up and throw him in the air for a minute or so just so he gets the point
>He did

>> No.18665186

Sat in a cauldron with the rest of the party for 24 hours because it was the door to a Daemon Princes home dimension. Daemon prince was Nurglite. Nurgle likes stubborness. Access granted.
Fought tooth and nail to carry my past self (not knowing it was mysefl at the time) through a rift in time and space, getting him safely back to his home. (failure would have had horrific consequences for my character)
Used a giant door to surf through a collapsing chaos dimension. Jumped from the door and into oblivion, aiming for a usable door below which wasn't always there.
Played Russian Roulette with the Daemon Prince.
Shot the Daemon Prince in head using a bullet containing the soul of a former party members who annihilated 95% of all life on the space hulk we were on.

This happened in the space of about 10 minutes of narrative time. My character is an Adept called Papercut who lost his shit after cowering in fear all the time.

Anyhoo, to the future:

The space hulk we are aboard was stuck in the warp, but the party arbitrator accidentally shot the warp core. God tier luck and possible GM fudgery meant that the core is now (sort of) fixed. Problem is we'll pop up at the Eye of Terror in the middle of a battle unless I alter course.

So, my current plan is to use the resurrection stones held by the four Daemon Princes of the vessel to grant the party immortality. I will take the helmsman artifact and bind myself to the vessel. We will travel the universe for an eternity, adding further ships to the space hulk and bringing aboard new souls to join our crew of the lost. No gods. No masters.

Still unsure quite how to deal with the 'slight' Necron problem the vessel has, however...


I love that campaign.

>> No.18665198

>>18665060
Poor feller. Seeing how he's wealthy enough to have a business of his own, as well as a "black" Russian, I guess the courts are basically expecting him to pay himself poor or face life in prison. Hope the publicity helps the case though.

>> No.18665206

>>18665103
>udyr waiting for gank.jpg

>> No.18665213

I'm pretty sure my old ZeFRS character stabbed a demon snake in the eye, after being the only one in the party to resist its siren call to such an extent, my thoughts at the time were basically "... I've heard better."

>> No.18665217

>>18665206
Pic is a hell of a lot less scary than Udyr waiting for a gank...

>> No.18665242

I've got two stories, different systems.
>Cyberpunk 2020
Held hostage by a group of cultists and ransomed for my teammates' collection of guns, drugs, loose cash, a few vehicles, and our private comm sat's system access codes; I was the team's financial wizard, so losing my corporate ass would set them back around a few months' time.

During my captivity, I managed to get a dialogue going between the head hostage taker about my survival odds, and figured they were dismally poor when he said, "They are dismally poor, now that you mention it." So, I asked if it would save them time and effort if I got the chance to blow my own brains, and thus spare them the indignity of confessing their crimes to their parish priest (read: another lunatic, masquerading as a religious type). I persuaded one of them to give me a single round of ammunition for the .454 revolver I was handed.

Without further ado, I put the gun muzzle into my mouth, tilted my head slightly and pulled the trigger.

Blew a hole through my rear lower jaw and threw several molars into the neck of the guy holding me, then squeezed off a second round into the head of two different people across the room, depopulating it down to the last guy, who then had to open the door when my teammates arrived, bearing drugs, money, lawyers, and a shitload of portable armaments.

>tfw I killed three people and still survived

>> No.18665267

>>18665242
>get handed single round of ammo
>squeeze of second round

>> No.18665314

>Deathwatch
>Librarian
>Bolt Pistol with hellfire rounds
>In Valkerie heading back to spire
>Being attacked by 2 Hellblades
>Standing facing out of open back hatch
>Hellblade passes by
>Use maglock to draw pistol as free action and take a single shot at the cockpit.
>1
>Pierces cockpit window, hits pilot square in the face
>Cockpit explodes in flames
>Hellblade veers down and hits the floor at high velocity
>DM starts rolling to see what it destroys
>Massive "wtf" look on his face
>...keeps on rolling
>Finally looks up and describes that it hit an artillery piece that was bombarding the spires' void shield
>...the explosion of which hit an ammo train
>...which then proceeded to blow up more artillery pieces and more munitions
>4km strip of land is completely totalled and on fire.
>mfw

>> No.18665348

>>18665267
Financial Wizards can buy things without going to a store.

>> No.18665371

>>18665267
Ah. I should have clarified: I grabbed the second round from his corpse.

... I was good, but I wasn't /that/ good.

