[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / g / ic / jp / lit / sci / tg / vr / vt ] [ index / top / reports / report a bug ] [ 4plebs / archived.moe / rbt ]

Due to resource constraints, /g/ and /tg/ will no longer be archived or available. Other archivers continue to archive these boards.Become a Patron!

/tg/ - Traditional Games

View post   

[ Toggle deleted replies ]
[ERROR] No.17846854 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

You, a newly-inducted pilot of the 501st Joint Witches Squadron, boggle at the older brother of Charlotte Yeager.

“I should introduce myself,” the young pilot says. “Name’s Chuck. Yeager, naturally.”

“Charmed,” you reply, shaking his hand and introducing yourself. “So, what news?”

“News?” he says incredulously, jerking his thumb over his shoulder. “I just finished ferrying my Mustang in from Iceland. Personally.” You give him a skeptical look, but he only shakes his head. “The pilot shortages are getting worse. And the WASPs are stretched thin.” He slings himself onto a nearby workbench and makes himself mildly comfortable. “I was hoping you’d tell me the news.”

“Sorry,” you say. “I got stabbed by a Martian robo-spider and when I woke up I was too busy insulting my commanding officer in front of a pair of two-star generals to catch up on the scuttlebutt.”

Chuck gazes at you in complete silence for several long seconds as he processes that.

He opens his mouth, and then closes it again.

“Beer?” you ask.

“Beer,” he confirms.

As you make (tire) tracks for cold beer, you:
>Try to find out what the fuck is going on
>Find your crewmates
>Find Trude
>Find [Witch]
>Let Minna find you
>DON’T let Minna find you

>> No.17846873


I don't know what that is, so I'm picking that.

>> No.17846892

rolled 5 = 5

>DON’T let Minna find you
>Find Trude


>> No.17846895

You're early planefag. Out of curiousity, could you tell me the leadership situation of the French Government-in-Exile? Petain, De Gaulle, Giraud, Darlan, of none of the above?

>Find out what the fuck is going on

We need to know how many more pilots are arriving, so we can know how much more booze we need to acquire.

>> No.17846908

We gotta find our crew and introduce them, it would be rude if we didn't. Plus I'm sure they'll be shocked as hell to see us.

>> No.17846910



>> No.17846945


i have no idea what this is, but im guessing it'll be awesome

>> No.17846956



The delicious dewy taste of the best melon ever to grace the Earth. The luscious fruit of the middle east, the powerhouse of Latin American agricultural export economies. The savory, fantastic, varied muskmelon.

The war between men slowed their transit, and the Martians put an end to it. It has been years since you have tasted a muskmelon.

Of all their crimes, that one you can never, ever forgive. They try to kill you all the time, true, but nobody - from any planet - fucks with your muskmelons.

>> No.17846965

>Find your crewmates
>Try to find out what the fuck is going on

>> No.17846973

Find Minna. Take Minna and visit Trude.

The thing with Trude's sibling is still unresolved, and I think Minna could learn alot from how others deal with the potential of losing people they care about.

Plus, it would be good to have someone backing us up, and keeping us from saying anything dumb.

>> No.17846978

>Get drunk
>Get stash of aviators AND pants


>> No.17846985

>Don't let Minna find you.
>Find Crewmates

>> No.17846991

Are you saying muskmelons are more important than booze?

>> No.17846998

Those. Utter. BASTARDS.

>> No.17847006


Shit, I thought the crime we could never forgive them for was not liking/shooting up our booze.

Random poster from a previous thread:
>They hate our booze more than they hate our freedom
>And that’s why we fight.

>> No.17847025


>Try to find out what the fuck is going on

>> No.17847029

Concur, we bring Chuck, introduce, and see if crew know anything. Did we hear if they made it out alive following the encounter with robo-spider, prior to bouncing Minna?

Also, we gotta to Trude at some point here...

>> No.17847031

Beer with the new buddy, and invite the rest of your crew. You can all get introduced and caught up together. If some witches come along during, well that's how it is and no fucks need be given.

>> No.17847053

Find out what is going on, if we're going to be getting more male pilots (which means we need to work on the kill tally to stay top dog).
The let's find Trude and see if she's better now.

>> No.17847060

Have beer.

Don't let Minna find you.

Find Trude.

Eat delicious Muskmellons.

>> No.17847079

.get beer, introduce to crew. Slip away and find Trude.

>> No.17847085

Oh yeah, at one point we need to deliver all the aviators and pants. Wonder how that will turn out.

>> No.17847097


Everyone would probably accept, perhaps except minna.

>> No.17847098

Fuck yes strike witches quest.

Find crew, acquire booze

>> No.17847110

First order of business is drinking time, you and Chuck with your crew. Then the lot of them help giving out aviators and pants. Avoid drama as much as possible.

>> No.17847113

It will be almost as awesome as we are! (Nothing is quite as awesome as we are, but this would be close!)

>> No.17847128

>Out of curiousity, could you tell me the leadership situation of the French Government-in-Exile? Petain, De Gaulle, Giraud, Darlan, of none of the above?

De Gaulle is currently in Spain with the remnants of the French 7th and 9th armies, along with most of France's surviving armor support. They're the main reason the Iberian Peninsula is still mostly-free.

Darlan still lives, though he's mostly been discredited after most of the escaping French fleet defected - of their own accord, ship-by-ship - to the Allies in 1940. The Richelieu is currently in the Indian sea with a small battle-group, but they're two weeks late for a check-in and are feared lost. He's under Germany's wing, but not a man of much note anymore.

Giraud is the only man known to have been captured by the Martians and escaped to tell about it. Whatever he had to say on the matter is highly classified and not much discussed. Having proven rather inept with armor in the Battle of France, he redeemed himself by decimating the Martian drive on Paris at the beginning of the invasion, managing a devastating defense-in-depth with anti-tank gun screens and unusually swift movements of infantry.

Petain had a loud conversation about patriotism and national duty with an irate citizen during the chaos of the Martian invasion. Petain held forth resolutely, but the citizen's Luger proved a compelling and very, very final argument.


>> No.17847131

High Priority

Lower priority
>Finding out what the fuck

On a semirelated note, what's the story with your OP pic, Planefag?

>> No.17847135

>eat delicious muskmellons
>give aviators and pants out
>drink booze
>kill alien scum
this is the ideal i think.

>> No.17847143


The best thing is, drinking booze OUT of muskmelons. Best be sitting down when you try THAT, lemme tell ya.

>> No.17847148

Don't let Minna find you until we have acquired a delicious muskmelon to share.

Because nobody can stay angry when they have a slice of muskmelon in front of them, and a happy Minna is... well, I don't know if we've actually seen a happy Minna yet, so it should at the very least be an educational experience.

OOC, I find it amusing that apparently in the actual show Minna is the nice one and Sakamoto is the hardass.

>> No.17847153

It's the actual Yeager. The one that flew the plane in world war 2.

>> No.17847165

Those are two Chuck Yeagers standing side by side.

>> No.17847177

Now just tell me that Douglas MacArthur and Mark Clark both died horrible deaths and I will be a happy, happy man.

On behalf of any britfags here, you can also dispose of that Percival fucker.

>> No.17847185

Sakamoto is probably still a hardass, but not to us - we're proven badasses, after all - but to the younger witches like Miyafuji.

As for Minna, the lady from Japan said it - we have her all fucked up.

>> No.17847186

Ah, thanks. Abrial is amongst the French fleet, I take it?

>inb4 noone cares about a random French Admiral

>> No.17847188

Wrong. The best thing is drinking booze OUT of muskmelons, when the booze was MADE from muskmelons.

>> No.17847203

We must do this. Immediately.

>> No.17847207

This isn't the kind of wish fulfillment I expected to see in here. But I approve of it.

>> No.17847208

start a noisy IM NOT DEAD party in the lounge

>> No.17847224

Well, first we need Charlotte to get us in touch with the engineering crew on base, since they're the ones who're most likely to have built the inevitable still.

Then we can get on with brewing our Yeagermeister.

>> No.17847226

So here's what we do.
We divide the Russians into two groups.
The first group sets out to the arctic circle or some other VERY COLD VERY ICY sea region and starts building a giant cannon.
The other group goes more south and builds a bunch of smaller cannons that can be set up in a nifty circle. Once they finish they should head down to the Indian Ocean and make a massive facility that can house thousands and thousands of missiles.

Then we will be ready to deal with the Martian menace.

>> No.17847227

But not with Chuck still in tow, we don't want to get in the way of THAT.

>> No.17847237

Fuck it, I want to go and talk to Trude.

>Find Trude

>> No.17847239

This must be done with all haste!

>> No.17847241

From the last thread:

"Calling it now, Chuck will do something that'll make our MC EXTREMELY jealous of him."

"He'll NTR us with Minna.

Oh, the fucking rage that will bring."

You're not getting any funny ideas, are you planefag?

>> No.17847245

But can we fit all of the Russians in a B-52?

>> No.17847250

You know what Eila needs to have as a weapon?

She needs to wield Simo Hayha in battle.

>> No.17847256

I should have guessed it was something like that.
Have a reaction image.

>> No.17847257

I hope so. Pair Chuck off with with Crazy McPsychobitch, and we dash off with femChuck.

>> No.17847259

Explain what that means, if you would?

>> No.17847263

stop reminding him fool.

stop trying to get rid of us having any chances of friends or bro's you jackass.

>> No.17847265


You mean that wasn't the intent?

You have us and Chuck, two troublemakers cut from the same cloth.

Theres too much overlap. There can only be one in the end.

>> No.17847274

You and Chuck visit the kitchen and liberate a healthy sum of beer. Chuck goes to open his, but you stay his hand. "Hold up, I'd like you to meet my flight crew."

"Crew? What do you fly?"

"Black Widow."

Sudden comprehension dawns on Chuck's face, and you see him re-evaluate you. The predatory glint of the combat pilot comes into his eye. "You're the guy that just made ace-in-a-day."


"So did I."

Oh, really now. How interesting.

"Yeah, I had one to my credit before that, though. Some tosser trying to shoot up a Fortress with half her engines out."

You nod sagely. "I corked a rocket bomb the other day. Personally. My gunner did for a Firebee or two, I think - we're not sure yet."

Six-to-six. Your eyes lock on each others, and a dangerous tension passes between them.


>> No.17847275


>> No.17847278



>> No.17847279

netorare > cuckolding, waifu-stealing.

Not seeing it happening though, for the same reasons Minna flipped out at us.

>> No.17847283

Simo Hayha = Gnome?

>> No.17847284 [DELETED] 


>> No.17847285

brb quick dinner

>> No.17847287

It stands for...Neotare? Netorare? Something like that. It's basically the fetish of your significant other cheating on you.

>> No.17847288



>> No.17847292

>There can only be one in the end.


>> No.17847301


>> No.17847305

You know those h-manga where it show two people in a loving relationship then old men mindbreak the girlfriend in front of the boyfriend?

>> No.17847307



>> No.17847311


Judging by how Eila's oneesan Aurora was upgraded to a canon witch (despite her RL counterpart never flying a plane or driving a tank), it's more than possible that Sini Häyhä is a witch too.

>> No.17847312

Japanese slang for cuckolding.

Why people here feel compelled to use it instead of cuckold I do not know.

>> No.17847315


oh god yes

>> No.17847317



If we're going that far, we should also invest in that magically Russian technology that lets them invade all of Europe at once. And have all of these blessed by the Orthodox Church.

>> No.17847324

>"So did I."

>Oh, really now. How interesting.

He said this the moment we met him, so we already knew. I thought we mentioned that as well.


>> No.17847325


Saves four letters. Time is money.

>> No.17847329


>> No.17847336

>Put on Danger Zone just for shits
>Check /tg/ for anything interesting
>Strike Witches quest

Well shit.

