/tg/ - Traditional Games

As Inquisitor Doggfather's shuttle heads to Catalyst Station, above the world of Cataclysm, the players consider what to do next. "Eadmangla is mounting the Chykkaguirus corpse to the wall of the bridge, Wurrza is coming off a squig acid trip, and Kroz is attaching spikes to the GO button so nobody else can touch it.

"Oi, you lads tink dat dey got any gud loot on dat station?" asks Grakgut.
"Wot say we hail them and take an order?" poses Wurrza.
"... You fink maybe all dem 'umies iz as smurt as dat inky zishun nob?" asks Kroz.
"Prolly not. 'umies iz stoopid." says Grakgut, "Tiny 'eads. Tiny... finkin' bitz. Not like orkz! Wez gots big 'eads, wez kunnin'!"
"Gud logik," says 'Eadmangla.
"Dem gits on dat station ain't dat bright." says Uzgob, "Trust me, Me previous krew didn't 'ave much trouble sneakin' in, an' dey wuz 'umies!"
"...previous krew?" asks Grakgut.
"Now dat'z interestin'..." says Kroz.
"Hurr hurr...a story for anuvva time, boss..." says Uzgob.
"So call da station! Lets go see da 'umiez in deyz natooral 'abitat." says Grakgut as he begins to walk off toward the launch bays.

As the kill team makes their way down to the Launch bays, Wurrza makes psyniscience. Passing, he picks up signals that Catalyst Station just received something really important, though details are hush hush. Grakgut starts a conversation with Clarence.

"Why iz 'umiez alwayz askin' fer 'elp? Dey kallin' us all da time!" says Grakgut, "'umiez need ta git 'arder!"
"Your average human is tiny and weak. They don't have the innate toughness or strength an Ork does." says Clarence, "So naturally they look to bigger things for help."
"A git iz only az gud az da 'elp 'e kan give. If yoo iz kallin' fer 'elp, den yooze ain't doin' nuffin'. Yoo iz muckin' about if ya do dat all da time! So's da best fing ta do sumtimez iz ta let dem 'elp demselves!"
"Ah, but consider this, boss." says Clarence, "An ork takes a plasma shot, it itches, he gets angry, gets stronger, and krumps the git who shot him. A human takes plasma, he dies painfully, with no chance of reprisal."
"Dats... sumfin ta tink about, Clarence." says Grakgut, "Oi want ta 'elp deze 'umies. By teachin' dem TA STOP MUCKIN' ABOUT AN' GIT 'ARDER!"

I am monitoring this thread

In the Launch Bay, Grakgut finds his grot manservant.

"OY, GRAKKAGRAK!" yells Grakgut.
"Yes, boss?" asks Grakkagrak.
"You foind any gitz wots gud at skreamin' but not foightin'?" asks Grakgut.
"Jus' about, boss! Found four so far. Real 'ard ta find!" the grot replies.
"Four..." ponders Grakgut, "'ow many gitz dose a band need?"
"Uh, five." says Wurrza.
"WE NEEDZ NUMBA FIVE! FIND ONE!" yells Grakgut.
Grakkagrak runs off. At this point Grakkar and Uzgob walk in.
"Oy, boss! Ya may want dis!" yells Grakkar as he rounds the corner. He tosses something in the air. Grakgut catches it, noting its a squig. It has wheels, large teef, and a speaker system taped to its back.
"Amazin!" he says.
"Dere's yer speaka squig." says Grakkar.
Plugging it in, it makes pretty loud sounds when connected to a voxcaster.

As the team finally reaches the Launch Bay, Kroz reaches for his voxcaster.
"OI. PLISKIN" yells Kroz.
"WOT!" a nearby cardboard box says.
"I'z got a mission fer youze!" says Kroz.
"I'z listenin', boss!" says Pliskin.
"Wez gunna NEE GOATY ATE fer more dakka. BUT. While youze and da boyz wifout boarders iz out and lootin, keep an eye out fer loot. Dat station's big. Lots of loot dere. Find all da loot. ALL of it."
"Roight boss! I'z see wot we kan do!" Says Pliskin as he waddles off. "AS soon as ya get on da station, we'll do our fing!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jHZ0Jk-mmg

"'Ast Danca to all youze muckin about beakies. GIT IN DA DANCA!" yells Kroz.

