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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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[ERROR] No.17609154 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

> An ancient evil stirs, but does not awaken
> You are not the Chosen One
> A rebellious, tomboy princess runs away from her domineering father and only meets you briefly before exiting your life forever
> You are in a tavern that has neither a mysterious cloaked figure in the corner nor any adventurers meeting for the first time
> The Blade of Eternal Endings is actually only a myth and is based on a much less epic sword forged by Ralph, the blacksmith, five hundred years ago. You're distantly related to him

>> No.17609169

Worst. Tavern. Ever.

>> No.17609179

>buy cloak
>sit in corner
>send people on bogus quests
>Now I am the mysterious stranger

>> No.17609197

>you're apprenticing for a wizard so that you may one day become one too and go on adventures
>you die of pneumonia

>> No.17609213


>> No.17609238

>Through blood sacrifices and trials you finally find the tomb of the sacred ancient sword
>It was just a normal fancy looking sword
>Its rusted now beyond repair.

>> No.17609250

>this tavern is spherical

>> No.17609256

>the BBEG noticed and eliminated his one key critical weakness long ago

>> No.17609281

>Fight your way to crazy lich
>turns out he isn't actually crazy
>the item you were told would destroy him is actually something he needs to finish the ritual
>you are also providing him with a sacrifice
>door closes behind you


>> No.17609288

> Meet the Old Master who is the last user of Ultimate Karate and needs an apprentice before he dies
> He chooses you
> He dies of old age before you begin your training

>> No.17609298

>sacrificing hundreds of virgins with the Holy Knife of the God of Evil
>forgetting oiling it
>Holy Knife of the God of Evil now rusty

>> No.17609308

>ITT: Why tropes can be good

>> No.17609345

I dunno. Some tropes are just about making villains stupid so that heroes can win and seem special without actually doing anything.

>> No.17609373

>woman warrior and suave mage destiened to defeat great evil together
>goes their seperate ways afterwards, both settling down with new families

>> No.17609374

In a modern setting, a long coat is better. I've seen some nice oilcloth ones before but they're rare, you have to live in an old western town where some of the old folks still buy stuff like that because it's what they wore when they were young.
Either that or you might find one in a shop in one of those "look, this is how the old west was" tourist trap towns. There's a place that sells them in Virginia City, Nevada.
And of course, you need a hat. A wide-brimmed hat, and don't take it off inside, even sitting in your dark corner.

>> No.17609435

> A half-crazy inventor just perfected the weapon that might turn the war against the Empire!
> It turns out to provide only a minor but noticable value in the battlefield and the rebels are glad to have it

>> No.17609680

The oppressive Empire cancels its longrunning superweapon research project, and several midranking officials are executed for gross incompetence and wasting valuable researches on what was obviously a credit sink. The member of the imperial court who backed it the strongest escapes serious censure but falls from favour and into obscurity as a backwater official.

>> No.17609764

>the ancient evil awoke many years ago
>first thing he did was destroy the ancient sword of the heromagic that can seal him away forever and kill the chosen one before he got to level up at all
>you are just some regular guy

>> No.17609838

>>dragon living in a cave has been attacking the town and stealing livestock
>>after long generations of evolution, the scales on its belly have grown to be just as hard as the ones on its back
>>the knight is crushed to death

>> No.17609889

The four legendary swordsmen finally engage the immortal barbarian omni-warlord and his crony advisor, trusted lieutenant, and bloodthirsty half-demon bastard son.
That battle goes well at first, as the four swordsmen slowly take down all other combatants but the omni-warlord himself, but the warlord is pissed at the death of his retinue and decides to fight For Real now.
The fight now turns in his favor, and the four swordsmen together are barely able to hold back his attacks.
Then a light gleams in the head swordsman's eye, and a kicking rad guitar solo starts out of no where. The epic cords weakening the warlords evil, and strengthen all purehearted that hear it.

The four swordsmen are then slaughtered, since three of them were deaf and the fourth wasn't really all that purehearted.

>> No.17609891

>Party Finally Finds Cultist Hideout.
>Cultists Commit Suicide to summon the Forgotten gods.
>Nothing Happens.

This is actually a plot quest i have in mind.

>> No.17609924

>The War hasn't been raging for 3 centuries. It was over in less than 3 years, when the neighboring empire steamrolled the smaller kingdoms. This created an era of new prosperity as the petty feuds and border wars were stamped out.
> Nobody even remembers what it was like before, but for the historians.

>> No.17609935

>A mans family is murdered in cold blood by his brother
>The man goes to the proper authorities which quickly gather enough evidence to bring the murder to justice

>> No.17609949

These are hard times for adventurers

>> No.17609961

The Warlord is later killed in battle by a level one guardsman with a non magical crossbow bolt, despite the huge difference in skill, expirence, and gear between the two

>> No.17610007

>King starts a police service to solve the problems of the nation.
>No longer have to rely on contracts with private adventurers who choose their own hours and wages
>Strict recruitment and guidelines for service
>They start a union later and organize so freedom is nullified in the service but you have full benefits and job security and worker's rights
>Murder hobos are now seen as a criminal element to be thrown behind bars and their looting of ruins and dungeons is stealing from state property

>> No.17610014

>The hencmen/goons kill the heroes Thanks to High skilled tactics ,better numbers and precise aim

>> No.17610024

*sigh* times are tough

>> No.17610045

>The sacrificial ritual succeeds in summoning the lord of darkness
>Turns out the ritual wasn't magical at all, he just stopped by to tell the cultists to stop sacrificing people to him, he's actually a really nice guy and doesn't need souls at all and would really prefer not having unexpected guests all the time.

