Quantcast
[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / g / ic / jp / lit / sci / tg / vr / vt ] [ index / top / reports / report a bug ] [ 4plebs / archived.moe / rbt ]

Due to resource constraints, /g/ and /tg/ will no longer be archived or available. Other archivers continue to archive these boards.Become a Patron!

/tg/ - Traditional Games


View post   

[ Toggle deleted replies ]
[ERROR] No.16519441 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Okay here's the deal.

You may choose to worship Khorne and gain an ability to cause literal asshurt to anyone you want once every two hours. Your victim will feel a sharp pain in his or her anus for 10 minutes, but in order to make this ability work you need to look at something related to said victim.
A post on the Internet is enough for this.

You may pledge your loyalty to Tzeentch and gain a godly level of skill and luck in any game you play. You won't instantly become the very best player in any game, but you may get even better on your own hand.

You can serve Nurgle and get any amounts of any food you want and whenever you want, but you are the only one that can eat it and you still can get fat.

Finally you can make a pact with Slaanesh for being able to fuck any character you want, real or otherwise. You can do this only once a day and if you try to record the phantom or someone else sees it it disappears and you can't use the ability for a month.


Of course you can stay loyal to your pathetic dog emperor, but that will get you NOTHING.

>> No.16519448

It will give me his everlasting love and protection, and that is enough!

>> No.16519466

>Tzeentch
> Go to local casino and rape some ass.

>> No.16519478

Slaanesh, hands down.

All day every day

>> No.16519512

I went over this in /v/.
You just can't trust Chaos.
Worshiping Khorne Flakes will make you the most analpained person alive. Everything will make you mad. You are the very definition of "u mad".
Tzeench is a tricky fucker. You may be tourney fag good, but not good enough to beat actual tourneyfags. You'll be better than your bros but worse than actually good people. Forever trapped in between. Too good to have fun, not good enough to be competitive.
Papa Nurgle wants you to spread his gifts and enjoy being a worthless piece of shit. You'd stop caring about anything else but eating. You'd enjoy being a stinking pile of crap. You'd have to wash yourself with a rag on a stick, but you wouldn't even care.
Slaanesh would fuck you. Literally. You can't trust her/him. Sure it'd start out with you fucking your waifu. Then it'd be your waifu fucking you. Then you'd be the cocksleave of some horrible vidya monster. Daemon cock in all your holes. And it'd never be quite enough. You'd always want more but unable to satisfy it. Blueballs forever.

Worshiping the Emprah is the logical choice.

>> No.16519539

> pathetic dog emperor.

I think you're confusing the emperor with his lapdogs, the space wolves.

>> No.16519563

>I can see my waifu

Slaanesh, without hesitation.

>> No.16519618

>>Slaanesh would fuck you. Literally.
Nice...
>>Sure it'd start out with you fucking your waifu.
Good
>>Then it'd be your waifu fucking you.
Even better
>>Then you'd be the cocksleave of some horrible vidya monster. Daemon cock in all your holes. And it'd never be quite enough. You'd always want more but unable to satisfy it.

I'm still not seeing a problem here.

>> No.16519627

>Nurgle, never have to buy food again. Suddenly I have expendable cash out the ass because like I said I never have to buy food again.

>> No.16519649

>>16519627
What would need cash for? All you'd do is eat. Nurgle loves sloth. You'd just become a fat fuck that doesn't do anything.

>> No.16519664

>>16519649

Unless you became a nurgling sorcerer, in which case you basically become a sci-fi necromancer.

>> No.16519671

>You may choose to worship Khorne and gain an ability to cause literal asshurt to anyone you want once every two hours. Your victim will feel a sharp pain in his or her anus for 10 minutes, but in order to make this ability work you need to look at something related to said victim.
A post on the Internet is enough for this.


THIS IS SO TEMPTING

HNNNGH

>> No.16519694

>>16519512

I'm with this guy.

Service to a cause is the only thing I need to enjoy life.

>> No.16519707

these lovely ladies are all i need to stay faithfull to the god emperor

suffer not the heretic, looks like we may need to wage a war of faith here

>> No.16519736

>>16519441
>Finally you can make a pact with Slaanesh for being able to fuck any character you want, real or otherwise. You can do this only once a day and if you try to record the phantom or someone else sees it it disappears and you can't use the ability for a month.
<3

>> No.16519748

>Slaanesh would fuck you. Literally. You can't trust her/him. Sure it'd start out with you fucking your waifu. Then it'd be your waifu fucking you. Then you'd be the cocksleave of some horrible vidya monster. Daemon cock in all your holes. And it'd never be quite enough. You'd always want more but unable to satisfy it. Blueballs forever.
>implying that is not my fetish

>> No.16519755

>Implying number one is not possible without Khorne Magics.

