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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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[ERROR] No.17146906 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

>Senior in high school
>Catholic school, we have a Mass today to celebrate the Immaculate Conception
>Kids setting up for the Mass running around trying to get tech shit to work
>They're having problems
>Go into the room where the main box for all the microphone shit is
>Throw arms up
>Shit starts to work
>MFW I pray to the Machine God all Mass, fuck Mary and Jesus and that other dude
Anything like this happen to anyone else?

>> No.17146935

One time I was trying to get my old N64 to work. I said an Adeptus litany of some sort over it and it turned on for the first time in five years.

>> No.17146959

Who's "that other dude"?

>> No.17146976

The Holy Spirit.

>> No.17146984

So then where's the Father?

>> No.17147003


>> No.17147010

But no one prays to Joseph because he sucks.

>> No.17147014

But Joesph was just a man...

>> No.17147015

this is my standard method of solving problems.

>> No.17147019

Obviously it's Gabriel. He's the only "dude" mentioned in the Gospel reading at a Catholic mass on this holy day.

>> No.17147025


it's just an expression, you brutes.

"jesus, mary, joseph", you always cal out these three together

same for
"father, son, holy spirit"

don't mix it up

>> No.17147042

>An Archangel
>A "dude"

>> No.17147047

>inb4 you realize you're practicing chaos magic

Nigga dis shit is awesome.

>> No.17147063

the core principle can apply to a lot of thing, you know. Just "believe it works, do wibbly wobbly gestures to trigger it, and it works" is hardly exclusive to Chaos Magic.

>> No.17147078


>> No.17147080

Dats right orky, it is.

>> No.17147101

No, I don't base my spirituality off of toy company fluff.
Pic related...and, oh look, what edition of D and D do they enjoy? Ha ha.

>> No.17147109

Looks like 2e to me

>> No.17147135

You're not thinking positively man. Of course the Emps is protecting us. When was the last time you saw a ravening warp daemon? Exactly.

The lack of anything approaching proof never stopped any other religion.

To sell it, you need to emphasise the fundamental quality of the Human soul.
Established religion tells people they are weak and sinful and shameful.
You tell them they're are blessed and holy and powerful.
You point them at the wonders of man, how together we can create miracles.
Teach them brotherhood and unity instead of division.
Teach them strength and honor in their humanity instead of shame.
Show them the sky and the light of a million stars and tell them our destiny.
To walk amongst the stars and tame them.

And teach them they need have no fear.

For the Emperor protects. Always.

Simply tell them what they wish to hear. What they know in the hearts to be true.

Religions in this world use fear to enthrall their victims, take what should be natural and just and make it evil or sinful.

>> No.17147150

Christ tells you you are sinful beyond redemption through no fault of your own.
The Emperor tells you to be proud.
You are human, perfect in form, perfect in mind.
Nothing on the face of the world compares to you.
You love, your joy, your anger and yes even your hate, is to be human.
It is to be true to your nature.

Christ offers you shame. The Emperor offers you pride in who you are.

Allah expects mere obedience, yet what does he offer in return?
Nothing, except sparing us his lash as long as we continue our obesiance.
The Emperor asks for your loyalty, but only in his cause, that of all mankind, to build a better future.
For that future he gave everything.
What has Allah sacrificed??

What of the Hindu and Buddhists!
They tell us this world is suffering.
That to abandon hope and desire is the best a man can hope for.
Lies. Every word.

>> No.17147158

>Delicious ladyboy
>The rest of those fuckers
>Those "first mustaches"
>That everything else

I feel so conflicted.

>> No.17147163

>> No.17147164

I like how you think good sir!

>> No.17147167

The future of mankind is the stars. It's unity throughout the skies, to see the wonders of the universe laid out before him. There is something special in all of us. The spark of life and joy and happiness. The human soul, pure and incorruptable. It's spirit burns brighter than a billion torches in teh dark, banishing the shadows of defeatism and gloom.

Never listen to those who tell you that life is suffering and existence is meaningless. That way madness and decay lies.

I tell you this brothers, a message that needs telling more now than ever. It is a simple message, that should be heard in every corner of the globe, echoing from the highest mountain to the deepest oceans.

We have PURPOSE.
Forget our petty wars and divisions, for the greater struggle lies out there, against a universe that has recognised our greatness and in it's fear seeks to destroy us.
We can be united, The Emperor has shown us the way forward.
Free from the lies of false prophets, the jealous falsehoods of dying gods, united in the great mission that lies ahead.

>> No.17147168

I love how there's actually a real, live trap among them.

I thought that shit was just the stuff of internet trolling.

>> No.17147178

I love how he looks better than (what appears to be) the two females.

>> No.17147183

There are some I know, that these words will not be enough. For fear and doubt still lie heavy on their hearts and souls. So this I say to you. The emperor watches over all of us. He is with us every moment. His strength is our strength. Guarding us. Protecting us whilst we do his holy work. Death when it comes has no power over the servants of the emperor, and when we die we shall sit in vigil at his side, watching over a better world we helped create. What more could a man ask?