>> No.17610086


>still save the day

>> No.17610091

>To hell with destiny.
>Go on adventure to keep the ancient evil from waking up while the Chosen One is still too busy having flirty relationship with tomboy princess.
>Screw ancient sword, get a brand new one instead. Old is not better.
>Gather collection of similarly un-fated companions. Fight our way to the the core of the ancient evil.
>Fight and battle with all our hearts for the freedom and free will of all.
>Die gloriously to destroy the ancient evil forever.
>Chosen One forced to retire and raise his brood of groin spawn with tomboy princess.

>> No.17610106

I would read this book.

>> No.17610121

>The Dragon fucking insta-kills you with his humongous claws and no, you can't harm it with your tiny-ass weapon or your pathetic mortal magic.

>> No.17610170


>> No.17610194

Raising a family with a tomboyish princess does not sound like bad life though.

>> No.17610256

>become above-average adventurer
>save a few towns from brigands and lawlessness, get really good at bringing fresh water and agriculture to starving locations
>generally improve the lives of townspeople and hamlet folk in the region
>die well loved amongst these people but virtually unknown abroad

>> No.17610274


honestly, sounds better then being world famous.

>> No.17610293

>marry into money with bangin' hot princess
>don't need to risk life to fight ancient evil
yeah, pretty much

>> No.17610394

I like this thread. A lot.

>> No.17610451

>Lead your exiled people through the wasteland in search of a new home.
>Settle in another nation, absorb into the prevailing culture, forget about promised land.

>> No.17610454

I know a system that handles it like that. DSA, German "alternative" to DnD.
Our GM had us fight an undead dragon (and dragons are a big deal there, the undead part meant that he was furthermore in quite high esteem of the Archdemoness of death...). So, we fight it with tons of help from a mountaincity of dwarves, with our fighter being stupendously awesome as always, and manage to destroy it.
Turns out it wanted to be destroyed, so {Archdemoness] can't have its soul.

On topic:
>The prince who rebells against his father's traditional views meets a swift end by stupidness without doing anything of importance.

>> No.17610459

>Ultimate evil died of old age centuries ago.
>Minions also died off.
>Happy little farming village is never attacked.
>You marry the hot neighbor girl and raise kickass pigs and a bunch of children until the day you die.
>Kids spread out and start new farms, becoming prosperous themselves.
>Only fight you're ever in was a misunderstanding at the tavern that was resolved in about six seconds.

>> No.17610464

>Defeat ancient evil at age of 17
>Live long and full life
>Consider it your least important experience in personal terms.

>> No.17610477

>preach for years
>help people where you can and generally teach peace and tolerance
>piss off the wrong people
>get dragged into a court and sentenced to death
>hung up on a crucifix and die
>nothing happens

>> No.17610479

One last detail:
>Current king makes sure all credit for defeating the ancient evil goes to the chosen one to legitimize his marriage and eventual rule in the eyes of the people

>> No.17610492

>Princess accepts the role she's been raised to since birth and never questions it
>Arranged marriage with neighbouring prince proves very satisfying

>> No.17610494

I do, too. Contribution teim! Now with extra /tg/ references!

>Be dark and brooding.
>No one believes I'm a bad guy.
>Be treated like hero.
>Kill the local mayor in front of a crowd, in rebellion.
>Mayor turns into a shifter.
>Mayor's pockets are filled with evil plans.
>Be loved more than ever.
>Become enraged.
>Kill a bunch of orphans.
>Turns out they were evil changelings who ate old ladies.
>Townsfolk ask me to kiss their babies.
>Become TIME's man of the year.

>> No.17610500

>DSA, German "alternative" to DnD

It's kinda funny how DSA (better known as Drakensang among non-Germans) is pretty much the standard RPG system over here, but when compared to DnD or Pathfinder, it's much more complex. Also, it's pretty low-fantasy. Not Riddle of Steel-low fantasy, but let's just say that every competent wizard knows how to use a sword and at least light armor.

>> No.17610511

>Mysterious figure confronts king with prophecy of doom.
>King heeds prophecy, full power of the kingdom's military brought down on evil before it can grow strong.
>No need for chosen one.

>> No.17610587

The vizer weeps for the decline of his great nation and the health of the once-able king he loves as a son loves his father.

Yet he can do nothing. The king is in seclusion, and grows ever more erratic. The court trappings molder, and lesser men make bids for personal power. He does all he can, with all of his intellect and acumen, but it's not enough.

>> No.17610592

>A lone band of adventurers confronts evil overlord
>Become outnumbered, surrounded and outclassed within a day

>> No.17610615

>find treasure map of fabled pirate captain
>chased by band of allegedly bloodthirsty pirate crew
>treasure already claimed
>pirates die of syphilis and malaria
>go home and be a family man
>die of cholera

>> No.17610642

>framed for a crime you did not commit
>spend fourteen years at the Ch√Ęteau d'If
>receive education and martial skills from a fellow prisoner
>finally escape, the only thing on your mind is revenge
>it turns out everyone who wronged you has died of syphilis

>> No.17610667

>Travel the Oregon Trail
>Your entire family dies of dysentery

>> No.17610668

>let's just say that every competent wizard knows how to use a sword and at least light armor.
So that's what I was doing wrong...
(It is low fantasy, and pretty complex, too. But I had never enough experience points for fancy combat skills, let alone permission to use a sword.)