>> No.18665410

>>18664675

>Deathwatch
>Blood Angel Librarian, hanging with my bros
>throwing ourselves into the maw of Hive Fleet Dagon to slow its progress
>find and reactivate ancient anti-orbital rail gun hidden in a hollowed-out mountain
>call in Mechanicus allies
>60 priests and 20000 servitors sacrifice themselves to crank out six shots before the mountain is pulverized by the gun's output
>those six shots massacre the flank of the hive fleet currently in the system
>mountain pieces crash down on spawning pools already on the planet
>meanwhile we fight our way into the main hiveship
>come face to face with Dagon Overlord
>killteam sets off meltabombs we set up throughout the ship and retreats
>I ramp up the power to 11, and step up to dance with the Overlord as the ship thrashes and buckles around us in its death throes
>call on the might of Sanguinius, who sacrificed himself for the Imperium
>lash out with a wave of psychic power that pulverizes myself and the Overlord
>mfw my mangled armor, its machine spirit irrevocably broken, is recovered and put on display in Watch Fortress Erioch for future generations

>> No.18665418

One time when I played black crusade I beat a space marine to death with my bear fists.

I also jumped inside a Rhino killed the guy inside then jumped out the back before it fell into a pit.

>> No.18665423

got my arm broken but impailed my attacker with the bone protruding from the wound

>> No.18665575

I was playing WFRP.
My character was a Pit Fighter named Adeodatus who just would never die through sheer dumb luck, kind of in a homebrew career titled Champion of the Pit (little less burly than Champion, but still a great career)
We were fighting a really really nasty vampire with our Witch Hunter leading the fight.
Fight goes on, people start burning fate points, and the Vamp just wont die.
I look to the dwarf and shout to him to tackle the Vamp to the ground, and it works.
He's tossed the silver spike we've been carrying around forever.
Sets it up on the vampires chest, and I treat it like a railroad spike, bashing it into his chest and through his magic plate with my runed warhammer that had impact.
Every swing sounded as if a thunderclap had erupted from the hammer.
After three swings it was done, he was finally pulped.
Adeodatus would live another day, or so I thought. Thats a story for another time, as well as his other misadventures.

>> No.18665642

>>18665371

Thought you were going full Evil Dead 2.

On topic:

Storming an evil wizards tower in a city... in hell. The tower is full of lesser war demons (Lesser as in huge, tough as nails motherfuckers that cut humans in half with one swing of a club.)

We try to sneak past the barracks in a narrow hallway, but fail hard and half the party gets caught past the doorway, the other guys on the other side. So they flood out, tons of them, but the hallway is only wide enough for two at a time.

I'm a knight, caught on the inside along with the swashbuckler and a tanky npc goon. I already lost function in my left arm from a hit i took fighting the doormen.

So me and the tank hold the line, my swings are however too sluggish to both keep parrying and hitting back, eventually i gamble on a kill, and make it, only for the next demon in line to plant a sword in my leg, through my platemail. I'm lucky the leg stayed on, but i figured i was fucked by now, its only a matter of time before they gib the swashbuckler that has to take my place.

Sure enough, they soon do, he goes down in one hit, not dead but soon to be, just like my bleeding ass. We have however thinned them out a lot, only a handful left, and the other half of the party are doing pretty good.

So the one that broke through on my end starts walking towards me as i crawl away slowly with one working arm and leg, leaving a thick trail of blood. I cant fight and there are seconds left of consciousness in me.

With the last of my strength i reach for my sword, prop it against the floor, and as the thing raises its weapon to finish me off i kick its feet out from under it, it falls and is impaled on the sword, damn near crushing me under it.

>> No.18665924

>Grimdark setting, "No go deed goes unpunished"
>Playing a monk in 3.5
>Apostle of peace, lawful good, so no killing. This has not benefitted the party, more like the contrary.
>Still refuse to kill a living being.
>Party has been killing criminals, sacrificing hostages, and generally choosing between two evils.
>>Last quest: Investigate slave trading in the capital city.
>Due to no killing bow, the slavering gang leader manages to escape.
>King won’t allow the party to continue with the case.
>FUCKTHATSHIT.jpg
>Take a mask from a previous BBEG. It distorts voice, covers entire face and is cool shit.
>Locate and pursue gang leader (without rest of party, who are just going for next mission).
-Dude, you can’t just beat him alone, we had trouble last time to take him down between all of us, and he still managed to escape.
>Decide it will be resolved in a solo session, whithout rest of party.
>Next session al together, the gang leader is in front of the castle, naked of his armor, and with a letter at his feet:
-ANON DELIVERS

>> No.18665981

In Scion I single-handedly freed a dwarven mining village from a bunch of titans controlled by another Scion. I snuck in, dispatched two titans by knocking them into molten steel, freed the dwarves and supplied them with weapons from the armory, then defeated the other Scion by disarming him and beating the crap out of him.