Let me tell you of my dreams brother. I dream of that terrible eye. The home of that most greatest evil. And I smile. "Why?" You might ask. Because in that all consuming darkness I see a star. A star brighter then any other. It grows and as it grows the darkness fades. And the star calls out. and then I see them. First the angels. The souls of the faithful, all marching in unison. With every step they take, the daemonic cry out in agony. And then I see his armies. his Space Marines, His Inquisition, His Imperial Guard. the combined might of humanity all gathered together. All marching. The living and the dead. And then I see the dark gods themselves. And they are afraid. Remember what the Emperor has taught us, we are humanity and nothing can hope to stop us.

>> No.17147189

My car only works properly if I pray to the Omnissiah before turning it on. Therefore I always thank it before I turn it off.
One time I turned the ignition without praying and the car seized up. I turned it back off, leaned my forehead against the steering wheel, gave the car a short prayer and tried again. The car turned on like it was new and didn't bother me again for weeks.

>> No.17147193


>> No.17147209

>there are no females in that pic
Three cheers for androgyny!

>> No.17147228

I thought the one behind "her" was just a really ugly woman. But, really? Not even the one to the left?

>> No.17147229

>implying choosing spirituality from any other source is somehow less retarded
The bible and 40k fluff are both stories, and as such are equally valid as a source of spirituality.

>> No.17147231

You're so edgy, OP! I bet you made those nuns REALLY MAD! XD XD XD And your parents too! You know what you should listen to? MARILYN MANSON! Hoboy, those adults will get SO MAD! XD XD XD

>> No.17147232

I just mutter "Emprah protect" during sex. It's involuntary, almost a mental tic that I have. Probably because it replaced the usual muttering of "Jesus Christ".

>> No.17147233


This is Mankind's only creed. Now and Forever.

>> No.17147241

One is older, and has a larger existing following.
Not all sources of spirituality are equally valid.

>> No.17147258

>yfw Joseph was't the father, neither superhuman, he was just some dude was passing...

Fuck you Mary...what a whore.

>> No.17147269

>One is older, and has a larger existing following.
Your premise is true.

>Not all sources of spirituality are equally valid.
But I have no idea how it leads to your conclusion.

>> No.17147275

Maybe the one on the left. Maybe. But the jaw looks pretty masculine to me.

Going by the fact that the projector screen in the background indicated that it was a gathering of the "Bronies," I'm assuming they're all bros, ergo dudes.

>> No.17147281

Oh boy, that takes me back.
I remember when we said that when comparing those guys starting up a cult in the name of that jesus fellow to us real jews.

>> No.17147293

Right, older things are more correct!


>> No.17147295

Geocentricism was around for far longer than heliocentricism.
Just saying.
I think the whole "Emperor in modern day" thing is kinda cool, but kinda stupid.

>> No.17147301

Yeah the Omnissiah has been worshipped for 20,000 years

>> No.17147311

>Sup Joseph this is God here, just lettin you know I knocked up your bitch and theres fuck all you can do about it. Also my baby will ruin her virgin pussy before you get to try it. Smell ya later, fag

God is a fucking asshole, and Joseph is a huge pussy for not renouncing his faith and joining Satan in a grand siege of heaven.

>> No.17147321

But they call all of them that.

I don't know.

I just want more pictures of Trappy McGee over there.

>> No.17147330

It looks like old school redbox, but what it IS is 4e Essentials.
So you're double retarded, way to go.

>> No.17147335

Well, I won't say absolutely that Christianity is no more valid than 40k religion, what passes for modern Christianity bears no resemblance to the original religion, and is factually known to have been a fabrication of Emperor Constantine and a few others.

For fuck's sake, originally Mary wasn't a virgin, and Jesus was only the "son of God" in the sense that any man of faith who accepts salvation is a son of God. Also, Hell didn't exist, and even the virtuous dead didn't enter heaven until Judgment Day.

>> No.17147345

No, he's a huge pussy for not simply shoving her down a rocky slope and yelling out to god "Who's the bitch now?"

>> No.17147350

I just now realized this. I mean, I knew God was a dick for years, but this is just showing HOW MUCH OF a dick he was.

>> No.17147364


Back then, he would have been perfectly within his right to falcon punch baby Jesus right out of her, or even just kill her for getting pregnant by somebody other than her husband.

>> No.17147375

>Go to normal high school
>Biology class
>Teacher's too afraid to talk seriously about evolution
>Transfer to Catholic high school in first month
>Serious lessons on evolution, everyone accepts it as fact

Catholic schools are god tier, pun unintended.

>> No.17147393

>this thread

>> No.17147421

Argument from Age and Argument from Popularity are both logical fallacies.

>> No.17147439

That's because Catholics, despite their reputation, aren't stuck in the middle ages. At least not nearly as much as American microchurch preachers.