>> No.17847350

>it's on
Will we now have a balls-to-the-wall manly and crazy as fuck competition during a furball to see who can bag the most kills?

I will laugh if Charlotte outdoes both of us.

>> No.17847358

I found the most AMERICA strike witch

bonus points, dalmatian waifu

>> No.17847365

Don't worry, she will.

>> No.17847387

I'd actually be fine with going with that girl.
She's busty, which is a huge plus.

>> No.17847392

Considering she already probably has more than the two of us combined, I think that's a given.

>> No.17847393

Only slightly late, most excellent.

>> No.17847394

if we do beer pong, it must be done on our plane's wing

>> No.17847416

And she clearly wants our bratwurst.

>> No.17847425

Not like shes alone in that

>> No.17847431

>Other things to do

>Aquire/steal/borrow dagger/gladius

Those goddamn martians seems quite immune to our pistol.

>> No.17847432

Again, no, Shirley is too dangerous for us. Remember she suspects us being gnomes and we're taking that little secret to the grave.

>> No.17847439

Gah. The hell!

You started on time for once! Now I'm late!

>> No.17847443

I think that's something that a lot of us, and admittedly the MC as well, forgets.
Most of these girls have triple or more kills than us.
If we want them to actually respect us then we need to shoot down more Martians.

>> No.17847448


That just means we need a bigger gun.

>> No.17847452


This is acceptable.

>> No.17847454

I'm now imagining a Finnish girl wearing a lot of white lace and not much else using a Moisin-Nagant to kill things in orbit.

>> No.17847470

>we need to shoot down more Martians.
The problem is that said Martians have a much easier time shooting down our plane than we have shooting them. Let's not get in over our heads.

>> No.17847479

Actually I think she's liable to keep that secret if she works it out, she's nor stupid and would know what revealing it would mean for us.

>> No.17847485



>> No.17847486


Something hopefully, man-portable.

>> No.17847487

>Sniper Witches.

I am not...oppose to this idea.

>> No.17847494


oh really? but i seem to recall 5 dead martians and no dead us.

>> No.17847510

We need to carry a large caliber gun and a big ass knife at all times

>> No.17847513




>> No.17847514

That too, yes.
Busty + wanting us, good combo right there.

>> No.17847517


Already have one.

>> No.17847522

And I seem to recall hundreds of dead men and a majority of Martians being killed by Witches.

We're lucky, yes, but pushing it too far is liable to result in BAD END.

>> No.17847526


Ignore American guns, acquire Obrez

>> No.17847541


but shes also a woman and the whole 'witches are uniquely female' thing is a big part of keeping women outta the kitchen in this version of the witches 'verse. Its a political matter that touches very directly upon her life. her reaction is unpredictable at best.

>> No.17847548

We've got our crew for that.

>> No.17847549


But now you're repeating it for effect. It's The Challenge.

>not knowing how to plane-peen

I seriously hope you don't do this.

>> No.17847550

How the fuck is she.... is that a Handle on the stock?

That must hurt her wrists like fuck when she fires it

>> No.17847567

Our 1911 is already a good pistol. I agree with carrying a combat knife at all times though.

You know, this sounds like we're giving a fuck. Perhaps recent events have shown that the attitude should only be partaken of in moderation, lest you wind up dead?

>> No.17847579

They need to carry their own as well. I think every damn person on the base does.

>> No.17847581


He's Dangerous planefag, he can be our wingman, anytime.

Just as soon as we play some vollyball, in the tightest shorts known to humanity.

No homo.

>> No.17847586


Witches have ridiculous strength when they wear their strikers. I vaguely recall it taking three grown men to carry her gun in the anime.

>> No.17847599


But again, she wants us. Bad. And is incredibly laid back, so not as likely to flip out about it.

>> No.17847611

It's a Boys Anti-Tank Rifle. Normally, they're fired using a bipod.

>> No.17847613

>How the fuck is she.... is that a Handle on the stock?
>That must hurt her wrists like fuck when she fires i
Dude, she's a witch. She can do what she wants.

>> No.17847617


>> No.17847623

And besides shes too damn sharp not to notice. Let's be careful that she doesn't make us stick around an area with multiple ticking clocks or any equivalent.

>> No.17847630


NGAF when concerned with matters of life and death is suicidally stupid.

MC would probably know better

>> No.17847636

do it.

See if we can't cause Every witch on base to break out in nosebleeds

>> No.17847668


It might be beneficial to see if we can co-opt her. She's too sharp for us to hide it from her for very long, and we're pretty sure she's attracted to us, or at the very least actually likes us. She might be a useful ally in keeping anybody else from knowing.

>> No.17847680


Before you two can do anything more then exchange The Look, someone enters the kitchen at a brisk pace, greatcloat flapping. You both turn to see Erwin Rommel striding about quickly, examining the room swiftly. His eyes light on the refrigerator, and he nods sagely. "If you gentlemen would assist me," he says, opening the refrigerator.

"Sure, Field Marshall," you say politely. "But with... what?"

Rommel calmly begins removing the shelves in the refrigerator, and handing them to you and Chuck. You both look at him in bewilderment.

"Under the table should do it," he says tersely, moving swiftly and with purpose. You and Chuck exchange wary glances, but you get on with it. Soon the refrigerator is emptied, the contents stashed underneath the table. Thus decimated, you note it's a particularly large refrigerator, the kind used in large mess hall kitchens - which this is, you suppose.

"Thank you, gentlemen," he says, nodding to each of you in turn. You and Chuck just take your beer and silently remove from the room.

"What the fuck?" Chuck asks.

"You'll get used to it," you reply.

"Was that... Rommel?"


"What the hell is going on?"

>> No.17847683

See, that's what I and another anon were saying a couple threads ago in the face of other Anton's going "NGAF all day erry day! Even if it harms us!"

As good as we are, if we really acted like that Sean an Ian would probably have dumped our retarded ass by now.

>> No.17847686

>keep secrets

>> No.17847691

OK so, witch tally:

JAPAN: Miyafuji saved our bacon, we need to get the little squirt candies or something. Sakamoto is Sakabroto, 'nuff said.
BRITAIN: I think we've only talked to Lynette like, once.
FRANCE: The Bitch from Gaul! IMO, less annoying than when we started, though.
ITALY: Goddammit, Zucchini.
USA: Yeagertits is hot, bro, and could potentially blow our gnome cover something fierce. WARNING
RUSSIA: Sanya is going to summon Yog-Sototh in our faces one day, I just know it.
FINLAND: Eila. The Troll is strong within her.
GERMANY: Oh boy. We have a SITUATION with Minna, Trude hopefully doesn't want to murder us anymore and Erica--- you know, I think we've also only talked to her once.

>> No.17847696

>Implying that Chuck isn't a Gnome

>> No.17847710

>lack of wat do
Eagerly awaiting next post. This needs an explanation.

>> No.17847715

>She might be a useful ally in keeping anybody else from knowing.
At least she can help to explain away any mechanical oddities that result from our gnomish ways.

>> No.17847716

Is Rommel still running from Patton? Or setting him up for an ambush?

>> No.17847719


inb4 Patton runs in screaming and Rommel hides in the fridge.

>> No.17847721

>Patton's face when he goes to make a sandwich

>> No.17847723

...if what I think is going on is going on, we need to get the fuck out of here post haste. We don't want to be anywhere in the same building.


>> No.17847725

Rommel sometimes comes round and hide in our fridge. What? Doesn't MacArther do that to you?

>> No.17847728

Rommel's just being his usual magnificent bastardy self, is all.

>> No.17847731


Stop putting martian bodies in the fridge. How are we supposed to keep beers cold when the fridge is full of martians?

>> No.17847734

>Rommel hiding in a fridge

Oh dear god my sides

>> No.17847740

Are you suggesting we tell her? That's a terrible idea.
We will never bring up the gnome buisiness. If she suspects and confronts us we can still feign ignorance, male witches don't exist after all, everyone knows that.

>> No.17847741


...Keeping them in the martians?

>> No.17847742

inb4 rommel is rorschach

>> No.17847745

Less running, more hiding. I want to know what goes down, but not get caught up in it.

>> No.17847755

Keep her on our side, and if she learns we'll just have to trust her. No letting the beans spill without need.

>> No.17847762




>> No.17847772

>Inb4 Rommel ambushes Patton

>> No.17847773

Patton would punch us out of the wheelchair if we tattled on Rommel. THIS IS PERSONAL.

>> No.17847779


You rub your head miserably as you roll along in your wheelchair. "The ground crew told me the brass are planning something, something big. A counter-offensive or something."

"That'd make sense," Chuck says, thinking. "And Castle Barin is about the most secure location on the planet, besides the other combined-wing operations."

"I've expected them to do it at Edinburgh," you muse. "The stronghold there is even older, the wards are still pretty nasty and its, you know, further away from the Continent."

"As if it matters one fucking bit," Chuck says, and you both go silent, musing on that one.

"Objective?" Chuck asks, after a minute.

"Who the hell knows," you reply. "Haven't seen any Russkies about, so I doubt they're trying to link up with the Balkans again."

"I hear Monty is still pushing hard for that," Chuck replies. "Well, scuttlebutt says, you know. Still..."

You shrug in silent agreement. The Polish Witch Corps is one of the oldest and most experienced on earth, but the chances of them breaking out of the Balkan Pocket with the rest of the Polish army-in-exile is pretty slim.

>> No.17847783


That and the fact she can try to blackmail us to make her strikers EVEN FASTER in exchange for keeping our secret...

>> No.17847791


Of course you don't come straight out and tell her. What are you crazy? subtlety is the word of the day.

>> No.17847801

>Ignore American guns, break hand

whats with the nugget love in this thread, its like im really on /k/

>> No.17847812

Why would we even want to subtly imply it? No one must know.

>> No.17847815

I don't think our effects are permanent like that. We'd only be able to speed up a striker if the witch using it was carrying us.

>> No.17847816

We're in the English Channel, right? Maybe we're going to push back towards France.

>> No.17847817

This is a bad thing? Better combat efficiency plus girl that isn't trying to kill us at all?

>> No.17847833




>> No.17847845


>> No.17847847


>> No.17847848


In strike witches tv that was the plan, to retake the mainland since there is a massive hive over northern france, so if we do that, we can retake Europe, and slowly start the liberation of Earth.

>> No.17847878


After twenty minutes of fruitless rolling about fail to turn up your crew, you accept Chuck's invitation to go eyefuck his aircraft, and he yours. Upon entering the hangar, you spot people climbing about your Black Widow almost immediately. Most of the damage has been repaired, and it looks like they're servicing the guns. One man is busy checking the turret .50s.

"Ayo," the man says in an Aussie accent. "Yer radioman's playing with 'is tubes or summat."

Indeed he is. You find Ian standing under the rear nacelle, scowling up into the open access hatch, where you see Sean fiddling with his equipment.

"Sup," you say.

Sean nearly strips the rungs off his ladder coming down it. "Fucking idiot! You've got a hole through your middle!" he cries. "What the hell are you doing out of bed?"

You look down at your belly.

"I got b-"

Ian hoists a wrench menacingly.

"Okay, okay. Miyafuji did her mojo."

>> No.17847884

Quest Themes

I'm a Pilot - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__s4OMTVyhI
Dangerzone - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPz1Mqr0zQI

>> No.17847895

"How the fuck do you do too, assholes. Also, meet new challenger--- FELLOW PILOT."

>> No.17847910


Controlled exposure is better in the long run. Total secrecy is better short term, but when it does inevitably come out, we could be well and truly fucked. Besides, even if hinting to Charlotte does backfire, we're currently still locked in the protective glow of recent heroics. They can't touch us. *cue Hammertime music*

>> No.17847922

wild ramblings inbound

chuck is also a gnome, shirley knows knows but keeps it secret.
thats why she was so suspicious and interrogated us.
because she has seen her brother pull the same shit.

