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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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[ERROR] No.15931076 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Daddy died when I was little. He was just a woodsman who lived outside the town. I don't remember him.

My mum was the cook for a roadside inn on the side of a mountain. When it was Summer, we would cook sweet pumpkin pies which the travellers could smell miles away. In Winter, hearty beef casseroles that warmed even the coldest of patrons. In Springtime, we would go out in the field and gather wildberries for jam.

When I was nine, mum fell sick and died. I still cooked for a little while, but bandits took over the inn a few days after my tenth birthday and I ran away.

I don't know how long I've been in the woods. Every now and then I sneak back and steal supplies from the bandits, some flour or sugar or a new ladle, and I cook a pie or a soup in my cave, just like mum and I used to. It's nice not feeling lonely for a little while, but I have to cook more and more so I don't feel alone these days.

I wish I had someone to cook with, someone who had a real pot and good meat. Then we could be happy, and we could travel far away from the cave and the bandits.

I hope every night before I go to sleep that... that a nice person will... find me...

>> No.15931142

You're still out there?!

NOOOOOOOOOUUAAAAAGHARGHARGH!!!

>> No.15931173

Hello there, little girl. Can you hear me?

>> No.15931183

>>15931173
Oh! Don't worry about the glare, your eyes will adjust in no time.

>> No.15931192

I'd have to be the good guy in a DM pulled that, though I'd have to drop the kid off at the next town.

>> No.15931195

YOUR STORY MAKES KHORNE WEEP IN SORROW

AND ANGER


MOSTLY ANGER


KHORNE WILL LET YOU COOK TASTY PIE AND SOUP USING THE FIRES OF MY RAGE


YOU CAN PLAY WITH KHORNES PUPPIES IF YOU LIKE.

>> No.15931197

There we go. Hi, I'm Luna! You may remember me from such divine portfolios as TRICKERY, SURVIVAL and BEING THE MOON.

And let me say, I've got some good news for you...!

>> No.15931208

>>15931195
Shut up, you. I found her first.

>> No.15931215

>>15931197


THIS IS MY CUTE LITTLE GIRL! GET YOUR OWN

>> No.15931220

>>15931195
She better know how to cook skull cakes

>> No.15931227

I HAVE LEARNT THAT BRIGHT SHINY PEOPLE ARE BAD.

I AM NOT BRIGHT OR SHINY, THEREFORE I AM A GOODGUY.

>> No.15931232

>>15931215
Oh, sure. Let me just remove this autonomous fragment of divine Essence over which I've already relinquished my control...

...oops!

>> No.15931241

Wait, I thought he was a dude.

I was going to train him in axe fighting and adventuring, too.

>> No.15931252

Hey guys whats going on in this thre

Oh god, the laughing, it doesn't stop for some reason, its not even that funny Holy shit.

>> No.15931253

>>15931241
It's animu so you cansider it to be both female and male

>> No.15931254

>>15931227
>>15931232

>> No.15931258

>Implying those bandits aren't Zehir cultists
>Implying I shouldn't change "aren't" with "weren't"
>Implying I'm not making you an acolyte in the church of Nusemnee
>Implying I didn't buy you a toy execution axe so you can be just like your big bro Avenger Frost.

>> No.15931270

>>15931241
Fun fact: correcting that mistake is now just a Knack away.

That is, if she wants to.

>> No.15931279

>>15931227
>>15931232
Come now you two. Let the child come spend some time cooking with Grandfather Nurgle.

>> No.15931293

>>15931258
>IMPLYING I HAVE NOT CHOSEN THE MORTAL FOR GREATNESS IN THE EYE OF KHORNE


I AM THE STRONGEST AND I HAVE MARKED THIS ONE, THEY WILL MAKE PIES! PIES FOR THE PIE THRONE.

THE PIE THRONE IS WHERE I EAT PIE.

>> No.15931295

Okay David we came up with a plan for that girl you're sending us, but we need you to answer those few questions first.

1. Can she fit inside a bag of holding ?
2. Can we strap a large sized heavy crossbow to her back and use her as a mobile balista ?

>> No.15931301

>>15931270

I don't know about the other girl, but I want to hear more about this offer... may I sit in?

>> No.15931302

Ah, I'm late for the party.

Heh. Anyone want some LSD?

>> No.15931320

>>15931293
FUCK YOU, I'M A SNAKE MAN.

ALSO MY AXE IS BETTER THAN YOURS.

>> No.15931321

Little one, the first thing I'm teaching you is Improved Grapple...