>> No.18666213

WFRP 2e: Our party arrives in Marienburg. My character is a hunter/targeteer type, BS of 76 by now, shit hot with a bow but somewhat anaemic in a stand up fight. Huge Taal worshipper, believes in living off the land, only eating what you kill, etc etc, absolutely hates the cities.

So we're in this bar, and some drunken thugs start to harrass me, "hey, shit-farmer, get out of here, country cunt" type stuff. So I stand up and go to their leader, like there's a fight about to break out, the thug boss is like twice my size.

Last session we got in an altercation with a river troll, and I said I butchered the corpse. So I convince the GM I would have some of the bits and pieces on me.

So I go up to the boss, and hold up a troll's eye. I go "You know what this is?" He shakes his head. "It's a troll's eye." And I take a huge bite out of the fucking thing. Make a -20 toughness test not to immediately hurl, and get a 07, score.

"You want a bite, big man?" I hand him the other eye. He has a go, and runs out of the bar whimpering and vomiting.

"There's good eatin' on a troll's eye."

(Later on, when we flee the city as it burns to the ground, we get in another fight with this guy. As luck would have it, I get him in the head with my sickle, GM describes me ripping his eye out. Good eatin'.)

>> No.18666248

>be half-orc cleric of pelor
>pelor turns out to be out to destroy mankind
>amass his army of fire Archons and come down to earth
>notonmywatch.gif
>kiss rogue goodbye with "I love you" worthy of Hollywood
>use undead dragon to launch myself at Pelor
> "SMITE EVIL!"

>> No.18666266

>>18665924

>> No.18666287

Oldschool AD&D, playing a dwarf rogue.

Party is fighting a pit fiend at the end of an adventure.

>Realize there is a stairway leading to a balcony behind devil
>climb it, jump off balcony

Plant a pair of +5 daggers into the thing, backstabbing it all the way down. DM rules the damage inflicted is enough to banish it in an explosion of unholy ectoplasm, covering the party in slime. Basically delivered enough damage to drop the thing down to the -60's in HP. Land in the rapidly disintegrating pile of ooze, taking next to no damage from the fall.

Yank open the paladin's backpack, pull out wineskin, and start dumping it on people to get the acidic gunk off, saying "This crap ain't fit fer drinkin', but at least ya smell better fer takin' a bath."

>> No.18666522

I punched Chtullu.

Why?

He made me insane enought to try.

>> No.18666542

Most hardcore...

Probably either the time I survived atmospheric reentry after jumping out of a norn queen's bioship by carving my way into a harradan prime's ribcage with a chainsword, or the time I was face to face with the forty-sixth terminator, and issued a warrior's challenge so he'd focus on me and not Eidelan. Both situations ended in burned fate, and I regret nothing.

>> No.18666577

Playing techpriest in dark heresy.
Be fighting Dark Eldar archon, can't hit the fucker ever keeps parrying.
>fuckthisshit.jpg
grapple archon, throw him off wall into lava.

later I would go on to win a fist fight against an Ork fighta

>> No.18666710

Forever DM, but my Party did this:

>Locked in chapel, defending young magical woman from being captured by the same bandit group who were using her for her magic.
>Monk has sworn to protect her at all costs, is only a moderately good fighter.
>We have one really good fighter and he's on the roof with a crossbow.
>Bandits break the door down and the party manage to get the doors sealed again with pews and such before The Fury, the animalistic leader of the bandits who is renown for his absolutely terrifying anger and no-holds barred fighting style, gets in.
>He tells the monk to move aside.
>Monk charges him and body slams him to the ground while the other party members keep the doors shut so the other 9 bandits can't get in.
>Monk is wrestling with the bandit, who manages to tear his ear off.
>Monk repeatedly punching him in the face.
>Fighter with a crossbow yells at him to dodge out the way and shoots the chandelier, which drops.
>Monk leaps to the side as the chandelier drops on The Fury, killing him.
>Bandits finally break in.
>Monk tells them to fuck off.
>They fuck off.

