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File: 277 KB, 800x805, Ork Disguise.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
16447360 No.16447360 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

I just got back from modeling my AK receiver on CATIA, and I'm upset because the guy didn't quite label his axis, so I couldn't tell if I was holding the schematic upside down.

That said, the second session of Deffwotch was yesterday. In Deffwotch, the players are Orks who trick the Imperium into thinking they're Spess Mehreens, which leads to all sorts of insanity.

I've got the story right here, so 'ere we go.

>> No.16447389
File: 52 KB, 320x240, Priest Vito Cornelius.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
16447389

In the previous session, the Kill Team successfully quelled a rebellion on their ship. Currently readying themselves in da Painbay, conveniently located next to

the Mek Shop, the Kill Team patches up old wounds.

Kroz Rubbykonzes - Flyboy
Grimslag 'Eadmangla - Kommando
Wazgor Shakbag - Stormboy
Grakgut Grumwizzlewot - Painboy
Grisbane Da Charmin' - (What the fuck do you call a Fellowship-based ork?)

suddenly, Uzgob's Skanna Jamma start crackling and sparking.

"It'z workin', boss!" Yells Uzgob.
"Oy, Main Screen Turn On!" says Kroz.
The Skanna Jamma redirects its signal to the primary screens in the Mek Shop. A rather scared-looking priest appears.
"By the Emperor, someone please help!" the priest cries, "Something here, there's something down here, it's everywhere!"
"OI! DATS LIKE, DATS US! WEZ DO DA SHOOTIN ON DA BAD THINGS!" says Kroz.
"I repeat, this is Ministorum Primaris on Abbysius Monasturius requesting Deathwatch assistance!" the priest implores as the signal cuts out.
"Sounds like dis 'umies got stuck in!" observes Grakgut, "We need ta get stuck in!"
"Finally, sumfin tah shoot... " says Eadmangla.

>> No.16447402
File: 44 KB, 1024x768, Warp travel.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
16447402

Grakgut begins having Uzgob make his armor pauldrons larger, while Kroz rushes to the Bridge, with Clarence's assistance. Upon reaching the bridge, he grabs the voxcaster.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c51xQc03W6Y

"TENSHUN, TENSHUN. TEN SHUNS ALL ASSTARTITZES. DIS IZ YER FLYBOYZ KAP'N SPEAKIN." says Kroz, "AS OF, NOT LONG 'FORE YOUZE 'EARIN DIS, WEZ GOIN FASTA TO 'UMIE PIMARIS, ON AB... ABB... ABYS MONA TURS. ALL ASSTARTITZ GUNNA GIT READY FOR WAAAAGH!"

The entire ship lights up in a chorus of WAAAGH! as The Looted Krooza enters the warp. However, the trip up is a bit rocky, as the crew encounter a small Warp Storm.

"UPPITY EH? ITS A FOIGHT WIT DA SPACE! IZ GUD PRACTICE, KROOZA! DO IT WIT ME NOW! WAAAGH!" yells Kroz as he charges right into it. The ship itself, as if feeding off the WAAAAGH, charges straight through the core of the storm. Warp currents and vortices break into nothing as the Looted Krooza forces its way through. Leaving the tail end of the warp storm, however, some minor damage is taken, but nothing they can't fix.

I suppose that's what a Operate Ship roll of 1, then a failure by no degrees gets.

"I'z da flyiest..." declares Kroz.

>> No.16447413

>>16447389
I think a Fellowship Ork would be called... Grisbane Smoovgit

>> No.16447423
File: 110 KB, 500x500, ork science.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
16447423

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2AgGtbazDw

Meanwhile, in the Painbay, Grakgut is lookin' for experiments.

"Oy!" he says to a random boy, "Find me a git 'fraid of gettin' shot in da back!"
"Roight boss!" the boy says, as he wanders off. About a day later, he returns with a runty-lookin' git.
"Yoo scared o' gettin' shot in da back, boy?" asks Grakgut.
"Sorta, boss. Saw me mate get zogged a bit ago." says the git.
"I got jus' da roight ting fer dat!" states Grakgut.

Grakut proceeds to knock the boy out. He grabs a grot and saws his legs off. Grakgut sticks the legless grot on da boy's back. The boy then wakes up.
""Ow, wot wozza-" starts the boy.
Grakgut rapidly chops da boy's arm off and replaces it with the other arm from Skarfang earlier. Some sutures here, a quick weld job there, arm's good as new.
"Dere ya go! Now you alwayz got somewun watchin' yer back!" says Grakgut.
"...Oh. Oh wow. Thanks, boss!" The not so runty boy says.
Grakgut high-fives the boy with the disproportionately large arm. The boy grabs his shoota and begins runnin' out, the grot on his back screaming.
"Yoo'll get used ta it!" Grakgut yells.
"Right, boss!" the boy replies.