>> No.15931322

>>15931076
Oh, hey, a child.

Not a big fan of children.

Like, at all.

Anyways, GTFO of my forest. Don't you know this forest is part of Assholia? Stay here and you'll get raped to death!

>> No.15931331

>>15931293
Pies you say? I don't think I've tried these before. Something new to indulge in between lines of cocaine and orgies perhaps?

>> No.15931332

>>15931302

SLAANESH YOU CANDLESNIFFING FUCK FENCE GO CLIMB A WALL OF DICKS! YOU CANNOT GIVE CHILDREN LSD! THAT IS BAD!

>> No.15931333

>>15931195
Thats pretty good

the rest of you are faggots, go to /b/ for that shit

>> No.15931341

ALRIGHT YOU DICK-SHITTING MOTHERFUCKERS, WE'RE BURNING THIS FOREST DOWN ASAP! MOVE YOUR ASSES, PEOPLE, WE'VE GOT XENOS TO FIGHT!

>> No.15931358

>>15931332
And why not? I'm sure the kid will enjoy it, why not let her have a ride on the magic dragon?

>> No.15931376

>>15931358
BECAUSE DRAGONS SUCK

AND MAGIC SUCKS

SO MAGIC DRAGONS SUCK.

LEAVE THE CHILD BE TO JUST BAKE PIES IN HAPPINESS IN MY BIG AWESOME BATTLEHOUSE.

>> No.15931379

Hello servitor-capable child. There are sugar products on my starship.

>> No.15931389

>>15931379
No there aren't, don't listen to this guy, kid.

Now, MY ship on the other hand...

>> No.15931406

Hey kid, which way to the Eye of Terror?

Oh, don't touch that tree, it's actually a Land Raider.

>> No.15931411

no one touches the child

>> No.15931427

>>15931376
Well fine. More drugs for me then.

>> No.15931434

>>15931427
Oooooh. Give me some.

>> No.15931439

Come child. You can play with the this puppy in the green pool over there.

Just ignore the stinging. It's supposed to feel like that.

>> No.15931445

Say kid want to learn how to build giant robots and steal things that don't belong to you?

>> No.15931454

I approve of sweet baked things, human child.

>> No.15931455

WTF is going on in this thread?

>> No.15931457

Come human, I shall take you to cook for the Greater Good!

>> No.15931459

Little girls are such fun!

>> No.15931461

>>15931411
YOU CANNOT TELL ME WHAT TO DO KENSHIRO!

>> No.15931467

>>15931455
(SHIT, EVERYONE ACT CASUAL)

Uh, nothing. Nothing at all.

>> No.15931479

>>15931455

EVERYTHING IS FINE.

I AM NOT KHORNE THE BLOOD GOD.

>> No.15931480

>>15931461
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCWbl8ajfA8&feature=related

>> No.15931481

>>15931467
Right, well then, see you later.

>> No.15931484

Okay toots, me and my buddy Sam can get ridda those bandits for ya, but we don't do this for free.

We'll need a free week at that inn when we're done, with all food on the house.

Whaddaya say?

>> No.15931485

>>15931455
Uh.... nothing sir.
I heard someone mention Squats a few planets over though.
Perhaps you should go investigate.

>> No.15931486

WHAT DID YOU DO IN THE FALL, FUCK FOR THREE MONTHS?

>> No.15931495

>>15931076
FROM THE ASHED OF YOUR LIFE I WILL FORGE YOU INTO SOMETHING STRONGER.

And by that, I mean you will fight wolves.

>> No.15931496

>>15931195
Pretty sure she can't subsist on raw meat and boiling blood, Khorne.
Also I'm pretty sure your puppies would use her as a cocksleeve and/or eat her.

>> No.15931500

>>15931495
KORDAMNIT ASHES

>> No.15931502

>>15931495
We'll have to break her legs first though.

>> No.15931510

>>15931481
All too easy,

>> No.15931512

>>15931481
Whew. Dodged a bullet there.

Cocaine, anyone?

>> No.15931515

>>15931496
KHORNE HAS A VARIED AND HEALTHY DIET, OTHERWISE HE WOULD BE UNHEALTHY AND UNABLE TO WAGE WAR

AND KHORNE HAS WELL TRAINED HOUNDS!

>> No.15931517

>>15931496
When Khorne tells his puppies that they will SIT THE FUCK DOWN AND PLAY WITH THE SMALL CHILD

THEY
SIT
THE
FUCK
DOWN

Also unbeknownst to you Khorne uses all that blood to make excellent bludsausage, and merely needs to change his kitchens a little to accommodate her.