I mean honestly, people get asspained on this website daily.

I think I would go with Tzeentch.

Yeah, I know you would be great at whatever you put your mind to, but probably never become "The Best" at said field, but for me, knowing that there are those who are worse than me is enough to help me go to sleep at night.

Also, I would wreck Vegas in a week.

>> No.16519757

Emperor, obviously.
Hardcore to the max, don't need no shitty ass gods to help me out.

>> No.16519798

can someone PLEASE fix that pic so the chaos points are more symmetrical?

>inb4 autism

>> No.16519827

>>16519441
Heh, I'm a proppa' Emperor worshippin' lad/
I joined the Imperial Guard and everything.

>> No.16519850

>>16519798
>Chaos
>Uniformity
Chaos Stars can be practically anything.

>> No.16519860

>>16519798
>Chaos
>Symmetry
>A form of order
You... You double heretic!

>> No.16519867

Slaanesh.

My soul for my waifu? That's a bargain.

>> No.16519901

Slannesh in a heartbeat.

>> No.16519914

Pledge loyalty to Tzeench, start playing professional pocker, make millions, fuck whoever I want and eat whatever I want because I'm motherfucking Phil Ivey.

>> No.16519983

So if I pick Slaanesh, do I get any girl I want at any time, or do I just have to pick one and stick with it? If the previous, than that one in a heartbeat. If the latter, ehhhh... Nurgle, just so I don't have to spend any more money on food. Eating classy meals all day erry day nigga.

>> No.16519996

i like my soul intact op

>> No.16520003

>>16519798
>complaining that a symbol of chaos is too disorderly

>> No.16520019

>khorne: cause butthurt
>nurgle: free junk food. yay.
>tzeentch: be a dick to your rp group
>slaanesh: FUCK ANYTHING WHENEVER YOU WANT EVER

how is this even a choice?

>> No.16520051

tzeentch or slaanesh.

with slaanesh i'd never be ronery again, also i could act out my most horrific sexual fantasies with no consequence.

with tzeentch you could hit vegas and make a shit ton of money, and simply buy whores. also you could get fame and notoriety this way, which could be cool.

>> No.16520075

>choose emperor
>work towards success with my own two hands
cheat codes are for weaklings

>> No.16520080

With Khorne I'd get to hurt people over the internet?

Yes, yes, and yes.

>> No.16520082

>>16520019

>not even imagining what will happen to you for taking these gifts
>2011

>seinfeld's_friend.bmp

>implying people still think like this

>> No.16520090

Khorne.

Every time a tripfag posts something stupid, I'll be there.

>> No.16520100 [DELETED] 

>>16520082
>Using the date in a post implying stupidity.
>MFW you're still doing this.

>> No.16520108

>>16520090

Khorne is best because there is the least downside.

>u mad, all the time
>implying I'm not

>> No.16520115

>>16520100

Holy shit, the post is real! There is no other plausible explanation for this amount of ass-pain.

>> No.16520122

I'll go with Tzeentch, hands down. Where do I sign?

>> No.16520123

>>16519618
>Ohh look im such cool and edgy /b/tard

>> No.16520131

>You may pledge your loyalty to Tzeentch and gain a godly level of skill and luck in any game you play

treat everything as a game, become king of the world

>> No.16520134

Khorne and Tzeentch both almost had me. Slaanesh to a lesser degree. Tzeentch sounds unreliable, though, and useless for anything but games exclusively of luck. Khorne sounds fun for dealing with posters I hate, but even such minor calibration of /tg/ behavior would make it not-/tg/.

In the end, though I confess I wavered, I remain true to the God Emperor, and dedicated to mankind.

>> No.16520141

>>16520131
>treat everything as a game
>implying it's not

>> No.16520167

Normally I'm a Tzeentch kinda guy. But Slaanesh, I'm so lonely.

>> No.16520173

>Tzeentch
>gambling
whelp... I have enough money for a few lifetimes...
Slaanesh comes second.

>> No.16520177

Slaanesh and Khorne are both very tempting.

But I'll stick to what I know and stay with the God Emperor

>> No.16520203

>>16520123
More likely, they fap to /d/. Or they're from Japan. Same thing, really.