>> No.16447438
File: 159 KB, 700x542, Ork stare.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
16447438

At this point the ship starts rumbling and shaking again. The players are belched out of the Warp in orbit over the world of Abyssius Monasturius. A message is sent to the players' ship.
"Astartes? Can it be?" the message starts.
"PIMRIS! WEEZ 'ERE FOR DA FOIGHT!" yells Kroz.
"By the Emperor, our prayers are answered!" a small priest says.
Eadmangala snickers as the message continues.
"Of course, noble ones! We have organized a delegation at the Chapel Primaris!" the priest says, "You can find us there!"

As the screen turns off, Grakgut thinks a moment.
"Oi. Are we Aztarteez or Orkztarteez? We neva decided." he ponders.
"Pimris sez ass tartitz, so dat must be it." states Eadmangla.
"Ooo cares? 'umies are stoopid anywayz!" yells Wazgor.
"You'z gonna fight an' win, datz wot!" yells Uzgob as he reaches the bridge. He points to the docking bay.
"I'z prepped ya Rok Pods an' ya bomma. Choice is yours, boss!" says Uzgob.
"Iz'll fly in an' crash it roight in da middle so we looks gud!" says Kroz.
"Gud idear!" says Grakgut as the rest of the party gets into a Rok Pod. "And we kan yell da fings da beakies yell!"
"Den wut we waitin for?" asks Eadmangla.
"FER DA EMPWAAAAGH!" yells Wazgor as he rips the cord on his arm chain.

>> No.16447447
File: 90 KB, 600x399, ork orbital bombardment.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
16447447

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jHZ0Jk-mmg

The Bomma is launched out of the Landing Bays at maximum speed as the Rok Pod Launchas start chuckin' boyz in every direction.
Grakgut, Wazgor, Eadmangla, and Grisbane see Kroz outside in da bomma. The air warm ups as the Rok Pod breaks atmosphere

"...us, so Who's da new boy?" asks Grakgut.
>What new guy?
Grakgut motions to Grisbane and his two chainswords.
>He's always been there.
"Really?" asks Wazgor.
>To think otherwise is double-plus-ungood.
"I'z was always here!" declares Grisbane.

Kroz does a rather hard landing with his ship, which he calls the R-99 Last Danca. The Rok Pod impacts a few moments later. Boyz are getting launched every direction, but the party maintains cohesion more or less. The air is hot here, but a large chapel lies a bit away. The Kill Team makes their way toward the Chapel, at a brisk run. Reaching the front doors, they are blocked up by a shitty barricade.

>> No.16447463
File: 297 KB, 1792x2671, Ork marines.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
16447463

"Oy! You 'umies in dere? Open up!" yells Kroz.
"Dis is Brutha...brutha...Brutha Joe Dee-ma-j-ee-o! We'ze 'ere ta 'elp!" yells Wazgor.
"And dis is...uh...Brotha Ezeekyel!" Grakgut says as he punches in the door, which proceeds to fall down.

Inside the chapel, a number of priests are running about dead-scared. One stops, and looks at the players.
"By the Emperor, you're here!" the priest yells.
"You'z da 'umies of da Emprah? We'ze 'ere ta fight!" declares Kroz.
"Of course, my lords!" The tiny priest says, "Please come with me, and we'll show you what's happening.

>> No.16447486
File: 607 KB, 1284x643, Ork Fortress 2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
16447486