>> No.17147440

>The bastard, the whore, the pussy and above of them the dick almighty.

>> No.17147442

You must have some truly shit-tier public schools.

When I went to high school, the teacher only taught evolution, no intelligent design bullshit. When one of my classmates started to bitch about religion, he shouter her down and threatened to give her an F if she interrupted lecture again.

Then again, this is the same teacher who used to punish troublesome students by forcing them to hold the class pet (a particularly squeeze-happy little boa constrictor) until they had "learned their lesson." It was a sad day when he got fired.

>> No.17147453

The Catholic Church generally accepts evolution as fact and the stories in the OT as allegorical. You get the odd retard but not even close to the amount of retardation exhibited by some over Christian groups "Hurr the Earth is 6000 years old, the Bible can't be false."

>> No.17147455


This person is correct and I approve of their message.

>> No.17147485

Proving that the universe exists will also lead to a logical fallacy.

And you still post on 4chan.

>> No.17147488

It's funny how at the time of their emergence the Protestants were some of the most progressively minded branches of Christianity, while now they're mostly reduced to being narrowminded morons.

>> No.17147490

>Shit tier public schools
>Teacher just as close-minded as the most fundamental of Christians

Oppressing other people's beliefs, scientifically founded or no, is NOT okay. If you think being backed by science makes you any better, you should head over the the atheist group on reddit.

>> No.17147492

What other standard would you suggest for analyzing a religion's merits aside from age and popularity?

It's not like you can go knock on the gates of Heaven and ask which religion has it right.

>> No.17147513

>What other standard would you suggest for analyzing a religion's merits aside from age and popularity?

How about it's benefits to society and humanity's moral and technological development in general?

>> No.17147514


This is a poor teacher, and should have been fired. That girl isn't going to learn anything from him. Yelling at someone usually just closes their minds more.

>> No.17147519

>yfw God has not enough power to make a true son, Jesus is only a clone.

>> No.17147549


I hesitate to call this HFY because of the negative connotations, but it really is. That's a religion I could get behind.

I've seen bits and pieces of this before...where does it come from?

>> No.17147565

This is now an Imperial Truth thread.

>> No.17147571

This thread reminds me.
Old testament God is a quarter-step from just saying "fuck this shit, I'll destroy everything and start over" the whole way through.
New testament God preaches kindness, is an awesome dude overall. Though still kind of a dick.
So, why the sudden change? Well, what happened in between? Jesus gets born at the beginning of the New testament, so...
God chilled out because he finally got laid.

>> No.17147573


>> No.17147577

>What other standard would you suggest for analyzing a religion's merits aside from age and popularity?

Evidence? Reproducibility of claims? Oh wait...

>> No.17147582

>Dreamworks face

>> No.17147590

Humanity, Fuck Yeah!

requesting the pic about humans breathing fuel and pissing acid.

>> No.17147592

Considering that it looks like a few people know their stuff regarding religion, anyone mind trying to explain how the whole "tower of babel" thing was totally not a dick move by god's part?

>> No.17147596

/tg/ - Wisdom

>> No.17147601

Not, mind you, that we were discussing the merits of religious bodies, anyway, but their credibility. If we want to discuss merits, one might argue that belief in the God-Emperor is superior to most faiths by virtue of the fact that no one has committed murder or repressed anyone in the God-Emperor's name.

>> No.17147608

And then the heavy metal kicks in...


>> No.17147616

Because God arbitrarily decides what's good and evil and is incapable of doing any evil. Hence Tower of Babel was a good and just act.

>> No.17147617

It was. The Old Testament was written a longer time ago and thus it's more retarded and pagan-minded. God had all the justification he needed because he had the power to enforce his worldview on humanity.

>> No.17147624

There is no explanation. OT Yahweh is a vicious, vindictive war god. The whole reason there's a NT at all is because the asshole needed a face lift. Now he's all-loving and all-forgiving, despite being the exact opposite - by his own admission and action - in the OT.

>> No.17147627

>God took out his sexual fustrations on the poor inhabitants of earth, killing thousands with his bullshit and commanding his loyal minions down on earth to kill thousands more
>gods face when he was a virgin with rage.
Nope, he is still a dick of unfathomable magnitude

>> No.17147637

>All beliefs are equally valid!

Alice thinks that drinking a mug of concentrated Drain Cleaner will kill her. She has mountains of evidence to back this up.

Bob thinks that he can drink a mug of Drain Cleaner and be perfectly fine. He has several Bible verses (such as Mark 16:18) to back this up.

Should these two "theories" be given equal time in the classroom?

>> No.17147642

So Christians, how does it feel to know that your entire faith is a shitty fanfiction of Judaism?

>> No.17147648


Science classrooms are not the place for religious views to be voiced. Sure, the teacher could probably have gone about it in a better way, but you're in that room to learn about science, not philosophy.

>> No.17147651

Not yet, at least...

