/tg/ - Traditional Games

"Wait until you see what I heard, Deathwatch!" yells Korst'la excitedly.
"Hurr hurr hurr, I likes dis git!" says Kroz, "You'ze a real Deffskull!"
"...must you use my office?" sighs Boris.
"Oh relax, it'll be fun!" says Korst'la, "You always stand to make a profit off it anyway."
"So wut did ya 'ear?" asks Grakgut.
Korst'la reaches into his pocket, "Oh, right, almost forgot! Inquisitor Doggfather has a message for you guys!"
He pulls out a small message. "He says that someone messed up bad. The attempted exterminatus of Xaviol wasn't supposed to happen. He's trying to find out who authorized it, as the clearance can only come from another Inquisitor. If he finds out more, he'll find you."
"Dats dumb. Ya gotta make shure ya want sumfin' zogged 'efore ya do it" says Grakgut.
"More or less." says Korst'la, "BUT WHO CARES! Check this out!"
Korst'la walks over to a hololith terminal, and activates it. The image of a planet covered in ocean, with very few islands, appears.
"Wot'z dis place?" asks Kroz.
"Aquaphobia." says Korst'la, "And it's under attack by the Tau."
"Uh...wots dat mean in 'umie?" whispers Grakgut to Kroz and Wurrza.
"Uh, Phobos iz one o' da 'umie mek moons, so dey mus' make kroozas dere!" says Wurrza.
"They're bringing something, a secret weapon, to help with the conquest." says Korst'la. "I don't know what it is, but I want it!"
"So... Ya need us ta find da biggest treaser on da planit, an loot it, fer pays, roight?" asks Kroz.
"Oh, I've already found the treasure!" says Korst'la, "They're transporting it on a Manta Heavy Command Cruiser."

"Uh, wots a Manta?" whispers Kroz.
""Dats da big drop bomma da blue gits use." whispers back Grakgut.
"It will be heavily guarded, but I can sneak in no problem." says Korst'la, "but with you guys ruining their day..."
"Iz okay if weeze take it roight?" asks Kroz.
"If it lasts that long. It will be heavily guarded, and the inquisition has already sent a team to fight it," says Korst'la, "And if they destroy it first, I lose their hidden cargo."
"Dun want dat. Loosin' loot iz da 'ardest fing." sighs Grakgut, "Yea. Oi lost me armz!"
"I'm told you cut those off yourself...Space Marine." snickers Grenadius.
"...Kay so Oi chopped dem off, but it WUZ FER SCOIENCE!" replies Grakgut.
"Well, all I want is the top-secret cargo." says Korst'la, "You all can have the rest, I really don't care."
"So Weeze just gots ta loot da place and youze'll steal fings from in dere while youze at it?" asks Kroz.
"An empty fortress iz loike a mind full'a unguarded loot!" adds Wurrza helpfully, waving his Librarian's stick.
"Precisely! I'm going to sneak onto the Manta, and steal whatever it is they're carrying." says Korst'la, "I can't speak for looting it, but whatever's left is yours!"
"Yep...I wonts dat Manta." declares Kroz.
"Well then, see you over Aquaphobia!" says Korst'la, walking out of Boris' shop.
"It was fun to fight alongside you, then." says Grenadius, heading out, "Uzgob, make sure that if they fire you, they remember to re-hire you!"
"Hurr hur, roight!" says Uzgob.

"Da plan iz simple. While 'ez creatin a distrakshun by sneakin all sneaky-loike undetekted ta steal da fing... Weeze gunna use dat ta steal da Manta!" says Kroz.
"Da gud fing 'bout foightin Tau is dey'z terrible in up-klose taktikal situations. They loik to keep da fight at a distance...but da bulk-ead o' deir ships makes for da...circumstances they's weakest in." says Wurrza.
"ROIGHT. ALL weeze gots ta do iz be all kareful an stuff to not zog da manta like every other big fing weeze tried ta loot. Dat shud be easy. Two... uh... five... uh, Nine? time da charmz?" asks Kroz.
"Very well. Happy looting, orks." says Boris, heading back into the rear of the shop, "I am surprised Korst'la has not seen through you. He truly is as dumb as his grandfather..."
"Roight...as long as we'z livin' da dream..." says Wurrza, shrugging his shoulders.

Leaving Boris's shop, the Kill Team once again makes their way through the Neon streets and darkened alleyways of the hive of scum and villainy known as Iniega. One alleyway catches their eye, however, as it glows a familiar blue.

"Got a selection of good things on sale, stranger..." says the Merchant.