>> No.16520205

>40011
>not choosing tzeentch

i seriously hope you guys arent doing this

>> No.16520207

>>16519755
>Khorne magic

Number one needs to be changed, something like the ability to defeat any enemy, human, vehicle, whatever, with a single blow, but only once every two hours or some other period of time, or if doing so would cause blood loss or something. the former is too magicy for the blood god.

>> No.16520260

I think you should alter Nurgle's blessing.

Khorne - Do what you have always dreamed of and make some one suffer on the internet. Or even in real life! Some punk wnats to pick a fight? Incapacitate him with blinding ass pain then kick his face in. King of Fighters.

Tzeentch - You could abuse the lviing fuck out of this by going to Vegas or entering high states vidya competitions. Be awesome at vidya and be rich.

Slaanesh - This one is OP. Sex everyday without any effort any way I want with ANYTHING I could dream of? Better then all the rest combined. Drop it down to once every 3 weeks.

Nurgle - Get free junk food? Hows about doubling one's expected life duration or making us immune to disease and pain? That at least has some cool real world applications. Free stuff that costs very little anyway isn't exactly jumping out at me.

>> No.16520325

Slaanesh fits me perfectly.

I'm pretty good at what I do so money is not an issue, so Nurgle is out (I can buy most of the food anyway)

Khorne is useless. You're not actually affecting things and you can't even blackmail people with it because it doesn't actually do any damage to them.

Tzeentch is great, and I'd go Tzeentch if Slaanesh doesn't allow me to change the character from one session to the next.

As for Slaanesh, I hate dating, commitments piss me off, and the work to reward ratio for casual sex is too high for me. Plus, you know, being able to use all sorts of imaginary characters is pretty much the only visible magical part of any of these powers.

>> No.16520423

Was there actually any kind of doubt? I mean, at all?

>> No.16520432

I mean, really?

>> No.16520457

I choose the emprah

>> No.16521669

Tzneetch, you got yourself another loyal servant!

>> No.16521894

SLAANESH!!!!

>> No.16521956

Real men pick the hardest difficulty available.

Therefore the Empra.

Fuck your gifts.

>> No.16521986

I don't choose Necoho.

>> No.16522023

>>16519441
>>fuck
first of all, can they fuck me?
can we talk? can we cuddle?
having sex is pretty indistinct, and since neither myself or the intended participants have penises, it makes it rather complicated.

>> No.16522055

>Not serving the Emperor in all things

Guys, it's the Emperor. You know what must be done if you are a true servant of mankind.

>> No.16522060

Slaanesh,
fuck yeah

>> No.16522776

I'd choose Khorne so fucking hard that it's not even funny anymore.

Fuck bitches, fuck food, fuck games when I could make people just shut the fuck up over the internet.

On the other hand that power better had unlimited uses - the amount of people in dire need of blinding rectal pain on this planet is simply staggering.

>> No.16522889

i go tzeentch,
win all the time at gambling, earn millions of dollars, buy whores,buy countless food, and give a homeless khorne follower a home.

JUST.AS.PLANNED

>> No.16526051

I'd do anything for the ability to spread butthurt through the Internet.

>> No.16526093

The Emperor protects.
I do not need your gifts, you filthy heretic.
Now hurry up and start DYING.

>> No.16526119

Khorne probably, slannesh would be the second choice but fuck it'd make me feel way too creepy.

Nurgle would be nice but for the boils.

>> No.16526158

>>16519441
I am a pathetic, worthless, waste of a person. I spend nearly 80% (by my literal guess) of the hours I have free looking at and eagerly hoping porn that I hope gets updated. I have either an addiction or a weak will or what (what is the term? Faggotry? Cowardice?). I'm at a good college, my grades aren't bad, but damn, I know that I'm wasting so much time where I could be acing my courses with an extra two hours a day of straight studying.

I'm running with Slaanesh. It wouldn't change much, truth be told. Hell, if anything, it'd be the straw that broke the camel's back and ended what little semblance productivity I have.

>> No.16526162

>>16522023
>Slaanesh
>Moderation
I don't think so. I'm pretty sure you'd be limited to fucking until you got bored.

>> No.16526184

>Of course you can stay loyal to your pathetic dog emperor, but that will get you NOTHING.
Fuck you, I'm staying with the Emprah, heretic.

>> No.16526189

I'd only choose Nurgle if I was practically immortal short of being gibbed.