>> No.17147660

All ideas are equally valid (that is to say, not at all)...in the absence of evidence.

This is the part cretinists forget (or willfully ignore). The natural selection mechanism is well-documented, well-understood, and even reproducible in laboratory conditions. God (let alone one of any given faith) isn't.

>> No.17147661


I thinks it's more of an expansion pack, with a much more optimistic plot. Like if 40k turned into Star Wars.

>> No.17147662


Strawman argument. You're creating a deliberately unbalanced hypothetical situation that naturally favors your side. Nowhere in religion does it state that drinking drain cleaner is perfectly good.

>> No.17147669

No one said intelligent design deserves mentioning in class. This is about a faggot teacher.

Also, you used the word 'theory' in 2 different ways there. Alice's stance was a theory due to scientific evidence. Bob's stance is a hypothesis.

>> No.17147682

>Not Sonata Arctica

>> No.17147686

No. Religion just advocates viciously murdering people for having sex out of wedlock or with the same sex. That's MUCH better.

>> No.17147690

Science is experimental philosophy.
Philosophy asks questions.
Science attempts to provide answers.

>> No.17147696

>If I just keep beating the fuck out of all these strawmen, I'm sure to win the argument!!!

>> No.17147697

They still are. But on the RIGHT side of the ocean.

>> No.17147709


Thanks for explaining.

>> No.17147715

>> When I went to high school, the teacher only taught evolution, no intelligent design bullshit. When one of my classmates started to bitch about religion, he shouter her down and threatened to give her an F if she interrupted lecture again.

>> Then again, this is the same teacher who used to punish troublesome students by forcing them to hold the class pet (a particularly squeeze-happy little boa constrictor) until they had "learned their lesson." It was a sad day when he got fired.

You had the best teacher ever.

>> No.17147718

And now you're bringing up something that has nothing to do with the argument at all in a poor attempt to debunk the opposer's argument. That's called ad hominem.

"Bob's views on science are invalid because he's an alcoholic"

>> No.17147722

>Nowhere in religion does it state that drinking drain cleaner is perfectly good.

Did you even read the example? The Bible most certainly does. Mark 16:18.

16:16 He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned.
17 And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues;
18 They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.
and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them.

>and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them

See also: Luke 10:19.

>> No.17147726

I had a teacher who once full-on punched a student in the face for saying "shut up, furnace face" to a girl who had been permanently disfigured in a fire.

>> No.17147728

>> No.17147735

I'd bitchslap that teacher and you. This joke was awesome.

>> No.17147738

>implying anything else but Manowar was suitable for the situation

>> No.17147739

>this is what children actually believe.

4chan is an 18+ website.

>> No.17147740


Yeah, just look at those danes who actually have a protestant state church and almost no catholics at all. So narrow-mindedly pro-evolution, not like America where catholicism and separation of church and state are respected.

>> No.17147750

I thought you wanted an explanation similar to one from a religious person. For that case, I try to provide one (as ex-religious myself). The Tower of Babel was like the 3yo kid using a ladder to steal the wallet out of his father's pocket. What should the father do? Stop him, punish him, and take the ladder away.

>> No.17147751

Don't you love it when atheists know the holy book of theists better than the theists themselves?

Let me guess, Christfags: it's a metaphor, right?

>> No.17147761

And for working on Sunday.

>> No.17147765

OP are you a judgememorialfag?

>> No.17147766

and science advocates using leeches to drain blood out of the body to rebalance the humours.

... what's that? Science doesn't advocate that anymore? Well, maybe not YOUR science, but some science still does.

... what's that? We're only talking about YOUR science? Then maybe you wanna be more clear about which religion is YOUR religion that you wanna badmouth, since I can use the "well MY religion doesn't do that anymore" excuse too.

Fuck y'all -- Moradin will hammer it all out in his soulforge and the unbelievers will spend eternity above ground in the overbright, burning for their sins.

>> No.17147770

I'm atheist actually. The other guy's just retarded though.

>> No.17147772

I think American Protestants are very different breed from the European ones. While the Catholic Church, being what it is, is more or less the same everywhere. Although they're trying to appeal the mainstraim a lot more in countries where their followers aren't a sizeable portion of the population.
Just like every other faith.

>> No.17147790

Take a look at

That's what a strawman argument ACTUALLY looks like.

>> No.17147794

>implying They tried to test our spirit, They tasted steel before we were done ,Grinding their bones into the dust of the past, All blown away like a shot from a gun

>> No.17147796

Moradin is cool and all, but I worship the goddess of Civilization, Erathis. Maybe we can have some sort of church-religion pact or something?

>> No.17147798

No "science" advocates that. You see, science is a self-improving ideology, as opposed to your dogmatic insanity. Science does not say "this is true," but rather "this is what all evidence indicates is true." Someone who insists that leeches 'balance the humors' in 2011 has more in common with your pathetic, misguided lot than with scientists.

