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15443934 No.15443934 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Would it have been possible to awaken Slaanesh prematurely?

The sane Eldar couldn't convince the rest to stop being hedonistic drug-addled fucks because of a few weird dreams and visions, so the next best thing would have been to reduce the inevitable death of their race into a grim warning. Forcing the fourth Chaos God to awaken before its time, with much less power and magnitude, would have killed far less Eldar, created a far smaller Eye of Terror, and the result wouldn't have had enough power to threaten their gods: what remained of their race would have been scared shitless enough to stop their bullshit, except for the Dark Eldar and even in their case it probably wouldn't have been quite as bad. The Fall would have been averted.

It obviously can't happen anymore, but it's a thought.

>> No.15444033

How would you wake her up prematurely? A huge ritual sacrifice just for its sake?

I think she'd still end up pretty strong.

>> No.15444039

Pardon me Slaanesh is a ''Him''

Hence why they call him the Prince of Excess.

>> No.15444050

Slaanesh is a hermaphrodite. Either gender works.

>> No.15444052

Slaanesh is referred to as a he, but it really makes no difference.

>> No.15444055

Eldar call it a "Her"
Its a hermaphrodite

>> No.15444056 [DELETED] 

>>Pardon me Slaanesh is a ''Him''
Slaanesh is a hermaphrodite/futa, and thus most properly a 'hir'. This is why many high-ranked cultists of Slaanesh are either androgynous or outright hermaphrodites.

>> No.15444057

They also call Slaanesh 'She Who Thirsts'...

Aw, you're so cute, thinking the chaos god of excess and unbridled perversion would be stuck in a human gender binary...

>> No.15444060


>Slaanesh is a dude

She Who Thirsts might have something to say about that.

>> No.15444061

Im pretty sure Slaanesh is both

>> No.15444069

You actually never read the fluff on Slaanesh right? First, they didn't "awaken" him, they created him. And its creation needed a critical mass of 'hedonistic drug-addled fucks' indulging into whatever excess they liked to create him. Also, they didn't know they would create him/it/her.

>> No.15444081

All Slaanesh consorts and brides are female or of womanish nature.

And that proves that Slaanesh is more ''Him'' than ''Her''.

>> No.15444093
File: 16 KB, 300x435, 670165-him_large.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

No no no you're thinking of the other ''Him''

>> No.15444103
File: 890 KB, 5000x4068, cool face.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

you forgot your face.

>> No.15444107

Or she's bi.

>> No.15444110


Let's see about some of the better known Slaaneshi followers and sex.

Keepers & Daemonettes - ambiguous

Fulgrim - Male
Lucius - Male
Emperor's Children in general - Male

And the chicks:

Miriel Sabathiel - Female
Lelith Hesperax (sez goto) - Female, and so was the Slaaneshi influence she was cuddling with.

So clearly Slaanesh is more interested in males as far as followers go.

>> No.15444145
File: 103 KB, 507x698, WarpedFamily.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

He is the top one the right.

You can draw your own judgement on whatever gender he really is.

Don't they look like a happy bunch?

>> No.15444155


Oh god...I noticed the Nurgle Penis Symbol before anything else...what the fuck Slaanesh? Why have you corrupted me?

>> No.15444170

With all the bird crap you would think Tzeentch would look errrr....Birdlike?

Instead of an overgrown horror.

>> No.15444199
File: 225 KB, 727x1024, Tzeentch.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Deal with it.

>> No.15444215

how do you now they didn't?

>> No.15444222

Only the Eldar see Slaanesh as a female (She who thirsts)

All other races recognize Slaanesh as being male or address him as if he was a male.

>> No.15444223

man that picture is so '80s my boner hurts

>> No.15444241

Awakening him early...eh. I don't see it. It'd probably end up backfiring hilariously.

>> No.15444244


And Eldar were the ones who created Slaanesh.

We the players do not have to concern ourselves with it though, as all canon material, most recently the Chaos Daemons codex, say that Slaanesh can appear as any gender, hermaphrodite being the preferred form.

>> No.15444251

You'd think the Eldar would know it a little better.

>> No.15444280

Since all Chaos gods are ever changing, does that mean they can take female forms similar to Slaanesh?

>> No.15444287

I'm not sure any other gods bother with genders at all.

>> No.15444321



>> No.15444336

Maybe Tzeentch will not bothered with it.

However Nurgle insists on being called Papa or Grandfather and also is in love with a female goddess.

Khorne always appears in a form of a manly muscle bound beastly male.

>> No.15444338



>> No.15444352

Khorne armies are a sausagefests.

Khorne is gayer than Slaanesh and that's saying something.

