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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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17650366 No.17650366 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

ITT freeform RP trolling.

>go onto a freeform RP forum
>make a generic-sounding fantasy RP with some light dice rules
>in the backstory use words such as "emperor", "empire", "cavalry", "royal guard" and "prince".
>everyone is convince it's going to be medieval fantasy RP
>everyone makes their sheets, mostly weeaboo/furry/mary sue trash
>begin the RP, all the players start in a trench
>in a trench
>they are actually in a WWI fantasy RP
>all the nameless NPCs around them have rifles, grenades and tanks along with magic
>they only have swords and magic
>the rest of the session is the party getting killed one by one via mauser-armed elves and fireball artillery

>> No.17650403

>ITT Freeform RP

Anymore is redundant.

>> No.17650437

Surely the players would have looted guns off some of the dead bodies if their current equipment was useless. Right?

>> No.17650473

>Implying you haven't seen my new stat block for the katana.

>> No.17650477


You'd think so, but apparently Mister Estranged-noble-with-a-horrific-past-and-a-wolf-tattoo thought his ancestral blade could still be used effectively against the enemy soldiers.

He was distraught to say the least when the Imperial chemical-wizards started using chlorine spells.

>> No.17650497

I wan to play a World War One fantasy game.

>> No.17650525


That would be badass. Wasn't there a comic based on just such an idea? Arrowsmith, or something?

>> No.17650534


>> No.17650535

You and me both.

>> No.17650549

You got it.

It's pretty good, though I would have liked to see some explanation as to why dragon hatchlings are given to poor farmboys so that they can fly.

>> No.17650573

>mauser-armed elves

>Elves are German

>Not French or English

>> No.17650582

If they are carrying swords when everyone else is riflemen wouldn't that make them officers?
Or at least de-facto leaders.

How long has this Fantasy WW1 been going on?
Long enough for the military structure to abandon aristocratic officer class shit in favour of unit initiative doctrines.


Unless mass produced sub-machine guns have been invented in which case you're just being a fagget.

>> No.17650584

Breakin stereotypes all up in here.

>> No.17650593

>Implying /tg/'s hatred of elves would allow them to be anything other than BADGUY NAZI EVIL KRAUT TRASH

>> No.17650604

The thing was, close combat only actually happens after you cross no man's land. So... good luck with that.

>> No.17650646

'cept elves sort of match up with Nazis. Haughty self righteous pricks who see them selves as the best around, the other races but dogs around them.

But yeah OP, in your attempt to troll you just made an awesome setting.

>> No.17650654
File: 26 KB, 300x300, high elf.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>implying we aren't the most superior

Filthy submer human filth. Once the elven master race prevails, all your kind shall be exterminated along with he half-breeds and sylvans.

>> No.17650660

Any setting can be ruined by players, it seems.

>> No.17650689

I think the GM would have chain-lightning machine guns or some shit fuck them before they could get anywhere close.

>> No.17650731
File: 13 KB, 222x195, gothmog.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

HA! Like you'll even get the chance, western dogs! Our mighty orcish hordes march upon you as I speak, and our numbers a-

...wait, what do you mean there's a civil war with the goblinoids? FUCK IT LET'S KILL THOSE LITTLE SHITS FIRST! FOR THE DARK LORD!

>> No.17650735

OP, post the description of the game you gave them. I want to see if they could have seen this coming.

>> No.17650758

Which was what everyone was trying to do, and despite what you may think, it happened quite often on varying scales of engagement.

And there was the little issue you have when patrols run into each other in zero visibility.

Or when your trench is 20 metres away from the enemy and quite a distance from your established lines and it is rather likely that they are going try and butcher the fuck out of you

Or when you were just part of a failed assault and you got pinned down in a trench soiling yourself as artillery rained down around you and your friends turn into sprays of muddy gibblets and red mist. Yeah, you sat there for days because you know you'll get shot if you try to make it all the way back to your lines, but you haven't had clean water for days and you think you may be dying of thirst. Good news is there is a shell hole nearby that sounds like it is occupied by the enemy, probably a forward observation post or sniper nest that would be pretty well supplied compared to you. Even if its not its still better than drinking corpse water, so you decide to jump over that fucking hole and gut the ever loving shit out of the poor bastard in it, then you fucking drink his water.