The kill team gets on the Last Danca. Boldo flutters in and parks himself on Kroz's head. The doors close, and the Danca is shot out of the Launch Bay. It's a short flight to Catalyst Station. The kill team can pick up multiple docking bays, most arrayed on the larger of the two rings.

"Careful, Careful... dats no planet... roight... no down..." Kroz scrapes the Last Danca down in one of the Launch Bays. The kill team sees another hauler crash nearby. A number of cardboard boxes start pouring out.

"Datz our Pliskin..." says Grisbane.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlk3XgxwQsY

The doors of the last Danca open. Kroz walks over to the intercom.
""THIS IS BATTOL BRUTHA RUBBYKONZE TO CATALYST STATION DOCKIN' KONTROL. WE'ZE SUCCESSFULLY DOCKED AN' EXPECT GUIDANCE WHOTSITS IN REGARDS TA MISSION-CRI...KRITI-...WHERE YER ZOGGIN' GUNS AT?" yells Kroz.
"Of course, Deathwatch!" says the intercom, "The Armory is in the center of the station, below Security and Command. The Second Ring is currently blocked off for security renovations."
"WHERE IS THE LOCATION OF THE.... PLACE WHERE YOU ALL 'GIT 'ARDER'?"
"That would be the Exercisatus Chambers, my lord." says the intercom.

The kill team walks into the hallways of Catalyst Station. They are not well lit. The ceiling arches into darkness. The hallway seems to extend for kilometers, and DOES extend for kilometers. As the kill team makes their way through the halls, they see numerous stormtroopers at attention. Each salutes the kill team as they pass. As they make their way to the center of Catalyst Station, the kill team sees a pair of guards at attention.

".. YOUZE. Who'z yer kommandin officer?" asks Kroz.
"I'm Stormtrooper Bob, my lord. This is Stormtrooper Jim. The inquisitors are above in Command and Control."
"Youze follow da ordas of da inkyzitter directly?" asks Kroz.
"Yes, my lord, to follow otherwise would be heresy! They work with the God Emperor's Mandate, after all." says Bob.
The stormtrooper then looks at his companion. His companion is shaking in fear. "OH MY GOD EMPEROR! OOOOOOOORKS!" he yells as he runs off screaming.
"...that's odd. What's wrong with Jim?" Bob asks, "I apologize profusely, noble Astartes. I believe he simply hasn't enough sleep."
"We'ze...uh, been 'round Orkz. Collected trophies, 'e probably smelled dose." says Grisbane.
"Wot's with the renovations anyhow?" asks Wurrza.
"Security protocol changes. Nearly fifty years ago, there were a pair of starship thefts out of the station. We're renovating security to ensure it never happens again."

Continuing into the armory, the kill team notes it's mostly hellguns and carapace. They promptly go wild looting as much as they can carry. While looting, they suddenly see a blue light. Investigating, they hear a very familiar voice.

"Got something that might interest ya, heh heh heh..."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9l_XYNYczI

Wazgor finally acquires a Meltagun. Grisbane acquires a power sword after trading in a bunch of stuff. Kroz still fails to acquire a pulse rifle. 'Eadmangla gets a Red Bulb Motion Tracker for his Pulse Rifle. Grakgut acquired a shoulder-mounted Deffgun, and Wurrza (after asking for a power supply) acquires an Isotropic Fuel Rod. However, the team tries for some Jammin' bitz for the Last Danca, and gives in enough teef to autoget the system.

As the merchant walks off behind a door, the alarms suddenly start blaring. "ALL PERSONNEL PLEASE REPORT TO COMMAND." the intercom blares.
"Iz weze persunel?" asks Grakgut.
"... Oi... anyone else notice dat blue guy brings trouble wif'im?" asks Kroz.
"'Ow do you think 'e gets all his stuff?" replies Wazgor.
"Our kinda boy." says Wurrza.