Grakgut attempts for a Rocket Fist upgrade, but just barely fails. Kroz picks up a box of about 20 red-bulb motion predictors for the team. Wurrza acquires a replacement best Burna, with intentions for psyflame ammo and Force upgrades in the future. The team collectively tries for ADMMs for the Last Danca, but cocks it up.

"Heh heh heh, thank you." says the Merchant. The alleyway lies dark and deserted as the Merchant turns a corner.

The Kill Team makes their way back to the Krooza, now fully repaired and outfitted. Entering the landing bay, the doors slamming open, Boldo flutters out and Uzgob begins running to the Mekshop.
"Got sumfin' ta work on!" says Uzgob.
"HAHA. Youze aint da only'un! Iz goin to da bridge!" says Kroz.

Wurrza heads to his wizard's tower. He begins to sit down, listening to the psychic clamor of the over 135,000 orks below him, when he hears a noise behind him.
"Gronk."

Grakgut had stuffed the Rambisaurs in Wurrza's tower.
"Wot da zog is dat?" asks Wurrza. He gets his beastmaster on, and psychically dominates the thing's mind. One of the larger Rambisaurus begins following Wurrza around.

"Tenshun Kroo of Da Looted Krooza. Dis iz yer Bigmek speakin. We'ze gunna engage in da Worp-Fingz fer time, ta get to a planet full'o blue gitz ta loot an Foight an... uh... Foight and Loot. Keep all zoggin git fingz in dem uproight gubbinz, an make note of da grotz near da airloks. NO OPENIN DA AIRLOKS IF YOUZE DUN WANNA ENJINZ PERGE!" yells Kroz, "NOW NO TURNIN CHARTREUSE! ERE WE GO!"

The Looted Krooza enters the Warp. The trip is expected to take three days. Wurrza decides he wants to upgrade his pet Rambisaurus. However, as he heads to the painbay to see the hulking neighborhood painboy, things go a predictable type of unpredictable weird.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbpbA8l9nr4

"Oh zog, you grotz betta not turn Chartreuse!" exclaims Kroz.
The walls begin to rotate, the air begins to smell like burning electronics, and...the grots turn puce.
Once again, the grots begin panicking, while gunfire erupts as the boyz begin dakka-ing grots.
"First chartreuse, now puce! WOT DA ZOG IZ WIF DEM GROTZ IN DA WARP?!" exclaims Kroz.
Grakgut has his grot manservant begin collecting the puce, while Wurrza plans out upgrades to the Rambisaurus.
As the grots find their forms malleable, the day is lost as various Warp Happy Fun Time occurs.

As the rest of the warp trip grinds on, Kroz begins working on building a plasma jetpack. He gets about halfway through over the two days. In the Painbay, Wurrza and Grakgut work on making the Rambisaurus more orky. Grakgut horrifically fails his Chymist test, making a smoking bubbling concoction, including such things as ork blood, sister blood, squig bitz, fungus beer, and a grot that fell in and died.

Wurrza psychically induces sleep in the Rambisaurus, and begins injecting orky thoughts, causing a blood rain perils. Grakgut is overjoyed, as some of the blood mixes with his horrorshow of a potion, which he promptly injects into the Rambisaurus. The Rambisaurus passes Toughness to not instantly die, and wakes up, frenzying across the painbay.

Wurrza and Grakgut consider this a huge success.

The following morning, the Looted Krooza exits the warp. The Kill Team can see Aquaphobia's seas from space. Granted, there really isn't much to see but the sea. The Kill Team's searchy gubbins pick up signals. "All right, Deathwatch!" says Korst'la, "It's all you! We'll come in during the ruckus!"

Both Korst'la and the Kill Team, however, cannot even seem to find the battle at first. They spend about an hour searching the planet before they pick signs of the Manta up. Hololiths show a small island, as well as its approximate coordinates. Grakgut kicks the cogitator until it zooms in to the Air Cadre. The Manta is flying over the sea, towards the island. It is escorted by a number of Barracuda fighters and Tiger Shark support platforms.

The players first consider activating Supa Dimenshun Stompa mode, however the size difference would most likely destroy all the loot. So they settle on a second course of action.

They will Drop Pod on top of the Manta and steal it from the inside.

