/tg/ - Traditional Games

The Last Danca has just barely pulled into the launch bay. The engine creaking is drowned out by the post-fight ruckus from the rest of the krew.

"Owi....da ship aint lookin' gud..." mutters 'Eadmangla.
"WE NEED TA FIX DA SHIP." declares Wazgor.

Amongst the post-fight jubilations and the live performance by Deffrokk, the voxcaster suddenly starts blasting.
"Oy, boss!" yells Uzgob, "Skanna Jamma picked up sumfin'. Dis wun'z...weird."
"Itz alwayz weird." sighs Grakgut, "Alwayz. Evrytoime."
"Uzgob, 'ow come you ain't fixin' da Krooza?" asks Wazgor.
"Uh, cuz ya didn't tell me to, boss!" says Uzgob.
"Itz called eeneesheetiv! Yooze shuld fix it witout us tellin' ya!" says Grakgut, "Wutz da Skanna Jamma sayin' anywayz?"
"I'll see wot I kan do wit' da krooza, but don' expect a mirakul!" says Uzgob, "I'll leave da message up for ya in da mekbay."

Kroz goes down to assist Uzgob with emergency repairs, which is quite successful, bringing them up 29 hull from 15/85.
"DOZ I GOTS TA DO ALL DA FIXIN MESELF? IZ GOT BIGGA FINGS TA GUBBINZ WIT! ... OI... GUBBINZ. DAT KUD BE GUD..." says Kroz as he goes off on a tangent.

'Eadmangla heads down to the loot bayz and practices with Dak, his grot. Grakgut heads over to the Mekbay and hits the Skanna Jamma until it plays its message.

"Ah, Catalyst Station, you must be jealous now, eh?" says a pompous sounding voice, "To think that I, the governor of Orvana could acquire such a relic before you!"
"Dis git's tauntin da kwizitors?" asks Grakgut, perplexed.
"If you want to behold it, come to my party! We started three days ago, and we're not stopping any time soon!" says the voice.
"Oy, dis git..." starts Grakgut.
"Wait...da ship's berfday!" yells Wazgor.
"If you want to behold it, come to my party! We started three days ago, and we're not stopping any time soon!" says the Governor's voice.
"Trowin' a pahtey fer our ship an' ain't invited uz!" yells Grakgut, indignant.
"'Ow dare 'e!" agrees Wazgor.
"I think this proves who's the best treasure hunte-...wait, what's happening?" the governor yells.
"Wut..." says Grakgut.
Festivities turn to screaming...and buzzing. "Oh God Emperor they're everywhere! They're killing us! They're-blargh."
"WE MISSED DA BEST PART UV DA PAHTEY!" yells Wazgor.

Grakgut runs to the voxcasters. "ALL YA GITZ GET IN LINE. SUM 'UMIEZ IZ 'AVIN A PAHTEY FER DA SHIP AN' DIDN'T INVOITE US. OR DA SHIP." He pauses a moment. "WEZE GUNNA BRING DA SHIP TO DAT PAHTEY!"
"Wotz dis 'bot a pahtey?" asks Kroz, walking in.
"Sum 'umies are 'avin' a pahtey fer da krooza." says Grakgut, "An' fergot ta invite us...an' da krooza."
"'ow ya know it'z fer da krooza? " asks Kroz.
"Duh. It's da krooza's berfday!" says Wazgor.
"Dere wuz skreamin'." adds Grakgut.
"Dere'z always skreamin' if dere'z a pahtey, dats nuffin' new." notes Kroz.
"Yeah...but da skreamin' meanz dat it wuz a gud pahtey, an' we ain't dere." says Grakgut.
"Well, if it'z a gud 'nuff pahtey, dats gud 'nuff fer me. Almos' at da bridge!" yells Kroz.

Kroz hits da big red button, and propels Da Looted Krooza through the Warp. The trip is estimated to be about 5 days. While in the painbay, Grakgut and Wazgor see something odd. A blinding flash of light, followed by...
"YOU'ZE MUCKIN' ABOUT!"
"I AIN'T MUCKIN' ABOUT. YOU IZ." replies Grakgut.
The Ghost of Skarfang's Head materializes.
"YA GIT. YOU'ZE DED." says Grakgut.
"I'Z TOLD YA, I WUZ A BETTA BOSS DEN YOUZE!" retorts the Ghost of Skarfang's Head.
"GO AN' STAY DED!" replies Grakgut.
"NO." says the Ghost of Skarfang's Head.
"SEE?" the Ghost of Skarfang's Head laughs, "KAN'T EVEN SMACK ME!" as Grakgut misses a punch.
"SUM BOSS YOU'ZE IZ!" taunts the Ghost of Skarfang's Head as Wazgor misses a punch.
"Grakgut, why we ain't hittin'?" asks Wazgor.
"Oi dunno. Dis git'z as tricky as evah!" replies Wazgor. They both manage to land a punch and force the ghost through a bulkhead.
"YOU ZOGGIN' GIIIITS!" yells the Ghost of Skarfang's Head as it flies off due to the punches.