>> No.17147811

>European protestants
Aren't they better known as the Pilgrims? Those dudes that fled to America because they felt "persecuted" when the Europeans wouldn't adhere to their religion's stricter 'laws'?

>> No.17147813

>> No.17147819


>> No.17147821

I ship Erathis + Emprah

>> No.17147823

THE TOWER OF BABEL was like a GROUP of 3 year old kids who planned to make a ladder to steal daddy's wallet.

What does daddy do? Not only does he punish them physically, but he scatters them and make sure his 3 kids wont understand each other and therefore promotes division among his children, leading to them being in eternal conflict with each other. All just to stop them from doing that shit

Jesus Fucking Christ, what a dick

Anyway, it was all just Aliens, religion is.

>> No.17147829

>mfw doesn't recognize the four senses of scripture.
>claims to know the word better than theist.

>> No.17147845


Well, I'd appreciate a few similar to this as well. Even if that explanation doesn't make that much sense. I mean, wouldn't it be better to stop, sit down and talk with the kid and explain why he shouldn't steal the wallet? Also, I consider the "punishment" to have been quite extreme. One could even interpret god's response as him being afraid of a united humanity for some reason. (My apologies if this bothers you or if I don't make much sense. English isn't my first language and religion isn't a field of knowledge I know a lot of.)

>> No.17147858


>Implying the Shaperate won't just edit the existence of the unbelievers out of the Memories, therefore ensuring they never existed in the first place in the eyes of the Ancestors.

>> No.17147867

Concession accepted, Christfuck.

>> No.17147872

OT Yahweh wasn't omnipotent. "Chariots of iron" and all that.

Probably he was afraid.

>> No.17147873

Even some translations nowadays in Revelation say that all are "asleep" until the trumpet is blown. Most pastors tend to skip that part.

>> No.17147878

>mfw uses theist and talks specifically about the Judeo-christian bible.
>Doesn't seem to realize theist is a term for any religious person.
>mfw I didn't catch it the first time.

>> No.17147881

Whoa, that kind of ridiculous argument doesn't belong on the noble, gentlemanly discussion boards of /tg/.
Get your shit back to /v/.

I mean, really. We're trying to have an intelligent discourse here.
Some people.

>> No.17147883

PROTIP: Old Medicine tends to work due to a bunch of people OBSERVING THE FUCK OUT OF THE PHENOMENA and then saying "Ok, lets do this and It might work."

Chinese\Indian\Middle Eastern medicine proved to be the master of this art, with many traditional cures still pretty much alive today.

>> No.17147884

actually thats islam,

well islam is the family dollar poor kid knockoff of judaism.

>> No.17147897

You probably quote Leviticus thinking it all still applies today.
God, atheist get less intelligent every year. (ba-dum-tiss)

>> No.17147911

>Things I don't like are only metaphor
>Everything else is literally true

Cool story, bro.

>> No.17147913

This thread.
Pic related: it relates to every last one of you.

>> No.17147921

Imperial Creed motherfucker!

Is there any other belief system/philosophy that tells you that you are capable of doing something and that you are good?
Because every other belief system just plain shits on you and your world view. You are either a sinner or a fool or unenlightened.

Only Emperor reveals the fact that Humanity can go and do good without being shackled to fear and superstition.

>> No.17147924


The pilgrims were just one small group of Protestants.
More specifically guys who got pissed about England's Anglican church which by itself is actually a big protestant church (80 million worldwide) though the least deviant from catholicism.

Then there's Lutheranism which is another more deviant protestant church with 74 million members.

>> No.17147926

>One could even interpret god's response as him being afraid of a united humanity for some reason.
Probably not. At least that is probably not was the original writers had in mind, seeing as the Abrahamic religions have always had a "submit before God" thing going, while the "HUMANITY STRONG!" edge somewhat more modern.

>> No.17147936

>You probably quote Leviticus thinking it all still applies today.

What, you mean the way Jesus did?

Matthew 5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.

Luke 16:17 And it is easier for heaven and earth to pass, than one tittle of the law to fail.

>> No.17147942


No, Darkseid is.

And it's good enough for me.

>> No.17147944

Your right, it's not like the concept hasn't been around since Sir Thomas Aquinas.

The concept is TOTALLY a invention of the modern era, not some centuries old stance held by the Catholic church.

>Troll harder

>> No.17147958

Dem crazy anglos.

>> No.17147959

Oh, seems you forgot the
>still applies today

It's okay, you just need to work on your reading skills. Leviticus is a book of law. Laws change. In fact, they've changed a lot from the first century.

>> No.17147973

I don't get how this is an exoneration, even going past the selective reading bullshit.

How is it not horrible for our Lord Almighty to have meant Leviticus once, regardless if he still does?

>> No.17147976

Well, there are some reasons why I'm atheist today.
Aside from that, God does seldom speak directly to people, and there was no prophet handy. And he was somehow afraid of united humanity because of the shit they could pull off. Not that he couldn't stop them doing that shit, but it is better tpo prevent them from doing the dumbest mistakes.