>> No.18666754

>>18666710
>Same group of bandits ambush them in demon-filled tunnel later on in same campaign.
>They had paid off one of the party members to lead them down these tunnels so that they could get the girl back.
>Demon is chasing the group, a scare-crow with a smiley face that can only move when shrouded in darkness, and likes to snap people's necks like that SCP thingy.
>Party confronted and surrounded. Character who had betrayed them walks up to collect his money, a sack full of gold.
>Looks back at his friends.
>looks at bandits.
>Back at friends.
>fuckthisshit.jpg
>Smashes bandit in the face with the sack of gold coins and starts wailing on him.
>Party surrounded, losing the fight.
>Magical girl gains enough focus back that she starts to shroud various bandits in darkness, letting the demon snap their necks.
>Bandits gets fucked up by jittery teleporting scarecrow and a rich con man with a sack of their own money.

Everythingwentbetterthanexpected.jpg

>> No.18666785

>>18664675
>Harvester
Why would you play that?

>> No.18666813

>>18664675
I called the wife of Dracula a "bitch."

In retrospect, not the wisest thing to do.

>> No.18666840

I was playing a game of Dark Heresy and I killed 3 chaos space marines single handedly with a monosword.

I got like 8 righteous furies on each of them, shit was crazy yo.

>> No.18666844

Evil campaign, we were working for an evil mage who made us find an intelligent book of evilness. We decided he would probably abuse the power of the book against us, so we went to a Duergar stronghold, the king of which was a munchkin fighter/barbarian. He pissed my half-drow wizard off, so when the evil mage besieged the fortress to get the book, I fireballed him. Twice. And managed to bring him down to 1/4 health, because he got his second reflex save.

>> No.18666851

Running leap over a horizontal Blade Barrier onto the BBEG, whose head I handily split with a greataxe crit.

>> No.18666913

Supported the party while we were trapped in a cave system. And by that I mean as food. He'd slice off his flesh and cook it so that they could eat. He was a biomancer, so he could just regrow the flesh.

>> No.18666957

My Guardsman killed an unbound daemonhost with a combat knife. By himself. It was fucking amazing.

>> No.18666983

>>18666957
Castus Grendel did it better. But that's still pretty cool.

>> No.18667059

>>18666983
It was supposed to be a heroic sacrifice. It just didn't really turn out that way.
Afterwards he turned to the party and said "Frankly, I'm as surprised as you are."

>it really took a Herculean effort not to have him start quoting the DOOM comic

>> No.18667102

>>18667059
I'M A BERSERKER-PACKAN MAN AND A HALF!

>> No.18667123

I soloed a boss fight with only half spells and 3/4 of HP as a Bladebound Magus. That was after a brutal ambush we went through that killed our wizard and knocked out the remaining Ranger and Sorcerer. After I managed to clean up the baddies alone and begin gathering my friends to bring them to shelter, the boss appears and charges straight at me. I decide to make a final stand in front of my teammates and managed to defeat it with a god-sent crit fueled by a Spellstrike.

At the end, the Ranger's player jumped out of her chair and grabbed me to kiss me on the cheek while everyone cheered. Even the GM was impressed.

>> No.18667141

In an evil campaign I had a LE ur-priest who had been seriously shit on by his monarch. Despite nearly everyone knowing or suspecting what was happening (even the damn king) everyone character assassinates him during his trial for "raping" the queen who had seduced him. After his escape from prison (awaiting execution) he started brutally hunting down everyone involved and killing them, Kill Bill style, while maintaining a reputation as an unfallen paladin Nobody else gave enough shits about the game to bring a backstory so his became the backbone of the campaign.

Best moments were the "this has gotten completely out of hand; Miracle!" incident after the party went full retard and were in the process of leveling the capital city after some guards provoked the party and things escalated to full scale Thermonuclear Holocaust derailment levels.

The other moment was when my character caught up with the penurious handmaiden of the queen and told her he would give her a fair chance to escape. He opened a magnificent mansion, created some zombies and told her she had a five minute head start; if she could outrun them he would let her live. He neglected to tell her that the rooms were arranged in a loop and after she ran in he sent zombies down both ends of the loop.

Moral: Evil on a quasi-righteous quest of revenge while trying to maintain excellent PR is pretty fun to play.

>> No.18667198

>>18667102
Essentially, yeah.

