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17124850 No.17124850 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Greetings loyalists!

My name is Araghast, and I deeply hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, loyalists who spend every second of their day praising your god emperor! You are everything bad on that planet. None of you shall achieve the lusts of our God, Slaanesh, and aquire pussy. I mean, It is not necessary to sit behind a machine that should serve you, and amuse yourselves over images, wich is even worse then using an machine-application called Facebook, and unload your precious gene-seed upon image's the machine possesses.

Don't be a weakling. Just shoot me with your best shot. I am perfect. I was captain of the Black Legion, and slaughtered the Blood Ravens. What have you physically aquired, other then whatever your weak bodies can sustain? I also get a lot of gifts of my Gods, and have a servant wich I can give any order. (He just betrayed me; I had to murder him, was SO much fun).. You are all loyalists who don't deserve to exist. Thanks for listening.

Pic related, it's me and my bitch.

>> No.17125213

Oh tarnation, I have been told.

>> No.17125222

>shitty meme
>plus shitty product
>300+ posts

ohboyherewego.jpg

>> No.17125224

laughingEliphasgirls.jpg

>> No.17125229
File: 131 KB, 522x705, Eliphas_Inheritor.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17125229

What the fuck did you just call me?

>> No.17125237
File: 50 KB, 500x500, Chaos, Fuck Yeah!.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17125237

>implying there are any loyalists here
You're preaching to the quire, you filthy old bastard.

>> No.17125239

Asexual here. Why should I care about this "Slaanesh"? I've been serving the God-Emperor, and been rewarded for it with security and a good life, while all you get is some fleeting sexual pleasure and never knowing where your next meal comes from.

>> No.17125248
File: 17 KB, 140x140, Abaddon.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17125248

>>17125229
>>17124850
You both are my bitches.

YOU BETTER REMEMBER THAT!

>> No.17125251

>>17125239

Security is a crutch and excuse to be weak.

Real living is never knowing where your next meal comes from, or in what form your prey will take.

>> No.17125256

>>17125251
Well, I'm a weak person, then. I'm okay with that. It makes me happy.

Again, what does this Slaanesh offer?

>> No.17125278

>>17125256
Dicks. Dicks everywhere. And drugs lined upon those.

>> No.17125283

>>17125278

And if none of those things excite you in any way?

>> No.17125284
File: 8 KB, 245x205, images.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17125284

>>17125248
'sup bro?
heard you were looking for these

>> No.17125296

>>17125278
Not interested in dicks. As mentioned, asexual; dicks are pretty on their own merits, but hardly worth pursuing, much like tits.

As for drugs, maybe in moderation. I'd hate to lose the natural happiness that life brings to an addiction that leaves life hollow.

>> No.17125305

>>17125283
Slaanesh is the God of pleasure.
Slaanesh does not care where your pleasure comes from, only that you indulge in it.
A worshipper of Slaanesh could just as easily be a master chef, aiming to create the greatest meal possible, or a painter wishing to create great works of art.
The trouble is that the sex and drug-crazed cultist give the rest of us a bad name.

Now, care for a glass of wine?

>> No.17125311

>>17125305

What if I indulge myself in withholding indulgences?

>> No.17125318

>>17125296
>>17125283
Then perhaps one of our other Chaos Gods would be more to your liking.
Tzeentch! Become sorcerer supreme! unlimited power and knowledge at your fingertips!
Khorne! Crush all your enemies before you and hear the lamentation of their women!
Nurgle! Have no fear of dying! What are other mortals to you when you can shake off an auto cannon shell?

>> No.17125324

>>17125311
Slaanesh appears and kicks you in the balls for trying to lawyer your way into his/her favor.

>> No.17125335

>>17125318
> Unlimited knowledge
who would WANT this? To lose the simple joy of grasping something you previously didn't understand, to no longer have the enjoyment of research and study?
> Crush all your enemies before you and hear the lamentation of their women!
And in no way, shape or form be proven right, only lose opposition. I'll settle for having enemies that challenge me, thank you.
> What are other mortals to you when you can shake off an auto cannon shell?
Why the fuck would I ever be in front of an autocannon shell to begin with? What's WRONG with you people?

>> No.17125337

>>17125324
And then Tzeentch pats you on the head for your good idea, then slaps you for how you executed it.

>> No.17125342

I read "loyalists" and thought this was going to be a Changeling thread.

Sigh.

>> No.17125343

>>17125311
then you're... loyalist scum?

>> No.17125347
File: 75 KB, 337x503, Changeling.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17125347

>>17125342
>Changeling.

You called, anon?