Also he is the single entity least likely likely to, in any meaning of the word, physically or mentally rape the child.

>> No.15931521

>>15931515
Bones don't count as vegetables, Khorne.

>> No.15931530

>>15931512
What is this strange substance? Can it be used for something?

>> No.15931531

>>15931521
THEY DO IF YOU'RE NOT A GODDAM PUSSY.

>> No.15931532

>>15931502
NO, BREAKING HER LEGS WILL SEVERELY IMPACT ON WOLF KILLING

>> No.15931535

>>15931411

Yeah, I bet you want to do all the touching yourself...

>> No.15931537

>>15931530
Try some and find out :P

>> No.15931548

>>15931517
Thing about his puppies is, to them, like all of Khorne's daemons, if you can't kick the shit out of them in single combat (which is what they consider "playing"), they're free to do awful things to you.
Otherwise, they'd have ignored her, but Khorne told them to play.

>> No.15931574

>>15931548
KHORNE'S PUPPIES KNOW HOW TO PLAY FETCH

THEY DON'T EVEN NEED TO KILL!

>> No.15931578

>>15931548
But the thing they respect most, Khorne, told them to be nice. And not the shitty 'verbal' way, he probably would do it by BLASTING the knowledge of what they wont do into their minds.

Or he'd kidnap good caretakers in a daemonic invasion just for her, securing her happiness and indulging in galactic murder.
>you are now imagine that the true reason Khorne participates in the Black Crusades is to get toys and normal friends for Khorne's little friend.

>> No.15931579

deer mum

tadayz wen i wuz owt on patroll i founded a little hoomin girl inna hole, she wuz da tastiest ting ive eetin in a big lotta dayz

all da udder gobblins was mad dat i dint share but i tols dem, i fownd her i gedda eet her

- luv grugbuk

>> No.15931582

>>15931548
WATCH ME LITTLE ABANDONED ORPHAN URCHIN BEGGAR CHILD

THEIR ARE MANY VARIED WAYS YOU MAY FIGHT WOLVES. MY FAVORITE TACTIC INVOLVES A BITCH. I DO NOT KNOW WHICH OF THESE WOLVES ARE FEMALE SINCE THEIR PRIMORDIAL ESSENCE SEEMS TO STEM FROM PURE AND UTTER RAGE AND LACKS FOR SEX SO I'LL USE THE FIRST ONE I GRAB.

STEP ONE: GRAB IT BY THE THROAT AND SQUEEZE. STEP TWO: DO NOT STOP. REPEAT STEP TWO UNTIL DEAD. NOW YOU KNOW HOW TO CHOKE A BITCH.

>> No.15931584

>>15931535

>> No.15931597

>>15931579
And this is why everyone hates Orks.

>> No.15931603

>>15931574
Again, fetching skulls and/or weaklings that kill innocents or run from battle is not generally the way children play.

>> No.15931607

Oh, look at the poor child father. Can we keep her?

>> No.15931610

ALL I WANTED WAS SOMEONE TO BAKE PIES WITH WHY ARE YOU ALL FIGHTING HOLY SHIT EVERYONE CALM DOWN AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY CAVE HOLY SHIT EVEN THAT ONE DUDE WITH THE EYE PATCH THAT SPAT IN THE FLOUR ISN'T AS BAD AS YOU ASSHOLES.

...


CHRIST.

>> No.15931616

Well, you don't look like much of a hero to me, but we here at The Guild can change that.

Come along with me, little girl. There is training to be done.

>> No.15931620

>>15931578
But... his daemons are literally made of violence. How would they play nice?
The caretaker thing works, though I imagine sitting at the base of a brass throne on a mountain of skulls is hard on the psyche.
Think is, khornettes exist, actually, in canon. The daemon prince of Khorne in Bloodquest had daemon concubines he mentioned.

>> No.15931622

>>15931537
I think I will.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
HOLY SHIT, I"M TRIPPING BALLS HERE!

>> No.15931625

Reasons why Khorne is the best Chaos God father

1. Tzeentch is a dick. Seriously, the only reason he'd be nice is to cultivate love and affection, which at just the right time he'd brutally crush her hopes and dreams by killing her and everything she loves in front of her first. He'd then switch a tape of this even with the next porn you download or watch, while sending the actual porn to your grandmother. He's a dick.

