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File: 94 KB, 570x640, General Lord General Eastwood.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
16386370 No.16386370 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

These men are now your Imperial Guard Regiment's generals. WHat do?


>> No.16386386

Jesus Christ, Clint Eastwood does look like he'd belong in 40k

>> No.16386418

Lord General Pegg, all the way

>> No.16386427

Half of them could get the job done on their own, the other half will be slaughtered mercilessly (but gloriously) on the field of battle during their very first tour. Probably their first engagement, even.

>> No.16386457
File: 94 KB, 570x640, 19.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

How bout no....

>> No.16386473

Eastwood for Commisar Fuklaw. He curses just as much

Captcha: onlycoo LXVIII

>> No.16386474

Hey, I have nothing against Robert. The character of Edward is a fucking retard, but Robert is pretty cool. He only took the roll because he thought his co-star was hot and it was easy money. After he got the roll, he tried to read Twilight, but couldn't finish the first book; turns out he hates Edward too.

tldr; He's only a vampire for bitches and money. He hates Twilight.

>> No.16386481
File: 89 KB, 570x640, 13.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

We had served under Lord Commisar Sheen for many years, but his recent foray had every one of us questioning what he was thinking. Until he made us snort a 20x20 vat of cocaine each and we could see just as clearly as him.

>> No.16386491

Could use moar augmentics on faces.

>> No.16386498

i would follow this general to the ends of time and space

>> No.16386499
File: 102 KB, 570x640, 22.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

SHouldnt Jobs be admech?

>> No.16386508
File: 89 KB, 570x640, 17.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

"These children can fight just as well as any man, HEE HEE, SHAMOW!"

-Last words of General Jackson

>> No.16386522
File: 211 KB, 500x562, 1316578220479.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>> No.16386534


That fur coat.

>> No.16386538

Had an entire regiment of Whiteshields. We told him it was a bad idea, but he kept calling us racists and ignorant. I didn't understand.

>> No.16386543

these are fucking awesome

>> No.16386545


>> No.16386561
File: 82 KB, 570x640, 04.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

"You shall not pass!"
-Lord General McKellan, against the Bloodthirster Bal'roth, Battle of Khazad-Dum

>> No.16386571
File: 93 KB, 570x640, 08.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Fallen to chaos

>> No.16386584
File: 89 KB, 570x640, 14.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

His tactics were strange within themselves. Instead of actually going to war with the Orkz he always issued a challenge to their Goff Rockers that would end up in classic collaborations that would be remembered for centuries to come.

Some of which include, You Ain't Nothing but a Hellhound (Driver), Hearbreak Hive, and BlackShip Rock.

>> No.16386590

Take one look at this guy and tell me he doesn't fall to Slaanesh.

>> No.16386591

Lord Commander Solar Willis

>> No.16386610
File: 96 KB, 570x640, 12.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Hero of Mankind (also secret psyker)

>> No.16386612

>Sir Ian McKellan

I would follow this man to my grave. Look at his eyes. He has looked into the eye of terror. And it was the eye which blinked.

>> No.16386624
File: 98 KB, 570x640, 15.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

"Ya see, the Tau have these weapons of planetary destruction and we've got to use some of these here strategemaries to get them away from them."

When the weapons were not found he claimed that they had probably moved them and immediately began opening a mining operation on the planet.

>> No.16386628

he would narrate the entire war AS HE'S FIGHTING

>> No.16386630
File: 213 KB, 500x562, 1316582179318.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

"A gentlemen from a more civilized time, a more civilized world."

>> No.16386631

Pegg, Eastwood, Connery, Pattinson, Wood, Maguire, Damon and Crowe are the only ones who look like they might actually be members of the Russian aristocracy.

>> No.16386637

Truly, one of the Imperium's finest generals.

>> No.16386638
File: 239 KB, 868x1196, ChristopherLee_01.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

There is no Christopher Lee. Why is there no Christopher Lee? Only Lord Militant worth following.

Also, he can sing opera to the men to inspire them.

>> No.16386640
File: 98 KB, 570x640, generalconnery.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Confirmed for Macharius-tier.

>> No.16386642

I thought it was heavy metal he sang?

>> No.16386652

I dunno, Morgan Freeman seems a bit more like a planetary governor to me, of the good type. Pays his tithes, doesn't oppress people too much or too little. Always willing to lend an ear to any legitimate grievances. Gentle, fatherly disposition. Rules the type of world the entire Imperium ignores until it gets invaded by Orks.