>> No.17125352

>>17125318
>Khorne! Crush all your enemies before you and hear the lamentation of their women!

I'm in.

>> No.17125354
File: 62 KB, 370x278, criminalscumunedited.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17125354

>>17125343

>> No.17125361
File: 173 KB, 760x596, sooth.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17125361

>>17125311

>> No.17125375

>>17125361

That was actually what was on my mind when I typed it out, ha ha.

>> No.17125412
File: 56 KB, 344x508, Abaddon_the_Despoiler2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17125412

Finally, someone made a good use of this meme.
>>17125284
FUKKEN XENNNOOOOOOOOS!

>> No.17125435

>>17125311
"The only thing I practice in moderation is moderation."
-Slaanesh

>> No.17125447

>>17125318
> Nurgle! Have no fear of dying! What are other mortals to you when you can shake off an auto cannon shell?

"Hey there, culsts and cult-ists! Have you Ever worried about this happening to you?"

Slow zoom over a battlefield, the forces of chaos fighting against imperial guardsmen. A cultist with a slaaneshi icon charges a gun emplacement, grenade in hand, only to be turned to gibs.

"We-he-hell, now you don't have to, with the power of Nurgle! Yes, Nurgle, the God of love and endurance. He Cares!"

Same scene, with a Nurgle-marked cultist. The shot bounces off of him in an obviously fake manner, and his grenade takes out the emplacement in a single glorious burst.

"That's right! With Nurgle, the God of Pestilence, you can get endurance beyond your wildest dreams! Shrug off autocannons! Ignore small arms fire like it wasn't there! Absorb blows from even the strongest of Space Marines!"

A loyalist marine tries to cut the cultist from before. His sword gets stuck in the cultist's side, chainteeth revving to no avail.

>> No.17125449

>>17125311

Then you sound like an exceptionally boring person. Perfect recruit for the meat-grinder. And none shall mourne, or even notice, your passing.

>> No.17125474

>>17125318
> Nurgle! Have no fear of dying! What are other mortals to you when you can shake off an auto cannon shell?

"Hey there, cults and cult-ists! Have you Ever worried about this happening to you?"

Slow zoom over a battlefield, the forces of chaos fighting against imperial guardsmen. A cultist with a slaaneshi icon charges a gun emplacement, grenade in hand, only to be turned to gibs.

"We-he-hell, now you don't have to, with the power of Nurgle! Yes, Nurgle, the God of love and endurance. He Cares!"

Same scene, with a Nurgle-marked cultist. The shot bounces off of him in an obviously fake manner, and his grenade takes out the emplacement in a single glorious burst.

"That's right! With Nurgle, the God of Pestilence, you can get endurance beyond your wildest dreams! Shrug off autocannons! Ignore small arms fire like it wasn't there! Absorb blows from even the strongest of Space Marines!"

A loyalist marine tries to cut the cultist from before. His sword gets stuck in the cultist's side, chainteeth revving to no avail.

"Nurgle is fun for the whole family! Not like some other gods, who would demand you sacrifice them all in his name. All Nurgle wants is their love!"

A pox-ridden family turn around and flash sickly-yellow smiles, giving the camera a thumbs-up.

"Tired of biological warfare? Sick of worrying about poison gasses? With Nurgle, you'll be the one delivering the noxious clouds!"

> pffffrt!
> "scuse me."

"Ha-ha, what a kidder. So, try Nurgle today!"

>> No.17125476

Are chaos marines actually dead? Undead? Ectoplasm inhabiting living armor? Living, but horribly mutated?

I mean as far as chaos undivided goes. Has their existence in the warp made them something other than living/dead?

>> No.17125479

>>17125237
>quire
Choir. A quire is 24 sheets of paper, or a set of papers being prepared for printing that are in the proper oder to be bound into a book.

>> No.17125480

>>17125476
Depends on the Legion and the individual. It's remarkably hard to boilerplate chaos.

>> No.17125494

>>17125476
Most of them are "alive" from a biological standpoint. Of course, many of them have been killed only to be brought back by the Dark Gods.

Only the Thousand Sons are really dead, being spirits bound to their armor.

>> No.17125512

>>17125494

Not all of the Thousand Sons are, though. Just their Rubric Marines.

>> No.17125526
File: 759 KB, 1074x724, Nurgle.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17125526

>>17125474
Hello Khornates.
Look at your champion, now back to me, now back to your champion, now back to me.
Sadly, he isn't me. But if he stopped using pyscho scented khorne whorship, he might be alive like me.
Look down, back up, where are you? You're still alive, with the Nurglite your champion could be like. What's in your hand, back at me. I have it, it's a gift from Nurgle you've always wanted. Look again, the gift is now a Daemonsword.
Anything is possible when your champion worships Nurgle and not Khorne.
I'm in the warp.