>Be part of the computer computing the ultimate question.
>Get hit by a laser bolt and die.

>> No.17610673

>You confront a mysterious Oriental stranger who might have killed your parents
>You shatter his curved sword with one blow and strike him down
>Unfortunately, he jabs the broken end of his sword through a gap in your armour and mortally wounds you
>Turns out he was actually the police officer who was chasing after the murderer
>Both of you die in shame

>> No.17610680


"treasure maps and syphilis"-mind

>> No.17610710

more like "old adventure novels"-mind

>> No.17610725


"old adventure novels involving treasure maps and syphilis"-mind

>> No.17610729

That actually happens every time I play Oregon Trail though.

>> No.17610768


>> No.17610812

>be just a town guard
>by sheer luck avoid being killed by BBEG
>thinking that you are the chosen one go on a quest to gather alies and face the BBEG
>BBEG casts weird
>you and some of your most trusted men die

>> No.17610852

>thinking that you are the chosen one go on a quest to gather alies and face the BBEG
>you and some of your most trusted men die
Been playing the beta to the new game Elemental: Fallen Enchantress.
That's pretty much how all the quests go.

>> No.17610924

>Be among the survivors of the "some of" the guard/leaders most trusted men.
>Hair turns silver from fright.
>Swear allegiance to BBEG to avoid being killed.
>Become member of his Dark Army.
>Rise through the ranks until placed in command of elite personal guard.
>The real Chosen One and companions turn up to face BBEG.
>BBEG throws you and your men to their doom to slow the Chosen One.
>Somehow survive again and stumble back to BBEG, who gives you the Blade of Desperate Doom, warped and truly empowered Blade of Eternal Endings, as a last bid gambit to weaken the Chosen One.
>Immediately drive blade through the BBEG instead.
>Whisper in his ear.
>"For my captain."

>> No.17610979

could be a background NPC plot

>> No.17611008

>be a retired wizard(also old)
>never had kids
>sad about it
>create a leshy
>raise it like a kid
>it decides that is time for it to have his own adventures
>leaves the house
>guard come by a few hours later
>the leshy got eaten by some goats in the center of town

>> No.17611011


So would that mean that you WERE the actual Chosen One after all?

Or does the BBEG just shrug it off and throw you against a wall.

>> No.17611055

The man said "why tropes can be good", not "why all tropes ever are always good".

>> No.17611093

You're spitting in the face of destiny ala >>17610091 and kill the BBEG.

Or you're unknowingly a key to the Chosen One's destiny and your last minute betrayal, though costing you your life when the BBEG seems to shrug it off and kills you, is what weakens him enough for the Chosen One to stand a chance in their confrontation.

>> No.17611110

>ultimate evil wizard never gets actual results in his research for ultimate ancient power, dies of old age, frustrated and bitter

>> No.17611120

>Or you're unknowingly a key to the Chosen One's destiny and your last minute betrayal, though costing you your life when the BBEG seems to shrug it off and kills you, is what weakens him enough for the Chosen One to stand a chance in their confrontation.

I like that idea better. Being the one ray of hope showing that the BBEG's evil is not absolute, and that goodness can still break it, even in the darkest depths of his realm.

>> No.17611124

>be a high commander serving under BBEG
>manage backstabbing stupid-evil subordinates
>overseer dungeon projects and village raids
>prevent underlings from doing stupid shit
>lead a R&D project for deciphering the necronomicon within 1 month
>keep track of all those ragtag groups of adventurers out there trying to spoil your shit
we'll call it middle manager: the game

>> No.17611175

>born brilliant learn to read at age 2
>young star and hope of a starving village, everyone fucking loves me
>go off to mage school to study the arcane arts and bring back a solution to food problem
>parents crying, they love me so much
>sequestered in a dark room for almost ten years
>lose motivation, studies flag, end up spilling tankard of beer on a priceless book
>end up washing out of mage school having learned only a few substantial illusions and minor imp summons and nothing particularly helpful
>go back to village
>mom dead of scurvy six years ago
>father lost arm to gangrene and never smiles anymore
>village is basically a destitute ghost town
>everyone flocks around me thinking i am their lord and savior
>they start calling me messiah
>I'm a mage school dropout
>abscond in the middle of the night and never look back
>get a job as a blacksmith apprentice in a town fifty leagues to the north
>can never sleep at night
>when I do its bleak nightmares of all their haggard faces
>start crying at random times during the day
>catch blacksmith's daughter smirking condescendingly at me because she thinks I'm a pussy
>I pretty much am a pussy


>> No.17611187

>your brother is the Chosen One
>everyone fucking loves him and he's rolling in bitches and success
>you die a stupid pointless death along with the rest of your family and the tragedy motivates him to further greatness and glory

>> No.17611229

I think I have something in my eye...