>> No.16386657


Atm he's into metal yes, but he started his career as opera singer.

>> No.16386659

He's already part of the British Army

>> No.16386664
File: 96 KB, 570x640, 16.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

More like the entire army

>> No.16386669

What the hell, Lee also sings metal? Is there a thing this man cannot do?

>> No.16386675



I don't see what could go wrong. You know how those wily Qajars call our lord comissar "AL-NIMR" - THE TIGER (Blooded)

>> No.16386678
File: 159 KB, 300x358, 472809-fff_large.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>I dunno, Morgan Freeman seems a bit more like a planetary governor to me, of the good type. Pays his tithes, doesn't oppress people too much or too little. Always willing to lend an ear to any legitimate grievances. Gentle, fatherly disposition. Rules the type of world the entire Imperium ignores until it gets invaded by Orks.

>> No.16386681

Praise the lord! i was just going to comment on the lack of Sean, thanks anon.

>> No.16386690

It is easy to trust that man, because after all he's a winner with fucking blood of the tiger

>> No.16386695

not just any part of the army.... Lee was one of the SOE, the unit that later became the SAS.
apparently Peter Jackson got a bit unnerved when he was directing the death scenes of Saruman, and wormtongue was to stab him deeply in the neck or back, and he was to make a "blood-curdling scream" - only for Lee to point out that, actually people did'nt make that sort of noise when they were stabbed like that....

>> No.16386697
File: 41 KB, 350x393, Bill Murraynov.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Led 2 regiments of Imperial Guard into the Eye of Terror, was never seen again. Astropathic seances indicate he is currently trapped on a daemon world where he is forced to relive the same day over and over and over again.

>> No.16386698

Fell to slaanesh, it is whispered among some that he just jumped into a portal Doomrider opened to get back to the warp.

>> No.16386705

Nah, not the orks. He'd just teach them boxing, fold them into society, and then just cover the planet with fungicide when they all finally got fairly distracted by the sweet science.

It'd have to by 'nids...well, no, he'd convince them that they looked fat and make the hive mind an anorexic...

Hrm...necrons maybe?

>> No.16386717

>In b4 General Bush concocts a bullshit story about how a chaos-fallen planet possesses a plague weapon so that the Imperium can invade, overthrow, and pilfer its natural fuel resources...

>> No.16386730
File: 83 KB, 720x791, 1316578207432.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.16386738

It wouldn't be a Chaos planet. They are way too strong. And it was Tau that was chosen which is fitting because it's a small empire.

>> No.16386744

good point

>> No.16386750

No, High Lord of Terra.
You know it to be true.

>> No.16386803


Actually, wouldn't it make way more sense if he was a planetary governor invading a neighbouring planet because of supposed trachery against the Imperium?
Governors do fight against each other sometimes, right? Deatwatch says so?

>> No.16386823
File: 49 KB, 600x465, Img002.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

The Flagship of Governor Bush; the Misunderestimatus.

>> No.16386852

You, Sir, are amazing.

I'm imagining Governatus Bush (he does like to make terms up for himself) with his second in command, Commisar Cheney, having a discussion about Known Unknowns and Unknown Unknowns.

>> No.16386866
File: 90 KB, 570x640, tobey.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I don't know why but i get this image from him

Ambitious young general promoted early on due to political connections. His refusal to heed advisors during his first military campaign ended with an overwhelming defeat at the hands of an orkish invasion. Whispered rumors of corruption and madness.

>> No.16386873


Oh shit, considering how badly GWB messes up on English, imagine how he'd do in Latin, or 40k pseudo-Latin.

>> No.16386874


huh, what does Bruce Willis have to with anything

>> No.16386876

the mischievious eyes and impish smirk give credence to that sort of backstory.

>> No.16386878


That look he's got there makes me think there may be some Slaaneshi corruption going on here.

>> No.16386889


Commissar Cheney being a secret Chaos cultist, out to cause as much death and destruction as possible, of course.

'Now, Governatus...don't you agree that the Governor of Irex Secundus has a very...shifty-looking beard? He's probably in league with the Dark Powers... The Emperor would not want this to stand....'

>> No.16386895

Why do some of these Russian Generals have the Iron Cross 2nd class medal?