"UZGOB! GETS UP'ERE!" yells Kroz.
"Wots up, boss?" asks Uzgob. He appears to be holding a massive tube.
"Wotz dat?" asks Kroz.
"Dat fing wit all da dakka on it called it a "RCL." Goes on da bomma." says Uzgob.
"'ow akkurate ken we makes one of da rokks? We needz ta land ROIGHT on dat fing dere," says Kroz, pointing to the Manta.
"Uh, Gettin' da rokk dere ain't a problem. Gettin' da boyz in is. Doze fings got krooza armor." says Uzgob.
"Get us da pod dere, weeze kant lootz it wifout bein in dere, so weeze might as well steal it while it flies and back up 'ere," states Kroz.
"Unless ya bring it down, first..." muses Uzgob.
"DAT'LL BLOW IT UP YA GIT, AN IZ WONTS DAT FING. An' da blue git'z payin' us fer da fing innit." says Kroz angrily.
"Wot're we gonna do wif it?" asks Wurrza.
"Uh...wait! Krooza needs a hat!" yells Kroz.
"An' Krooza's gonna get one!" adds Grakgut.

The Kill Team rushes to the Rokk Pods.

The Kill Team collects a squad of the 'ardest boyz they know. Coincidentally, they have been operated on by Grakgut. The Kill Team gets into one pod, and the boyz get into another. They drop down, feeling the heat of re-entry around them. Looking out the window, the kill team can see the Manta approaching, its guards unaware. And then they hear a scraping.

The Rokk Pods are deflected by the Manta's energy fields. The Manta had a PR50 shield on its main body, and the rolls were 18 and 31.

Both pods are deflected by the shield, and the pods hit the beach. The Inquisitorial forces finally arrive, fighters and bombers complicating the situation.

Grakgut walks out on the beach, falls to his knees, and screams at the sky.
"ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOG!"

On the plus side, the beach feels rather pleasant.

"OI. KROZ. WUT WUZ DAT?!" yells Grakgut angrily.
"UH. DAT WOZ DA GENESIS PART OF ME PLAN. DEM SHIELD FINGS DAT BOUNCED US OFF LOIKE DAKKA OFF YOUZE ARMER!" replies Kroz.

Session 15. The highlights? Three stranded stoogorks.

The players immediately begin to formulate ways to get off the island. Their first idea is to try a lance bombardment to force the Tau down. However, rokkin' ork BS means the lance shot is far off targer, boiling that area of the sea and leaving the island suffused in a steamy mist that cuts off some sight to the horizon.

Their second idea is to try and force EVERYONE down.

"ATTENSHUN IMPERIAL AND TAU VESSELS. DIS IS DA IMPERIAL BATTOL BARGE DA LOOTED KROOZA, FLAGSHIP OF CHAPTA DEFFWOTCH. YOUZE HAZ SEEN US WARNIN SHOT. ALL HOSTILITIES MUS' END AN' LAND ON DA NEARBY ISLAND FER PARLEY WIF DA CHAPTA BOSSES, OR DIS WORLD'LL BE ZOGGED O' BOTH 'ERETIKS AN' XENOS!" yells Kroz into the voxcaster.
"Fink dat'll work?" asks Kroz.
"...no." says Grakgut and Wurrza, "Dat won't work at all."

The Imperial comms are flooded with cries of HERESY. This didn't work out too well either. Not to mention the Inquisitorial pilots begin to take heavy losses from the distraction.

0 for 2.

Kroz then considers Tau military doctrine. In Tau warfare, they NEVER meet the enemy face to face in a combat situation. While the kill team can't remember the specifics of Tau warfare, they know that it pretty much all revolves around shooting, and almost NO close quarters combat. They get auxiliaries for that. However, they do remember what happens if a man is down - drones are sent to first investigate, then pickup is established.

So they open up a line to the Tau, no minor task in itself. This time, Grakgut gives it a go.

Four degrees of failure on Deceive.
"HONORABRU COMMANDERU. WE'ZE BEEN ZOGGED AN' REKWEST ASSISTANCU. PREASE COME AND HERP US 'FORE DA DISHANAHROBORU 'UMIES LOOT OUR DAKKA."
"Who is this? What's your operating number?" asks the Tau on the other end.
"Uh...4." stammers Grakgut.
"That's not a valid operating number, Imperial spy." says the Tau on the other side, ending the comms.
"Borin' konversation anyway. Shoulda said sumfin' 'bout a reactor leak." says Wurrza.

"Uh, boss, you dere yet?" asks Uzgob over the comms.
"Uh..." starts Grakgut.
"We'ze somewhere..." says Kroz.
"Uh, want me ta send down da Bomma?" asks Uzgob.
"... it ain't gunna crash?" asks Kroz.
"Not if Oi aim it roight..." says Uzgob.
"YOUZE BETT. WAIT WOT?"
"Jus' give da word, boss!"
"DIS BETTA WERK."
"Pretty sure nuffin' bad'll 'appen!" says Uzgob.

