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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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[ERROR] No.15742122 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

I'm playing a necromancer that has no intentions to ever become part of the undead populous. Instead he is going to achieve eternal youth through the use of the "Steal Life" spell in Book of Vile Darkness 3.5e.

Why would anyone take up the curse of undeath when this option is available?

>> No.15742132

Sexual problems

>> No.15742147

The need to find constant victims. It's great for a sociopathic BBEG kidnapping people to extend his own life, but for the run of the mill necromancer it's better to become a necropolitan and just exist forever, no maintenance required.

>> No.15742151

What happens if he's three hundred years old and due to some unexpected reason he can't get his "steal life" fix?

>> No.15742153

>>15742147
Can't you just use livestock?

You can stay alive and still can be a good guy

>> No.15742170

>>15742151
if he misses one month's life theft, he can make up for it come the next month

>> No.15742176

>>15742170
I can't believe that the feet is teh mos wrong thing about that picture

>> No.15742177

So he can keep his flesh from starting to rot and walk among society as a normal person....as normal as a life stealing person can get. Perhaps he's a little squemish about the ritual to turn into a lich or something but is ok with stealing lives. Or maybe he has a problem with putting his soul into an item but still wants to live forever.

>> No.15742191

>>15742177

Or maybe he just wants to live forever AND keep his dick.

Obviously it's not as secure as lichdom, but at least it doesn't condemn him to reading magic tomes in a tower for all eternity.

>> No.15742192

>>15742153
nope, casting the spell in and of itself is an evil act

>> No.15742201

Mind telling us the mechanics of the spell in particular, OP?

NEver read Book of Vile Darkness.

>> No.15742222

>>15742201
You need to cast it in an unhallowed or desecrated area.
It does one point of ability drain every round that you concentrate on it. Each time you drain an ability point, you have to drain all the other abilities before once before you can return to the first ability again.

If you drain the subject on the night of a full moon, then your body becomes younger by a week for each point drained.

Thus, if every full moon you drain 4 ability points, then you can halt your aging entirely and achieve eternal youth

>> No.15742231

>>15742192
So? Good people go around doing evil shit all the time.
If need be
>Be Adventurer
>Use Spell to kill evil henchmen and BBEGs

>> No.15742238

Are undeath and this spell the only two ways to achieve immortality short of becoming a god?

>> No.15742257

>>15742222
Doesnt sound too difficult...after all you can restore ability drain...

>> No.15742261

>>15742191
alter self, level 3 minimum
lichdom, level 11 minimum

Safe to say liches can have as many dicks as they want, nothing but a skeleton with throbbing dicks and tits hanging from it if you want.

>> No.15742263

>>15742222
So what's to keep two guys from casting this on each other then getting a Restoration spell cast on them by a cohort or something to repair the ability score damage?

>> No.15742266

>>15742238
Level 20 monk.

>> No.15742267

>>15742238

You can become an Elan. They can't die from age. But it costs you your memories.

>> No.15742275

>>15742267
How does one "become" an elan?

>> No.15742281

>>15742275

Elans can turn other people into them with a ritual.

>> No.15742289

>>15742261

A lich can grow a dick.

But he'll never have a dick.

>> No.15742294

>>15742266
If I'm not mistaken, Timeless Body just makes you stop losing stats due to advancing age categories and specifically states that when you reach your maximum age you still die anyway.

>> No.15742308

>>15742289
How exactly is growing a dick NOT having a dick?

>> No.15742317

>>15742289
>>15742308

>> No.15742321

>>15742294
.....So people have a shelf life is what you're telling me? I also thought they gained the Outsider template.

>> No.15742327

>>15742308

Think on it.

>> No.15742331

>>15742267
A clever adventurer could, perhaps, leave themselves clues to their former life. Though I'm sure Elans wouldn't like that. You're supposed to be leaving behind your old life to become one of them.

>>15742261
Yeah, it's trivial for liches to be as pretty as they want to be on a permanent basis.

Problem starts when you consider how old a liche can get to be. At some point they just stop giving a fuck. They don't want to interact with people anymore. So why put up the facade? Just sit in the tower and rot and study.

The world could be FULL of new young liches that no one knows about. Still attached to their need for society and other people.