>> No.16386963


"What's the difference between your mother and an ork with the flu? One is a sick xeno... I forgot how the joke ends but your mother is a whore!"

>> No.16387000

Lord General Alan Rickman.

"A Chaos invasion. How droll. I presume we should deal with it, no? Charge, then, for the Emperor and all that."

He just doesn't give enough fucks to fight properly, but still wins every battle.

>> No.16387015
File: 84 KB, 570x640, 03.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I think he'd do better as an Inquisitor.

>> No.16387035

Some of these aren't really well made, but jesus Michael Jackson is surprisingly well done
it's like he's a true General

>> No.16387036


A hot-headed General named Russell Crowe.
He loves to lead but he loves one thing more,
To Fight Around the galaxy!

He fights his superiors and he fights his subordinates,
It’s a problem no one understands.
Purging Xenos
Purging Heretics
And Fightin’ Around the galaxy
(Russell Crowe!)

>> No.16387062

the award has existed since prussia was a country (1800's). Germany used it, but they didn't invent it.
So, uh . . . yeah

>> No.16387118

He's obviously Imperial Navy, not Imperial Guard.

>> No.16387124

>dat voice

I came everywhere.

>> No.16387201


A perverse traitor that seemed to walk the path of Slaanesh but ultimately was tainted by the great unclean one - all who idolize this man shall be branded heretics.

>> No.16387249


Clearly a heretek.

>> No.16387251


SLANESH: "Join us and we..."
CS: "I'M IN!"
SLANESH: "... are you sure you don't want to hear the rest of my speech?"

>> No.16387275

Do not discount Bruce Willis.

Any man who can wear a fur coat that pimping off the shoulder is not to be fucked with.

>> No.16387296

clearly an angry marine

>> No.16387300

One can fairly convincingly argue that Germany is nothing but renamed Prussia...

>> No.16387363

>Why do some of these Russian Generals have the Iron Cross 2nd class medal?

Wasn't it first awarded after Battle of Leipzig? Russia and Prussia fought on the same side in that battle, so probably some Russian generals were awarded it?

>> No.16387430


Yes, but Nurgle took him by the loins, denying Slaanesh of hir prize.

>> No.16387434

The iron Cross just looks too damn cool is all.

>> No.16387484


Grand General Sheen stood upon the plains of Caloris IV, surrounded by his command staff. The rebellion that had broken out in the planet had been particularly brutal. The Chaos cultists would consume maddening drugs that would drive them into cannibalistic rage, pouncing upon their own families and tearing them apart with hands, teeth, or whatever they had at hand. As the bloodlust receded, all that was left was a horde of possessed creatures, commanded by the sorcerers and cultists who had produced the drugs.

That was two months ago, and these same heretics had been apprehended, put in shackles, and had twice consecrated steel nailed into their hands and skulls so their psychic potential, whatever was there, could not be used against their captors.

>> No.16387530


You did it all wrong.

Slaanesh: Join me, I can give you such...

CS: Don't talk to me, I'm busy winning! I'm a Ecchlisary assassin warlock with the blood of a Catachan Devil!

Slaanesh: Check the records, make sure he's not already dedicated to me.

CS: I am a total fucking Martian Rockstar!

>> No.16387534

>Emperorsh Fury Schtanding by for exschturminatush

>> No.16387552


Grand General Sheen had, nonetheless, felt curious about such pitiful shows of treason toward the God Emperor. He strode into the ruined amphitheater that had been the last bastion of the rebellion, at the head of his retinue. Among them, a particularly fat cherub General Sheen fed wine once in a while for laughs, and an advisor who kept looking at the scenes of carnage and destruction around him, and cringing. The General had hoped to make a proper man out of him, but no results so far despite his efforts.

"Still, giving up would be lame."

"Yes, Charlie?"

The advisor hopped forward, always willing to listen to him. General Sheen grimaced. "Don´t call me that in front of the men! I don´t want them to start getting too familiar with me."

"Don´t want them to lose respect for you, Lord General?"


Specially the women. If they lost respect for him, they always tried to cling to him like they thought having a night-stand with a Lord General entitled them to a position higher up the chain of command. "Women..."

>> No.16387574

Did you know he does not shower at all? Seriously, he doesn't fucking shower. They often had to hose him down before they got on set.

>> No.16387595

Out of them all, who do you think saw the worst fighting, won most battles and is thre most senior general?