2 Slannesh. Come on.

3 Nurgle. Nurgle seems friendly, but ultimately he is a god of entropy and despair, and his followers ALL rot to nothingness eventually. Not a healthy environment for a non-nurgling child.

4. Khorne. Khorne teaches children that the best way to solve problems is to hit them until either they or you are no longer there. It makes for decisive kids, good for the business world.
And Khorne inspired the Administratium, so warriors could get themselves and ammo from world to world to further the endless tide of blood Khorne savors.

>> No.15931630

>>15931532
How else do you propose we bind her to a wheelchair then?

>> No.15931632

>>15931610
Don't worry, little girl, we're going to bake all kinds of pies. Among other things.

>> No.15931639

>>15931610

TRUELY SHE IS A CHILD OF MINE!

>> No.15931645

>>15931622
I know, right?

You can use it as a power source for fleshlights, you know.

>>15931632
You, my dick, now.

>> No.15931646

Join me, I will teach you to outdo every single one of these people.

>> No.15931648

>>15931625
Hey, Nurgle's kind of sort of nice to Isha.
And by that I mean he rapes her, but he loves her all the same. So I'm sure the child would be a lot safer in his pestilent garden than in Khorne's realm of blood and death.

>> No.15931649

>>15931620
That is why there are multiple black crusades. Khorne needs replacements for his daughters friends every once in a while. It is really awkward explaining how they all keep running off to band camp though.

Or, sad version, the BCs are meant to get Khorne a new daughter/son, because they inevitably get killed by recklessness, and Khorne needs someone to calm his grief-rages least he drive Chaos into eternal civil war, paralyzing it entirely.

>> No.15931650

>>15931620
Exactly why she should be with me. She could help me spread my joyous gifts to all through her cooking!

>> No.15931654

>>15931645
But Slaanesh, I'm trying to defile the little girl.

>> No.15931657

>>15931616
Your health is low. Do you have any potion,s or food? Your health is low. Do you have any potion,s or food? Your health is low. Do you have any potion,s or food? Your health is low. Do you have any potion,s or food?

GYAAAAAAAAA! SHUT UP NOW!

>> No.15931658

>this child
>10 years later

>> No.15931661

>>15931654
NOW.

And have some of this meth, there's a good boy.

>> No.15931663

>>15931649
Probably the latter. I don't see him not accidentally killing the child.
And Chaos is already in an eternal civil war.
It's not like the gods particularly care about the Materium.

>> No.15931669

>>15931649
>>15931650

I HAVE A LARGE AND AWESOME FORTRESS, APART FROM SOME DICK SPACE MARINE WALKING AROUND PUSHING OVER MY TABLES IT IS A PERFECTLY SAFE PLACE

WHERE ELSE IS SAFER THAN A HUGE FORTRESS?

>> No.15931670

>>15931661
Fiiiine.
I needed that, I had too much blood in my drugstream.

>> No.15931673

My father... he was a woodsman too

>> No.15931674

Little girl, join your essence. Join The Malarial Void.
You are, after all, the mosquitoes.

>> No.15931675

>>15931645
MUST GET MORE COCAINE!

>> No.15931676

>>15931657

TRY TO GET YOUR COMBAT MULTIPLIER EVEN HIGHER

>> No.15931680

>>15931669
How many times do you accidentally step on people, Khorne?
Just ballpark it.

>> No.15931685

>>15931658
>this child 10 years after that

>> No.15931686

>>15931669
An impenetrable one.

>> No.15931687

>>15931675
I can give you some cocaine if you want.

But what do I get in return?

>> No.15931691

>>15931686
Shut up, Dorn, you're dead.

>> No.15931693

>>15931657
Hero! your combat modifyer is getting even higher!

>> No.15931696

>>15931685

>> No.15931697

>>15931680
I ONLY STEP ON PEOPLE WHEN I MEAN IT

THATS ALOT BUT THIS IS DIFFERENT

>> No.15931700

>>15931687
Martial perfection maybe?

Baring that, I have some of these humans called "Sisters of Battle." Would you take them for cocaine?

>> No.15931706

>>15931691

Oh. Well, this is a bit awkward.

>> No.15931708

>>15931696
Anymore?

>> No.15931711

>> No.15931718

>>15931711

Oh great. now the whiteknights are going to pop out of the woodwork

>> No.15931721

>>15931700
Ooooooo.

What do you think, loyal slave? Shall I trade cocaine to this creature?

I don't really care about your opinion, I'm just asking to be polite.