>> No.15742334

>>15742321
they do become outsiders, but they're native, so they still die, breath, eat, and sleep

also, they do, for the lack of a better term, have a shelf life, and even though they still don't age, they aren't immoral

>> No.15742339

>>15742321
They gain Outsider(native) type, but they're still mortal so they still die of old age and can be Raised or Resurrected normally.

>> No.15742343

>>15742321
If one did never die it would make for a good plot hook to have one of the inevitables chase them down and try to end their life.

>> No.15742351

>>15742334
That makes no sense at all. From a balance point of view, yes, but a fluff point of view? Sounds kinda stupid. Oh no, your a human and you just hit 100? Dead.

>> No.15742355

>>15742327
Let's say I'm a human wizard and cast Alter Self so I can grow wings. By your logic I don't have wings even though using them as this very fucking moment to fly around a thousand feet above your head.

Retorting with "think about it" doesn't work when your argument doesn't make any fucking sense.

>> No.15742359

Why?
Became a lich? Wanna keep your dick? Gentle Repose.
Wanna fuck?
Polymorph Self.

>> No.15742361

>>15742331
True but sorcerous and clerical liches, for instance, tend to be social oriented rather than study oriented.

I would also imagine some deities enjoy experienced servants of a pleasing appearance, and likewise, people may be more likely to come to Lich Church if you have skin.

>> No.15742372

>>15742351
being an outsider just means that you're one of the highest essences of a cause. Your soul and body merge, and you have a whole new wholeness

>> No.15742402

>>15742267
Elans don't lose their memories of being human.
Some forget over their huge lifespans but the ritual doesn't remove them.
Although if you do become an Elan, you would reset to a level 1 character

>> No.15742414

>>15742355
He's saying philosophically.

>> No.15742428

>>15742414
How?
It's a dick.
Sticking it into a vagina gives you stimulation and pleasure.
It's a dick. Even on philosophical standpoint.

Only difference is that you can control its size depending on your will.

>> No.15742438

>>15742281
Okay how about this...store all your memories, etc into some kind of psi crystal or other magical item.

Turn into elan, use the item to get all your xp back.

???

PROFIT!!!

>> No.15742441

>>15742414
Except philosophy has always been bullshit for people that want to pretend they know stuff.

>> No.15742498

>>15742441

>> No.15742501

What are somemore ways to get immortality?

>> No.15742512

>>15742501
Don't die.

>> No.15742524

>>15742512

>> No.15742546

>>15742501

Killoren (RotW)
Elan (XPH)
Warforged (EBCS, MMIII)
Sprites (all)
Valkyrie (ToB)
Demons (all)
Undeads (all)
Constructs (all)
Beloved of Valarian (Book of Exalted Deeds)
Thief of Life (Faiths of Eberron)
Green Star Adept (CA)
Elemental Savant (CA)
Bonded Summoner (MH)
Elemental Archon (Faiths and Pantheons 3.0)
Cloud Anchorite (FB)
Walker in the Wastes (SS)
Necropolitan (LM)
Bone Creature (BoVD)
Corpse Creature (BoVD)

>> No.15742559

>>15742501
>Rape a god.
>Cut out it's unborn fetus
>Eat it
>?????
>Proft.

>> No.15742561

Because both options are not always available. You have to check with your GM. It depends on the setting and campaign. If I ran a campaign, I wouldn't allow everything from the sourcebooks, especially if it causes logical problems or contradictions. Even if the mental hoops are fun for discussion.

>> No.15742562

>>15742238
Immortality in a few easy steps in 3.5, with lots of things left out.
-Become an Elan (Psionic race created from humans). This erases your previous experiences and starts you back at lvl 1, but you'll be able to live indefinately and not need to eat or sleep much. Also makes you an Aberation, negating some charm and dominate effects.

Undeath: Comes in several flavors, most of them have a risk or hunger associated with them that makes this viable but undesirable in most cases. Liches and Necropolitans are probably the best of these options.

Levels in classes or PrC's that grant the Outsider or Elemental type (Not Native). You'll have a fun time getting back to the Material plane after the fact, but you won't age properly, and you'll just poof to your respective plane after the fact. Options include but are not limited to Shadowcaster, Greenstar Adept, Elemental Savant, and Cloud Anchorite.