Rushing up to the Command Bridge, the hololithic cogitators are displaying a planet. "Ah, Deathwatch, glad you could make it." says one of the inquisitors. "Vile Xenos are attacking the planet Taedium."
"Dat sound Tedius. Wot form of xenos?" asks Kroz.
"We didn't know they would be so far out here, on this side of the galaxy." the inquisitor stops to pause, "It's Rak'gol."
"Wot's a rak'gol?" asks Grakgut.
""Six arms, razor guns, tough as an ork, they could give anyone a run for their money. We're mobilizing a fleet to help, but their defenses are struggling to hold." says the Inquisitor, "Can we count on you to assist them?"
"DATS NOT PROPA. WARM THE ENJINZ." yells Kroz.
"'Course we kan assist!" says Grakgut.
"Thank you, Deathwatch." he says, "If there are any surviving Guard out there, they can assist further.
"Well den, let'z get our teef's worth!" says Grisbane.

As the Kill Team leaves the station, Wurrza casts Inspire on the nearby stormtroopers. He whips them into a frenzy as they leave Catalyst Station.
"DID DA HERO OF THE IMPERIUM COWER WHEN HE FACED DA TIN-HEADED XENO, DA KULTS OF GENESNEAKERS, AND THE BLUE GITS? NO. HE DID IT AND YOU WILL TOO! DA RAKGHOLS GOT WOT? 6 ARMS? HOW MANY DO YOU GOT? I SEE 2 ARMS. 20! 1000 ARMS RIGHT AND PROPPA, WOT'LL DO A NUMBER ON ANY XENO DAT DOESN'T EVEN REGISTER ON DA BASIC GUARDSMAN'S PRIMER!" he yells.

"BATTOL BRUTHA RUBBYKONZES TO ALL KREW OF DA LOOTED KROOZA. PREPARE FOR IM.. UH... IMME... RIGHT NOW DEPARTURE." says Kroz as he rushes to the bridge and hits the GO button.

The Looted Kroozer enters the warp. The trip is estimated to take about four days, but halfway through the first a devastating warp storm manifests ahead of the kill team.

"SHORTKUT!" yells Kroz.

This warpstorm is massive, and it's hard to get through it. However, Da Looted Krooza presses on in almost sheer rage. As the Warp storm impacts and strips the hull, however, the kill team loses about 30 hull integrity the first day. While in the warp, the next three days are spent attempting to fix the pieces of the ship that fell off. It's not going well. Over three days the gain a total of 8 hull back.

"YOU GITZ WORK FASTA ON DAT SHIP. WE AIN'T DYIN OUT 'ERE!" yells Grakgut toward the grots fixing the ship, "IF WE DIE, IMMA KILL YOU MESELF!"

On the fourth day in the warp, Pliskin and Uzgob show up on the bridge.
"Wot you wanted to speak'bout, Pliskin?" asks Kroz.
"Ya see, boss?" says Pliskin, "I always get da good stuff!"
"Roight!" says Uzgob. "Boss....BEHOLD!"
A grot wheels a tiny cogitator in.
"Wots dat?" asks Kroz.
"Dem 'umies was REAL protektiv of it..." says Pliskin, "'ad a buncha scribbles on it."
"But look wot's on it!" says Uzgob.
Uzgob tosses a a missile almost as big as an ork at the Kill Team.
"Dey kalled dis one a QAAM." he says, "Zog if I know wot it means, but it trakks flyas right proppa!"
"Dat's Gud!" says Kroz.
"Got about 20 of'em loaded on da Danca fer ya!" says Uzgob.
"Gud Werk. So two tens of'em huh. dats roight 'n proppa. You sez dey fast?" asks Kroz.
"Da fastest! Da fings don't seem to wanna miss!" says Uzgob.
Uzgob and Pliskin begin to walk out of the bridge.
"I'z gonna keep lookin' at dis techy fing for more gubbinz!" says Uzgob, "don't you worry!"