A screaming pierces through the air. The Kill Team sees the bomma through the mist. It hits the sand and slides across the beach. The doors fall open, the sound muffled by the sand. Out of the Danca flies Boldo. He chirps in the mist.
"Told ya oi wouldn't miss, boss!" says Uzgob, "used da lucky kannons!"

Kroz hops in, flicks all necessary switches, and gets ready to make a very very close drop on the Manta. The last of the Imperial fighters get shot down. The Last Danca flies closer towards the tau.

"Deathwa-----------tch out! I thi---------saw your approa--------" says a voice over vox.
A Marauder AWACS flies by.
"Oh zog, is dat Walrus?" asks Grakgut.

The Tau turn to the Kill Team, Barracudas and Tiger Sharks taking combat position.

At this moment, 'Eadmangla arrived, as did da rest of da boyz.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0biDhwPi-IU

The Kill Team was facing off against a wing of 4 Barracudas, two Tiger Shark A-X-0-0 Fire Support Platforms (Ion Cannon, Missile Pods), and two Tiger Shark A-X-2-2 Electronic Warfare platform, which were providing ESM and jamming the Kill Teams' communications.

"----tch! There are enem--------viding ESM! Yo---------n a world of hurt if y----et'em go!" says Walrus, whose signal is being jammed.

Kroz flies over and drops Wurrza and Grakgut onto the Manta's surface. Wurrza make it safely, but Grakgut is deflected by the shield, and begins falling to the sea. While Wurrza psychically fries drone burst cannon turrets, Kroz and 'Eadmangla begin taking out the jammer aircraft, to remove a pesky -20 to BS. In the meantime, they are getting shot up. 'Eadmangla finally points out Grakgut's falling, and they save him at the very last moment. They take out some Barracudas with missiles, before heading back for another go. Once again over the Manta, Grakgut hops out and makes it onto the Manta.

Kroz and 'Eadmangla finally finish off the jammer Tiger Sharks, allowing Walrus to give a full battlefield brief. The RCL special weapon proves to be a boon, a series of Multiple Rocket Pods with a fire rate of -/-/12, each dealing 3d10+10 Pen 10. Grakgut and Wurrza, in the meantime, are cutting through the Manta's armor, though since a Manta has starship armor it is taking a LONG time. Using the RCLs on the Tiger Sharks and radcannon guns on the Barracudas, the Kill Team finally isolates the Manta.

Which promptly begins ascending.

Having lost its escort, the Manta decides for a tactical withdrawal. To cover its escape, it launches a new type of seeker missile, which not only damages from impact, but creates a massive secondary explosion just as strong as the original impact. Grakgut and Wurrza lose their grip from the Manta as it reaches a 90 degree angle.

"Deathwatch! Aim for its engines to slow its ascent!" yells Walrus.

The Kill Team performs a strafing run, rockets impacting the engines. Finally, the Manta's ascent starts to slow, and reverse.

"Heavy Command Cruiser Manta out of commission! Excellent work!" says Walrus, "The Deathwatch is the real deal!"
"If deyz zoggin blow up again, I'z tryin da orkross kannon on dis zoggin planet." whispers Kroz.

The Manta hits the ground, and flips onto its bottom.
"HA!" yells Grakgut, "da fish turned belly-up!"

A series of explosions rock the Manta, but these seem to be limited to the weapons and storage bays. The Manta is otherwise intact.
"Walrus, Da...uh...Adeptus Mekanikus iz askin' us ta get dis fing back to da Looted Krooza, soz dey kan...uh, muck about wif it." says Kroz.
"I'll never understand those cogboys. Either way, give them my regards." says Walrus as he pulls off.

Landing near the Manta, the Kill Team disembarks and walks forward, until they bump into something invisible. 'Eadmangla pokes it, and Grakgut punches it, causing one of Korst'la's Phantomfish to decloak.

As the players approach the Manta, the door to the Manta's Landing Bay explodes open.

"I like this thing!" yells Korst'la as he marches out in a large battlemech.

"Dis da fing yooze wanted?" asks Kroz.
"Yep!" says Korst'la, "You can have the rest, I don't care!"
"... OI. WAIT 'ERE A SEC. YOUZE GUNNA 'ELP ME FIX DIS FING!" yells Kroz.
"I think you guys can handle yourself on that." says Korst'la, "I'm not a fan of repair, and Jamal is busy fixing the Stealth System."
"Boss" whispers a nearby cardboard box, "leave it to us!"

The line of Cardboard boxes begin sneaking onto the Manta as Korst'la boards the Phantomfish.

'Eadmangla begins searching around for loot. It seems that there was not much on the Manta but Korst'la's battlemech. 'Eadmangla does, however, find a gun drone laying around, though he is unable to find a drone controller on the Manta. Exploring the rest of the Manta, the Kill Team finds most of the Tau dead, suicide by cyanide-equivalent pills.