Find an item or potion of which reverses age effects; OP's spell is one option, and Faerun's cannon (via the novels) states that there is a potion of youth, but it tastes like swallowing razorblades. Taken once every few decades, it staves off death and keeps a body young.

>> No.15742566

>>15742428
are you sure that you can still feel the pleasurable stimulation of the penis even if you use a magic spell? What if it feels different, like magic-infused and shit? What if it feels worse than a real dick not made by magic?

>> No.15742570

>>15742562

At epic levels, there is a feat that grants you 50% additional lifespan compared to your normal limit. Keep taking the feat, keep getting more time.

Polymorph any object into a Gold Dragon Wyrmling. You now have about 10k years to live. Getting near the end of your years as a Great Wyrm? You're a 19+ level sorcerer because of all thsoe draconic HD you dumbass, cast the spell twice again and you're back where you started, + some class levels.

Warforged are immortal.
There is a class out of Magic of Ebbearon called a Renegade Mastermaker; it turns you into a warforged. Do The Freaking Math.
As a bonus, it works for Psionic classes too, so you can keep building yourself up after you've purified your being into a perfect existance, and eventually become a Reaper. Your DM's face when he realizes what he's allowed into his setting.

>> No.15742578

You guys are forgetting becoming a Worm That Walks.

>> No.15742585

>>15742566

There are spells for altering the state of a mind, i'm sure a fucking LICH if he so desired could make one to give himself the greatest ectasy never known to man.

>> No.15742586

>>15742578
The nethermost caverns are not for the fathoming of eyes that see; for their marvels are strange and terrific. Cursed the ground where dead thoughts live new and oddly bodied, and evil the mind that is held by no head. Wisely did Ibn Schacabao say, that happy is the tomb where no wizard hath lain, and happy the town at night whose wizards are all ashes. For it is of old rumour that the soul of the devil-bought hastes not from his charnel clay, but fats and instructs the very worm that gnaws: till out of corruption horrific life springs, and the dull scavengers of earth wax crafty to vex it and swell monstrous to plague it. Great holes secretly are digged where earth's pores ought to suffice, and things have learnt to walk that ought to crawl.

>> No.15742598

>>15742585
But at the end of the day its all a facade. Your dick will go away, the spell will go away and you are just left with your bony self, being all bony. But if you are a live, dude, your dick says hi in the morning every goddamn day.

>> No.15742610

>necromancer wanking off using spells and elaborate plots to keep his dick

That is one demented necromancer who goes out of his way to preserve an organ used for procreation when he is supposed to be doing his studies about death and rotting meat.

>> No.15742617

>>15742598
Nope.
Cast Permanence.
Bam, dick.

>> No.15742621

>>15742428

Yeah, but then why don't liches go out and fuck girls all the time, even though they can if they want to?

The answer is simple; they can't want to. They lost their dicks and their desires when they lost their lives. They could magic one up, but they won't.

That's why liches can't have dicks.

>> No.15742624

>>15742578
I had a character do that. He talked about once every month, real time. Otherwise he just made wet squishing noises.

>> No.15742630

>>15742610
POLYMORPH. POLYMORPH ANY OBJECT.

YOU ARE A LICH. DID YOU BAN TRANSMUTATION IN A FIT OF STUPIDITY? ARE YOU INCAPABLE OF LOOKING INTO PSIONICS OR DIVINE MAGIC TO CIRCUMVENT THIS?!

...sorry for caps.

>> No.15742631

>>15742598
Polymorph Any Object's duration time of permanent disagrees with you, bub.

>> No.15742635

>>15742617
Actually, what that anon said was a good point. What if you lost the urge to fuck by becoming a lich. Like, there ain't no procreation instincts for a dead body. You no longer want to fuck.

>> No.15742647

>>15742631
Then you are no longer a LICH. AGUGJDKIGFH

>> No.15742651

>>15742578
>Become a disgusting mass of writhing worms
Gee i wonder why that doesnt sound attractive?

>> No.15742653

>>15742635
Rape causes nice mental scars. He grows a dick just for those occasions.

>> No.15742659

>>15742621
>>15742635
Actually, this is selection bias.

You never catch the liches with flesh on them going out fucking all the bitches, because adventurers only find the bony ones making diabolical plans. The fleshier liches are too busy boning women to bother.