>> No.17611237

>on a mission to throw some ring into a volcano
>spend years trekking around with a stupid ring
>finally get to the end of your journey
>can't throw the ring away
>some jerk takes the ring, fucks around, and then knocks the ring into the volcano on accident
>feel kind of weird every time people call you a hero for the rest of your life

>> No.17611282

>destroy the BBEG
>random party member kill you and and the others
>takes the object of infinite power
>he is now the BBEG
>the story only repeats itself

>> No.17611316

>Summon up minor imp.
>Beg to learn how to summon his master, wanting power as a mask to hide my inner weakness.
>Learn the dark rituals to call forth the Dark Lord.
>Sacrifice my blacksmith master to summon the Dark One.
>Being a poor mage do it imperfectly.
>Become earthly vessel for a fraction of the Dark One instead. Great power, but same personal weakness.
>Lash out at the world in bitterness at my own weakness. Burn down the town, kill nearly everyone.
>Horrified blacksmith's daughter flees. Swears to forge a blade that will destroy me.
>Still weak willed and scared inside, still throwing misplaced anger upon the world for my own failings, build a dark empire just to protect myself and hunt her down.
>Make my old home village the capital of my empire.
>I am the BBEG.

>> No.17611322


>> No.17611341

You people drive me to drink.

>> No.17611390

More, please. More of this feeling.

>> No.17611462

Being an adventurer is suffering.

>> No.17611487

>evil alchemist has been exhuming corpses from nearby graveyard
>local priest suspects necromancy
>sends out requests for heroes
>mismatched group of travelers break into his tower
>find glass jars and vials filled with organs
>destroy it all
>find evil alchemist
>tries to trick heroes into joining him
>heroes kill him
>take his evil tome of evil spells
>contains drawings of human anatomy
>evil alchemist is the licensed royal doctor
>both the heroes and the priest are thrown into jail

>> No.17611518


>> No.17611613

>Awaken to a lush and vibrant world, overgrown with plants.
>Encounter magical creatures
>Start recognizing old landmarks
>Remember that you failed to stop the apocalypse.
>First sentient you meet runs away screaming, only to return with an armed contingent, seeking your demise.
>Kill them all in self defense
>Seclude yourself away, to protect yourself and learn more about what has happened to everyone you knew, loved, and fought with.
>Adventurers start showing up to kill you.
>Become a horror story.

>> No.17611641

>normal kid derping around in the fields of village
>nobody special, my name is mud etc.
>sharpening my tools getting ready for the summer harvest
>band of goblins coming up the road with pitchforks shortblades clubs and torches
>I ring village alarm bell at center of town
>had to run for almost a mile to get there
>by then its too late
>everyone getting dismembered and bled dry and raped
>if they're lucky
>hiding at the top of bell tower with hands over my ears to stifle the screams, can't let them get me
>fall asleep hiding behind a stray barrel up there for reaching the rope
>wake up next day to smell of ashes and burnt skin
>everyone is dead except for me
>find dad's headless corpse and mom's...well
>clutch them to chest, can't stop crying
>look up the road where goblin band went
>this isn't over, i swear to all my gods this isn't over

>> No.17611687

It's like I'm really playing Mount and Blade.

>> No.17611699

>Yes, it's not over.
>Goblins spot a still living kid
>One goblin who is dissatisfied of having gained not enough loot returns and kicks the kid to death
>Now it's over

>> No.17611711

>studying to be minor sorcerer, mostly just looking for my shot at enough power to really take care of business
>hear rumors of dark ability to bring back the dead in some forgotten tomb
>chase after these whispers like there were wolves on my heels
>bodies of people who crossed my path starts piling higher
>i refuse to be stopped
>becoming notorious in the region
>go down into dark crypts of ancient eldritch gods
>kill horrors down below that cannot even bear description for their terrifying countenances
>bleeding, nearly broken, clutch forbidden book of necromancy to my chest
>finally, at last
>go back to my village
>try to raise mom and pop
>they are mindless zombies shambling around and answer only to my beck and call, my mom and father are never coming back
>tears running down my face again
>now it will never be over

>> No.17611730

>this thread

>> No.17611761

>raise zombie army and start rounding up tribes of goblins across the world
>begin to enslave them, they become sychophantic underlings of my growing empire
>torture them and fling them away and have them executed flippantly and for minor transgressions as they wait at my feet
>they will never have suffered enough for me
>running growing dark kingdom aimlessly, mostly just as a vehicle for my continued torture/subjugation of goblin and orc races
>random prophecies start popping up across the land about a hero

>> No.17611784

>decide to leave pigfarm to become adventurer
>lose lots of friends to horrible dungeon abominations for little reward
>decide mercenary work is a lot safer and pays better
>do quite well for yourself
>mysterious dying figure stumbles up to you and begs to you protect some fancy looking artifact or the world will be in danger
>mage in black robes appears and demands artifact
>offer it to him for a sizeable sum
>he seems pleased, gives me the money
>he promises to look me up if he ever needs mercenary work done in the future
>go do more mercenary shit

seriously, fuck quests.

>> No.17611850

>cruise by this thread
>it's okay in the beginning pretty cool
>start getting down to the bottom

>> No.17611854


>> No.17611860

According to the TES games, that would be a completed quest.

>> No.17611870

The Sword of Ralph could still be a cool sword, and if you are related there might be some notes or other evidence to the location and or how to repair it after centuries of disuse.

And considering a sword is the medieval economic equivalent of an automobile, that would be a pretty cool find; to be lifted out of miserable unheroic lives of feudal toil on the land by discovering our ancestor's masterpiece of a sword. A fine blade could be the start of a fruitful life of adventure. Our compatriots might not end up being tomboy princesses, infamous wizards, and cursed knights but you can't expect instant connections like that to form, when your life will be full of experiences that allow you to bond with people around you.

And who goes to a tavern on a cold-call looking for employment? Certainly you should go job hunting, get some on job experience in the martial field, and build up your profile to the point that then you can have pre-arranged meetings with fixers in taverns as they pass you the job arrangements and down payment.