>> No.17847927

And by 'Did her Mojo' I mean 'I got better'. Also! Fellow pilot!

>> No.17847930


"Who's this?" Sean says, looking at Chuck.

"Chuck Yeager. 8th. Or, I was. Just mustered in."

Sean blinks. "Yeager?"

"Yep!" he grins. "Brother."

"Isn't this a barrel of fucking monkeys," Sean says disgustedly, collapsing onto a nearby ammo crate.

"What? What's the problem?" you ask, trying to hand Ian a beer. "I'm alive, we've got somebody here who knows all the best ways to annoy Charlotte - er, Shirley, and also I'm fucking ALIVE!"

"Haven't you heard the news?" Ian asks you.

"Sorry, it's so hard to pay attention when you're unconscious," you snap.

"That's right. Christ," Ian says, rubbing at his eyes. "Man... Hugh Dowding is dead."

>> No.17847936

>tseandere modo activated

>> No.17847946


That guy kept the RAF together during the German air invasion...

>> No.17847949



>> No.17847950


>> No.17847951




If Bomber Harris is still alive we are FUCKED.

>> No.17847955


>Hugh Dowding Dead
>Air Chief Marshall Dead

>Malleroy is vice


>> No.17847959


>> No.17847962

>"Man... Hugh Dowding is dead."
Well that's not good.

>> No.17847965

Well that's not good

>> No.17847967


>> No.17847970


>> No.17847983

>"Man... Hugh Dowding is dead."
So I take it this is where history takes a turn for the worst? Fuck. Raise a glass to him, and speculate who is going to take over command for the RAF

>> No.17847986

>bad at history
>very bad at history
>like, inexplicably bad
So who's this Hugh Dowding fellow?

>> No.17847990


>> No.17848010

thats less than ideal.

>> No.17848012


>Dowding was known for his humility and intense sincerity.[8] Fighter Command pilots came to characterise Dowding as one who cared for his men and had their best interests at heart. Dowding often referred to his "dear fighter boys" as his "chicks". Indeed his son Derek was one of them: He was a pilot in 74 Squadron. Because of his brilliant detailed preparation of Britain's air defences for the German assault, and his prudent management of his resources during the battle, Dowding is today generally given the credit for Britain's victory in the Battle of Britain.

Let's hope it was aliums and not... something else.

>> No.17848016

Oh boy, SWQuest!

>Hugh Dowding is dead
Why? Just why?

>> No.17848020


You and Chuck both recoil at that. "Wha- what!? How?"

"Those... we're calling them tele-bots, at the moment. Like the ones that almost ganked us. There were more of them at the major airbases the Martians hit a few days ago, including the Parliament buildings and such. Bodyguards managed their business in most cases, but-"

"Fucking sweet Jesus FUCK," you snarl. "And who's up now?"


"FUCK!" you exclaim.

Chuck is looking confused. "Did I miss something?"

"Malleroy is a massive asshole," you explain. "And he's very good at political dickery. I don't understand British politicking, I just know a backstabbing bastard when I see 'im."

"He's not that bad," Ian counters. "Seems to know his business."

"Unless you disagree with 'im," Sean mutters. "We were stationed with the 442nd at EastChurch, got to hear the limey's bitch about 'im all the time."

The four of you mill about in silence, slowly addressing the beer. The death of the hero of the Battle of Britain is a sobering thing, and sober isn't what any of you want right now.

>> No.17848022

>Hugh Dowding
Raise a beer for this man

>> No.17848032

Fuck, I knew the killerbots would succeed SOMEWHERE.

>> No.17848037

We have a new liver. We should fix that.

>> No.17848044


>Called it

FUUU, wish I was wrong.

We didn't just piss off god's adjunctant, we've now pissed off god.

>> No.17848046

Clearly, the man needs a military memorial service.

In an unused room in the basement.

With more beer than a ruskie can handle.

>> No.17848056

Just for reference, it's Mallory.

>> No.17848098

Speaking of this, planefag, when you have time - what of the other countries? Are the Nazis still in power in Germany? Is Mussolini calling the shots for Italy? What about Japan? Shit, who is the American president?

>> No.17848107

So I see. Very unfortunate.

>> No.17848128

Nazis got ball-kicked, but I think Speers got out. Not sure about anyone else.

>> No.17848136


"It gets worse," Ian says after a minute.

Sean nodded. "I was mucking with the radios, so I happened to overhear a short-range VHF communication between Sutton Farm and somebody on a portable, probably up in the tallest tower of the Castle."

"What 'bout?" you say, drawing on your beer.

"Trude's sister has vanished."

You choke on the fucking beer. "What? What the fuck do you mean?"

"They dug out the room her hospital bed was in. She wasn't in the room. Bed still had her imprint on it and everything."

You consider the mode of communication and come to the obvious conclusion. "They haven't told Trude, have they?"

"And neither should we," Ian says softly.

"Miyafuji basically regenerated my liver," you say, "and in my opinion a new liver is like a new gun."

"Need to break it in?" Ian asks, plopping down on an ammo crate.


You fish out another beer and pop it open by applying it to the frame of your wheelchair in a creative fashion. "So what were you dicking around with the radio equipment for?"

>> No.17848143

Well, he explained that Hitler is dead, so even if the Nazi Party still exists, it's been reduced in craziness.
As for Japan/Fuso, Yamamoto had enough of the Army High Command's crazy, and couched his arguments that they step down in the form of a full broadside from the Yamato's main cannons.

>> No.17848146

i'd laugh my ass off if speer is head of germany because hes the only humane one of the entire damn bunch...

>> No.17848161

In fact, Udet fought his way out of Berlin with Speer in the backseat of a Me-110.

Oh sweet fuck...

>> No.17848162

She's gonna be sent back as an alium assassin. Calling it now.

>> No.17848164

Get laughing, kid.

>> No.17848166

>trudes sister is missing, not dead: just missing
welp, sounds like alium rape time.

>> No.17848172

Son of ten fucks. If the Martians got to her... but how would they know?
That's good, Yamamoto seemed like an alright guy.

>> No.17848182

>Chris disappeared
>not telling Trude
Aw fuck. The Martians got her, didn't they?
And I feel bad for not telling Trude.

>> No.17848184

Point Bomber Harris at Mallory, hopefully they'll kill each other and the RAF can find a COMPETENT replacement for Dowding.

Maybe have the Fleet Air Arm do it? They certainly have good reasons to want to personally strangle the command staff of the RAF.

>> No.17848186

awwww, shit...

>> No.17848198



>> No.17848199

I'm pretty much assuming SW!Yamamoto to be the way he was in Zipang, am I wrong?

>> No.17848201


Since USA seems to be mostly like OTL, I assume FDR is still God King at this point, unless its 44, also is the Bomb being designed, because with no Japan, there is only one clear target for Super to be used..

>> No.17848203

>not telling her that her sister is missing and not dead


>> No.17848209

Possibly-RoboStalin's still running Russia, I think. Most of the relevant world background is at the end of thread 2:

>> No.17848212

I really hope that Goering died with Berlin, because the idea of his running the airforce in a world where that airforce includes a large number of attractive teenage girls without pants is a horrible one.

Also, still hoping for confirmation on the agonizing demises of certain douchebags.

>> No.17848216

we should probably tell sakabroto, because she might not know and may have a different perspective on it.

>> No.17848218

Because she would punch us in the dick?

>> No.17848221

How crazy is the idea of a rescue mission? I mean, finding out where they could have possibly taken her...

>> No.17848222

There are certain things that you don't tell someone who is already angry at you and can make the front of your skull come out the back.

>> No.17848224

It's not our place to tell. It should be from her friend and commanding officer, not somebody who heard it third hand.

Besides, do we REALLY want to right in front of her if she decides to go Muhammed Ali again?

>> No.17848228

she went psycho on us when she found out the hospital was hit.

Imagine how she'll react to the news that ALIEN ABDUCTION MISSION happened to her sister?

>> No.17848237


Hitler was asploded. Stalin was badly wounded, but lives on - possibly with magitech robotics, nobody's quite sure. Neither of them liked their inability to control the national Witch Corps with terror and secret police, and so had almost all of them forward deployed in BumFuck Nowhere. Witches were the only forces to really respond well during the opening "decapitation strikes" of the Martian invasion, since they need little in the way of numbers, supply, organization or preparation to be a formidable fighting force (unlike, say, a ship with half its crew on liberty in port.)

In point of fact, Albert Speer is current head of Germany, and he was evacuated from Berlin by Ernest Udet in a Bf-110. Udet is currently commanding his own squadron, flying in combat, and happier then a pig in shit.

>> No.17848240


While it certainly isn't good news, its better than just assuming your sister is dead, I would think.

>> No.17848246

Because of what Martians have been rumored to do to the humans they capture.

Yeah, I'm kind of agreeing with you. She knows Trude a hell of a lot more than we do. Minna would be best, though, from a purely 'Trude-Experience' context.

>> No.17848247

Tell Minna about Chris, assuming she hasn't already heard. Ask her for her advice on what we should do about telling Trude, if anything.

After all, she knows the Witches better than we do, plus she's their CO.

>> No.17848248

Because she might come to terms with her being dead, but would go bugfuck crazy if she knew that Chris might be alive but missing and probably in danger?

>> No.17848253

XCOM casualty rate if we do this.

calling it now

>> No.17848260

well, that makes my day completely and utterly.
Speer germany=best germany.

>> No.17848262


Oh yes

>> No.17848263

They might still be building the bomb to be used on Neuroi targets, such as the hives or something similar.

>> No.17848265


That makes a scary amount of sense. If we assume that to be true, then those other guys might be right and dropping yeagertits some hints might be helpful.

>> No.17848269


It really means that siscon is going to fly out and murder everything on the france coastline until she gets shot down.

>> No.17848273

If we tell her then she explodes on us again because it's our fault that her sister is being raped and dissected by Phyrex-err, Martians.

It's not our job to tell her.

>> No.17848281


Let me quote from the .doc file I wrote up the alternate timeline in:

>German night bombers accidentally plaster Coventy. Churchill, the brand-new Prime Minister of Britain, has Berlin bombed in retaliation. Hitler, in a frothing rage, orders the RAF Bomber Command be “vaporized.” Goering, unable to reach Bomber Command’s inland airbases with the short range of his fighter escorts and unwilling to launch unescorted strikes after the heavy losses of the prior weeks, is considering the wisdom of asking the Furher for permission to retaliate against London instead. Ernest Udet, ignorant of politics and Goerings predicament between an impossible demand and displeasing Hitler, sarcastically suggests Goering fake photos of destroyed British bombers. To his utter shock, Goering adopts the idea happily and hammers bomber-capable airfields within German escort range, then takes credit for RAF Bomber Command’s “retreat” to inland air-fields. When this actually works, Udet begins drinking heavily.

And yes. Goering is so fucking dead it's not funny.

>> No.17848285

>Little sister taken alive by the Martians
>as opposed to merely killed by them

Dude, picture the Martians as the Dark Eldar in this situation. In both cases, the person in question is almost certainly dead (or heading that way). The former implies a SHITTON more suffering along the way.

>> No.17848288


hey maybe this random assertion is true
lets risk our wings and our lives to find out, with no potential gain!

>> No.17848292

Yeah, Minna should know. It may also help us with her by giving us something serious to talk about besides the SITUATION or kill count dickery.

>> No.17848300

While I'd be happy, it's still not our place. Probably need to talk to Minna about it,

>> No.17848302

It's not our place to mention it, ans it is extremly presumptuous to even assume it is. We would probably just end up pudding off minna I'd we asked her

>> No.17848310

No, best Germany would be run by Paul von Lettow-Vorbeck. Who lived until 1964 IRL, so I wouldn't be surprised if he came back to the colors to fight against aliums (as opposed to fighting for Nazis).