Hand-to-hand happened a fucking lot in WW1.

>> No.17650768
File: 19 KB, 300x601, whybonerr.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>orc civil war
>communist Mordor imminent

>> No.17650780

Whenever this sort of thing gets brought up, it usually turns into "match fantasy race X to nation Y and call it a day".
I'd kind of like to see this discussion avoid that pitfall.

>> No.17650781


seriously /tg/?

>> No.17650795

Really tg? Really?

>> No.17650816


>> No.17650833

What to do with the multicultural clusterfuck that is Austria-Hungary. Either a number of elven subraces that resent being amalgamated or a series of nonelven races ruled by a small elven elite.

Also, the WWI Germans were less genocidy than Nazis. Sure they'd commit massacres in a heartbeat to further their goals or project power, but cleansing the world wasn't their purpose. They just wanted to become the most powerful in the world, not outright conquer it.

>> No.17650852

No it's just people with a common sense in history realizing how stupid /tg/ is

>> No.17650860

>Sure they'd commit massacres in a heartbeat to further their goals or project power,
In all fairness, so would any of the other major powers

>> No.17650861

OP here. Yeah, the players were technically officers as they were in charge of an infantry platoon. Most of said platoon got mostly broken though when the fireballs started falling everywhere. And yeah the players did manage to get quite a few kills with their melee weapons and magic, but those didn't do much later on against the tanks or fire-shield casting spellrifles.

>> No.17650880

>not capable of detecting sarcasm
Really, anon. Really?

>> No.17650897

>implying tone can be easily determined from typed text

>> No.17650900

In one freeform RP I was in a viking walked into an inn, in a medieval fantasy setting mind you. Had a couple beers.

Then underwent nuclear fission, annihilating the entire city. That the player described it in great detail (I think he ripped it form a Tom Clancy book) made it all the better.

>> No.17650908
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>> No.17650910

Did you give them a chance to notice that it was a WWI setting, and just get a bunch of players with zero reading comprehension, or were you just being a faggot?

>> No.17650911

>implying the full caps and obvious incorrect statements didn't make it glaringly obvious.

It's okay I understand you have very little reading comprehension.

>> No.17650917
File: 54 KB, 352x344, 1325920585385.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Oh yeah, those tanks man.
Man, WW1 era tanks sure were decent.
Did you hear about the one that made it to 6m/h AND fired its cannon without breaking down?
Crew were fucking heros.

>> No.17650920

Yes, it usually can be. Stop being an Aspie and learn how to recognize sentence structure and word choice.

>> No.17650928


>Hurr durr I made an idiot of myself, better accuse him on not being able to detect sarcasm

And fuck you, I called you on it too

>> No.17650947

So there's two retards incapable of reading comprehension instead of just one? Awesome. Tell me, oh brilliant Anon. If I actually thought they were Nazis why would I put it in full caps and add 'evil badguy kraut trash' to the end of it also in caps?

You're just fucking stupid and I called you out on it.

>> No.17650965
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so much anal injury

>> No.17650967

But they were useful in trench warfare, breaking lines and such. Which begs the question, would tanks have been adopted as readily if the western front hadn't turned into the eternal quest for 100 feet of land?

>> No.17650968

Both of you are fucking idiots.
Now grow up.

>> No.17650976

>Baaawwww I got called out on being a retard so now I'm going to fall back to memes to cover my ass! T_T

>> No.17650979
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you seem a bit upset.

>> No.17650983
File: 228 KB, 900x574, Dakka.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

You lot are gonna die.

>> No.17651002

>dragon with vickers MGs on their backs

>> No.17651014
File: 55 KB, 854x480, smile.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


You are really frustrated

>> No.17651024

Probably not. Their reason for being was to provide a bulletproof battering ram to clear a path for the infantry. That's what they were made for an that's what they did. If the war wasn't any different than the wars that had come before it you never would have seen their invention. If they did come about it likely would have been more in the form of speedy armored cars with light artillery pieces instead as the war would have been much more fluid.