>> No.15444418
File: 229 KB, 652x964, Tzeentch3.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Giant mutant monkey

He does look cool this way.

>> No.15444435

Tzeentch is god of complex planning and intelligence, so he has to be male.
Khorne is physically strong, so he has to be male.
Nurgle is loving, so he also must be male.
Slaneesh is the weakest, is all about giving into emotions and is a massive slut, so she has to be female.


>> No.15444452
File: 183 KB, 800x800, 1308527051264.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

That makes sense in a misogynistic way.

>> No.15444461

>Nurgle is loving, so he also must be male.
>Male trait
I... uh... what?

>> No.15444472

Well yeah, haven't you seen them drunken bitches and how they handle their children? They CAN'T, cuz they don't love 'em! It's boys that love. Boys love!

>> No.15444488

He's a loving, protecting, sheltering influence. He's the ultimate provider, sacrificing everything for the good of his family, particularly his children. The fact that he does so in such a demented way is irrelevant, he's a fucking Chaos God after all.

Not all male archetypes are roid-raging dipshits.

>> No.15444497

>Well yeah, haven't you seen them drunken men and how they handle their children?
This works BOTH ways. No one loves. Therefore Nurgle is asexual. Or something.

>> No.15444505 [DELETED] 

But Nurgle has his waifu.

>> No.15444506

>>Not all male archetypes are roid-raging dipshits.

In 40k, yes they are.

>> No.15444514

OP talks about a hypothetical situation involving the awakening of a Chaos God.
/tg/ resorts to discussing wether Slaanesh is female or male.
I love you guys.

>> No.15444536

And Khorne had his Husbandu. Too bad he blew up.

>> No.15444561

You know, women say they love but just want to use you for their own ends.


>> No.15444570

OP, how do you know that didn't happen?

>> No.15444644
File: 30 KB, 335x218, clip13.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>no one loves

Oh but Slaanesh does love...

Gracefully enough to cause even a Sororitas to abandon her Emperor and measly exertions of mortals!

>> No.15444659


>Tzeentch is god of complex planning and intelligence, so he has to be male.
Actually if anything, this argues for Old Tzeen to be female.
>Khorne is physically strong, so he has to be male.
Implying women haven't been known to experience fits of berserk strength when protecting their kids.
>Nurgle is loving, so he also must be male.
LOL What?

>> No.15444696



>> No.15444700
File: 256 KB, 484x405, yournextwords.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.15444712

Is that a giant uncut penis?!
The fuck, GW!?

>> No.15444751

Tzeentch - Always referred to as a male.
Nurgle - Always referred to as a male.
Khorne - Always referred to as a male.
Slaanesh - Referred to as a female by the Eldar and a male by everyone else.

>> No.15444761

That's Tzeentch.

>> No.15444775


Tzeentch is god of scheming, double dealing, and backstabbing, so she has to be female.
Khorne is full of rage and excess blood, so she has to be female.
Nurgle is loving, so she also must be female.
Slaneesh is obsessed with sex, drugs, and rock and roll, so he has to be male.

Works both ways.

>> No.15444780

Khorne is male, Nurgle is male, Tzeentch is niether, slaanesh is both.

>> No.15444830

Khorne = dude
Nurgle = dude
Tzeentch = dude
Slaanesh = both

>> No.15444839

Not how I remember that female bloodletter.

>> No.15444861

ITT: Heretical cults debate on the sexuality of their gods. Inquisitors baffled by lack of bloodshed. A new form of heresy?

>> No.15444868

The Chaos Gods are neither male nor female, what with being incorporeal beings with no known reproductive system of any kind.

The Chaos Gods are not of the Kingdom Animalia. They do not have genders, and neither do fungi and protozoa who are also not of Animalia.

>> No.15444870
File: 42 KB, 600x343, KawaiC'tan.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

So...Since the C'tan are mirror images of the chaos gods.

Nightbringer = dude
Void Dragon = dude
Great Deciever = dude
Outsider = both

>> No.15444882


C'tan are also not of Animalia, also have no known reproductive system, and thus are also genderless.

>> No.15444886

If you called Khorne a girl he would still probably slap your shit though.

>> No.15444894


Well duh, he's a woman, not a girl. As demonstrated by the permanent PMS.

>> No.15444905


They might not have a sex but they appear to have a gender identity.

>> No.15444908
File: 24 KB, 300x550, Deceiver.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Oh Hai there.

Watcha cute fellas talking about?

>> No.15444911
File: 377 KB, 800x800, 1431.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


But that and the Blood God's beloved consort Valkia being a chick means Khorne's as queer as they go...