>> No.17848311

so many people died....

We need to keep a logbook of everyone we need to kill a martian for.

and charge a high interest rate

>> No.17848317

Hahahahahaha oh fucking wow.

I think you also have some notes on what the aliums are, too? Mind posting them later, if they're not too spoilery?

>> No.17848321


>Udet begins drinking heavily

>> No.17848324

Only one I'd trust with this is Sakamoto

>> No.17848330

minna hangs out in the towers

the signal was to a portable in the towers

minna knows you dullards.

>> No.17848332

>caring what Minna thinks of us
But Trude is clearly the superior waifu.

>> No.17848333

Well, we have roughly two weeks before they start deploying laser units after we start dopping bombs. Then we upgrade to TSFs.

>> No.17848337


What do the martians do to prisoners, anyways?

Should tell Minna at least, maybe let her break the news somehow.

>> No.17848345


>> No.17848354

In this timeline, we might go for The Big One style of mass producing Super and deploying it with super-heavy escort at every hive, that way we can rush them and produce boundary space between major settled regions and the battlefield. Their technology does not seem to be that much more advanced, and Super should even the odds on the planet.

>> No.17848357

Only one guy has lived to tell about it and it's classified Darker Than Black.

>> No.17848362


I'm expecting the Martians to do similar things to prisoners as another kind of aliens in one certain, post apocapyptic mecha vn

>> No.17848365


They're probably going to try and research their own 'Witches', especially seeing how effective they've been thus far against them, and who better to research on in lieu of a real one, than the unconcious sister of a witch?

>> No.17848367


I suspect she already knows. To the top of the tower? She likely took it from there.

Perhaps we should confirm it with her that she knows, though.

>> No.17848373


Can we have access to the contents of this .doc at some point in the proceedings?

>> No.17848386

Have there been any cases of rescues of abductees?

>> No.17848388

But that begs the question - how do they know she's Trude's sister? Maybe there's some sort of magical radiation they can pick up. Or worse, maybe they have spies in the British government.

>> No.17848394

They probably take the prisoners apart, find out how they work.

>> No.17848397

Starting a WMD fight with an enemy that can probably decide to start dropping rocks from orbit with impunity is not something that will end well for us.

>> No.17848404

>spies in the british Government

Dude, how exactly are you going to hide a huge, tentacled monstros-


>> No.17848410

Exactly one. Henri Giraud. >>17847128

And whatever happened to him is classified so deep that you need to be part of the Illuminati to read it.

>> No.17848411 [DELETED] 

What do the martians do to prisoners, anyways?
Bad Things™

>> No.17848413

So if Patton's on the island, did he bring his tank girls with him?

>> No.17848414


"Sanya was doing the hover-thing because she was picking up Martian communication broadcasts in her sleep," Ian explained. "The others said the flying thing was kind of like sleepwalking."

You snort, and shake your head as Ian briefly summarizes the events for Chuck. "C'mon, the can fly unaided?"

"How do you think they used broomsticks, dink?" Sean says. "Broomsticks are like a staff, or a wand - a physical focus. Can't hold a candle to an actual engine, of course, but still."

"So that's why you called them tele-bots," you say, musing.

"Yeah. The spiders are mechanical, but the rubbery ones..." Ian shrugs. "The eggheads have no fucking clue. Keep on saying things like 'nanopipes' and 'artificial silk fibers' and such."

"Thing is, they haven't subsided," Sean says, pointing up at his radio station, in the Widow. "I don't think anybody here has realized yet, but there's still a shitload of traffic. It's not quite discernible on regular sets; I had to fuck around a lot till I could pick it up."

You mutter darkly. "Well, we'd better tell the brass. Lemme pop up to the dorms and get dressed, and we'll go."

"You mean our dorms, don't cha?" the Aussie engineer drawls.


"Didn't you hear? All your things were moved into rooms in our side 'o the castle an hour ago."

>How does this make you feel?

>> No.17848415

The implications are VERY ugly.

>> No.17848417


they probably dont care that shes trudes sister specifically. just detect magic-->lol shes a witch and defenseless grab it.

>> No.17848426

>Have there been any cases of rescues of abductees?
Read >>17847128
Only one man has ever been successfully recovered from the Martians.

>> No.17848433


That's the idea, yep! I just need to finally finish the damn thing. Haven't quite finished writing up to Black Tuesday, when the Martians actually show up.

>> No.17848439

Change into official uniform, i.e. NO PANTS.

Until Minna orders us to put them on

>> No.17848440


This may prove to be a problem, if true.

>> No.17848442



We'll crash any bed we need if we're really dead tired.

>> No.17848448


our view of the sea!

this is unacceptable!

>> No.17848449

>how does sticking you with lowly ground crew feel
>pic fucking related

>> No.17848452

"I won't be choked to death by random Gaul bitches? FUCK. YES."

>> No.17848453

>living with ground crew

Beneath us

>> No.17848457

Oour stuff has been moved? IT BEGINS.

>> No.17848458

>How does this make you feel?

>putting an officer with pig disgusting enlisted


>> No.17848459


Well. At least we're less likely to get raped.

>> No.17848460

Damn, thanks. Dunno how I read over that bit.

This. That's when we give pants to everyone else.

>> No.17848462


Zero fucks, we've almost died, told one of the big names in our forces has died and replaced with a schmuck and that one hostile witch now has reason to go Full Perrine on our asses. Where we sleep should be of little consiquence compared to all that.

>> No.17848463

This. Oh god this.

>> No.17848464

Too goddamn worn out to care. We came back from the dead to find that the world went considerably more to shit in our absence.

That said, make note to officially protest at a later date being lodged with enlisted men.

>> No.17848466


No offense.

Fuck it, sleep in the plane. be ready for a scramble at any time

>> No.17848467



>> No.17848469


>> No.17848474

>implying we arn't gods made flesh
>implying we arn't wizards

>> No.17848483

We're a pilot, damnit! Not groundcrew slobs!

>> No.17848485

>How does this make you feel?
Feels like we're just gonna have to move everything right back.

>> No.17848486

>How does this make you feel?
Makes me feel like sarcastically asking our commander if there's going to be a male wing commander as well, and if we're going to be getting our own bathing facilities. Hey, maybe we can even get another castle built right next door, to really drive the segregation home!

>> No.17848487




>> No.17848495



>> No.17848498

WE NEED PROPER ROOMS THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE. I mean sure if they want us more to one end or something thats fine, but with ground crews? HELL NAW.

>> No.17848500

lulz, epic troll time, activate.

>> No.17848506


In this timeline, we might go for The Big One style of mass producing Super and deploying it with super-heavy escort at every hive, that way we can rush them and produce boundary space between major settled regions and the battlefield. Their technology does not seem to be that much more advanced, and Super should even the odds on the planet.

Also, Neuroi Witches? Because, Neuroi Witches time

>> No.17848509

ITT: bitch being a bitch. move along, nothing to see just business as usual.

>> No.17848516

>move everything into Minna's room
>move her stuff in with Hartmann's piles


>> No.17848518


>> No.17848519

Supporting this wholeheartedly.

>> No.17848524


Don't be an ass. The ground crew are bros and there's no better place to be in an attack. Those guys can fight!

>> No.17848529

We're all night flyers, basically?

We move our shit back while the Witches are on day patrol, preferably into their rooms (on the "one occupant asleep, one on patrol" principle).

Just to troll, we stick Ian's shit in Perrine's room. Sean's in Sakabroto's. Chuck's in Shirley's. Ours in... hmm, Erica's I think. She appreciates a good joke.

>> No.17848535


"Why do you own an apartment if you always sleep in the office?"
"So I'm never late to work."

Why complain when we can just sleep in the plane. It's better than home. Or a bed. Plus sleep is for the weak and the (very) drunk, and we're not drunk yet.

>> No.17848538


Neuroi Witch always reminds me of Chie.

>> No.17848542

Create Box fort in the enlisted men's Quarters.


In crayon, write NO GIRLS ALLOWED

>> No.17848548


...blackface time?

>> No.17848556


Though if this happened when the spiderbots went nuts, then they can't have moved her very far. As we know there have been a number of alien craft shot down in allied territory, now we know on purpose to distribute these things. We can only assume they have had enough oppertunity to sneak in actual resources enough to make a functioning foward base, after all if they managed to get in here, then a spot in the British countryside should be easy. However until they can fly out of there with our presumed captive witch we should be good. Though I doubt it would be long before they came in for a pickup.

>> No.17848558



>> No.17848559

"No Witches Aloud"
Add a black and white Maltese cross and we're good

>> No.17848568

>Don't be an ass.
The way some of us have been playing the MC, we're a bigger asshole than Minna is a bitch.
Only reason people put up with us is because at least we're willing to put our money where our mouth is and are good enough to back it up.

But no, no offense to the groundcrew, but this is a matter of pilot's pride.

>> No.17848570

Seems the most reasonable response here.
Needs more arrogance

>> No.17848572

Do this in front of Minna's door.

>> No.17848575

we need pants to protect our dangly parts from slicy alium spiders
Shirts, however....

>> No.17848583


>> No.17848591

>Just to troll, we stick Ian's shit in Perrine's room. Sean's in Sakabroto's. Chuck's in Lucchini's. Ours in... hmm, Shirley's I think. She appreciates a good joke.

This is a good plan.

>> No.17848597


>> No.17848598

Also, Forge a new contraband List and post it in a public space.

list should include "Giving Fucks, pants, Shirts, Cheap liquor, Minna's pocketwatch"

>> No.17848599

I don't care how big of bros they are. We have principles, goddamnit!

And for that matter, they probably don't want pilots actually living there either.

...time to get the engineers to do petty but incredibly annoying bullshit (broken coffee machines, baths blocked off and cold showers only, etc.) until this is fixed.

>> No.17848602



But that reminds me, are the Tuskegee red tails or Patton's Panthers active in this timeline? Because if they are we need to roll these guys in for extra high badass concentrations.

>> No.17848610

>Support sleeping in the plane or hanger

>> No.17848612

This. It has to be this.

>> No.17848616

Leave some cheap porn in Minna's room

>> No.17848617

>patton's panthers
Oh god thanks for reminding me I need to read that book again

>> No.17848621


Chuck turns to you, face pale.

"They... they didn't."

"We're going to sleep with... with the ENLISTED," you breathe, horrified.

"Ah, cry more, you wankers," the Aussie retorts from atop his turret. "We're gonna have to sleep near OFFICERS." He makes the sign of the cross hastily before going back to the guns.

Ian takes a deep breath, and steadies himself. "So. Did you know Perrine hasn't seen that picture in the paper yet?"

"Oh," Sean says, "most of the Witches think you're hovering near death, still. Minna's kept her trap shut - miracles do happen - and they sent a man down here to tell us not an hour ago that you survived your second... mojo session with Miyafuji," he tells you. "Charlotte was here. But the rest of 'em..." he shrugs.

You stroke your chin. "Okay, how do we exploit this for maximum chaos?"

>> No.17848623

I second this as well.

"So I don't get lodging as a pilot? Fuck you then, I'll sleep in my plane."

>> No.17848624

Do eet

>> No.17848625

Pilots CANNOT stay with ground crew

They'll kill each other.


>> No.17848643

>...time to get the engineers to do petty but incredibly annoying bullshit (broken coffee machines, baths blocked off and cold showers only, etc.) until this is fixed.
>we stick Ian's shit in Perrine's room. Sean's in Sakabroto's. Chuck's in Shirley's

Column A, Column B

>> No.17848644


>Oh, sorry. WAT DO?
>Any trolling you've been meaning to get to - DO IT NOW.