Obligatory music.

>> No.17651031

Still using memes, eh? Well I guess we know who won this one.

>> No.17651050
File: 104 KB, 300x370, War_goblin.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

FUCK OFF, YOU DARK CZARIST BOOTLICKER! We leninist goblins will defeat those who oppress the will of the proletariat! Comrade Squee Lenin will guide us to the glory of the marxist burrows.

>> No.17651055

Nobody did because you're both just faggot children. /thread

>> No.17651061
File: 304 KB, 715x434, 1311471754535[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Yes, yes.

Tell yourself you won, little neckbeard.

Pat yourself on the back.

I will still be here, feasting on your tears.

>> No.17651080
File: 391 KB, 509x546, 1326932776727.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Even I think that's retarded.

>> No.17651094

>you're now imagining dwarves building a giant subterranean dragon that functions like this thing.

>> No.17651095
File: 76 KB, 640x480, GARshinji.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


They thread aint gonna end just because you /thread'd in blue.

No no, its far form over.

>> No.17651098

And I'll be sitting here shaking my head at your stupidity. I can't really feast on it without getting sick.

sage for unrelated.

>> No.17651107

> Make generic setting.
> Make rules against implied or explicit sex. Even if blackscreened.
> ICly they find that according to the law, all orphan females are worthless regardless of age, and are to be killed unless claimed as a wife or husband. Also, all orphan males are expected to claim a wife by their [highest player age here, possibly 16]th/nd/st/rd birthday or be put to death for not continuing the race.
> Totally haven't been reading Dominic Deegan.

>> No.17651124
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>He still hasnt learned that I am only doing this because of the asspained reponses

Stop replying to the troll and it will be over~

>> No.17651129


> Claimed as a wife or husband
> wife or husband
> husband

FUCK! You can tell how my original post was before I got a better idea.

>> No.17651137

I would actually think if we're going to stick to fantasy cliches but put them in The Great War then Elves wouldn't be Germany. The Germans were highly aggressive and hellbent on expansion to be recognized as one of the great powers of Europe.

Elves would be more like Belgium, or Flanders.

>> No.17651141
File: 466 KB, 430x450, perlman.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Fuck World War 1
seriously fuck that war

>> No.17651144

I mean I guess they're ass pained. I mean not really but if it makes you feel vindicated sure they're ass pained butthurt anally ravished etc.

>> No.17651145

>"War has come to Europa (the setting), this one greater than all the others. Celebrating after their recent conquest of the dwarven nation of Slavaria, the Empire of Wilhelm's prince paraded not a week after through the capital city of Slavaria. However, an group of orcs assassins sworn to the Kingdom of Northdor, allies of Slavaria, killed the prince during his parade. Outraged by the assassination, the prince's father Emperor Maisbrot declared war upon the Northdor orcs. However this caused Northdor's ally to east of Wilhelm, the dragonblood Kingdom of Royaume, to declare war and sent thousands of cavalry to assist it's orcish allies. In response the Empire of Wilhelm has called upon it's comrades, the brutal Teuton elves.

>This massive war has been raging for many years now and many lives have been claimed. Fearsome warriors such as Royaume wizards, Slavarian berserkers and Wilhelm Royal Guards have clashed and left countless slain in their grueling fights. Recently the Empire of Albion has declared war upon Wilhelm and it's elvish allies. Albion is a multicultural land with many territories with many races under it's banner. For some reason, whether through choice or force, you have become a soldier of Albion's armies. You have recently been deployed to the front lines of the war, and currently wait for battle to begin."

Shitty I know, but I had to rush it for IRL reasons at the time.

>> No.17651184


>> No.17651200

Elves are Great Britain, Dwarves are Germany, the various gnome, halfling and fey-esque races are Austria-Hungary and the Slavic nations, Orcs and goblins are Russia.

>> No.17651204
File: 63 KB, 300x300, coffee_spit.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


I can't tell what's more hilarious - all the not-Europe nation names, the Emperor being named cornbread or the Kingdom of Kingdom.