>> No.18667216

Most badass thing i did was...

>Finally track down the mind-controlling head of the evil cult.
>Am a detective, old and alcoholic, constantly feeling like a father to the two other players who are playing characters their own age.
>They rappell off the roof and crash through this guys window, whilst i stay on the roof to fist fight his leuitenant.
>Hordes of his followers pin me and try to throw me off the roof.
>I manage to get my rope tied around something and when they throw me I swing and come crashing through the window.
>Evil psychic guy is wiping the floor and has encased himself in indestrucable mind-armour that stops him moving. A stasis bubble, basically.
>Hear the horde coming back for me.
>Take the rest of my rope, lay it in a slip knot around the bubble.
>Bubble comes down, he tries to attack me.
>Dodge, tie rope round waist again, leap out of window.
>Rope goes taught around his feet.
>Think i'm going to die, but BBEG grabs onto window ledge, giving me an anchor to swing through my second window that day.
>As i swing through, i tug and dislodge him, managing to untie my rope Die Hard style to let him fall to his death.

Saved the day.

>> No.18667246

I've talked about this one before, but I still like it.

I conned a demonic sword into a shell-game scenario, tricking it into floating into my hand (whereupon it immediately hit me with a channeled blizzard), and used its magnetic draw to its boss to make a 75-foot-leap over a chasm so I could punch it in the spine with an earthquake.

After I cleared the gap, I turned around and punished the blade by casting Holy Sword and holding on for dear life. I ended up shattering it, taking my hand with it.

There's a whole fucking dickload of context there, anyone interested in hearing it? I was typing and typing it before I went "Christ, TL;DR for this thread," but as long as it's mostly written, offer stands.

>> No.18667295

I laid siege to a city from atop a colossal ocre jelly.
Pretty good for a first session.

>> No.18667307

>>18667246

story time is always welcome!

>> No.18667328

>>18667307
So my character is a duskblade in a Final Fantasy Tactics game, set in Ivalice a hundred years after the events of FFT. Our party was made of knights, nobles, and knaves alike, and one of these knights was Ser Caellach. He was a knight of the Aster, tasked with guarding a demonic sword called the Arondight. There were four knightly orders--Aster, Wind, Wave, and Sun--and each kept such a blade safe.

Flash forward through a long, bloody, morally grey campaign as we barely hold back the Lucavi as they're called forth again, the capital is destroyed in the first summoning, and our neighboring countries press in sensing the weakness. Meanwhile Caellach battles with the demonic weapon the whole time, at one point even losing his soul as it's snared out of his body by the aid of Shemhazai, to form a dark doppelganger. Caellach beat it into submission and restitched his spirit together from the ribbons it had been torn into. This was the turning moment, as the Arondight's demon (Barbariccia, as it turns out) finally gave in to despair, and realized it could not break him.

This ended up crucial later, when the four Ruinous Blades were reunited.

>> No.18667351

>>18667328
So I mentioned four blades, but there was a fifth. Tyrfing Deathbringer, or its true name, Skofnung. This was something like a +50 weapon, with a DC 103 or 107 or whatever absurd Will save to overcome its ego score.

It was held by the Commander of the Armies of Ivalice, Forst Lidelse. Turns out his name means "To understand pain and suffering," or something like that. It was a fitting name. When he made an attempt to reclaim a Zodiac Stone after our battle with the Archmagus Zantaire (long ago corrupted and consumed utterly by Zalera), he was skewered from behind by a relatively friendly noble lord, before he could attack us, and the guard piled on. He ended up with a dozen swords impaling him, disabling--but not killing--him. That seemed entirely beyond our ability no matter what we tried.

At any rate, the safest place to put him was the dungeons in the temporary court at Besselat, unfortunately. We weren't exactly eager to have him chained up underneath the ruling body of the country, but it really was the best place, with the most wards, security, and far from most of the remaining agencies disrupting Ivalice.

Most of them. The last was Christof. Fuck that guy.

>> No.18667373

>>18667351
Christof was one of our earliest antagonists, the dark mirror of our own PC scholar. Both had dabbled in occult readings and forbidden knowledge, and gone separate ways--where Alvis became haunted and dedicated his life to fighting the powers of the Dark, Christof drank in them and gloried in it. At any rate, he massed an enormous attack on the walls, forcing the defenders to contend with iron golem-like things. That was a ruse, and we realized he was going for the basement.