The priest waddles toward a smaller side chapel. Inside, the priest gestures at the bodies. They...ain't proppa. Awareness reveals that they are blackened and drained. Grakgut, being a Painboy, notes small markings on their heads, like bite and suction marks.
"Dis is...dis is weird." says Wazgor.
"It started a Few weeks ago, but it seems to be limited to this Chapel complex and surrounding area."
"Wot did deze gits do different dat you gits din't?" asks Wazgor.
"They were all priests of the lower levels." states the priest. "First the bodies disappeared." he says, "Then they reappeared a week or so later, like this."
"... DA LOWER LEVELS IZ GUNNA BE CLEARED OF DA INFLUENTS OF DA BAD TINGS." screams Kroz.
"Did anyfin' happen at da time o'da disappearin'?" asks Grakgut.
"Uh..." thinks the priest, "Well, there was a strange transport here a few weeks ago. They delivered supplies to the lower levels, and that was it."
"I tink wot 'appened woz in wot woz shipped to da place dat shipments go!" says Grisbane.
"Oy, we need mo' info!" yells Grakgut.
"Of course!" says the priest. He brings the party to a cogitator. On it are maps of the lower areas and transport minutae.
"Here, noble ones." He points at the cogitator. "The shipment was sent there, and Ministorum agents began disappearing from there.."
"Oy, you'z got an armory?" asks Grakgut.
"Uh, I'm sorry, noble Astartes, but we are but priests. We have chainswords and incense, and flamers, but that's about it." stammers the priest.
"NO DAKKA?" yells Wazgor.
"Izza shame. Youz need ta be mo' militant. Alwayz be prepared...wit' dakka."
"Of course, Noble Astartes. I apologize." The priest prostates himself.
"Get Movin', Boyz! Priest, be wary, find yerselves a place that's defensible, them zeeenos are often creepy-like." says Grisbane, as the party leaves for the underchapel.
"Of course!" the priests yell. They all waddle off to find some weapons.

>> No.16447495
File: 14 KB, 253x290, Solid Ork.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
16447495

'Eadmangla goes down first. Scouting ahead, he eventually realizes that vox contact is being interfered by the materials of the wall. He beckons everyone down, and continues scouting. After a while, 'Eadmangla turns a corner, and sees a cardboard box.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUHJsU_ooWQ

"FInally found ya, boss!" the box says.
"Good ta see ya, Pliskin!" says 'Eadmangla.
"Saw a funny blue light round dose tubes ova dere." says Pliskin, "Dere was a 'umie dere. I dunno, but 'e seemed right proppa."
"A 'umie?" asks 'Eadmangla.
"'e had a bunch of stuff! Traded in me teef for a new knife!"
"'umies takin' teef? Wotz next..." considers 'Eadmangla.
"All roight boss, me an' da Boyz Without Bordaz are gonna get back ta lootin'." says Pliskin. He points at about 10 or so other cardboard boxes behind him. "We'll get ya da loot right proppa!"

Rounding a few corners, the players eventually do see a blue light. The players hear a voice.
"Over here, stranger..."

>> No.16447510
File: 41 KB, 400x300, Merchant stock.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
16447510

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEAakGOwSqw

Heading closer, the kill team sees a blue robed figure standing near a window. Something's odd, though. He LOOKS like a 'umie, but they get ork vibes from him. Realizing this is a good thing, the players get to shopping. Grakgut manages to acquire a Best Quality Power Klaw, and Grisbane gets a Best Quality Legion Slugga. Half the party fails to acquire Tau Pulse weapons, but they do acquire Subskin Armor, which Grakgut messily installs in a side room. Returning to the main area, the Merchant has disappeared.

>> No.16447532
File: 753 KB, 464x694, Ambull.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
16447532

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zp2KYBWAj4w

COntinuing on, the party reaches the entrance to the Docking Bays. However, just before they can enter, they are attacked by a group of Ambull. Ambull have a fear rating of 1, so I called for Fear tests. I also reminded the party that as orks they get a collective +50 because all 5 of them are there.

Everyone passes, except 'Eadmangla. 'Eadmangla is frozen in shock for a round until he unfucks himself. The ambull are not that difficult to deal with, but they are decently tough. Grakgut's power klaw eats through a number of them, while Kroz and his Snazzgun / Servosquig smash through a few more. Grisbane takes one down while Wazgor retreats after getting ganked. As most of the ambull fall, the last one rushes into the docking bay, and what happens next is unexpected.

>> No.16447566
File: 554 KB, 531x792, Gloomhaunt.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
16447566

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPxh6RW8r7M

A tiny shape rushes down and hits the ambull in the face. As the ambull attempts to claw it off, Kroz and 'Eadmangla shoot the Ambull. The Ambull falls, but not before the corpse becomes blackened. The Kill Team has found what's been killing the priests. Looking closer, the thing appears to look like a Gloomhaunt, but with translucent wings and slightly larger. A number of the Energy Haunts now rush the players.

The Energy Haunts are much weaker than the Ambulls, but what makes them so dangerous is their Energy Siphon. When they charge and attack in melee, they stick on your face, and drain 1d5 wounds a round, without armor or toughness, and restore it to themselves. A number of them charged in, and stuck to the players. I offered some potential solutions - try Strength test to get it off then a melee attack, or an agility test and then a ranged attack. But they solved it in the most Orky way possible.