>> No.17125528
File: 587 KB, 1024x1609, warhammer_monthly_daemonifuge_book_ii_gn_(wapazoid)_023.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17125528

True Slaanesh worshipers have no need for eyes.

>> No.17125577

>>17125528

... that face makes me feal... compleate.

>> No.17125615
File: 15 KB, 400x300, 311960.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17125615

>>17125474
You have been selected to join our god, Nurgle, in the Long War!

>> No.17125620

>>17125526
Well thrown. I actually don't have a counter for that.

>> No.17125694
File: 575 KB, 863x1200, Kharn_fun_guy.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17125694

>>17125526
>implying I can't do better
GREETINGS BLOODBAGS!
LOOK AT YOUR CHAMPION! NOW BACK TO ME! NOW BACK TO YOUR CHAMPION! NOW BACK TO ME!
SADLY, HE ISN'T ME! BUT IF HE STOPPED BEING SUCH A PATHETIC WORM AND FOLLOWING THE LESSER GODS, HE MIGHT BE A PRETTY COOL GUY LIKE ME!
LOOK DOWN, BACK UP, WHY AREN'T WE KILLING YET?!? YOU'RE IN BATTLE, WITH THE CHAMPION WHO'S GOING TO KILL YOU IF HE RUNS OUT OF ENEMIES! WHAT'S IN YOUR HAND?!? BACK AT ME! THE TROPHY IS MINE!! YOU WANT THIS WORTHLESS TRINKET??! LOOK AGAIN! THE TRINKET IS NOW BLOOD!
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! BLOODFOR THEBLOODGOD! BLOODFORTHEBLOODGODARSGGGHGHFLRRGH!
I'M ON A SKULL THRONE.

>> No.17125749

>>17125694

Kharn has pigtails.
Your argument is invalid.

All glory to Nurgle.

>> No.17125751
File: 145 KB, 924x860, 1316451582917.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17125751

>> No.17125764
File: 98 KB, 350x171, 350px-Gabriel_Angelos.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17125764

>>17125694
Now bringing up Kharn just ain't fair. He is a pretty fun guy after all.

But I think I can go one better.

Hello Brothers, look at your wargear, now back to your back gear, back to me.
Sadly, your wargear is gone.....

Bye.

>> No.17125777

>>17125764

>sadly, you gifted it all...

ftfy

>> No.17125785
File: 37 KB, 510x546, wh40kbloodravensgiftedc.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17125785

>>17125777
*ahem*
of course brother.
Thank you for the correction

>> No.17125795
File: 817 KB, 1000x707, 1298841523667.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17125795

GREETING 'UMIES

ALL OF YOUS ARE DUM

WRAARGH!

>> No.17125814
File: 192 KB, 767x1251, kharn the betrayer.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17125814

>>17125749
THEY ARE NOT PIGTAILS.

THEY ARE TASSELS, YOU IGNORANT ROTTING FUCK.

>> No.17125844
File: 16 KB, 200x200, Araghast.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17125844

FAGGOTS, HEAR ME!
I AM ARAGHAST THE PILLAGER, MASTER OF HOUNDS, LASH OF THE BLACK LEGION AND I HATE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU. YOU AND ALL YOUR KIND ARE COWARDS, LOWLY LICKSPITTLES WHO SPEND EVERY SECOND OF THEIR DAY EMULATING THAT PILE OF BONES YOU CALL AN EMPEROR. YOU ARE EVERYTHING BAD IN THE GALAXY. TRULY, HAVE ANY OF YOU EVEN DESTROYED 1000 WORLDS? I MEAN, I GUESS IT'S FUN MAKING FUN OF PEOPLE BECAUSE OF YOUR OWN INSECURITIES, BUT YOU ALL TAKE TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL. THIS IS EVEN WORSE THAN JERKING OFF TO PICTURES OF ELDAR.
DON'T BE A STRANGER. JUST HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT. I'M PRETTY MUCH PERFECT. I WAS CAPTAIN OF THE FIRST COMPANY, AND MASTER OF MY WARBAND. WHAT FORCES DO YOU LEAD, OTHER THAN STEVE BLUM? I ALSO GET DUAL LIGHTNING CLAWS AND HAVE A FUCKING AWESOME SIDEKICK (HE JUST BETRAYED ME; SHIT WAS NOT CASH). YOU ARE ALL MEWLING COWARDS WHO SHOULD JUST KILL YOURSELVES. THANKS FOR LISTENING.