It was then that we learned the other holders of the Ruinous Blades--Murasame (Cagnazzo), Laevateinn (Rubicante), and Balmung (Scarmiglione) had fallen, and their bodies were puppets for the demons. And they were springing Forst from the dungeons where he was being held with powerful magic and binding.

awhellnaw.jpg

>> No.18667398

>>18667373
We show up, just as expected, to stop their ritual as they break the magic chains binding Forst Lidelse. He's bound on a platform over a deep chasm, suspended from chains. Only now, it turns out that their real aim here was trying to bring the four weapons together, and unseal the fifth. In the fighting to get there, we'd cut down two of the bearers of the cursed swords, but they'd prepared for that, and on death they zipped away to the hands of Christof to complete the ritual. As we prepare for battle, Lidelse eyes Caellach and the Arondight, and calls it from his hand.

And fails.

There's a moment of shock as they realize what that means. Shaking off the last of the chains, Forst says no matter, if he can't control the sword, he'll cut it from the hand that bears it.

>> No.18667419

>>18667398
So in the chaos, Tyrfing had been brought back to him, and immediately I cut down one of the enemy sub-bosses in one hit, only in turn for Forst to level it on me and instantly kill me with a critical hit on a once-per-battle attack called Eclipse. Some interrupting effect from our psionic butler (fuck yeah) saves me narrowly. The damage was to the tune of 264 or so, with 2d6 con loss (due to critting and doubling it), and a save versus instant death.

Understandably, we spent most of the fight staying out of range of his melee attacks, which carried the same dozens of weapon enchantments and bonuses. Meanwhile, the cursed blades themselves animate to attack us, threatening and taunting us--all except the Arondight, broken by the will of one man.

>> No.18667442

>>18667328
> FFT game
> on tabletop
WHAT SYSTEM, YOU MAD WIZARD? WHAT WARP SAUCERY IS THIS?!

>> No.18667445

>>18667419
Finally, having worn him down and cut down almost all of his support (except Christof. Fucking Christof), we weaken the platform he's been kept on, at great risk and pain, by our paladin, Kress. I cast a unique spell the DM and I had worked out--a miniature, localized earthquake. Slamming a fist into the platform, the ground beneath him shatters, and he's plunged into the darkness below. Caellach makes a leap away to safety--but he winds up far from the rest of the party, where he needs to be.


The ritual, though not fully successful, awakens Chaos, the Lucavi pacted with Forst, who rises up from the chasm. Round two begins, as the blades all return to their master's side--even the Arondight is drawn almost magnetically toward it, but Caellach holds fast, fighting to keep the blade in his hand even as it drags him closer to that pit.

And here, Caellach gets his idea.

>> No.18667457

>>18667442
D&D 3.5. Truth be told, it's been messy.
>>18667445
Murasame was held by an NPC named Gregor Brecht, a quiet, gentle man who was polite and helpful to the last. He seemed to retain this semblance in death, unable to resist the commands, but sober and remorseful about it. Even as we cut him down, his last words were basically "had we met sooner..."

Caellach appealed to the honor of the sword, prideful as each of them was. "Gregor Brecht had no choice," he says to the weapon. "Do you?"

A miniature exchange goes off, as Caellach suggests that the swords, enslaved from the beginning, need not serve their cruel master. As it turns out, he was barking up as wrong a tree as he could have, but that worked out in the end.

Murasame--and Cagnazzo inside it--agreed, and drifts over to Caellach's outstretched hand. He takes it, and the blade immediately punishes him with a blizzard, doing something like 20d6 damage and calling him a fool. At his end, Gregor Brecht begged to be saved from oblivion, it said, and it would expose the folly and hollowness of Caellach's honor just like his.

>> No.18667462

>CoC
>Exploring the Corbitt house
>Eventually find the secret room in the basement and start fighting Corbitt
>GM asks for a Willpower test (or whatever the equivalent in CoC is, it's been a while and I don't remember)
>Fail
>I look into Corbitt's eyes as he sets me on fire with his mind
>GM asks for a sanity check
>Roll 1. We do critical success and failures for added comedic results
>We all agree that my character stares Corbitt in the face for the rest of the encounter, even while on fire

>> No.18667511

>>18667457
So Caellach weathers the attack and, with a demonic sword in either hand, takes off at a run, using skill, strength, and spell to leap the chasm over to Chaos. He was always a good leaper--I had maxed ranks in it, and specialized in my armor to the point that I carried no ACP in a suit of full plate--and between a haste effect, a Jump, and the magnetic lure of the two swords to their master's side, he clears a gap 75 feet across.

