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[ERROR] No.15402105 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

It's the grim darkness of the far future, what role will you have in the war? Your post number determines what you'll be on the battlefields of the 41st millennium. If you like, maybe write a paragraph about it or something after you roll.

>> No.15402123

All right, let's see what I end up as...

>> No.15402130

Emperial boobie inspector...comoooooon Emperial boobie inspector

>> No.15402136

>>15402105

Asuryan? Really? I don't know nearly enough about him to do a story about him.

Um... hey Eldar my children, don't forget to wear your soul stones.

>> No.15402144

rolled 2 = 2

Rolling.

>> No.15402145

Why not?

>> No.15402147

rolled 68 = 68

Oh boy.

>> No.15402152

>>15402144
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

>> No.15402153

ORKS ORKS ORKS ORKS ORKS ORKS ORKS
ORKS ORKS ORKS ORKS ORKS ORKS ORKS
ORKS ORKS ORKS

>> No.15402162

>>15402123
Huh. Striking Scorpions.

Guess I could go shoot a few Dark Eldar while I'm at it.

>> No.15402166

rolled 70 = 70

Let's roll!

>> No.15402170

>>15402153
Just one reroll.

>> No.15402171

Rollan

>> No.15402176

ROLL FOR THE ROLL GOD

>> No.15402177

>>15402130
the life of a simple Gretchin is only the prequel to a harsh and painful death. i had spent my young life with this knowledge and used it to fuel my passion for self improvement. surrounded by philistines and nincompoops it wasn't too hard to excuse myself from any job "nah boss, das some otter git yoz got to get the ammo"
day and night i would sit inside the hutt i fashioned out of planks of wood an metal with some imperial book or eldar scroll, slowly decifering its mysteries.

>> No.15402179

Rolling

>> No.15402184

>>15402166
HWE CAPTOOReD EET FOR KAY-OHS!

>> No.15402196

rolled 99 = 99

>> No.15402200

This sentence here is to signify that this post is indeed mine for me to match my post number to the corresponding chart.

>> No.15402204

>>15402177
Ave Dominus Nox.
Please cruel fate, allow me to join him.

>> No.15402207

>>15402136

I'll run with this one instead

Gobzap raved, foaming against his restraints. The roar of thousands of Orks surrounding him in the WAAAGH created a crescendo of noise and energy that reverberated through his skull. Boss Smashgit, the leader of this warband, stood well behind the crackling Weirdboy, directing Gobzap towards their enemies. The imperial guard formation, dug into its trenches several hundred ("lots", to an Ork) yards away, waited for the Orks to get closer before opening up with heavy stubbers and lasguns. Basilisks were already pounding away at the green carpet of Ork Boyz, blowing sizable holes out of it. A Leman Russ pointed its battle cannon directly at Gobzap and his handlers. As it fired, it seemed time slowed down, and Gobzap could see the leisurely spinning projectile coming closer and closer. With a belch, crackling energy shot out of Gobzap's mouth. The lightning intersected with the ordnance round, causing it to explode almost harmlessly over what had previously been a group of Grotz, and was currently a chunky red and green paste. The mob thundered onward. As the potent WAAAGH energies built up inside Gobzap, he barely noticed that the warboss had picked him up, and thrown him over the Imperial Guard lines. Before the surprised guardsmen could react, Gobzap went critical, exploding in a massive ball of lightning and psychic energy. Many were felled by bolts of lightning, others were flattened by the pressure wave of the explosion. Gobzap's "noble" sacrifice had left a massive crackling hole in the Imperial Guard line, and the green tide was rushing to it and through it.

>> No.15402209

>>15402200
look man, the Emperor can put any text he wants

>> No.15402210

>>15402200

BY HIS HOLY NAME.

>> No.15402216

>>15402200
All hail the God-Emperor of Mankind.

>> No.15402218

Emperor get

>> No.15402220

What form will my soul take when it leaves the warp?

>> No.15402223

This isn't nearly as good as fap roulette.

>> No.15402224

>>15402200

AVE IMPERATOR!

(also, peeps, it's your post number, not a dice roll -OP)
(but, fuck, make it a decent story and I don't really give a shit -OP)

>> No.15402230

Oh god oh god oh god...

>> No.15402231

>>15402218
Skull helmet wooooo!

>> No.15402236

>> No.15402240

>>15402230
SHITCOCK!

>> No.15402242

48,42 or 47 get!

>> No.15402247

And this incarnation is....

>> No.15402250

Beep

>> No.15402254

Emperor time.

>> No.15402259

>>15402145

Typical. Was there ever a day where I didn't have to do everything? I mean, come on, it's not like I'm an Astartes or anything. I'm always stuck with soloing the lascannon. I don't even know how I end up in these situations. It's almost like as soon as I get assigned my new partner, he's always, always, ALWAYS some lazy sonovabitch who can't pull his own weight. Just today I was deploying against a small Ork insurrection, right? I was assigned with Ollam on my team. He's usually a pilot, but due to limited resources he was with me, manning Black Betty. I put him on charge pack detail, of course. There's no way in hell that anyone is touching MY weapon. Anyway, we get about ten minutes into the battle and I ask him to cool the gun. He doesn't reply, so I turn around and, what do you know. Ollam in all of his lazy-ass glory was taking a damn dirt nap! How do you justify that in the middle of a battle?!? Eh, doesn't matter, anyway. I can handle myself, 'long as I've got Black Betty at my side.