"I ain't lettin' dis git get away!" declares Grakgut. He grabs Skarfang's (corporeal) head out of a nearby bitz box.
"Oh no boss! Me, Skarfang iz a ded an' weedy git!" Grakgut pantomimes with the head like a puppet. "DATS ROIGHT! BUT YOO WON'T BE DED FER LONG!"
Grakgut finds a nearby potato and connects Skarfang's head to it. He passes a -40 Medicae test (which I secretly changed to a -60 Medicae but he passed anyway with a goddamn 007).
"GIIIITS! ZOGGIN'! YOU!" yells Skarfang as his warp ghost is pulled back into his head.

"HAHAHAHA!" gloats Grakgut, "NOW YOUZE AIN'T DED NO MORE! AN' YOOZE TINIAH DEN DA SMALLEST GROT!"
"WELL, YOU'ZE STILL A GIT!" says Skarfang's Head.
Grakgut puts the head in a terrarium. "Now yooze git ta stay aloive an' see 'ow much bettah Oi am den yooze!"
"HA! NOW I KAN TAUNT YA WHENEVA I WANT!" says Skarfang's Head, "NOW GET OVA 'ERE SO I KAN TAUNT YA A SECOND TIME!"

Meanwhile, on the bridge, Kroz is visitated by Uzgob.

"Ya know, boss, dere's sumfin' odd about da krooza..." says Uzgob, "Ya eva jus' walked down da krooza halls?"
"eh? Dats wot clarence is for aint'it?" replies Kroz, "Sometimes I walk 'round and fink, but dats mostly in circles"
"I'z jus' sayin'. Da ship's perfektly sym...simme...da same on both sides." notes Uzgob, "An' itz divided cleanly down da centa."
"Dats kuz derez pieces on da left, and derez pieces on da roight. weeze gots da same gubbinz dun'we?" says Kroz.
"Yeah, boss, but I fink dat ain't da whole story..." replies Uzgob "Some of da doors kan even lock down real tight, an' dey ain't even near da outside!"
"DATS GUD! WHEN WEEZE GETS BOARDED, WEEZE CAN CLOSE'EM UP BEHIND'EM SO DEYZ IZ FORCED TA KEEP FOIGHTIN!" yells Kroz enthusiastically.
"Dis krooza...dis krooza's waitin' fer sumfin'." Uzgob muses, "I'z not sure wot, but dere's definitely sumfin' special about it."
"Like wot?" asks Kroz.
"I'z...not sure, boss." says Uzgob, "but if I figure it out, I'z tell ya."
Uzgob walks out while Kroz ponders this new information...maybe putting a bigger gun down the center.

Back in the Mekbay, Wazgor, Grakgut, and 'Eadmangla get to work on making party dresses to wear over armor.

"Oi, komputah! Wotz proppa 'umie wear?" asks Grakgut.
The monitor is more or less a cracked screen with a grot inside. The scared grot hands Grakgut and Wazgor a picture of 'umies in dresses and suits.
"An' why'z sum uv'em be wearin' diffrent tings?" asks Grakgut.
"Da female 'umie dressez show lotsa gubbinz! It must make'em 'arder!" notes Wazgor.
"Maybe we shuld wear both?" asks Grakgut.
"YAH, WEAR BOTH! LIKE A PANSY GROT!" says Skarfang's head, "KAN'T EVEN MAKE UP YER MIND LIKE A BOSS!"
"Shutup!" retorts Grakgut, "We'ze gunna wear deze...dresses!"
Grakgut struggles and fails over the three days to make dresses.
"HA! MUCKIN' ABOUT WIF 'UMIE RAGS!" says Skarfang's head, "KAN'T EVEN DO DAT RIGHT!"
Wazgor, however, has much more luck. He successfully crafts dresses for everyone. 'Eadmangla takes things into his own hands and makes a ghillie suit for himself.
"Not enuff skullz." notes Grakgut, "Add like a hundred."
Kroz decides to not dress in drag like half the krew and instead wear just his armor.
"YOU'ZE ALL LOOK LIKE SQUIGS!" yells Skarfang's Head.