I'm voting Eastwood.

>> No.16387606



he knows the killing word

>> No.16387618

Either him or Connery!

>> No.16387620

>implying the imperium needs excuses to do this

>> No.16387640


The Guardsmen saluted and stepped aside as the General went up the steps and onto the stage, where the surviving leaders of the rebellion kneeled, hands tied behind their backs, shackles in place, and various kinds of holy signs painted, burned or nailed into their bodies. General Sheen looked at them and grinned.

"Wow, you all look pretty beat up. Can I do anything for you? Water, food, a bullet between your filthy, undeserving eyes?"

General Sheen grinned, made a pistol with his hand and pretended to shoot the prisoners with it, yelling "PEW PEW PEW!" loudly, his voice reverberating in the dark surroundings. As he laughed, a small, thin, bald man in purple robes stood up, showing a matching grin.

"Grand General Charlie Sheen! We´ve been waiting for your arrival!" The General raised his eyebrows, hooked his thumbs into his pants´ rim, and turned to his retinue, nodding enthusiastically as if he was telling them that, now, there was a man who appreciated him as he should be. He turned again to the cultist as the advisor sighed, and the fat cherub rolled his eyes.

"So why were you waiting for me? To watch me win over you?"

"No, my lord! To offer you a deal! Currently, we have double the forces you currently fought hidden all around us, waiting to spring into the attack and butcher your Guardsmen! Although that would not be necessary, should you join us..."

>> No.16387671

eagerly awaiting the finale

>> No.16387674

Fun fact: He did it to keep the Twilight fangirls away from him.

>> No.16387710


i am perfectly willing to believe this

I wonder how many restraining orders he has out on rabid fangirls and other hambeastly freaks

>> No.16387765

Easier ways to accomplish this than not bathing

Just spray yourself with chilispray, itll keep them away, and they won't lick anything...or is that for dogs?

>> No.16387815

Toby and Elijah look like Cavalry or Armcav commanders. Fresh, pampered. Brimlock style.

>> No.16387886

Clint Eastwood, a hard bitten Cadian General who has been fighting since the age of 7 in the Whiteshields.

>> No.16387897
File: 25 KB, 400x309, eastwood_orangutan.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Commander Eastwood loves jokaeros.

>> No.16387909


"Double the forces you say?" Sheen asked, grinning widely and happily. Oh man, he loved how cultists always failed to confront reality.

"Double the forces, lord! Your victory has earned you but a brief respite!" The cultist grinned right back despite the nail going through both sides of his mouth.

"I´ve already won once against you. I bet I can win again. And hey, if you outnumber us, it will be even more epic."

"But why risk that, my lord? Why risk your life when you can join Slaanesh and be sure that you can have all the pleasures in the galaxy? You will have the most exquisite women, the most delicious food, the most exiciting and arousing substances, that can only be brewed in the Secret Rooms of Hallatosse the Pleasure Maker?"

"Hallatosse? Sounds like a cough drops brand." The Lord General´s growing grin stole from the cultist´s disappearing one. "Look buddy, I have all the women I could want right here in the Guard, and they are not skanky whores with Warp-spawned STDs. I don´t want my dick sprouting crystals or anything. The food is fine too, ´cause I got my own cook. And as for drugs, I don´t need them. I am Lord Charlie Sheen Tigris the Second. The blood of tigers runs through my veins. Your poor, shitty imitations of the chemicals in my pure, human body ain´t worth a credit, buddy. The Emperor is all the drug I need."

The Lord General made a gesture back at his retinue. The cherub whistled, and a large, cybernetic animal advanced, and then jumped onto the stage, its weight making the wooden floor groan in pain. The Lord General briefly considered that with the crap these traitors trafficked, that figure of speech might be a little more literal than he´d like. The cultist stepped back and cowered on the floor, terrified of the creature.

"The Prince of Pleasure will destroy you for this, General Sheen! He will not suffer your insolence!"

>> No.16387921
File: 96 KB, 570x640, 07.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

What do you think about him? what might be his story?
Special forces? Military intelligence?

>> No.16387930


The traitor´s voice was a childish whine even as he kept throwing his empty threats at the General. Sheen brought his hands up, fingers spread out like claws. That gesture activated the cybernetic animal´s own claws, adamantium blades that slid out of its paws. As the general moved forward, lowering himself to the cultist´s level, his eyes threatening to pop out with the intensity of his stare, the animal did likewise, drooling at his master´s side. The cultist´s eyes were fixed on the drooling mouth.