>> No.17848647


Anyways, Don a white sheet, wear nothing underneath it, and "Haunt" the lounge

>> No.17848650

We must become the ghost of pants. Our spirit demands these little girls wear pants so that we may pass on.

>> No.17848653


disguise ourselves as a ghost by cutting eyeholes out of a sheet and putting it on.

roll around the hallways going woooOOOoooOOooOOOOoooooo as loud as we can.

>> No.17848656


Come on. We have it for a reason.

>> No.17848657


Oh dude I read that book. That's how I know they're fucking badasses (or that they even exist).


So it begins.

>> No.17848659

>You stroke your chin. "Okay, how do we exploit this for maximum chaos?"


anyways we should probably start forging orders on minna notepad and start screwing with people and let them continue to think you are all kinds of fucked up.

>> No.17848661


>> No.17848665

First, use GNOMENESS to fuck with SHOWERS AND BATHING.

Second, get back to medical and continue to be dead. On the third day, rise from the grave.

>> No.17848669

Can we combine trolling with both protesting our treatment and giving out the pants and shades somehow?

>> No.17848673

Pretend to be a ghost!

>> No.17848674

We need kilts.

>> No.17848676

>You stroke your chin. "Okay, how do we exploit this for maximum chaos?"


>> No.17848679

First of all:

>perform GENDO POSE


>> No.17848683

What would be the best use of our newspaper clipping? Maybe we should frame it.

>> No.17848685

>we stick Ian's shit in Perrine's room. Sean's in Sakabroto's. Chuck's in Shirley's
>Construct fort
>Pretend to be dead
>Take panties, leave only trousers.

>> No.17848687


I like these plans.

>> No.17848690


>> No.17848695

Can we walk yet?
If so.
>Apply white sheet
>Flight jacket
>Haunt the castle

>> No.17848704

get ian and sean to invite everyone to a memorial service for us. get a casket but keep it closed. halfway through roll up in the wheelchar "he, hey sorry im late" and start trying to climb into the casket.

>> No.17848709

Use NEWSPAPER with NOTEPAD. Acquire Minna's Note On French Bitches Sexuality

>> No.17848713

This would be hillarious

>> No.17848714



>> No.17848715


>Any trolling you've been meaning to get to - DO IT NOW.


>> No.17848716

Enlarge it, build Billboard.

>> No.17848726


COMBINE! We go around pretending we're a ghost and, just when everyone is fucking sick of it have Ian do this.

>> No.17848733

This, all of this.

Just add false orders and memos

>> No.17848738

>write love letter to Sakamoto on Minna's pad addressed from Minna
>attach picture and add note about how frenchie is a floozy
>leave somewhere frenchie will find it



>> No.17848739

Minna knows we're alive, that would ruin any funeral trolling plans.

UNLESS... we show up and claim the service is not for us - it's for Hugh Dowding. People serious the fuck up, and we can deliver some stealth trolling for Minna, since she was a part of the Blitz.

>> No.17848744

Hmm, need to co-op charlotte and Miyafuji into the plan.

Get them to distract Minna, say its' a surprise or something and get her away and arrive later.

Use the pad and word of mouth, say MC passed away and his will said to be buried at sea asap. He to be dropped from his plane into the sea.

Load craft with PANTS and a pair of aviators stuffed into their pockets each.

As the P-61 flies overhead, dump the pants on them.

>> No.17848748

>suggestions of faking our funeral
I'm pretty sure Minna will kill the fun by just telling everybody.

>> No.17848758

Nah, man. Using Dowding like that goes from trolling to tasteless douchebaggery.

>> No.17848762

Whatever we do, we should remember to give the witches their pants and aviators.

>> No.17848768

I like this plan. Lets do it.

>> No.17848776


Dude what.





>> No.17848779

YES! We must do this.

How can she? Ian comes in teary-eyed, we're in the medical, what is she gonna do? 'No, the witches will not honor his sacrifice.

>> No.17848781

Yeah, this sounds better than my idea.

>> No.17848784

Wear sheet and pretend to be ghost. Put Aviators on over sheet.

>> No.17848792


These two. One is simple enough to be fun. One is complicated enough to be MAGNIFICENT.

>> No.17848793


THIS, oh yes, this!

>> No.17848795

the whole funeral thing seems unworkably complex and genuinely dickish.

>> No.17848796





>> No.17848797

Also, find frenchy.
Ask her to sign the newspaper before we get it framed.

>> No.17848826

Anything involving funeral trolling is going to backfire spectacularly

>> No.17848833

Trude might take this very wrong, though ("you think it's fucking FUNNY to joke with death, asshole?") But we can solve that by using the pad to order the witches to stand in formation to receive some random dignitary - like, uh, a Mssr. T. Rouser.

Then we fly over, dump the pants on them, then land and give them the aviators before they punch us back into the hospital bed.

>> No.17848834

Post newspaper in mess hall and outside Minna's office

>> No.17848854

Chuck snaps his fingers. "Lets go Tom Swift on them!"

Ian looks at him blankly.

"Uh... Tom Sawyer?"

"... oh," Ian says. "But he already tipped his hand. Can't exactly have a funeral for a man who's been seen rolling around, quite alive."

"Oh, really?" Sean says, sniggering wickedly. "Only Minna and Charlotte know. Minna's too busy with the brass to actually show up in the kitchen for meals. It's almost lunchtime."

"I can take care of Shirley," Chuck says confidently. "If... she doesn't take care of me, first," he says cautiously, looking about the hangar.

You huddle closer, laying your plans with precision and gleeful malice. The Aussie groundcrewman listens in so intently he almost falls amongst you, at which point you badger him for the aid of his mates, which he grants immediately. Filthy officers treading around in their hallowed, poorly-supervised living quarters is hardly to be tolerated, after all.

You roll away to find a nice, quiet corner to sleep the day away in, until tonight, when the real action begins. But before that, there's... lunch. That's a repast you'll want to witness.

And you know just where to hide.

>> No.17848863

With regards to the funeral, Charlotte has probably already told the others.

>> No.17848865

you have a point there, hadn't considered that.

>> No.17848872




>> No.17848879

Can't be the fridge, Rommel's already in there.

>> No.17848881


>> No.17848885

You know, their command structure isn't quite as rigid as ours. Crucify Minna with public opinion.

See all the witches.
Look very tired.
Mention that you're ready to scramble since you were just released.
Mention that even though you were just released Minna transferred to the other side of the base.
imply heavily that you had to move all your shit yourself.

>> No.17848887



>> No.17848888


I swear to fucking GOD, we act like we're fucking autistic.

>> No.17848892


Oh dear.

>> No.17848893

"Never know what hit 'em."

>> No.17848895

Do we give any fucks?


>> No.17848896

Well, when it does go wrong, we can (in-character) blame the idea on Chuck.

>> No.17848897


>Lord coselys

>> No.17848898


well shit, they can just have the funeral again right after they kill us.

>> No.17848904

When all of this goes terribly pear-shaped and we get punched again, I hope you all keep in mind that being a pilot doesn't protect you from the warranted and righteous retribution for our assholish behavior.

With that said, I can't wait to see how badly this goes.

>> No.17848907


>> No.17848911


Well this is going to end as a spectacular distaster.

>> No.17848913



>> No.17848916

Hey, I was pushing for non-funeral trolling too. But this is going to be fucking hilarious.

>> No.17848917

Oh boy.

This won't end well.

>> No.17848918


Well then. If this is going down, this is going down with as much STYLE as any human or gnome has ever STYLED before.

>> No.17848924

bracing for 'find work in depression era america' quest.

>> No.17848926

oh god this is going to be terrible

>> No.17848933

Forgot your pic.

>> No.17848939


Planefag, which plan are you going with?

>> No.17848941


You poke your head up above the ficus, scan the hallway, and duck down again as footsteps echo down the stone-floored corridor.

As unusually well-equipped with random suits of armor, ancient weapons and decorative ficus plants Castle Barin may be, you still had to get Sean to drag four or five of the fuckers together in a clump to shield you AND your wheelchair. It's rather obvious-looking, but everybody seems pretty preoccupied with the tense meetings between ranking generals, the death of Dowding, and, you know, the war.

Which is probably why you and yours are putting so much effort into pranking the Witches - the alternative is to go insane with fear and loathing, and that shit just doesn't fly outside of Vegas.

At long last, the coast is clear, and you gun the wheelchair, zooming out from your makeshift blind, around the corner, and into the kitchen. Hoisting yourself onto the counter, you collapse your chair and ram it in between the fridge and the counter, then with your strong arms, pop open the refrigerator and sling yourself inside.

>> No.17848944


probably writing his own 'fake funeral' scenario.

>> No.17848945

Remember, if we slow down, the laws of probability of chance will stop being shocked at our audacity ans burn us. We can never stop, only become a legend.

>> No.17848956


Thank you kind sir. My image library is poorly organized.

>> No.17848963

So it begins.

>> No.17848964


Oh god the fridge.

>> No.17848970

Nah, they'll just hand us a broom and reassignment orders to some hole in hell that we will spend the rest of our days cleaning, assuming we don't find a jail cell at the end of all of this. Good times await us, gentlemen.

>son washmen
ooh, Captcha threw in its bets with me eh?

>> No.17848973

rolled 1 = 1

Rolling to perceive all the reasons why this is a horrible horrible idea doomed to end in flames.


>> No.17848975

Hey, have they invented those disguise glasses with the fake eyebrows and mustaches yet?

Show up wearing one of those

>> No.17848976

well then

>> No.17848978

>the fridge

>> No.17848986



>> No.17848988

>Trapped in a fridge with Rommel

This is going to get really weird really fast.

>> No.17848990


>> No.17848992

This is a good sign

>> No.17848993


ahahaha OH FUCK

>> No.17848998



>> No.17848999


Wait. Rommel cleared out that fridge for a reason. How can he hide in it if we're there?

Alternatively, it's LUNCHTIME. People are going to be opening that fridge for FOOD. Unless we're going to be the fridge ghost, this is a pretty bad plan.

>> No.17849008

Well, I have to admit, this is certainly one way we can end any romantic feelings the witches have for us.

By convincing them that we're utter assholes beyond redemption. Maybe we can make Luuchini cry!

>> No.17849014




>> No.17849017

Old style fridges latch. Once inside, we'll be stuck.

>> No.17849018

Remember to give no fucks when the big reveal comes, do a wheelie in the wheelchair.

Saying this earliy because I won't be able to watch for the next 3 hours.

>> No.17849020

If anyone opens it, give em no more than a glance and a "'sup? mind knocking next time?"

>> No.17849021


>> No.17849032

So, Diego Garcia quest?
You are on an ISLAND.
There is 1 WITCH along with 4 BOMBERS.

>> No.17849035


In the darkness of the refrigerator, snug in your flight jacket and pants, you briefly wonder where hell Rommel is. You figure he just needed to duck Patton for a few minutes, but he thoughtfully left the fridge empty.

On impulse, you reach overhead, pushing the door open just an inch, and sure enough you locate some beers in the freezer section, next to some Popsicle. You retrieve it, pop the lid, and wait smugly.

Witches file into the dining room next door over the next few minutes, some of them coming into the kitchen. You tense, but true to form, lunch is mostly cold-cuts and delicious sammiches, none of which were in this particular fridge.

After a bit, you pop the door of the fridge and hear Ian clear his throat. "Before we begin... ladies, please fill your glasses."

There's some scattered queries, but they die down. You imagine Ian, Sean and Chuck all looking very, very somber. The clink of bottles on wine glasses reaches your ears.

>> No.17849037


Well at least we have a backup plan that unfortunately/fortunately cancels out our funeral plan. At least minor trolling will be had.

>> No.17849052


>> No.17849060


>> No.17849069


we rolled a wis check to avoid this and got nat one. even if it aint a critical failure im sure our modifier wond make a passing score from that.

this shit is happening.