The Krooza begins shuddering as the kill team exits the warp over the world of Orvana. It appears to be a heavily populated hive world.
"... RETURNIN TA NORMAL SPESS. NOW WHOZE GUNNA TELL ME WOTS ALL DIS ABOUT A PARTY, CUZ DEM IZ LIGHTS EVERYWHERE DOWN'ERE!" yells Kroz.
"Got yer party roight 'ere, boss!" says Uzgob, "da biggest spire!"

Everyone reaches the Last Danca in a timely manner. Boldo dashes in as the door closes. Grakgut arranges his hairsquigs into a beehive instead of a dreadlock pattern, while Wazgor plays around with paint squigs on his face. Boldo lands on Wazgor's face for a bit, which smears a bit of the red paint, and then flutters over onto Kroz's head. The Last Danca is shot out of the launch bay, and the Krooza starts launchin' its rokk pods. Some are even heading in the direction of the Governor spire! The air is somewhat toxic, and the clouds corrosive, but the kill team flies through and lands nicely on a governatorial landing pad. The Kill team steps off and looks around to find the pad deserted. The doors of the building are huge and carved, though the acid rain is doing slow damage to it.

"Bet dis iz a sahprize pahtey." notes Grakgut.
"sah-prize?" asks Wazgor.
"Loik wen a kommando jumps out an' killz a buncha gitz." replies Grakgut, "But less killin'."

The kill team actually knocks on the door. There is no response, though the door slowly creaks open. Walking in, everyone fails Awareness.
"'ELLO? WEZE 'ERE FER DA PAHTEY." says Grakgut.
"GRAKGUT, ITS SPOSED TA BE A SA-PRIZE!" yells Wazgor.
"Oh! Roight!" Grakgut remembers, "WEZE AIN' 'ERE FER NO PAHTEY."

The Kill Teams' voices echo as they head deeper in.
"Everyfingz ded. Da party'z loike... ovah or somefin." says Kroz.

Continuing through the halls, the kill team sees a spiral staircase extending up on the right, and on the left, a blue light...and a very familiar figure.
"Got a selection of good things on sale, stranger!" says the Merchant.

Kroz acquires some good quality Kortex Implants. Wazgor gets some Mek Speshul Powa Armor. Grakgut secures ship repairs, while 'Eadmangla nicks a best-quality Lascannon. They fail, however, to acquire a power ram.

"WAIT, YOU DON'T WANT TO STAY FUR DA PARTY?" yells Wazgor as the Merchant leaves, "I KAN MAKE YA A DRESS!"
"'ez alreddy in a dress, Wazgor." notes Grakgut.
"it'z not as gud as mine." mutters Wazgor.

Walking up the stairs, the kill team enters the residential quarters of the governor's mansion. Entering the quarters, Wazgor notes the large seeming ballroom. This must be where the party is.
"GRAKGUT!" yells Wazgor, "I FOUN' DA PAHTEY!"
Kroz notes that this must be where the party WAS. There's blood everywhere, and some fire and rubble.
"WE'ZE MISSED IT..." says Kroz.
And Grakgut....Grakgut notes that despite all the blood...there's no bodies.

Heading into the Governor's Hall, the kill team sees more blood, no bodies, and in the far end of the room, about 20m out, a huge stained glass window. Below this window are two things. One is the planetary governor's body. The other is a large black sarcophagus.

"Oi. dat fing. Ken we putz dat on da krooza?" asks Kroz.

As the kill team approaches, the governor's body suddenly twitches.

"... Wotz dat... ah. eez still movin'!" says Kroz.
"Ah! Dis git ain't ded!" yells Grakgut.

Burrowing out of the corpse is a tiny silver insectoid construct.

"Uh...dat dun look like a present..." says 'Eadmangla.

The tiny construct starts making strange staticy chittering noise. Boldo suddenly starts chirping and flying around. Grakgut and Wazgor walk over and attempt to crush the tiny construct, and while it dodges them at first it eventually falls to their boot. Then the party looks up to see they are SURROUNDED by the silver constructs.