>>15742647
If you "kill" that polymorphed lich it still retains the ability to phylacterevive, which is the whole point. Immortal and undying, and flesh too? So what if the person doesn't look like a lich?

>> No.15742662

>>15742624

It doesn't look like a sure thing to pull off.

>> No.15742688

>>15742238
I think there's a prestige class in the Complete Arcane that lets you turn into an immortal golem

>> No.15742692

>liches suck, they don't have flesh, use steal life instead

>"but liches can grow dicks"

>no no liches don't have permanent flesh it's not their own

>"I'm pretty sure you can permanently get flesh on a lich with PAO or other spells"

>WAHHH NO LICHES CAN'T HAVE FLESH SO THEY SUCK BECAUSE THAT'S HOW THEY'RE DEFINED, TO SUCK

>> No.15742709

>>15742688
Green Star Adept.
http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/ex/20041105a

>Emerald Perfection (Ex): At 10th level, a Green Star adept completes his transformation. He resembles a perfectly sculpted statue of himself, forged from green starmetal. His type changes to construct, which brings about the following alterations to his basic nature:
.....
>He no longer takes ability score penalties for aging and cannot be magically aged. He cannot die of old age and might exist in this form for eons.

Statues can probably fuck, but it's unknown whether they get anything out of it.

>> No.15742711

>>15742688

That's the green star adept thing.

>> No.15742722

>>15742709

I thought that we decided that green star adepts were shitty, being as you only get 100 hp and you die forever if you hit 0?

>> No.15742736

>>15742722
>* He is no longer at risk of death from massive damage, but he is immediately destroyed if reduced to 0 hit points. However, unlike other constructs, a Green Star adept can be returned from the dead by any means that would have worked on him before his final transformation.

So, no. You lose one level and are vulnerable, but you can definitely be revived.

Though 1/2 spellcasting levels per level sucks ass for golem immunities.

>> No.15742753

>>15742586
>>15742578
what book was this in?

>> No.15742774

>>15742662
You just have to prepare well in advance, or be epic level.

>> No.15742787

>>15742651
It isn't any worse than being a rotting corpse. You still are capable of any and all spells you could perform beforehand, and lose no intelligence. On the contrary, you become MUCH tougher and gain a bunch of powers.

>> No.15742807

>>15742787
Being a skeleton is preferably to being a mass of worms.

>> No.15742808

So if you steal life all of the time, wouldn't that technically make a sort of vampire?

>> No.15742812

PHB.

Or be lazy, and type it into google and find the D20srd and find it here: http://www.d20srd.org/srd/epic/monsters/wormThatWalks.htm

Only some kind of retard wouldn't be able to do that.

>> No.15742829

>>15742787
>gain some neat powers
>be tougher to kill
>be undead

So pretty much the same as being a lich then.

>> No.15742832

>>15742808
No, it does not. Shut up and go fuck yourself.

>> No.15742840

>>15742807

I don't think the level of suck is distinguishably different.

>> No.15742856

>>15742832

Well I think it definitively sounds like a vampire!

>> No.15742860

>>15742829
You're not technically undead, you're an abomination.

>> No.15742874

>>15742856
it sounds like it, but it also sounds like every other undead that feeds off of ability drain

>> No.15742883

>>15742860
Er, aberration, durr. I'm tired.

>> No.15742887

>>15742874

So then it is a vampire!

>> No.15742889

>>15742807
>is preferably to being a mass of worm
I have read your post and it is obviously that your a foggot.

>> No.15742894

>>15742887
No it isn't. They are two completely different types and templates. You are a failed troll.

>> No.15742920

>>15742894

But it sucks life!

>> No.15742928

>>15742860
You die and come back as a worm.

It's undead.

>> No.15742934

>>15742894
It's cooler than a vampire.

It's all the life steal goodness without the baggage. No weaknesses, and no crazy women in badly need of a dicking writing obsessive novels about you.

>> No.15742951

>>15742934
No matter how you do it, there's always going to be crazies writing bad fanfic about you.

>> No.15742956

>>15742920
Consider what you're saying...
Hitler and Groucho Marx both had mustaches, and that means they both killed millions of jews.

>> No.15742967

isn't there an artifact that's a portrait that ages for you?
Why not just get that, OP?

>> No.15742970

>>15742956

Yes!