>> No.15444930
File: 378 KB, 718x1072, Khornelook.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

What does she see in him....argh....i think im going to puke.

>> No.15444939

Yeah, so do the guys in Bearforce .
If you don't know what that is, youtube it now. Do.it. frigate.

>> No.15444943

>Implying you wouldn't split yourself on Khorne's dick and let him use you skull as a penis cosy.

>> No.15444951
File: 107 KB, 625x790, 6bjwvm8.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

fucking slaanesh!

>> No.15444963

Damn it all to hell, that's supposed to say Bearforce 1

>> No.15444977
File: 31 KB, 500x500, 1307982496846.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

are you implying that manly men only fuck with other manly menafter showing each other their respective honors?

>> No.15444980
File: 106 KB, 577x581, 181915 - C'tan Necron Nightbringer Warhammer_40k.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Nightbringer = dude


>> No.15445007
File: 822 KB, 800x1240, 5234324.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


No, I was just taking the previous poster's assumption of Khorne being a woman to its logical conclusion.

>> No.15445017

A shitty dragon?

>> No.15445033
File: 54 KB, 382x287, frenchman.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Tzeentch is evil, complex, controlling and cowardly. Therefore, it must be a woman.

Nurgle corrupts everything it touches and blights worlds by birthing daemons in its image. Therefore, Nurgle must be a woman.

Khorne is all about bloodshed, power, and being destructive by simply being there all the time through force. Therefore, Khorne must be Fran Drescher.

Slaanesh is all about corruption, temptation and convincing you to give in to your desires. Therefore, Slaanesh is a woman.

>mfw this revelation occurred to me

>> No.15445036

thats not a dragon duh, its a uniporn

>> No.15445038


The dragon's not related, trollfriend. Raging dyke is the correct answer.

>> No.15445048

A shitty - animu - dragon.

>> No.15445049

whos dyke?

>> No.15445094


Tzeentch is evil, overly complex, controlling and cowardly. Therefore, it must be French.

Nurgle corrupts everything it touches and blights worlds by birthing daemons in its image. Therefore, Nurgle must be French (or Japan, if you listen to some people on 4chan).

Khorne is all about bloodshed, power, and being destructive by simply being there all the time through force. Therefore, Khorne must be Fren... HAHAH OH GOD WHO AM I KIDDING?? HA!

Slaanesh is all about corruption, temptation and mad obsession. Therefore, Slaanesh is French.

3 out of 4 isn't bad. This is fun!

>> No.15445099
File: 156 KB, 900x1105, khorny.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.15445112


Khorne: gayer than Slaanesh. What the fuck?!

>> No.15445117
File: 55 KB, 600x654, 1301955927965.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Khorne has one true love.

The Axe of Khorne will meet Khaine's long sword of wailing doom in an epic passionate battle.

Who will emerge the top and who will be cast to the bottom remains to be seen.

>> No.15445128

The Chaos gods are multidimensional horrors who's respective forms are constantly changing.
They possess neither sex not gender, because they don't reproduce in the same way humans do.

>> No.15445138

>Implying Khorne's favorite weapon isn't the Black Sword.

>> No.15445145


Valkia is Khorne's only canonical love interest laid out in clear terms, but if you're into that subtext thing, Khorne's relationship to Khaine could seem suspicious. Does the blood good swing both ways?

>> No.15445153

Khorne is infinitely stronger than Khaine. Thus it has always been.
Hope blood really does make the best lube, because Khaine is in for quite the ride.

>> No.15445156


Depends on whether the axe is double edged or not.

>> No.15445160


>> No.15445167

Khorne - dude - has a waifu
Nurgle - dude - has a waifu
Tzeentch - dude - forever alone
Slaanesh - idklol

>> No.15445200

Young Slaanesh disarmed Khaine, humiliated him and was going to do ''horrible'' things to him.

But Khorne burst into the scene yelling that Khaine was his property and no one has the right to claim him but Khorne.

Angry over losing Isha to Nurgle, Slaanesh was not going to lose another potential plaything so the two chaos gods fought for the possession of Khaine.

>> No.15445275


Fungi don't have genders, this is true. They have sexes. Lots of them. They're numbered.

>> No.15445299

Hey, since the emperor is a warp being. Does that mean he is genderless too?

>> No.15445341

Well yeah that's why he couldn't have children the natural way and resorted to cloning himself.

>> No.15445343

Nah, Emps is a manly man who fucks and forgets bitches and then hangs out with his bros.

>> No.15445347
File: 203 KB, 1600x1002, jedi.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


Unless you believe in Sensei Knights.