>> No.17849071

I fully expect for Rommel to join us in the fridge, ask us to pass him a beer and then proceed to wait patiently as we are.

>> No.17849072


Party. Hard.

They can't do much more to us than they already have.

>> No.17849081

So on a scale of 1 to FATAL, how much worse does this make things?

>> No.17849082

>After a bit, you pop the door of the fridge and hear Ian clear his throat. "Before we begin... ladies, please fill your glasses."

Oh god Ian's gonna lay it on thick. He is going to deserve a fucking medal if he pulls this performance off without a single fucking grin.

>> No.17849091

Oh anon. You are about to learn just how wrong you are.

>> No.17849093

see if we can't cram in a few other guys, maybe sakobroto.


>> No.17849096

Forgot your pic

>> No.17849106

Who are we gonna fool, exactly?

Somehow i get the feeling we're about to get countertrolled.

>> No.17849107

maybe Rommel's insight has located the single location on base that is protected from witches.

Magic Clown Car Fridge of Witch Repelling.

>> No.17849110


"Ladies - and the odd gentleman," Sean begins. "I'd like to take a second to remember our dear - our dear -" he breaks off, and you can literally see his smooth, polished tearful-warrior-missing-his-friend act. You've seen it in enough bars to have it memorized, though you could never pull it off like he did. "Anyway, I'd just like to toast the - he knew his duty and went for it and - oh - oh HELL," he says. There's a pause as he downs his drink, then a shattering sound as a glass hits the wall. You hear Sean stomp out of the room.

There's a horrible, shocked silence in the dining room.

"Sorry," Ian says, so softly you can scarce hear him. "He... he isn't taking it well."

You let the refrigerator door close gently to stifle the sound of your wicked, horrible, evil snickers.

>> No.17849113

wait fuck. miyafuji knows, and no one shoo'd her off. SHES GONNA BLOW THIS.

>> No.17849114

If everything fails, CRAZY IVAN.

>> No.17849115


Like an even more retarded version of the beginning of Indiana Jones 4?

>> No.17849125

Or maybe we'll just give her a deep OH GOD I COULDN'T SAVE HIM I'M SUCH A FAILURE complex.

I hope not, I like the kid.

>> No.17849127

We are going to need more of Yoshika's healing after this...

>> No.17849128


This is turning into a trainwreeeck

>> No.17849131

But wait, Miyafuji trolled US by sending us into the bath without any warnings.
I think she's learning.

>> No.17849132

Well, it certainly was fun being alive enough to pretend we were dead.

>> No.17849138

Couldn't save him...so he stuffed himself into the fridge and took all the bratwurst, using his magical meat-magic to heal himself.

>> No.17849140

Sorry, all these Trude and Minna pictures are confusing me. Is there an option to get them both really drunk and go singing together?

>> No.17849141

As do I. She's like our adorable niece or something.

We need to leave her money every here and there. It's our duty as her "uncle."

>> No.17849143

Or maybe she'll figure it out and play along!

>> No.17849144

Just remember she set us up for the bath. I get the feeling she'll end up a trolling connoisseur.

>> No.17849145


That's for the alternate scenario where they've already shipped us out to bumfucknowhwere. cleaning toilets. it doesn't get much worse than that.

>> No.17849151

>Upsetting Yoshika

>> No.17849164

She's certainly a boobs connoisseur.

>> No.17849170

Have to agree. I doubt there will be enough left if the body to have an actual funeral.

>> No.17849182

well if they take our wings we can sign on to some foreign airforce.theres probably still volunteers in china. or we could just tell the russians we suddenly became very passionate about communism they'll probably take anything they can get.

broventures with mechastalin quest?

>> No.17849190


But with more explosions.

>> No.17849195

Diego Garcia quest, we can raid from the wilds of the Indian Ocean, deep into the heart of the Indonesian jungles, and back again, occasionally landing on mercenary Escort carriers.

>> No.17849200


>those eyes

We're dead.

>> No.17849216


"Does Miyafuji know?" you hear Eila ask quietly.

"She.. she exhausted herself helping him," Ian says - which is technically true. "She's still sleeping." There's the scrape of a chair on hardwood floor, and Ian says hastily "no - let her sleep. She'll know soon enough."

"Oh." Eila's chair creaks as she sits down again.

Perrine seems especially hard-hit. "I didn't.... I..." you hear another chair scraping, and somebody shifting position. "I'm so sorry. He was a good fighter."

"He's got a strong soul," Ian says, his voice cracking a little. "Wherever he is... I hope he's happy."

You suck your face into your mouth, desperately fighting back whoops of helpless laughter.

"Will... will you be okay?" Perrine is asking Ian.

"I... I don't want to think that far ahead," Ian says truthfully. "I just..." his voice sounds faint, weary.


"I - I - I won't leave your side!" Perrine declares extravagantly. "It's the least I can do for your friend. Look after his crew."

>> No.17849233

Oh man, are we going to ruin Ian's fling too?


>> No.17849236

the backlash from trolling them this hard is going to be the end of us and our new liver...

>> No.17849237

Oh, Perrine. You don't miss an opportunity, do you?

>> No.17849242

One way or the other this will end horribly. My money is on either the witches going beserk after we pop out of the fridge, or the witches are all gathered around the fridge waiting for us because Ian and Sean are dicks. Either way, pain awaits us.

>> No.17849244

Oh yeah there isn't going to be a body after this.

>> No.17849248

So are we seeing now why this was a bad idea? People were just starting to take a liking to us.

>> No.17849255

Well, at least the rest of the guys are going down in flames with us.

>> No.17849264

which in itself is enough reason for us to exploit their weaknesses for our own amusement.

>> No.17849266

Oh god
Oh fuck
The backlash... oh god....

This is going perfectly

>> No.17849269

>"I - I - I won't leave your side!" Perrine declares extravagantly. "It's the least I can do for your friend. Look after his crew."

And this is where we lose Ian's help in this plan.

>> No.17849276

Can we salvage this trainwreck at all? Like have our MC just show up in the hangar fixing the Widow with his coolface on after everyone starts belting him with questions after they realize it was a sham?

>> No.17849277


this was a BRILLIANT idea. so what if it fucks MC over. its a good read!

>> No.17849279

they cant kill what they cant catch WE MUST MAKE A BREAK FOR IT

>> No.17849284

We are going to deserve everything that comes at us.
At least Trude isn't here. At least I hope.

People wanted to troll! People wanted to give no fucks! People wanted to be an asshole hotshot pilot!

And now we're turning out to be the douchebag pilot that acts like the hottest shit on base even though he's still at the bottom of the kill tally board.

>> No.17849286

>the witches are all gathered around the fridge waiting for us because Ian and Sean are dicks

Do it, planefag

>> No.17849287

Hang on, we got the Aussie and his ground crew in our plan too. What the hell are we actually planning to do?

>> No.17849288

on rollerblades?

>> No.17849289

We can totally save ourselves. Make it look like we had no idea what Ian and Sean were planning!

>> No.17849305

we must yell "YOU TWO ARE DIICKS!"

>> No.17849307


Oh god my sides. Counter-trolling the troll. Fucking brilliant.

>> No.17849308

this can still work to our favor. Everybody tells Minna how much they already miss us and are sad we're gone. Minna has know idea about the funeral, so to appease her witches she moves us back into our old quarters.

>> No.17849310

I'm sure that'll explain our hiding in the fridge

>> No.17849316


>> No.17849319


"I- Perrine, I - aaaah," Ian says, exhaling with a shaky rattle in his chest. It sounds an awful lot like a purposely-sabotaged diaphragm vibrato to you, but that's the kind of detail only a trained singer would notice.

Thankfully, none of the girls seem to have been in church choirs, because nobody cottons to it. "You poor thing," Perrine says soothingly, and you can imagine her hugging Ian... and that smarmy motherfucker soaking up every second of it.

"It's the way of life," you hear Gertrude say firmly, her voice ice-cold. "Everything we care about is eventually taken from us... until we've not enough left in our hearts to recognize ourselves as human."

Your snickers die in your throat.

You hear a chair clatter as it topples over. "Be thankful," Trude says to Ian. "You will be a much better soldier, once you're numb to the pain." Trude simply walks out, her booted footfalls neither angry nor dramatic - just measured and resolute.

>> No.17849320

>hiding in the fridge
There's no "save ourselves" at this point.

>> No.17849324

They threw us in there! Seriously, who would hide in a fridge? That's just crazy.

>> No.17849326

Planefag, i was wondering if, after you finish your alternate history document, if it would be ok with you if i ran a tankwitches quest based in the same timeline?

>> No.17849328

I don't know what's more funny, planefag's posts or people scrambling in panic now that they've realized what they got MC into.

>> No.17849333

That's not cool, were crew we look out for each other.
We blame the new guy.

>> No.17849334



>> No.17849335


>> No.17849336

"Ok, funs gone, jokes over."

>> No.17849337


>> No.17849338


>> No.17849340


Hells to the yes, friend! No problem.

>> No.17849344



>> No.17849345

well, shit...
It was a good ride, gents.

>> No.17849346

Kick door open.


>> No.17849351

>"You will be a much better soldier, once you're numb to the pain." Trude simply walks out

>> No.17849352

I think we need to stop the shame now...

>> No.17849354

Great, Trude has now turned her MIND TO STEEL.

Which is only setting her up for an even greater breakdown once she learns what happened to Chris.

>> No.17849358

I hope he doesn't get locked in the fridge.

>> No.17849359


We are so fucked this has gone past funny

>> No.17849360

Yeah, the only way we're making this up to her is to help her go rescue her sister from alium experimentation.

On the plus side, it should make a fun session. The character's idea of enjoyment doesn't always overlap with the player's, after all.

>> No.17849362

Please tell me the pants and aviators are in the coffin.

>magehorn presente

>> No.17849363


>> No.17849364


>> No.17849370

:< We need to give Trude a hug. Or fifty.

>> No.17849374

So, guys who pushed for the funeral idea. Are you happy now?
Pissing off our potential wingmate, the person who's supposed to give us cover, by reminding them of the sister they just lost, was a great idea, wasn't it?

>> No.17849375


>> No.17849378

Our best hope is taking this from being a joke into a fucking LESSON TO NEVER LOSE FAITH. And maybe a bit of IS THIS ALL I MEANT TO YOU? A REASON TO WHINE SOME MORE?!?

>> No.17849380

Guys. It's not "Wat do?". We'll have to ride this to the end.

>> No.17849381

Unpossible, we aren't officially the heroine's love interest yet.

>> No.17849385


>> No.17849386


Might as well kick down the door in a shower of PANTS and AVIATORS.

Or if they happen to find us, claim we were hiding to hand out gifts as a surprise, and that the funeral thing was the NEW GUY's idea.

>> No.17849390


We told you it would end in tears, and here it is.

>> No.17849395

I warned you, you fools!
Inb4 bad end

>> No.17849408


More like this IS the bad end.

Diego Garcia Quest is up next guys. It's been fun.

>> No.17849411

I didn't see any of you go: "This is stupid.", before this whole shebang started. Hindsight, eh?

>> No.17849423

shit what key did i bind quickload to? uhh.. uhh...

>> No.17849424

I hope we saved earlier, cause we dun fucked up good.

>> No.17849426

Why couldn't we have just done the ghost-trolling

>> No.17849427

Fuck you, I did.>>17848833

>> No.17849431

I expected an Ace to have a better sense of timing...

>> No.17849432

Yes we did. It just turns out that the people who wanted to troll battle-hardened veterans got their wish, and it wasn't what they dreamed it would be.

>> No.17849434

yeah now we have an actual reason to help them save their sister.

>> No.17849435

A lot of us were for wearing a sheet and going "OOooooOOOoooOOO" up and down the halls with aviators and a flight jacket on

>> No.17849436

>"You poor thing," Perrine says soothingly, and you can imagine her hugging Ian... and that smarmy motherfucker soaking up every second of it.
So did we cure Perrine of her gay?