>> No.16526194

>>16526093
And yeah, arguably the cost of using or obtaining your powers is you will never achieve anything even with them.

The whole idea of following the Emperor is that you have the capability to remain yourself (of course, I'm not talking about the DH universe). The Emperor grants no benevolence other than his spiritual guidance (as any deity can attest to on this planet) but he doesn't hold you back.

The Emperor would not stop you from trying to become the best you can be. Even when you become a Heretic, he would frown and be disappointed, but wouldn't (or couldn't) stop you.

>> No.16526233

>>16520080

If "something related to a person" can be the fact I'm playing against them in an online game, I'd go with Khorne in a heartbeat. Fuck everyone who plays against me in CoH.

>> No.16526251

>amplify skills I already have
>be an all-round impressive individual
>obtain what I want through wit and trickery
>just as planned

Can this deal please be real?

>> No.16526262

>>16526251
>Tzeentch
>obtain everything you want
More like
>Almost everything you've ever wanted is within arms reach
>suddenly, somewhere, Tzeentch flips a "fuck this guy over" switch, chuckles to himself, then sighs and continues browsing his vast porn collection

>> No.16526348

Tzeentch. Gamble. Get money. Get bitches that Slaanesh would have gotten me, and buy the food Nurgle would have gotten me. Pay someone else to shoot people in the ass.

>> No.16526397

Pledge to malal to deny someone else their chaos gift.

>> No.16526413

Nurgle obviously

>> No.16526443

>Of course you can stay loyal to your pathetic dog emperor, but that will get you NOTHING.
Good, because I have everything I need and much that I desire. And the rest can be obtained through good honest underhanded cutthroat human toil.

>> No.16526495

>fuck organic-enhancing nanite clouds
>all day erry day
>be made a sexual uuberman by my slaaneshi blessings

HELL YES.

If you think superpowers-from-sexpartner is impossible, I point you towards the galatea jello goo sexstories, and the rule I can take fictional waifus.

>> No.16526515

What if I believe in the Greater Good?

>> No.16526527

>>16526515

Again, you get nothing.

>>16526495

You know, I was under the impression gaming the system doesn't work. It's not a shortcut to super powers, it's just a way to live out perverted fantasies. Chaos usually frowns- Well, laughs maniacally and *then* fucks you- over things like that.

>> No.16526538

How painful is said butpain? Like "I just ate 10 pounds of Indian food" pain? Because thats not good enough.

>> No.16526546

You people are perhaps familiar with the Dresden Files?

I will use deals with any supernatural power as presented there as my example: you shouldn't because you won't get the better part of the deal, even if you think you will.

>> No.16526582

Slaanesh, no real contest. I'd save money on hookers, too.

>> No.16526587

>>16526582
>Actually spending money on hookers

>> No.16526611

>>16519441

>Khorne
already in a state of 24/7 butthurt for all the scene faggotry and hippsters i see. Following all thats mainstream, I mad.

>Tzeentch
I always been the big fish in the small pond, all ready there.

>Nurgle
I live comfortably with what I make, money and food is no concern to me, I have plenty enough.

>Slaanesh
Had sex enough for one life time, not sure why I even want to date anymore. Also have a child on the way.

>Emprah
I don't worship the dead.


There is no choice for me.

>> No.16526635

>>16519512

>Nurgle
>wash yourself

you want to try again?

>> No.16527067

Slaanesh, without any hesitation. Infinite sex without any need for relationships, and I can fulfill my most depraved fetishes, some of which are impossible in real life.

>> No.16527181

And after my inevitable death at the hands of a kill team of inquisitorial acolytes, I sear for eternity in the hands of my chaos benefactor for selling my soul to a creature of pure malevolence.

That's not worth it at all. The trade is ridiculous.

>> No.16527214

Tzeentch. My abilities will naturally attract the ho's that Slaanesh's power would grant, I can just get them to dress up as the characters I want, and the money I make from gambling can buy me all the food I want and hired goons to cause asshurt in a more permanent fashion.

>> No.16527223

>You can serve Nurgle and get any amounts of any food you want and whenever you want, but you are the only one that can eat it and you still can get fat.

Wut?

This one would fit Slaanesh better.
Nurgle isn't about eating or getting fat.

>> No.16527263

>>16520075

Guards! This man is a heretic! Kill him while I confiscate all his stuff.

>The imperial way.

>> No.16527291

>Khorne
Eternal butthurt for the people I hate online and IRL

>Slaanseh
Fucking and getting fucked untill I am nothing more then a piece of meat waiting for the next dicking...