Who needs to be a chosen one when you've got your family's ancestral sword, a buddy you've trusted your life to on many a dangerous job, and a tavern waitress who wants to get married to you?

>> No.17611883

>my name is mud
>evil necromancer in service to Cthulhu
i am using this in my campaign

>> No.17611887

Wizards Study
Sorcerers PRACTICE

>> No.17611911

Sorry guys. I fucked up. Was just trying to belt out a story really quickly.

>> No.17611923

Have fun, I might be using it myself, who knows. Glad you enjoy it.

>> No.17611935

This was bout subversions of fantasy tropes and then some faggot came in and played it straight?

>> No.17611957

That was me, sorry for not entertaining you.

>> No.17612137

>janitor of BBEG castle
>wax the floor near a deadly fall trap between his chambers and the throne room
>sneaky chosen one manages to enter the castle climbing the tower to the BBEG chambers
>surprised the BBEG flees in route to my trap
>both BBEG and chosen one falls onto the trap
>have no idea how should feel

>> No.17612145


>> No.17612159


>> No.17612182

>Fuck, here goes the payment for this month.

>> No.17612253

in a modern setting a business suit and a plain appearance is the best

>> No.17612266

>Take credit for BBEG's death and claim title as the real Chosen One.
>Get cheering throngs.
>Get hot tomboy princess who should be way beyond my league.
>Honor the poor sap in the trap with a statue and a holiday.
>Usher in a new era of cleanliness and civil maintenance for the land.
>My flag is a knight on a unicorn armed with a mop.

>> No.17612320

requesting a writefag?
this one has potential

>> No.17612353

So, basically Singapore?

>> No.17612389

Fuck Mr. Johnson right in his smug mouth.

>> No.17612734

>The sun is shining across the green prairies.
>Reach The Great Chasm.
>See narrow old bridge across the chasm to the Uncharted Lands.
>"Good morning sir. Excuse me, may I pass?"
>Hooded, hunched man fidgets with his crooked birchwood staff.
>"None pass this point."
>"Sir I must travel further, may I pass."
>"None. None may pass."
>Your body feels heavy under the dense magic radiating from the man.
>You never reach the Uncharted Lands.
>Authorities catch up with you and return you to the same farm, in the same village.
>As you drag the plow, you stare to the horizon for the rest of your days.

>> No.17612839

Awesome thread is awesome.

Should be archived.

>> No.17612962

>The sea does not lead anywhere, only to the skies.
>No one knows why the moon keeps getting bigger in the sky.
>Demon rips through void into your living room. You run for your life as the screams soften and the house burns to the ground.
>The horizon is a mirror.
>The nearby ancient crypt was empty of gold and trinkets. You return home.

>> No.17612970

>become casshern

casshern would make a really good rpg now that I think about it.

>> No.17613030

>Something is glimmering at the bottom of the lake. The art of swimming is lost.

>> No.17613058

>Eventually she returns at the head of an army
>The sword she forged and wields is a legend in its own right
>On it rest the hopes of thousands, and it has been anointed in the tears of an angel
>She bursts into my sanctum, shedding the corpse of my last bodyguard from her blade
>She is alone, trusting her troops to complete the sack, but not to witness this
>Smile bitterly at her
>"I am proud of you, my love. You have become all that I ever dreamed of being."
>"Now come, end this please."
>Spread my arms and close my eyes
>She screams her life's pain as she runs me through
>Collapses above my dying body, her resolve spent
>Through choking sobs, tells me that she could never come to terms with her feelings for me, so she hid them behind her teasing
>She curses me and begs my forgiveness in the same breath
>Wipe a tear from her cheek just before I die

>> No.17613081

>Crazed Greggory is not a mind-labyrinth of too much knowledge, the snake's bite just addled his brain.

>> No.17613095


>> No.17613149

I feel like I've read this story before somewhere (or at least a reasonable facsimile).

>> No.17613170

>You are a natural paladin through a drive of peace and contentment for all.
>You will never engage in pleasures and simplicities of regular folk.
>The awe between you and citizen is mutual.

>> No.17613214

Life without a big menacing evil can be fun too!

>> No.17613246

>bbeg is your true love
>before she left your side to perform atrocities in the name of power, the two of you shared a bed, were passionate lovers, and had married
>your armies clash
>in a desperate bid to stop her from finishing her final spell, you tackle her off of a cliff
>in your final moments after the two of you hit the ground, she weakly pushes herself to your ear to whisper one final message to you
>"I hate you and have always hated you."

>> No.17613265


>> No.17613305

Please tell me she then walks away from the nation that is begging her to let them crown her queen so she can wrest your soul from the Dark Lord and escort you to Elysium?

>> No.17613335


>> No.17613341


No, you die, and she retires to a quiet life in a town, working a forge. She dies without ever taking a husband.

>> No.17613361

>being a treant
>follow adventurers
>take advantage of your camouflage and do pranks on them
>at the end of the forest say to them that is all your doing
>they call me a troll
>kill them
>use their bodies for pranks on the next group

>> No.17613428

>Hear of a great and powerful female knight
>Expect buxom lady in chain-mail bikini
>see this under helmet

>> No.17613443

Hanako, is that you?

>> No.17613447


>> No.17613465

Give-me-the-chocolate mind.