Thanks for listening, diary. You're a great listener.

>> No.15402260

rollan

>> No.15402263

>>15402247
... I can see evverrrrrrything. AhahahahaHAHAHa. hee... um... oh god... I hear them, they come for me... beloved emperor shield me.... I don't wanna be warp fodder! Waaaaaaaaaah!

>> No.15402275

Ill give it a go.

>> No.15402281

rollan

>> No.15402284

Post number? Pah, rollan /tg/ style

>> No.15402288

>>15402242
> 48,42 or 47 get!

Are you a wizard?

>> No.15402289

rolled 57 = 57

>>15402284
Captcha ate my roll...

>> No.15402292

>>15402289
Eatan people and taking their abilities for the win!

>> No.15402295

rollin'

>> No.15402297

rolled 2 + 1 = 3

blah?

>> No.15402301

Having done the Weirdboy story, I'm going to do another roll + story.

It's funny, I didn't put very many truly terrible choices on there, but people just keep getting Grot. Buncha runty little gitz in here.

rolling!

>> No.15402320

Rollin'

>> No.15402327

I'll bite.

>> No.15402329

rolled 1 = 1

Let's go.

>> No.15402330

rolled 28 = 28

Rawlling

>> No.15402331

ze roll

>> No.15402332

dik

>> No.15402336

Rollan.

>> No.15402344

>>15402301

JUST AS PLANNED

Ha ha, can you believe I've got people tricked into thinking that the Emperor has to stay alive on the Golden Throne, or else the entire galaxy will collapse into Chaos and the warp? They've got him trapped in that near-dead body and he's been stuck there for ten thousand years now! Suckers! Course, what they don't know is that if he ever was to die, he'd become a god of the warp, fully powerful, able to wipe all the rest of us out. Just kidding! Actually he'd get reincarnated and have to start from scratch, but in the meantime there'd be no travel in the warp for anyone using the Astronomicon, and everyone would be fucked! The other funny thing? All of humanity is supposed to be psychic by now, and the constant feeding of psychics to the Emprah is holding back human evolution. But that's actually good for you worms, because if all humans were psychic, they'd open portals to the warp all over the galaxy and Chaos would come spilling through! Or I'm just completely full of shit and trolling all of Chaos and all you fuckers. Who can tell?

>> No.15402349

rolled 30 = 30

>> No.15402351

>>15402329
Either a farseer or Tzeentch?

Excellent.

>> No.15402353

>>15402349
god dammit

>> No.15402359

>>15402353

And if you were going off post count instead of roll, you coulda been an IG officer. Weedy git!

>> No.15402368

All right, let's see what I have become!

>> No.15402378

lets roll

>> No.15402393

good roll go

>> No.15402400

rolling

>> No.15402401

>>15402393
Scourge.
Jetpack, check.
Heavy weapon, check.
Yesss... I think this works Just Fine.

>> No.15402405

>>15402401
>Yesss... I think this works Just Fine.
>His post is 01 - Tzeentch
Just As Planned.

>> No.15402416

rolling>>15402400
fuck yea
hail to the king baby

captcha: nolicie them
nolicie them indeed

>> No.15402421

This can only end poorly.

>> No.15402425

rolled 60 = 60

>>15402105
we rollan

>> No.15402430

VICTORY

>> No.15402434

>>15402425
i...am ok with this.

>> No.15402439

>>15402430
>VICTORY
>Gretchin

>> No.15402479

>>15402400
what are dice like these called? and do they even work?

>> No.15402515

dice+d100

>> No.15402520

>>15402479

He rolled the Emperor, looks like it worked

>> No.15402576

rolled 58 = 58

rollin

>> No.15402605

dice+1d100
I be rollin'

>> No.15402608

FOR KHORNE!

>> No.15402743

>>15402608

Well, you're close. WAAAGH, amirite?

>> No.15402748

>Dis' gon' be guud

>> No.15402923

00 get

>> No.15402929

rolled 1 = 1

Rolling

>> No.15402939

>>15402929
Just As Planned

>> No.15402950

rolled 100 = 100

rollin

>> No.15402964

>>15402950
Fuck year, I'm the motherfucking Emperor

>> No.15402973

Let's see what happens...

>> No.15402976

Fuckyear

>> No.15402988

Rolling

>> No.15403007

rolled 49 = 49

herp

>> No.15403016

Well, here goes.

>> No.15403024

rollan'

>> No.15403040

rolled 45 = 45

lets try this then.

>> No.15403043

rolling

>> No.15403046

>>15403040
heavy weapon IG, meh.

>> No.15403051

/roll 1d100
rollin

>> No.15403760

Rollan

>> No.15406192

rollin

>> No.15406244

Rolling

>> No.15406276

rolled 90 = 90

dice-roll

>> No.15406291

rolled 42 = 42

rollan

>> No.15406383

i wanna be gork!

>> No.15406392

rolled 12 = 12

wat

>> No.15409086

Roolling

>>
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