"Told ya buddy, I´m not scared of your Pinch of Pasties. I´m a freaking tiger, man. If your Ponce of Pansies had a drop of my blood, his head would freaking blow up, man, and his mutated children would weep over his exploded body. RAAAARGH!"

>> No.16387936


When the General roared playfully, the cyber-tiger, the mascot and symbol of the noble Sheen family, tore into the cultist with jaw and claw, making the stage into a slaughterhouse as it finished its first prey and jumped onto the next. And the next. And the next. The cherub watched the proceedings with childish fascination and glee while the General´s advisor rushed to a corner to vomit.

Lord Sheen slapped his hands together, as if he was dusting them off, and walked off the stage. "Hey, stop my baby from killing all of them. I want to find that Hallatosse dude."

"To put a stop to his drug creation and trafficking, my lord?" The cherub asked.

>> No.16387942

I prefer to think of Clint (can I call him that? Mr Eastwood?) as rising as a Guardsman much like he did as an actor. Starts off kinda basic, not the hard-bitten badass we know at first, but then something happens fairly young in his life. He toughens up, he has to close parts of himself off. He's still compassionate and unable to truly ignore the cries of the weak and helpless, but he has to bury that because of those he works with and works under. He rises further, he isn't just a good soldier, he's a noted one. And he keeps rising and trying to do what he can to help those in need when he can. He doesn't open an orphanage and soak in the warm feelings -- he can't. He has to maintain what he has for everyone's sake. But if a woman and child are in danger and he can ensure their safety, he will. If a dying soldier of the enemy is breathing his last breaths and looks longingly upon the cigar that Clint is smoking, he will grant that last amenity to a foe. He doesn't forget, but he may forgive. He will use, but he will not abuse. His reputation as a commander and soldier earn him a legacy that will be recognized for centuries to follow.

Yeah, I'd follow him.

>> No.16387958
File: 36 KB, 496x550, guardsmen.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Clint Eastwood Imperial Guard General


>> No.16387960


The General stopped, turned, and looked at the cherub with tightened lips, obviously annoyed. "... duh! How weak would it be for a loyal servant of the Emperor to try that crap? But we´ll have to.. uh... prepare some samples for the Magos Biologis, I guess. Plenty of samples. They´ll go through that stuff quick, you know..."

The cherub accessed its databases and prepared a file with outside edition permission for when some Magos Biologis apprentice accidentally a whole crate of drugs, and a letter in which he would start writing an excuse for why the Lord General could not come to the planet´s liberation feast.

And an order for extra doughnuts. If the General could take some liberties...


>> No.16387962


Turns out he was a small time Slaanesh Cultist who regularly used his Rogue Trader connections to find ways to avoid actual combat.

Unfortunately this was only ever found out posthumously and his entire regiment had to be purged for fear of corruption.

>> No.16387966

Stormtrooper Colonel

>> No.16387967

ho is he supposed to be?

>> No.16387989


Marbo's commander.

>> No.16387993


Well thats fairly implied dont you think? Cadian Whiteshields. The whole BLACKCRUSADE thing that goes on. Been fighting chaos since a young age. They were just drills. But it became all to real. At the age of 12 he watched his home, Kasr Gale burn to the ground as the laughter of dark gods echoed through the air

>> No.16388004


Officio Assassinorum Agent. Frequently undercover inside of various Guard Regiments in order to root out heretics and spies.

>> No.16388043
File: 121 KB, 468x349, Mr Bean WTF.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

How come Rowan Atkinson isn't here? Come on, perfect Ogryn or Ratling commander.

>> No.16388053

I'm not sure I see him so much in the IG as an Inquisitor. He would make a hell of an Inquisitor.

>> No.16388091

Well why not Hugh Laurie? Jeremy Clarkson? James May? Richard Hammond? John Cleese? Simon Pegg? (Just for the British side of stuff, and I'm forgetting the names of the other two surviving major Python actors)

There's no shortage of good actors and personalities out there, lets not get up in arms about who isn't here yet.

>> No.16388112


Jeremy Clarkson is an ork. Eh' likes da red 'uns. 'is fastest boy iz "da stquig"

>> No.16388177

Or is you look at his Black Adder stuff...

>> No.16388206


Tank Commander Clarkson.