>> No.17849437

This isn't stupid, we just sneak into Trude's room three days from now wearing a robe and go 'sup'.

Because we give no fucks, and we are gonna turn these girls into badass pilots even if it emotionally kills them.

>> No.17849438

Some of us did. Unfortunately, it was too late.
I partially blame myself. I thought "no way is something that stupid going to be chosen for the course of action. We're not THAT stupid."
I am continuously proven wrong in that regard.

>> No.17849443

Welp, this was fun while it lasted.

>> No.17849444


Most of the ideas were more tame "Hurr durr we are the ghost of PANTS" and NO GIRLS ALOUD stuff.

>> No.17849459

Okay, wehave to somehow get to Trude's room and sit on the windowsill. she comes in and is shocked to see us, we lecture her about humanity, blahblahb;lah. when she glances away we fall out of the windowso she's not sure if we were ever really there.

>> No.17849460

The only possible salvation is to turn this into a moral lesson of some kind, full of faith and perseverance. This reaction by everyone has been terrible, we wanted to know how they would act to this news and now we see.

>> No.17849466


Ghost of Aviators Past man, get it right.

>> No.17849467

First, fuck you.

Second, new thread time? We're over 500 posts here.

>> No.17849479

No. The goal of this was trolling, getting a cheep laugh because fuck this war. Trude just killed our fun, with is understandable. However, why can't we have fun with the rest? Because it's hilarious.

>> No.17849483


...and ghost of future pants?

>> No.17849485

Perrine being with Ian is pretty cute.

On the other hand NOW WE FUCKED UP

>> No.17849487

those that burn brightest, burn fastest.

>> No.17849494

Sup cunt

>> No.17849499

You seem to forget that these Witches already ARE battle-hardened aces. They've all got more kills than us, and most of them have lost just as much family and friends as us (due to being in the Martian invasion corridor).
The only difference is that they're not arrogant assholes like us. Which some people would consider to be a plus in their favor.
We might have gotten ace in a day, but we've still got the lowest kill tallys on this entire base.

>> No.17849505

>sit on the windowsill
Bad idea, this time around she would defenestrate us without a second thought.

>> No.17849513


we beat lynne and yoshika.

>> No.17849522

There were plenty of us pushing for the fort and ghost trolling

>> No.17849525


>later that night

"You sure about this?" you ask warily, peeking over the edge of the dormitory wing's sloping roof.

"Works well enough on forty-liter engine blocks, ya big pussy," Sean grunts, manhandling the block-and-tackle. "Should hold up your fat fucking ass for a few minutes, no problem."

You marvel at the work your crewmates put into the preparations. "What's with the wax?"

"So the rope won't make much sound where it rubs against the edge of the roof," Sean replies. "Now shut up and get your stupid cripple ass into this sling."

You obey. The "sling" is just your parachute harness, with the hooks attached to the rope threaded through the tackle, instead of a parachute. You left your reserve chute on it, and donned your flight jumpsuit, helmet and goggles. With white face-paint liberated from god-knows-where, and the waning moon's weak illumination, you cut quite a ghostly figure.

You hope.

"Anchors away, motherfucker," Sean says, and he and Ian carefully work to rappel you down the roof. Your stomach lurches as your feet slide into open air, but the tackle has been bolted to the rooftop, with more prepared bolts driven into the rooftop along the way, above other windows.

>> No.17849530

Stay in the fridge and leave once everyone's done; then get your ass back to bed.

>> No.17849535


We still have whatever we got the ground crew to do. And honestly, fuck Trude being angry - she's going to learn about her sister sometime and this fake stoicness is going to murder her when that happens. We need to make her cut that shit out fast even if she goes all Punch Witch on us.

>> No.17849536

Maybe Ian will take pity on us, say that he needs a fucking drink or something and opens the fridge, to which we hand him a beer silently, deep in thoughts of our own.

>> No.17849537

oh god no

>> No.17849543


>> No.17849544

ahahahah oh shit this is going to backfire horribly, we are gonna get shot or some shit

>> No.17849545

YES! Remember to go 'oOOOOooOoOOOOoooo'!

>> No.17849548

see, some ghost trolling! >>17849525

>> No.17849553


I'm beginning to this this is a not-so subtle rebuke to the random trolling crowd from PlaneFag.


>> No.17849557

He's not.

He is.

>> No.17849558

I hate you planefage.

>> No.17849559

No! This is good! This is the only way to save ourselves. We're committed to this prank now. The only good way out of this is to go totally over the top with it!

Refuge in Audacity!

>> No.17849560


We've got to lay off the morphine, it's giving us a disposition for terrible decision making which will probably get us killed. Also a patchy memory as what happened EARLIER THAT NIGHT?

>> No.17849561


Trude is going to punch our head clean offffff

>> No.17849564


At least, at the end of the day, we know that our bros have our back.

...and that they find this as hilarious as we do.

>> No.17849565

You know, if all of this goes according to plan, we could use the prelude of us dropping aviator shades-laden-pants to go rescue Chris. I mean, I don't know about the rest of you, but considering that we wouldn't want to stop at base for a "decent" amount of time after this prank, and we'll already be in the deepest shit for it, we might as well go all the way.

>> No.17849576

...we're going to get court-martialed and kicked out of the unit, aren't we.

>> No.17849578


>> No.17849582

And that's what matters in the end.

>> No.17849596

You sir, are one EVIL motherfucker.

I applaud you! Nice quest, now that we've reached its end.

>> No.17849598

At this point this is kinda like watching a train wreck, except the train somehow managed to keep going, and is now a flaming hulk of horror and devastation careening uncontrolled down a track, directly towards some settlement full of hope, dreams and gasoline.

>> No.17849604

Also, that we're emotionally and ectoplasmically bouncing witches.

>> No.17849605

OHhh, oh god...this is going to be glorious.

>> No.17849626

I have to say, I was not expecting our MC to be this suicidal.
The entire base is on edge with the two Martian ground attacks, everyone is armed, and now we're going to try tapping at people's windows.

>> No.17849627

We're going to just be left hanging there for a day or two, aren't we.

>> No.17849628


You know, I think, deep down, some of these witches must KNOW, they KNOW that we're not above this, given the amount of BOUNCE that has happened.

...and that a massive counter-troll awaits. Especially if EVERYONE but us is in on it.

>> No.17849637

You said you weren't going to allow anon to write this character stupid.


>> No.17849641


Given the fortune-telling bullshit, you all figured that Eila would be the easiest target.

You're not disappointed.

Hanging outside her window on black-painted ropes, you grab the window jamb with your fingers and swing yourself a little closer to it. Moving your face just close enough to the window that it can be half-seen in the dark, hovering above the sillouete of you in your uniform, you slap your palm against the glass.

Eila jerks upright in bed immediately, looking around blearily. Her sleep-clouded eyes turn to the window, and you wait a heartbeat until you see them widen in shock before shoving away from the glass. Ian and Sean put their backs into it, and haul you out of sight almost immediately.

The bloodcurdling scream comes a second later.

Two minutes later, you and your boys hear the window below you open. "See?" you all hear Shirley say. "No *ghosts* out here, no sir."

"But... but I saw..."

"Probably just some bats," Shirley says. "Nasty things. Rats with wings," she snips pointedly, and closes the windows again.

"Good going, Chuck!" Ian sniggers. "He brought her 'round."

>> No.17849645

So..... Kp duty for the remainder of the war

>> No.17849646

They are all naked.

>> No.17849649

This is like a car crash in slow motion. I'm watching us fly through the windshield.

>> No.17849651


>hope, dreams and gasoline.

sounds like our kinda place

>> No.17849655

oh lord

>> No.17849657


>> No.17849658

Well this quest was nice, but it seems like it's coming to an end seeing how there won't be anything left of the MC to bury after this.

>> No.17849666


We are so dead.

>> No.17849671

Oh, god, I am sniggering uncontrollably right now. I fucking love this insane bastard and his insane bastard friends.

Also, make rat noises.

>> No.17849674


we worked hard at it man.

>> No.17849676

to be fair us haunting them is a reasonable assumption, you know, with our track record...

>> No.17849682

over 500 posts.... new thread?

>> No.17849685


The number of people in on the joke grows.


The counter-troll theory gains momentum.

>> No.17849694


We are getting shot if we do this to Trude.

>> No.17849699



>> No.17849700


You know... This sounds like one hell of a way to fix the situation. I'm all for it.

>> No.17849703

Its a sacrifice we have to make.

>> No.17849704


so do her last

>> No.17849716


>> No.17849719

>do her last
>do her

I like the cut of your jib.

>> No.17849721



>> No.17849726




>> No.17849729

Through the fire and the flames we carry on. The witches may try to tear us apart, but they will have to catch us first!

>> No.17849731

Do you have to yell that every time?

>> No.17849732

She'd probably consider shooting us too quick and merciful.

>> No.17849733

well, I am a father

>> No.17849735


>> No.17849744

magic enhanced punch to the dick.

>> No.17849753


You do Luuchini next, since she annoys the fucking hell out of you, and an extremely excitable twelve-year old is pretty easy bait.

"Honor my image!?" Lynette says, puzzled. "That makes no sense. I think you just wrote this on the window with your own lipstick, Luuchini."

"No I didn't!" Luuchini's strained voice squeals. "Look, close the window, you'll see how it was written right over the crack where they swing out! I couldn't of done that!"

"We should at least try, Lynette," Erica says scolding. "Here, I'll do it."

The windows swing shut on oiled hinges.

A second later, the room below erupts in shouts and terror. You, Sean and Ian lay on your backs, laughing helplessly. The rubbery Martian bot cracked your ribs while giving you the dynamic hug, and even though Yoshika healed them in passing while working on you, they still ache. Nonetheless, you can't help but heave with stifled guffaws.

It is pretty damn funny.

Below, a new round of shouts and cries begin.

"I think they found the pants and the glasses," Ian sniggers. "How did you get in, anyways?"

Sean, face red from laughter, wiggles his fingers dramatically. "Skillllzzzz."

"Bribed the janitor?"

"Never," Sean snorts. "You learn all sorts of things about locks in Catholic school."

>> No.17849765

Even if we are magically castrated for this, it was funny as hell.

>> No.17849768


Gertrude last.

And stick around, we need to tack a lesson onto that ice queen.

>> No.17849769

Highfives! High-fives all round!

>> No.17849777

Speaking of ice queens, I also suggest not doing Minna McCrazybitch.

>> No.17849779

She... already knows we're alive. That would be pointless.

>> No.17849784

Or genius? Leave her the watch.

>> No.17849792


Do her last but just slam loudly into her window, give her a startle at least.

>> No.17849794

We she does already know we're alive. If we survive trolling everyone else, why not say hi? Knock on her window, going "'Sup?".

>> No.17849799

>Honor my image
>Pants and aviators

>> No.17849801


Aviators and Pants:

Gentlemen, no matter our fate, we have accomplished our mission. See you at Diego Garcia.

>> No.17849809

so worth it

>> No.17849832


>> No.17849834


"Now," Sean says. "Time to do... Trude."

"I don't think that's-"

"TOO LATE," Sean says, hissing in your face. "You've gone too far to back out now. What'cha gonna do? Let Trude think you were the one Witch he didn't care about enough to come back from Beyond to talk to?"


"So you walk into breakfast tomorrow and let her realize she wasn't even worth faking out?"

"But wouldn't that-"

"You're in too deep," Ian and Sean say in perfect unison. "The only way out is THROUGH."


"THROUGH!" they hiss again, eyes bright.

You sigh, defeated. "Fine. One more to stir the pot, then we're out of here."