We'll take the Sisters!

Might I interest you in some Heroin as well?

>> No.15931724

>>15931697
You just stepped on a bloodletter.

>> No.15931727

>>15931724
They don't count

>> No.15931731

>>15931721
Is it better than cocaine?

>> No.15931733

>>15931696
>The cultist was promptly shot in the back with a high velocity kraken penatrator round.

>> No.15931734

>peasant troubles

Doth it looketh as if I would giveth a fuck?

I'm off smiting evil near IMPORTANT people that matter.

>> No.15931736

>>15931727

Those things are pretty much like rats around here. You need some for your war? We can scoop up a few and put 'em in a box with air holes.

>> No.15931739

>>15931696
Only this.

>> No.15931741

>>15931721
The more, the merrier, right?
Can never have too many Sororitas.
Can never have too many of anything, for that matter.

>> No.15931743

>>15931076

Hey, kid. I'm an adorable stuffed toy. And I can make it *all* better...As long as you make a contract with me~!

>> No.15931746

>>15931731
It depends on how you define 'better', my dear hive mind. It's definitely different.

>> No.15931754

>>15931739
I DO NOT ENDORSE A WARRIOR WEARING SUCH STUPID ARMOUR.

>> No.15931755

>>15931746
In that case, GIMEE!

>> No.15931756

>>15931739
Still ucking adorable.

Must be how a Father feels looking at his daughter all grown up

>> No.15931763

>>15931696
And then she stumbled over an actual flashlight and promptly died. AGAIN.

>> No.15931764

>>15931743

No- No! You're the devil! The DEVIL!

Run away!

>> No.15931772

>>15931755
The first dose is always free, of course.

>>15931743
Oh, how disgustingly cute.

I must have you for my collection.

>> No.15931774

>>15931763
You can kill her but you can't be rid of her.

>> No.15931778

>>15931764
Kyubei is a trustworthy person!

>> No.15931785

>>15931772
Collecting kyubeis is a nice hobby.

>> No.15931789

>>15931772
oh lawds, I need to see what will happen if Slaanesh becomes a Puella Magi

>> No.15931790

>>15931076
I can sense it, the harsh years of taken their toll.

You are dying, little girl. Tell me, do you want to die? Join me and help me end all life, in exchange I will extend your and grant you the power to do whatever you please.

What do you say?

>> No.15931798

>>15931772
Sir, we just found a genestealer falling all over itself. Can we keep it?

>> No.15931799

Now, I can feel my high going down. Which means I have to do something, if I recall.

Is that little girl still here?

>> No.15931801

>>15931685
>the armless failure

Lol'd something good.

>> No.15931812

>>15931799
What if she is?

>> No.15931814

>>15931798
Well of course we can keep it!

Tell me, how many sexual organs does it have?

>> No.15931822

>>15931674
Oh thanks, it's not like I wanted to sleep tonight either.

>> No.15931824

>>15931814
Well, none. Just an anus.
They reproduce by making people fuck and then give birth to and look after hybrid things.

>> No.15931825

>>15931812
Well, I was just thinking, I have a lot of nice... toys for her to play with. An almost infinite number of them, in fact. And I'm oh so lonely.

Maybe she might come down and pay me a visit? See me directly, full on, with no filter in between us.

Then we can play ;)

>> No.15931833

>>15931824
Really!

How lovely!

Go find more of them for me, lad, and bring them to my palace. I must have at least one of every kind for my collection.

>> No.15931837

>>15931825
I don't know if Papa would like that.

>> No.15931854

>>15931833
Yes ma'am. There are lots of different kinds.

>> No.15931866

>>15931837
Oh, he'd be fine with it, I'm sure. Just don't tell him I said that. Nurgle is such a prude.

>>15931854
Oh I'm practically jizzing with delight!

Really, I am.

>> No.15931878

Oh god, you won't believe what happened last night....

Slaanesh, why do you have some of my Genestealers? And why are half of them being humped by deamonettes?

>> No.15931881

>>15931584
my finger sliped

>> No.15931883

>this thread
Oh god another BAWWWW thread
>white knights
>Khorne
>Wait, Khorne!?
WTF IS GOING ON
>Slaanesh
EVERYTHING IS MADE OF AIDS

>> No.15931895

>>15931881
Let me guess, then you accidently fell over and put it in her pooper by per chance?

Get the fuck out fo this thread Kenshiro. I'd sooner give her to Slaneesh then you pervert

>> No.15931897

>>15931878
Well, the patriarch just kind of fell into my lap and look it's none of your business.