>> No.16388234 [DELETED] 

Simon Pegg the 2nd one there.

>> No.16388246

The Stig as a tank commander always leading the charge via the fastest machine on hand. Then one day given a warhound titan...

>> No.16388267


He's like a mechanized Eversor. They keep him in stasis until he's needed, and he's trained in the use of every known vehicle.

>> No.16388290

So who could lead a penal legion?

>> No.16388366
File: 180 KB, 900x900, putinsleep-small.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


His thumbnail looks like Putin. One can only imagine what he'd be like... And Teddy Roosevelt...

>> No.16388373

Mentioning some names not mentioned

Sly Stallone
Jason Statham
Keanu Reaves
Patrick Swayze
Bill Gates
Gary Gygax
Tim Curry
Tom Cruise
Tom Jones
Jacki Chan
Bruce Lee
Mr Rogers
Wesley Snipes
Samuel L Jackson

>> No.16388491
File: 88 KB, 570x640, 02.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Lord General Pegg at your service.

>> No.16388513
File: 208 KB, 726x506, Mr Rogers 1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Mr Rogers
>IG Regiment general
How do we make this work?

>> No.16388535
File: 47 KB, 1024x768, 1310518430075.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Tim curry would make for a great pic.
Got him in the soviet uniform form RA3, try working with that.

>> No.16388538


Morgan is definitive Lords of Terra material.

He is no warrior or hero, he is just the man who have money and clout enough to screw over anyone.

>> No.16388541

No. Mr Rogers is a Commissar. Or an Inquisitor. Not a General.

>> No.16388554


>Jason Statham
Known for leading the charge in his personal Chimera, often disembarking ahead of his troops to start the fight.

>Keanu Reaves
Psyker-turned commander. Known best for, as his advisor called it, "Excellent Adventrure," a crusade against the Necrons, where Commander Reaves punched a Lord so hard it phased out.

>Bill Gates
Rogue Trader. Often traffics in machines and technology. Became richest man in a sector when he discovered an STC fragment for a computing device to replace the out-dated "Apple" AdMech creation.

>Gary Gygax
Fallen to Khorne worship. Was known best for his tactics planning based on movement squares. Ignored said plans for the "Battle of Horrors," in which he willingly say his men killed en mass for the blood god.

>Tim Curry
Minor Noble. Awarded title of commander for his work tracking down and subduing the previous commander's escaped Tyranid. Nicknamed the "Detective."

>Tom Cruise.
A mediocre commaning officer at one time, he has since fully embraced the dark gods. His fleet now travels, spreading the work of Chaoscientology,

>Jackie Chan
Planetary Governer. When his Agri-World was set upon by Orks, he attempted to be peaceful with them, saying that he "wants no trabble." The Orks were single-handedly stopped when they attacked the Ladders, Rope, and Chair Manufactorum that the Governer was touring with his baby.

>Bruce Lee
Eversor Assassin. Once bested deamon price Norris in combat, and was given titles and honors for it, sadly passed away and exploded.

>Samuel L. "Motherfucking" Jackson
Fleet commander. When Ork freebootas assaulted his flagship, he personally lead the crew in pushing them off and ending the Ork piracy in the sub-sector. His rallying cry, "I am sick of these motherfucking Orks on my motherfucking battlebarge!" is now his force's chant whenever Orks are fought, much to his chagrin.

>> No.16388582

>Mr. Rogers as comissar
>His regiment is always good and loyal to the empra
>Never killed one of his mens
>Everybody loves him

>> No.16388591

So is Patrick Stewart. These two were always the more civilzed men out of the bunch.

>> No.16388594

>The Orks were single-handedly stopped when they attacked the Ladders, Rope, and Chair Manufactorum that the Governer was touring with his baby.
Da zoggin foolz... if only dey knew before 'and...

>> No.16388612
File: 94 KB, 570x640, 05.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

And here is Tom Cruise.

>> No.16388647

Pretty good effort!

>> No.16388681

Yeah, hate the story, not the actor, he's actually pretty cool guy who doesn't look half as douchebaggy when he doesn't play a douchebag vampire.