And then, he punished Murasame for its duplicity.

The thing about Caellach that wasn't immediately apparent was his intelligence--he was deceptively brilliant, albeit in a very narrow specialty. He was not about to take a chance with a demonic sword in the middle of a battle without weighing the risks. This was the shell game--whether it deceived him and took his hand, or whether his hunch about the swords' slavery to Chaos proved true, he had the tool he needed.

So, clenching his fist, he cast a spell from the Arcane Disciple feat he had taken, representing ley-training with the Church. Holy Sword.

>> No.18667567

>>18667511
Now, in flat RAW, holy sword would do nothing to a demonic weapon, and especially not an artifact weapon as powerful as Murasame. But our DM is very much a "make crunch fit fluff" kind of guy, and he rolled with it. He PM'd me the description of Caellach's pain as the sword began to smoke and scream in his hand, telling him it hurt more than anything he had ever felt--and this includes having almost been crushed to death inside his armor by a gravity spell and the claws of a Lucavi we took to calling That Damn Crab. He gave me the option to release the weapon, or hold on.

I held on. The screaming intensified, and all at once, the blade shatters, exploding in my grip, and my hand going with it.

Caellach, meanwhile, was a duskblade. The Arondight was a greatsword. He could take a hand off the hilt to make somatic gestures, but he needed both hands to fight.

He spent the rest of that battle swinging around his greatsword one-handed, onearming the massive weapon with a sizable penalty. When he failed a strength roll to hold onto his sword and lost it, he promptly returned to spellcasting, using his quake-punch spell and, when he had the chance again, seizing the Arondight and wresting it away from its master yet again.

>> No.18667643

>>18667567
That battle saw the end of the four Ruinous Blades--that psi-butler destroyed Balmung (craven to the last, promising to serve if only he wouldn't end it), and Laevateinn (who marveled at his command and power, but died cursing him as a man who could only destroy. It passed claiming it had claimed his restful nights.) Caellach destroyed Murasame with his divine spell, leaving only one last weapon to break, and in so doing weaken their master to bring him down.

Chaos raised Tyrfing to cut down the knight once and for all. In a moment of clarity in the whirlwind of fear and an insanity that had been pressing in on him, Caellach simply raised the Arondight overhead.

The sword screamed at him, telling him it would mean their deaths.

The first strike utterly shattered the Arondight, killing the broken sword and sending it wailing to the Abyss. The second cut the disarmed knight down.

He died smiling. For the first time, in as long as he could remember, he was not afraid.

>> No.18667683

>>18667643
As cinematic an end as that is, the story doesn't end there--he was quickly revived (only the third person to die that fight), and it wasn't long before Chaos went the way of his four thralls, aging centuries in seconds.

The battle left Caellach a hollow man, and he still hasn't recovered from the wounds sustained--both physical and mental. He still lacks a hand, and the weapon that came to define his life. He wonders if he's lost his mind or his soul to the forces he's been battling, and that's where we left him. The game has been on hiatus for several months now as the DM grapples with finals, work, and depression.

Personally, I'm hoping he makes a recovery, and in turn Caellach gets to rise again.

>> No.18667847

DnD 3.5

Playing a two-weapon ranger, and the party is currently escorting a genetic experiment lizard-girl thing. We're on a train, and because of a wagon that knocked out a magic obelisk, the anti-monster field is down, and rust monsters attack the train. As the party is busy hacking and slashing, my ranger is trying to catch the lizard girl, who's crazy fast and clambering all over the train for some reason. He falls into the rear car, since it rusted away under his feet, and is face-to-face with a rust monster. Wasting no time, he kicks the fucker off the train and gets back to lizard chasing. As he comes across the party fighting on a car that had the walls and roof rusted away, he jumped down, body slamming one of the rust monsters, and nearly got knocked off the train when our derptastic fighter tried to kick it off while I was still on it.

Later, I saved the party from fighting a 40ft tall statue by answering a question half-right. But that's not as fun.

Oh! I also killed a mummy with a belt of healing.

>> No.18667883

>>18667059
I couldn't do it. I'd be quoting up a storm for the rest of the night.

>> No.18668269

>>18667883
My point exactly. It doesn't help that every single line is quotable.