>> No.15742979

>>15742951
I don't think we'll get a twilight about stuff like "the worm that walks"

>> No.15742988

>>15742979
I do know there's furry porn of it.

I leave it to you to say which is worse.

>> No.15743000

>>15742951
Indeed, I'm waiting for someone to make badly written almost porn about liches and mummies.

>> No.15743009

>>15743000
a paralyzing touch puts a whole new spin on "the shocker"

>> No.15743010

>>15742988
I wonder how you know this

>> No.15743021

>>15743000
mummy rot sounds like a fairly awful STD

>> No.15743025

>>15743010
I cannot say, for I have bleached all but the memory of the memory of it from my mind.

>>15743000
Pic related.

>> No.15743037

>>15743025
Yeah I've seen this, I've also seen the Penny Arcade one.

>> No.15743046

>>15743025
idon'twanttoliveonthisplanetanymore.jpeg

>> No.15743049

>>15742979
Glittering worms and a misunderstood aberration that says that he must stay away from her, otherwise he'll eat her flesh and brains in a guttural voice?
Sign me the fuck up.

>> No.15743058

>>15743049
It's already out there, probably.

I dare not search for it, do you?

>> No.15743069

>>15743058
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

>> No.15743099

ok, this has to stop.
this is not a good topic, or a good thread. it never was intended to be good or productive.
so stop with this necrophilia.

>> No.15743100

>>15743058
W-where is this from?

>> No.15743122

>>15743100
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=xbc3tgsnkk565g8erep9fune&page=6314

>> No.15743137

>>15743122
I thought it looked like TV Tropes. That site is a wretched hive of scum and villainy.

>> No.15743160

>>15742566
Well if magic can give you wings that give you enough precision and feed-back to control flight... Yeah.

Shouldn't be too hard for a dick to give stimulus.

>> No.15743172

>>15743160
make a dick with polymorph, then cast flesh to stone on it. Then cast earthquake, and you have become a lichen pleasure mage

>> No.15743202

It fixes the problem with my shitty CON bonus, better hit dice, undead traits (crit immunity etc).
That's why you become undead.

>> No.15743218

>>15743202
you're a powergaming fag. A true roleplayer would only become undead if there character was insane and depraved

>> No.15743221

I don't really like the idea of The Worm that Walks.

The idea is that so long as any individual worm survives you can regrow, but it would be pretty easy to kill all the worms at once - one big fireball or whatever.

>> No.15743245

>>15743221
Yeah, and you could kill anything like that. You're a mage. You should be capable of protection against that.

>> No.15743257

>>15743218
So it's not justifyable that my necromancer is becoming undead himself without being insane?
Yeah, fuck you too buddy.

>> No.15743270

>>15743245

It's not as good as being a lich though. Also if you discorporate to the individual vermin you are totally vulnerable.

>> No.15743275

>>15743245
>Yeah, and you could kill anything like that. You're a mage. You should be capable of protection against that.

I think forcecage and cloudkill would do nicely. Or any other spell like that.

Let's see you get out of that, maggot-ass.

>> No.15743313

>>15743257
>making your necromancer become a lich
>2011

I seriously hope you don't do this

>> No.15743416 [DELETED] 

>>15743313
>Poor trolling on /tg/
>2011
I seriously hope you guys don't do this.

>> No.15743418

>>15743270
You're no more vulnerable than a recently reincarnated lich.

>> No.15743461

>>15743418
Lich can protect its place of resurrection, set someone to look after the phylactery, put wards and guards round it.

Worm that walks can't, as the parts of the worm that survives is on its own.

Unless you contingent teleport bits of yourself far away or something.

Throw any item, perhaps? It should work for a handful of worms.

>> No.15743470

Also, now I'm thinking of a worm-that-walks slashfic with a lich, with the soft, sensual worms sliding all along the hard, polished bone, taking the pulsating mass into its ribcage and mouth and skull...

>> No.15743477

>>15743461
Don't see why not.

>> No.15743498 [DELETED] 

>>15743470
>mfw

>> No.15745960

I had a caster face a similar conundrum. 'How to be immortal'?

Of course, you could always Polymorph Self: Into Yourself-but-younger. "Oh, I'm about to advance an age category? BAM! I'm 20 years old again. Happy birthday to me."

>> No.15747730

>> No.15747739

>>15745960
would that work?
that sounds like it shouldn't work

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