>>17031376
oh, Drone, you again!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fiDTKAgGxZ8

The Scarabs suddenly begin flying in a whirlwind pattern.
"I see more of you have come..." echoes a voice.
"Yeah, to da pahtey!" says Grakgut enthusiastically.
"Dis box fer us?" asks Kroz.
"You of the Enfleshed are all the same..." says the voice.
"Oi fink 'e just called us 'umies." whispers 'Eadmangla.
"The first Enfleshed sought to display me. He considered me nothing more than an art piece..." says the voice, "To think, he called me his Honored dead..."
The cloud of scarabs begins to circle the party.
"How delicious their screams were! It was so enjoyable to reduce them to their constituent elements..." the voice says, "Come, Enfleshed, and feel the fury of Khepri the Transforming Strength!"
The Scarabs suddenly coalesce into a vaguely humanoid form, wielding a massive shield and a fanned sword.
"You'ze do scoince? We'ze kan use a scoince box!" yells Kroz excitedly, "You'ze kan get krumped, an' we get yer box!"
"Then let us commence our pleasantries!" Khepri yells.

The Necron Overlord, Khepri the Transforming Strength, was not difficult because of his weapons, no. They were only half the story. He was difficult because while he attacked as a single entity (attacks can be dodged, shielded, etc), his body was a Magnitude 30 Horde of Scarabs (and took damage like one). The players certainly had to watch out for friendly fire, and became their biggest threat to each other. After all, a Dispersion Shield tends to do that. Khepri's Void Blade was also no slouch, with its Entropic Strike ability sapping the players' armor (and dustifying their dresses, to Wazgor's horror). If cornered, Khepri would simply dissipate into scarab form and reconvene in a more favorable position, be it into melee, or meters in the air.

It takes the entire party to focus fire onto Khepri, and it is 'Eadmangla's shot that finally destroys the Overlord. Khepri screams a robotic shriek, and then explodes in a flash of light.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLYnJldPYTA

All that is left of Khepri is a few Scarabs, which the players turn into a turkeyshoot. While the remains of the scarabs phase out, Khepri's weapons clang to the ground.

"Letz git back. Deres nuffin ta fix." says Grakgut. The players grab everything shiny in the Governor's quarters, grab the weapons, toss it all into the sarcophagus, and then bolt out of the complex, hefting the Sarcophagus.

"IZ BEEN A LONG TIME, BUT FINALLY, DA PILOT CHAIR ON DA LOOTED KROOZA IZ GUNNA HAVE A GUD BAK." declares Kroz.

The trip back is relatively quick, much merriment shared from the fight, and much mourning for the lost dresses. As the kill team lands, and Boldo flies out of the Danca, Uzgob runs up.
"Boss! Bridge detected sumfin'!" yells Uzgob.
"Wut?" asks Grakgut.
"Dunno! We din't see nuffin!" replies Uzgob.

>>17031376
IT BEGINS

Going through the sarcophagus, 'Eadmangla takes some little ankhs of Khepri's dynasty, and Kroz begins moving the Sarcophagus behind his pilot seat.

"Maybe if I crack it 'ere, so dis back part comes up, so iz like... a hammock AND a box AND a pilot seat...yeah!" says Kroz happily.

All of a sudden, the Krooza searchy gubbins start flashing. The Krooza comms pick something up.

"WOT?" yells Kroz.
"Wow, Deathwatch, you can be really hard to find sometimes!" says a voice the kill team recognizes, "Luckily I know just where to look!"

Outside the windows of the bridge, the kill team sees the gilded form of Studio 69 uncloak and hold position directly in front of Da Looted Krooza.

We called the session there.

I believe the experiment with Khepri went quite well, though his situation will be difficult to duplicate. My players also fought each other to loot the Dispersion Shield, while the Void Blade was passed around like a hot potato.

Also, Warp visitations are best visitations.

>>17031477

>cliffhanger

YOU FUCK

>>17031558

I don't have time to tell the story of Session 10 tonight. I need to continue with my work.

>>17031558

I don't have time to tell the story of Session 10 tonight, unfortunately. I need to continue with my work.

I will tell it tomorrow at the same time as always (9:30 PM EST)

>>17031428

>his body was a Magnitude 30 Horde of Scarabs

how does that even work

>>17031676

Well, any idiot can fight a Necron Overlord. It's quite passe. But an Overlord made of Scarabs? Certainly sticks out in your memory.

No one commented on our dressed? We worked very hard on those ;_;

>>17032344

Well, because bringing a disembodied head back to life is a lot more strange than some crossdressing orks.

>>17032379

Shas'o runs really strange games.

>>17032379
No one commented on that either. I worked really hard on that ;_;

Late Night Bump

I missed a few session reports. How is it that Skarfang became the ghost of a disembodied head?