>> No.17651221
File: 19 KB, 237x300, kaiser_wilhelm_ii.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

BUMP THIS THREAD SO OP CAN DESCRIBE THE SETTING MORE. This is possibly the best setting I've ever heard of, and the Elven Kaiser Thrandul Wilhelm II of Goldenwood or whatever approves heartily.

>> No.17651228

Ah, okay, so OP is a faggot. Guess I'm not surprised.

>> No.17651244
File: 32 KB, 500x375, look of disapproval ult.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>However, an group of orc assassins sworn to the Kingdom of Northdor, allies of Slavaria, killed the prince during his parade.
>orc assassins sworn to the Kingdom of Northdor
>Kingdom of Northdor

>> No.17651254

That sounds fantastic. Is it worth reading

>> No.17651273


How much XP for destroying?
Also, the new anthem for this thread:

>> No.17651286

>the Empire of WILHELM
>prince dun got assassinated
>entire staring plot is essentially that of WWI
Seems more like the players were the faggots.


>> No.17651290

I think that dwarves would fit flanders better, it fits well with all the trenchstuff. Belgium is just a small country, meaningless almost in military power, yet they said "fuck no" twice to Germany trying to pass, knowing full well they were doomed. They sound like dwarves to me.

>> No.17651303
File: 9 KB, 288x240, trenchquest.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Some guy did a 3 part "Trench Quest", its up on suptg

>> No.17651307

As shitty of a backstory that might be, I must admit the names are utterly hilarious.

>> No.17651311


>> No.17651321

Americans only learn about WWI in the extent that it was one of the direct causes of WWII. We don't really learn it in incredible detail, because we didn't come in and save the fucking day for everyone in WWI, we just sorta cleaned up after everyone else had worn themselves down to nothing. It's a shame, really, I think WWI is a lot more interesting. Hell, in my "college-level" European History class in high school, we spent about as much time just on the Treaty of Versailles as we did on the entire rest of the war.

>> No.17651325

To the south, the Notkonstantiopol Devlet-i gathers its multiracial Janissaries to march against Northdor's southern flank.

>> No.17651329

>implying Northdor isn't the greatest name for a country ever
In every game I run from now on, I'm gonna make a town called Southton.

>> No.17651330

Has this been archived yet?

>> No.17651346

/tg/ I propose that we start building upon and revising this WWI fantasy setting, first by naturally coming up with some better names/backstory.

Except Northdor. That is too good to not use.

>> No.17651354
File: 1.75 MB, 358x202, glorious.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.17651402

The <German Equivelent> was a fracticious people for most of their history, before a great war was fought between the four great tribes/states that comprised it's culture/race.

Despite interferences from the <Italian equivalent>, <some minor French equivs> and the ever looming threat of the massive empires to the East, they split into rival camps.

However, it was not long before one power <Prussia Equiv> arose triumphant over all bar one of the other states/tribes, bending them to their will and molding them in their image - Brutal, efficient, and terrifyingly intelligent.

But all is not silent within their borders, as a mix of breakneck industrialisation and eyeing up the colonies of her rivals, the unified <Germany> is a force to be feared.

Now. Germany itself. I think them being humans would make sense. The English could be mostly human as well, but with some elves, and being ruled by the Fae.

>> No.17651403


>> No.17651429

I feel there should be a race of monkeys with guns. Can you work that in?

>> No.17651458

Pancho Villia expy and his monkey banditos

>> No.17651465

>implying fantasy slavs will be anything other than screeching poo-flingers with firearms

>> No.17651471

Just something to get the mind juices flowing, here is a pic of King George V and Tsar Nicholas II. Guess which is which.


>> No.17651485

>The realms of Europa are still mono-racial despite the massive intermixing during the Remulan empire
>and Alexhanth the Great
>and Ch'a'le the Great
>and all the times of peace between the great wars

>> No.17651493

So germanic = Human
Elf/Fey = Celtic
Irish/Welsh/Scots = elf
English= half elves and humans

The trouble then becomes what to assign the latin peoples. Maybe the roman empire was Dwarves, (hence ancient grudge with elves for sacking rome). French would be half dwarven. Italians would be halflings (another way to mix dwarves and humans).