>> No.17147979

Job happened.
After seeing one man put up with all His bullshit, He had a different take on the human race.

>> No.17147989

So you think your cop-out is valid because it's old?

I've got some bad news for you, boyo.

>> No.17147991

>Be teenager
>Working with step dad
>He loads some sort of machine into his '80s Chevy work truck
>Machine weighs about 900 KG
>Truck almost pops a wheelie
"Oh god dad, what are you doing to this poor truck?!"

>Drive away with the fucking front wheels barely on the ground
>15 KPH the whole way
>Get to destination marvelously unscathed
>Thank the machine spirits for not fucking us

And that's my story

>> No.17147993

To sum this thread up, all who do not believe in the Emperor are heretics and enemies of mankind.

Also, sage for thinly veiled atheists vs. theists trolling

>> No.17147998

Could you please draw a young man around 18 years old with a black crew cut and a black gang bandanna wrapped around his mouth wearing a tank top with his arms spread a hand of poker cards in one hand that are glowing , in the other a pistol .Slung over his back is a large broadsword .

>> No.17147999

Language changes too, bro. The meaning of words changes, and with that comes change in interpretation. Translation, too, changes the meaning and intent of the original text.

Now how can anybody claim to follow the Bible literally anymore? It's ALL interpretation.

>> No.17148001


Well, that's part of my personal interpretation of it. What might have been a more "correct" interpretation, then?

>> No.17148007

"It's okay, guys, I totally don't murder people any more."

>> No.17148011

You, sir, deserve a medal for ignoring the massive shitstorm.
Hats off to you.

>> No.17148018

>Oh, seems you forgot the" still applies today" Part.
>It's okay, you just need to work on your reading skills.

It seems that it is you who needs to work on YOUR reading skills.

The Mosaic code is stated, over and over, to be a "permanent law" and a "permanent covenant", to be kept "always" and "unto a thousand generations" (Deut. 7:9). Yahweh is described in 1 Samuel (15:29) as someone who ""...does not lie or change his mind; for he is not a man, that he should change his mind.”
This is not something that magically goes away with the publication of the New Testament. Paul describes god as "The same yesterday, today, and tomorrow" (Heb 13:8). Jesus himself insists that "until heaven and earth pass away, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished." (Matt 5:18). You wanna disagree with Jesus Christ? Go ahead. Here's a Sharpie marker with which to cross out the first six letters from the name of your religion.

>> No.17148020

1. It's from the Old Testament, which though important to modern Christianity and Islam, has a lot of outdated shit and is even more jumbled and stitched together than the Bible.
2. It was meant to apply to some of the earliest of civilizations, a much more barbaric time.

>> No.17148025

Is that supposed to be a defense of your faith? That its book of rules is a translation of a translation of a translation penned down by multiple bronze-age primitives?

Are you trying to HELP us argue that the Bible is garbage?

>> No.17148026

Belief in the Emperor does not preclude sicnece and reasoning. On the contrary, the Imperial Truth teaches that Mankind is able to overcome the adversity and reach the starts through the power of intellect, science and preseverance.

>> No.17148036


"Germany yuo are nazi"

>> No.17148045


>> No.17148050

It worked for Rasputin.
Too bad it didn't say anything about drowning, though.

>> No.17148057

Hey, I just joined the argument. You've got me mistaken for the guy defending his religion. I think I did the same thing to you, actually.

>> No.17148061

Nation-states and people are not the same thing, anonymous.

>> No.17148071

This is, of course, ignoring the sheer amount of horrific screed that is directly printed IN the New Testament. The standard response to that is to jump to "Metaphor!" or "God said it's good, that's good enough for me!"

I've heard it asserted a few times that such and such verses in the Mosaic code only apply to Israel (say, kosher diets), but such and such verses are an inerrant moral law for all mankind forever (say, homosexuality). This leads to the same problem as the "metaphor" argument: in the vast majority of cases, there is absolutely nothing in the text to suggest which law is which.
There are a few cases where something is explicitly a commandment for just a subset of the people (Such as the Nazarite dedication), so the writers clearly had such a concept, and could have marked laws as "only for certain people" if that WAS their intention.

>> No.17148081

I didn't realize that you reached back some thousands of years to grab an original copy of the Old Testament, and translated it directly into English, perfectly, with no mistakes.

Ignoring the dozens, hundreds, et cetera translations both the Old and New Testament have gone through, the bullshit they had to throw in to attract new worshipers to the faith, the interpretation of a mortal's view of an omnipotent beings words/inspirations, and all the rest of the problems with you applying ancient Jewish law to today's society...

I wouldn't be disagreeing with Jesus because he didn't write the damn thing. To believe that would be foolish.

>time for class

>> No.17148088

Congratulations on helping us argue that your beliefs are bullshit.