>QAAM: Quick Maneuver Anti Air Missile. They use the same stats as Krak Missiles (3d10+10 Pen 10) but reroll misses vs Aircraft

A few minutes later, the Kill Team feels the familiar rumbling as the Looted Krooza leaves the Warp...and enter a massive Warzone. Rak'gol ships duel with Imperial ships all across space. A pair of Rak'gol cruisers notice the Looted Krooza, and turn to attack vectors.

"Did oi jus' wake up in 'eaven?" asks Grakgut.
"ALL SHIPS, WAAAAGH!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJj3LgyxY7o

The Looted Krooza is as fast as a frigate. Kroz rushes forward on attack speed. Wazgor fires the Kannonz and gets a few hits, while Kroz fires the torpedoes, knocking the Rak'gol auspexes out. The rak'gol fire back, but don't do much damage. The following turn, Kroz pulls the Krooza around and unloads a few more torpedoes, while Wazgor unloads a massive storm of missiles out of the kannonz, blowing up a Cruiser. Wurrza gets the krews of the Bommas together, and launches them at the second cruiser. The boyz do some major damage, as more kannon and lance fire rake the Rak'gol.

"Try not ta smash'em TOO 'ard! I wanna loot'em!" yells Kroz.

Then he fires the torpedoes. Not only does he roll maximum hits, he rolls maximum strength. All seven torpedoes hit the Rak'gol cruiser. It's a veritable fusillade of torpedoes, that just don't seem to stop coming. Wurrza watches in horror as the Rak'gol vessel explodes in a massive radioactive fireball.

"Me beautiful gubbinz..." cries Wurrza, "We didn't even get da chance to trade you off..."
Grakgut's jaw drops. Never before has he seen such dakka.
"DAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKADAAKK... WOT DID I WANNA DO 'GAIN?" says Kroz after looking up.
"Zog." sighs Grakgut.
"Zog it, Kroz, 'ow we supposed ta loot cinders!" says Wazgor.

The party still discovers signals coming from the surface. It seems the Rak'gol have launched an air assault on the frontier world's surface.

"KROZ TA ALL DA BOMMAS. YOUZE BOYZ LOOT ALL DA BITZ FROM DEM HULKS. STILL BITZ 'N STUFF DAT WORKS, MAYBE EVEN AN ENJINZ, AT LEAST LOTS'O ARMOR." says Kroz as he walks to the Launch Bay, "IZ 'EADIN DOWN TO DA PLANET."

The entire party rushes into the Last Danca.
"Gork n' Mork are wit us dis day!" declares Grakgut.
The Last Danca is shot out of the launch bay. As the Last Danca breaks atmosphere, the kill team begins to see numerous rak'gol craft in the air. They are heading to the nearby settlements.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0KZlp9m1U8

"KAN'T LET DEM GET TO DA 'UMIE KLANS!" yells Grakgut.
Suddenly, a single Marauder Bomber flies by. It seems to be modified with a giant radar.
"Good to see you, Deathwatch!" says the Marauder, "I'm glad they sent support in time! I'll be providing AWACS for you today. You can call me Walrus."
"AHEM. DIS IS BATTOL BRUTHER RUBBYKONZES. YOUZE LINK YER TELEMETRY TO US, AWRIGHT?" says Kroz.
"Current situation is a number of stolen interceptors guarding a wing of Bloodflayers. It's imperative that they not reach the towns!" says Walrus, "I will connect ESM when available."
Walrus pulls up the Marauder AWACS to higher in the atmosphere.
"I can't help until they get a little closer." says Walrus, "But yes, it's open season to all looted craft!"
"'e dun mean us does'e?" asks Kroz.
"'umies are stoopid. 'course 'e don't!" replies Grakgut.
"I wish you luck, Deathwatch. Walrus out."

"Wuts a walrus, OI wundah" asks Grakgut.
"Sounds like a Primarch crashin'." says Wurrza.
"Dats wen all da 'umies rush a big wall, fer da empruh" says Kroz.
"Naw, itz one o' da mythical 'umie squigs." says 'Eadmangla.
"...'umies are weird." sighs Grakgut.