>> No.15931899

>>15931878
Yeah, some of those Sisters of Battle turned out to be defective, so I had to take some of your Genestealers to compensate.

Here, have some Methylenedioxymethamphetamine!

You might know it better as Ecstasy.

>>15931895
Is that a promise?

>> No.15931908

...and that, little girl, is how you summon a horror.
Now i will teach you how to make those bandits' intestines boil and flow from from all of their orifices.

>> No.15931919

>>15931899
Hey, the hybrids DO have sexual organs!

>> No.15931933

>>15931899
Defective you say? I found a few more for you.

Also, what are these human-like creatures? They seem a little fitter than the humans. Worth a bit more maybe?

>> No.15931940

>>15931933
Ooh, ooh, gimmegimmegimme.

>> No.15931947

>>15931940
I saw it first!

>> No.15931952

>>15931933
And I just finished half an hour ago. Goddamnit you.

>> No.15931954

>>15931919
Great!

I'll give them more later.

>>15931933
A bit more, yes. By the way, how's your supply of cocaine and heroin? Need more? I've got an idea for a very fair trade agreement between us.

Well...

It's fair to me, at any rate.

>>15931908
Hey Tzeentchy-poo, how's your day going?

>> No.15931959

>>15931933
oh how the mighty has fallen

http://www.furaffinity.net/user/wickedstar/

>> No.15931965

>>15931954
Just perfect. Got a new cultists for me while my retarded comrades kept bickering.
..oh wait.

>> No.15931967

>>15931954
Well, I just came from getting a Mount of Slaanesh and OH SLAANESH WHY ARE THERE TYRANIDS HERE

>> No.15931969

>>15931954
I can see where this is going. A fair trade indeed I think. These creatures don't have much biomass after all.

>> No.15931975

>>15931947
>>15931940
Now now boys, don't fight. You can share. It's not gay if it's in a three way after all.

And if it is, well, that's just icing on the cake.

>>15931965
That's nice, hun. We still on for next decade? I'm bringing the dildos.

>> No.15932010

>>15931969
How about this: You bring me a few billion, and in exchange, I give you twice their mass in cocaine and heroin.

Do we have a deal?

>>15931967
Because.

>> No.15932025

>>15931969
Did somebody say.. biomass?

>> No.15932053

>>15932010
You have yourself a deal. Excuse me while I go find this place called Commorragh. There should be enough there.

>> No.15932083

>ITT: Slaanesh always wins

>> No.15932367

bump

>> No.15932607

>>15931445
...As opposed to stealing what? You can't steal things you already own!

>> No.15932624

>>15932025
I KNOW THOSE FAT FATTY FAT FAT LEGS! FUUKA GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!

>> No.15932642

...I'm pretty sure we have a thread like this before. And it didn't end like this. I remember the last ending having something to do with Aku and FOOOOOOLISH SAMURAI WIELDING MAGIC SWORD.

>> No.15932738

RIGHT I AM BACK!

WHERE IS THE GIRL! I HAVE MADE A PLAYHOUSE FOR HER


OUT OF SKULLS AND BRASS

MOSTLY SKULLS.


PRETTY SKULLS TOO.

>> No.15932764

>>15931076

Hi there! I could show you how to make cupcakes! Then we can make cupcakes and pies and have a magical friendship!

>> No.15932769

>>15932764
SLAANESH! ONE OF YOUR WEIRD BUG EYED HORSE THINGS GOT LOOSE!

I WILL KILL IT!

>> No.15932781

>>15932083
ITT: Slaneesh is that annoying loud mouthed asshole who tries to keep the conversation on his FAAAAAABULOUS self while pushing his own agenda non-stop with overthetop innuendos and sexual flamboyance

>> No.15932809

>>15932769


Nope, that's mine!

>> No.15932835

>>15931959
WHAT THE FUCK?!

>> No.15933000

>>15932809

Somehow, this makes sense...

>> No.15933466

OH DEAR. IT IS NOT YOUR TIME YET, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE A HOME, LITTLE GIRL? I AM SURE ALBERT HAS SOMETHING COOKING AND PERHAPS WHEN YOU ARE OLD ENOUGH I SHALL FIND A SUITOR FOR YOU. THERE WILL BE ADEQUATE FOOD AND SO ON, HUMANS LIKE THAT SORT OF THING, CORRECT?

>> No.15933508

>>15931674
Not so fast!

>>
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