>> No.17148093

>I didn't realize that you reached back some thousands of years to grab an original copy of the Old Testament, and translated it directly into English, perfectly, with no mistakes.

Please, share your perfectly and inerrantly translated copy of the old testament with me, since you clearly have one.

>> No.17148144

Huh, that's mysterious. The Christians seem to have disappeared.

>> No.17148150


Hey, me and Carr are trying to settle your little Bible Fight with the Truth here. Quit your yammering and pic related!

>> No.17148151

And so have the actual atheists.

Pagans win by default.

>> No.17148160


>> No.17148202

>follow a religion that's even less consistent than Christianity, in fact to the point where it was drowned out by it in Europe

It's like using some shitty hoodoo voodoo ritual to help with cold when you've got actual working medicine.

Protip: the medicine wasn't an analogy for any religion

>> No.17148206

I sincerely enjoyed this thread, OP. Good going.

>> No.17148212

So, now that the apologist seems to have disappeared, let's get back to the topic:

The Imperial Truth.
Not to be confused with The Imperial Creed, which is basically just a syncretic gestalt of Catholic Emperor Worship and whatever the local belief happened to be.
The Imperial Truth is what the Emperor Himself preached, and it was an entirely optimistic and humanistic faith. In fact, it was a bit TOO secular, because the existence of daemons and magic were the sort of thing you could confirm with experiment. You just SHOULDN'T.
However, as fewer people believed in them, they got less powerful. The Emperor hoped to weaken the Chaos Gods as much as possible by spreading atheism. It's all rather complicated.

>> No.17148213


Religions and peoples are not the same thing, anon.

>> No.17148234

Except I wasn't referring to your religion, moron, but your psychotic god.

>> No.17148266

>It's all rather complicated.

No, no it's not. WH40k metaphysics are pretty goddamn easy to grasp compared to that of some other settings.

>> No.17148273


Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.
(Hebrews 13:8)

He who is the Glory of Israel does not lie or change his mind; for he is not a human being, that he should change his mind.
(1 Samuel 15:29)

>> No.17148285


That's an obvious lie. You don't even believe in god.

>> No.17148292

I don't believe in elves, dragons, or mind flayers, either, but I can talk about how they're represented in books.

>> No.17148303

Confirmed for troll.

You don't have to believe something in order to criticize it by pointing out it's inconsistencies.

>> No.17148310


They are, but fan conjecture often muddles things. For one, any atheism plan would be doomed to failure because Chaos Gods gain their power from emotion, not worship. Atheism would not be enough, 99% of humanity would have to be made into servitors or maybe even every non-pariah should be purged.

>> No.17148371

I'm a Jenova's Witness personally.

>> No.17148372

well, atheism was supposed to inspire rationality and with that things like self-restraint, moral living and all of the good rational building blocks for a society.

Essentially an imposition of moral and social order alongside enlightment would be a powerful blow to the chaos gods, who act on emotion.

>> No.17148387

"It is not Man's place to be equal to God", or something about hubris. Also, more directly, why everyone spoke different languages. That's the mundane purpose for this bit. You have to remember, these early stories were oral folk traditions, not some planned, elaborate narrative, and meant to explain prehistory without any tools to figure it out. They serve a purpose, but to start going all "God done got afraid of the humans invading!" is a bit much, though, after looking up the passage, I can understand that interpretation.

>> No.17148392

>not worshiping the omnissiah
i hope none of you do this

i have to admit talking to the machine spirits of my computer, phone, lawn mower,elevator and other bits of the machine god.

>> No.17148410


Not necessarily. The Imperium even in its pre-heresy stages had all the building blocks that feed the Chaos Gods in the current Imperium, rampant inequality (even Terra had colossal slums where all kinds of wretches hid), warmongering etc.

In fact, is the reasoning behind the Emperor's promotion of atheism ever stated? It could be for any reasons, not to starve the Chaos Gods.

Or the Emperor could just be wrong about the nature of the Gods.

>> No.17148420


Roman Catholics for you.

>> No.17148425


>> No.17148441

>Implying that believing in imaginary beings invented by ancient humans is more valid than believing than imaginary beings invented by modern humans.

>> No.17148446

>Essentially an imposition of moral and social order alongside enlightment would be a powerful blow to the chaos gods, who act on emotion.
Who act on EXCESSIVE emotion, rather. Everyone seems to forget that. I suppose all emotions do empower them to some degree, since they all reflect in the warp, but it's only when it's carried to extremes does it significantly nourish the Ruinous Powers. The Imperial Truth was doubtless intended to provide for an Aristotelian approach to balanced consideration and moderation in all things.

>> No.17148448

well I'm converting

ps have an inflammatory picture

>> No.17148454

>Not dying for Darkseid

>> No.17148470

well, that makes sense. The atttempt for balanced approach would certainly work, but it would take a long time.

>> No.17148480


Oh Darkseid you so evil!