>> No.17613536


Times are though

>> No.17613539

I stole the shit out of this pic. This will officially be the Palatine of the Order of the Ebony Chalice in my DH game.

>> No.17613566

You spelled it wrong and >>17610024 already made that joke

>> No.17613567

>dream of becoming an adventurer
>break leg and gain permanent limp saving village foreman's daughter from a hippo.
>Fuck you. hippos are dangerous.
>impressed with your courage, she's impressed, you develop romantically. you get some!
>fuck you, being in love doesn't mean you get to be married. Foreman tries to marry her off to some rich guy.
>finds out she's used goods. flips his shit.
>her dad flips his shit.
>you can get married now! but you have to live as far away from here as possible.
>move upriver. apprentice to a cooper.
>make barrels. live a slightly better life than average peasants.
>have a son.
>conscripted. dies of dysentery during a siege.
>don't talk about him anymore.
>wake up one morning. Wife doesn't.
>"I was going to slay a dragon, wasn't I?"

>> No.17613579

I see what you did thar.

>> No.17613609

>Leave village as a young boy
>Always alone, cold and scared
>End up having killing people to survive
>Later end up leading a gang taking just what you need to stay alive when you do steal
>Chosen One kills you with impunity
>You die wondering if you could ever have raised a family of your own

>> No.17613617


...and that's how Old Tom Cooper became one of our party's hirelings when he found out we were headed for the lair of the red dragon.

>> No.17613669

>Training to be powerful mage
>spent most of my time lounging, eating, and slacking off
>Develop magic to make life easier, conjuring food
>Graduate and get kicked out of school knowing only how to make food
>Wander sinister woods
>Come across a near starved man
>Spaghetti falls out of your pocket
>Man is now strong enough to make it through the woods
>Turns out he is a King that was out hanging around in the woods to work out
>Made King's personal chief with your food magic
>Live a grand life

>> No.17613677

I pity the Jew.

>> No.17613705

>finds out she's used goods. flips his shit.
>her dad flips his shit.

>> No.17613739

>>17613058 here (but not the other two parts)
I am normally all about characters earning their happy ending, but I couldn't see any way for her to forgive him. Not all stories end well, try as we might.

>> No.17613751

nah, we're cool with it. the journey is more important than the destination, you know? It's more important to remember the lessons of exile.
We were strangers, we were hated, we were enslaved and oppressed.
So, Show kindness to strangers, show compassion to our enemies, and help the downtrodden and afflicted.

Besides, we've got bagels now. You can have one if you like.

>> No.17613762

>aliens invade with big guns
>sneak aboard their ships like a pro
>steal documents
>noone understands their language
>politicians by alien technology
>invades old allies

>> No.17613793

Hell yes I would like a bagel, you guys are awesome.

>> No.17613803

Still. Not knowing that life and reading/watching/knowing about it makes you feel pity.

>> No.17613833

>aliens arrive
>they do use fucking windows 98
>humanity's combined celebrities ineffective

>> No.17613863

They did use our internet to coordinate their attack (for some unknown reason) so it would make sense their systems are compatible with our software. And since they don't have any experience dealing with bugs in our software, they had no defenses against such a virus.

>> No.17613864

>Survive a coup, promising the agonizing monarch that you shall take care of his daughter, no more than a babe.
>Take an oath at her cradle that you will see her back on her rightful throne, bringing down the usurper.
>Next few years are spent finding supporters and gathering resources.
>Sadly, you must deal with thieves and smugglers to prepare.
>One day, some oblivious foreigners, hired from a distant land in the south by the usurper, smash their way into your lair, laying waste to all life, including yours.
>As you bleed out on the cold ground, listening about how the would-be heroes will split the "thieves guild's" things, your last thoughts go to the toddler waiting for you to come home with the evening meal.
>You die, shamed and aware of the fact that she has no one else left.

>> No.17613887

>I'm a carpenter by trade, but I took an interest in brewing mead after a fun trip to the North Lands.
>Walk into tavern near home.
>Buy drink.
>Meet nice girl. She's a farmer's daughter, good at spinning. Beautiful auburn hair, freckles, green eyes, and the cutest, perkiest breasts a man ever did lay eyes on.
>She wants to be a princess some day.
>I tell her if she doesn't want to wait for some day she can be my princess for the night.
>She blushes and giggles.
>Eventually marry her.
>Living happily together with five children.
>Open my own bar.
>I'm the tavern keeper.

>> No.17613891

wait i got this
>aliens invade with big guns
>steal one of their ships
>disguise as aliens and go to their mothership
>fuck their communications with a computer virus(something like a forkbomb)
>fire a nuclear missile on them

>> No.17614345 [DELETED] 


mfw my groups last mission was fucking up a thieves guild

>> No.17614688

>alien spacecraft settles above third world city
>Does nothing
>Eventually multinational coalition cuts a way in
>Discovers alien refugees, malnourished and ill
>Brings them to surface refugee camp
>Humans and aliens are unable to reconcile cultural difference
>Refugee camp becomes stinking ghetto
>Aliens are marginalized, abused minority subject to brutal population control
>Mankind learns nothing

>> No.17614921

I fucking love this thread.

>> No.17614948

That movie sucked.

>> No.17614976

The concept was enough to make a decent greentext post, though.

>> No.17614977


interesting setting but the ending killed it, was too mary sue.

>> No.17614993


thanks Game of Thrones

>> No.17615106

>family and home village killed by orcs
>no vengeance, just PTSD

>> No.17615153

I liked it, that makes you a faggot for not liking it.