>> No.17651499


>implying real slavs are anything other than screeching poo-flingers with firearms

>> No.17651512
File: 397 KB, 944x1240, Tsar_Nicholas_II_&_King_George_V.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Quit eating pics captcha.

>> No.17651544
File: 32 KB, 375x489, pershing.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Being chased down by General Pershing commander of the Ursarican Expeditionary forces with their mechanized war walkers.

>> No.17651560


I can second this. All my "Advanced Placement" European history course really went over was

Franz Ferdinand death started WW1 and they are a bit of a one hit wonder band.

It fucked over Germany, which lead to Nazis, which lead to WW2, where America kicked ass and chewed bubblegum.

Bad shit happened, and there were tanks and machine guns.

>> No.17651600

>implying the Roman empire is not the quintessential human empire.
They pushed the Woodland Elven realms across the seas to the british isles to join with their fey brethren and to the scandinavias to join their sea elven brothers.

The humans settled the germanic region and later became known as the holy roman empire.

>> No.17651616

The people of Belgium are halflings, known for their chocolate, beer, fries and rural lifestyle. The invasion of the german empire in the peaceful halfling lands was the reason why britain interfered.

>> No.17651625

I can third this. Also, I think the European countries were stockpiling weapons and making gads of peace treaties, but it's been a while since my last history class.

>Franz Ferdinand
>One-hit wonder
Dude, Franz Ferdinand is my favorite band. Also, are you talking about No You Girls, Take Me Out, or What She Came For?

>> No.17651644

As I was taught, America's role in helping an entente victory had much more to do with american goods replenishing the western front's depleted resources with no similar replenishment happened for the central powers. American manpower was a very minor contributor. That and the Germans collapsing politically, rather than being driven back by all-conquering entente forces.

>> No.17651679

>He was distraught to say the least when the Imperial chemical-wizards started using chlorine spells

all of my money.png

>jewsdat specious

>> No.17651843

>Hitler tries to exterminate the Jews
>Golems everywhere

>> No.17651868

Interestingly enough, when the Germans took Prague, there were orders from the high command preventing them from entering the temple where the remains of the golem were stored. Just in case. Hitler was a pretty superstitious guy.

>> No.17651880
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>> No.17651950

>we didn't come in and save the fucking day for everyone in WWI
You didn't do that in WWII either. Ever heard of Operation Barbarossa?

>> No.17651954

He also personally raided the Museum of Prague to steal the Spear of Destiny before he would let them throw a victory parade.

Later in the war, Patton's army reclaimed the Spear. Eisenhower was creeped out by how interested Patton was in getting the Spear, so he had it taken to another location to keep Patton from getting it.

Nevermind that the Spear in question is clearly a fake, and just as clearly does not produce an ever-victorious army, as promised. Both of them were really interested in the damn thing.

It's weird superstitions of historical figures like that which can fuel the History Channel's aliens/witchcraft bullshit for years.

>> No.17651992

Patton probably would have just melted it down and made a gun out of it.

>> No.17652023

Or slapped a shell-shocked soldier with it in front of a cameraman while saying something about a holy war.

Military accomplishments aside, the man was cursed with bad press.

>> No.17652041

Because he was a dick.

>> No.17652059


He was much too honourable to do anything like that.

>> No.17652099

rolled 3, 2 = 5

Oh God Oh God Oh God World War 1 was terrifying please get me out of this thread

>> No.17652113

SLAP. Pull yourself together, soldier! We've got 3 minutes before we go over the top, and if you don't stop that sniveling and get your Enfield loaded, I swear before God himself, the Huns will be the least of your worries!

>> No.17652180

Are you saying that Patton wouldn't jump at the chance to make a 1911 infused with the blood of christ himself?

>> No.17652629


not my words, just the classmates,

I myself am more partial to bands like The Shins.

I really only like Take Me Out by FF, and it only plays in my League of Legends playlist.

>> No.17652702

I wouldn't call FF one-hit wonders though - Matinee was just as big as Take Me Out, for instance.

>> No.17654656

They're still pretty terrible, however. Sorry, indiefags.

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