While Kroz begins fixing the engines, Boldo camped on his head, 'Eadmangla and Grakgut begin quizzing a nearby terminal for information.
"Komputah...wut iz puce?" asks Grakgut.
"Puce: A shade of reddish brown." states the computer.
"Komputah. Wut...iz me?" asks Grakgut.
"You are you." states the computer.
"Gud answer." says Grakgut.
"Komputah, display supa-suit gubbinz." says 'Eadmangla.
"Information not found." states the computer
"Komputah. Wut iz da perpose uv dis ship?" asks Grakgut.
"Transport for Project Ubersuit."
"When wuz last datazog?" asks 'Eadmangla.
"From where?" asks Grakgut.
"No Datawipes determined." drones the computer, "Transport from Fal'shia to Aquaphobia complete."
The computer shuts down.

Kroz eventually gets the Manta space-worthy, and pulls it into one of the larger launch bays. Conversion into a hat begins immediately. The Kill Team also endeavors to turn it into a big shuttle for da boyz.

"Awright, boss!" says Pliskin, "'ere's da loadout!"
The kill team received 500 XP and 2 PF, and we called the session there.

Things went...poorly this session. While a majority of it was due to poor dice rolls, I must take some responsibility. I lacked the time to properly give the session the planning it needed, and thus looked like a putz halfway through. In retrospect, I should have delayed it, but what was done is done.

I think that things will be much more interesting next session, however. I'll have plenty of time to prepare in between the restarting of classes.

this was a comedy of errors

>>17382277

Indeed. Things went relatively poorly for all involved. But the players were still ecstatic they got a hat for Krooza, so I guess it wasn't a total loss.

>>17382030

yep, heresy

Great work as always, Shas'o.

If I might ask you a question:
Not all of the Deffwotch threads were archived on sup/tg/.
Would it be correct to assume that you've been saving the original copies of these stories as you type them out, and if so, do you think you could upload the lot of 'em as a collection once the campaign is done?

>>17382006
>Krooza needs a hat!

Wait, SDSLK has a hat now? It's going to look like an orky version of the Gokaiger giant robot at this rate!

>>17382428

Yes. At the conclusion of the campaign, Deffwotch: Collected Visions will be released, just as Pimps in Space: Collected Visions was.

>>17382449

Yes. They intend to use the Manta as a hat first and foremost, as well as a big pod to get da boyz to da fight.

How did Grenadius and Boris know Uzgob? And how did they instantly know the players were orks?

>>17382509

How interesting. Nobody ever asks that question. Yes, Boris and Grenadius have a history with Uzgob.

Although, perhaps they would be more easily recognized if I called them Explorator and Arch-Militant, respectively?

Either way, I wouldn't give it much more thought.

late night bump for Deffwotch

You'd think people would seriously question the validity of any of my plans by now.

Ah well. Pretty soon four plasma cannons and a grav chute will be one big orky set of "wings". Sure, could've just ordered a bloody jetpack, easier aquisition, but hey, you gotta go for aesthetics once in a while.

>>17382449
Well its still certainly a lot more in the lines of Battle-7 or the like, but its not like we aren't a freebooter vessel, so its only natural we'd look as bloody terribly mismatched as that ultimate Gokai-Oh.

Shas'O: the session was fine. You can't always account for half a session getting used up by sheer player stupidity (this coming from the source of it no less), and things taking forever through horrid rolls

ack. sorry. this was Kroz. Didn't mean to go all anonymous (lost name on a posting timeout)
Well, Morning Bump I guess

>>17384581

I wouldn't be surprised if the Lifeguards showed up with their own giant robot. Hell, it could be made up of really big demon parts: Khrone Bloodcrusher for the legs, Great Unclean One for the body, Slaaneshi claws for arms, Tzeentch wings, and the Midget forms the head!

>>17384581
Ah, so I'm not the only one who has thought of getting a cape or wings or something.... Or something.

>>17385422

it seems everyone's trying to fly. But didn't the Shas'o say you were too big?

He's in mega-armor, which, like terminator suits, is incompatible with many things.

Mind you the buggerhas two power klaws and is still operating on people successfully.

But he's got ways.

>>17386462
I've given up on flying (for now), I had meant getting a cape or wings or something for Da Krooza.

>>17389302
That would be interesting to say the least

>>17381911
Seems like something I would have said
>>17381919
You would point that out
>>17381926
Also something I would have said

>>17385422
>get it a cape

I love you. Now I gotta do this.