They started hitting themselves in the face.

I was proud.

Grakgut smashed his head against a rock until the Energy Haunt died. Grisbane took his Chainswords and chained himself until he killed the Energy Haunt. Kroz hit himself with his choppa, choppin' the Energy Haunt, and then shot 'Eadmangla in the face with his snazzgun, nearly killing him but at least removing the Energy Haunt.

Upon taking out the immediate energy haunts, the kill team looks up to note a crashed transport, and hundreds of the haunts surrounding it. They also notice the Plasma reactor is exposed. 'Eadmangla and Kroz both attempt to shoot it. 'Eadmangla misses, but Kroz gets a lucky hit which detonates the transport and the Energy Haunts. They pose like a team with the explosion in the backdrop.

>> No.16447577
File: 251 KB, 566x800, ork goggles.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
16447577

Leaving the catacombs, one of the priests runs up to the Kill Team.
"...is it over?" he asks.
""Dat, wuz gud fightin." says Kroz.
"You'ze Ambulls and da bat fings iz gone. Da reaktor too!" adds Grakgut.
"Oh thank the Emperor," the priest sighs, "I don't know how much more stress I can take..."
"DO NOT WORRY, SMALL 'UMIE. DA EMPERAH SEZ GUD: EVEN IF DA ROKK IS FULL OF 'BAD ENEMIES, DEREZ ALWAYS FINGS YOU SHUD PROTEKT." states Kroz.
The priest's eyes go wide at the wisdom. At that moment, the players' voxcasters chime in.
"Oy, boss! It'z Pliskin! We'ze got da loot! We gotta go afore dey notice!" whispers Pliskin.

The Kill Team gets back in the Last Danca as Lifta Droppas collect the Rok Pods and smaller transports collect the loot.
"GRAB YER BALDS! IZ TIME FOR FASTA!" yells Kroz as he flies back up to The Looted Krooza.

Returning to the ship, the party returns to their respective quarters. At this point, I ask who has a charm.

>> No.16447604
File: 5 KB, 199x176, Ork Trollface.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
16447604

"I'z got one! All gud Deffskullz do!" says Kroz.

As Kroz reloads his guns and puts down his stuff, he hears a chirp.
"WOZZAT? IZ GOTS A DAKKA... WOTS A CHIRP?"
Turning around, Kroz sees a tiny Energy Haunt. It flies around for a bit. If it had eyes it would almost seem like it was staring directly at Kroz.
"... dats not a squig..." says Kroz.
The Haunt chirps.
"Uh... youze eat grots den?" asks Kroz.
The Haunt flies around in circles, and then chirps.
"Okay, I guess..." says Kroz,
The Haunt flies into one of the vents as Grakgut and 'Eadmangla walk in.
"Oi! Let da ting stay!" says Grakgut who walks in.
"Kill it! Dem fings eat face!" yells "Eadmangla.
"Iz gunna call it... BOTTOL BRUTHA Boldo" says Kroz.
"I wunda if We kan use it to make ENURGEE SQUIGS!" ponders Grakgut.
"I'z not sleepin' tonite..." sighs 'Eadmangla.

Pliskin then contacts the players, summarizing loot. They received 750 XP and 3 Profit Factor. Being 1:30 AM, we called it there.

>> No.16447623
File: 17 KB, 400x300, 239756325.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
16447623

>>16447566

>They started hitting themselves in the face.

>> No.16447637

>>16447360
>>16447389
>>16447402
>>16447423
>>16447438
>>16447447
>>16447463
>>16447486
>>16447495
>>16447510
>>16447532
>>16447566
>>16447577
>>16447604
By the gods, it's beautiful.
I commend you, good sir, and all of the sirs who game with you.

>> No.16447653
File: 172 KB, 900x900, Ork Trader.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
16447653

Overall, it was a fun session, though it took a bit since the IRC server died at the last 15 minutes or so. Our next session should be next Monday at 7:30 PM EST, barring unforeseen consequences. It's always craziness on Deffwotch...

>> No.16447658
File: 22 KB, 304x319, FOOTBALL.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
16447658

>>16447566
Glorious.

>> No.16447693

>>16447623
>>16447658

It's quite funny. 'Eadmangla was brought down to 1 wound out of like 22 after the Energy Haunt and Kroz helping.