>> No.17148508


Index Malleus, WD 274

>The volcanic caverns of Hnang-Mei, beneath the vast mountains of a region of Terra whose name has long been forgotten, bore witness to what may have been the first recorded instances of daemonic intrusion. Before their destruction during the Great Betrayer's assault on Holy Terra ten thousand years ago, the murals and daubings on the cave walls depicted primitive humans and crude, but unmistakable, images all too familiar to the Daemonhunters of the Ordo Malleus.

Daemons were very active even in the early stages of humanity.

Further, we do not know the reasoning behind the Emperor's atheism policy or if he aimed for moderation (the Primarchs were quite the man-children and he did not care) at all. Then there's the issue of relativity, what if the emotions that constitute as "moderate" for humans are still more than enough for the Chaos gods, and you need to have a dim soul(like Tau), no soul, or be utterly unemotional to not feed them.

>> No.17148512

I'm glad that we've come to an understanding.

>> No.17148523

You know the first Darkseid picture I posted in this thread?

That is my wallpaper.

Every time I close the window after looking at some fetishistic porn or reading terrible threads or everything. I stare into Darkseid's eyes.

And he is not happy.

>> No.17148588

Well, clearly you must start the cult of Darksied to atone.

>> No.17148606


My body is ready.

>> No.17148613


That's because you chose the wrong type of porn.

Also, Emprah Vs. Darkseid, who wins?

>> No.17148809


Hail, fellow follower of the Omnisiah! I regularly talk to my house computers on the basis that they seem to work better for me than anybody else in the house by quite a degree.

>> No.17148842

I work in IT and frequently pray the machine god, generally under my breath so others don't hear, but most of the time it seems to work on spastic issues we don't know how to fix.

>> No.17149454

>Well, somebody had to install that, they don't just "pop up" during normal use.

>> No.17149621

sall ntincro

>> No.17150016

Emprah, natch. It's heresy otherwise.

>> No.17150060


>> No.17150205

Is this a machine spirit thread now?

Something that just happened.
>walking home -- find a bic lighter on the ground
>"Deus Mechanicus. Anima Mechanica, exsuscitare."
>and then there was light
Praise the machine god.

>> No.17150465

>Deepfreeze is on
There's nothing to worry about. Just long press the BIG button (The small button angers the machine spirit if used incorrectly) on the cognitor box and repeat 10 litanies to the Omnissiah.

>> No.17150972

>Computer ceases to function
>Inspect components - power supply fucked itself
>Buy a new one
>Close case, attach everything. fire it up.
>Ceases to turn on.
>Re-disconnect everything, crack open the case, all the connectors are fine.
>Re-hook up.
>Press POWER rune
>Lo and behold, it fucking works.

>> No.17151126

The Rune of Power!

>> No.17151362

Here, I screencapped this for you, /tg/.

>> No.17151514

>A group of people praying to an overpriced product made by people solely out to make money and take advantage of their followers
>Just like Macfags

>> No.17151741

I used to not care about the fluff of 40k. Until now. Ave Imperator, motherfuckers.

>> No.17151857

>2001 Dodge Intrepid, starts overheating bad leave it on side >of road, swear it looks sad.

>Next day come back, turn key, nothing. Can't afford tow to >repair shop. (Next paycheck in a few days)

>Slap palm on dash and yell out in desperation "You have >traveled two hundred and twenty four thousand miles, your >body has shielded me from harm, your heart sped me from >danger, your proud, your strong, this is not your end >OMNIMESSIAH LOOK DOWN UPON YOUR CREATION >AND GIVE IT LIFE!

>With grinding and tearing it starts, and I make it to the >shop. Next day guy calls me and asks how tow truck got it >into that spot, I inform him I drove it, stunned silence then >denial listing all the shit wrong. I just reply with "It's a strong >car."


>> No.17152076

So if we were to base a 'real' religion upon this premise would we still call it the Imperial Creed?

>> No.17152902

Wait. Already mid-december, and NOW is when they celebrate a 13 year old girl getting fucked up and knocked up? What, did she suddenly just explode over a couple of days like in some a tentacle hentai?

>> No.17155849

I think adding some biblical ideas can make fantasy gods much more epic feeling to PCs. But then again, I like any mythological additions to games.

Biblical angels and monsters are good too.

>> No.17155875

i usually just do the same other have done and it works for me...
i don't pray, i don't do silly moves, i just have an aura of repair.

>> No.17155909

We have a thing around here, where during spring, all the high school seniors have a sort of costume party for the day and run around the schools causing havoc and shit.

One group of dudes, ages ago, dressed as Chaos cultists and went from class to class to teach the ways of Chaos.

>> No.17155930

>ITT: Infidels

>> No.17159457

I made a prayer to the Omnissiah during a game of HVZ when my high-volt Barricade jammed. Somehow, I squeezed the trigger enough to push the jammed dart forward enough to be caught in the flywheels and blast a zombie in the face. I had to shoot him in the gut for it to count, but I thank the Omnissiah for watching over me.

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