>> No.17125856

>>17125814

What ever you say Kharn. Or should I say, Kharen? *wink wink nudge nudge*

>> No.17125881

>>17125856

Is Khorne cool with Psykers? I don't think he is, but you're lucky Kharne can't just hate you to death as other people in universe can.

>> No.17125886

>>17125844
haven't you heard?
We're all Steve Blum.
Me, you, abaddon, the Emprah, everyone.

>> No.17125910

>>17125886
Steve Blum is Alpharius.

>> No.17125916

>>17125881

It's probably a good thing he can't, or he'd likely be the only Chaos god left. No one can hate something as much as Khorne can.

>> No.17125930

>>17125916
Slaanesh can, as that's an excess.

>> No.17125949

Can I get a picture of a famous chef stirring some cake mix and the caption:

"The recipe calls for 1 cup of sugar, but I like to put two 2 cups."

And a slaaneshi symbol somewhere nondescript?

>> No.17125989

>>17125930

He can't be for everything, though. I mean Khorne and Tzeentch are both about excess, just very specific types of excess. I'd assume Slaanesh is all about excesses not already taken up by the other Gods.

>> No.17126023

>>17125989

Sure s/he can. It goes like this.

Angry in Excess? Who got to you first? Khorne/Slaanesh

Knowledge in Excess? Who got to you first? Tzeentch/Slaanesh

Anything in Excess? Slaanesh.

If you are angry in excess you have a "choice" between khorne and slaanesh. But if slaanesh gets there first, you'll be angry in Slaanesh's name. You may want to move to khorne though depending on the promises and if the option is still even available after the fact.

>> No.17126028

>>17125881
>>17125881
Khorne is cool with Psykers as long as they are cool and badass like Librarians or Rune priests since you are in the frontline, killing shit with sword and lightning. If you are a cunning coward who stays behind, and whispers "Just as planned" then, my friend, I have some bad news for you.

>> No.17126073

>>17126023

I see Slaanesh laying claim to those excesses, and the original Gods just patting it on the head saying "Aw, how cute. It just tries so hard."

>> No.17126199

>>17126073
I see Slaanesh like that guy, you all know him, who looks through all the books, come up with every exploit he can and minmaxes his character only for the other players and/or the DM to bitchslap him back into place

>> No.17126217

>>17126199

Really? That's how I'd see the other Chaos Gods relatively. They pigeon-hole one trait while Slaanesh is of a broader stock.

>> No.17126250

>>17126217
>They pigeon-hole one trait while Slaanesh is of a broader stock.

That just screams That Guy complaining about how nobody understands his precious rainbowed colored butterfly.

>Can you believe that Paladin? Only ever does good and prevents others from doing anything evil? LAME.
>Look at that Wizard. Nothing but magic. Why doesn't he just enchant a gigantic sword so that he can maul their faces up front?

>> No.17126260

>>17126217
nah, The other Gods are RPing their characters, which are specialised but with definite limits and clear roles. They're in the middle of their campaign, when this little asshole comes and joins them.
At first they're pretty tolerant untill suddenly the little bastard starts turning into the barrack room Lawyer.
"bro, he's clearly obsessed with knowledge, that's my turf"
"NO LOL! according to this here, lust for knowledge is excess and he's mine now!"
"for fucks sake bro, that's clearly against the feel of the game"
"not according to the rules lol! and by the way, that battle obsessed guy is mine now Khorne!!!"

That's just my interpretation anyway.

>> No.17126584

>>17126260
>>17126250

Pretty much this, yeah.

>> No.17127272
File: 268 KB, 1378x1702, Chaos_shitstorm.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17127272

OP here, I left this thread hours ago, and now I'm back and see this.
Lol'd so made screencap of favourite captions.
Enjoy!

>> No.17127324

>>17127272
It was a good thread, OP.

Fun times were had by all.

>> No.17127515

>>17126584
>>17126260
These players and their GM Kris are considered so bad, that the room they commandeered for the game is now known as the Eye of Terror by the other denizens of the Malestrom Games and Hobbies store.

>> No.17127534

>>17127515
Oh god, the stench Nurgle's player must cause...

>> No.17127874

>>17127515
Maelstrom as in the one in Mansfield, United Kingdom, Maelstrom?

>> No.17127939
File: 55 KB, 194x197, 1295289606878.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17127939

"I feel the warp overtaking me..."

>> No.17128548

>>17127874
Not the guy you were asking, but I play Pathfinder on tuesdays at Maelstrom. Small world!

Sage for unrelated

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