>> No.16388717

>Robert De Niro
A passable general, more suited to diplomatic and political work than combat, but is general thought of well by troops.
>Simon Pegg
A plucky, inexperienced but creative guerilla tactician.
>Alan Rickman
A careful plotter and somewhat brutal general, but always gets the job done and tries to minimise casualties where possible.
>Sir Ian McKellan
A respected, wise old commander far beyond his time in combat, and high up in the ranks.
>Tom Cruise
A stuck up, somewhat fanatical highborn commander.
>Matt Damon
A practical but lowborn tank commander who tries to keep up a dashing and charming image to fit in with the officers.
>Daniel Craig
An accomplished swordsman and marksman, but is taking well to his newly promoted position.
>Russell Crow
A bloodthirsty and borderline psychopathic general used in attacks and guerilla movements. The enemy usually don't allow themselves to be captured by his troops.
>Tobey Maguire
An eager young officer recently trained in an Imperial military college. He is yet to taste any real combat and is somewhat conflicted and constantly worried about potentially ordering men to their deaths.
>Bruce Willis
A former infantry bruiser turned artillery and engineers commander. Has a distinct love of explosives. Is an uncle to his men and has a distinct bravado.
>Elijah Wood
A rising star of a commander, but is somewhat insecure about himself.
>Morgan Freeman
A Lord Commander who has fought for and captured at least twenty worlds, many of them death worlds. He's seen some shit and maintained his sanity throughout, and is generally seen as a hero.

>> No.16388810

>Charlie Sheen
A mad general, generally over-eager to get to the fight and quite delusional. Despite this, through sheer luck, mad genius and the help of his aides, he has managed to win two campaigns already. Some wonder how long his luck will keep up.
>Elvis Presley
A soldier who fought in a particularly famous, bloody and violent campaign and emerged a hero above all others, his accomplishments told of throughout so many sectors.
>George W. Bush
An old, jingoistic, overeager and particularly incompetent general. He hasn't been executed yet purely because he has family in high places, but his assignments are becoming increasingly fewer.
Arnold Schwarzenegger
>A Catachan who was the sole survivor of his regiment after a special mission. He's a man of few words. The last officer to ask exactly how he survived was beaten unconscious with a chair leg. It's for him and his profile to know.
>Michael Jackson
A flamboyant commander who has more than once been investigated for heresy, but the investigations were always brushed away with no evidence. He's often an aide to more experienced generals.
>Clint Eastwood
A true killer, a stern commander, but a friend and close ally to each one of his men. Is seen fighting on the frontline with boltgun in hand just as much as each rank and file troop, and despite his age, has survived every time.
>Robert Pattinson
A blundering, easily led socialite fool who falls in with the rest of the officers.
>Sean Connery
A former heroic poster boy for the special forces, he has now mellowed out in his old age and resigned to the campaign room. He has remained an abrupt and jovial man, however.
>Al Pacino
A well known politically motivated tactician with an iron fist.

>> No.16388815

You can't bring Mr. Rogers in. He'll ruin the entire setting. There'll be only kindness and understanding

>> No.16388822

>Steve Jobs
A former rogue trader who people find unsettling to be around. He's self-serving, sadistic, and unnervingly quiet. They've heard rumours of the things he's done to the enemy, and his own troops, and they border on heresy... But her gets the job done.

>> No.16388842

Mr. Rogers would end up ruining the setting by bringing about peace.

>> No.16388861



>Inb4 someone suggests Commissar Rogers was executed for heresy, then a bunch of fa/tg/uys rage.

>> No.16388886

Didn't George want to be, like, a baseball announcer, but they wouldn't let him so he became president instead?

This sounds like the most potentially hilarious general background ever.

>> No.16388907

Dubya did own the Texas Rangers (not sure if he was just majority or the sole owner), and he managed to fuck that team over severely through some really, really horrible personnel decisions.

>> No.16388914

Now that I think about it it might have been the Houston Astros...one of the Texas teams anyway.

>> No.16389010

>Charlie Sheen
>managed to win two campaigns already

Please can we make this two and a half?

>> No.16389102

It was more a bi-winning reference, but sure.

>> No.16389183

Or that he was killed half-way through his third.
Nothing was left of him but ash.

>> No.16389345

Needs more Liam Neeson

>> No.16389849


>> No.16390429

actually no bush did an amazing job as the rangers owner, revamped the stadium and helped re-build the fan base which had almost fallen apart. it was because of this massive business success that people thought he would make a good govenor for texas, they figured if he could do a good job on a baseball team then CLEARLY running a state would be no problem.

spoiler (they were wrong)

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