>> No.17615195

The (retcon?) justification for the leet hackin skillz was that computer technology was salvaged from the wreck in Area 51, so our computers were compatible with each other simply because ours came from theirs. And they apparently didn't have any AV software, either.

>> No.17615216

>Horrible Plague is sweeping through the world and killing everything that catches it
>Only hope is to go collect a special plant in a special forest in a special land
>Heroes arrive in time to find that every single specimen of the plant and all the surrounding plant-life has been used to burn the corpses of the infected to prevent contamination
>Heroes die of the plague

>> No.17615302

One of those green text stories gave me an idea for a campaign

>You are the sibling of the Chosen One
>The Chosen One's journey can only begin with a traumatic event
>Namely, your death
>Fate is trying to kill you
>At all times
>Trip while walking down a road? Fall on a rock and stab yourself, bleeding to death
>Walking into a city? Guards mistake you for a serial killer and slay you on sight
>Eventually learn that some evil force is actively trying to slay you, in order to force the Hero's Journey before it is supposed to happen properly

I don't know where to go from here but I like it so far

>> No.17615360

>Heroes all raise from the dead as assorted ghosts, sentient zombies, wights, and lesser liches.
>Everyone else killed by the plague does too.
>The living are marginal.
>The dead rule the world.
>The adventures continue.

>> No.17615390

Who else lost it at "Fuck you, hippos are dangerous"?

>> No.17615399

Only a little. Hippos actually kill more people in Africa every year than all of the other wildlife combined. Shit's cash, yo.

>> No.17615405

well, they are
the egyptians thought they were so fat because they were full of evil
kinda like evil buddhas

they're worse than crocs

>> No.17615407

I know, I know. But the delivery was perfect.

>> No.17615412


>> No.17616063

>you find that you cannot bring yourself to dispose of this strange sword
>it calls to you with a demonic voice, demanding you quench its thirst for blood
>the sword's not really all that thirsty though
>you tend to run into a couple of hostile bandits a month traveling anyway
>what a convenient night to have a curse

>> No.17616410

> A mighty red dragon demands virgin sacrifices
> A knight in shining armor comes to your town and asks you for directions to the dragon's lair
> Five days later, he returns with a thousand red dragon scales and uncountable riches, singlehandedly taking up all of the town's whores for himself for a month
> He eventually leaves, and you live an otherwise completely unremarkable life

>> No.17616918

>Climb the highest mountain in the land to meet the secret master. Beg to become his apprentice.
>He's a terrible teacher and you learn basically nothing.
>A masked fighter appears and kills him.
>Decide that this high-level mystic stuff isn't for you, return to training at more conventional schools.
>Become strong if unspectacular martial artist
>Whatever happened to that mask guy?

>> No.17616970

>Be the hero spoken of in ancient legends
>Forge my own mighty, magical demon-slaying sword
>Travel the world fighting horrors from the abyss
>Confront the lord of evil himself
>After a long battle, I kill him
>Go home to celebrate
>Settle down
>The horrors won't leave my dream
>Their screams are haunting my memory
>It gets worse as I get older
>Age terribly
>60 years old, but I look about 85
>Get called a coward by boys who have never seen a real battle

>> No.17617025

>be mage apprentice
>world is filled with mages alchemist and others alike
>magic doesn't work for real

>> No.17617088

I fucking lost it here.

I just don't even fucking know with this one.

>> No.17617157

I don't get it.

>Land invaded by orc hordes
>They slaughter all who resist and make all others bend to their rule
>Bickering kingdoms units to march against them
>Get asses kicked by superior tactics and numbers
>Live under orcish rule until orc leader dies and most forces retreat or scatter during power vacuum
>Can hardly tell the difference

>> No.17617174

I make it through the entire thread, and your last line did me in.

>> No.17617395

>Be an artificial construct, a mockery of man.
>Be basically immortal and very powerful.
>Why would you want to be a real human being?
>Explore the world and go where most mortals would not survive.
>Have adventures and stuff.

>> No.17617419

>Above average capabilities lead you to believe you are a hero
>You go out to kill a bandit that has been terrorizing the area
>Nobody wants to join you
>After 10 a 10 hour journey and a 3 on 1 fight that last over an hour; you sustain no injuries and swell with pride
>It's getting too dark to travel so you sleep under the stars
>Bogeymen attack you in the night and chase you till dawn, you've only got a bruise on your cheek
>You make it back home, brag, and sleep till the next morn' to seek more adventures
>While heading toward a bigger town a boar attacks you
>You cripple all of it's limbs, puncture both of it's lungs and disembowel it
>It gores you crushing the skull and tearing the brain
>You are deceased

>> No.17617455


welcome to Skyrim

>> No.17617546

Dat dorf fortress adventures

Boogeymen gave it away.

>> No.17617565

>Burst into throne of Demon King, shouting a challenge of combat
>Demon King says he's not good at fighting: rulers politic, not fight
>Demons who invaded your world were criminals on the run from the King
>Demon world has a moral code not to different from your world's
>Demon King's rule is a benevolent meritocratic monarchy
>Demon King tells you he's interested in setting up trade agreements (you represent your world, right?)
>Demon King meets with lords of your world, find agreeable terms quickly
>Trade between demon world and yours thrives, with immigration happening on both sides
>Half-demons are celebrated as living proof of the success of inter-dimensional cooperation
>Known for forging the alliance, but lacking skills outside combat, you wander out of history
>"The foolish warrior who challenged the Demon King was pacified by a heroic diplomat"

>> No.17617676

>You've heard rumors about the ruins of ancient civilization where great treasures were hidden protected by complex traps so only the smart ones may pass.
>You've found the ruins after a long quest.
>Traps are simple puzzles that any kid can solve.
>Inside you found the treasures: a wheel, a few simple pictures on the walls and a stone axe.
>Once upon a time they were indeed the great treasures.