>> No.15445364

>he couldn't have children the natural way

Suuuuuuuuure he couldn't.

>> No.15445396

Reading about the sensei fluff made me think of the emperor as a Horn Dog.

He fathered what? millions of children from thousands of women.

(The Emperor was a great man but he had his urges)

>> No.15445402


To be fair, are there any records of his sexual exploits? I know Russ was infamous for that kind of thing, but as far as I can remember the Emperor hasn't even got rumours of that kind of thing to his name.

>> No.15445415
File: 56 KB, 461x700, 1609585.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


Although Goto is the only one to say Lelith is actually Slaaneshi, the Dark Eldar codex seems to hint at one-sided interest.

>Perhaps, her spectators say, it is not only mortals who gaze with rapt attention as Lelith weaves her deadly dance

Her reason for rejecting combat drugs (used by every other Wych leader) also suggest uncharacteristic indulgence in her art, even for a Dark Eldar:

>How can one properly appreciate the delicate nuances of a victim's dying breath when one's senses are polluted by intoxicants?

One of the things that are still great in 40k are these scattered seeds for conspiracy theories laid in fluff.

>> No.15445424

Well there's the Starchild theory, and the Sensei dudes.

>> No.15445427

Why do you think he keeps those sisters of silence around him all the time.

They're the only ones capable of enduring his psychic dicking being blanks and all.

>> No.15445453

But wouldn't them being blanks fuck up his own brain?

>> No.15445455


Apparently he's had lots of pussy.

>> No.15445465

Emps is a badass psyker, they probably don't have much effect.

>> No.15445507
File: 325 KB, 1220x1120, Emperor.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Apparently not, the two on the right are members of the sisters of silence. The Emperor's own Harem army.

>> No.15445565


I wouldn't normally question the emperor but his taste in women is a little curious to put it lightly.

>> No.15445633

Unless he is into psionic bondage this will not work.

He is a psyker and they are pariahs. Physical contact will be an instant boner-kill for him.

Unless he like it up the ass by strap-on wearing anti-psykers.

We may have discovered the Emperors secret shame and also what he was doing in his Bat Cave just before the Heresy started.

>> No.15445676


So.... was Horus jealous or something? Or was he grossed out by the whole thing and turned to Chaos in the hope that they'd be less perverted?

>> No.15445720
File: 410 KB, 410x616, 1309098864208.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

damn, how do those ladies look under that armor? maybe they are just a human head connected to a metal esqueleton or something, what does the fluff say?

>> No.15445746

He went to chaos hoping they would provide him with brain bleach after what he saw.

>> No.15445774

They human.

>> No.15445784


lolno, psykers with enough power can just overpower one's blankness. Those sisters of silence must be like normal people around a being like the Emperor.comatose state shows.

>> No.15445786

They're muscular fanatic women devoted to the emperor in every way.

They're the same to the sisters of battle save for two things. One, they're mute they have their tongues removed after they finish the initiation. Two they're all blanks.

Much like custodians they follow the emperor where ever he go.

>> No.15445795


Fuck, that "comatose state shows" wasn't meant to be there. I forgot to finish writing about the Bequin vs Chaos Titan part.

>> No.15445799


Well, I'd imagine walking in on your dad taking it up the ass from a Sister of Silence with a 12" strap-on would be pretty traumatic... Either that, or the Emperor was WAAAAAY too open about the whole thing, and kept causing Horus to choke on his food whenever he mentioned details of his sexual exploits. Bad enough at the dinner table, but when the Emperor pops out of the fridge just as you're trying to get a late night snack, you're probably going to want revenge. Horus will never look at doughnuts the same way again. Or cucumbers. Or carrots. Or kumquats. Or milk...

>> No.15445836

I'm thinking that Emps would be into domination. Perhaps not docking, but the feeling of weakness when touching a blank might be his thing. And he is insanely powerful. Perhpas blanks are the only girls he can bone without them being constantly pregnant for the next 5 years thanks to his master-race sperm.

>> No.15445852


he was all into power to an insanely obsessive degree.

>> No.15445993


Maybe that's the point? You always hear of managers and high powered types being caught cheating on their wives with dominatrices, and it seems fairly logical that someone who spends all day being in charge would unwind by specifically handing over control to someone else. Why should the Emperor be any different?

It would explain why Horus would be so shocked to walk in on the Emperor like that: Horus' respect for the Emperor was probably tied to the fact that Horus probably considered the Emperor the only person greater than him: a perfect warrior, general, commander and leader of men. Then he sees the Emperor tied up and being spanked by a "mere" human, and the image Horus has of the Emperor shatters in an instant: the perfect opportunity for the Chaos Gods to corrupt him.