>>16670249
> "Wuts a walrus, OI wundah" asks Grakgut.
> "Sounds like a Primarch crashin'." says Wurrza.
> "Dats wen all da 'umies rush a big wall, fer da empruh" says Kroz.
> "Naw, itz one o' da mythical 'umie squigs." says 'Eadmangla.

laughed my ass off

Kroz flies the Last Danca directly into the swarm of interceptors. Shootas blare and missiles fly as the interceptors begin to drop. Rak'gol razorguns do a fair bit to the Last Danca but the multiple turrets of the Last Danca even the odds significantly, and the newly loaded QAAMS prove their worth as they track targets incredibly accurately.

"Deatwatch, Fox Three, Kill confirmed!" says Walrus as the last interceptor explodes.

At this point, the first of the three Bloodflayers breaks off and engages the Last Danca. Kroz weaves through enemy fire as missiles and rounds pepper the bloodflayers. Radcannons do a massive amount of damage to the Last Danca, but it holds long enough to take down the Bloodflayers, mainly through immobilizations and engine damage.

"...Incredible." says Walrus, "You Deathwatch really are yall you're cracked up to be."
"Dat's...how ya kill a zeno." says 'Eadmangla.
"Reports are saying the other Kill Teams that came with you are mopping up Rak'gol resistance as we speak. I'll be sure to report that you get a full commendation back at your Watch Fortress." says Walrus.
"We kan git shiney bitz fer killin' stuffs?" exclaims Grakgut, "'umies are smarter den I tot!"
"Well, it was a pleasure to work with you today, Deathwatch. Maybe we'll see each other again." says Walrus as his AWACS pulls up toward space.

The kill team lands and begins picking through the wreckage. They find a few rak'gol razorguns, and a fair bit of corpses. As Grakgut patches the holes in the Last Danca, the kill team begins gathering the bodies. 'Eadmangla finds a dead broodmaster, and loots his hat. Grakgut decides to eat part of the Rak'gol, and surprisingly does not get sick. It tastes like metal.

"Does this fing look like ya could make a good chair out of it?" asks Kroz.
Grakgut sits down on one. It bends a bit, but the corpse holds.
"We culd make dese tings into 'ats an' chairs n stuff!" bellows Grakgut.

The kill team packs the bodies and the loot into the Last Danca and heads back to the ship. Taking off, the kill team notices the air get a bit thin but still breathable as they make it toward the Looted Krooza. Scraping into the Launch Bay and hitting the wall with a thud, the Last Danca's doors open. The entire launch bay is a raucous celebration of dakka, choppa, and fried rak'gol as the krew is celebrating the huge fight.

"Well, boss," says Pliskin as he appears behind the kill team, "Here's da loadout!" The Kill team receives +3 PROFIT FACTOR, +750 XP, and we called the session there as the planet's surface flashes lights spelling "THANK YOU DEATHWATCH."

>>16670139
>>16670085
>Previous crew
>Starship thefts

Overall, this was the first ship combat and vehicle combat. The players have expressed extreme interest in upgrading the ship and the fighta bomma after seeing their combat effectiveness.

Torpedoes are BEAST. The players are lucky they don't have to worry about getting new torpedoes. Fighta swarms aren't too shabby either.

But overall, now that I have a good idea of balance and the players' combat effectiveness, the kid gloves can really come off and the fights get real proppa...

>Walrus

>>16670062

>>16670493

I figured as much. It wasn't very subtle.

Blue light specials, god.

Also, the players seem to be doing a helluva job keeping it orky. I'm always a bit curious how much of that is directly quoted vs slightly embellished.

>>16670615
It's actually directly quoted. Slight differences here and there, but a majority of the text is exact quotes.

>>16670615

I'd say it's about 96% direct transcripture. There are times I need to edit things for readability, but it's pretty much all direct from the source.

...you named an AWACS Walrus?

>>16670827

Technically, I didn't. Someone else did. I just went with the name.