>> No.16447750
File: 16 KB, 469x320, M Bison.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
16447750

>> No.16447762

>>16447750

Forgot my text. I should also say that the Merchant has just about anything you can find, so I expect their power levels to go up significantly.

Explosions and pulse fire everywhere soon!

>> No.16447797

>>16447762

Iz dat proppa weapons for da boyz?

>> No.16447816

Sir, I would kill to have you as a DM.
However, I guess reading about you and your player's exploits will have to suffice.

In either case, bravo.

As an aside, did your first thread on this topic ever get archived? If it's on sup/tg/, it has eluded me, despite my best efforts.
On the chance it was not archived, does anyone have it saved in the form of text or a screencap?

>> No.16447831

>>16447797

Long as ya kustomize it proppa!

>>16447816

I believe they can be found on the Easymodo Archiver. At the end of the campaign I shall also release a Collected Visions of all the stories.

>> No.16447896
File: 20 KB, 410x385, 1304008456126.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
16447896

>>16447566

DA CODE AXE ASS FART EEZ ALWAYZ SEZ TA SMACK YE SELF IN DA FACE TA GETZ FINGS OFFA IT

>> No.16447919

>>16447896
Yea, always face your problems head on. Thats using the old noggin!

>> No.16448002

>>16447919

Orks have a head for that sort of thinking.

>> No.16448091
File: 488 KB, 750x750, 1316037148672.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
16448091

>>16447831
Yoo'z a gentilork anna shkolah.

>> No.16448113

This was amazing! Thank you good sir.

>> No.16448142

When the story is posted faster than you can read, you know it's good.

>> No.16448146

>>16447831
Oi red dat az:
>Oi beleev dey Kan be found on da' Easymodo Archeevah. At Da' end of da' campaign oi shall also releez a Kollected Visionz of all da storiez.
Wiff out even reloizen et' until Oiz rered et'.

Diz iz magik oi tellz ya'!

>> No.16448176

Why are the orks pretending to be humies?
also, I hope boldo becomes a Weirdboy Familiar

>> No.16448201

>>16448176
The orks are pretending to be 'ummies so dat day kin steal all da good fights from dem beakies for themselves!

>> No.16448234

>>16448201

And the humies they've met so far don't seem to be the brightest bulbs...

>> No.16448274

Da Codecks Astarteez don't find dis action propa orky.
oi called da inkwisitor.

>> No.16448376
File: 94 KB, 1022x768, brilliant.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
16448376

Goddamnit this just made my day.

>> No.16448389

>>16448274

Zog it, Leeyandross, you'z always muckin' about!

>> No.16448415

>>16448201
Dey wuzn't stealin' dem, dey wuz gifted dem.

>> No.16448438
File: 68 KB, 592x602, Boss Big Boss.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
16448438

>>16447495

>Boyz Without Bordaz

>> No.16448599

DIS `ERE TREAD IZ NUFFIN BUT GRUBBIN `EREZEY!!!! `AN WE ALL`Z KNOWZ WHUTZ DAT CALLZ FER!!! A BLAMMMIN!!

>> No.16448653

>>16448599

'Ow'z it 'eresy if weze fightin' an' winnin'?

>> No.16448704

>>16448653
OI WHYZ YOUZE QUESTININ DA KOMISSAR FER? FER DAT ANNUDER BLAMMIN FER EXTRA ERESY!!! AN ANUDDER FER MAKIN ME BLAM YEH AGIN YA GROTZ

>> No.16449264

Bump fer da WAAAGH!

>> No.16449428

>>16449264
Bit busy reading the previous thread:

http://archive.easymodo.net/tg/thread/16320989

>> No.16449677

Bump for late night

>> No.16452643
File: 200 KB, 1092x1534, kbluddflagg2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
16452643

erlee' mornin' bump for da gitz dat ain't seen it yet!

>> No.16452702
File: 1.77 MB, 300x174, laugh_blessed.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
16452702

>Grakgut begins having Uzgob make his armor pauldrons larger

I lost it here. Well played, OP.

>> No.16453013

>>16452702

If you lost it there, you probably died halfway through the story.

>> No.16453029

>>16453013
Nah, the actual business of shooting stuff and the RE4 reference were low points. The best comedy was in the first few posts.

>> No.16453063

>>16453029

I think Shas has said he always uses the Merchant in his games.

Still can't wait for next week.

>> No.16453119

>>16453063

More for simplicity than anything. It's easy on me. He may not have a few things in stock, but he's got pretty much everything else.

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