>> No.17617780


Boo, should've started a communist revolution against capitalist First World demons instead.

>> No.17617926


>> No.17617940

>magically summoned asteroid coming to destroy planet
>band of heroes go around the world, collecting tools and allies to prevent its coming
>heroes fly off, to confront the dread evil behind the summoned asteroid of death
>three days later, asteroid hits the planet, and your one true love spent her last night of bittersweet romance with the jerk next door.

>> No.17618023


There you go.

>> No.17619114

>>Ancient Evil awakens to destroy world
>>Ancient Evil is written as completely invulnerable to all mortal weapons
>>"mortal weapons" at that time meant bronze swords and rocks in slings
>>Ancient Evil is soundly destroyed due to technological advancement

>> No.17619389


This one got me.

>> No.17619805

Y'know, this actually is what the guy in...Dragon Warrior 3? or is it 4? does.

Or tries to do. Both sides actually thought "Hey, the side of good is fucked if hero gets destroyed immediately," so there's a counterplan.

>> No.17619812

>bazooka him to death
thank you buffy

>> No.17620723

This thread reminds me so much of the all-commoner campaigns I've played in. I honestly have more good memories of commoner games than high-powered D&D adventures. I don't want to slay dragons, I just want to be a simple trader...

>> No.17621887

> The chosen hero wields a sword
> Quickly gets killed by an ogre
> The City Guard, using polearms, defeat the ogre
> The good-looking but ultimately useless captain of the guard claims all of the credit
> As a low-ranking guardsman, you're satisfied with the free booze you get for a week at any tavern you enter
> The end

>> No.17622207

>Be a commoner, much better off than a peasant, pretty content
>Couple of your brothers have died from accidents/diseases, a few of your sisters were married off
>Ma and Pa still alive somehow, you visit them when you can, Ma makes the best bread, gods yes
>Be drafted into city militia
>Become best pals with the men in your squad, hit the taverns nightly after training
>Captain shows up during our drinking, shouting for us to get to our stations, it isn't a drill
>You and your mates are drunk off your asses, leaning on your pikes to keep from falling
>Looks like a couple of hill giants are acting rowdy, bashing in some of the hovels outside of the city, threatening to attac the city
>"Right then, I've got the BESH' IDEA, mates, now lissen' up"
>You and your buddies tear a couple of rags up, grab some rotted wood staves and walk out towards the giants
>Captain is flipping his shit
>Pretend to be mighty wizards in your drunk stupor, attempting to scare the giants off
>The Hill Giants run for the, well you know
>As you walk into town, Captain is about to slap your shit when the mayor congratulates you and your bros on getting rid of the giants
>Become heroes of the city and pull off drunken misadventures with your mates once in a while
>Call yourselves 'The City Guys"

>> No.17622283

>Fresh out of magical communications school
>Crowmancer, messenger crows all up in here
>Get assigned to region recently devastated by lich
>Introduce myself as "New Cromancer"
>PTSD paladin hears "Necromancer"
>Tries to kill me, no questions asked.
>In desperation, use crows to attack him
>Buncha dead crows, one dead paladin
>Shit Shit Shit, oh goddamn
>Flee to communication tower, only hope is to master my crowmancer powers before the inevitable attack, must become the greatest Crowmancer the world has ever seen.
>Paladin rides up a few months later
>Crows pick up on my anxiety, mob the poor bastard, I can't control them.
>Search his body, find letter from paladin's order, apologizing for the first incident and assuring me there will not be any more reprisals.

>> No.17622732

This seems relevant, but is posted elsewhere

>> No.17624068

I would love to have low-magic adventures while the chosen one has high-magic ones half-way around the world.

>> No.17624138

>Valiant dragon-slaying knight dies of syphilis. Or exhaustion.

>> No.17624149


A sort of "The Greatest story never told" thing? Yeah, that'd be cool.

>> No.17624578

>There is a vast treasure awaiting you, my friend! The golden horde of the Lich King lies in wait, and i have found you a map, a guide and a team of assistants.

Really sir?! This is amazing, i knew you would have a mission for me-

>What the.. Hold on just a second Mr. Stormbreaker *click*
>Damn intern, i told you not to come in here while i am using the communication cantrip.
>Get back down to the secretarial pool and type up these reports.

>> No.17625108

>Sail the local coast while the Chosen One is sailing the stars.
>Go barhopping while the Chosen One goes plane-hopping.
>Save the major from an assassin while the Chosen One fights an army of demons off of Heaven's doorstep.
>Die in sleep while the Chosen One is struck down in an act of epic self-sacrifice.
>Name is forgotten after a generation while the Chosen One is remembered until the final gasp of this universe.
I think I did pretty well for myself.

>> No.17626072



>> No.17629453

Bumping for win.

>> No.17632393

>Enter cave
>Undead just raising hands and shit
>Find Lich
> "Too late you fools, the computer has been programmed to get replacement parts"
>Spend eternity trying to overload repair mechanisms even though you defeated Lich

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