Why is choosing with chaos always so damn hard.

>> No.16527337

>>16527181

You seem to have confused the Judaeo-Christianity afterlife with that of 40k. In 40k, its "erryone goes to space hell when they die, or oblivion"

>> No.16527369

Nurgle = excess, and Slaanesh = moderated sex?

>> No.16527431

Usually I'd go with Nurgle every time, but the gifts make it a difficult choice.

There are plenty of people on the internet I'd love to feel assburn and it'd be funny to think of how they'd react. And it can be used several times a day? It sounds like a bargain.

A little bit of extra luck would boost morale even if it was only a tiny bit of improvement at a time. Maybe that slight improvement in luck will get me to try harder at being better.

Not having to eat crappy home-made meals cooked by someone else or having to share if it's actually edible? Hell yeah, I want that.

And then there's being able to be as nasty as I want with anyone, real or imagined, every day as long as nobody sees? That would be pretty nice too as long as I can have the parts I need to do it with.

>> No.16527446

>>16519441
>Workship the old ones.
>Get nothing.
>Making the shit they want
>The send me lizardmen, orkz, kroots, eldars, and other biologic engineered shit to help me
>Now i'm a biologic engineer. at godly level

>> No.16527460

>>16527337
A hell where the devil knows you sucks a lot harder than a hell where you're anonymous.

>> No.16527474

>>16527460
Becoming part of Slaanesh or Tzeentch forever doesn't sound bad to me, no matter how you slice it.

>> No.16527476

>a pact with Slaanesh for being able to fuck any character you want, real or otherwise. You can do this only once a day
was there really any choice?

>> No.16527564

Khorne, because I'm already petty enough to enjoy it.

And because it's the gift that I can just keep giving, rather than a situational thing that either benefits only me or only works for games.

>> No.16527593

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD, SKUILLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!

Slaanesh of course this isn't even a question.

>> No.16527602

Your face when worshipping Slaanesh is actually worshipping Tzeentch.


>jusr as planned

>> No.16527618

>>16527602
source
whats the story behind this photo

>> No.16527620

>>16527602
I don't know how to feel about that picture..

>> No.16527630

>>16519441
Is that Newman?

>> No.16527635

Slaanesh.

Sorry Tzeentch.. but it's the best deal imaginable.

>> No.16527638

>>16527618
>>16527620
its fake

>> No.16527650

>Pick Slaanesh
>Summon Slaanesh to fuck him/her in the butt all day
>He/she can't attend to any other matters anymore and will ultimately get bored
>Just according to keikaku.

>> No.16527719

>>16527650
>slaanesh
>getting bored of being fucked in the ass
Yeah, I don't think so

>> No.16527771

>pick Tzeench
>pick flight simulator
>become worlds best pilot
>join military
>victory and glory

>> No.16527877

Wait, a moment
>Nurgle - lack of moderation
>Slaneesh - getting just enough to satisfy your desires

>> No.16527890

>>16527771
>Become Mobius 1

>> No.16528647

>>16519512
Not to mention even thinking of worshiping anyone but the Emperor is Hers- *BLAM*

>> No.16528648

>>16527890
>>16527890
THIS.

>> No.16529418

FUCK YOU WHERE'S MY UNDIVIDED CHOICE

>> No.16529927

I pick all four at once.

>> No.16530554

I choose the greater good.

>> No.16530574

Slaanesh
>Ability to fuck anything
I fuck a creature I just made up that gives me godly levels of powers of anything I want by having sex with ti

You guys really need to stop putting in these loopholes in your vs. threads

>> No.16530612

Okay so:
>Make someones ass ache
>Become 'godly' at something, but not the best.
>Get free food that you cant share
>Fuck anything you want.

I know what I'd choose.

>> No.16530812

>Slaanesh

I have literally 100+ waifus. I will never need to worry about women or anything like this. That means I can devote the rest of my life to working and playing vidya.

>> No.16532541

>>16530812

Plus, if one of your waifus can cook, that totally eliminates Nurgle. "Can you cook me three meals before we do anything as foreplay?"

And then, of course, some kind of super-genius photographic memory waifu if you're needing someone to help play (or win) games. Add a hidden camera on your shirt and a earbud connected to her radio, and you can go to casinos and such too. So much for Tzeetch.

>>
Name (leave empty)
Comment (leave empty)
Name
E-mail
Subject
Comment
Password [?]Password used for file deletion.
Captcha
Action