They lower you over the side of the roof one more time, and you find yourself dangling outside Gertrude's bedroom. You didn't have a problem with the others, but as you look at Trude's sleeping form under the blankets, you feel pretty crummy, like you're invading her privacy. Nonetheless, you're here, so you may as well finish. The window is already open most of the way, so you can't tap the glass. Swinging yourself forward, you quietly and waveringly intone "Truuuuuude..."

As you do, a uniformed arm shoots out from behind the curtains to one side, seize you by the shirtfront, and bodily hauls you inside the room.

>> No.17849846

We'll be in a world of pain for this, it'll be worth it.

>> No.17849848

By the way, someone archived the thread earlier.

>> No.17849853


>> No.17849854

>inb4 planefag has us dangling helplessly outside Trude's window.
>inb4 he uses this idea

>> No.17849855

>602 posts

unless this IS an outright bad end you should make a new thread planefag.

>> No.17849857


>> No.17849859

Yep, we're dead.

>> No.17849862



>> No.17849870

Well, it's been a good run.

We shot up some aliums, got to insult some top brass and managed to show up some witches.

All in all, things didn't go too bad.

>> No.17849874


>marem dedbit

>> No.17849876



>> No.17849877


>> No.17849878

I hope we don't do anything and just take it like a man.

>> No.17849884



>> No.17849886


>> No.17849890


Too early, the night is still young.

>> No.17849891



>> No.17849892


>> No.17849895 [DELETED] 

We've had a nice run comrades.

>> No.17849903






Alternatively, we're about to be killed. Farewell, Gentlemen.

>> No.17849906



>> No.17849912

FUCK NO. WE GIVE NO FUCKS. JUST SMILE AND TELL HER 'Be thankful. Never give up hope. Please release my testicles.'

>> No.17849916

why do I hear the scout's death scream?

>> No.17849921


>> No.17849927

We should probably verify that it is actually Trude before we do anything.

This also works, though we're probably a bit warm for a corpse. That doesn't stop us from pretending badly, and informing her that, as a dead body, we are unable to respond to her queries.

>> No.17849928


>> No.17849929


>> No.17849935

Arm from behind the curtain? There's someone else in there.
inb4 minna

>> No.17849940


>> No.17849944


Incidentally, for someone not up on German uniforms, what is the cause for the distinct difference in uniform between Mina, Trude and Erica? Different units/services?

>> No.17849946


orthe sleeping trude is just pillows.

>> No.17849947

Godddamn. I get locked out of 4chan for the day and THIS happens? I'm surprised you can dress yourselves.

>> No.17849949


>> No.17849961



>> No.17849966

It all goes according to plan, tumbling down etc.

>> No.17849968

Fuck you, we dressed ourselves pretty fucking well in a white sheet and aviators.

>> No.17849969

How may MC corpses can we fit in a B52?

>> No.17849973

People wanted NGAF and absolute asshole.
Planefag delivered.

>> No.17849974


You're on your back, pinned, before you know what's what. The ropes on your back tug at you desperately as Sean and Ian try to rescue you, but there's a flash of silver in the air, and they vanish into the darkness, severed, without you.

From the shadows above you, Gertrude's face looms. Eyes, hard. Face, tortured with pain.

"You... are dead..." she whispers.

"MFFMFPFHFH!" you try to object, but her hand is clamped firmly over your mouth.

"SILENCE, SPIRIT!" she hisses. "Do the ones I care about never find peace? Not even in death!?" She sniffs, and turns her face away, as if to hide tears. In her free hand, she raises a long, slender dagger. "No, spirit. You will not suffer as so many of my friends have. I release you from the chains of your earthly memories!"

The dagger falls. They say you see your entire life flash before your eyes when you're about to die, but all you see is that fucking dagger flashing in the weak moonlight, a glittering length of quicksilver death plummeting towards your head.

After all the Martians, all the night landings in bad weather, and all the generals you pissed off, it's funny that this does you in. You always wanted to die straddled by a beautiful young woman, but this isn't exactly what you had in mind -

- the dagger THUDS! into the wooden floorboards next to your head.

You hurt your eyeballs as you cram them into the corner of your eyesockets, staring at the shiny dagger, counting your heartbeats in disbelief.

"Better remember to take a b-br-breaahahahahahahahaha-" Trude begins laughing helplessly, still keeping one hand over your mouth. The other she plants flat against the floor to support her as desperate giggles rob her of air, forcing her to slump with helpless mirth.

>> No.17849981

I was really, really hoping you'd ask that.

>> No.17849985

There won't be anything left to fit anywhere.

>> No.17849987

PlaneFag, I love you.

>> No.17849988

Oh, we're good.

>> No.17849990



>> No.17849991


And Planefag fixes what Anon broke.

In Planefag we trust.

>> No.17849995

...I believe this image encompasses my mood perfectly.

>> No.17849997


>> No.17850000

I suggest the next chance we have to talk we remind her that, no matter the current situation, she is on the floor straddling us.

if we've been counter trolled we may as well try to counter the counter.

>> No.17850002


this is the worst possible outcome

out trolled by some damned teenage girls

>> No.17850006

Laugh along, but only a little, and ask how long she knew and who told her.

>> No.17850007

Thumbs up. This woman is one of the keepers. Also, do not admit to wetting self. Bed was wet when we got here.

>> No.17850010


>> No.17850011

This will not stand! We are the ones playing the pranks here! I demand retribution for spoiling our maybe slightly inappropriate fun! Tackle the witch and tickle her!

>> No.17850015


>> No.17850017

Doesn't Trude sleep in the nude?

>> No.17850020

Check our pants. They are probably full of bricks

>> No.17850022


Oh fuck yes, we're still alive!

QUICKLY NOW! We must act like we knew exactly what was going on!

>> No.17850023


More like out trolled by a combined effort of the ground crew, our bros, AND a bunch of teenage girls.

>> No.17850024

Don't you think you should get to know me a little better before the knife play?

Also, for the record, I saw something like this coming and wanted to /avoid/ your room.

>> No.17850025


And this is why we love 'trude. She's the only one who could've countertrolled MC successfully.

I love you, Planefag. Stay awesome.

>> No.17850026

We've Bern counter trolled by a pro.it seems

>> No.17850028

That crazy little-

We must kiss her.

>> No.17850029

I would support this.

>> No.17850030

At least we live to troll another day

>> No.17850031


>> No.17850043

Ma'am, In defference to your counter-trolling abilities, i must offer you my Unconditional surrender.

And Might I add I am not wearing clthes under this sheet

>> No.17850047

Clever girl.

>> No.17850051

ALL HAIL PLANEFAG, SAVIOR OF /TG/... from its own stupidity

>> No.17850054


>> No.17850059

>implying there was ever anything wrong with this

>> No.17850060

So, were the other girls in on the joke or did someone bring Trude around to give her a good time at our expense?

>> No.17850061

I betcha Sean informed Trude when she stormed out all upset.

>> No.17850067


Trude, you awesome girl.

>> No.17850073

praise be planefag!
faith in planefag!
trust In planefag!

>> No.17850075

OP, we're at 675 posts here. Make a new fucking thread already.

>> No.17850081


We can only hope.

>> No.17850082

"In retrospect, the chance that I would actually be lucky enough to die straddled by a beautiful young woman was pretty low."


>> No.17850083

Witches confirmed for awesome teir:

>> No.17850084

Ian and Sean sure as hell knew Trude was in on it.

>> No.17850087


>> No.17850088


"Your... flippin... face..." she wheezes helplessly into your jumpsuit. Completely robbed of air, she's sprawled atop you, hand still clamped over your mouth. She pushes herself up a bit, and when she gets a look at your expression, she goes off on a gale of laughter again.

"Trude? Trude, are you okay?" Lynette's voice comes from the other side of the door.

"Ju- just a really fuh-unny book I'm reading," she says, then cracks up again, pounding her free hand against the floor. She finally rolls off you, still giggling helplessly.

".... you KNEW!?" you say in breathless tones of wonder, and that just sets her off again.

"You huge dummy," she chokes out, when she finally gets enough air. "Me and Erica are combat veterans! Ian's good and all, but you can't put something like that past us!" She giggles a little more. "But Lynette - or Eila... or Luuchiiaahahahahahaha-" she goes off again, giggling like mad.

"You... you..." you stutter, at a temporary loss for a suitably horrible thing to call her.

>How do you react to this situation?

>> No.17850089

Laugh. Seriously, laugh like a loon. We got played and, honestly? Trude could use the laugh.

>> No.17850091


oh god yes, THIS

>> No.17850098


You know how I said our mission was accomplished with the aviators and pants? I take that back.

NOW our mission has been accomplished. Soon, an army of Troll Witches will descend upon the Martians, and they will have no fucking idea what fucking hit them.

And it will be GLORIOUS.

>> No.17850105

Nobody out-trolls the troll.

Also, Trude sleeps in the nude and she's straddling us.

>> No.17850109


>> No.17850110


>> No.17850114

What about Yeagertits?

>> No.17850117


>> No.17850118

One-liner about being straddled by unclothed females...

>> No.17850121


"You glorious bitch"

laugh along

>> No.17850122


>> No.17850124

Give her a hug and get up. We must escape quickly.

>> No.17850127

"Kiss me."

>> No.17850128

make a new thread, also admit we got owned. I got to go to actual work tommorow though, so keep on trolling, thanks for the laughs and awesome thread, and have a good night planefag and fellow SW quest bros.

>> No.17850129

>suitably horrible
You wonderful bitch!

>> No.17850134

i like tickle actually

>> No.17850138

Trude sees through the plan but lets us troll the little girls? I am in love.

>> No.17850141

Moochas Smooches.

>> No.17850145

"I'd kiss you, but I'm not sure, if that would earn me a knifing."

>> No.17850146


You... You... DOUBLE NAZI!

>> No.17850149

Trude confirmed for awesome.

Laugh with her, and break out the schnapps. She deserves it.

>> No.17850154

Do this >>17850082
then laugh along with her. We got counter-trolled fair and square. Besides Trude can use the laugh.

>> No.17850155

Tell her what their reactions actually were, you'll both laugh even more.

>> No.17850157

These two by far.

>> No.17850160

"...you... are naked."


>> No.17850172


Oh yeah, make sure to mention the BEVERAGES.

>> No.17850176

This, then what I posted in >>17850082

>> No.17850179


>> No.17850181

Hah, YES.

>> No.17850183


>> No.17850192

I can't say anything better then "You know, coming back from the dead for this is pretty awesome." And hopefully Sean and Ian tug us out of there just when we didn't want them to.

>> No.17850193

Laugh with her
Have her break out the schnapps

>> No.17850195

Laugh, and troll. Just like we always do.

>> No.17850198

good night broseph
make a god damn new thread already

>> No.17850200

Haha! With Patton and Rommel here, that's perfect!

>> No.17850202

MC trolled witches
planefag trolled us
trude trolled MC


anyway, this: >>17850082

then admit defeat and ask if she still has the schnapps around.

>> No.17850211

>how do you react

By doing something in a new thread, since we're now over 700 posts into this one?

>> No.17850217


>> No.17850219

Tell her about the pants and the whole "honor my image" bit."

Sadly, since she was expecting us I doubt she's in the nude.

>> No.17850221

Detach line, booze with Trude

>> No.17850232

The arm that grabbed us was in uniform

>> No.17850238

>Laugh with her
>Break out Schnapps
>Recount effect you had on the others

>> No.17850239




>> No.17850241

What's even more hilarious is Ian and Sean probably think we ARE dead now.

>> No.17850243

We must do this!

Also, need a new thread. 723 replies. Fucking huge!

>> No.17850251



>> No.17850256


>> No.17850259

Do schnapps with Trude
Do Trude

>> No.17850264



Name (leave empty)
Comment (leave empty)
Password [?]Password used for file deletion.