>> No.15445997

Well, to be fair, if the Emprah wants to fuck you, there's not really anything you can DO about it.

>> No.15446033

The Sisters couldn't tell anyone, so it was probably just with them, if it is true.
Though having odd fetishes does not make one any less of a a perfect warrior, general, commander and leader of men.

>> No.15446085

>Though having odd fetishes does not make one any less of a a perfect warrior, general, commander and leader of men.

Tell that to the poor, confused child that is Horus.

>> No.15446125

He would have been centuries old. Child?
Show him the Emperor fucking normal bitches to cleanse his palate if he's so whiny about the whole thing.
I doubt He'd do the kinky shit with women that could or would tell.

>> No.15446151

Here's a bit of fluff on the eldar fall:


>When their people fell into decadence and corruption, the Daemon Saha Gaathon walked amongst the race serving as a dark prophet in order to bring about the birth of the Chaos God Slaanesh

>> No.15446739

>Show him the Emperor fucking normal bitches to cleanse his palate if he's so whiny about the whole thing

We're talking about Horus, the guy who Abbadon, aka the king of the whiny emo kids, looks up to. If Abbadon is the king of emo, Horus must be some kind of avatar of pure emo, thus the Emperor fucking normal women in front of Horus would have probably made things worse.

>> No.15446750

Him on Earth, get Horus laid, then.
Fuck, it couldn't have been that hard.

>> No.15446760


Abaddon stopped looking up to Horus immediately once he got beaten in a fight with emps.

>Horus was weak. Horus was a fool. He had the whole galaxy within his grasp and he let it slip away.

>> No.15446853

>No Emperor, I beseech you, don't fuck me again

>Get your ass over here and whither under my golden cock bitch


>> No.15446917

If good old God-Empy's dick was to scale...
Well, the phrases "anally annihilated" and "violent vaginal prolapse" come to mind.

>> No.15446964

This is not your realm, mortal.

>> No.15446976

I sometimes wonder if there are other reasons why Kaela Mensha Khaine is known as the ' Bloody handed God'.

>Goes up to female Striking Scorpion, who is also a virgin
>Khaine says 'hey baby wanna know the real reason I'm bloodied handed? *raises eyebrows repeatedly*
>Striking Scorpion says 'Well I never!' and slaps Khaine, The Laughing God is all like 'Smoooth moves Khaine' and Khaine asks the God of Trolling if he could do any better

>> No.15446997

probably explains why he's the god of war and everything, he's so bitter about being friendzoned or being rejected

>> No.15447008

>striking scorpion
>implying she could refuse the advances of a god
The Eldar gods were like the Greek ones. If she said "no", he'd just ravish her. Look at what Ares was like.

>> No.15447031

>being able to conquer a howling banshee

dude they're called howling banshees for a reason y'know?

>> No.15447067


Yeah, ever wondered what happens to the Young King ("king" being relative, one was a lady Howling Banshee in Path of the Warrior), sent into the fiery chamber of the Avatar wearing nothing but bodypaint and a rapturous smile?

>> No.15447071

Because they howl?
Khaine killed Eldanesh with contemptuous ease. An ordinary warrior would be fucked. Literally.

>> No.15447074

I like how this thread derailed from discussing the Dark Gods gender to the Emps sexuality and boning preferences.

Never change /tg/ never change.

>> No.15447179


He turned to Chaos, so obviously Horus needed the help of at least 1 Chaos God to get laid, and knowing Horus (who probably had the mother of all daddy issues) he probably needed the help of all 4.


He's still got Horus' genetic material in him (one way or another at least), and of course Abbadon was the first to jump ship when Horus got his arse kicked, Horus was no longer hot shit.


Another reason for the necessity for strap-on fucking when the Emperor is involved.

>> No.15447233

Eldanesh wasn't the only elf to have it go badly with the gods.
>The Archon leading the Dark Eldar force was finally run to ground within the thick jungle of Raith by Loatheheart, who swooped down from the trees to pluck her up like a bird of prey. Disarming her in a short and bloody fight, and having broken both her arms and legs, Loatheheart delivered her quailing form to Slaanesh's Palace of Pleasure, a token and tribute from the new master of the Murderval.

Best fate or the bestest fate for an Eldar?

>> No.15447261

He managed to impregnate ordinary women. Clearly, He managed vaginal sex somehow.
The strap-on fucking would have been more more... private occasions, again, were it true.

>> No.15447390

Being a newfag to /tg/ (lurking for less than a year) and thus not able to contribute, I just wanna say I love every single one of you.

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