>> No.18668284

Backstabbing a dragon while riding on the back of a killer whale summoned by our druid. We were battling the dragon from a ship and my rogue/ranger had breathe water cast on him. Snuck up behind the dragon under the waves for MASSIVE DAMAGE.

>> No.18669508

>Fighting BBEG
>Getting our arses kicked
>Decide to use Gate to get Celestial help
>Nat 1
>Accidentally Gate some Cthulhu-esque Eldritch Abomination for a split second
>Everyone rolls for San (Wis) loss
>Everything in front of us for 70 kilometers is destroyed
>We're declared enemies of world and have to live our lives in exile

>> No.18669533

>>18669508
Natural 1s aren't supposed to work that way.

>> No.18669542

Shutting down a performance of the opera Massa di Requiem per Shuggay before it reached its apocalyptic third act (and the summoning of Azathoth) but bringing down La Scala on top of us all. Mass death not to mention TPK, but better than reality being destroyed.

>> No.18669590

With 2 wounds left, in breached armor(power claw rends across the chest, choppa lodged near the induction vent, and the rest blackened from being 3 feet from a melta charge going off), I ran headlong into a horde of orks.

Somehow managed to kill all of them without going into the negatives.

Later ran into the team's techmarine(missing an arm), looked over and said "You look like shit, cogs."

>> No.18669652

>>18669533
Yeah well it was awesome.
Suck it up.

>> No.18669693

Used total war contingencies to ram a fully armed spaceship from a would-be enemy (had the aforementioned contingencies come into effect) into the Avatar of Hope, while fighting off her minions, then overloading the ship's main gun and HALO jumping the fuck out of there. Alone.

Should've made him rock out somewhere in the process.

>> No.18671641

<Boris_Makarov> alright, alright, sit down, and let me get my giant dusty story book
<Boris_Makarov> so, in VtM, I have a tradition of playing seriously psychotic malks
<Boris_Makarov> my dad and I half-and-halfed on a malk that had to be continuously convinced he was in North Africa in 1942 as a wehrmacht trooper or he went berserk
<Boris_Makarov> for instance
<Boris_Makarov> so, after that game
<Boris_Makarov> I decided to roll one up
<Boris_Makarov> His name was skippy, and he was created to be as dangerous as possible, to himself and and to others
<Boris_Makarov> but how, I asked, how could a vampire who was freshly sired be considered a huge threat by just about any kindred?
<Boris_Makarov> The answer took me several days
<Boris_Makarov> Fire.
<Boris_Makarov> second worst thing to catching a sunrise
<Boris_Makarov> see, all skippy cared about was making fire when he was alive
<Boris_Makarov> (skippy not being his real name, I've forgotten his real one)
<Boris_Makarov> The session was kind of a short one, and it culminated in kind of mansion party for well-to-do vampires, and skippy was in a squad of undesirable kindred specifically picked because they were entirely expendable, and perfectly suited for the prince to kill all of his competition at this party, because hey, no one would miss them
<Boris_Makarov> The plan was, the prince would leave early, and that was when the party would go to work
<Boris_Makarov> skippy forgot the plan, and wandered off right at the beginning
<Boris_Makarov> the party figured oh, he's just a malk, they do wacky things
<Boris_Makarov> we'll continue on
<Boris_Makarov> the GM is probably going to work him in later for a big damn rescue
(cont.)

>> No.18671646

<Boris_Makarov> so, he turns up later in a disguise, and somehow gets past all the security using that malk influence power, I forgot what it was
<Boris_Makarov> turns on all the stoves (they were gas)
<Boris_Makarov> the whole house
<Boris_Makarov> turned on all the goddamn stoves
<Boris_Makarov> went to the middle of the party floor when the house was well and full of gas
<Boris_Makarov> and struck a whole matchbook
<Boris_Makarov> house goes up, everyone is turned to ash
<Boris_Makarov> except
<Boris_Makarov> skippy
<Boris_Makarov> he'd slathered himself in fire-retardant gel and was wearing protective clothing underneath his (stolen) suit
<Boris_Makarov> he was not a pretty sight
<Boris_Makarov> mind
<Boris_Makarov> but he did live
<Boris_Makarov> Normally a vampire does that kind of shit to claim princehood for himself
<Boris_Makarov> not skip
<Boris_Makarov> he disappeared into the night, leaving the entire city leaderless
<Boris_Makarov> to this day, he remains a wanted kindred
<Boris_Makarov> the end

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